2016 /mlp/ Secret Santa Thread - Scorn of the Sexless on Sexts Edition

>>29111755
First for waifu horse pussy

>>29111772
Second for horsebando and gets!

I went to /mlp/ and all I got was this crushing realization that no one will ever love me and I've wasted my life.

>>29111805
Yeah? Well all I got was a lousy t-shirt

I love you anon, what's you're favourite pony? I'll draw you an art when I get home tonight

>>29111805
At least we can be crushed by this realization together. After all, misery loves company.

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Threadly reminder that Duterte is bitching about American and outside influence and we're sending pony shit to and from the Philippines just to make peoples day.

Hell, not only that, were else would I go to send a box of kiddie toys and memes to some random guy in Ohio, for no other reason than to bring Christmas cheer?

This is so stupid, but so goddamn effective. How does it feel to be the most selfless of ambassadors?

Hello hello all, yes I will be kicking off the festivities. I will also be planning on doing so giveaways as well. That just depends on when my pay gets in though. I am planning on getting some Winter Sale games. Some RP for mystery gifting on OCE Server on League of Legends. And also giveaways on TF2.
For the giveaways I am looking at hosting a server on either TF2 or Garry's Mod so we can dick around and have fun.

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>>29111805
I love you anon.

>>29111805
it take you some time

>>29111860
reminder that the ruling class is inherently corrupt slime, and taking up arms against them is the noblest of civic services

>>29111831
>tfw owning an /mlp/ t-shirt
>tfw using it as a cum rag as it was always meant to be.
Jokes aside you are a nice anon. If you tell me your favorite pone I'll draw a shitty ms paint picture. Also my favorite is AJ.

>>29111860
If the UK government is this Great Auntie who is meddlesome, but ultimately just cares for all her nephews and nieces too much, then right now, Granpappy Duterte is this really bad, ass of an uncle who trolls everyone in the family for shits and giggles, and if you take him seriously too much, then you're in for a world of annoyance. But he's good at heart and is always giving us kids toys and free stuff.

Also
>>This is so stupid, but so goddamn effective. How does it feel to be the most selfless of ambassadors?
I am one of those groups that you know don't actually celebrate Christmas. You know what I'm talking about, those guys with huge-ass cathedrals that tends to all look the same, especially in huge towns and whenever they have public events, traffic is always a nightmare?
>muh christmas is fake and gay
Yeah, I haven't given a shit about the particulars, just been enjoying myself helping out spread cheer and happiness to all of the horsefuckers that care to join in. This is literally an answer to how the human race can achieve peace on earth and happy coexistence.

>>29111884
Hey kiwifag! You are loved :)

>>29111908
One apple waifu coming up in a few hours when I get home that speed hors is pretty cute btw

>>29111911
>kiwifag almost dies every year
>double 911s
delet this

>>29111902
Bruh, not now.
>>29111908
>Cum rag.
>not using it like a sock and masturbating WITH it.
BOI!
>>29111894
Santa, check your inbox.
Also, HI SENPAI!
>>29111884
KIWIFAG, CHAMPION OF THE EASTERN TIMEZONES, TAMER OF EARTHQUAKES, AND FUCKER OF HORSES!

>>29111911
Love you too no homo

>>29111932
I have two more days until I am safe. I hope to hell that the dub 9/11's don't kill me

>>29111935
I accept all these titles

>>29111894
Check your inbox pls

>>29111805
Hey, you're a fellow horsefucker. So I have some love for you and will drink some cider in your waifus name tonight

>>29111935
>>29111974
Checking now. If I haven't responded to you send me another. I am flooded in "Hey have you heard from my Santa yet?" messages.

Fuck it, I want to get in on the giveaways too.

To the anon who can best answer What they would buy their waifu for Christmas, I'll give you any steam game you want limited to $50

Remember to Leave your steamid in your post as well

>>29112022
>Limited to $50
How am I going to get my Train Simulator DLC?

>>29112022
Well for Applejack I'd probably wind up getting her a brand new tool kit with shiny new tools that range from wrenches, monkey wrenches, flat heads, philips, ductape, nuts and bolts, ductape, saw, band saw, power saw, power screwdriver, laser measurer, ductape, some other odds and ends while having it all be stored inside of either a mobile wheel tool box with three smaller tool boxes for what she'd need on the job.

Since yanno farm work and all that is rough on the tools you've got and damn it all when you need a 8 mm but you can't find nothing but every other damn size in the box except for that 8 mm!

Stardew valley is on sale for 10 bucks if you wanna split the other 40 for other anons
RukinRD for steam

>>29112022
It might be unfair for me to enter, so I won't, but I would get my Horsebando a thick empty journal, a nice quill with various nibs and ink, a severe amount of cuddles, and I would bake something tasty so we could enjoy eating it together while keeping warm with a tall cider.

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>>29112022
A stuffed bunny with a basket in its mouth and in the basket is a 1 year membership to the zoo

Steam id: SimplisticPirate

>>29112127
Who is your horsebando?

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>>29112022
For Sweetie Belle, I'd get her tons of chocolates and candies, a lifetime supply of milkshakes in Sugarcube Corner, and a music player so she can listen to her favorite showtunes whenever she wants. Throw in a microphone too so she can do covers of her fave songs.

Also gonna enroll her in the finest voice academy in Equestria so she'll be the best singer when she grows up.

Steam ID: Anal_Geometry
All I want is CS:GO and I'm all set. The rest can go to other anons.

>>29109130
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

>>29109301
No problem! I hope you liked all of it? How were the cookies?

>>29111831
>lousy t-shirt
>my gift to my santee is a shirt
>package delivered; haven't heard from her
this triggers me

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Also this is a general message for everybody: If I haven't responded to you promptly please send me another email. I really am trying not to overlook things but sometimes it happens so do not be afraid to make sure that I see your email! This is in no way a bother for me, it's the whole reason you guys should contact me!

>>29112140
That is a fantastic present.

>>29112143
idunnosomewizard

>>29112153
I doubt any grills here would want to reveal their power levels anon.

>>29111909
D00ts is fine, giving free meds and stuff if he really meant well. I just want him to stop killing his constituents and his fandom is cancer. Looking at you Mocha and Riyoh.

If I've known earlier that you are Snowfall, I could've put more effort on your card you selfless, kind, generous bastard.

>>29112022
I'd give her a hot monkey dick pounding

>>29112185
Anon, she gets that every day. You have to give her something special for Christmas!

>>29112174
Well, I bought a jersey and I would wear that in public if I could get away with it. It's easier as a grill to do that stuff though, nobody cares as much if you like ponies. You still get flack because
>that's a show for toddlers
even though 30 year old woman can like Hello Kitty and Disney without getting teased....

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>>29112022
Tiara, champagne and box of chocolates. Tiara and champagne for little princess evening and chocolates are for her when I'm not around. And for the complete night, I can massage.


steam: zoameldar

>>29112317
That's because MLP has a negative reputation. Disney and Hello Kitty don't so you don't have to be ashamed about liking it.

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>>29112022
>Fuck it, I want to get in on the giveaways too.
Yesss. Let the holiday spirit flow through you! I was the Rocket League guy.

I'd get Dash a first edition copy of "Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Statue", the only book of the series of which she doesn't have a first edition copy.

Duall00, add me anyways for gamez!
Maybe we should make a steam group for /ss/ or something?

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>>29112022
nigga, das easy
a ring to make it official

Black Science Man
the one in Texas

anyone can friend me, i-if they want, too

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>>29111930
Sorry I'm not better at art.

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>>29112368
Saved and will use

>>29112051
>How am I going to get my Train Simulator DLC?
Well, you choo-choo-choose one of them this time, and them build on your collection.

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>>29112022

For her? i would have gotten her a nice pair of large gold brimmed glasses. So her vision wouldn't be faulty. And i'd get her baby the toy she would have always wanted.

I'd be sitting in my L.L. Bean shorts and a white tee, sipping the permanently perfect peppermint mocha she would have made. And she would be finally back, sitting in her government uniform. Back from making her early night rounds delivering the final packages of hearthswarming, acting as santa for young ponies everywhere.

i imagine the face she'd give me, the round golden glasses once given before but never worn. They would have been given to her by her parents on this day ten years before, but she would not have wanted them, she'd have pushed them away like the bullies whom kept her in her box of discomfort. She would have lost those glasses before. she talked about those glasses more frequently than she talked about her sight.

But all would fade away in that one flash of life powered freedom as for once she'd get to focus on her daughter enjoy her Hearthswarming realer than i could ever imagine.

She would have.


http://steamcommunity.com/id/youchubbylookingqueer
Fallout 4 if you can.

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So I finally got my package!

I actually got it like a week ago, but due to one whole week of finals and a full week and a half of work, I wasn't able to do anything related to having fun. I'm sorry Canadabro

I figure I should open my present now since this is the last time until after new years that I'll have time for myself. Excuse my posts.

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Btw, thx anon! Though I don't know if the janitor at USPS appreciates the glitter bomb as much as I do

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So far so good

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>>29113120
dear god

I luv it

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>>29113132
Inside box

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>>29113139
1st present: Ponk's dead body inside a box

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>>29113142
moar ponk

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>>29113150
Seriously anon, you're gonna make me cry...

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>>29113120
>>29113132
>>29113139
>>29113142
>>29113150
>>29113157

couldn't of waited TWO DAYS, huh?

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>>29113157
more fun

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>>29113160
B-but this is my only free time. After this I won't be free till after New Years. If I could wait I would :'(

>>29113162
Also lood

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>>29113169
y-you too

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>>29113177
Thx bae

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>>29113188
AAAAnd that's it. Thank you so much for the gifts Anon! I love every single one of them. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in a state of unrest for the rest of the year. Thanks Santa Pone for setting all this up.

Sorry for the early barrage of posts.

>>29112354
As autistic as this sounds, I love it

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>>29112354
>maybe we should make a steam group for /ss/ or something?

Great idea anon!

This is what you meant, right?

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>>29113460
Germans did it.

>>29113460
I wouldn't mind, we can buy random Steam gift to each though out the year if we are really nice

>>29113577
Are we really nice anon?

>>29112140
Also if this wins all I really want is Stardew

The rest of the money can go to some equally if not more thoughtful gift giver

>>29110681

Glad it arrived ok.
Happy Hearths Warming.

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>>29113207

cute

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This is an awesome hard! Thanks a lot anon!

didnt get a chance to post yesterday due to work.
Gonna be outta town for Christmas, Thanks again to my Santee!

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>>29113854
fuck im dumb

Godfucking damn it, UPS.
Why?!

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>>29113901
Goddamn, I'm dumb.

Noah F!

The steam winter sale is on. Is there something you find interesting for $11.51 to hold you over? (´• ω •`)

>>29113906
I'll get on it as soon as I can.

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A card came today! Thanks Anthony!

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have a very merry Christmas! Thanks for the card and the little fluttershy!

>>29114103
Thank you, Santa! You're awesome! And your horsebando/waifu is awesome, too!

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If I dont receive my package today, do I call USPS?

>>29114243
Yes.

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Kevin! Your card arrived! With tree pone! Let's see...snow. Snow who?...

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CARLOS! Haha thanks so much! I hope you have a wonderful pony holiday!
Also that Trixie is total cute!

Are people asleep in the Philippines right now? I need to get some important info from my santee

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>>29114452

>>29114460
Well, thankfully they were awake

Question. I sent out cards yesterday with goddies. They were in 6×9 bubble mailers. The lady at the post office asked if there were any cards in there and I said yes. Postage ended up being 5 bucks, though cards I've recoeved have had 2-3 dollar postage. Why does having a card in there matter? Should I have said there wasn't a card in there?

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This is the package that made my mail ladies never look me in the eyes since I got it. I love the picture you drew me! I'll have to get it framed!

>that button
Sweet Jesus Christ I would get something like that if it wouldn't reveal my power level. Is it custom made?

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>>29114708
I'm happy you liked it :D !!! If you want the computer version of that drawing I can send it to you by mail ! You will have to wear proudly this button for now
>>29114752
I drew that button but I was selling thoses buttons in a brony french convention, so custom made but most of french bronies have one (aswell for the /mlp/ group of galacon), I'll give the rest I have for free at bronycon.

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Cardslut's replacement card came in

I really appreciate you sending one again

>>29114842
Derpy in fact did not lose this one. I blame her for the other one though

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>>29114847
Herp pic

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>>29114853
I can't even imagine how many cards you sent that you ran out of envelopes

>>29114837
They're pretty cool m8! Good job.

>>29114842
>>29114853
>>29114847
>>29114859
I'm glad that one made it to you! I hope you like it! Sorry I didn't have anymore activity books or buttons or anything to send with that one. I hope your xmas is merry and full of ponies!

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>package marked delivered an hour ago
>santee hasn't posted about it yet

>>29114907
People work anon.

>>29114900
It's all good. The card is more than enough. Thanks for sending it and have a great Christmas!

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OH BOY! Christmas can't come soon enough!
thank you JF.

>>29114907
Package for my santee was "in delivery" with means he wasn't home or something and he didn't go to the post for her. No present for christmas.

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F from long beach. Once i finish this im gonna send it back to you full of danish candy.

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>>29115076
i dunno i'm more a sweedish fish person myself.

Here's to hoping the anon that received the package from me in the earlier thread opens it up on Christmas like he's supposed to.

>>29114907
I know that feel.

>procrastinated trying to do something too ambitious for my Santa
>just sent his package express
>postal worker was like "...are you sure? You know the price right?"
>y-yes just do it
>mfw I did this last year too

I should have learned but oh well. At least I know it will arrive on time even if I had to pay out the ass for it. I really hope it's all loved and I get to see him unbox it.

>>29114907
Same, my santee's gift was delivered almost a week ago and still nothing from them. Maybe they're just waiting for the unboxing thread to post anything about it.

>>29115432
I received mine a while ago, but I havent posted about. I hope My santa isnt sad about that. I just figured posting about it early would make people who havent gotten theirs yet feel bad.

>>29115547
TD of NC?

>>29113830
>>29113207
>>29113132
We need a drawfag to make art of this beautiful pony. Oh wait, its weed pony

>>29115547
he is sad

Are you guys opening your gifts on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?

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>>29113830
It looks like a retro muppet and I'm actually digging that.

>>29115567
One on Christmas Eve. The rest on Christmas Day.

>>29115567
I'm opening mine on Christmas Day.

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"Dearest Normy,
May you have plenty of pone and bundled of boops,
With waifus more bright than Unicorn poops.
Receiving more fun than you should be packing,
To soft colored pones -our dicks will be jacking.
With grinchy ol' grins and yellow tooth smiles,
Spreading this cancer for thousands of miles.
Leave it to us at /MLP,
To bring you the best Hearth's Warming Eve.
Happy holidays,
Friendship is Magic,
Merry Christmas,
You dumb little fagit.
-Anon"

I'll admit I cried! Thank you C.T. of DC for the wonderful card and drawing all my waifus!

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Just checked my inbox. If I haven't responded to you please bug me again about whatever it is you need!

Also thanks to whichever one of you fags mentioned me in the /mlp/ awards thread. It makes me happy that you think highly enough of me to nominate and I hope I can keep doing a good enough job with Secret Santa to help all of you have a wonderful winter!

>>29115621
That's fantastic.

>>29115554
TD? NC?

>>29115562
Well, as sorry as I am for that, I still stand by not wanting to make other anons feel anxious. I lurk for my name every day so if he is curious or wants to know anything he could always give me a shout out. Needs of the many > the needs of the few. Id feel worse boating about having my package when others are still waiting. its like eating dinner before everyone else has been served.

>>29115567
I'd open Christmas day but I don't have mine in time for Christmas

Mailanon I hope you sent it out as a normal, non express package by now unless ya still workin on it.

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>>29115621
>name is literally Normie

>>29116151
Looks like Nonny to me

>>29116187
>>29116151
>>29115621
Yeah, looks like "Nonny" to me as well.

>Sent package
>Forgot to include stickers and blindbag

Well fuck. I'll probably just send him those seperately on Monday.
Also realized I probably forgot to take the price tag off of something in the box.

>>29115994
https://youtu.be/YgHNtzxO0y8

>>29115567
Will open on the day, as God intended. Christmas Eve, tomorrow, will be spent trying to act like a not-borderline-autistic adult with my senpai. Fuck family get-togethers stress me out.

>>29112185
I like this one, but no steam ID fella

>>29112354
Also good answer, what game do you want fampai

>>29112358
>>29112140
Lots of good answer here, you both can have a $10 runners up game as well

>>29116885
i'm going to visit my family awkwardly because its expected then convince myself i'm not an alcoholic by mixing the rum with eggnog

Just got my package today, thank you Anthony A! Can't wait to open my package on Christmas and see my gift recipients open theirs!

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>>29111805
Listen here faggot.
Your happiness is your own responsibility. Stop worrying about things that are out of your control and start focusing on getting things you want to do done.

Do things FOR YOU, not for the positive attention of others. Think of something cool you've been wanting to try and start doing it, and with months, maybe years of time, you WILL be happy because you'll start having stuff going on in your life.
But get out of the house. Hanging around a comfy place with everything safe and taken care of eats away your motivation, leading to a sense of no accomplishment when you didnt do anything.
You need
A.) sleep
B.) a routine of stuff/chores/errands/a job to get stuff done and feel accomplished/useful
C.) somebody to talk to, pour your feelings to, ramble to, get opinions from, a REAL physical person though. A coworker works well.
D.) a hobby or hobbies that you can work on over time, put care and money into, and want to do it more. Keeps you setting and meeting goals.

With time, you'll gradually notice you focus more on advancing cool things in your life, doing new stuff and getting cool expiriences more often, instead of being upset over things you dont have.

Dont think about what might happen if you do X, because then you choose the safe way, but how will you ever expirience something new and something cool if you didn't dive into the unknown?
Start saying "fuck it" and DO. Don't think, DO it. You will run into trouble, yes but it's required in learning how to solve problems, which depressed people lack.

That's the secret. Purposely do things that you have no idea how to do in order to learn and figure it out.

Hey Jeremiah s.
Any change on your package?

>>29111805
Welcome to 4chan. It only gets worse the longer you stay however, you can spare us all from having to endure your faggotry AND end your own suffering by hanging yourself over the coming holidays if you'd like to kill two birds with one stone.

Merry Christmas. Enjoy your (you)s.

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>36 hours until Christmas
H Y P E !

>>29117615
I want to own my package RIGHT. NOW.
SOMEONE STOP ME.

>>29117615
You mean 10hrs 30 minutes until Christmas?

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>>29115380
I knew that feel, bro.

Flutterfriend of John!!! I wanna open that pizza box really bad! I can't wait!!

>>29117336
Fuck out of here with your bullshit advice.

>>29115076
Oh damn, can't wait! Hope you enjoy all of it!

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>>29117671
He's right, you know.

>>29117022
>>29112354
Planet Coaster!

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>>29117336
Ignore that other Anon, this legitimately made me happy to read (Even though I'm not who you're responding to). Thanks for the advice random anon, you may have made my life a little better.

>>29117687
In a generic one size fits all type of way, sure.

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J.w. from Mckinney here reaching out to my anon who gifted me. I would have loved to have been able to open my gift tomorrow but I work almost all day so I wouldn't have time to open and post pics tomorrow. So I did it tonight. So starting with the box. What do you guys think is in it?

>>29117783
Horse dildo

>>29117783
A plush

>>29117783
Ciders?

>>29117811
Juice*

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>>29117783
The bottom comes off! It's like this box has a lid on the bottom!

>>29117847
Open it faster anon pls

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>>29117847
Buttom, or top depending on how you look at it, is off! And plenty of bubble wrap for days of fun.
>>29117856
I've already opened it. I'm just torturing you faggots. :^)

>>29117399
Still waiting for UPS, Santa. Tried contacting them, but nobody's answering back.

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>>29117876
Oh my god, it's a dead body!

>>29117917
Cum on it

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>>29117917
This isn't any normal dead body!

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>>29117958
The eye stares right into your soul! Begging for me to love it unconditionally!

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>>29117967
I wanna say thank you so much to my anon for getting this for me. It means a lot to me. I'll love it 5ever!

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>My package is in my city
>My Santee's is an hour away from their city
>Both will probably be delivered tomorrow in time for Christmas

This is both stressful and exciting

>>29117977
Holy tits she's beautiful!
cum on her

>>29117967
>>29117977
That is a dang adorable moonbutt. Give her lots of holiday cuddles!

>>29118005
maybe at a later date. I don't know how to clean cum off of stuff like that yet.
>>29118048
Will do!

>>29118145
Woo! So glad you like her!

>>29118145
Should have thought to print this off and send it with her
http://buttercupbabyppg.deviantart.com/art/Minky-Plush-Washing-Guide-526558030

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Merry Christmas fags!

T-3:30 until Christmas here.
Having some pay issues and also the server I was planning to host is derping up. So I am going to host the giveaways and such on the 28th my time.

I shall still make a fresh thread the moment it hits midnight and just take notes of who wins giveaways in the thread so I give out things on the 28th

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>Fedex dude runs up real fast and leaves this as he sprints away

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>>29118674
>Theae beautiful things were inside
>Along with the biggest bag of cookies I've seen
>Still eating them
Thanks Santa anon. I dont know if the cookies are homemade but damn theyre delicious

>>29113836
Glad it arrived ok. Happy Hearths Warming!

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>>29118572
Giveaways on the 28th? What? More details please.

>>29118790
I was planning of giving away in game items and games. Keys and stuff for TF2 and mystery gifts in LoL. But it seems I'm getting paid late instead of on time because of holidays. I was going to do it tomorrow, because of Christmas. But it will have to be delayed

>>29118871
>lol gifts
interested

>>29118897
What server?
I'm stuck in the containment server that is OCE. Kill me please

>>29118901
EUNE
>OCE
you have the longest ranked q on the world man

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Merry Christmas Horsefuckers

>>29118986
I know, and the saltiest players...

>>29119004
Just over an hour to go with me.
>Rarity as Horse Jesus
Fuck my sides
Also what waifu material is that on the left?
The figures. I have no idea who they are

Embernate from the Philippines, I just received your package today.

Can't wait to open it! [Spoiler](6 more hours!)[/spoiler]

>>29119015
there are 3 on the left, but from far left are Remilia Scarlet, Louise, Pachira.

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>>29119020
>Embernate
Merry Christmas and I hope you like my gift even if it's not too much sorry.

Also unless you're talking about someone else, I got a notif that your package was delivered about last week.

Haven't got my gift yet so I have nothing to unbox tomorrow. However I'll be on the lookout for my santee's reaction on my gift.

>>29119038
I'm sure it will be great.

My Santee is in Canada, so your Santa is someone else.

>>29119172
The Christmas thread is up.
Happy holidays

>>29119177
We unboxing there now?

>>29119972
Seems so.

Ooooo. Delivery notice in my mail box. Post Office is open until 6pm tonight. This could be a bit of an adventure.

bum

>>29121076
HURRY TO IT THEN

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hey so an anon in Pasadena, Texas is going to get a card from me soon! I sent it with the faster postal option but it's still going to arrive a little late, the lady said it would get there December 29th-30th. Sorry about that but I still hope you like it!

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>>29111755
>MAGDIWANG

Putting a large lump of Neodymium near your willy? Better not get your cock between that and a fridge, then.

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>>29122003
>bum

Arse

>>29118684
You fool, they're probably cum cookies

>>29111755

slow thread is slow
i need to check my mail to make sure theres no last minute things in it