Fimfiction thread: Now with 78.5% more god you guys can't

PAST SINS

BEST FIC OR BESTEST FIC

>>29274254
kys

>>29274271
kys

>>29274333
kys

>>29274333
nice trips

>>29274396
Check mine

>>29274413
Too early

Not even ten posts, and the thread is already shit.

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>>29274579
I think I can ""help"" with that.


>7dsj, book 4, chapter 20
This one gets two posts, because it's extra special (just like Berry Sue).

>it's an Equestria chapter
>80% of it is Berry Sue's POV
...but, by some miracle, it turned out not that bad. Shinzakura clearly wrote this with minimal input from BlueBastard, even though Raspberry Beryl is BB's OC.

So what actually happens? Well, we get off to a truly wonderful start with Berry Sue listening to some cool music on her FUCKING MP3 PLAYER. Which is highly classified for obvious reasons, but somehow it's okay for her to use it in front of random guardponies.

Eventually Berry quits fucking around and does her job, which is to investigate the destruction of some random village. Apparently some asshole burned it down and then ran it over with a glacier. Now Berry's here to look around, with two mages and 100 guards as backup. Also, for some reason everyone important is a ponified EqG Shadowbolt (Sugarcoat and Sunny Flare are the mages, Indigo Zap and Sour Sweet lead the guards).

Everyone runs around doing stuff, in both the destroyed town and the one with the refugees. Eventually the guards find something useful, so Berry gallops over from the other town using her amazing mudpone-tier endurance. First, the guards say they've figured out that whoever burned 100 buildings to the ground and then summoned a huge-ass glacier used a really big spell. (No shit?) Oh, and by the way, down in the gem mines below the town there's a freaky crystal pillar covered in red-and-black runes.

This, by the way, is the main reason I think BlueBastard was not involved: Berry is less of a sue here than anywhere else in the entire series. She's still snowflakey as fuck, but other characters get to be useful, rather than Berry figuring everything out on her own because she has a very good brain. In fact, she basically does nothing important in this entire chapter.

>>29274718
Now back to the show. Nobody has any idea what the fuck is going on, but not all is lost. Berry Sue's special and unique green phoenix Heliodor (and by the way, don't forget that green phoenixes are ultra rare and will only bond with someone who is pure of heart) arrives just in time. And guess what? He's just finished learning the "flamefax" spell from Spike! How convenient is that?

Even more convenient, "flamefax" is good for more than just sending letters: Twilight promptly uses it to ship Berry some kind of steampunk astral telephone, so Berry and her pet mages can dial in to the dreamscape and coordinate with the M6, Luna, and Bon-Bon (who as far as I can tell is mainly here so there can be drama about her hiding her secret agent status from her BEEEST FRIEEEND).

Eventually one of the mages figures out that someone is attacking towns to get access to gem mines - eight of them, specifically, in a big circle around Canterlot. It's probably Tirek, but somehow news of his escape is classified above even the M6 and Berry Sue's levels (but not Bon-Bon's - go figure). Anyway, they all see that five towns have already been attack and three remain, so they plan to send a group to each one. Also, the pet mages get promoted for no reason I can determine.

Cadance and Shining Armor go to the first town, but arrive too late.
Twilight and friends go to the second town, but arrive too late.
Berry and her mages go to the third town, but arrive too late. Also, their airship gets shot at, and is going down in flames when we get to the CLIFFHANGER ENDING.


Crazy shit as usual. I really don't know what the point is of having this increasingly elaborate Equestria side plot, on top of all the other elaborate side plots in this fic. I just hope for next chapter we get back to the normal Sunset / SIRENs dramafest, even if it does leave this cliffhanger unresolved.

>>29274718
>>it's an Equestria chapter
>>80% of it is Berry Sue's POV
Is it even worth asking how?

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>>29274718
>>29274723
I know it's been a while, so I'm probably just forgetting but...
What is the plot of this story? As in, waht is the ultimate goal?
I think I remember something about sacrificing virgins, but that is it.

>>29274859
It's a post-EqG1 "Sunset's redemption" type of fic. She's been taken in by Sciilight's family, and has been helping people out and slowly building a life for herself that doesn't center around terrorizing teenagers. Naturally, there's a bit of drama about her keeping secrets from her new family (who are planning to officially adopt her soon), such as the fact that she's a 30-year-old talking horse from another dimension.

Also, Sunset Shimmer (Human Edition) is still alive, just doing her own thing for now. So far Pony Edition doesn't know she exists, and vice versa.

Also, there's this guy Divine Right who's been sacrificing virgins so he can summon the "Black Unicorn", which will give him the power to take over the world. So far Sunset has no idea he exists, and vice versa. (Pony Sunset, at least. He has a sort of obsession with Human Edition, who is his cousin's daughter, or something like that.)

Also, the Dazzlings exist, but instead of being magical Equestrian creatures, they're Canadian super-spies gone rogue. They're part of the SIRENs, whose commander has sold out the entire organization because she can't get enough of the hot psychopath dick. The Dazzlings have at least met Sunset, which gives this more of a connection to the main plot than most other parts of this clusterfuck.

Also, some shit is happening in Equestria. Tirek is loose and apparently built a country-scale spell circle it's just like my favorite anime! to blow up Canterlot or something. And, of course, Raspberry Beryl still exists and is still a raging sue, as thoroughly demonstrated by this week's chapter.

Also, EqG Octavia (who's a major character, and Scilight's cousin) has gone totally bug-fuck crazy. This one really has absolutely zero connection to any of the other plotlines, aside from general-purpose drama mongering.

I think that about covers all the major plot threads.

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>>29275197
You know, for all the shit he gets. I have to admit Chink is consistently entertaining. A lot of things may change , but I know I can always rely on his branch of lunacy.

>>29275348
>I have to admit Chink is consistently entertaining.
Exactly. That's the only reason I keep reading this shit after all this time.

>>29274718
>>29274723
>steampunk
Oh my god that pissed me off so much. Who the fuck uses "steampunk" as an adjective? It's the laziest fucking thing I think Shinz has done this whole series. Why not say anything else? How about brass and wood, with tiny gears whirring all over it, or something with a modicum of self respect in it. Holy fuck. Shinz pisses me off with his writing ability far more than he does with his story-crafting lunacy.

>>29276030
>Who the fuck uses "steampunk" as an adjective?
I was about to say that was just me, and the actual story is a lot more descriptive. But it turns out the story really does use "steampunk" as an adjective.

> “Spike wasn’t sure, so he asked me to leave Heelee behind for a day so he could teach him the spell,” Raspberry explained. “Looks like it worked. Good thing, too, because it’s perfect for situations like this.” As the unicorn spoke, the flame turned into a strangely-shaped object, which a second later became an odd contraption of precious metals and crystals. As it clattered to the ground, the three mares noted that it looked like an orrery gone mad, a steampunk mishmash of copper, bronze and steel spokes, gears and switches, many holding either tubes of gas or large glowing quartz crystals.

> As the others stared with wonder, Raspberry explained, “This is an astralpresence device. It was one of the items that Sombra had been working on for the day he’d conquered the world – he’d need a way of keeping in touch with his generals and governors, right? Anyway, Princess Cadance had some mages in the Empire inspect the prototype and found that aside from its creator, it’s a normal magical device that runs off a neutral magic spell, so anypony can use it. The Guild’s artificers got wind of it and now they’re churning them out by the dozens. Twi suggested that we field test one, so I had her send one.” Heliodor pridefully puffed again and Raspberry giggled. “Yes, you silly bird, you were very helpful in bringing this.” In response, he flew over and perched on her horn, contentedly cooing. Ignoring him for the time being, she added, “To use it, it’s very simple – all you have to do is touch the crystals with our horns – or a wing or hoof if you’re pegasus or earth pony – and we’ll be operating in an astral form with those we’ll be conferring with.”

>2017
>still no good applemac fic that doesn't involve 'muh heat lol' or 'muh drama'
why are fimfic writers to shit and uncreative?

>>29276105
t. butthurt texas cowboy

>>29276105
in what world would incest not be the result of heat or drama?

>>29274718
>Sugarcoat and Sunny Flare are the mages, Indigo Zap and Sour Sweet lead the guards
I don't even know who any of these characters are.

>>29274723
>steampunk astral telephone
Is she trying to call a better author?

>>29276804
>what is fiction?

>>29277374
but incest is like the lamest subgenre of clop though. its rarely even portrayed as any kind of taboo in horsewords. might as well ask for some diaper, balloon, and/or folding in your fap fuel

why did darf have to loose his marbles and delete everything?

>>29276105
>fimfiction.net/story/313963

>>29277729
He probably had an epiphany about hiw autistic horsefiction is and was overwhelmed by shame

>>29277906
But he deleted the good stories, and not the shite ones.

>>29277984
the ones remaining were commissions. for some reason he didnt delete the ones people had paid for, so clearly he didnt just nut out and run. that was calculated

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I know I'm late to the party, but holy hell Fractured Sunlight was good. The writer had me invested the entire time. One of those reads where the ending stings -- I could have kept reading forever.

And the writing was fantastic. The writer knew what was important and never got bogged down in details. It was just clean, honest writing.

>>29278196
Yeah but it's an eqg story so zealous ponyfags such as myself have trouble even reading it

>>29277984
All MLP fanfiction is autistic, my friend

>>29278240
It's definitely worth the leap if you can manage it. EQG had already been growing on me for a while, and this only helped that along.

>>29278337
you are tainted now. EQG is only marginally better than anthro, and anthro is completely without merit.
repent! repent and vow to never touch such filth again

>>29278240
I only watched the first EqG movie when it came out, and I still liked FS.
I'm still butt-flustered about Sci-Twi being an objectively bad scientist despite being called a genius, but that doesn't really detract from the story.

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>>29278374
It's too late to help me. Save the others.

>>29277729
He had some kind of mental breakdown prompted by feelings that nothing he did was good enough and suchlike existential despair. (Did he mention having been institutionalized for a while, or was that some other horsewords author?) It seemed like a serious breakdown, and I hope he got professional help.

If dubs this is now /nyxfiction/

>>29278827
Not even close, nyxfags a shit.

If dubs this becomes /eqgfiction/.?

>>29278866
fuck you

>>29278827
>>29278866
If singles, we return to status quo.

>>29278904
if dubs it becomes /nyxshimglimfiction/

>>29278471
I do remember someone in the comment section of one of his blog mentioned he got institutionalised. Can't say how he may be doing nowadays.

>>29278948
Nyxfags confirmed for useless.

If dubs everyone ITT has to read Living the dream

>>29278977
well at least I'm safe. I've already read it.

>>29278977
If dubs Nyx is favored by Kek

>>29279006
Damn that's rough, off by 6.
[s4s] is losing its ways

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Riveting conversation, guys.

>>29279036
Thanks for contributing.

On an unrelated note, I'm 66 chapters behind on my reading so I'll go curl in my bed and do nothing productive all day.

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>>29279053
>66 chapters behind
oh no. whatever will you do to get caught back up?

>>29279079
At least I haven't completely given up yet

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huh. just noticed this.
whats the cause- a case of something being unlisted without being deleted, or just something xaq broke?

I'm out for awhile. try to not let the thread die again

>>29279969
from page 1? well better safe than sorry I guess...

>>29278196
Fractured Sunlight and Long Road to Friendship are the reasons why I first started writing EqG fiction, and the reasons why I'm terrified of publishing it, because I know it'll look like crap compared to those stories. At least with my clopfics standards are low so it doesn't matter if it's not that great, but any multi-chapter EqG fic is going to be compared to those two stories and likely to be found wanting.

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>>29280045
>any multi-chapter EqG fic is going to be compared to those two stories and likely to be found wanting.

>>29280045
>>29280064
What I mean is, just do your best and tell the best story you can at the best of your abilities.

>>29280206
Yup, that's what I eventually figured out. I do intend on publishing my story when I finish it, which at my current rate of writing should be by the end of summer.

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This story... This freaking story.
fimfiction.net/story/157329

There is something to be said about the quality of a story when you get invested in it to the point where you actively dislike the antagonist, and continue to root for them to get what’s inevitably coming to them as a result of their actions.

Not so much when you wish the same happens to the protagonist.

I picked up 'More About Time' because the synopsis looked intriguing. Twilight discovers an unfinished spell by Star Swirl, the Bearded, and decides to try it out, only for it to have unexpected side-effects.

Will this story live up to its potential and deliver and engaging and satisfying adventure? Make an educated guess.

I'm going to take my sweet time explaining why this is one of the worst stories I've ever read in all my years in FiMFiction, because this story has made me legitimately angry and I need to vent. Plus, it's not as though there's anything else going on in the thread.

>>29280789
Damn I read your first sentence then I read the description and I was pumper for a good story with an interesting premise, and then you bring my hopes crashing down like it's the second coming of Living the Dream

>>29280834
It's funny that you mention LtD, because not even when I was riffing that story did I scream at the screen as much as I did with this story.

>>29280853
Now I'm scared

As I mentioned, the story deals with Twilight finding a series of scrolls in the old Castle of the Two Sisters in the Everfree containing a series of incomplete spells crafted by Star Swirl the Bearded, one of which seems to be complete. The spell in question allows the user to go back to a previous point of their lifetime and change things while you sleep. After some initial testing, Twilight realises that she can use this spell to right certain wrongs throughout her life, and sets out to do so. But every time, she creates a diverging timeline, and has to figure out what consequences her actions have brought.

So, now that we have a clear idea of what the story is going to be about, what can be said about its execution?

Well, the time travel logic is solid, and that’s to be commended. The story itself is properly paced, the reveals are slow and reel you in, the alternate timelines are interesting, and you’re invested in how the rest of the girls are different now as well as wondering what are the full effects those alterations had in Equestria.

Oh, and Twilight’s characterisation is probably one of the worst I’ve ever seen in my years on FiMFiction outside of cringe-inducing self-insert fics.

You probably think I’m exaggerating, and that I’m just like the people who scream “Worst thing ever” about everything, but I’m really not. Sure, there will always be those stories where Twilight makes really questionable choices, or acts out of character, and those peaks probably beat any particular action Twilight makes in this story.

What stands out about ’More About Time’ is how consistent this problem is.

As in, halfway through the story I already expected Twilight to make a terrible decision every time, and she went on to do exactly what I imagined she would do.

>>29280885
You don't know true fear yet.

Kek loves Nyx

>>29281044
Took you long enough

>>29281013
More?

Rainbow Dash, eat your heart out, because this Twilight manages to keep bouncing the idiot ball on her head for a whole seventy-seven thousand words. While some bad decisions can be chalked up to shock, disorientation, or even nervousness early on, as the story progresses it becomes harder to justify her actions (or lack thereof, but more on that later).

I have to mention this right off the bat before getting deeper into the analysis because this permeates just about every aspect of the narrative. I mean, this is a story where Twilight has to deal with time traveling, we’re going to be following her for the entire duration of the story.

Anyway… Let’s stop beating around the bush and get to the meat of the review. What does Twilight do that I find so objectionable? Why don’t we start at the beginning.

During the prelude, Twilight finds the aforementioned spell hidden in the old Castle in the Everfree and proceeds to cast it immediately. “Somepony eventually has to look at these spells”, it may as well be her!

Did you know that this story started almost exactly a year after ‘Magical Mystery Cure’? We were only halfway through season 4 at the time, so you know the memories of that Gordian Knot of insanity were still fresh, so one has to wonder what made Twilight forget about what happened the last time she cast an unfinished spell by Star Swirl the Bearded and the effect it had on her friends.

>I only thought about what risk I was taking for myself. How could I have been so stupid to forget that my magic can affect my friends too

Yes, how indeed.

>>29281216
Oh, believe me. This is going to be a long ride. I just don't want to fill up the thread with this review in a single go.

>>29280789
Quit posting these shitty links. Leave the http: on so it's clickable (or "highlight, right click, open in new tab"-able). And leave the title on so those of us who don't have all 300,000 story IDs memorized can tell what the hell story you're talking about.

>>29281422
It's perfectly clickable for me
Maybe you should stop using shitty browsers

But fret not, because she quickly makes her way back to Ponyville and makes sure her friends are alright. After a quick heart to heart and a joyful group-hug, she comes back home, goes to sleep, and we’re treated to this little nugget of wisdom at the end:

>She adored her friends, but while, logically, she should have been willing to smile at the thought of not losing them, the fear of almost losing them kept her frowning as she fell asleep.

You may want to hold on to that thought as we go deeper.

Anyway, chapter 1 starts with a rather dry recap of the prelude, and we find Twilight in the dreamscape, where she’s recalling the night Spike burned her astronomy book, way back in the latter episodes of season one.

Once the Twilight from the current timeline (from now on referred as Prime!Twilight when applicable) inhabits the body of the Twilight from the dream, she realises what’s happening and prevents Spike from burning her copy of "Astronomical Astronomer's Almanac to All Things Astronomy".

Then, Prime!Twilight realises this isn’t just a dream, but she’s actually in the past. As she tries not to lose her mind, she reflects on saving her book was actually positive. After all, the loss of this book meant she couldn’t use it as a reference when she was trying to write those astronomical papers for Astro-pony Quarterly. She laments that she never got around doing that, and now that she’s a Princess, she probably never will have the time for that.

You can probably see where this is going. When she wakes up, she finds out she managed to finish those papers and submitted them in time, which in turn means she’s now a published astronomer! All is smiles!

Oh, and Owlowiscious no longer exists.

>>29281422
Sorry. I only did it to remain under the 2000 character limit. Though I did end up removing a paragraph or two anyway, so I probably should have fixed that.
How do you get clickable links? The only ones that work for me are the embedded YouTube links.

>>29281422
It's already clickable, and if you had bothered at the post or even just the pic you'd have seen the title of the story

>>29280045
I have to to read Long Road at some point. I've heard nothing but good things about it, although I doubt it will top Fractured Sunlight.

>>29281640
They're both really good, but Long Road is a little less great towards the late middle of it, while I felt that Fractured Sunlight was a rollercoaster of emotions until the end.

>>29281656
Long Road is a slow cooking tale about Sunset's redemption and her relation with each of her friends, so the pacing feels more relaxed and is less of a sense of hurry to it compared to Fractured Sunlight, which is half the length of LRtF, and is focused more on Sunset and SciTwi's relation.

>>29281453
Sure, he’s probably flying around somewhere in Fluttershy’s cottage, but he’s no longer Twilight’s pet/second most faithful assistant. Since the only reason Twilight was working so late the night she met Owlowiscious was so she could finish that paper in time, but now that she had her reference book, she didn’t have to pull an all-nighter, so she didn’t meet him.

>After looking through the scrolls, Twilight found herself frustrated. She now understood just how incomplete this spell really was.

Seems like the kind of thing one would try to analyse 'before' casting a spell, even more so considering this is the second time such an event has happened.

Right now, let’s stop for a moment and think about the implications of what we’ve seen so far.

A change as small as preventing the burning of a book caused not only the alteration of Twilight’s professional path, but also the disappearance of her animal companion. Who knows what could have been different had Twilight stayed in the past for more than just a few minutes.

Remember, this is a Twilight that has gone through both the events of ‘Magical Mystery Cure’ and ‘It’s About Time’, so she’s well aware of the dangers of messing with time travel and incomplete spells.

>>29281255
>Using time travel as a light meme without thinking about the gigantic impact it can have on the entire world unless you're into multiverse alternate timeline shit
>By Twilight

Is there any good time travel fic which actually shows competent scientists considering all the risks and using it carefully instead of going full stupid for selfish reasons?

>>29281923
Broken Symmetry
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/301077/broken-symmetry

I love that fic, mostly because a good chunk of it is spent figuring out the mechanics of time travel.

Basically, Primer with ponies.

>>29281923
Considering Twilight seems to be one of Equestria's top scientists, and that they're still in the time period where "Inventors" hardly consider the sciences or at least the scientific method, it likely wouldn't be considered for writing by a member of the fimfic community. A published author on the other hand...

>>29281453
>How do you get clickable links? The only ones that work for me are the embedded YouTube links.
There's a "Linkify URLs" option under the miscellaneous section of the 4chan inline extension settings. It seems to work only on complete URLs though. So http://fimfiction.net/story/25148 works, but fimfiction.net/story/25148 on its own does not, because the latter is missing the protocol portion. Firefox uses the same rules: if you highlight a complete URL (including protocol), then the right-click menu will include Open Link / in New Tab / in New Window options.

>>29281923
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/248094/feedback

>>29281936
Great fic, but the ending was absolute bullshit. I was extremely disappointed.

>>29281768
So, knowing that this spell has given her something she always wanted at the cost of her pet, what does the Princess of Friendship do?

>And if I cast it one more time, I bet I could get this right.

That’s right! Cast the spell again, because if a small ‘correction’ caused so many changes, further changes will surely have no repercussion at all.

She even has to go behind Spike’s back to cast the spell, because she knows he’d tell the Princess about it, which raises another question.

Why isn’t she telling Princess Celestia?

Sure, I can understand her desire to be the first to examine Star Swirl’s spells, because her hunger for knowledge is part of who Twilight is. However, she has now seen the effect this spell has, she has seen the negative outcomes that come from changing the past. Shouldn’t she tell the Princess that she found a caché of old Star Swirl spells? Old, incomplete spells?

But I suppose the rest of the story has to happen, so she casts the spell again with the intent of bringing Owlowiscious back, but as she falls asleep she thinks back to Rainbow Dash’s love for books and dreams herself back to the day the pegasus broke her wing and got hospitalised.

So, to recap. Twilight realises she’s dealing with an incomplete spell about which she doesn’t know the mechanics, process of how it works, or any other side effect. She casts this spell going behind the back of not only Spike, but also Princess Celestia. And because she doesn’t know exactly how this spell works, she accidentally dreams herself to another point in time she was not prepared to change and will have no way of knowing what things will change further down the timeline.

Did you get all that? Good, because the questionable decisions keep coming and they won’t stop coming.

>>29281940
>where "Inventors" hardly consider the sciences or at least the scientific method

I dunno, I doubt they'd have the level of magic and technology we see in the show without scientific method, although you could say magic's ridiculous OPness has stagnated all their technological advance.

>>29281977
While there’s some initial disorientation as to where she is, it soon becomes clear that is the time Dash had her accident and the whole reading debacle happened.

So, now that she’s realised she’s in the past, in a moment in time she’s not prepared to face, and knowing full well that anything she changes will have serious repercussions in her present, what does Twilight do?

Why, she saves Rainbow Dash and prevents her accident, of course!

She said she was acting purely out of instinct and fear at the moment, but she had already realised she was in a dream. She saw herself as a unicorn walking up to the hill from where Pinkie Pie and Rarity were looking at Rainbow perform her tricks. She saw herself, as an alicorn, merge with the unicorn Twilight and take her place in the dream/past, so how can she not be aware that this is exactly what had happened before?

Remember, she originally set out to bring Owlowiscious back, she in no way was prepared to change anything about Rainbow Dash’s past. You may say that this is why she acted out of fear, but I think it’s actually the other way around. She is not prepared to deal with the fallout of changing Dash’s accident, so there’s all the more reason to let things unfold as they did because, once again, she’s aware that she’s in the past.

I should move along, we’re only halfway through chapter 2, and we still have a lot of ground to cover.

So let’s cut to the chase, how has Rainbow Dash’s life changed thanks to Twilight’s intervention?

She’s now a Wonderbolt and is in a relationship with Soarin!

Oh, and she never developed an interest in Daring Do, so she never dragged everyone half-across the world to help Yearling write her next book, and never helped her thwart Ahuizotl’s plan, although thankfully that was sorted out without causing a thousand years of blistering summer heat. What a lucky break huh?

>>29282249
It’s at this point that Twilight should realise these time altering quests are far more dangerous than they’re worth and should inform Princess Celestia as soon as possible.

>But if I tell her she might tell Celestia and I'll have to undo all this.

You don’t say.

Anyway, Twilight confides in Applejack about the time-altering spell, focusing on how great it is that she’s now a published author and Rainbow is a Wonderbolt, while conveniently ignoring Owlowiscious and how close they came to having to deal with a millenia-long heatwave. (Whether or not Celestia couldn’t simply undo Ahuizotl’s efforts is besides the point, by the time something is done about it, there’s no way of knowing the damage that could cause not only to Equestria, but to the whole world)

Ever the voice of reason, Applejack mentions that “Changin' history. It just ain't natural.” Which is something Twilight should have honestly have learned already. She also mentions a little nugget of wisdom, courtesy of Granny Smith:

>These things happen for a reason, deary. I know this is hard, but hard times should help us remember who we are, not make us question it. A pony doesn't get her cutie mark and then lose her destiny.'

It’s true! It is our decisions who shape who we are, all of our past experiences and decisions contribute to the person we are in the present. Sure, everyone has at some point thought about what they would have done different in their lives, but you say that with the knowledge of what those decisions have brought. Changing, or even sidestepping the harsher moments of your life may seem tempting, but they also serve to strengthen our resolve to work for a better future.

It’s 'forward' we should be facing, not backwards.

So, how does Twilight react to this?

>I need to make sure I'm careful on my next trip. I don't want to make anypony else's lives miserable when I try to help them.

>>29282471
I think it should be obvious by now why I’m dedicating such an extensive rant piece to this story.

Since it’s going to take a while for Twilight to learn her lesson, let’s check how Rainbow is doing.

So, as I mentioned, she’s dating Soarin. He happened to be in Ponyville during the week Rainbow would have otherwise been hospitalised. They hung out, she showed him some of her stunts, and he put a good word about her with the Wonderbolts, which sped up her acceptance process. Not too long afterwards they hit it off and start a relationship.

Of course no relationship i s without its problems, so Rainbow Dash has a little heart to heart with Twilight where she tells her about her insecurities regarding her relationship and Twilight does a good job in reassuring her.

These moments, and I think chapter four in general, are a welcome respite from the barrage of questionable decisions that have comprised the meat of this story so far. Rainbow Dash remains in-character when discussing her feelings for Soarin, and how she feels she’s not good enough for him. I don’t care all that much about SoarinDash, but as I read this, I genuinely believed these two were in love. All in all these scenes are the highest point of the story.

Do you know what’s curious about high points? What follows is usually a steep descent.

>“After talking with Dash, and thinking about Applejack's past, she thought she'd found something she could change that would help her friend without negative side-effects.”

>>29282660
Yeah, let’s leave the fate of Equestria up to the whims of chance and hope everything turns out well. It worked for Ahuizotl, right? Then again, it’s not as though Twilight paid any mind to that issue which kind of makes things worse.

Think about it. Twilight’s first incursion to change the past led to her losing Owlowiscious, and now that she did it a second time, she doesn’t bother to find out if what she has done has caused something bad to happen

Nothing obviously negative has happened, so that means everything is rainbows and sunshine!

But yeah, without a second thought, Twilight casts the spell again and makes it so the Apple Family strike a deal about cider manufacturing and distribution with the Flim Flam brothers.

It’s hard for me to criticise this action since, as much as I liked ‘The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000’, I never got why the Apples and the Mane6 never tried to turn the brothers around to the path of friendship. (Unless, of course, you ascribe to the theory that the Apples intentionally produced a limited batch of cider each season as a mean to artificially control the supply and keep the prices up, but that’s a topic for another day.)

Anyway, as soon as Prime!Twilight wakes up, she finds out there are a few subtle differences from what happened the last day. Mainly, she told Rainbow Dash about the time spell (in the previous timeline, she didn’t muster up the courage to tell her) and Spike sent the scrolls to Princess Celestia shortly after Twilight left to see Rainbow Dash.

Oh, and the Apples are now one of the richest families in Equestria.

But let’s focus on that Princess Celestia bit, because it’s important. Twilight flies to Canterlot, where she’s informed that the Princess took the sensible approach and assigned a team of scholars and magicians to examine Star Swirl’s scrolls. While most spells were indeed unfinished and didn’t work, one in particular was finished. One guess as to which one.

>>29280789
>>29281013
>>29281255
>>29281453
>>29281768
>>29281977
>>29282249
>>29282471
>>29282660
>>29282846

so you didnt like it?

idiot balls, poor decision making, OOCness, and general stupidity are things to be expected from fanfiction.

If I had made a 7000 word rant about every stupid, poorly thought out piece of fan fiction ive read, we'd be on thread 578 instead of 178 by now.

>>29282943
Are you pleased with this post?

>>29282846
While analysing the dream/time spell, they discovered it needed alicorn magic to work.

Long story short, Princess Celestia laments how in his latter years Star Swirl became so obsessed with his past, believing he could set things right if he only had the means to change certain moments in history, and how the discovery of this spell undermines all the long talks she had with him hoping to dissuade him.

>"It is true that looking through these spells of his has brought back much of the heartache I felt for Star Swirl. Yet I am not sorry that you sent these to me. Sometimes we may feel upset about our past - loss is always particularly painful - but a sad past does not prevent us from moving into a joyful future.

...said Celestia as Twilight was standing right besides her. Oh, but it doesn’t end there.

>"I am so proud of you, Twilight. How much you've learned. And more than that, how much you've grown! I am so grateful for your continued pursuit of what truly matters. You no longer seek things like magic and organization that crumble during the first signs of trouble. Instead, you seek the joys of friendship that last for a lifetime."

Surely now Twilight must realise that it’s time to open up to Celestia. Confide in her. Tell her that she lost herself in the delusion that she could choose what could and could not be when the truth is that it is [i]not[/i] her place to choose.

Right?

>"Thank you for believing in me." Twilight graciously said. Then she thought, But I'm more like Star Swirl than you might think...

…

So, the Apple family is now one of the richest families in Equestria.

>>29282943
Well, there's nothing else going on in the thread. I'm posting every half an hour so as to not stiffle any other discussion that may pop up, but nobody is discussing anything, and at least I'm having fun analysing the increasingly dumb new levels this story reaches.
Or would it have been preferable to make it a riff?

>>29283065
Their prosperity has expanded to the rest of their little town. Ponyville is now a more developed town with a bustling commercial activity, with a main street that wouldn’t look out of place in Manehattan.

That raises the number of ponies whose lives have been altered to: The Apples, most likely the rest of the Apple Clan, the residents of Ponyville, the Flim Flam Brothers, Filthy Rich and Barnyard Bargains, and Equestria’s economy.

But all and every single one of those changes was probably positive anyways, so let’s not think about them.

Once Prime!Twilight finds Applejack, she is shocked to see her usual kind and dependable friend is now more serious and business-minded, treating her with a somewhat cold demeanor.

When Prime!Twilight has no recollection of a certain favour regarding zoning areas in the neighboring land of Sweet Apple Acres (which is considerably more massive now) Applejack tells her off.

'Now' Twilight realises she’s changed fundamental parts of her friend’s personality, but before she can think that this might just prove that what she’s doing probably isn’t all that harmonious, they patch things up.

Also, this raises an interesting point that is in no way addressed in the story, so I might as well mention it now.

If we were to define a person (or a pony) as a result of their past experiences, then what exactly is Star Swirl’s spell doing? Is it changing the memories and personalities of the ponies afflicted by the alterations Twilight made in the past? If that’s the case, then it must also be altering the memories of all the ponies the afflicted ponies must have been in contact since the change was made.

Or is it literally rewriting history, and the original version of Spike, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack have ceased to exist while replacing them with these new versions? Have everyone in Equestria also been replaced?

How does it relate to Twilight’s destiny to become an ali--Oh, wait. No, wrong spell.

>>29283235 (You)
Anyway, this bout of existential horror is quickly deflated by Twilight.

>Even if she'd become more successful and had less time for her friends, that didn't make AJ different on the inside. She really is still my friend. I didn't screw that up.

And by ‘deflated’ I mean completely ignored. So, once again, let’s not think about it too much.

In the middle of their conversation, Applejack raised a very good question: Why exactly is Twilight doing this?

>Twilight smiled. "I wanted to do something for you. You've been such a good friend and I know how hard you work. I just wanted to give you the success you deserve."

Listen, I know the whole point of the story is to have Twilight learn that it isn’t her place to decide what is and isn’t good for her friends, but shouldn’t she already know all of this?

Wasn’t part of the lesson from Magical Mystery Cure that their destinies belong to noone but themselves, and one shouldn’t try to change that?

>“But her friends were happy.”

“I have drastically changed Equestrian history, and an untold number of creatures have been affected, but my friends are superficially fine, so no worries.”

Actually, now that I think about it, why hasn’t Twilight checked to see if the rest of her friends are okay?

>>29283065
>Or would it have been preferable to make it a riff?
NO. Keep doing what you're doing. Riffs always end up as these horrid walls of text full of unfunny jokes.

>>29283409
>(You) (You)
Ugh...That's why I get for forgetting the name.

>>29283424
I think the problem with riffs is that they end up being 20% genuinely poking fun at the problems of the story and 80% "I need to come up with something to say for these five paragraphs were nothing happens". Riffs canbe fun if they're done to highlight the low points of a story, or done about short stories, otherwise can be grating and uninteresting for the readers and the ones doing the riffing.

I mean, I don't think any of us would have followed Shinkazura's madness if the Anon who's reading it had made a riff out of it. Plus, he probably would have killed himself halfway through All-American Girl.

>>29283487
It's actually Shinzakura

Wow, my Chink Azura meme really spread.

>>29283409
If Rainbow Dash started her training to become a Wonderbolt around the time she had her accident in the original timeline, that means she probably wasn’t as free as she was to train the pegasi of Ponyville for the tornado needed to lift water to Cloudsdale, how does this play into Fluttershy’s ongoing quest to surpass a different fear?

How did the events of Just for Sidekicks play out if Owlowiscious was no longer there, and Spike still hadn’t worked through most of his insecurities?

If neither AJ nor Rainbow Dash were available, does that mean that the CMC never went on that camping trip where Scootaloo learned to admit her fears to others? What about the events of Apple Family Reunion, or Wonderbolts Academy? How is that different?

You may think I’m overthinking things that don’t pertain to the conflict at hand, but guess what. Since Applejack was too busy with tending her business, she couldn’t save Spike from the timberwolves and now he’s lost his tail.

Now we have an objective way to see that Twilight’s tinkering with time is causing measurable damage to those around her. This is the moment where Twilight should realise the folly of her ways, apologise to her friends, and come clean to Princess Celestia in the hopes that they can figure out a way to undo all of Twilight’s meddling.

So, of course, she decides to fix things on her own.

>“She started to work on that train of thought, but shook her head. I can worry about analyzing this later, she thought. After I fix all of this.”

I just wanted to note that not analysing things is precisely what got her into this problem in the first place. But hey, when has Twilight Sparkle been known to overthink things?

So, she goes back to save Spike from the timberwolves and feels content about how “there shouldn’t be any negative side effects this time.”

One guess as to what happens next.

Here’s a hint: We’re only on chapter eight of an eighteen chapter story.

Good news.

I'm stopping for the night, because I have to wake up early tomorrow.

I'll probably just make a blogpost once I'm done with it, or something. But let me know if you want me to continue this nonsense. I was really only doing it to vent my anger and let the thread have some activity instead of a bunch of bumping.

>>29283487
Completely agreed.

>80% "I need to come up with something to say for these five paragraphs were nothing happens"
This is the main reason I do one post per chapter for AAG/7DSJ, or even one post for 2 chapters if nothing interesting is happening. So far I've done 13 posts for 20 chapters of 7DSJ book 4.

>Plus, he probably would have killed himself halfway through All-American Girl.
Uh, yeah. AAG + side stories is 865k, and 7DSJ is over 1.1 million. There's no way to do those riff-style.

>>29280064
Can you do a version of that being realsitic, with the preference of the person actualky veering to the better cake?

>>29283487
>80% "I need to come up with something to say for these five paragraphs were nothing happens"
If you can't come up with a comment for 80%of a story, then its possibly not as bad as you make it out to be.

whats fucked up are the ones that you can comment on every single sentence.

but then you have to consider, if you can comment on every little thing, should you?
if zaid had commented on every niggling little thing in LtD, then the commentary would have had a higher word count than the story itself. then theres just repeating yourself. there were plenty of 'were gonna get raped' moments in LtD, but how many of those can you comment on before it becomes stale, unfunny, or you run out of shit to say about it?

>>29283619
>There's no way to do those riff-style.
there is, but you'd be better off with a handful of people instead of one guy getting burned out on it. plus this would be a terrible format for it considering character limits. an AAG riff would fill a few dozen threads on its own with no other posters

>>29283487
>80% "I need to come up with something to say for these five paragraphs were nothing happens"
That barely happens. I've posted quite a lot of riffs here now, and if there's a point in the story that isn't worth pointing out and doesn't have any plot significance, I just don't mention it.
However, the situation is usually that I have more lines to comment on that I leave out for the sake of keeping the riff brief-ish.
There was points in waiwai where I decided that I just had to let some things slip by uncommitted because I'd never finish if I didn't. If there's just 20% wrong with a story and the rest is okay, I'm not going to bother post about it.

Is there any way to do market research on the general fimfic readership?

Because I'd like to see some programmer come up with an automated fanfic generator that writes up instant feature-bait. That way, I can use it to get horsefic dosh on Patreon without putting in the work.

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>>29283754

>>29274242
what would say is the best erotica fimfiction has to offer?

>>29284374
The American Bronies forum.

The drama is more fappable than even the most upvoted clopfic.

>>29284374
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/51703/salvation is one of the best stories on fimfiction period, and it's written by Cold in Gardez so you know I'm beong sincere.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/2851/like-fine-wine is one of the classic erotica stories and has aged quite well.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/143516/moonstone is written by the guy who wrote Archmage, and has a couple of the same flaws, but overall it's a great example of a healthy BDSM relationship between characters with unequal power. It was written as a rebuttal of Fifty Shades, attempting to prove that one could take the premise of Fifty Shades and write a good story out of it that presented an accurate and healthy view of BDSM, and in that respect, I believe it succeeded. Not the greatest story, but it's not like there's a plethora of great erotica out there either.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/99526/her-majestys-secret-service is a romcom with some very hot sex scenes. The romcom aspects of it are entertaining, funny, have interesting characters and character development, and provide some good worldbuilding about sexual mores in Equestria. Would definitely recommend. The author hangs out around here too, so he can probably tell you more about it.

The very first story I ever read on Fimfiction is https://www.fimfiction.net/story/18815/octavia-takes-the-bus and that was over four years ago. Seeing this thread made me go back and look at it again. Good times.

>>29284463
>teen, AU, sad, tragedy
why in the hell would you decide to start with that? and presumably continue reading horsewords?

>>29284949
>why in the hell would you decide to start with that?
No clue honestly. I think I remember seeing it recommended somewhere, decided to check it out, and then just kept reading because it seemed interesting.

What's wrong with it?

>>29284957
Alternate universe and tragedy for your first taste off horsewords just seems an odd choice

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Need help /mlp/

I was trying to find the fic Sweetie Belle's Nightmare (pic related) but the author has deleted it off fimfiction. I tried Wayback Machine but the only snapshot is of the "Confirm you're an adult" page. Please, has anyone backed it up or saved the raw story on pastebin or something?

I wish artists wouldnt do this, they move on from the fandom and are ashamed of their work so they delete it before moving on.

>>29285404
its probably in the archive. who wrote it?

>>29285404
There you go, first (and only) result for "sweetie nightmare":

https://fimfetch.net/story/162979/sweetie-belles-nightmare

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Wow I just realized the archive has stats.

>261,464 Stories Indexed
>2,075,243,567 Combined Words
>To read all of these stories, it would take you: 27 Years, 27 Days

Yep, we've collectively written and published more than two BILLION words of My Little Pony fan fiction on the Internet.

I don't know if I should feel pride or cringe.

>>29285786
>tfw I have read 2% of all words on Fimfiction

>>29285841
You've read 41.5 million horsewords?

>>29285845
It's not that hard. I've read 35 million and I joined the fandom late and have had a few dry spells where I didn't read much fimfic.

>>29285845
More than that, probably, since I read quite a bit in the pre-fimfiction days. My fimfic total is 39.7 million.

>>29285848
>>29285850
It is pretty hard
I think I've read like 20 million at most, and I read a lot

>>29285856
40k words a day isn't that hard to do if you read a for a couple hours a day. And over the course of 3 years you should have read over 40 million.

>>29285862
When I'm really into a story I can read the whole 100k words in a day, so if you're a complete NEET you can probably go much higher still

>>29285862
I know 40k words a day isn't hard, but I usually also read things that aren't horsefiction

>>29285863
Yeah, I've done 250k in one day when I had absolutely nothing else to do. If you're completely unemployed and have no social life or hobbies, you could probably rack up 65 million words a year. You would also be an extremely sad individual, but it's not like we're in any position to judge life choices.

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>>29285877
>I usually also read things that aren't horsefiction

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4.5 months worth of reading spread over 4+ years? not difficult at all

>>29285897
3840 hours over 1460 days. That's only two hours a day.

>>29285932
feels like more. unless youre as good at math as I am. 23 weeks is definitely not 4 and a half months

>>29285890

isn't this backwards? shouldn't dashie be like 'psh nohands/10'?

>>29285950
That's not how misanthropy works, silly

>>29285943
I ignored the months part and added up 22 * 168 + 6 * 24. You're right it's not 4.5 months.

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I don't deserve what I have.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRCXdhiGjoI&feature=youtu.be

I should die.

>>29286009
>I don't deserve what I have.
Neither does half of the word.
It's good to know you're still around.

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>>29286009

Holy shit, someone actually gave money to Voiceguy.

>>29286543
Believe me, I was just as fucking surprised when I found out.

I sent him my skype to thank him, but he never answered back.

>>29286543
I'm sort of tempted to sign up and give him ONE WHOLE DOLLAR.

You didn't ask for it and probably would be happier without it, but I'm back and I'm going to finish whining about "More About Time", because fuck that story.

>>29286649
Oh, hey. Congrats, voicey.

>>29286765
Shit, I'd actually be getting one dollar a month. after tax it's 91 cents every month.

>>29286782
I'm actually okay with that. Better than the bumps and shitposting

>>29286793
How much would someone have to give so you get a complete dollar after taxes?

Quick recap: Twilight gets a time travelling spell after getting brain damag. She proceeds to ruin everything for everyone.

>>29283596
Chapter nine opens up with Prime!Twilight in a radically different timeline. She’s no longer an alicorn nor a Princess, she’s living in Canterlot and Rainbow Dash is her personal guard.

No, I didn’t accidentally click on another story, believe it or not there’s a reasonable explanation as to why this happened. Well, reasonable within the context of this fic.

First, we find out that while Prime!Twilight takes over her body in a dream, her past self enters a trance where she isn’t fully aware of her actions. This raises further questions.

If we designate the moment in time where Prime!Twilight makes a change in the timeline as “Point A”, and the moment she wakes up in the present “Point B”, then what happens to the Twilight who has lived in that reality during that time?

Prime!Twilight’s past experiences have made it clear that she’s not aware of the changes made to the timeline when she wakes up, so that means that the Twilight who has lived in Equestria from Point A to Point B has effectively ceased to exist the moment Prime!Twilight wakes up from her time-altering shenanigans.

Earlier I mentioned how the true nature of Star Swirl’s spell and its effect on the other ponies gave me an existential horror vibe. Well, now add what we just found out about Twilight and it gets even worse.

Prime!Twilight doesn’t know these ponies, nor this Equestria. Conversely, the Twilight the Mane6 and the rest of her friends know no longer exists. For all intents and purposes, this Twilight is an alien who has lost the last year of their lives.

She has just found out about Rainbow Dash is a Wonderbolt, how Applejack owns one of the largest agricultural enterprises in Equestria, how the Wonderbolts were disbanded after Celestia’s death, how part of Ponyville was destroyed.

Oh, right. Celestia is dead now.

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>>29286820

>>29286820
Like I said, just another dollar and I'd be getting a dollar and 70 cents every month.

>>29286845
Do you believe you're worth a dollar and change a month?
You do a bleedin readin every few once in a whiles. If anything you should be paying us.

>>29286841
Since Twilight never ascended to Alicornhood, she couldn’t drink Zecora’s alicorn-only potion that let her look into the past and figure out the source of those black vines that took over the Everfree. As a result, the Princesses remained trapped and Celestia sacrificed herself so her sister could escape.

If I can say something positive--because otherwise, I believe my liver will call it quits--the scene where Luna brings Twilight up to speed with this, is very well done. You can really sense the pain Luna feels and how she blames herself for her sister’s death. It makes you care about her loss, and you wish there was a way to bring Celestia back.

Hmmm…

Anyway, when faced with this revelation, does Twilight finally decide it’s time to come clean and ask Luna for help?

I’m ashamed that you’d ask that, you should know better by now. She goes moping around the castle, and when I say mope, I mean loitering around while doing some navel gazing.

>“So for a long while, Twilight sat in the gardens. She didn't think much and when she did think she kept her thoughts on pointless matters relating to what she happened to notice in the garden. For how long do lilies bloom? What are the distinctions between beavers and muskrats? She thought she might doze off once or twice, but that didn't happen either.”

I’m sorry, has she forgotten she can change the timeline? Or is it 'now' that she finally swears off her time-altering shenanigans? Well, no, she goes back to her old ways a chapter later, but that just makes me wonder what is the point of this scene.

>>29286893
Do you believe you're worth a dollar and change a month?


No, if anything I'm worth a pile of dirt and a passing glance.

>>29286841
>Time travel creates completely random and unrelated events

This is an even worst meme.

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>Long Road to Friendship
>Sci-Twi almost gets raped in the first chapter
>Shimmy fights off the rapists using kung-fu master martial arts shit
>How and why she knows martial arts isn't explained

Props to the author for putting himself out there, but this isn't very good.

>>29287068
The first few chapters are definitely the worst of the bunch.
The heart of the story really is Sunset bonding with the rest of the girls.

>How and why she knows martial arts isn't explained
It's explained much later.
She learned from YouTube.

>>29287058
It's almost as though most people heard that the butterfly effect is a thing, but never bothered to find out what it's actually about.

Fun fact, the idea behgind the butterfly effect only became linked with time travel after a novel in the fifties

>>29287099
You can say the same about most things related to time travel. People just tend to read their name and then meme them into a fic without any idea of how it would actually work.

>>29286999
I mean, she knows she has the means to save Celestia, and if she only sits down to think carefully about the possible impact her actions may have, she can minimise further problems.

But I guess Twilight can’t cast Star Swirl’s spell because she’s no longer an alicorn. I mean, where else would you find one? It's not as though there's another skilled alicorn nearby who could cast that spell. That spell that only works once a pony dreams. Boy, it sure would be great if we knew of an alicorn who could do that.

Hey, let’s ponder the lifespan of the mayfly.

Eventually Rainbow Dash and Soarin manage to snap Twilight out of her rut. Do they go see Luna?

No! They go see Rarity, who is living and working in Canterlot after the black vines destroyed Carousel Boutique. Don’t think about all the other ponies who also lost their homes and means of living, though.

>“So far every change in this timeline had been worse, but here was the silver lining in an otherwise ominous black thunderhead. Rarity has always loved Canterlot.”

Celestia is dead, Twilight is no longer a Princess, untold damage has been done to Ponyville, the cancellation of the Equestria Games has affected hundreds of lives, the Wonderbolts disbanded and joined the EUP Guard, the old Castle is in complete ruin, but at least Rarity is happy.

>"Wait, I've got it!" Rainbow Dash beamed and took to the air. "Princess Luna! She's an alicorn, right? So she's got alicorn magic! You can tell her how to do the spell. Then she can go back and fix everything!"

It says something when the most logical and sensible approach is suggested by Rainbow Dash.

Now that the obvious answer is out, does our main character in Twilight cloak follow it?

>Luna was so mad when I just mentioned Celestia. How's she going to feel when I tell her I'm the one responsible for her sister's death?

Yeah, I’m going to bet any anger she may feel will be eclipsed by the knowledge her sister can be saved.

>>29287123
Anyway, after a while of getting lost in self-pity, Twilight finally confesses the truth of what she’s been doing. (It only took 12 chapters!) Predictably, Luna doesn’t believe her, and asks for proof.

Now, I should note that every time after her initial trip, Twilight has cast the spell on her own, and even perfectly recalled it when she was talking with Rarity and Rainbow Dash. Therefore, she should be able to explain the mechanics of the spell to Princess Luna, as well as the effects she knows for sure it has.

Instead, she asks the Princess to come with her to the old castle to look for the spell, since she didn’t find it in this timeline.

Oh, but the next line is just priceless.

>That's my only real evidence. What else can I say?

How about the fact that you don’t know a single thing about the timeline you’re living in save for a few major points? How about you remembering things that obviously didn’t happen? Knowledge about the process of alicorn ascension? Letting Luna into your dreams and showing her stuff from the original timeline? Literally any of the options you could come up with if you invested a few minutes of thought?

But since letting an ALICORN who has a domain over DREAMS cast the spell that lets one travel back in time within your DREAMS isn’t an option. Maybe Luna can do it herself and succeed where Twilight has failed spectacularly over and over again. Still, she presents a question of her own:

>“A Princess leaving Canterlot for a full day could make quite an impact on the timeline. We may be trading one destroyed future for another."

Then take ten minutes to write a few letters and send them to Twilight. That was the very first thing that popped into my mind when I read this. Why is nobody thinking things through?

>>29284405
This nigger right here, is a super guy.

Moonstone is deffo worth a read.

Like Fine Wine is one of best clops out there.
It is also a kind-of sequel to http://www.fimfiction.net/story/1422/romance-reports, which is in itself an okay read (if you can get over douchebag Luna, and Twilight being blind to said douchebaggery) and has some steamy as hell stuff buried in there.
Twiggles & Cheerilee. Hooooboy.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/63534/address-unknown
Cute af Twilight x Derpy ship which kicks you in the feels a couple of times.
Probably not the "best" of anything, but I like that kind of thing. And you might too.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/190938/full-bloom
Rarity x Roseluck flirt-off.
I like this story. A lot.

>>29287330
>http://www.fimfiction.net/story/63534/address-unknown
I remember scratching my head at several points throughout this story, and I think the hidden meaning of Derpy's cutie mark was pretty dumb.
But fuck me if it isn't adorable. Definitely a recommendation from me, as well.

>http://www.fimfiction.net/story/190938/full-bloom
This has got to be one of my favourite sex stories ever. Both my heart and my boner recommend it.

>>29287306
Let’s just move on to chapter thirteen, which for some reason spends a good chunk of its intro making Twilight wonder if she’s crazy and imagined all the previous timelines, even though we know she isn’t. Don’t try to be ‘Believing Stories’, you'll just fail.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders make a brief appearance to remind us that they exist, but we never get to see just how much the diverging timelines have affected them outside of some brief thought Twilight has. Which, honestly, is a really big deal.

Apple Bloom belongs to a wealthy family now, Scootaloo hasn’t got the chance to become closer with Rainbow Dash now that she’s a Wonderbolt and now a guard. Sweetie Belle is probably back to living with her parents now that Rarity lives in Canterlot.

But I guess that’s not important, right?

Anyway, once they’re back in Golden Oaks, Discord appears. He’s sensed the time alterations and has followed them to its source, i.e.: Twilight.

There are many, many things I could nitpick about their conversation, but I just want to focus on one:

>"But you did sense that I cast a spell," she said. "And you knew that it changed reality."

So Discord knows she is the cause of all of this and that she did cast those spells. Now all she has to do is have him tell so to Princess Luna to prove that she’s telling the truth, have her tweak the spell with her alicorn and dream magic, and they can right all the mess Twilight has made.

But she sends him away, instead. Raise your hand if this surprises you.

Now, some thirteen chapters after she should have, Twilight starts researching about time spells and the nature of time travel.

>“they read hundreds of pages [...] Yet she had found nothing worth the time they'd spent.”

You and me both.

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>tfw DOWAS is kill

>>29287511
>She was certain that if she discovered why saving Spike changed Celestia's mind so dramatically it would allow her to uncover what was needed to become an alicorn. Or at the very least might convince Luna to try her spell.

How about letting Discord talk to her?

>That's all we are: A straw in the haystack. A fleck of dust in the wind.

This story has not earned the right to be nihilistic. Not when the answer is staring at everyone’s faces.

Anyway, the chapter then takes a tonal shift by having Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy come by to reassert their existence after twelve chapters of taking a bus through less insane places.

Twilight finally stops being emo for a few seconds so she can bring the rest of the girls up to speed. These scenes are pure fluff and while it’s a more welcome addition than Twilight’s brain flatlining every couple hundred words, it makes it all the more grating knowing they can solve this whole issue.

Later that day, after lots of failed avenues of research, Twilight remembers that Luna sent her a letter that morning. Luna sent her a letter. The only alicorn who can help her has sent her a letter and Twilight forgot about it. Twilight forgot about it.

Do I need to repeat it?

I’ll be honest, I really wanted to drop this story at this point, but part of me just wanted to see Twilight get her just deserts after ruining absolutely everything for almost everyone.

My patience is rewarded because Luna’s letter delivers a clear and concise “you screwed up everything”.

>>29287723
There's a sequel?

>>29287760
The sequel hasn't updated in 4 months. That's why I said it's kill.

>>29287743
She never met Owlowiscious, so Spike never learned his lesson about jealousy. Rainbow Dash never got in that accident, so she never discovered her passion about Daring Do and all that entailed, and so on.

But what really should be noted is that, while Celestia saw all this as signs that Twilight hadn’t quite reached the point where she was ready to become a princess, we should look at this from Twilight’s point of view, because she made all of these decisions a posteriori. She had already worked with Spike through her jealousy, she had helped Rainbow Dash enjoy reading, she had helped the Apples face the Flim Flam brothers, but not even once did the thought of undoing all that they went through crossed her mind.

This is great, and made me cheer for Luna, but it doesn’t make up for the fourteen chapters of gruelling agony it took to reach this point.

Afterwards, the rest of the girls start blaming one another in a way so grating I don’t even have the energy to recap it. Long story short, Twilight gets that same spark from MMC and realises that while she can’t use alicorn magic, the magic of friendship can work just as well.

So, just in case you thought Twilight needed to see the scroll in this timeline to activate the spell, somehow. No, she could easily recall the spell, have Discord back her up with Princess Luna, and then set out to fix everything.

I guess it makes sense to have Twilight be the one to right all her wrongs. I mean, I don’t want to, I honestly wish this Twilight the worst. But I’ll roll with it just because there are three chapters left.

Let’s pause for a moment and think about how can this whole debacle be fixed, because I have a proposal.

>>29287945
Twilight intervened in four key points: She prevented Spike from burning a book, saved Dash from her accident, got the Flim Flam bros and the Apples to work together, and saved Spike from the timberwolves.

I believe that to reduce the chances of creating more unforeseen changes, the best course of action is to travel back to the most recent change and let things follow their natural course, just like they did in the original timeline. Once the latest of this issues is solved, go back to the previous change and repeat the process. Remember that if she doesn't save Spike, Prime!Twilight goes back to being an alicorn, and should have no problem casting the spell.

Instead, Pinkie Pie suggests going even further back to an earlier point in the timeline and sidestep the entire problem. Spike then volunteers to receive a message from Prime!Twilight in the past and reveal it at the right moment to prevent the entire plot, because there’s no chance that could cause an even worse timeline.

Twilight initially refuses to place such a responsibility on Spike, but finally gets it through her thick skull that she shouldn’t be taking matters into her own hooves and trust her friends. It only took the complete obliteration of several timelines, as well as getting rid of her pet owl, changing her friends lives as well as the lives of thousands of residents of Equestria, endangering Spike’s life and indirectly causing Celestia’s death, but Twilight learned her lesson!

Twilight finally starts behaving like her usual self, and spares a moment of thought to the notion that once she corrects the timeline back to its original course, these versions of her friends will be lost. This does go back to what I said about whether or not the original versions of the Mane6 have also been lost, and even if this attempt at fixing the course of history will restore those versions, or rather create a new set of them.

But who has time for that, there is drama to be had!

http://www.fimfiction.net/user/hotpocketsaregood

>When you quit the fandom so hard you end up being offline for 47 years.

>>29288124
Fixing the timeline also means that Rainbow Dash and Soarin’ won't get together. But before we can really get to experience that sense of loss and grief, we’re assured they’ll still find a way to get together because Soarin’ already had some interest in her since they first met and surely they’ll find a way to get together

Everyone throws a farewell party and Twilight starts to feel guilty about robbing their friends of their futures, even though there is no reason why Applejack can’t search for and contact the Flim Flam brothers in the present, Rarity can’t eventually expand to Canterlot, and Rainbow can’t join the Wonderbolts.

Anyway, we finally reached the last chapter, so let’s wrap this up!

Twilight dreams herself back to the day after Nightmare Moon's defeat and makes Spike write a letter for herself at some point in the future.

Why isn’t she writing the scroll herself and then telling Spike to hide it, as to minimise the chances of him learning about the future and risking everything? Good question. Don’t expect an answer, though, because it’s time to see how Twilight’s plan backfires to the surprise of nobody but herself.

Since the story couldn’t end without Twilight making one last stupid decision, we find out that she didn’t tell Spike when to let her past self know about her message from the future opting to be vague instead, Spike told her the first time she travelled back and prevented the burning of the book that would lead to her meeting Owlowiscious.

How hard was it to stick a note that said “Do not open until Day X, Month Y, Year Z” and tell Spike to hide it until then?

Why does nobody think things through? It was bad enough that she didn’t go straight to the point with her message, but she also included such little tidbits as: “Rainbow Dash became a Wonderbolt - she even started dating Soarin'! And Applejack's farm became an Equestria-wide corporation more successful than you could imagine.”

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>>29288432
Still, she did mention the grave consequences her actions would have should she go down the same path. So, what does Past-Twilight do?

>"This letter shows me that I can change the world!"

It’s at this point I wished this story had a ‘Tragedy’ tag, because nothing I’ve covered so far compares with the way this story ends. Wanna know how?

Why, everything is set straight thanks to Past-Twilight planning things so they all go according to her master plan, of course! What’s that you say? That invalidates the lesson Present Twilight had learned throughout the entire story?

You don’t say.

So, as a final recap. Twilight’s conceit ends up causing the death of Celestia, changing the lives of thousands, endangering her friends, and who knows what more. And by the end of the story, not only is she not punished for this, but she saves the day by changing things further, and she’s rewarded for it! All her friends keep her positive changes, but now Celestia and Owlowiscious are back.

Twilight has learned nothing. And it has gone so far as to undermine other lessons she may have learned.

This has amounted to nothing.

Oh, and the epilogue has Star Swirl leaving that spell behind because he came to terms with his past, saying that “A pony would only wish to travel to the past if they had forgotten about the hope promised by the future.”

Gee, I wonder who could have used such a lesson.

>>29288280
I poked around a bit and found a few other accounts with the same issue:
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Cheddah
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Glida%27s+Ultimate+Fan
Looks like the "last login time" was at one point initialized to zero (meaning Jan. 1, 1970), so if you created an account and never logged in, it would stay at that value.

Here's the longest legitimate "offline" time I've seen so far:
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Funky+Flump
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/FRiNKEL
By the looks of it, they both created accounts the first day the site was open to the public, then never logged in again.

Another odd discovery is that someone has apparently taken the time to make a bot that sets up new fimfic accounts and makes spam blog posts:
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/AlejandroJorge/blog
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/AbdallaDakarai/blog
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/JamesVilliam/blog
I can't believe this is actually worth the time, but someone did it.

>>29288603
>I can't believe this is actually worth the time
It clearly isn't since those posts are getting single digit views, but I guess scammers are desperate

>>29285756
Thank (You)! And bookmaked site.

>>29288603
>tfw you will never the live the glory days of fimfiction in the early 70s

>>29288590
When you stumble upon moments in a story that make you raise an eyebrow at its logic, ask yourself what would happen if the opposite took place. What if Twilight had made the rational decision and shared the discovery of Star Swirl’s scrolls with Celestia early on instead of trying them out on her own without double checking them? What if she had taken the time to ponder the possible negative outcomes of her time alterations? What if she had simply realised she shouldn’t play chess with her friends destinies?

If the answer to any of those questions is “Well, if that’s the case there’d be no story”, then perhaps the author is letting see the traces of his greasy hands running the cogs behind the curtain.

Now, you can probably say the same of just about any story, but the skill of the author relies on hiding that fact and making it seem as though that’s how things would naturally develop.

‘More About Time’ fails spectacularly at that aspect. Every single conflict and setback in this story could have been avoided had Twilight devoted even a brief moment of thought about her actions instead of diving head first into a blunder.

I’m this flustered because I really wanted this story to be good, and for very brief moments I had hopes. I mean, just think of the premise. It’s ‘The Cutie Re-Mark’ minus the angst, over the top grim alternate futures, and lackluster backstory for a great antagonist. I would have loved to see this done well.

Alas, this story has just left a horrid aftertaste in my mouth. I think I may actually have yelled at the screen a couple of times…

I think the supposed moral of the story can be summed up with the immortal words of the Rolling Stones:

You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you might find
You get what you need

www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7leQB_Oe_k

Maybe I should have just linked that and save everyone thirty minutes...

>>29288631
So, uh...
I did what I probably should have done since the beggining and made this a blog post.
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/707897/

Sorry about that. Continue with your scheduled horsewording.

>>29288631
good what- rant? review? rantview?

>>29288631
At least you have good taste in music.

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>>29288862
Let's call it an argumentative whine and leave it at that.

>>29288878
I'll take that!

>>29288842
Excellent. Now there's a chance for the author to see it and reply with some whiny butthurt comments.

>>29288901
You say that as if you don't enjoy drama

>>29288901
Eh, neither of the other authors ever found out, and why would they care about what one sperg on the internet thinks?

Besides, even if someone linked him to the rant, he'd probably get bored halfway through.

page 10

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What do you guys think of going back and rewriting/redoing some of your old stuff? It feels dishonest: like you're setting an unrealistic image of yourself. Being able to look back at how a favorite writer has improved over time can be inspirational to new writers.

But on the other hand, some great story ideas can be wasted because of a lack of experience.

>>29290160
eh, I've thought about it
I had some good ideas about 4 years ago but I was even worse at writing then than I am now so all the fics from 2013 are cancer
I can't believe I've been writing horsewords for almost five years now
fucking end it

Do you guys have any reccomendations for stories about ponies with a voice in their head that helps them? It may be an odd request, but I just thought that would be cool and couldn't find anything myself. Thanks in advance.

>>29290160
>some great story ideas can be wasted because of a lack of experience.
which is why everyone says to start off with disposable one shots before you jump right into that epic saga of bullshit that you dream of doing

>>29290412
most people seem to go with colored/bold/italicized text, so thats undoubtedly the wrong way to go. do something else

[Pt. 1]

>>29278337
Like with FO:E, I just can't get past the initial premise or how utterly boring and cliche a high school setting is without some kind of myth arc or something to get it past the SoL.

>>29280789
>it's an "episodes rewritten" fanfic
>somehow it's on my RL list
Must have been back when I had no standards.

>>29281013
> one of the worst I’ve ever seen in my years on FiMFiction
Is it worse than that story where she went insane from homophobia, went on a murder spree through Ponyville that culminated with skinning Pinkie alive, then getting banished to the moon?

>>29283235
>an interesting point
Twilight's creating new timelines. She fucks around in the past, splits her timeline off into a new one, then when she does it again, either another version of herself stays in the previous timeline or she completely disappears from it.

At this point, there's four timelines: Canon, Owliciousless, SoarinDash, and Sweet Apple Acres Inc.

Or it follows Back to the Future rules and time warps reality to fit the changes that have been made and prevent a paradox from happening.

Either way, when you fuck with the timeline, the timeline's going to fuck with you at some point, thus causing you to try and reset it back to the original. I've seen enough sci-fi time travel cliches to know that.

>>29283596
>she decides to fix things on her own.
Reminds me of The Unity Saga by SfDebris which has Janeway going insane trying to go back in time and stop the crossover event that links the Star Trek and Star Wars universes together.

>>29286841
So, yeah. It's the standard "fuck with the timeline too much and have to reset it" time travel plot, only worse given how it ends with a "have your cake and eat it too" kind of thing that's completely unsatisfying.

[Pt. 2]

>>29287330
>get over douchebag Luna
Don't forget the Twiluna blueballing. I'll never stop being rustled by it.

>>29290160
It feels very much like going back and re-reading something that got a revision. In other words, boring. I could edit and tweak and redo every fic I've written--but it wouldn't be nearly as enjoyable as the first time I wrote it and very few new people would read it, so why bother?

Take the lessons you learned from your earlier fics and apply them to new ones.

Post the best pony fics you've read.

I would go with Tyrant. https://www.fimfiction.net/story/195493/tyrant.

It's a really short story, more a piece of meta-commentary presented as a story, as you can read in the author's note. It's not the writing itself that's interesting, but the ideas behind it, the hints about what's happened to Equestria. It makes me desperate to read some massive, hundred-of-thousands of words long fic about this version of Equestria.

>>29282660
>Rainbow Dash remains in-character when discussing her feelings for Soarin, and how she feels she’s not good enough for him.
How so? If you'd rather not go through just to find it, and I don't blame you, what chapter was this?
>I don’t care all that much about SoarinDash, but as I read this, I genuinely believed these two were in love. All in all these scenes are the highest point of the story.
So this a romance author who branched out to the wrong genre. There's probably a lesson here to be learned.

>>29282846
>(Unless, of course, you ascribe to the theory that the Apples intentionally produced a limited batch of cider each season as a mean to artificially control the supply and keep the prices up, but that’s a topic for another day.)
(((Apples,))) then.

>>29283065
>[i]not[/i]

>>29284405
>it's written by Cold in Gardez so you know I'm beong sincere.
Okay so besides Like Fine Wine, you're full of shit.
>It was written as a rebuttal of Fifty Shades, attempting to prove that one could take the premise of Fifty Shades and write a good story out of it that presented an accurate and healthy view of BDSM
Holy fucking shit. Well at least Her Majesty's Secret Service looks accep-wait a fucking second I recognize that cover art's artstyle. Lemme check the source.
>commissioned for a Homeshit
GODDAMMIT, WHY ARE YOU RECOMMENDING SUCH AWFUL SHIT, I DON'T CARE IF THE COVER ART IS UNRELATED TO THE FIC, FUCK YOU REEEEEEEE

>>29290412
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/4293/hoity-toity-gets-possessed-by-duke-nukem
Well, "helps." There's definitely an amount of bad grammar and accidentally'd sentences, especially on the final two chapters, but this was a very decent fic. It's okay/10

>>29290160
I'd think it's better to revisit a concept.
Say you have a one-shot you wrote back in the day, but now you've grown as a writer and would like to tackle the same idea.

Just write a new story with the same concept, and leave the first one as the original version.

>>29291272
>How so?
It plays to the natural insecurities Rainbow Dash presents in the show, and at the very least explores how that would apply to a relationship in an interesting way. I wouldn't call them amazing, but they were enjoyable enough, I remember I cracked a smile when Twilight did a smart thing for once, and worked with Dash to solve her feelings of inferiority and jealousy.

>If you'd rather not go through just to find it, and I don't blame you, what chapter was this?
It's the latter half of Chapter 4.
I actually made a rundown of events to properly analyse this madness.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rGjy5PfCBL7FDVFgkpFzob1HsY1Rv1R3_TsSPJiVcQU/edit?usp=sharing

>>29290758
>I just can't get past the initial premise or how utterly boring and cliche a high school setting is without some kind of myth arc or something to get it past the SoL.

Likewise. EQG is just dull. And what's with all the love for the fourth movie? It's the worst one yet. It takes forever to get moving, the summer camp setting is bland, and it's cringey as hell what with the one camp counselor macking on underage girls through the whole movie and being presented as one of the good guys.

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>>29291277
>mfw /fimfic/ is full of people who are almost as retarded as the general readership on Fimfiction

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>>29291701
>almost
It's nice to know you think so highly of us, Anon.

>>29291724
They can't string together a coherent sentence in your native language. You can. Basic literacy is something you can be proud of.

>>29291732
>in your native language
Or anyone else's, for that matter.

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I just caught up with Harmony Theory and holy shit it is good.
Everything just came together perfectly in one chapter, that fic has been running since Season Two and it still has no problem staying canon and coherent throughout.

That whole thing with failing to prevent the war sounds like a pretty thinly veiled mirror of the real world, but it gives some food for though. I don't know what I would do.

How does one unify two sides that truly hate each other?
You can't force them to like one another, and you separating them isn't a long term solution. Facts are useless against hate, and a rallying against a common threat isn't easy to pull-off in the real world nor guaranteed to work.
Society is hard.

With all this talk about time travel, didn't 7DSJ involve the most pointless use of time travel ever? Seems relevant somehow.

>>29288631
Thanks for writing whatever this thing was. I share your frustrations.

>>29292272
You're thinking of AAG.

> Lyra's human husbando dies in a plane crash
> Twilight has a spell that will let someone go back in time and switch places with him
> whoever uses it will remain in the past on the crashing plane, while Paul gets sent back to the future
> for various bullshit reasons, Bon-Bon volunteers

> Twiggles casts the spell
> instead of appearing on the plane, Bon-Bon appears before Faust
> "sorry kid, I can't let you fuck with the timeline"
> "but, since you're such a wonderful and selfless person..."
> Faust massively rewrites the entire timeline so that everyone on the plane survives

> everything is now exactly the same as it was before the start of this sidestory, except Bon-Bon remembers the old timeline

So basically, Faust break Da Rules and creates a temporal paradox because she thinks Bon-Bon is a cool person (note: the original spell would not have required a paradox), and the total effect on the overall story is exactly nil.

>>29292491
Didn't Sunset go through a mirror and spend a week in Equestria for a week only to return to humie land five minutes after she left?

>>29292513
Yeah, that too. As far as I can tell, the mirror portal just spits you out at whatever point in the timeline it feels like. Hence a unicorn from the pony equivalent of 3300 BC arriving only a year before Sunset. This is why Equestria chapters are labeled with "???" instead of a date: they don't happen at any particular Earth time.

>>29291277
I legitimately can't tell if you're objecting to me, or the artist I commissioned. Or both.

>>29288842
Hey Zaid, this was a good read, thanks for helping me waste my morning.

So hey /fimfic/,

I've got a new story I've been working on. It's finally at a place where I'm ready to post the first half or so, but I'm struggling to come up with a title. If anyone's interested in taking a look, and possibly has a title to suggest, here's a gdoc for y'all. I even remembered to enable comments.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1n5XGdG16wMh3TKGhPsDh1-Sxluki7aQhgF9okDutwKw/edit?usp=sharing

It's smut, in case you were wondering.

This is ostensibly a sequel to my first published ponyfic, Purely Scientific Interest, but it's not super necessary to have read that one. The only context you need to know from it is that Sparity is a thing, and that Rarity, Spike and Twilight all got together and fucked this one time.

Thanks jerks.

>>29292705
>I'm struggling to come up with a title
>a sequel to my first published ponyfic, Purely Scientific Interest
Mostly Scientific Interest.
No need to thank me, just give me 50% of the credit once you publish it.

>>29292751
We'll put that in the "maybe" pile.

>>29292705
Barely Scientific Interest

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6NBff1MyPE
Sun Princess by Skywriter
This is a sad story about a dog dying.

>>29292705
Very Little Scientific Interest

>>29292705
Purely Scatological Interest
Because it sounds like shit

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A few fimfics I've enjoyed.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/355528/touch-the-sun
Anon X Celestia breedfaggotry.
Decent on it's own but made utterly hillarious by the writing for Twilight "What are boundaries?" Sparkle. Ooc for sure, but I lold.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/1700/those-blue-wings
A fairly standard looking AppleDash fic. Better than it appears.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/327286/velvet-touch
Twilight Velvet babbysitting fic, which goes off the rails in short order. Everything goes exactly to plan; Velvet's
You'll need a towel for that brow.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/180008/the-rock-farmers-daughters
Pinkie x Cheese AU shipping.
I was hesitant at first, but I eventually ended up devouring it.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/134645/a-taste-of-the-good-life
OC x OC shipping and orphan Scootaloo. No, wait! It's not that bad come back...
This story is cool and good, gives your feels a bit of kick, and has some cute af moments.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/52953/without-a-hive
A lost changeling fic. Better than most, it has a decent buildup, enjoyable characters, an okay plot, plenty of feels, and an utterly heartwrenching reveal near the end.
Also has a sequel that ties up some loose ends (and plays with the rest like a joyful kitten).

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/152832/cheesecake-and-changelings
A Human turned Changeling fic. Some shipping, lots of casual violence and douchebaggery, all of it amusing.
I don't care if the author doesn't really like it all that much. I don't care if this thing doesn't really fit anywhere or make a great deal of sense.
I love this fic, and giggle every time I read it.
I am a literal child about this and I give zero fucks.

>>29293459
I can second a taste of the good life, and of course Those Blue Wings is great because everything Tchernobog writes is gold

>>29293459
>everything Tchernobog writes is gold
Does he still write? His latest story is from way back in 2014, and even then those were comparatively short.

I know he's still around, but has he lost the drive?

>>29293741
He's not been on fimfic for nearly a year and a half.
Shame. I'm following another of his stories that will likely never go anywhere.

>>29274413
no u

>>29293759
I'm a retard. Ignore me. He's still active just not doing much.

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>>29293759
>He's not been on fimfic for nearly a year and a half.
What?
Still, I know he has interest in pony, he's in a discord chat server with other FiMFiction people.

>>29293770
To late kitten. I already claimed my tardcrown here >>29293766

More fics.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/2365/allegrezza
The original Vinyl x Octavia fic.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/7176/triple-x
Amusing Lyra x OC.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/87607/twisting-between-the-sheets
RariJack silliness.

>>29293146
>>29287018
I believe that I would fund your patreon if you'd finish reading aforementioned and the two last stories already.

But, until then, I dont want to pay for something I already paid for.

>>29293803
>it's been half a decade since i read allegrezza

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>>29294086

>top of the featured list is an OC shit fic with 500 likes
Why do fimfic users have such trash taste?

>>29294215
Because they're 5-10 years younger than you on average.

>>29294215
>OC shit fic
Hey, don't sell it short.
It's an OCxAnon fic, so it's doubly worse.

>>29294215
most people who want good literature don't read fanfics
the vast majority of fanfic consumers are young or severely autistic (or both)
these people tend not to produce or consume the highest quality stuff

>>29294239
>the vast majority of fanfic consumers are young or severely autistic (or both)

Pretty sure it's almost always both for 80% of Fimfic, with 10% only autistic and 10% only young.

>>29294215
>>29294234
>>29294236
>>29294239
Are you guys talking about the prison one? Cause that was written for /mlp/. Says so in the bio.
AiE seemed to enjoy it too.

>>29294251
I'm here forever and undiagnosed, what does that make me?
The rounding error?

>>29294261
>AiE
So, severely autistic it is

>>29294261
>written for /mlp/
A sure sign that something is shit.

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>>29294262
You can probably self-diagnose with 50% certainty if you know you're very antisocial (antisocial because of wasted time doesn't count, being afraid to show yourself on the street level does) and are interested in a single precise subject madly.

Then congratz, you got aspergers.

There was that good test a while ago, where I particularly distinguished myself. Definitely not a diagnostic, but can help.

https://psychology-tools.com/empathy-quotient/

>>29294215
>3.6k word crackship romance oneshot in the feature box
I honestly feel viscerally disgusted

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>>29294280
>You can probably self-diagnose with 50% certainty if you know you're very antisocial (antisocial because of wasted time doesn't count, being afraid to show yourself on the street level does) and are interested in a single precise subject madly.
I'm don't think I am, though.
I don't have a very active social life because I'm too lazy and introverted to go hang out most of the time, but I get along fine with people otherwise.

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>>29294280
Have you been diagnosed as a sperg?

>>29294261
There's also a AryannexAnon fic in there.

>>29294452
>AryannexAnon
Truly the pinnacle of autism.

>>29294452
Why is knighty even accepting this kinda crap

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>>29280064

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>>29291196
Here's a great one that's lesser known nowadays (probably) . I had trouble tracking it down because it's not even on Fimfiction.

Memories of Those Friends Who've Gone Before Us
http://www.ponyfictionarchive.net/viewstory.php?sid=33
It's slice of life story about Twilight meeting a traveling bookseller who was friends with Golden Oak's old librarian, who died while the bookseller was on the road.

>>29294356
Not yet, but I highly suspect I am.

>>29291661
>And what's with all the love for the fourth movie?
Pretty sure the general opinion here is that it's the worst or second worst after the first one. Of course, there are the Gloriosa waifufags -- but waifufags aren't reasonable people.

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knighty is my hero

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Oh shit, I was not expecting this to update today. Looks like it's part 2 of Berry Sue's Excellent Adventure.

>>29295289
Wasn't that 3+ years ago?

>>29295289
I miss the pictures on the top. I think I had that exact one set as my default.

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>>29295386
Good things userscripts are a thing

>>29295401
>The Mare From Germaney
Absolutely disgusting.

>>29295511
I know, right?
Fucking horse puns

>>29295511
Indeed. It should be Germaneigh

ded thread ded life

I don't suppose anyone else here has read the Dear Sweetie Belle series?

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>>29296264
Do you think we can keep this going until 2015?

>>29296278
That doesn't sound familiar, what are they about?

>>29296264
How does it feel to be ignored constantly without any good feedback or quality discussion, now I know I'm not alone, and it fills me with nothing.

Not even Voiceguy replies to me.

It's just a constant hell.

@29296335
Bitter

>>29296335
How does it feel to actually contribute to discussion instead of whining about not having any?

>>29295308
Summary when?

>>29296278
Is that the one where Rarity tells Sweetie Belle she's actually her mother?

>>29296589
Maybe tomorrow if I get around to it.

It's another Berry Sue chapter, and actually I was pretty worried for most of it. For a while Berry Sue is gonna go through the mirror to join Sunset on earth. Fortunately she gets eaten by Tirek (in ANOTHER cliffhanger ending) before that can happen.

BTW, Sunset is literally Celestia's daughter. I'm pretty sure they neglected to mention that during the reunion parts back in Book II. Also, Sunset's the most powerful unicorn ever, beyond both Twiggles and Berry Sue.

>>29296313
>>29296601
2nd anon got it.

>nominate http://www.fimfiction.net/story/28883/the-strange-destiny-of-prince-blueblood for Tragedy
Tells the tale of Blueblood as he wanders the Everfree in search of self discovery, or death.
>end

Everyone quit posting crap and actually contribute to the list.

>>29296961
You know that the guy who runs the site needs to manually run his scraper on this page for it update, right?

>>29296987
That's lame. Is his source code available?

>nominate https://www.fimfiction.net/story/327720/the-mare-from-germaney for Tragedy
The tragey is that this was written.
>end

>>29296987
Hell it took me a minute to even figure out what he meant by nominate. That hasnt been a thing in years

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>>29296335
Bleeding, you idiot. Why do you keep coming here? People ignore you nowadays because you've constantly ignored the common sense advice that crackfics won't win you very many followers or upvotes. If you want those, write clop. The horny, brain-dead, autistic teenagers who read those will jack off to any gum-wad or cigarette butt you scrape off the bottom of a shoe, and they make up the majority of the readerbase.

If you're really desperate, you can make them anthro ponies, then buy some 50 cent porn story off Amazon and change all the names to make it related to the show. For added bang for your buck, take a porn pic off DB and crop out the NSFW bits.

And don't say you'd be too ashamed. If you had any shame, you wouldn't be so worked up about fanfiction for a Noregolian goat-herding cartoon.

>>29297264
Fine, clopfic ahoy it is.

Might as well.

Also, the whole horse words thing isnt the only thing, Ive pretty much failed at anything ive aspired to.

Its literal suffering.

>>29297303
Okay, cool. Just remember to make sure you don't put in any unpopular fetishes, and don't expect to make it to the feature box on the first try. You don't have a large enough platform to make it to the feature box without a considerable amount of luck, which you don't have. Using a new and/or popular ship might tip things in your favor.

[Pt. 1]

>>29290412
There's Miasma (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/194998/miasma). I wouldn't really recommend it, though, since it's a textbook grimdark oneshot, complete with edgy, sad ending.

Quite unfortunate, too, since fleshing out the Nightmare could have made it really interesting and much more bearable.

>>29291196
I didn't feel like Tyrant was that great of an evil!Twilight deconstruction. It didn't tackle any of the tropes or plot elements that make up the genre (dark magic corruption, government takeover, Mane 5 trying to redeem her, etc.) and I find it baffling that someone ruling so benevolently could lead to a decade long civil war.

There's also the massive Picard speeches that makes up it's later half and the weak rationale for some of the characters joining the rebellion (why's Zipporwhill or Fleur there?)

As for best:
The Lunar Rebellion (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/77470/the-lunar-rebellion) will forever be one of my favorites for it's paced storyline and blending of politics and war. If only the protag was better.

And Night's Favoured Child (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/5523/nights-favoured-child) will forever reign king of the deadfics for it's great worldbuilding and mystery.

>>29292705
Left a few minor edit comments and had to stop halfway through because of time, but it seemed pretty good. I'm not a fan of Sparity, so the comfy SoL stuff didn't hit as effectively as it could have, but it still seemed good.

No idea on the title, though. I would agree that some play on "Purely Scientific Interest" is the way to go given it's a sequel.

>>29294215
>Written originally for the Anon in Pone Prison threads on /mlp/
That should be "Why does /mlp/ have such trash taste?"

>>29295386
>install greasemonkey
>install Fimfic Advanced
>fuck Knighty's UI
It's as simple as that.

[Pt. 2]

>>29296335
You have to write something interesting (hint: SoL or comedy) for people to comment. Writing about a Tyson chicken farm or obscure bat pony fetishes won't have a huge audience because the people interested in those plots is limited.

>>29296961
Don't we actually have to finish the first list and resolve all the ties before we go through the overly complicated voting system again?

>tfw wrote an entire story outline, the most crucial worldbuilding details, as well as a list of themes and mood pointers
>tfw have a good feeling about it and want to begin writing
Now watch me tweak the outline endlessly before never actually writing anything of the actual story, and then feeling like a failure afterwards. Again.

>>29297328
>>29297362
Got it working now.

>>29297303
>bleedin
>clop
well he could probably corner the market on menstruation fetish fics
even though thats not a horse thing and im not sure how many cuntblood fetishists fimfiction has

>>29290607
> which is why everyone says to start off with disposable one shots before you jump right into that epic saga of bullshit that you dream of doing

I tried getting into writing horse words once and realized this pretty quickly after my attempt at creating a lengthy "epic" story failed. Ended up dropping the hobby because I just don't like writing (or reading) one shots and struggle with them.

Just wondering, any tips for writing one shots? I might try to doing those again. How do you come up with a good, short plot? How do you make it interesting? Any good guides on writing short stories in general?

>>29296335
Dude, if you're talking about the PM's on Fimfic, all you ask is when new readings are coming out.

Yes, you paid, and yes, it's fucked up that I've taken so long. But shit gets in the way that is more important than narrating your garbage. Family gets sick, I get sick, Computer gets busted, internet shits out, the holiday season, the fucking flu season.

Please excuse me if those particular things take precedence over reading "To Have Babies with your Baby."

But let me say, I've made a new years resolution to be more productive, and that means at least five videos every week.

>>29288631
Don't know if you're still in the thread, it has been a day and a half, but I liked these posts. They were entertaining, and better than the usual nyxfagging, or talking about Bleedin or Darf or the usual updated-once-a-day-for-the-last-four-years garbage fics. They were certainly better than the lack of discussion that probably would've happened without them.

>>29297868
You can write your longfics if you want. One shots require a slightly different skill-set from longer ones, so practicing longfics will be better at improving your longfic writing than practicing shortfics.

The advantage of writing one shots for practice is they're quicker to do, and there are far more reviewers who are willing to critique a scribble on a sticky note than ones who'll critique 300,000 words of literary potty training. But if you don't like shortfics, then you likely won't stick with a shortfic training regimen, so don't bother with it. It might be better to make friends with someone who's good at longfics, then have them review each chapter as you write them.

When should a story use the tragedy tag?

>>29298233
When it's something you should be putting in the garbage disposal instead of publishing.

>>29298233
When you misclick.

>>29298233
When it's not like this

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/196855/oneway-ticket-to-a-dead-end

>>29293146
>This is a sad story about a dog dying.

OR IS IT?

>>29297868
Think small. Aim for the action of the story to take place over a single afternoon or something like that. Instead of themes with the world at stake, just try exploring some tiny bit of head-canon you have.

>>29296987
I still have the code, if people want it I can set it back up. I have my own server now so I can make it update automatically too.

page 10

Is there a way to hide information about your main character from the reader without it being cheap?

Page 8

>>29300108
What kind of information, and for what purpose?

If you don't give any details, the only answer I can give you is "don't bring it up"

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[Pt. 1]

Congratulations to CarcinoGenesis on getting featured.

>>29297868
>any tips for writing one shots?
For comedies, think of a lighthearted plot that'll wear out it's welcome quickly (Fluttershy takes Dash to EverCon--an eldrich abomination convention--so she can learn more about the wonderful creatures there) and run with it for a few scenes (2-10k) before ending on a punchline.

The key is the plot has to be pretty straightforward, to the point, lend itself to humorous scenarios, and get boring or tedious if it goes on for too long.

For SoL, the emphasis is more on escapism--capturing a moment in the average life in the magical world of Equestria. So pick a plot that can really only happen in Equestria (Sweetie Belle learning about magic) or to specific characters (Dash waiting in line for the new Daring Do book). Again, a plot that should be shorter, which for SoL usually only means a single scene.

For darkfics, something suspenseful is best. The reader knows things won't likely end well since it's a oneshot, so play with those emotions. Build the dread or fear as it moves along until you hit the ending--where you usually punch the reader in the gut with some kind of horrible ending. Darkfics are supposed to rely on the atmosphere of the setting to drive it forward, but so often fall into the rut of gore + bad ending.

Romance usually runs three ways: clop, fluff, and sad. Clop is pretty basic. A simple, crude scenario to get the characters together to have sex. Since it's a oneshot, most of the fic must be devoted to the sex. Fluff = shipping. Fluffy, filler stories where characters engage in shipping. Fluttershy builds up the courage ot ask Dash out, Rarity has a monologue to herself while she watches Applejack buck apples, etc. And sad is usually like fluff, only the shipping is unrequited or ends on a bitter note.

[Pt. 2]

Overall the key is simplicity. The plots have to be simple and easily digestible. The scenes that make it up have to be short or only two or three long. And the reader has to be able to get through the thing quickly.

>>29298233
When things end badly for the protagonist, usually as a result of their own actions or flaws. The tragedy tag is supposed to be a warning to the reader that the story won't end well for the main character.

>>29300108
Depends on the info and how important it relates to the plot. Generally, you don't want to pull stuff out of your ass and present it to the reader, which means your best route is to either let the reader know something is being hidden from them or adequately foreshadow it's eventual reveal.

>>29300150
It's not pony, but in 2015 I read a fantasy novel called The Traitor Baru Cormorant. It is one of the worst novels I've ever read (outside of franchise novels, like Star Wars).

Basically, Baru is the governor of an imperial province for a fantasy empire. When a rebellion starts, Baru gets sucked into leading it. During that time she actively plans to kill the other leaders of the rebellion because she is still working for the empire, but the book intentionally hides that information. When assassins kill all the other rebels it's presented as this big twist. I love a good twist, but that nonsense made me fucking angry.

There was once scene in particular, where she's talking to this known Imperial super-assassin who is magically bound to serve her, and she says something like "I need you to do something" and then cuts away before we find out what it is. Arguably, since the readers didn't know she worked for the empire, we were suppose to assume she asked the assassin to kill an imperial spymaster who was working against the rebellion, and did die offscreen later in the book.

The whole twist hinged on the reader not understanding the main character or her motives, because some crucial information was hidden from us in such a cheap, transparent way.

But there's got to be a way to hide information the main character knows from the audience in a way that's not so stupid, I just can't think of any examples.

>>29300265
In short I think that you need to give a chance to the reader to suspect something, so when you do the big reveal the signs become obvious and they only have themselves to blame for not seeing through it.

>>29300285
Thanks for the advice, that's more or less the way I was leaning. Pepper in enough hints that something's going on, maybe enough that a reader could put together on their own. But I'd also want to ensure that the reader understood the character well enough so that when the reveal happens it's a "well of course she would do that" and not a "why?"

There were enough hints from the book I read that I knew what was going to happen, but maybe too many. I knew what was going to happen about 100 pages before it did. But then the author went and obfuscated things anyway.

>>29296758
Wait, as in ACTUALLY, came-out-her-rear, daughter? Wasn't there a whole bit near the end of book 2 where Sunset dreams about being orphaned by her birth mother because Faust was fucking with her dreams?

And why do I even remember this much?

>>29298086
I've done a few of these rants before, and as long as there are terrible fics, I'll probably keep making them.

I'm glad you liked it, Anon.

>>29300771
Seems that way. I'll reread part of Book II and see if I can find solid evidence one way or the other.

The thing about Sunset being orphaned might have been from AAG, actually. I know AAG Sunset had a shitty childhood, but I don't recall the specifics.

Regardless, it's entirely possible that Sunset was adopted. Shinzakura has a history of leaving out the finer details of characters' relationships. I remember some serious confusion when I was reading AAG, thanks to him dropping the "half" part of "half-sister".

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>>29301534
>I'll reread part of Book II and see if I can find solid evidence one way or the other.
That is how it starts.
Soon you'll have a real life version of this webm in your wall with little pictures, printouts of the story, and pieces of string connecting everything.

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>>29301549
Looks like you were exactly right about Sunset being an orphan, and Faust dreamwalking and all. But even after reading the last 5 chapters of book 2, I'm still not sure if Celestia is actually Sunset's mom, adopted or otherwise.

>>29301723
Wasn't that one side story all about how Celestia couldn't make Sunset her legal daughter, though? "A Mother's Duty" or something it was called.

>>29301804
Ah, that would explain it. I haven't read that one. Guess I should get on it.

>>29298029
Look voiceguy, it cant be all garbage right? Why are you exaggerating man.

>>29301856
Just checked, it's a short 3K one-shot so it shouldn't take long.

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>>29301858
Did you even read his post?
He's saying he had to deal with real life stuff.

>>29301883
Yea, I know, I just wish he at least tell me or contact me about why shit cant be done or etc.

I mean, it isnt hard to stay in contact.

>>29301858
>it cant be all garbage right?
no. there was that one time you listened to us. spike makes a sandwich or something like that.

aside from that one aberration, it is all garbage.

>>29302037
For the record, he once wrote a LunaxHuman story that, all things considered, didn't make me groan in agony.

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>7dsj: a mother's duty
"It's barely 3,000 words", you may say. "How bad could it possibly be?"

O YE OF LITTLE FAITH. Behold:

> Celestia forgets to lower the sun
This seems to be the go-to device for showing how emotional Celestia is feeling. Too bad it's absolute bullshit. Judging by the timeline given in "The Apple Tree", Celestia has been running the show for at least 4,000-5,000 years. If she gets this upset over Sunset being gone, how bad was the situation immediately after the fight with NMM? And why didn't the effects of that extinguish all life on Equus?

> Celestia slaps Luna for giving a perfectly reasonable perspective on the issue
Fucking seriously? It's "4,000 going on 14" all over again. Am I supposed to believe this is the most upset she's ever been? Or has she also been slapping and screaming at foreign diplomats on a regular basis for the past 4,000 years?

> unbelievably stupid adoption laws
Celestia has a chat with Twilight Velvet, during which Velvet mentions that she was unable to adopt Spike because of "Section 18, paragraph 2a of the Crown Adoption Law", which requires (as Velvet quotes, verbatim) that "only like shall adopt like" - "Unicorn shall raise Unicorn" and so on.

Let's skip right past the question of how such a law ever got passed. As soon as Velvet mentions it, Celestia immediately recognizes that this is a shitty law. Now, given that (1) Velvet wanted to adopt Spike, (2) Velvet's been friends with Celestia since before Twilight was born, and (3) Celestia has the power to change the law - why is it still the law? Did Velvet really never consider asking her good buddy Princess fucking Celestia if she might consider unfucking the country's adoption laws?


And finally, on the subject of our main question: is Sunset Celestia's daughter? Answer: no. Celestia had planned to adopt her, but Sunset ran off to earth first. Not that it stops Celestia from identifying Sunset as "my daughter" in front of a bunch of nobles in Book IV.

>>29302166
>Am I supposed to believe this is the most upset she's ever been?
Maybe she just hit her tipping point after having to deal with her feelings for that long? I'unno...
Also, now I kinda want to read a gangbang clopfic called "Seven Dicks in Sunny's Cunt".

>>29302263
>gangbang clopfic called "Seven Dicks in Sunny's Cunt".
Anon, you're a genius. The math works out perfectly: futa M5 + Scilight + Octavia makes seven. Then the M5 can hassle Sunset about being a horse / demon / former queen bitch of Canterlot High or something, Octavia can start out normal but then turn into a sex-crazed maniac out of nowhere, and Twilight can angst about how it's basically incest (but do it anyway).

You know who would be the perfect person to write something like this? Bleedin

>>29302263
>"Seven Dicks in Sunny's Cunt"
at the same time?

>>29302842
Eh, if she can take horsecocks, she can take seven teenage dicks.

>>29302858
yeah but thats just *a* horsecock.

sure it may be three feet long and thicker than a pringles can, but its just one huge cock attached to one body.

now if you try shoving 7 cocks, attached to 7 different people into one cunt all at once you run into a crowding issue. if this were weeb shit and everyone had tentacles it wouldnt be an issue, but in this case were talking average 6-8" dicks that are connected to larger than that bodies.

you might get two cocks in the cunt and another in her ass, but after that no one else is getting in there.

i like the idea of 7 cocks in sunnys cunt, but its not really plausible in eqgland

>>29302934
You put way too much thought into this.

>>29302950
i do that sometimes

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>>29302950
Since he hasn't arrived at a solution, he hasn't put enough thought into this.

The dicks themselves aren't the problem, but the bodies attached to the dicks. You get two penises inside the vagina, that means two bodies that already block access, how do you get a third person there?

Of course, the simpler solution is that everyone takes a hole/limb and they rotate as soon as someone cums inside.

So you'd have:

>Anus
>Vagina
>Mouth
>Hands
>Feet

For efficiency sake, it'd be better to use both feet on a single dick, the hands would work separately on different people, and that would leave either the vagina or the mouth to take two cocks as well. Just to keep the count of who cums inside, I suggest a double fellation.

However, this does sidestep the scenario of seven simultaneous salacious schlongs.

If we do want to run with the multiple penises at the same time, I guess an elegant solution would be to have one person do the fucking and use small localised portals to position everyone's dicks in the groin of the designated fucker (I propose either Applejack or Rainbow Dash due to strength and stamina, though they could also rotate) while the rest of the girls proceed to pepper Sunset Shimmer with affection and reassurance as she takes everyone's cock.

I don't know if my erection is due to imagining the scenario or due to planning the logistics, but I'm happy either way.

>>29302934
Well, the Seven Days don't occur simultaneously, so there's no reason the Seven Dicks have to either.

>>29303222
wheres the fun in that? besides Im sure there are already dozens of fics about sunslut getting railed daily from the man 5

boop

>>29300236
Thanks for the advice famalam

>>29298204
Thanks to you too, forgot to include your post num

> literary potty training

kek