Royal Guardmare Thread #21

>>29328265
F I R S t
for hugs

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Posting sweetest guardsmare

>>29328289
cute poner, shitty owner
hey that rhymed

Have to say something. As the usual bat hater and the one that is digusted by its presence, restrict hate to comments.

Hijacking Blu's story is past the line

>98,000+ words
>9,600+ lines
>5,300+ views
>4 and a half months in the making

what am i doing with my life man
anyways, now i have two pastebins, because i apparently exceeded the size limit

http://pastebin.com/PqiY52Zi

>>29328289
>More Cocksock broodslave guard when?

>>29328265
Thanks for covering my ass. Had to go visit the parents

>>29328427
You're doing good work, son.

You're doing good work.

>>29328289
I want to have her lay across my lap so I can pet her.

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Messing around with some things in inkscape to make Rewind, might mess with the mane design and finish the rest of the body later

>>29329209
So far so good mate!

>>29329507
lol

>>29329209
I like this horse. Tis a good horse.

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bat

>>29328427
Enriching our literary lives.

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bin updated.

3am snuck up fast so no update tonight.

I'm getting closer to a scene I've wanted to do since I drafted up this chapter. It's gonna be fun.

wondering what to do for the next Careful arc following a little time off to make room for Yak/Nak Guard

>>29328449
Hopefully, never

>>29329758
damn. well, looking forward to it.

as far as ideas.
there's always work related stuff. maybe a promotion? or higher ups finding out she boinking her charge and don't like it. scummy coworkers. maybe an excolt friend starts causing trouble. and there's always the changeling rout.

>>29328265
She okay with him being arrested or okay with being hugged?
This is important.

>>29329758
I am enjoying Careful Watch very much. I prefer romance/slice of life over war/gore.

Brave and Vannie adds just the right amount of conflict to drive the story point forward without turning me off.

Rewind is a bit over the top for me already. It's not a bad contribution. It's just that Dystopian war and gore is not my thing.

>>29329922
I don't think you know what dystopian means, friend. And there's not been any gratuitous, grindhouse-style gore in my story so far

>>29329962
My apologies then. I made an assumption based on what little I've read. I'll tell you what. I'll start from the beginning now that you've got a pastebin up and I'll promise to try and keep an open mind.

>>29329507
Kek, is this oc?

>>29329867
>him

>>29328449
When you die, go to hell, and have satan pull you too far down his spiky cock and kills you by accident.

>>29330432
Good man, though if you played TitanFall 2, you will have seen a lot of it already.

>>29331106
When you faggots aren't so obvious and lazy shitposting in other threads, you could leave an potentially make your faggot general not shit....oh wait, what you cockgobblers want is inherently shit. Nice try for getting that (you) though.

>>29323763
>There was a brain in the sphere
>It was simply there, suspended within
>As innocuous as anything else
>”Yes. That is my brain.”
“Is… Is it real or?”
>”It is organic, yes.”
>Does this mean that…
“Bandit? Were you a pony before this?”
>”Yes, Rewind.”
>You simply hold it in your hooves as the otherworldly magic caresses your hooves
>Now more than before you hold it with practiced carefulness
>There was somepony else held within your hooves
>So that’s what he meant when he said it was him inside the orb
“What… How did this happen?”
“It is this way for every golem created.”
>Every single one?
“I meant more specifically. Just how you came to be like… This.”
>”I used to be as you were, and as Muddy Waters before you. Once the rider, now the construct.”
“So it’s a cycle…”
>”That is correct. If we are grievously injured in battle, with no odds of survival, our golem performs the final rites.”
>”It pierces the heart and extracts the rider’s brain afterwards to store it safely. The brain is then returned to the architects, who encase it in an orb like the one you hold now.”
>You glance down at the orb cradled in your arms
>It pulses with every word Bandit speaks
>”The golem is then constructed around the housing sphere and our shamans revive the brain.”
>But…
“Isn’t that a bit cruel? To never be put to rest?”
>”Our rest will come when the war ends. Every day we fight draws us closer to it.”
“Unless the crystal and the brain are destroyed, right?”
>”Correct.”

>>29331458
>You sit in silence within Bandit’s hand for a while
>It’s taking a bit to absorb the information he’s given you
>This wasn’t just an artificial construct
>This used to be somepony
>Somepony alive
>Somepony with a mom, dad, siblings
>A life just like your own
>And to become this artifact of war without so much as questioning it…
“So why doesn’t anypony refuse to become a golem?”
>”We are not divulged the information as to what they are created from. Only that they should be treated as your ally, and your partner.”
>You want to be angry
>You can feel it welling up within your gut
>It’s an awful, wrenching feeling
>But there’s no point
>It was a fact of life now
>Just like everything else in this world
>They were effective weapons
>However…
“Do you still feel?”
>”Emotions, yes.”
“Then why do you sound so… Artificial? Not like a pony?”
>”The more time that passes within this body, the less I am able to feel. I cannot feel sensations such as touch, taste or smell.”
>You remain silent
>”As such, my ability to process emotions and states of mind such as: Anger, pain, and joy is dampened. Enough times passes, and soon I forget what they ever felt like.”
>You muster the courage to ask another question
“How long have you been like this, Bandit?”
>”Approximately… 2 years, 9 months, 4 days, 12 minutes, 4 seconds.”
>So long…
>You hold the sphere tighter
>Nothing but the wind greets your pause
“So… For Muddy Waters did you… You know…”
>”Perform the last rites.”
“Yes… That.”
>”I did not.”

>>29331465
>You blink a few times
“Huh?”
>”I did not perform the last rites on Muddy Waters.”
>Confusion overtakes you
“But, I thought that’s what every golem has to do when the rider is going to die.”
>”You are correct.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
>Bandit pauses
“Bandi-”
>”I could not.”
>You sit in stunned silence as he cuts you off
“Why?”
>”Muddy Waters was my friend. My best friend. Even before I became this. As a pony, I joined the military alongside him.”
>”He was not informed when I was killed in action. But the architects assigned him to me as my rider.”
>Why would they do something like that?
>”At the time, I was still becoming used to my new body. I could still feel my visceral emotions. I could not will myself to tell him what had happened.”
>Bandit’s hand begins to grip you tighter, even as you hold the sphere in your hooves
>”When we had become cornered by Haytalian forces, Muddy Waters was injured whilst fending off infantry.”
>”Their forces locked us in the barn with magical seals when they could not destroy me.”
>They must have been gone by the time you arrived
>”I could do nothing for my friend as he died, save for accelerating the process.”
“So you…”
>”I pierced his heart and he died instantly. But I could not bring myself to remove his brain.”
>“I refused to continue the cycle and instead buried him inside the barn.”
>It’s almost jarring to hear him describe this in a nigh emotionless tone
>The pressure exerted by his grip is very apparent now
>But he seems to be making sure not to hurt you
“I’m… I’m sorry.”
>”It is not something you need to concern yourself with. I no longer possess the ability to feel grief, nor do I possess the anatomy required to produce tears.”
>You doubt that first part

>>29331474
>A considerable amount of time passes with no conversation between the two of you as Bandit continues to follow the path
>However there’s a question gnawing its way through your mind
“Hey Bandit?”
>”Yes Rewind.”
“Is Bandit your real name?”
>”It is not. It was given to me by the architects.”
“Then what’s your real name?”
>”I once was Sandstone, if my memories are correct.”
>Your mind lingers on his words
>Once was
“You’re still Sandstone though. That was who you were before this. What’s changed? Your body?”
>You gently hold the sphere up as you gesture to the golem
“Your memories are still the same. And even though I never met you before this, I’m sure your mannerisms, your quirks, your thoughts, they’re still your own, right?”
>”That is correct.”
“Then what do you mean you “once were” Sandstone? That’s still who you are!”
>You do your best to smile
>He seems to stop and think over your words
>”You hold an odd view of my situation, Rewind. One that has never been brought to my attention before.”
>That’s good, right?
>”Will you continue holding me.”
“What? O-Oh! Right!”
>You hold out the orb and he replaces it into the indentation within his torso
“Sorry.”
>”There is nothing to apologize for, Rewind. I thank you for our conversation.”
“Oh, uh… No problem.”
>He continues to hold onto you as you two leave Marelin’s city limits and proceed into the countryside
>”I recommend rest to relieve today’s stress. I will wake you upon our arrival at the station.”
>As he says so, you can feel your eyelids growing heavy
>Perhaps you’d just been ignoring it up until now
“Right. You’re right.”
>You curl up within his hand
“Just one more question.”
>He looks over at you
“What do you want me to call you from now on?”
>”You may refer to me however you wish.”
“Alright. Good night Sandstone.”
>”…Rest well, Rewind.”

>>29331480
>You dream for the first time in quite awhile
>Or rather, you’re able to recall this one as it happens
>You’re laying on the ground
>The sky is gray
>Overcast
>It’s raining
>It patters on your face gently
>Where were you?
>You crane your head to look to either side
>There’s nothing but mud, barbed wire, and trenches in either direction
>A battle took place here
>But it was over now
>Why were you still here?
>Why were you laying in Nopony’s Land?
>It wasn’t safe out here
>But the battle was over
>What happened?
>You try and sit up
>But you can’t move
>Why can’t you move?
>You start to panic as you hear hoofsteps
>Just one set
>And only two hooves
>Thump
>Thump
>Thump
>Thump
>A chill runs down your spine, but it only makes you colder
>A shadow looms over you
>You can only stare upwards as fear grips your heart
>There’s a golem standing over you
>It stares, unflinching at you
>It speaks but you can’t understand it
>It wasn’t in a language you understood
>You watch as it tilts to one side, as if confused by you
>It speaks again, and you recognize the words as it does
>”Something important in there?”
>It asks, in your voice as it places a finger upon your chest, directly over your heart
>You’re terrified
>You can’t answer as your words hitch in your throat
>”Hey, stay with me here. What’s in there?”
>You feel a sharp pain as something shoots into your chest
>You can feel it stab into your heart
>You lay there twitching
>But you don’t die
>You can feel as the familiar dagger retracts back through your body and into the golem’s finger
>You watch in agony as its hands begin to move towards your head
>As they close in and blot out your vision, you awaken in a cold sweat
>”Rewind, is something wrong?”
“What? N-No no just… Just a bad dream…”

>>29331488
>You do your best to go back to sleep
>Luckily, there are no more nightmares that plague you as you do
>You’re awoken a few hours later as Bandit places you in a traincar with no roof
“Huh? What?”
>”Records found within the trainyard indicate this one delivering cargo to the coast.”
“Really? That’s great!”
>”Advise lowering your voice. I am unable to tell if we are alone.”
“Right, sorry.”
>“It is fine.”
>The massive golem pulls a tarp over the two of you, concealing both of you from the outside world
>”The train will depart in the morning, and will take a total of two days and 3 hours to reach the coastal city of Haydelberg. It is unknown whether or not it will pass through security checkpoints.”
>You nod softly
>”If you wish to acquire more sleep, you would not be remiss to do so now.”
>You’d like to, but…
>That nightmare you had still rests in the back of your mind
>Something about it however sticks out to you
>It was that weird dagger you’d been stabbed with in your dream
>You still can’t figure it out
>You fish it out from your pack and examine it
>It continues to emanate a soft, golden light, even now
“Still got no idea what this does?”
>Sandstone takes the dagger between two fingers and looks closely at it
>”Secondary analysis: Temporal disruption as the cause of abnormally high magic levels. Recommend extreme caution if handled with magic.”
>Temporal?
>As in time?
>You take the dagger as he hands it back and put it away
>You try to take Sandstone’s advice and go back to sleep
>It was still dark out, so it wasn’t difficult

>>29331493
>”I hear they put her in a golem.”
>”What? No way, those are nowhere near our front.”
>”I’m telling you, it’s true! They brought a shaman in and everything”
>”Pff, even if they did, it’s not like Rewind would change much.”
>”I mean, that’s a bit harsh but… I can’t argue with the truth.”
>You can hear voices in your dream
>You look down
>You see hands
>You turn them over
>Your hooves are gone
>You feel cold
>You wake up
>You groan
>If you didn’t know any better you’d think Luna was up to something
>But she’s far too busy to interfere within the dreams of somepony thousands of miles away, whom she’s never met
>You can only imagine the kind of nightmares she sees during the night from everypony now
>Shuddering, you turn over and face Sandstone as those familiar words echo in your head once more
>”Something important in there?”
>You reach into your pack and remove the dagger, holding it close to your chest
>Your mind starts to race as you feel the warmth of it against your cold armor
>Just what was so important about you?
>What in your heart was so important that you were allowed to keep living?
>Why are you even laying here next to a construct that used to be a pony?
>Was living that important?
>Was that the only reason that you’re still going strong?
>Just to live?
>What kind of existence is that?
>Were you really any different from Sandstone?
>…Yes
>But he actually felt things
>He feels things even when his body is designed not to
>But what excuse do you have?
>Are your own emotions really that intrusive that you have to sequester them away?
>Why do you ignore those feelings?
>Why were you so cold?

>>29331498
>You desperately try to fight back the typhoon of questions in your mind
>Coming up with more and more excuses
>”There’s no room for your emotions when the world is like this.”
>”It’s better not to feel.”
>”This is just the way things are now.”
>”You still feel things, just not as much as other ponies.”
>”At the end of the day, living another day IS the most important.”
>All lies you keep telling yourself
>You lie there against the tarp as rain patters against the outside
>Between you, a piece of metal, and a golem, how are you the coldest thing here?
>How did it all end up this way?
>What meaning did your life hold?
>”Something important in there?”
>Why did that hurt so much?
>After a few minutes of silent contemplation, you speak up
>You try and hide your voice cracking
“H-Hey, Sandstone? Are you awake?”
>”Yes, Rewind.”
“I’m… I’m gonna try something, okay? Don’t freak out.”
>”I will refrain from being alarmed.”
>You hold the dagger up at take a deep breath
>You close your eyes
>Magic swirls about your horn, coating it in an aura of amber-orange
>It was just like any other time going back 4 seconds
>But you had to test something
>You wouldn’t be able to sleep soundly until you did
>But still you hesitated
>What if it didn’t work?
>What if you pop back into existence and nothing’s changed?
>What if you’re still laying here?
>Perhaps it would be better not to try…
>No
>In reality, what did you have to lose?
>It wasn’t as if you had an important mission to carry out
>You just wanted to keep living
>And for what, just to wake up the next day and live some more?
>Was that really a life worth living?
>Once more, with a flash of light, you cease to exist and go back in time

Whew, I won't say that this was a first for me, but man did it feel different to write this update
But it felt really good describing inner thoughts and turmoils of a character without much else going on

pastebin is updated of course

>>29331126
Who are you talking about?

>>29331520
really good stuff man I'm definitely enjoying it

>>29331106
idk what you're talkin about all i see is guards protecting the princess from a savage illegal hugging attempt.

bump from 9
>>29332337
It just wants (you)s, don't feed it.

>>29331654
The Captain probably just got triggered by the mere mention of the word "gay" again.

>>29333404
Nice boogyman dumbass. Did you freaks find it again, or are you faggots going to use that name again to pretend there is only one person that hates your shit?

>>29327872
>Brave slowly drops into the bath, dipping her forelegs in and having a hard time moving over.
>You can just see her rump and hind legs on the outside, trying desperately to scale the tall tub.
>And as much as your inner-self wouldn't mind the view, you try not to look and instead hold your hand out for her hind leg to stand on.
>It works, and she quickly gets over like she's climbing a fence, one hind leg at a time.
>She splashes in, and you realize you haven't even taken anything off.
>Including all the bandages wrapped around you.
>...Shit.
>You were aware of them being there, but you didn't think about what might happen if you hopped into hot water with them.
>After biting your lip and thinking, you decide to just see the extent of the damage.
>It's been eight days, it might have all healed enough to be somewhat safe.
>You mean, you're pretty damn sure you have stitches on your stomach that should definitely not be in the water, but you'll take your chances with that.
>Going for your right arm first, you slowly unwrap the bandages around where you remember there being a particularly large scratch.
>But to your surprise, there's nothing there but a small scar.
>Okay, you remember there being a PRETTY BIG cut, right where you're looking.
>Shaking your head, you take off all the bandages on your left.
>Nothing.
>Legs?
>Bigger scars, but fucking nothing.
>What the hell kind of sorcery is this?
>Your arms and legs, in a matter of eight days, have completely healed.
>Seriously, you don't get it.
>Finally, you lift the tattered remains of your shirt and slowly unwrap those bandages.
>Now here, you're absolutely certain there's something.
>There has to be, because you still feel sore as hell there.
>You stand there and unwrap, then finally come down to taking the last few bandages off.
>Once you do, you're just confused further.
>No stitches, no huge gash, just a tiny cut.
>Like, enough to just warrant a band-aid.
>What the hell.
"What the hell."

>>29334125

so today i had filled a prescription for someone whose last name was abat, and it amused me more than it should have

>"What's wrong, Anon? Why aren't you hopping in, yet?"
>You walk up to the tub and just show them where your cuts should have been.
>They don't say anything.
>In fact, they kind of just look at you like you're retarded.
"How the hell did these cuts heal so fast? I mean, look at this!"
>"...Yeah? That was the stasis spell at work."
>You look around at yourself a little longer.
>But the looks they're giving you tell that you're clearly getting freaked out over something common for ponies.
>You shake your head and figure there's no way to understand it.
>Magic is a whole thing you wouldn't want to waste your life learning about.
>But seriously, if there was a way to combine moder- well, pre-Equestria tech with magic, flying cars and shit could've been made a long time ago.
>And imagine how much better your time there would have been?
>You would've spent less time gaming alone and more time showing these girls the wonders of it.
>You could've been watching scary movies and shit, enjoying the extra comfort when they cuddle against you because they're scared.
>...Damn it.
>Well, regardless of the many missed opportunities, for both mankind and yourself, maybe it's as it should be.
>Can't imagine what some people would do to other ponies.
>...Christ.
>You blink and shake those thoughts away, when you realize you've just been staring at the ground for a solid minute.
>You take your destroyed shirt off and toss it on the ground.
>At this point it looks less like a shirt, and more like some kind of goddamn tribal wear.
>Moving over to the pants, it's hard not to remember how commando you're going right now.
>And though these two already got a sneak peek of Jr, you'd rather not just wave him around like that.
>This whole bathing thing still seems a bit weird to you.

>>29334146
kek, that sounds amazing.

>>29334146
>You slide them trousers off and cover your Anon bits, then slowly make your way in the water while the girls turn away.
>As suspected, they blush furiously, and you can't help but find these cartoon-like physics at work amusing.
>Seriously, it should not be possible to be so red.
>When you blush, you can notice it, sure, but not as bad as these girls here.
>Especially with Brave having a pure white coat, she could be used as a beacon with a face as red as that.
>You submerge yourself and quickly feel a shiver run up your back.
>Then bliss.
>Pure, unadulterated bliss.
"Hoooly shiiit."
>Vannie slowly nods, sharing the same relaxed look you have on your face.
>She looks like she just took a big hit of something, the way she's melting like that.
>Brave dips her head into the water -just like a duck- and quickly comes back out.
>Before she brushes the mane out of her face, she reminds you exactly of the scary Japanese girls you were talking about.
>Just, you know, cuter.
>Her mane spills out everywhere and around the water.
>It's a mystery how she's able to keep that much hair under control with a helmet.
>"-Oooh!"
>You look over, and Vannie's inspecting a bottle.
>It's the complimentary crap that comes with the room, like in a hotel.
>Of course it's all crap you don't use, because all you need is soap and shampoo, not bath salts and conditioner and shit.
>She squeezes and pours a bit of it into the water, then it slips and falls into the tub.
>"Oh hay."
>You all watch it sink to the bottom.
"What exactly was that?"
>Before you can say anything, a shit ton of bubbles start to pour out from the bottle.
>And yes, you do mean a shit ton.
>You quickly dive your hand in and grab it.
>...Bubble soap, of course.
>-But it's still making bubbles.
>OUT of the water.
"Why the hell is it still going?"
>"It's the magical kind of bubble bath. It makes a bunch when it comes in contact with water."
>Brave sighs and slowly shakes her head.
>"I know from experience."

>>29333512
>you freaks
Are you talking about someone? Seriously, your posts give an impression you're talking with voices in your head, are you ok?

>>29330432
>>29330684
Ok, I managed to catch up. I still feel the fighting was a bit more graphic than necessary. However, I do see how it fits in the narrative attempt to show Rewind's turmoil over having to kill somepony. I guess the depiction isn't that much worse than some of Blu's Anon vs Griffin scenes.

I see your character development is improving there. Particularly as Rewind learns more about Bandit. That right there is starting to draw me in.

I find the "brain in a jar" angle intriguing. Reminds me of Anne McCaffrey's shell-people or GITS even.

I haven't played TitanFall2. I did find the first one in a clearance bin somewhere. I've only done the training and had my flank handed to me in Multiplayer arenas.

>>29334256
Fluffy ponies in a fluffy bubble bath. Couldn't ask for more. Well, I could but I'll be patient. :)

>>29334256
kek
fucking vannie man

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>>29331520
You got me a little more intrigued.

>>29334256
Dirty minded ponies need a good scrubbing.

also.

>They know that a stallion's thingy is usually hidden.
Anon kinda needs to explain a bit about human anatomy.

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>>29334146
>>You would've spent less time gaming alone and more time showing these girls the wonders of it.
Chad would be better at magic of course and he'd steal all the girls from you

>>29331520
So at first, when I saw your story I kind of assumed the war environment was the setup for us to get a Royal Guard Mare kicking flank. Action-hero-mare would have fit the theme, but contrast nicely with the comfy greens we have going now.

But poor Rewind is... not that. Right now she's badly shell-shocked by the war, and what I took to be a reticent personality seems to have eroded into emotional numbness and depression. She's not gonna be the action hero, but as she starts acquiring reasons to keep going or things or people to protect, I hope we get to watch her character grow and develop into a plucky survivalist.

I hope I'm not getting too far ahead of myself But I'm looking forward to that ride. Whatever way you take it, as long as we get to see Rewind put herself back together a little bit and start using her power in clever ways to get her and her companion out of jams, it should be a good read.

>>29336645
l-let us dream, anon

>>29337083
But she's still a fluffy pure poner, man. She can't just ditch all her feelings and become Rambo.

>>29337501
I don't want that -- I want her to work through some feels and become a bit less sad sack and a bit more Little Pip. So not "roll in guns blazing" more "distract guards by deliberately triggering anti-personnel mines" or "divert the train by jumping off to hit the switch, then teleporting back to land on the next flatcar behind her."

Right now her character is written as more emotionally numb than the golem. She's just kinda going through the motions right now, and I'd rather she grow some feels.

I mean, shit, at least can we see a little bit of emotion?
Nervous anticipation before examining the creepy magic death dagger?
Fear or worry before going into dangerous situations?
A little bit of celebration or relief after making it out of a jam?

>>29338083
I'm glad that you (and a few other anons) have noticed how emotionally stilted she is. Which was what I was going for

If you'd noticed from the latest update, even she realizes it
>>Between you, a piece of metal, and a golem, how are you the coldest thing here?

And that even now she's starting to let a few things through
>“Then what do you mean you “once were” Sandstone? That’s still who you are!”

She's having dreams where there's a golem standing over her asking if there's anything in that heart of hers, while using the exact same words she did while talking to the guard she killed

That's why right now she's trying one last thing to give herself meaning, so that she CAN feel all those emotions again

>>29328427
I was reading and noticed that in the first pastebin that Vannie cleaned up the door fragments that Brave smashed and Anon acknowledged it. But later in the second pastebin Anon either has forgotten this or it's just a lil' mistake.
Just thought you'd wanna know baby-Blu <3
Line 3875 on the first pastebin http://pastebin.com/8E2vAnyi and line 723 on the second pastebin http://pastebin.com/PqiY52Zi

>>29338975
silly you anon, i dont make mistakes
goddamn it i fucking had a feeling i messed up, but i was too lazy to ctrl+f

>>29339666
The devil trips are with you.

>>29328265
So
>Every single royal guard is a mare in this general
>Even though it is shown in the show itself that pretty much every guard is a stallion

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>29339818
Reminder to not reply to shitposters, Anons!

>>29339853
We know dude, just report the faggot and ignore it. They will run off at some point.

>>29339853
How the hell is that a shitpost when it is canon? Do you even watch the damn show?

>>29339876
We do, but when we have idiots that complain about batguards not being cannon we tend to just ignore minor annoyances like that. Not to mention your previous comment isn't really relevant.

>>29339886
So you create a general that has a Mares-Only rule even though stallion guards are canon, and then you cry when people say that Luna's guards having fangs or the Royal Guards being filled with nothing but mares is bullshit? No offence, but that really sounds like a serious case of autism.

>>29339940
Now, first off dumbass, this thread is filled with straight content with writers that prefer writing mare guards. There is nothing stopping anyone from male guards, they just cant be gay/gay focused/ect. If you want to bitch about something that banal that no one else cares about, then do it yourself. Second, there isn't a mares only rule, so unless your one of our regular faggot shitposters that don't know how to read, try again when you take your meds and your not a fucking idiot. Unless your just trying to strawman, the only reason you are getting a reply is to clear up any misconceptions for newfags that are too lazy to read the OP. Good day shitposter.

>29339940
>Mare-controlled guard
Find a single story that explicitly says this is the case.
Anyways, no (You) for you, fag.

>>29340032
>There is nothing stopping anyone from male guards
Except that rule you have in the OP.
>Guard Mare
>they just cant be gay/gay focused/ect.
That's the one.
No matter how god-like or feelsy a guard story might be, it is not allowed here at all if it is even hinted that one single guard might be gay.
>Second, there isn't a mares only rule
>I don't even care about the general I hang out in
If you say you don't have a rule like that, then I suppose you don't mind getting rid of the word 'Mare' from the OP on the next thread?

>29340087
(Citation needed)

>>29340113
Its just another illiterate faggot that wondered off from HHH, just report it and ignore it now.

>>29340118
Report for doing what!?

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>29340087
>getting rid of the word 'Mare' from the OP
You wish, faggot.

>>29339666
It happens! I sure hope it gets super lewd sometime

>>29339666
Unf Vannie being a sexy bat maid is the best image ever. 10/10 change

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>>29340675
good thing it was already made, then

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>>29340675
Yeah?

which mare will lose her virginty to anon first?
brave or vannie?
will he make one of them watch patiently and take turns on the same night in some kind of akward fluffy orgy or will he treat them to their own special night of love?

>>29340869
What the fuck did you just fucking say to me you little bitch?

>>29334256
>Streams upon streams of bubbles run from the bottle and down your arm.
>There doesn't seem to be any soap left, just tons of bubbles.
>Well, can't be helped, now.
>You toss it into the tub.
"Guess it's a bubble bath, now."
>"-Anon, do you REALIZE how many bubbles HALF a bottle can make?"
>You shake your head.
"I didn't even know magic bubble soap was a thing."
>Seriously, it's like there isn't a single thing magic doesn't do here.
>First it heals you, then it threatens to drown you in bubbles.
>Brave has like, the most scared look on her face right now.
"Besides, unless the bubbles are acid or something, it won't hurt anyone."
>You pause.
>They AREN'T acidic, are they?
>-No damn it, of course they're not.
>You just held the bottle in your hands.
>But damn, with magic, who knows?
>You could drop a pistol blueprint, and when you look up, there's Maliwan weapons everywhere.
>Though you doubt ponies would be needing that anytime soon.
>-The word need rings in your head, and you slowly realize something.
>The soap and shampoo is still in the shower.
>Damn it.
>And you wouldn't want to send the girls out to get it.
"Ugh, I'll be back."
>Using the bubbles as cover, you hop out, grab your destroyed slacks, and use them as a shield.
>"Where you going?"
"I forgot the cleaning things over here!"
>You walk backwards towards the shower while the girls watch you curiously.
>Not even three seconds in, you fucking slip and fall backwards.
>You catch the back of your head with a hand luckily, but almost immediately, the girls are near the end of the tub, fore-hooves on the edge and ready to hop out.
>"Are you okay?!"
"Yeah, not dead yet. Just in pain."
>At least your front is still covered.
>Sliding around a bit, you finally bring yourself up and walk on over.
>Mission success!

>>29340884
>You throw the soap and shampoo in the pockets, then grab your scrubby thing, too.
>And since you're facing the same direction, walking back is no problem.
>The girls, blocked by the now enormous mountain of bubbles, just stick to the part of the tub they were at.
>You hop in and put everything down.
>With the bubbles and the warmth of the water, this may as well be a jacuzzi.
>"So, Anon... how come you're always covering yourself like that? I mean, you almost got hurt because of it!"
>You and Vannie share a look.
"...Weeell, back on Ear- back then, everybody wore clothes, unless they were showering, doing.... lewd things, or just weird."
>Her head tilts slightly, and she tries to make sense of your explanation.
>Then another tinge of red touches her cheeks, and she nods.
>"Oh."
"Yep. Because of that, you really only shower with your significant other, either because you're hoping to, you know, do things in the shower, or because you've been with them for so long that you're both just comfortable seeing each other without clothes on."
>She slowly nods again.
>"...Anon, that's kind of a lot of bubbles."
>You quit your monologue and turn to your side.
>And Vannie is completely right.
>Instead of spreading out, that mountain of bubbles is kind of just getting bigger.
>Really quickly, you might add.
>And while the fact that there's so many goddamn bubbles would worry anyone else, you're kind of just glad you don't have to clean this place up.
>But really, it's more of the fact that you've never had a proper bubble bath before.
>Like, imagine a bunch of these bottles in a swimming pool?
>Damn, that would be awesome...
>You scoop a chunk of bubbles with your hand and put them on Vannie's muzzle.
>For a second she's stuck still, like she has no idea what you did to her.
>Brave does that giggle again, covering her muzzle with a hoof.
>Goddamn it, you don't know how to explain it really, but just hearing that... it feels really nice.
>It's a weird feeling.

>>29340979
hhnggg

>>29340979
>Brave slowly grabs a bit of the bubbles in her own hoof.
>Though she kind of hesitates, like she's worried someone will get mad at her.
>She glances at you for what looks like approval, after staring at her hoof for a moment.
>You only respond with a small, amused smile.
>She gently places it on her head, then shapes it into a horn.
>When she looks up at herself, you get that giggle of hers again.
>Holy shit man, you know that sharp pain in your heart is no coincidence.
>Vannie leans over and grabs a ton of bubbles, then puts them on your head.
>It looks like you're part of the KKK now.
>You grab a bit and put them on your face, making what you're sure is an excellent bubble beard.
"I dunno, you girls think I should shave after this?"
>They both give you the damn cutest little laughs.
>Giggles you'd expect out of ponies much younger than they are.
>Jesus, you hope they know CPR if you have a heart attack right now.
>While they start to play around more, you take this opportunity to actually start bathing.
>You grab the shampoo first and get a big glob in your hand.
>While Vannie's turned and experimenting in bubble art with Brave, you put it on her head and start to rub around.
>Almost immediately, her ears fold over, and she gently starts to lean into your hand.
>Brave pauses and just looks on like a broke kid looking at a candy store.
>You motion her over, then pull your hand back to pour some in your other hand.
>When you turn back to them, Vannie now has this sad, pleading look on her face.
>It quickly stops when you go back to rubbing.
>The plan was kind of to just work around everything while they enjoyed the bath and everything, but they just completely stopped what they were doing.
>They both lean in, ears flopped over and their eyes closed with a smile.
>Makes you kind of jealous.
>They're enjoying their time and your fingers, and making you curious as to what it actually feels like.

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>>29341138
My heart

>>29340687
>>29340787
10/10

>>29340881
they'll lay on top of each other and make out while anon deflowers both of them

>>29340881
>>29341737
But the real question is Anon, how would YOU?
http://www.strawpoll.me/12199453

>>29341760
dude. making one of them wait like outside or something?
They need to learn to enjoy each other if this is is ever going to have any chance of working out.

>>29341861
What if another one's just out and about, though?

>>29341898
Going behind the others back should be out of the question. And if anon ask the girls what they want and that's it. I'm sure vannie would say one at a time is ok. but that's because she's already feeling like a 3rd wheel.
If it's going to happen like that she needs to go first to keep her from getting more depressed..

>>29341974
but they love being together so they should all make love together, you dig?

>>29341974
Hmm you have a point. I'm not so sure now. I did vote for the fluffy orgy but hmm I don't know

>>29342601
agreed

>>29341760
Should be special night for each, then fluffy orgy.

>>29342629
>fluffy orgy

I did too.

Just making a point for whatever ol blue decides to give us.

>>29342707
I want anon to ask them and see what they're comfortable with, who wants to be first and whatnot
They need to get what they want weither that's a huge orgy pile or individually and it shouldn't be anons decision

>>29342726
This seems like the most pertinent use of his time, preferably now as he has their undivided attention and Sun an Moon horse isn't around to make things awkward. those two are going to jump in and cock block so fucking hard, I am calling it now.

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>>29331520
I had to take a week off due to busy times, so I only saw your green today. And man am I glad I didn't skip it. This thread was missing a story that isn't a full on harem self insert fic (that seems to have dropped the "guard" part along the way). Your pacing was really awkward at first, but you improved. I was also concerned about the main character randomly having this super awesome life saving power, but so far you're not overusing it. The gore feels unnecessary, but I guess that's what happens when you come up with a spike launcher as a main weapon (which is an odd choice desu senpai)

The one thing that irks me however, is your world building. You obviously went for this WW1 x Titanfall theme, and you tried to create the feeling of a universal conflict that flips everyone's lives upside down. But I feel that you went a bit too far on that. See, before the last batch, I had no idea who is fighting who. You have an Equestrian air force being shot down by Phrench(?) forces, the main charcter is on an empty(?) zeppelin that is crashing down but being boarded by 1 dude all the meanwhile. As a result they crash in Germany(?), which is being invaded by Italy. And in the words of main character, both of those forces are hostile. You further contradict that by naming Germany the ally of Equestria. So this feels like a giant FFA with everyone fighting everyone, and Celestia randomly sending squadron of zeppelins to die for no reason, to the wrong country no less. Neither of the world wars was like this - it was party A fighting party B. If party C got involved, they sided with whoever they were not fighting. You created a giant clusterfuck that makes it hard to follow the premise.

Also, someone mentioned that your story is OC only, and could very well be about humans. I somewhat agree, since it's literally horses fighting horses, and no sign of other races in there. This adds to the other problems I have with the war you created, and makes a very awkward premise.

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>>29343774
Oh, and "no man's land" is not a random phrase that people used to describe wasteland. It was literally the area between two trenchlines, that was not controlled by any side. You can't just use it to describe a countryside in the hostile country, as it is, by definition, controlled by (hostile) forces. Germany or Italy, but it doesn't matter - behind enemy lines != no man's land

Yes yes, >>>/his/ and all that

>>29343774
>This thread was missing a story that isn't a full on harem self insert fic (that seems to have dropped the "guard" part along the way).
(You)

>>29341138
Now is the time Anon. In the cover of the bubbles, push the bat's head below the water until it stops making bubbles. Then live with strong Brave.

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>>29343774
>>29343784

I'm trying not to directly parallel any major world war here desu famalamadingdong.
Sorry if it seems like a clusterfuck, but I actually do have a concrete idea written down of who is against who
It involves Equestria, Zebrica, Germaneigh, and the Trottoman Empire on one side (who I suppose you could call the allies)
Against Haytaly, Prance, Trottoman Rebels and Gryphus, the latter of which hasn't been introduced/mentioned yet.
Which I suppose is almost a mirror to WWI, but I digress.

To address your quibbles with the story that weren't explained very well: Since there are no aeroplanes in pone world, seeing as how they don't need them with wings and such, their aerial battles are mostly aerial melees. And since there are no planes, they take down zeppelins by boarding and clearing them out from the inside. Rewind woke up on one at the tail end of that process when every other pone had already cleared out

I don't recall where Rewind said both forces were hostile, but that's decidedly not true in the context in which you say so. The reason both forces are hostile is because she and Bandit/Sandstone would be caught in the crossfire with both sides assuming they're an enemy. If I DID at some point have Rewind say the Germaneigh was specifically an enemy, then please point it out.

And yes, I'm well aware that no man's land is what you described, and I wouldn't have used it otherwise. They DI crash land inbetween a large expanse between trenches

It may not seem like it, but to my own credit, I know what I'm talking about

Oh, and the Killer7 being a spike launched was because I didn't simply want to put lolgunz in horseland. It would just feel lazy to me. Instead I ended up making what was essentially pone-mounted artillery, sized down, that launches spikes. Specifically spikes because it's a Haytalian weapon, and in this story, their big thing is weapons that maim as well as kill.

>>29344406
It's actually highly suggested that guns (((do))) exist in horseland in-show in a very basic form, but then again my only given evidence is Rainbow talking about boolet. Throw in some saddle-mounted arquebus and be a real man.

>>29343774
Also her power is far from life saving
If you read early on it states that she retains injuries even while going back. Her reflexes are what save her most of the time.

And I assure that even if it's not had an emphasis put on it, the Guard pretext is still there. There's a subtle detail that she name-dropped a while back. Specifically that she's not a royal guard, but an imperial guard. It's why her armor isn't golden and is instead made of a different material and design.

I didn't just want to keep major powers that are known IRL and just transplant them into the green because it just felt lazy. Some got mixed around, others have been altered substantially. While it may be confusing (as shown from your response) it's also not a carbon copy of existing events

>>29344451
New developments in pone-based warfare will be coming Soon™

>>29344494
Nice.

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>>29344406
>I'm trying not to directly parallel any major world war here desu famalamadingdong.
Between trenches, zeppelins, German gas grenades, soldiers in gas masks, primitive artillery, Gallipoli-like assault and the recent surge in popularity of WW1 in popular culture, I couldn't tell.

>I don't recall where Rewind said both forces were hostile
Fair enough. It was
>>”CORRECT. LAST REPORTS OF CONFLICT FROM MARELIN: REPELLING HAYTALIAN ASSAULT. MAY STILL BE ONGOING.”
>“So we could be walking straight into a firefight without knowing it.”
But, afterwards there was this line
>Assumedly Germane soldiers are pointing and starting to level the cannons at you
Which makes no sense to me really. If, as you said, golems are only procuded by Zebras to help Ottomans, both of which are allied with Germanes, why would they be hostile towards one? Even worse, why would the golem be hostile towards them?
>”THE DEATH OF ANOTHER ALLY AS A RESULT OF MY INACTION IS UNACCEPTABLE.”

>And yes, I'm well aware that no man's land is what you described, and I wouldn't have used it otherwise. They DI crash land inbetween a large expanse between trenches
So I assume they were trying to fly over to Prance from Equestria. That 1 zeppelin has steered of course and crashed in Germaneigh. How and when is that a terrain between trenches? German-Pfrench trenches? But they just walked out of it, straight into the capital without encountering any trenches, let alone any Pfrench troops. They just got shot by Italy and killed their allies in Germanes.

>Also her power is far from life saving
>If you read early on it states that she retains injuries even while going back.
So that's what it meant. I couldn't for the life of me understand what injuries, since she said she had died at one occasion

>And I assure that even if it's not had an emphasis put on it, the Guard pretext is still there.
I didn't question that.

>>29344743
You make a fair point about the golem bit, but I'm gonna handwave that bit away by saying that the golems are only being deployed on the Zebrican front, where Germaneigh wouldn't really be around anyway.
And Bandit/Sandstone being hostile towards the allied Germane soldiers is mostly explained by them being hostile towards Rewind. Gotta protect her y'know?

Apologies for me making it seem like she'd died once before, but I meant that she'd fallen off some scaffolding and activated her 4 second rewind magic, putting her back up on it before she could fall too far. That was my bad.

I'm still learning and developing my writing as I go along. I've only written a few other greens before this

>>29343774
>>29344406
I'm glad I'm not the only who felt the same way about the gore. I accept that some needs to be portrayed; it is a war setting after all, but I think there is a point were it becomes unnecessary.

As promised, I did read it again and caught up to the latest update as of now. I can feel myself getting hooked by the existential exploration Rewind (and possibly now Bandit/Sandstone) swirling in their minds. The writing is improving as I could almost feel Rewind's concern over the fact that Bandit was(is?) a living, breathing pony.

I too found the battle at the mansion a little confusing as I thought they were allied as well. I chalked it up to a "fog of war" moment. Or, perhaps, there's more too it? And what is that dagger?
aw, carp. ok maybe the story is growing on me ;P

until next time Anons.

>>29344888
checked

And also I don't plan on the gore being a major part of the story
I did so in the mansion to show the kind of shit that Rewind had to go through dealing with her allies
As well as a reflectory "Oh shit what am I doing is this necessary" type thing

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>>29344883
>Bandit/Sandstone being hostile towards the allied Germane soldiers is mostly explained by them being hostile towards Rewind. Gotta protect her y'know?

>I cannot let my ally get hurt through inaction.
>I will therefore protect my ally through action.
>But then I will hurt allies with my action.
>...
>I never asked for this

This "robotic not quite" moral dilemmas could be taken to some places.
>inb4 protecting the rider overtires everything else

Pic unrelated

>>29345234
Yeah I was kind of setting up for a dilemma caused by his logic, but I'm not going for an Asimov's law sort of thing. For the most part they've got free will

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>>29328265
Memes

>>29345653
I don't get it.

>>29345703
She was arrested.
Now she's in prison.

>>29345710
That's not a prison though...that's a straight jacket and asylum room.

>>29345280
Now knowing how the golem is created I would think the three laws would not apply anyway. Does provide many story possibilities though.

>>29345715
Maximum security.
Plus torture because she can't have the mangoes.

>>29345745
I don't get the mangoes thing, but whatever. I can only imagine the faggot shitposter complaining about bats and mangoes like they killed his parents.

>>29345653
Fuck off to your own general.

>>29331504
I'm glad to see you're sticking to writing this. Our current works are great, but having a more serious-themed guardpone story is a nice turn as well. Keep at it!

>9
nein

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>>29345843
whelp, at least we know batfag is still among us

>>29341138
>>29344033
No, now is the time when he can touch one lewdly without the other knowing.

Lets see how long she can keep herself composed until she does something that lets the other know whats going on.

>>29347519
Solid Anon stealth molests his girls in the tub, behind a thin cover of bubbles...yesssss.

>>29345653
that's horrible. and you should feel horrible.

>>29345653
That's really cute, but damn man you draw your ponies fat as hell.

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>>29348359
>fat
nigga you mean THICC

>>29341138
>Sure, you'd think that the fact that they have flat-surfaced hooves also plays a part in it, but still.
>They're acting like this is the best thing ever, and you kind of wish you could just experience it for yourself to find out.
>You run your fingers through their manes, and yeah, there's definitely more to cover with Brave's mane.
>Though Vannie's definitely fluffier.
>It'll take a while to clean that coat of hers, you're sure.
>-And speaking of clean, you notice that those damn bubbles are getting dangerously close to you.
>The tub is pretty damn big as it is, so the fact that it's now got you cornered so quickly is kind of ridiculous.
>It slowly moves closer to you, and you end up paying more attention to the enormous glob of bubbles beside you.
>And soon enough, it all slowly wraps around and completely encases you.
>Fucking hell there's so many bubbles.
>If you didn't know you were at the edge of the tub, you'd never find your way out of this without tripping and falling out of it.
>You pull your hands back and try to give yourself some room here.
>One of the girls gasps.
>"Anon! Where'd you go?"
>Before you open your mouth, you figure you could have a little fun here.
>You've got bubble cover now.
>You sneak and slowly make your way towards the middle of the tub.
>"W-where's Anon?"
>"I can't tell! There's too many stupid bubbles!"
>"A-Anon! Where are you?"
>You have to suppress a shit eating grin while you stand there.
>Man, you really do feel like a kid again.
>You dip your head in and take a quick look around the water.
>It stings like hell, but you can see their hooves over in one spot.
"Oh god, the bubbles are killing me!"
>"-Anon!"
>Another quick peek, and you see her starting to doggie paddle towards you.
>Sneakily moving away a bit, you decide to go after Vannie first.
>Man, trying to spook a pony should not be this fun.
>You mean, you haven't even done anything yet, and you're smiling like a retard.

>>29348586
>Making sure she's turned away from you, like a sneaky snake, you walk your way over.
>"Vannie? Anon?"
>"I'm still here! You see Anon yet?"
>"No, I can't see anything!"
>Just on her words alone, you can tell that she's right next to you.
>But to make sure, you check under the water again.
>Alright, you're good, let's spook a pone.
>Moving through the water, you're almost completely silent.
>The noise Brave's making while moving around is more than enough to silence your own movements.
>You hold your arms in, and move juuust a bit closer.
>Once you can see a small silhouette in the bubbles, you decide to attack.
>You hop towards and grab her.
>"-EEE!"
>She freaks out and starts splashing around, but it's too late, you've already gotten her in you grip.
>After she realizes you're no water demon, she scrunches.
>"Dear Luna, Anon! Nearly killed me!"
>"-Vannie? What's happening?"
>You put a finger on her muzzle, getting a slightly annoyed look in return.
>Though, you notice her gaze lower a bit, and a blush forms on her face.
>Before your mouth runs off, you look at yourself.
>Not only are you, well, in the tub as you are, but you've got Vannie close against you.
>...Yeah, you can kind of see it, now.
>She looks off to the sides, as if expecting to see a whole crowd staring at you both.
>Not only that, but the expression on her face is just nervous.
>So, instead of keeping it that way, you give her a small kiss on her forehead.
>-Oh god, you can taste the damn shampoo.
>It's too terrible for word-
"-MMF!"
>Your mind quickly starts up and processes what's happening.
>Vannie just caught you in a kiss.
>She pushes you against the edge of the tub, ears folded over and eyes shut, like she's scared to open them.
>You can practically feel the heat radiating from her cheeks.
>But as quickly as it happens, it stops, and she pulls away, shaking slightly like she's made a terrible mistake.
>-Oh hell, you need to keep Jr. in line here.

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>>29348594

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>>29345653
Kill yourself

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>29348753
and here, we find another faggot, hiding in his natural habitat, desperately searching for a (You) to feed himself with.

what sets this sub species apart from other anons, is that instead of giving a thread genuine, well thought responses, it resorts to a kind of behavior we like to call, "shitposting"

while the drive of the creature's behavior is unknown, the mindless faggot tends to attack everywhere and everywhere it believes a (You) may be plucked, in order to feed, and survive another day.

>>29348594
Good, now give brave the spoops.
Also...
>you need to fug the mares, anon

>>29348594
ok, blu, now that everyone's interested and fug will happen soon, it's the perfect time to abandon the threat for like a week or so.

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>>29349035

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>>29349035
>Posting unrelated content that belongs in other general is not shitposting
>Telling the people who do that to fuck off is
Didn't we have that discussion 50 times already?

>>29348594
>you give her a small kiss on her forehead

damn that's cute.

>mmf
too bad the shampoo is spoiling it a little for her.

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>>29348594
BATS GOING FOR THE DICKING

back with more excuses. been trying to make my sleep schedule normal, which is impacting writing since I usually hammer out CC updates from 1-3AM on the brink of passing out. hope to get back to it soon.

>>29349762
>sleep

That's what meth is for silly.

>>29349762
nah. who needs slee..zzzzzzzzzz

>>29349313
noooooo, don't you dare! Don't give 'em any ideas Anon.

>>29349762
I feel you. My sleep schedule is fucked a lot of the time.

>>29348359
You don't know the joy of proper breeding hips.

>>29349035
>It's okay to post batmemes and other shit that has nothing to do with royal guards if I like it
>It's only shitposting if people are posting something -I- don't like
>Fuck what everyone else thinks
>>29349418
This.

>>29348594
Tell her to wait then point with your dick in Brave's general direction, lets lewdly spook these fuckpones.

Vannie Vannie rude lewd fanny!

>people this assmad over a follow up pic to the OP
it's one picture and it's done by our drawfag, calm the hell down. it wasn't even posted in the autistic shitfest that is the bat pony thread.

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>>29351084
>our drawfag
Nigga if he starts drawing anthro furry port will you still call him >yours just because he "regaled" you once with his donkey eared art?

Also I like how the narrative changes here over the time.
>Omg what are you talking about, noboty posts bats here
>Omg it's a pic of a bat horse from our story, get over it
>Lol you are so mad, it's just one picture xd

>>29351084
>bat
>bat
>bat from bat general
>Vannie

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>>29350555
There's breeding hips and then there's bloated.

I know my breeding hips.

>>29348493
That is just a buzzword for fat acceptance. Good /fit/izens like myself know better.

>>29348586
Tell the bat that you arent into rodents. Push it away and call for Brave.

>>29353151
>Tell the bat that you arent into rodents
And that you aren't into things made up by autists.

>>29351084
>Torturing ponies.
>Especially a little cutie that just wanted a jug.

No

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>>29353445
>Not torturing ponies lewdly

>>29349313
good idea!

>>29354233
Blu, please no. I beg of you, please stay senpai.

>>29354673
It's over Anon, there will be no fluffy orgy, thanks to that other Anon.

>>29352308
>>29353662
>Stringing up a tough-as-nails guardpone and teasing her with vibrators until she cracks completely and begs you to let her cum
>Watching her muscles tense as she heaves and stretches, trying to get that last marvelous touch that will send her over the edge
>Continuing to deny her until she's near-crying with need
>Giving her that final push to send her into a wild, spasming climax - eyes rolled back and body heaving
U-Unf....

>>29354233
>>29349762
>Blu running off to do... whatever that guy does
>CW trying to sleep normal hours

Existence is suffering, punctuated by brief moments of happiness reading greentext about cute ponies.

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>>29355193
noice

>>29354233
well shit it was supposed to be a joke, don't actually leave

also, i'm not sure if that's actually blu because he doesnt tripfag.

>>29328289
sauce?

>>29358924
I am convinced that there would have been a lot more guard stories here if that 'Mare'-part wasn't in the OP.
>Dude lurks /mlp/
>"Hmm, I feel like writing/drawing royal guards being bros and stuff. But where to go?"
>"Can't go to this guard general because it says "GuardMare", so no stallions."

>>29359194
The OP is clear on the subject, if you want gay go to HHH. Your strawman is asinine, now fuck off.

>>29328265
I am a fucking idiot, who forgot to post the whole OP description? We are missing some important context here.
I call making the next thread so the next one isn't screwed up.
The missing part for those that don't know.
>Addressing some potential misinformation going around because of a recent shitpost plague, this thread is fine with stallions, and different species, so long as they are royal guards. Gay, gay themed, and/or gay centric prompts/stories are not approved here, go to Homo Horse Hangout for that. Side note to newfags coming in for the first time, the "Royal Guard" idea is a thread made to focus on allowing gay stories, the pastebin links they have are from this thread and do work, but they just stole them. There is only 5 or 6 of the fag posters still around so just ignore their existence when the show up for (you)s.

>>29359242
That's' too much shit. What's there is fine.

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>>29359242
I call for you to start taking your medicine again and fuck off already. The >No homo is clear enough for everyone except the likes of you, who will never be happy anyway.

You know what? Fuck it. I call boycotting the next thread with an autistic description and using what we have here instead

>>29359265
>>29359266
No Homo isn't enough, that's just begging for them to come strawman. This much is good enough.
>Addressing some potential misinformation going around because of a recent shitpost plague, this thread is fine with stallions, and different species, so long as they are royal guards. Gay, gay themed, and/or gay centric prompts/stories are not approved here, go to Homo Horse Hangout for that.

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>>29359328
Oh shut up already, there was fine amount of shitposting with that autistic part in there, anyone with half a brain will get a message anyway

>>29359359
What are you talking about?

>>29359328
You might as well tell everyone who wants bats to go to the Batpony general while you're at it.

>>29359453
There are no batpone shitposters but the ones the faggots pretend to be. If you have an aneurism at the mention of mangoes, that's your problem.

>>29359328
>>29359242
Keep it short and sweet.
>While the title says "Royal Guard Mare," any gender or species is fine, as long as they are royal guards. But please take your gay centric prompts/stories to the Homo Horse Hangout thread.

>>29359494
That works for me.

>>29359476
If you have an aneurism at the mention of one stallion who just happens to like other stallions, that's your problem.

>>29359494
Yup

>>29359476
>people posting things I don't like are shitposters
>people litetally shitposting other things is just this one big scary boggeyman that is here falseflagging.
I wish I was making this autism up

>>29359494
>Even though the title says "Royal Guard Mare," we are still okay with stallions
No offense, but that just sounds so damn retarded.

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>>29359542
I cant tell if you are actually thinking that the entire line is going to be used as the thread title, if you don't know what a comma does and you mistaken what he said, or if your fucking with us.

Why is there even a discussion around this? When you had that paragraph in there, there was shitposting. Two threads without it, no increase in shitposting. If anything it makes us look slightly less autistic. Just keep it as it is for fuck sake

>>29359603
They were banned during that time, they are just very stubborn about sucking dick here, well complaining about being able too at any rate.

>>29359617
Didn't most of the shitposting come from that super-sensitive homophobe?

>>29359665
Nah, they have been at for a few months now. Even tried to make a fake thread and everything, but when people figured out that the faggots just kept posting gay prompts like it was HHH and shitposted it to death, the thread archived before 300 posts. They are a bit butthurt by not being wanted when they try to sneak in. There was no oversensitive homophobe though, that guy was just telling the faggots to fuck off, they say there is only one to try and justify sticking around to shitpost. Hell, one of them even made a fake name and tried to make a strawman out of him, it was kind of sad.

>>29359684
>Even tried to make a fake thread and everything
>If it doesn't have the "mares, no gays allowed" in the OP, then it is a fake thread
So what you're saying is that no one is allowed to create guard threads anymore on /mlp/ if they don't put that "no homo allowed unless it's between two mares" rule in the OP? You're not really helping.

>There was no oversensitive homophobe though
Oh please, we all know he's here.
You know you have a problem if you have post a wall of text about how everyone is a samefagging homo the second someone posts one tiny line of green in other generals that don't even have a problem with people posting gay prompts.

>>29359617
>They were banned.
Are you actually mentally handicapped? Because that is some Adolf Hitler level of mental gymnastics, except he was doing it on purpose.

>We are being swarmed by gay shitposters, they are ruining our thread!
>W-what do you mean they are not? W-well, that's only because they are banned. Because I can totally know that on an anonymous imageboard for chinese cartoons, trust me! We must expell the jew-err I mean put more autism in the OP. Yes, totally.

Stop it. Get some help.

Honestly, it's kinda funny and a little sad when you think about it.
>Gay guards, no matter how awesome or feelsy the story might be, are not allowed because "they only care about sucking dicks and nothing else reeeee"
>Meanwhile, people are talking about lesbian mares who only cares about eating carpet
>>29355193
>And torture porn

>>29359906
Neither of those happened, you might want some fresh straw buddy.

>>29359919
>Neither of those happened
>Last thread had some lesbian action and art posted
>Literally made a reply to an Anon talking about torture porn in this very thread
Are you illiterate? Or do you just have a bad habit of replying to others without actually reading their posts first?

>>29360010
That was a out of context pic of Vannie an Brave(still waiting for the drawfag to come finish it), and this>>29355193
isn't torture porn. Unless you don't know what your taking about, or are just another of the few faggots that got back looking for a (you), that isn't even close to torture porn. So about that straw, did you get something fresh or are you just so desperate that you think repeating the wrong thing will somehow make it correct.

>>29360079
There's no reasoning with fags, Anon.

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>>29329614

>>29360182
True enough, in any case I am off to make something to eat. A question to bring the thread back on topic after the shitposting spree, what would you feed your neighborhood guard, do you feed your waifu guard something special?

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>>29328265
you wouldn't happen to know if that bat pony is this one by any chance?

>>29360320
its a random pic with guard pones doing their job, use your imagination or something.

>>29360271
>what would you feed your neighborhood guard
I would feed him hay.

>>29360337
yeah but like the hors is cute. like super cute, i was just wondering

>>29360320
>>29360363
Why don't you just beat it to the Bat general and ask them?

>>29360375
I mean maybe that'll work.

>>29360388
We aren't a knockoff bat thread, so that should have been your first idea anyways, no harm done though, and good luck finding out. Also checked.

>We absolutely must post elaborate essays about just how straight this thread must be, just so that people from /otherthread/ don't come here.
>Having unrelates memes from /mythread/ though is okay, as there is no way it will cause people from it to come here and post unrelated garbage.

>>29360409
i never said you were

>>29360467
I know, we just have a lot of shitposters lately pretending to be regulars and stir up trouble.
link this guy>29360423
you unfortunately gave them some ammo to bitch about a bit long until the mods come an clean them up, but no hard feelings mate, have a good day.

>>29360532
well shit i apologize

>>29360579
Its okay, if you didn't do it one of them would. Its cool, they are very dedicated shitposters, and I think they are back to the five or six of them still around. We got this, go find the name of your prison girl.

>>29360595
Sixty. At least. They were hired by Illuminati and Bernie Sanders just to spite you anon.

>>29360595
So you're a shitposter if you don't like batponies and batmemes, but you're an alright guy if you don't like the tiniest amount of gay guards?

>>29360723
Don't encourage the idiots, just call the mods and ignore them. Fake (you)s are still (you)s.

>>29360735
Announcing fake reports is a bannable offense

>>29360320
no it is not.

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Apologies for breaking up the shitposting for a moment, but Rewind's vector is done

>>29360786
where da cute mares at

>>29360790
Neat

>>29360799
*lewd mares

>>29360861
>not superior cutelewd

>>29360861
*lewd guards

>>29360790
Cooool, next thread image.

>>29360790
Not half bad!

Looks like a younger Mayor Mare. Pretty cute - would fuck in a foxhole during a lull in the fighting while she covers her mouth so as not to alert anyone with her moans.

>>29361210
Unf

>>29360271
bananas
mangoes

>last bit of green 1 day and 21 hours ago
Nice job Anon, you really did it now.

>>29361503
I apologize, yesterday was a busy day.
Almost died, threw up after winning an eating contest, outran some cops that were going in the opposite direction- the usual.

But anyways, I'm stuck without my computer now, so green might take a while.

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>>29361503
I'm stuck between saying this is why we can't have nice things or saying the shitposting is what happens when Anons are deprived of green for too long humph.

>>29361567
Shit! That sounds pretty exciting atleast to me hope your guts are A-okay though! And what happened to your computer?

>>29361580
Its a bit of both really, this board is full of impatient autists. Tg is more chill than this.

>>29361628
Just out and about right now, didn't think of bringing my porn machine with me. All the green I coulda posted is on there, and I can't continue on my phone because I don't know where I left off.

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>>29361670
So in short
>pic related
>>29362060
>porn machine
Kek and also a good travels to you!

>>29355193
Actually, "Sir, Yes Sir" listed in the OP is almost this minus the strung up and vibrators part. I wouldn't mind seeing it expanded upon.

>>29359494
Agreed

>>29360790
Not bad. I imagine this as picture take soon after joking the guard because at this time in the story I'd think she'd have bags under her eyes from exhaustion.

>>29361567
Sounds like a one shot writing prompt. Hope you're doing better.

>>29362407
Joining

Dammit autocorrect

p-please blue m-my dick
erections aren't supposed to last 48 hours

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>>29362060
My brain auto translated that to...

>"Posting from a kesterd phone from county lockup"

Hope you get released soon.

>>29348594
>Before attending to her, you try to spit out the damn soap in your mouth.
"Christ..."
>"I-I'm sorry Anon, I don't know what I was thinking, I-I was just..."
>You look at her, covering her face with her hooves and shaking even more.
>Then you realize what this must look like to her.
"-Oh, no! No no, I wasn't spitting because of you! I got some of that shampoo in my mouth."
>You hold her close and rub her back.
"You didn't do anything wrong."
>But she doesn't stop shaking.
>And, now looking at it, it's weird how much a little intimacy changes these two.
>You mean, one moment Vannie's punching catbirds left and right, and the next she's shaking like a leaf in your arms.
>Maybe they're scared of it themselves, or they really are just scared to displease you.
>But odds are that it's the former, 'cause you're no demanding person, you'd like to think.
>Nonetheless, you know just how to defuse this situation.
>You dip a little lower to her height and bring her in for her own kiss.
>The whole sh-bang, too, a little sideways so your nose isn't smashing into her muzzle, eyes closed and everything.
>She tenses up, then, just as her co-worker counterpart, she slowly relaxes, like putty in your hands.
>Honestly, you've always hated seeing people eating each other's faces like this in public, one because it's in fucking public, get a damn room, and two, because they'd always get into it.
>Like, you could hear all these disgusting noises that just reminded you of some retard sucking his fingers clean of apple sauce.
>But, now that you're here...
>You know how much you missed out.
>Plus, you're both completely silent, so it just proves that everyone else you've seen doing this are savages.
>Though, maybe it has something to do with the fact that you're with a pony-
>You're thinking to hard about this.
>But you also can't stop yourself.
>Your mind's just running a mile a minute.
>There's no tongue or anything, but what you're feeling is almost indescribable.

>>29363154
>As with Brave, the racing of her heart against your own is the most noticeable feeling.
>The warm fuzziness of her body pressed against yours, on top of the heat already in the tub.
>You continue to rub her back, but stop yourself from going any lower.
>This goes on for about a few minutes, until you both part.
>Vannie just stares at you, eyes wide, blush on her face and ears standing as straight as can be.
>"I...I..."
>...You think you might have broken her.
>She stares past you, that same expression just sitting on her face.
>You pause when the sound of water moving around makes itself known.
>Brave's on the way.
>You rub her ears, then jump back into the cover of bubbles.
>"Vannie?"
>There's some silence.
>"...Vannie? What's gotten into you? Wh-what happened?"
>You can hear Brave breathing a bit heavily.
>"Oh jeez, what the hay is going on?!"
>That retarded smile comes back when you realize that this all just adds to the act.
>Slowly making your way through the bubbles, you quietly circle around the girls, until you know you're right behind Brave.
>Mission is a go.
>You slowly in the same way you did earlier, though keeping Jr down is part of your responsibilities this time.
>Finally, you spot more silhouettes, then pop out.
>-But all in an instant, everything changes.
>The second you pop out, a hoof makes its way around and smashes right into your face.
"-FUCK!"
>You instinctively hold your face, until you realize that you just got decked by Brave.
>"-ANON! OOOH, I'M SO SORRY!"
>She broke your nose.
"W-what does my face look like?!"
>You move the hands from your face, and Brave winces.
>Vannie finally blinks and scans her surroundings.
>All she's met with is you holding your blood fountain of a nose, while Brave rests her hooves all over you, apologizing profusely.
>Out of all the outcomes you thought of here, you didn't think this would be one of them.

>>29363162
hehe
He was asking for it.

He needs to ask the girls if they got a pony equivalent of a tampon he can use to stop the bleeding with.

>>29363162
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hYDYrdiYX8

>>29363154
>>Like, you could hear all these disgusting noises that just reminded you of some retard sucking his fingers clean of apple sauce.
my sides

>>29363162
Jeez, what kind of reaction is that? Control yourself you little horse.

>>29363162
>broken nose
That is your punishment for attempting to treat a disgusting bat as if it is worthy of love and affection. You did well by showing your disgust at its inital kiss attempt but then blew it.

Brave is merely showing you the err of your ways.

>>29363833
>The prices he must pay for being one of the luckiest Anons ever.

>>29364514
Sweet!

>>29363154
>>29363162
sides? never heard of them

>>29363162
>Sneaking around a high strung mare guard, ever
and this kids, is why you never try to goof around with a mare that has super guard senses.

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>>29364514
> Fleur de Lis as a Royal Guard now operating in a "secret service" type position guarding nobility VIPs
> Plays the "arm candy" role because literally nobody looks at a trophy wife
> Regularly reports on or personally breaks up assorted plots originating in Canterlot's backhanded politics
Why do I like this idea so much?

>>29366070
Because its cool as shit? She would be like a female James Bond.

>>29366070
Because there was a fan comic with a similar premise?

>>29366116
>female James Bond
>how to kill interest in two seconds

>>29366128
Link?

>>29363162
>"Wait, Anon, wait! I can fix it!"
>Brave holds you still and moves your hands away from your nose.
>Before you can ask what the hell she's doing, she puts her hooves on it and-
"GAH!"
>"-No, wait! I didn't put it back right! Let me try again!"
"-AAAH!"
>"There, I did it!"
>Your hands and face are just covered in blood.
>You got stabbed TWICE, and there wasn't even this much blood.
>...Though you're sure that's because it was all inside of you.
>But STILL.
>Brave keeps putting her hooves all around you.
>"I'm sorry Anon! You're okay though, right?"
>You meekly nod.
>Note to self, never try to sneak up on Brave.
>Ever.
>You dip your face into the water and watch it all turn into a dark red.
>At least it's a big tub.
>Vannie finally makes her way over, instead of looking on like some amused bystander.
>"Are you alright, Anon?"
>You nod again, then get rid of some more blood.
"My fault anyways. I didn't expect this one to have black man reflexes."
>"S-sorry..."
>You wave a hand and make it back to where you remember putting the cleaning things.
>Well, might as well finish up, now that you're even more unclean right now.
>The girls kind of just stand there in the water, until they see the shampoo bottle in your hand.
>They quickly make their way towards you, like you're going to take them out for a walk.
"My face doesn't look that bad anymore, does it?"
>It sure hurts pretty bad.
>The girls kind of stare at you for a moment.
>Brave moves up against your side.
>"You're still handsome Anon, don't you worry about it."
>-Well, now you're even MORE worried.
>But you try your hardest to push back images of what you look like.
>Instead, you just get more shampoo, and go back to idly lathering up the girls' manes.
>With this much mane to deal with, you know the last time didn't do much.
>...You probably look like a Jew, now.

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>>29366823
Top kek.

>>29366823
>>29366823
>I didn't expect this one to have black man reflexes.
>>...You probably look like a Jew, now.
toppest of keks blu

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>>29366823
>>...You probably look like a Jew, now.
Oy vey, shut it down. The goym have found out.

>>29366823
Why so racist? You need to learn to check your white male privilege.

>>29367699
SHITLORD

>>29328449
Do you have a paste, perchance? I was foolish and didn't save it

>>29367969
As a matter of fact I do.
http://pastebin.com/ay5VL8wu

>>29367699
LITERALLY SHAKING

>>29368995
LITEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>29367699

apologies once again
i looked back at my spitfire story and ended up reading for a while

even though the writing seems terrible now, it got me weirdly invested in everything

i dont get it

>>29368224
shame the pic wasnt finished. even a recolor of the careful one would be nice

>>29366823
>>29369793

and i just realized how much of a shilling faggot i sounded saying that
i didnt do it on purpose i swear to yas

>
>The bleeding seems to have stopped, finally.
>Not that these two seem to remember what happened a few minutes ago.
>They're too busy nuzzling and enjoying your fingers.
>Every time they lean into your hand you swear there's a pain in your heart.
>You never thought it was possible like this.
>They're both sitting on your sides, looking like they're your exotic pets bought with drug money.
>You comb their manes with your fingers, trying to make quick work of Brave's mane and getting rid of tangles.
>Seriously, the more time you spend with her, you swear she's probably some Greek goddess turned pony or something.
>The bright white coat, sensual voice, bright green eyes, the long mane...
>It's all coming together now.
>Soon though, their manes are nice and squeaky clean, and you put some conditioner down on that.
>Gotta keep your girls at their softest, you know.
>From their manes to their coats!
>In fact, now thinking about the opportunities- being able to cuddle a lot, not having cold ass armor against you...
>Man, you're just excited about this!
>A whole new world of opportunities here!
>You must say, even dealing with those catbirds was worth it to be here.
>For it to all be over.
>Nothing to deal with but yourself and your mares.
>Feels good man.
>You put a bunch of conditioner in their manes, because it's not like you use this stuff normally anyways.
>Plus however you got here, it slowed how fast your hair grows.
>In this whole time, you've only grown enough facial hair to match a thirteen year old.
>You've kept it short, so short it's been for years.
>...Thinking that out loud makes you feel you need to see a doctor.
>-But let's not focus on that.
>Vannie's resting her head on your side, cooing while you rub her mane.
>Brave's leaning onto your hand, eyes closed with a smile.
>Let's focus on these two.

>>29366514
It starts here: https://derpibooru.org/737929?q=the+secret+life+of+fleur+dis+lee

>>29370567
ew gross theyre still bathing in blood filled bathwater

>>29371699
Goddamnit, cockblocked by a broken nose.

Plus Anon is gonna need a healing spell or he's gonna have two black eyes and a crooked nose.

Once again testing the waters of interest. I'm wondering if I should continue this story I started a while back. Looking for critiquing and what pace should be set for it. Here we go again.

>Be sitting quietly on a rustic old wooden stool, staring blankly at a cup of murky yet still water.
>Your favorite paintbrush swims and waits patiently to be picked up to create life and limb.
>Lines and strokes of warm orange and aged grey mar the surface of a once blank canvas in a subtle dance attempting to illustrate… a pathway in Autumn? A sunset? Could be either…
>You lost inspiration an hour ago or so and your flank is getting sore from doing absolutely nothing for so long.
> Sighing out loud, you get up, stretch your unused wings, and trot over to your comfiest cushion in the living room overlooking Canterlot proper and flop onto it.
>Looking out your loft window into the main thoroughfare, nobles meander about in a seemingly meaningless directions. Only once in a while does a small patrol of guards walk past, that same irritatingly blue plume adorning each one of their heads.
>Remembering this, you brush a tuft of the same hue hair from your face. Who needs to deal with bedhead on a day off anyway, even if company was expected. It’s just one of those days.
>Following the worn cobble streets with your eyes, you find yourself gazing at an actual sunset, one in which is broken ever so slightly by the grasping silhouetted tendrils of bare trees in the distance.
“Why can’t I imitate that?”
>You huff while gesturing with a hoof. Sighing once more, your slump down, resting your chin on the floor, eyes still to the horizon.
>If only you could regain that… spark, fire, gear turning inspiration.
>You’ve been painting since you were a filly and have been able to find something to drive you to create.

>>29371941
>But this level of monotony is crushing.
>If only something would happen! To bring some kind of spark, flame, flash, explosion?
>No, was that a real explosion in the distance?
>You get up quickly and look out the glass to the distance. Out in the trees you were just looking… something happened.
>Your guard mare instincts kick in and you begin looking around for your sword to attach to your…
>Lack of armor.
>This isn’t your fight right now. You breathe and calm yourself. Maybe Aegis or Brave will be able to fill you in later. They are on shift today.
>Taking another breath, you move towards the glass and slide it open. Stepping out onto the balcony, you see no indication of anything actually happening in the valley below. Everypony else seems unperturbed or showing any indication of seeing what you just saw.
>Bringing yourself down, you take a moment to take in the cool fall air. It’s comforting. Maybe this is why you started painting something seasonal. The windows were open earlier but have since been closed due to small bugs.
>Lost in thought, a voice calls to you from below.
>”Emerald! Please don’t tell me you just NOW rolled outa’ bed.” A brown coated mare with saddlebags over her back looks up at you with a small smirk on her face.
>”And please don’t tell me you forgot about your mandatory dietary assistance get-together.” The smirk turns to a full on smile, now repressing a laugh seeing the red blush spreading violently across your alabaster cheeks.
“For the last time, stop calling it that! You make me sound like I have a problem!”
>Your glare does nothing to deter her but does garner the look of more than a few confused passerby’s.
>”You do though! I truly think you created the starving artist stereotype.” She fails to hold back anymore begins to laugh aloud.
“Look, just get up here!”
>You glance around and give every wayward pony a soul piercing look that sets their course back to normal, if a bit hurried.

>>29371945
>She continues in through the main base level doorway shaking her head. You turn back inside and close the glass door.
>Pausing a moment, you feel briefly along your physique and push tentatively in your cutie mark, a simple paintbrush with a green tip, stopped mid-curve in a stroke.
>She’s crazy, there’s nothing wrong with how you eat. Not twig thin and not “sad pancake”, just enough full and smooth pudgeage. How could she complain? You can’t and others certainly haven’t.
“She’s out of her mind.”
>You say, then turn to notice the gathering pile of takeout trash with half-eaten hay fries lying next to an empty bottle of dandelion wine peeking out of a toppled bag. You nod to yourself.
“Starving artist my hind quarters.”
>A quick, almost rhythmic knock is heard from the front door.
“Coming!”
>Be a guard mare for the castle itself, living in a modest apartment in the center of Canterlot with nothing more than a desire to protect this beautiful city and its denizens then capture moments of peace and war eternally with the strokes of a paintbrush. Through it all, happy as you may be, you want something more. A change of pace or something to break up the repetitive dreamscape of this idyllic town in an exciting and fascinating way.
>You quickly rush to answer the door, nearly tripping over your painting setup in your haste.
>Peering through the peek hole, you see the distorted and warped though familiar friendly figure of Staff Sergeant Scarlet Bloom.
>Promptly opening the door, she forcibly steps forward with a flick of her maroon hair revealing a sun dappled face accented by piercing hazel eyes gazing downward on you with a sternness not seen from the streets before.
>You step back giving her room as she addresses you.
>”Corporal Gleam! You are late on waking up and now opening the door? Explain yourself!”

>>29371949
>You snap to attention out of force of habit as being formally addressed. Your posture said you were prepared and at attention but your words found a way to escape you.
“I…! Uh…am, sorry ma’am?”
>The half-hearted response failed to ease the unexpected tension. Scarlet merely looks at you uninterested before reaching out a hoof.
>And ruffles your already catastrophic hairdo.
>”At ease you lagoon creature.” She says with a smile before walking past you to drop her things off.
“Gah! You can’t do that to me B! You know I take my job at least somewhat seriously.”
>”What part would that be,” She chided in a playfully jeering tone. “The whole ‘gotta dye my hair different colors because the others said so’ part or the timely 8 pm wakeup?”
>She looked around before huffing and clearing a spot on the cluttered table, not being successful in finding an open spot to place her saddlebags. Without giving a moment to retort, she continued.
>”If only you took care of this poor domicile as well as you do the citizens or as well as you paint, maybe then guests would feel a bit more welcome.”
>Grunting, she pushed the mountain in one motion giving just enough room to drop the bags.
>Closing the door and fruitlessly attempting to fix your hair, you join her in the room without a word in edgewise.
>”Lighten up would ya? I’m here to help!”
>You reclaim your cushion overlooking the streets and sit on it.
“No no, I’m glad you’re here. It’s just, today I thought I’d be able to get some painting done, but I really am having one heck of a block. Nothings flowing today.”
>The stillness of the room made it ever present that after Scarlet put her bags down, she was intently listening. No motion was made for what seemed like forever. In an effort to break the hated silence, you turn to your best friend.
“Do you know what I mean?”
>She had a thoughtful expression for a moment before beginning to walk over to you.

>>29371952
>”Though I can usually get out of a mood like that by cleaning up around the house, walking the paths of Canterlot and taking in the air while having small discussions with people I happen to pass, and even coming to help you. Really, for me, it comes down to getting something done.”
>A pause hangs in the air, as if she is piecing together thoughts.
>”Though for you it must be different. But, I mean, look Emerald!” She piped, gesturing at the array of hand drawn portraits and meticulously crafted paintings adorning the walls of most of the living and dining area.
>You look up to glance at a few: A modest and simple painting of an elderly couple sitting on a bench in a park, The Battle of Stalliongrad depicted a triumph unicorn holding aloft a red bannerette over sundered ruins of a once wondrous city, an abstract of an empty carriage in the middle of a vast field of wheat, and an ambitious rendition of an aged Princess Flurry Heart in armor squaring off with a minotaur, all delicately and maliciously designed and brought to life by your very own muzzle. And they go on.
>“You’ve created so many beautiful works of art! The Emerald I knew could pull inspiration from anything!”
>And it’s true you had. Equestria had it all: Grace and majesty, feast and famine, war and peace, Life and love. Endless moments just waiting to be captured by gentle flourishes of a simple oak stick. But lately? You’re not sure. Though it’s reassuring to have a friend that believes in such a silly hobby.
>“You done day dreaming? Come on you bum, get that rear in gear!” Her definitive and light hearted tone breaks you for the second time today from your mental moseying.
>As does two firm hooves lifting from between your forelegs, though she doesn’t stop there. She drags you like a sack of potatoes back into the dining room where she left her bags, all the while your wings attempt to right the awkward position, futilely flailing against her stomach.

>>29371958
>”Stop squirming, I’m ticklish!” She laughs. “Besides, this is your stop!”
>She drops you as the foot of a chair in the dining room, eyes wild from the unexpected elevation changes and physical mare handling. Earthponies…
>Now eye level with the floor, you spot dust and debris disturbed by the disruption of your tabletop sculptor of refuse.
>”Come on Em, I’ve got a number of custom cook books written up for you as well as ingredients to make the first item on the list, and I even brought…” She halts her excitement, seemingly with the re-realization of how messy the room and, by extension, the kitchen are.
>”First things first,” She proclaimed, obviously ready to begin, “We’ll need to tidy up a bit. This meets no standard of proper food prepping or living so we’ll need to pick up the garbage and clear off the tables, then I think there’s some paint that spilled, and hopefully we won’t excavate to clean your room, then…”
>You begin to tone out her droning on. Tss, she’s your best friend, former instructor, personal trainer, and now your mom. It’ll be a chore to listen let alone follow instructions. And you thought this would be a day off.
>”…And if I so much as see a single malt shake turned petri dish festering next to an ecosystem of stale clothes, you might as well as kiss that deposit goodbye girl.”
“But it’s military housing you…”
>This’ll be a long day, and the day is half over already. No sleep for your patrol tomorrow, that’s for sure. You pull yourself from the floor and prepare for an unintentional drill regimen.

And pastebin: http://pastebin.com/QxyZ3BfR
Hasn't been edited or touched since then, it's late, and I can't be bothered. Still, let me know if I should continue.

>>29371964
I'd be up for moar