You're offered a one time offer to move to Equestria by

>>29191288
>implying castration would stop anyone.

>>29191288
Couldn't she at least offer to turn me into a cute mare?

>>29191288
This is retarded and you're retarded.

Castrate yourself.

Also I'd be sure to take her huge horse clitoris with me if that's happening.

>>29191288
I would sneak an extra penis in my suitcase and take that

>>29191288
Jokes on her, I only get off by anal stimulation anyway! Not only that, but I still have hands to fiddle the fillies!

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>>29191288
I never wanted to permanently move too horse world anyway.
Visit maybe...but I just can't into all the huggery and bursting into song.

>>29191323
My nigga. I wouldn't be able to stand it. I'm a very isolated person as well.

>>29191323
Fucked it up.
too → to

>>29191298
Out of the question. You get snipped or you're staying here

>>29191288
Okay, so what is she going to do about all the fat hambeast women going over and raping colts and forcing themselves on stallions?

>>29191323
>>29191327
normals pls go

>>29191288
what if that is my fetish?...

your move sunhorse

>>29191334
Women can be castrated as well. The surgery is just more complex

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>>29191336
>normals
>disliking affection and spending time alone
>>>>>>>

>>29191337
It'd be the last and only time you'd be able to experience said fetish, and you'd be far away from her subjects while doing so, so she wins

>>29191288
I'd look Celestia in the eyes and tell that bitch to bend over.

>>29191354
And you'd be stuck in our world for the rest of your life

>>29191356
Don't give a fuck, as that was clearly not Celestia.

Much too out of character.

>>29191288
Demand to speak with Luna. She's bound to offer you a better deal.

>>29191288
Tell her to suck a fat chode for grouping me with them.

>>29191288
I understand that if I'm castrated, I'd no longer be a threat and the ponies will trust me and let me hug them all day. That's all that I want, so yeah, I accept. Bring the royal scissors.

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>>29191367
Two years of serving within her Elite Night 'Guard' cadre, which means you'll have to succeed through all the grueling training required to make it and serve active duty in places they don't officially exist.

Do you accept?

>>29191367
Magical permanent chastity belt

>>29191380
I accept

>>29191386
Too late Celestia.

>>29191390
And this is why she was sent to the moon. I bet next she'll allow in some Syrian rapefugees as well

>>29191323
this
well kind of i would move there but only if i could come back to visit earth i could never leave it all behind permanantly

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>>29191288
I would spit at her hooves for such a disgusting 'requirement.'

Absolute filth, I'd help her sister overthrow her.

>>29191380
yes

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>>29191408
Would she be worthy of ruling if she placed the comfort of foreigners over the safety of her people?

>>29191288
I accept because I worship ponies and only wish to serve them and service them orally if they desire it, my mouth is all I need.

Furthermore, I assume I will be a pony when I go there anyway....it's clear that humans become ponies when going there and vice versa

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>>29191390
>>29191420
Keep in mind it will break you, in both body and mind, only to build you back up as a powerful weapon to be used for the betterment of Equestria as a whole. You will cry in hopeless misery, you will scream in unfathomable rage and despair until your throat is hoarse, and you will either make it and become a protector of Equestria, or fail and be sent back home, all your effort and work thrown away and wasted.

Are you certain?

>>29191434
Compared to your average American drill sergeant it's probably pretty tame

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>>29191434
Oh, yes, let's take the rape machine and turn him into a weapon of war as well.

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>>29191450
>tame
She nearly shrouded the entire world in eternal night and killed all life, Anon.

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>>29191288
You think you can control me with a haircut?

>>29191288
Let her know I'm not a brony, so I'm safe.

I'd get someone change me into a cute little pegasus mare so it's not like I'd rape anyone

>>29191467
Once you're snipped I don't have to

>>29191458
Have you ever been through basic? Because that sounds pretty tame to me anon.

>>29191470
>Wants to go to Equestria
>Not a brony

>>29191473
You would be one of the first weeded out. Going in thinking it would be so easy, she'd make you regret ever thinking so.

>>29191434
darkest hour and custos luna are both dead so yes i need something to fill the void

>>29191288
Convince her that I will court one pony of my, while keeping the interaction romantic at best, instead of going on a rape frenzy, which as we all now know is impossible. And if things go alright, marry her and have all the sex and foreplay that I want afterwards

>>29191467
I got that reference.

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>>29191323
>>29191327
This.

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>>29191485
>t. never served in the military

>>29191741
unless you got in 40 years ago where people were actually dying from the harsh training conditions id say you dont have a ton of bragging room. they scream at you a lot and make you wake up early and work hard till after the sun has set. its basically like being raised on a german farm.

>>29191288
>Celestia looks down to castrate Anon
>"Oh, my apologies Anon. It appears you have already undertaken the process."
>microdicks and femanons get through unscathed

>>29191422
but in this case celestia is just being paranoid
the ponys will be fine

>>29191467
You fucking druggo.

>>29191288
>liking ponies is a bad thing in equestria

okay

>>29191763
Do not try to deny what we both know. Any visit to this godforsaken site is enough evidence of how much of a menace bronies really are to the inhabitants of Equestria

>>29191781
Pedophiles and parents both like children. I don't think the liking of the first is quite like the second

>>29191793
>implying the way people talk online is how they act in real life
i doubt 90% of the people here look people in the eyes when they speak to them.

>>29191797
so youre either a parent or a pedo?

>>29191798
It's always the quiet ones that are the most dangerous.

>>29191801
Or you love children without being a parent but aren't a pedophile or you don't care or you hate children. You know very well what I'm trying to say

>>29191804
i could burn the castle down...

>>29191819
If only there were flying beings in that world that could easily save everyone and magic that could easily rebuild it

>>29191288
You don't need your balls to fuck

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>>29191821

>>29191822
Without balls you could only bump your flaccid tiny dick against someone. I think most of the problem is solved. If it persists Celestia can always have you undergo another operation as well

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>>29191830
>After going through fingers, toes, the nubs of his wrists and where his feet used to be, and finally his tongue, Anon ends up as just a torso laying in a bed.
>He then resorts to raping ponies in dreams.

>>29191830
You don't need balls to have an erection either

>>29191830
i dont think you need testicles to have an erection you just have to rely on physical stimulation instead of mental stimulation.

after all even a baby can have an erection if its penis gets rubbed

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>>29191749
>t. never served in the military

>>29191847
Okay, snip snip. There it goes

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>>29191854
HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY WAS IN THE MILITARY!

HEY, PAY ATTENTION TO HIM, HE'S A BADASS WHO MADE IT THROUGH TRAINING!

WHY AREN'T YOU TELLING HIM HOW AMAZING HE IS YET?

I MEAN HOLY SHIT HE WAS IN THE MILITARY!

MAKE SURE TO TAKE NOTE THAT THIS MAN WHO I AM CURRENTLY REPLYING TO WAS IN THE ACTUAL MILITARY!

I BET NO ONE HAS EVER ACCOMPLISHED AS MUCH AS HE HAS! LITERALLY THE ONLY MILITARY MAN WHO HAS EVER LIVED WHO ALSO ENJOYS PONIES!

WHAT A HERO!

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>>29191288
>You!
>Yes you! Male who has never has sex with anyone or anything in his life!
>You're out of control and we need to cut your balls off to be sure you don't cause trouble.

I'm keeping my balls, I literally dindu nuffin and I don't even know what the hell I would be there for if I felt like a different, potentially shittier person, who no longer has any interest in any of the locals for any reason, wholesome or otherwise.

What's the point, I can be a miserable sack of shit right here, plus I have internet here. Do you have any idea how much sweet horse pussy is on here?

I'm starting to think relational databases were originally created just to hold all this horse pussy.

>>29191867
>never has sex with anyone
>or anything
go have sex with something right now, anon.

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>>29191862
wow dud take a chill pill
you're wrong on the internet, it's not a big deal

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>>29191871
It's 6 AM and I don't feel like it.
I never feel like it.

>>29191872
>wrong
i wasnt the guy you were arguing with, i just find your attention whoring annoying as fuck. theres the pat on the ass you wanted for all your hard work. you can fuck off now.

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>>29191867
Everyone knows virgins are always trustworthy

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>>29191880
>I'm gonna go on an imaginary shooting rampage because some imaginary girls that don't exist may have violated NAP by not confirming nor denying that they would go out with me.

It's a funny thought, but I'm too detached and apathetic for something that hilariously stupid.

Besides, they don't have guns there, what would I do? Hug ponies to death?

>>29191895
You have 1 gun. And Celestia wants to take its ammo

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>>29191877
>i wasnt the guy you were arguing with
even if that's true, you just end up making fool out of yourself
whatever

>>29191895
they might not have guns but they have bows, slings and cannons

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>>29191895
kill them with your bear hands

>>29191908
its funny we know they have slings but we never saw any in the war timeline

>>29191906
so hows your first day on the board? cant help but notice you havent used a single pone image, and the images you have used are new.

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>>29191905
If you mean literally then who cares, she can have it. If you talking dicks no way.
>>29191908
How am I going to go on a proper rampage without high capacity arrows?
>>29191909
Id rather just cuddle them, I don't like hitting women unless the circumstances are extreme.

>>29191922
We both know what we're talking about

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>>29191926
Look m8, the only way she is getting to my balls, and the arrangement would by no means be a permanent affair.

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>>29191929
Fucking hell I fucked that up. let me try that again

Look m8, there is only one way she is getting to my balls, and the arrangement would by no means be a permanent affair.

I should go to sleep.

>>29191931
How would that even work?

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>>29191933
Magic

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>>29191922
so you don't deny that you have bear hands?
>there are bears and probably skeletons posting with us right now

>>29191946
at least captcha keeps the robots out

>>29191944
Fine; Once in awhile you get a testosterone shot if you're good while under strict supervision until it wears off

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>>29191952
you can never be certain, we could both be androids for all you know

>>29191954
I don't think you understand.

If I can't bust a wicked nut into at least 1 horse I don't even want to go. Is would just be sad and lazy for the rest of my life.

Also what the hell is the difference between balls and test shots? Aggression won't decrease that way, does she just want to eat them or what?

>>29191288

Of course
if castration means removal of balls and not the penis

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>>29191952
r9k says hi

>>29191963
No they don't, that must have been said already a long time ago

>>29191960
Ball don't wear off

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>>29191920
You could just called me a newfag instead of playing this passive-aggressive games.

>>29191288
Since I'd be living there for the rest of my life and since human sperm is incompatible to other species anyways, castration or not, i wouldn't be able to make offspring anyways, so yeh

>>29191920
>every reaction image has to have a horse
no fuck you horses do make most of the best reaction images but they do not have a total monopoly on quality

>>29191946
>death by cuddles with bear hands
sounds terrifying

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>>29191946

>>29191976
newfag. go find images of ponies.

>>29191984
>every image
when you get to 5 images without a single pony it becomes noteworthy. this is a pony board.

>>29191288
>one time offer
It's not like there's any other choice than to agree

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>>29192022
I have like 50 images of pone total. Half of them are NSFW. None of them are reaction images.
Such is the cases.

>this is a pony board
That never stopped anyone.

>>29192051
>None of them are reaction images.
so get to work you lazy fuck. you can get through military school but you cant get through google?

fucking cross-board faggots. youre as obvious as a vegan in a slaughter house.

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>>29192061
Naaah.
I just don't think most of pony images are worth saving.

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>>29192009

>>29192074
most things aren't worth saying or (shit)posting either

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>>29192074
Here's one that is

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>>29191294
What was that, you sick fuck?

>>29191804
Wow such edge

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>>29191288
Tell her she can take mine if I can take hers.

>>29192398 How do you castrate a god?

>>29192426
Very quickly

>>29191288
good thing we're not bronies then

>>29192852
Seems legit

>>29191288
Depends.
Many of the disadvantages of that "surgery" could be fatal in a more or less long term if not treated properly.
I'm not sure why individuals with magic would require me getting mutilated to begin with.

>>29192426
>a god
Nice headcanon you got there

>>29191475
>brony
>implying

>>29191854
They used to beat recruits, you little faggot.

You didn't have hard SHIT.

>>29191854
>serving the military
>having judgement
Pick one

>>29192167
I wanna give that rump a good bump.

>>29191288
No deal.
I love my balls.
Princess Celery can go fuck herself with a rusty pipe.

>>29191380
Thats acceptable.

Dudes.
Castration is only the balls.
You'd still have your pointy pony pleasure pole.

>>29194281
Yeah, even if you managed to get horny, Celestia will find out and snip off that as well

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>>29191434
>Are you certain?
Am I certain that I want the chance of being some freaky alien pony Spec-ops, with the reward of being able to retire to a paradise with my pony waifu? Yeah, I think I could handle that.

>Move to Equestria.
>Go through the operation.
>Move to a quiet town once you've healed up.
>Find a nice job working the counter at a shop.
>Cute mare comes in to buy groceries once every few days.
>Finally work up the courage to talk to the mare.
>You make her laugh with a cheesy line.
>One day, you ask if she would like to hang out once you got off of work.
>She says yes.
>Over the next many months, you become close.
>On a cool evening at the park, sitting and watching the duck pond, she sneaks a kiss on the cheek then rests against your side.
>You become closer after that.
>Lots of hugging and kissing over the following month.
>One spring evening, you're over at her house for tea.
>After tea she gives you a look and invites you to stay the night.
>You turn her down and go home.
>Over the next week, you still hang out, but there is a tension in the air.
>You try to apologize.
>She says it is okay.
>You offer her to spend the night at your house.
>You both get into bed.
>She's making moves on you, trying to get you to play along.
>She can tell something is wrong.
>You tell her what has happened.
>She scoffs at first, then she curiously pulls your pants down.
>She doesn't say anything at first.
>She scoots up and lays on your chest and nuzzles into your body as you hold her.

>>29194351
You forgot the part where she awkwardly excuses herself, and stops talking to you. And why from that day forward you get funny looks and snickers from mares behind your back.

>>29194351
>The next week goes by like normal.
>But she doesn't come by the store at all.
>You ask why, but she wont give any reason.
>The next day you don't hear from her.
>A week goes by and nothing.
>At work, on break you're reading the news paper.
>A mare had yelled at Celestia in court and broke down in tears before trying to attack Celestia.
>Name changed for keeping the identity, blah blah blah.
>She's been detained for questioning.
>You see it's your friend in the picture.
>The next day, you're in Canterlot.
>Waiting in line with the rest of the petitioners.
>It's your turn.
>The moment you step into the room, everything goes quiet and tense.
>You ask Celestia where you friend is.
>Celestia tells you to follow her.
>Celestia takes you to the dungeon and shows your friend chained up in a cell.
>You ask what's going on.
>Celestia explains that your friend had asked if Celestia could un-fix you.
>She looks sad when she explained the part where the mare pleaded and cried when she was told it was not possible.
>And she's also lucky she was able to stop the guards from hurting the mare.
>You pay the bail out of your pocket and your friend is set free.
>Celestia say's she's sorry.
>You resist the urge to kick her as you and your friend leave Canterlot and go home.
>You ask your friend why she did what she did.
>"Well... I.. I love you..."

>>29194332
This

>>29195532
why bump tho

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>>29191323
damn right, i like ponies but i cant stand others people singing.

>>29195563
Idk...

>>29191361
This is true.

Good post friend.

>>29191380
>already /fit/

>equestria is full of weaker smaller things
>lower gravity
>higher oxygen


Yes pls. I will be her personal guard in [idon'tknowhowtospoiler] ten seconds flat [my homeboarddoesn'tevenhavespoilers]

>>29191475
Where the fuck do you think you are?

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>>29191288
Hope you brought bolt cutters, bitch

>>29194410
>name changed
>they put up a picture


Haha, dude, what?

>>29191288
Chemical, magical, or physical castration? If she could just zap my balls with magic and we're good, or I take a pill, fine. If surgery is involved, no.

>>29191856
They still do, faggot. It's called SERE

>>29191380
Of course I accept! It'd all be worth it after all.
For the horse pussy!

>>29191288
Only way she's ever gonna do that to me is under a knife and i'd rather not

>>29195703
>>equestria is full of weaker smaller things
>>lower gravity
>>higher oxygen
all headcanon

also completely glossing over the fact magic is op as fuck

>>29195703
ctrl+s

>>29192426
>t. Illiterates in classical mythology.

>>29191288
Why is Celestia always portrayed as a bitch without a cause in thread prompts?

>>29196831
Because talentless hack ops.

>>29191380
Whatever "training" the ponies go through can't possibly be worse than anything a modern soldier goes through. Hell, I bet even the air force has it harder in basic than the most elite pony guards. Their training would be a relaxing field day to any Marine.

>>29197083
Training used to be a whole lot worse before safety standards were introduced.

You're living in the comfiest, easiest time to live during any time in history, anon.

>>29197103
I'm not denying that. However, I won't entertain the notion that the ponies have harder training than a real life military. This is fucking Equestria we're talking about.

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>>29191288

I want to literally rape the shit out of Celestia. I want to put my penis into her anus and fuck her so hard, so deep, so many times, so fast and so slow that she loses control of her bowels and ends up defecating all over my nude body and the floor. Then she has to clean it up using her mane and her tongue. No goddamned magic!

>>29195775
It's okay they blurred the butt stamp

>>29198722
go on

>>29194332
That looks expensive.
Could you abandon everything and everyone on earth for colorful horses?

>>29191288
Absolutely. Ideally this would occur on my death bed, at the age of 35 about to die from massive heart failure, and I'm offered a choice between reincarnation in magical horseland or the empty nothingness of death.

Hopefully the castration would be painless, though. Maybe some sort of chemical thing or some spell or something.

When you consider the fact that the world is ridiculously positive and that even the worst ponies are still far better than the kinda-not-so-nice people, even the most depressed person would probably just turn into Pinkie Pie.

>>29191288
No. I needs to be able to bust a nut.

>>29191288

>>29191288
I could live if the procedure was painless.

>>29191288
I am too protective of my penis to agree

>>29191288
>implying I'd want to go to a place run by such an unstable mare

>>29191288
Why would that be a requirement?
We're most likely genetically incompatible anyway on top of them having op-as-fuck-magic...

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>it
>keeps
>getting
>bumped

>>29200577
>being a beta cuck

>>29201391
>>29201599
both of these
also sage