>Be Anon, living in Equestria >You're out of food,

>>29353996
Drink the water.

>>29353996
Wait till night to go to the store. By then the likelihood of running into someone should be much lower.

Stab any mares i see on the way there, and tell the stallions that if they try anything funny, they're next

>>29353996
Move in with the griffons.

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Fuck as many as I can and when I'm done, escape, knocking out those who block my path.

>>29353996
Use the evil wizard as a decoy and then move out to Zecora's. She's not a pony.

>>29353996
>rape

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>>29353996
>rap
No, seriously. I'd make a rap song that makes the ponies around me join in. In the middle of it, I'd fuck off innawoods.

[Intro]
Oh, my, god. Twilight, look at his butt.
It is so big. [scoff]
He looks like one of those rap mare's coltfriends.
But, you know, who understands those rap mares? [scoff]
They only talk to him, because, he looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?
I mean, his butt, is just so big.
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like, out there, I mean— gross. Look!
He's just so... human!

[Sir Ponka Donk]
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other ponies can't deny
That when a guy walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get in heat, wanna bang on his meat
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans he's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh bro, I wanna get with you
And take your picture
My homemare tried to warn me
But that butt you got makes me so horny
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupie
I've seen them dancin'
To hell with romancin'
He's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average human and ask him that
He gotta pack much back
So, Females! (Yeah!) Females! (Yeah!)

[Anon starts to run away]
Has your coltfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!

[Pinkie realizes that there's no anon]
>"Whoa whoa whoa"
>"Where's my man meat gone to?"

>>29353996
Nothing because even in equestria i would be an unfuckable sperg.

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>>29353996
Set yourself on fire. Ponies can't rape you if you're on fire.

>>29353996
>implying I wouldn't want to get gang raped by a bunch of mares

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>>29353996
Rape them back
Counter-rape

>>29353996
>Problem: Every mare in town is in estrus
>Every mare in town is in estrus
>Problem

>>29353996
>If Rape Laws
>Kill first rape pone, eat in Predator's Self Defense, scare the rest off
>No Rape Laws
>Go in shadow of night and raid nearby houses for sustenance, become hermit and pray to god they don't find you

>>29353996
Since ponies aren't into humans and there are plenty of stallions around, I should be fine. Even if some mare happens to like ape penises for some reason, I just have to turn them down and it will be alright, because ponies are prone to being nice and morsl beings, especially in ponyville. Worst that could happen is seeing them do it in public somewhere, but I don't think ponies would be like that anyways. The streets probably look deserted as everyone is at home making love while I am pretty much the only person in the town buying food.

>>29353996
Go out with a bang.
>Carlos.png

>>29353996
I had an idea similar to this. But Anon needed to get milk from the market for some cookies he just baked. So it's a story about him comically trying to get across town without being overtaken by rapey, ravenous mare packs looking for cock to satisfy their crotchthrobbing.

>>29353996
Seeing as there are males around and I am not the right species for breeding, I should be left alone. Might not even need to pay if the clerks at the store are mares. Since every mare in town pissing herself in arousal, they would probably be too distracted to notice even if they were at their post.

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>>29353996
POCKET SAND!!!

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>>29355212
Genius!

As a side note I think that would make a good banner.

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>>29353996
Get to Twilight's as fast as possible so I can finally get an excuse to bang my waifu.

>>29354004
>don't have vagoo, so the next nearest hole gets wet instead
>get horrible diarrhea
>projectile liquid shit into every horse pussy that comes your way
>every mare instantly dies of septic shock
>climb through the corpses and get to the store
>enjoy your hay burger

>>29355819
link?

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>>29355451
n...no you're wrong

>>29353996
>Be Anon.
>You go to the store without issues.
>Because there is no one on any world that would willingly touch you.
>You witness three mares raping a stallion. They yell at you to go away. Even the guy getting raped.
>You need to get your money back from that wizard pony.

>>29353996
Horse meat ain't that bad for sashimi tbqh.

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>>29355120
nice anon

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>>29353996
>Inform them that human mating practices involve months, even years, of successful courting before sexual intercourse can proceed.