>"It's ok if you can't do magic, Anon."

>>29050869
It's ok I brought a gun

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>>29050869
Thanks, friend. Don't work too hard, now.

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>>29050869
>Anon nodded passively
>It was true he did not have superpowers like the girls
>He was not magically gifted.
>As the ran off into the distance together, Anon went into his room
>And pulled a dusty old suitcase from under his bed.....
>If he couldn't save them....He'd fuck them.
>And so he lept from the balcony of the castle.
>To prowl the nights streets....

>>29050869
Shut up purple autism tornado , let me sleep

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>>29050869
"O-ok, I'll stay back at the castle along with the other unimpactful loser"

>>29050972

While you're off making Equestria safe for friendship, Princess Celestia is making time with your husbandos.

>>29050869
But I can use magic. It's a white magic that can only materialized through rubbing my horn.

>>29050899
beautiful.

>>29050869
>You smile a false smile.
“N-no, it’s okay. I get it honey. I do. The map calls you guys and you save the day. It’s alright.”
>Twilight smiles sadly.
>She really does feel bad for you, but her optimism always outweighs it.
>“Thank you for understanding, Anon. I’ll try to come back soon. If you want, you can call any of the princesses over. It’s the holidays, they’re pretty free right now. I let them know that you might be lonely.”
>Yeah, that’s nice, but you just wish you could stay with /your/ princess.
>Still, at least she thinks of you…
>You hope...
“Thanks Twilight. Um, be careful, ok?”
>“You know I will.”
>She pecks your cheek.
“I love you.”
>“You too, Anon. Bye.”
>The loud doors shut, echoing through the vast crystalline hallways for what feels like miles.
>You realize how high the ceiling is and how wide apart the giant walls are.
>You feel lonely.
>What do?

>>29051197
Be a good househusband and do chores.

>>29050869
>You hold your hand up, weakly waving goodbye to them as the six equine girls trot off, disappearing past the horizon.
>Another adventure is what they would have.
>Another day saved is the story they would tell upon returning home.
>Another bottle of beer is what you would open up and not drink because pony beer is basically hay-flavored water.
>You grab the green glass bottle and pop the top, letting the scent waft into your nose, as you sit back on the red chair and stare into the fire.
>Here you are, Anon.
>The only human in all of Equestria, the sole symbol of humanity, and you're reduced to waiting around for a few girls to save the world.
>Boy, Dad would be so proud.
>Hey, if there's one thing going for you, it's that you're the only being in the whole world to be 100%, truly and utterly magicless.
>That's special, right?

>>29051197
Try sucking your own dick

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>>29050869
meme magic is powerful magic

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>>29050869
"Not so fast."

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>>29050869
MAGIC IS AN ABOMINATION

>>29051215
>Well, you know what?
>Why feel lonely when you can feel like a good hubbo?
>Yeah, you’re gonna go clean the whole castle up…
>...But these floors look pretty clean already.
>...
>Didn’t Spike just mop the entire place yesterday?
>...
>Fuck, you’re back where you started.
>Well, maybe you could try to make something for her for when she gets back?
>But who’re you kidding?
>Pinkie Pie will probably party afterwards and you’ll all eat her amazing dishes till you pop.
>You can’t compare with Pinkie.
>You sigh, shoulders hung low, and tread to the study in the castle.
>It’s not too far from the new library, and it’s actually one of your more favorite places.
>You step inside it, igniting the fireplace, reclining on a lounge chair as you sit alone.
>With nothing to clean up, no one to talk to, you’re all alone.
>You stare into the flames.
>The fire warms you, yet your heart is ice cold.
>You ruminate on your loneliness.
>You sigh.
“What are you to do, Anon...What are you to do…?”

>>29051273
Find a nice book to read.

>>29051267
----fun ends at this line----

>>29051289
>Read.
>Books are pretty nice.
>Maybe you should read.
>You stand up from your super comfy lounge chair, stretching your legs.
>Gonna find a book and shit.
>There’s a book shelf to your left, so maybe you could…
>You pull a random one off.
>Hm.
>Neat title.
>“THE SCHMUCK’S GUIDE TO LONELINESS”
>How conveniently relevant to your situation.
>You flip open the book.
>There’s just a picture of a noose is in it.
>You flip to the next page.
>There’s bleach.
>With a deadpan expression on your face, you moan.
>You place that stupid book back where it was, pulling another out.
>Another neat title.
>“HOW TO PUT ‘FUN’ IN THE FUNDAMENTAL LAWS OF SPACE TIME MANIPULATION THROUGH SEVERE MAGICAL TAMPERINGS OF THE NATURAL ORDER.”
>Pssh. Gay.
>You place that one back.
>You /could/ look through more books, but yeah, you’re not seeing any you like so far.
>You wish you could talk to someone.
>That’d be nice.


What next girls and boys

>>29051340
Brood about your dead parents

>>29050869
Anon going full SJW and campaigning for non-magic users' rights when?

>F-fucking magi shitlords!

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>>29051340
Be a man

>>29051340
Try to find spikes porn stash

>>29051219

>The next day, the mares arrive in Ponyville.
>They're met with a huge crowd that smiles, greets them, the whole nine yards.
>You opt to stay in the back of it, quiet, until the extra ponies leave.
>Once alone with the elements of harmony, you give them a small smile and ask how their trip was.
>"It was simply wonderful, darling. You should have been there."
>"Ah reckon ah ain't never seen a landscape quite as pertty as that one. Well, 'cept Sweet Apple Acres, o'course."
"Of course."
>Now, you wouldn't think it, but earth ponies actually have quite a bit of magic flowing through them.
>Unlike a unicorn that is able to channel the power into spells, it resides in an earth pony's muscles, supercharging them.
>That little tidbit was told to you by Twilight when you voiced your amazement at Applejack's feats of strength.
"See any cool monsters?"
>"Oh, a few."
"Like dragons?"
>"No, no dragons. I did meet a very nice manitcore though."
>"'Nice' is such a strong word, don't you think, Fluttershy dear?"
>"Least he didn't go tryin'a scoop us up fer a snack."
>They begin walking, recounting their tales, leaving you behind.
>Well, all save for Twilight, who grabbed your shirt and tugged on it to get your attention.
>"Hey, want to go for a walk?" she asked.

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>>29051371
Twiggles is best waif

>"GGGDUUUUH, KEK KEK SEKRRITLY I HAZ A GUN"
this is not L4D2, you don't have unlimited ammo for pistols

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>>29051396
What?

>>29051396
It's not that hard to make bullets if you have access to a foundry and there are probably foundrys in every town in equestria
Plus there is always potion making

>>29051353
>>29051356

>...
>You sit back down.
>Who’re you fucking kidding.
>You’re pathetic.
>Just look at yourself!
>Your wife doesn’t give a rat’s ass about you, your more timid than fucking Fluttershy…
>Christ.
>Dad was right.
>You did become a massive pussy.
>Then again, it was dad’s idea of never being a pussy that got him killed in the first place.
>Yeah, he looked just like you, green head and all, except older, wider in the shoulders, and a brown handle bar moustache.
>He and mom died when he attached rockets to a merry go-round, claiming that it wasn’t manly enough.
>And you know what.
>He was right.
>...
>Fuck this.
>You shoot up from your chair, ripping your shirt off for some manly reason that makes no sense.
>You’re gonna be a man.
>Just like Dad.
>This.
>This is your man-quest.
>Bitch.
>...
>...
>...
>But even men can get lonely.
>You should do something manly.
>Live a little.
>You can’t go on being this measly little bitch.
>You got to do something--something bad.
>Even if it’s just once, you have to do it.
>To know you can do it.
>Because you CAN do it.


Welp, you just entered a quarter-life crisis, Anon. You want to do something reckless and awful. What is it?

>>29051419
Find spikes porn stash

>>29051419
Rob the bank

>>29051419
Wait for Twilight to come home and fuck her brains out.

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>>29051419
Go visit that cute zigglette in the woods and see if she's got any good kush.

>>29051215
hahahahaha
I can't even imagine living like this. I'd kill myself out of shame

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>>29050869
Stop looking at me like this

I can't take it

I love you

>>29051371

>One nod later, and you're both heading down the beaten dirt path on the edge of Ponyville.
>The sun is high over head, making the entire emerald field leading down to Apple Pond visible.
>"So, what'd you do while we were away?"
"Oh, you know."
>Twilight shakes her head.
"Well, it was a lot of," your voice trails off.
>Sitting.
>Brooding.
>Readi--oh, hey.
"I read."
>Her ears perk up at that, and you can already tell what her next question is.
>Before she has a chance to open her mouth, you answer her.
"Just some old books on unicorns."
>"Odd subject matter."
"Well, who doesn't like to learn?"
>The walk continues on in silence for a bit.
>The sound of your feet and her hooves tapping on the ground force you unconsciously to synchronize your walking.
>You're sure it's all spoiled when she begins talking again.
>"Look, Anon, I know you're upset."
"Upset? No, I'm relaxed. This is nice."
>"I know you want to go with us sometimes, but it's just that..."
"It's that I have no magic."
>"You're soft. And frail."
"Yeah, I know. I'm reminded often."
>"I just don't want to think about what could happen to you out there. I wish you would be happy here. You've done a lot for yourself, you know. All things considered. There's not a being alive that can say they built their own house and sustain a life all magic-free."
>If only you had Pinkie's party cannon.
>Twilight stops.
>You halt as well and turn around to face her.
>"Not everypony is meant to be an adventurer. Sometimes they're meant for smaller, nicer things. Have you ever considered teaching?"
>Smaller?
>"You're a smart guy. Oh, you could run a daycare too. I know you like foals."
>Smaller?
>A smile spreads across her face as she rattles off a list of tasks she "worthy professions" you'd be capable of.
>One single word is all you hear though.
>It drowns out her voice, echoing in your mind.
>Smaller?

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>>29051460
more waifu fics of best pony when?

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>>29050869
>>29051254

>BANG!!!
>You and the girls scream when one of the goons holding you hostage gurgles red and drops with a huge hole in his back.
>"What was that?!" The goon boss yells, looking around frantically.
>He turns to you. "What did you do?!" He tells, face almost against the cage bars.
>BANG BANG BANG!
>You hear some of the goons outside the manehatten warehouse scream, a few of them running inside.
>"пoшeл нa хyй!" A familiar voice calls.
>"T-twilight? Did your husband follow us?" Rarity hesitantly asks.
"I don't kn-"
>"Cyka blyat! Touch my waifu and I end your laifu!"
>BANG BANG!
>Two holes burst open in the wall, bullets striking another two lackeys who fall.
>The panicked yelling and screaming starts again.
>Yep. He followed you.
>This is the whole reason you didn't want him to come...

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I don't need magic just my fighting skills and my hard work it's enough, one day in the future i'll fight and you gonna stay here in my position, in the future i gonna surpass everyone, now my name is the green devil of ponyville and you never gonna look me like that again

>>29051495
I sense a good green in the making.

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>>29051419
Steal Celestia's crown.

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>>29051535
Noice, keep going

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>>29050869

"Silly Twilight, humans do magic."
"It's a magic you love, the magic that comes from books and formulas and recipes."
"Tell me, have you ever seen what happens when you mix concentrated poison joke distillations with zap apple tincture?"

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>>29051637
I'm glad you're liking it.

>>29051495
Prince Consort?

>>29051419
Go scare the Flower Trio and pick a fight with your nemesis Bon Bon

>>29051197
Where is Godzilla?

>>29051495

>After a while, Twilight seems satisfied with her little speech and smiles at you.
>She's clearly awaiting a response.
>You want to tell her to take her advice and stuff it where the sun don't shine, but despite her phrasing, you're certain her heart was in the right place.
>Destined for smaller things...
>Maybe. What the hell? You've got nothing to lose, you guess.
"I'll give it a shot."
>"Great!"
>Her horn begins to glow, and over floats a small yellow flower wrapped in a similar lavender aura.
>You blink a few times at it, then her.
>"Oh, oops!"
>Twilight giggles, putting you somewhat at ease.
>"Sorry. I forgot."
"It's no problem."
>Not a problem at all.
>You're used to being reminded by now.
"Look, if it's all the same to you, I think I'll head back home."
>"Oh, ok," she says, deflated.
"Hey, relax. It's nothing you did."
>You lean down and pat her on the head.
>It's warm, especially near her horn.
>You can almost feel the magic buzzing inside her.
>"I'll see you later?"
"Of course. We live in a town of 30 ponies. How long do you expect to go without seeing me?"
>Another giggle escapes her lips.
>Bidding her a farewell, you head off back home.
>You're destined for smaller things, apparently.

>>29051495
And so the Petite Cannon was born.

>>29050869
>"It's ok if you can't do magic, Anon."
neither can Ponk or appul you dumb horse
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershut can't really either now that I think about it
if you guys don't want me hanging around you you could've just said something, I think I'm going to just go home and masturbate to your soft pony butts and there's nothing you can do about it
>360 moonwalks out of there

>>29051867
Rainbow Dash can kick lightning out of rainclouds. That isn't magic to you?

>Ponk
>not magic

You know what? Fuck it. Thing about arguing with retards, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. I'm done.

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>>29050869
>magic
Sunset brought me a gift from earth last time she visited.
I got this, horse.

>>29051874
nice reddit quote

I know how to make plasma in my garage and a horse who kicks apple treed for a living is more magical than me?

fuck off

>>29051800

>You're halfway home when you come across the schoolhouse.
>Fillies and colts run around aimlessly, chattering about this and that.
>Managing to overhear one conversation, you deduce that the parenting skills of some of these ponies are severely lacking.
>Lord Almighty knows your children would never speak like that.
"Just maybe," you whisper, letting the words play on your lips as the matching thought does in your mind.
>What's the worst that can happen?
>You approach the gates.
>Your presence alerts the teacher, a magenta mare by the name of Cheerilee.
>"Hi there, Anon."
"How's the day treating you?"
>"Well, thank you."
>You pause for a second.
>The scene in the background is amusing, almost enough to pull your attention from the teacher, but just almost.
"So, I know this might sound a little strange coming from the closest thing Ponyville has to a hermit, but I'm looking for work."
>"Oh, really?"
>She looks at you blankly.
"And I thought, since you always seem so busy with the kids," you trail off.
>Light dawns on marblehead.
>"Oh, you meant here!"
"Yeah. So, what do you say? Need an extra set of hands?"
>"I don't know," she replies, squinting.
>Cheerilee examines you, head to toe.
>"It's hard work. I don't know if you could handle it without any magic."
>For the love of...
>You force a smile and shrug.
"Kids are kids no matter where you go. I'm sure it's nothing I couldn't handle."
>The teacher rubs her chin in thought.
"Come on. Haven't you always wanted a teacher's aide? Maybe you could take those coffee breaks you've always wanted."
>"How did you know about those?"
>You hear a lot of things lugging wheelbarrows of wood across town.
>Hey, it's not easy keeping a house warm, especially when ambient magic in the air seeps into the ground and hardens the trees.
>The walnut around here is as tough as rock maple.
>"I guess it couldn't hurt to put you on a trial."
"Yeah, see? It couldn't hurt."
>"Alright, come on in."

>>29051892
Applejack is a bad example since she's a helement of armory.

>>29051648
This sounds like fun.

>>29051892
What in the shit is a "reddit quote"? Also, can you kick plasma out of matter with nothing more than a kick?

>>29051921
If you crack an egg into a bowl, cum in it and then mix in some diet coke, it makes plasma.

>>29051943
Don't fucking listen to this anon, it makes mustard gas.

>>29051943
That's just chemistry. Poners can do chemistry, too. According to Twalot, magic is just science, anyway. You think she couldn't make cumplasma? That was never the question.

>>29050869
Sure, why not.
>Proceed to make gadget and new tools in hope to help the ponies in future fight.
>Start autopsy on fallen enemy of Equestria and get insight of their anatomy.
>Leads the research team and focus on preventing injuries trough superior equipment.

There are other way to help than direct involvement.

>>29052034
>Start autopsy on fallen enemy
Like they would let you cut a fucking body open. They're pones, bruhseph. YOU would be the villain of the week even for suggesting.

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>>29050885
>"Leave some for us, brother."

>>29051416
Who needs bullets even?
Lead shot and some gunpowder stuffed down a barrel.
Fuck, make a bow.

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>>29051886
>Starcraft power armour
>doing anything besides getting you killed faster
That's funny.

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>>29052094
How would Rarahorse design powered armor? Has anybody explored this?

>>29052046
Behind the curtain, style. I keep my vicious method of helping to myself.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SociopathicHero

There is also recon and intel gathering, this holds value too.

How about making booby traps and preparing the terrain to favor the main 6.

>>29051943
DON'T DO THIS, IT CREATES A HOMUNCULUS WITH A BLOODTHIRST FOR DIET COKE

>>29051899

>Removing your hands from your pockets, you unlock the gate and enter.
>A few of the foals stop their playing to greet you, then immediately go back to whatever they were previously doing.
>Cheerilee leads you inside, where she shows you around the entire one room.
>"That corner is the time out corner. That corner is where we keep the books. That corner is the arts and crafts corner. And this corner," she says, gesturing to a large desk, "Is my corner."
"You've put a lot of thought into this."
>"Funny. Anyway, as you can see, it's been a while since we've cleaned in here."
>She rubs her hoof against the floor, kicking up a cloud of dust.
>"If you could get to tidying up, that'd be great."
"Tidying up? I thought I'd be, you know, helping to teach."
>"Teach?" she scoffs. "Anon, you don't have a degree. Goodness, you don't even have magic."
"I don't need that to clean."
>"Well, why don't you show me then?"
>Cleaning a school house...
>This isn't what you had in mind when you thought "smaller".
>Fuck you, being a janitor is about as small as it gets.
>You eye the juice spots on the floor, and trace the cobwebs lining the upper walls.
>Anonymous, the only human in all of Equestria, reduced to a janitor...
>You could walk out right now, leave the schoolhouse behind, and find a new job.
>You gave your word though, didn't you?
>And what kind of example of your race would you be if you walked out on a job you've had for ten god damn seconds?
"Where's the broom?" you mutter.
>Look at the bright side. There's only one other employee here. The upward potential is amazing.

>>29051527
>The door slams shut, and Twilight takes a deep breath.
>Takin in the fresh scent.
>Of her clean home.
>Of the air.
>And of you.
>Your maleness.
>"Honey, I'm home..."
>The mare rounds the corner and likes what she sees. She's caught you in the kitchen, just preparing yourself a snack, but all she sees is her loyal house hubby.
O-Oh, hi, Twilight. Was your adventure fu-
>"Skip it, Anon. You know what I want."
No, I really do-
>"Say it. Or maybe I'll say it for you."
>Twilight starts trotting forward. Approaching you, confidence and intent firmly in her wake.
>You're not a god damn woman. You're still have your D.
>D for Dignity.
>But oh shit, she really wants the D. The other D.
>"Do I want a dinner? A bath? Or... you?"
>Before you can respond, things happen quickly. The mare rears up onto her hind legs, wings extended, and her horn lights up, and soon enough you're being touched and pulled at, everywhere.
>Her lips press into yours firmly, and her tongue invades your mouth. One of her forehooves holds onto your shoulder for balance, and the other begins digging into your pants as her magic methodically undoes every button, every obstacle that is your clothing.
>Soon enough, you feel her soft frogs rubbing against your cock.
>Her hoof plays around with your hardening love muscle, almost in sync with her thrashing, long tongue overpowering your own
>She pushes you, walking awkwardly on her rear legs, pushing you into the opposite wall and continuing her assault on your body.
>Twilight's hips start bucking in unison with her prodding hoof now, and you can almost hear her dripping sex as it winks even more juices onto the floor.
>With a loud pop, her lips finally seperate from yours, producing a long trail of saliva that simply drips onto her hoof, serving only as lubricant for her continued massages.
>Your pants completely on the floor, Twilight lifts up your legs with her magic and her other hoof, pressing your back against the wall for leverage.

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>>29052298
>She presses her hips to yours, continuously not-so-dry humping while her free hoof continues massaging your painfully erect, throbbing staff. Twilight herself begins breathing heavily and moaning.
>You would feel an intense shame at being dominated like this, were it not for how physically good it felt. Her magic directly attacks the nerves in your penis, exciting them, soothing them, and bringing you rapturously close to orgasm
>You can't hold it anymore. Twilight's hoof feels the throbbing in your cock, and firmly presses her hips against your taint. You moan so loud that half the castle can hear your shame, and cum a continuous, thick stream of semen into the air and all over your chest, and a bit on your face.
>Twilight acts quickly, pawing some of the cum off with that same, marshmallow-soft hoof, before bringing it to her mouth and licking it clean.
>She finally sets you down, your own legs shaking until you simply collapse into a sitting position against the wall. She giggles and steps back down to her usual all-fours, before leaning in close to your face
>"Bedroom. Tonight. I'll show you some real magic."
>Twilight's wings flap closed, and she trots away, still visibly dripping.
>What the hell is wrong with you?

>>29051273
>sketch and detail blueprints of random human inventions you remember from home
Twi would love it

>>29052304
Your name isn't unwarranted.

>>29052304
hot

>>29052335
That's why I put it there. You can obviously tell the author has no idea what sex is like.

>>29052343
Overrated. That's what.

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>>29050869
"It's alright Twilight. I got this."

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>>29052304
>>29052298
WEW LAD

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>>29052304
And so anon finally realized his real purpose in Equestria

>>29052304
Twilight magically dominating me is my fetish.

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>>29052304
>>29052298

MOAR

>>29052653
Nah, I already finished jacking off. I'm done.

>>29050869
Hey humans fare very well in certain matchups.
What are you up against.

>>29052155
Jesus, this is depressing. Please continue.

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>>29052155
I am very much interested in this green. Don't you dare abandon it.

>>29050869
>I maybe don't have any magic like yours
>but I think I have better magic
>unzipdick
>twilight jeaoles of mine "magic"

>>29050869
That's fine. I'll be grinding Flaming Hot Cheetos into your chair while you're away.

>>29052155
This is good green. I need some feels and lonely things right around this time of the year. To clear out ones mind a bit before the holidays.

Nine ain't fine, anons.

>Magic
>>29033810

>>29052155

>You snatch a broom out of the old supply shed behind the schoolhouse.
>In there, you also find a stool, a bucket, and a scrub brush.
>What do you know? It's everything you need.
>One part of you wants to leave them in here so you'd have to take time out of work to go get them, but the winning side prefers efficiency and productivity, so you end up lugging everything inside.
>By the time you've begun your task, the students have returned from recess.
>Cheerilee greets them individually and prepares for class.
>"Now children, take out your textbooks and open to page thirty four. We're going to learn about division today!"
>Ha, have fun.
>"Ms. Cheerilee, why is Anon sweeping the floor?" shouts an overzealous yellow child.
>"Well, if you must know, Anon is my new assistant."
>Wait, assistant? Isn't that a step up from janitor?
>You smile and wave to her, proud of your accomplishment so early on.
>"But, Ms. Cheerilee, he doesn't have magic."
"But, Sweetie Belle, he is right behind you."
>Sweetie, a puny white horse, unsimiliar to Rarity in every way save for the coat color, jumps at your voice and whips around to see you.
>"Yeesh, don't sneak up on people like that."
"You're where I need to clean."
>You gesture to a spot of filth on the floor just underneath her chair.
"And I don't need magic to work. I think I'm managing fine so far."
>You don't need that crap to sweep. Ponies have it in their heads that anything without magic is helpless.
>Yeah, well you're not helpless. You've done well enough for yourself so far.
>You're just the only one who seems to be able to see that.

>>29054247
yessss wb

>>29054247

>The good teacher stomps her hoof, reigning in the attention of her studrnts again.
>You still need to get that pile under her chair, so you tap Sweetie Belle with the broom and encourage her to move.
>She scooches her chair forward, giving you access.
>This is a process you continue for the rest of the division lesson and all the dust of the class has been collected in the time out corner.
>At that point, you grab the stool and the feather duster to get working in the cobwebs.
>This ends up taking longer than you thought it would.
>The cobwebs in Equestria are significantly stronger than on Earth, so you really have to wrestle with them to make any progress.
>After sufficient embarrassment on your part, the task and the school day have finished.
>Now for those nasty stains.
>You grab the scrub brush out of your little water bucket and sink down to your knees.
>There's a certain orange stain you've been eyeing and it needs to go.
>Vigorously, you assault it with the brush, leaning all your weight onto it.
>It's not really disappearing. You'll need some powerful cleaning solution.
>"Anon," you hear Cheerilee's voice call to you.
>You prepare to stand, but when you look up from the floor and see her only inches away, you opt out.
>Funny though, with you kneeling she's almost at eye level.
>"You've done a wonderful job today, despite my expectations."
>What's that supposed to mean?
>"When you're finished scrubbing, you can go home. Come back here at six o'clock tomorrow and I'll show you what you'll be doing for the day."
"Thank you, Cheerilee."
>"And thank you. The school hasn't looked this neat in years."
>Nice, Anon.
>Real nice.
>You collect some soap from the supply shed and with renewed willpower, completely destroy that stain.

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>>29050869
Oh you stupid faggot purple bitch horse, how little you know of my people.
>removes thumb

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>>29050869
Alright bring me back a skull

>>29054319

>You retreat home with the sun still high in the sky and with ten bits in your pocket.
>The first bits you've ever had.
>Gazing out the window of your abode, you reminisce on when you first planelted your garden.
>The ponies were shocked to see anything grow without a special earth pony touch, but you didn't have a job and you didn't want to starve, so the garden had to work.
>Luckily, your father had a green thumb and taught you about all that junk before he passed away.
>Well, you don't have a need for bits, so you just throw them in a drawer.
>Maybe one day something will catch your fancy and you can buy it with whatever you've saved.
>In the mean time, it's time to throw some wood into the fireplace, light that bad boy up, and do some reading.
"What's on the shelf tonight?"
>Having recently finished your book on unicorn physiology, you decide unicorn history would be nice and pull it down.
>The first few chapters talk about boring shit nobody cares any like the first pony settlement and the materials used and all that jazz.
>The next one, chapter four, discusses what you were really interested in.
>How did unicorns react when they first learned they could channel magic through their horns?
>Apparently not well.
>Some of them went mad with power and tried to rule the world. All three tribes worth of it.
>They were stopped by some good Samaritans who later on decided that their good deeds earned them the throne of the world.
"Wow," you mutter. "Unicorns are dumb."
>By chapter twebty, after three unicorn empires rose and fell in the span of fifteen years, it seems the ponies decided they needed a better leader, one more suited to ruling the three races.
>The pooled their power and endowed the most worthy of them, an earth pony named Light Charger, with the greatest attributes of all three of the pony races.
>He was reborn as the first alicorn.
>It's at that point you notice that candlelight is the only thing helping you read and it's pitch dark out.

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>>29051419
>Yeah, he looked just like you, green head and all, except older, wider in the shoulders, and a brown handle bar moustache.
is this the dad you're looking for?

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>>29051535

>>29054427
Thats all I can do for now. I'll be back with more later if people are still wanting to read.

>>29054453
We want more. We love you :)

>>29054453
I do, thats really great.
See you later then.

>>29054453
Pastebin this

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>>29054326
>Twilight backs away in fear.
>Shock replaces her friendly, warm smile and her pupils shrink dramatically.
>Her eyes are closely following your thumb.
>Unsure what to do, you slowly bring it back without saying a word.
>Did you offended her or something?
>It is a rude gesture no one ever told you about?
Time to find out.
"Twi--"
>Before you can finish, a pink aura forces your mouth shut.
>With the same expression of absolute terror and shock on her face, Twilight speaks in a very silent tone, as if worried someone's going to hear her.
>"I won't tell anyone what you have just done, for the sake of our old friendship."
>Old?
>The fuck is this horse saying?
>She looks away from you and exhales loudly.
>Without looking at you again, she continues.
>"You have half an hour to pack your things. For the best, don't show yourself here anytime soon."
>You're trying really hard to say something, but Twilight's magic grip got your mouth locked down.
>Slowly, Twilight stands up, turns her back on you and begins to walk away.
>After few steps she stops to look back at you, her eyes full of disappointment and shame.
>"I'm so sorry Anon, but you've crossed the line. Goodbye."

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>>29054483
I'm confused

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>>29050869
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPkfn4qIXOg

''Its okay Twi I brough a gun''
>Anon blows up a hole in Chrysalis chitinous bughorse skull
>Twi is horrified
>Anon is taken to princess Celestia for punishment
>Celestia congratulates Anon for dealing with a thread
>Anon is made a hero
>Gets a parade as big as when Twilight became a princess
>Statues and glass paintings depicting him shooting the enemies of equestria
>To this day Twilight is still booty blasted

>>29054495
Seems like she thought he was using dark magic

>>29051867
>apple horse can kick apples out of treeswithout launching the tree at escape velocity and instantly grow plants
>pink can run as fast as rd can fly, can predict the future, and pull things out of the air
>rd can shit rainbows while flying and cuck clouds to make lightning
>not magic
!

>>29054767
>cuck clouds to make lightening
So, she likes to watch other pegasi kick the clouds and make lightening?

>>29054767
>>29054767
>cuck clouds to make lightning

I thought that was fluttershy's thing

>>29054786
Nah, he means that she makes the clouds watch as she fucks other stallions. The clouds have the shit fetish of cuckoldry, and watching RD makes them cum lightning.

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>>29050869
>Flames whirl around your naked form, the inferno leaving your skin untouched but keeping your nerves in agony.
>Your screams for mercy have long since devolved into hoarse, guttural weeping.
>The tears you shed almost instantly vaporize in the intense heat, leaving your vision swimming.
>Twilight said you had a purpose.
>She told of a great evil, one which had laid waste to countless civilizations.
>An evil that had found a new land to dominate, Equestria.
>She had asked you if you wanted to lend a hand in the destruction of this supreme evil.
>You had immediately agreed seeing as you never had the opportunity to help on one of the girls adventures.
>In hindsight you should of figured something was up.
>Every other time you wanted to help, you were met with excuse after excuse.
>Whether it was the fact that you lacked even an inkling of magic, or the fact that an earth pony foal could wrestle you into submission.
>The worst excuse was that you had too alien of a perspective to even offer any amount of insight.
>The most horrible realization was that the girls were right, you were completely obsolete.
>So now here you are, immolating in your own personal hell as punishment for being worthless.

>>29055017
so powerless that even if the Evil had overpowered the sacrifice and possessed its body, no real harm could come out of it.
>At this point of no return was when the incantation started and your nervous system was overloaded with pain.

That's okay, I'll go fuck Celestia or Cadance or something, the alicorns like a guy with hands Twilight, sorry you don't have that.

>>29055017
>Twilight said this would be the easy part, capturing would be a difficult process.
>It took 10 minutes to lure the beast out, and another 10 minutes for exposition, and barely two minutes for the Elements of Harmony to beat the everloving shit out of the milky black cloud and contain it with the rainbow.
>At the point when Twilight had finished drawing the massive runic circle and had you step inside, that was when you realized what your purpose in this operation was.
>They needed a host so weak and so powerless that even if the Evil had overpowered the sacrifice and possessed its body, no real harm could come out of it.
>At this point of no return was when the incantation started and your nervous system was overloaded with pain.

>>29055046
>It was during this hour of torture that you saw through the veil of cartoon happiness that you had been blinded by.
>Every friend you thought you had made really didn't want you around.
>Every time you hung out with Dash she would eventually get bored and challenge you to a game of hide and seek or a race.
>In both scenarios that would be the last you would see of her for the rest of the day.
>Fluttershy would barely even acknowledge your help with her animals, usually just pushing the nasty chores, like mucking out the cages, to you.
>Rarity possibly didn't know you existed until today.
>Applejack doesn't leave you alone with Apple Bloom, and completely distrusts you after an incident with her apple cart.
>Pinkie is the only exception, she actually treats you with dignity and regards you as a friend.
>After brooding in agony, you realize who the worst offender is.
>First off, she was the one who tricked you into becoming a vessel for evil.
>Secondly, you realize in a moment of clarity, Twilight never even tried to help you back to Earth.
>You asked and she said it was impossible, and that was final.

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>>29055061
>You had finally woken to your betrayal, and it hurt.
>Physically, you had been in immense pain for over an hour, but it paled in comparison to the emotional trauma of realizing that you were a pawn to someone you considered a friend during a time when you had no one else to turn to.
>The chant had ended and the flames engulfing your body had petered out.
>Thats when you saw it.
>Floating in Twilight's telekinetic grasp was a thick sliver of obsidian, six inches in length and as thick as three of your fingers.
>It tapered down to a deadly point and the stone shimmered red and purple in the dying flames.
>Twilight was saying something to you, but your attention was purely focused on the stone.
>It called to you, asking for your touch.
>Your hands pulled it out of Twilight's grasp, the sharp edges mangling your fingers painlessly.
>You could clearly hear the machinations of the Evil that you held in your hands, promises of power unending and unthinkable evils.
>You were tired of being weak, tired of being taken for granted.
>This, you realized, was your singular opportunity to reach beyond the destiny you were dealt.
>You looked Twilight in the eye as you pressed the lethal tip of the Black Soulstone to your sternum.
>And without any regrets, you impaled yourself.

>>29055089
a bit to much edge for me but hey A for Affort, you actually bother getting some green.

>>29054427

>You turn an eye to your candlestick and examine the colored wax strips along its length.
>The flame has eaten away to three strips from the bottom, so three hours to midnight.
>Considering you need to be up early, you deem it best to head off to bed.


>The next day, you arrive at the schoolhouse in time to meet Cheerilee at the gates.
>”Morning.”
“Morning.”
>You push the picket gate open and stand aside to let her pass.
>”Thanks.”
“Yep.”
>You follow her, closing the entrance behind you, and enter the schoolhouse.
>”You did a wonderful job yesterday. I didn’t even remember what color the trim was until you cleared those webs.”
>It was pretty cool of you to do all that.
>Yeah, you did a nice job.
>Take some pride in it, Anon.
>The teacher takes you over to the cupboard lining the leftmost wall.
>It reaches just barely to your hips and you have a bad feeling there’s going to be a lot of bending today.
>She slides open one of the doors and reveals the inside.
>It’s books. Lots of books.
>They’re dirty, some tattered, and strewn about like nobody cared if when they threw them inside, they might land funny and bend a few pages.
>Horrible. Terrible. You shudder to think about a library looking like this cupboard.
>”As you can see, we could use some help in here. I’d like you to go through and neaten all this up.”
“Is it just this one part?”
>She shakes her head and trots along the length of the cupboard--that is, the whole wall--opening every door and showing more books in the same disarray as the first part.
>”The one on the other side as well,” she says, pointing to the rightmost wall.
“Alright. Yeah, no problem.”
>”Don’t let me down, Anon. You’re on a roll so far,” she giggles.

>>29055682

>You set yourself down, criss cross applesauce, and begin pulling books from the shelves.
>Moving along the length of the cupboard, you empty out all the books and grab a washcloth to wipe the shelves down.
>Then you do the same with the dirty books.
>Those that are more physically beaten are easily repaired with tape and, in some rare cases, staples.
>Everything else is as easy as putting them back.
>Well, it was easy until you read their titles.
>Easy Adding 1 2 3 and Advanced Writing Skills do not belong on the same shelf.
>You picked up other books and began to examine them as well.
>There was quite a jump in the subject matter here.
>You should tell Cheerilee about it and see what she wants you to do.
>Or…
>You could take initiative and do what you want, then impress her later.
>Maybe you’d get promoted from assistant to assistant teacher.
>Yeah, let’s go with that.
>You move to the other side of the room, now hugging the walls in your travels as the center is filled with young learning ponies, and do the same as you did on the felt wall.
>The cupboard is emptied, cleaned, and the books are repaired.
>Then you begin working on organization.
>It’s a simple but beautiful system you were excited to show your boss at the end of the day.
>Huh. Boss. You didn’t think you’d be saying that anymore after Earth.
“So I split the books up into their separate subject matters. Left wall is practical skills, right wall is creative skills. I also have them arranged by age, so the older fillies and colts don’t have to dig through the cupboards to find a relevant book.”

>>29055688

>”Wow, and you did all this in a day too.”
“Thank you.”
>”Not bad for someone with no magic.”
“Looks like you don’t need magic for everything,” you snap. “Besides, it’s not like earth pony strength would have helped with this. I think I did just fine, magic or no magic.”
>After a second, you catch your tone and apologize.
>”What was that about?”
“It’s nothing. I’m sorry.”
>Cheeilee eyed you curiously, but it didn’t go anywhere since she just shrugged and handed you another ten bits.
>”Same time tomorrow, Anon.”
“Actually, before I go, I was wondering if I could take a book.”
>”Hm? Which one?”
>You moved to the left side of the room and opened up the now dubbed History Section.
>Removing the very last book, you held it up to her.
>”A Study on the History of Magic and its Practical Uses as Identified by Scribble Scrabbler IV?”
“Who’s going to read this old thing anyway?”
>”Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to lend out. Just make sure to bring it back when you’re done.”
“Will do. Thanks, Cheerilee.”
>”No problem. See you tomorrow.”
>You depart and race home to crack this bad boy open.

>>29055695
Easily the best story in the thread. Keep going.

>>29055695
nice

>>29055695
I am wondering how this story is going to go down. and what Anon is going to cook up with the history of magic he is learning.

>>29055089
Continue

>>29051680
I need green of Potionmaster Anon

This thread is an example of something good coming from a random what do prompt.

>>29055961
Other then the edge lord shit, it's pretty good.

>>29055089
I like it. Pls do more.

>>29056204
That's how prompts work, though. They're Sturgeon's Law on full display - you drop one, get a bunch of shitty responses you scroll past and find the one or two good ones. Support the people running those. And when they're done, let the thread die so a new prompt can take its place and repeat the cycle.

>>29055682
>”Don’t let me down, Anon. You’re on a roll so far,” she giggles.
She wants the d

So much green

Why did scruffy try to kill prompts again

>>29056906
Because scruffy is a faggot who hates fun.

>>29055695
Consider making a pastebin and/or start using a name or tripcode. This thread is at risk of being scruffed at any time. That way people will still be able to find you, whether you start a new thread or join a preexisting one.

>>29051892
>double spaces
>getting upset at "reddit quotes"
It's okay to admit you go to reddit, anon. Lots of people do it.

>>29050869
>Anon is basically a Superman / One Punch Man / Whatever type guy
>Is happy to leave things to others who are more than capable after having lived a lifetime of fighting
>Besides most of the world is peaceful, it's just a few isolated threats every now and then
>And they're all pretty simple really, almost like it was written for a childrens show and what's really important is learning a moral
>Only if a true threat arises Anon would reveal his power
>Until then, Clark Kent happily ever after mode

>>29055695

>Once again, the sun is high when you make it back home.
>It was three o’clock when you left the school, and it probably took about five minutes to get home, so when you take a new strip candle out to light it, you make sure to start at the nine mark.
>Finally, after depositing your bits into the money drawer, you sit down on your comfy red chair and open up the new book.
>Scribble Scrabbler introduces himself and gives a list of reasons, with each point lasting one or two pages, as to why he decided to write this book.
>According to him, magic is the foundation of society. It is what allowed the ponies to rise up from the fields and build their pens.
>It’s a boring read, but you trudge through until the good stuff.
>Chapter One - An Insight into Primitive Magic Usage
>This book seems to cover a much greater length of history than the unicorn book you began yesterday.
>Whereas that covered the beginnings of traditional spells, this one encompasses magic uses by all the races.
>Earth ponies are the first mentioned.
>Scrabbler writes of their amazing strength, and how their ability to work day in and day out made them desirable mates.
>Makes sense, you thought. Earth ponies outnumber the other races thirty to one. Not surprising if their genes were top shelf stuff back in the day.
>Then it speaks of the pegasi, and how when they discovered they could manipulate the weather as well as fly, they began to take a much more integral role in the formation of society.
>Farms began to expand and cover vast regions as the pegasi made sure earth ponies always had optimal conditions for their work.
>All the while, unicorns sat around and watched, mostly feeding off the other two races like a parasite.

>>29057550

>Chapter two talks about how one day, a certain unicorn by the name of Blackmane, later dubbed Blackmane the Great, was tired of being a useless, resource absorbing prick.
>He offered his services to the earth ponies and found that he was totally inept at every task given to him.
>Out of frustration, he imagined a plough flying through the air and shattering against a tree. To his surprise, it did.
>You raise an eyebrow.
“Awfully convenient.”
>Well, he probably embellished the story after becoming “the Great”.
>You doubt it was as easy as that.
>Whatever, not your book.
>You continue to read Scrabbler’s words.
>The rest of the chapter is Blackmane trying to recreate the event and failing each time.
>Chapter three tells of a horrifically cold winter.
>The ponies risked freezing to death as none of them had the thought to install doors or heating in their little horse sheds.
>You chuckle at the stupidity here. Yeah, that sounds like something they’d do.
>Ponies aren’t real forward thinkers.
>Anyway, Blackmane saw that his people were dropping by huge numbers, so he gave the ole’ telekinesis another go and fell a tree, which served to make a nice fire and warm them all up that night.
>He thought he got the hang of things by then and began to use magic more and more.
>When he was famous enough, he opened a school to teach others how to move objects with their minds.
>Now it’s obvious, but back then, everyone was surprised when they found that only unicorns had this talent.
>After years of teaching, one of Blackmane’s students decided to try some new magic instead of the same old moving thing.
>The success with that new spell sparked centuries of unicorn experimentation as they tried to figure out all sorts of new ways to utilize magic.
>Nice.
>Thirteen chapters later and you find the candle is down to the three strip mark again.
>You bookmark your spot and head off to sleep, eager to get to more reading after work tomorrow.

>>29057563

>The next day, you meet Cheerilee at the school as per usual.
>She tells you some playground equipment needs fixing, and since the class will be outside on the nice sunny day provided by Celestia, it’ll be the perfect time.
>”Who knows, you might even learn a thing or two.”
“Oh yeah, I bet.”
>Ok, laying it on a little thick there, Cheerilee.
>You’re magicless, not brainless.
>First order of business is seeing what actually needs fixing.
>The seesaw seems to be at an odd curve.
>You examine it a little closer and see that the middle is sufficiently rotted is near the breaking point.
“Right,” you say triumphantly. “Problem spotted.”
>What’s in the supply shed for you?
>A hammer, some nails, crazy glue, your buck--
>Wait, what?
>You examine the bottle of glue a little more closely.
“Super Crazy Glue...made with real honey.”
>Oh, ok. No horses died to make this gl--
>Wait, what?
>You can’t make glue with honey.
>The label on the back proves you wrong.
“100% Natural Greatbee Honey, fortified with Grade A magic.”
>Should have guessed.
>Yeah, what can’t magic do?
>It does everything in this god forsaken world, so why not turn honey into glue?
>Whatever. You don’t even care right now.
>That’s a lie. You care a lot.
>However, it’s not the task at hand.
>Eventually, your eyes land on a nice, long plank about the size of that on the seesaw.

>>29057572

>You grab a wrench and a screwdriver along with the aforementioned plank and head out to the playground.
>The class is already there in a half circle before Cheerilee.
>”Hi, Mr. Anon!” a few of them call out.
>You smile and wave to them, then set up at the seesaw.
>The repair isn’t so quick.
>It must have taken you about forty-five minutes in all.
>Still though, it gets done, and the old rotted plank is disposed of.
>Next you move onto the swings.
>It seems to just be a few loose bolts, so you climb up the pole and get to work on those.
>In the process, you manage to overhear Cheerilee’s lesson.
>It does interest you a bit, so may as well tune in.
>”Now, many ponies credit Starswirl the Bearded for being the greatest unicorn, but that title actually belongs to Shire Sunbeam.”
>Well, that’s debatable.
>She takes an apple from out of nowhere and huffs on it, shining up the crimson skin.
>”Nice apple, right, class?”
>”Yes, Ms. Cheerilee!”
>”Well, Shire is attributed with the creation of many spells, including the first, which he used to change an apple’s skin color from red to green! Can you imagine that?”
>The children ooh and aah as children do, but you only furrow your brow.
“That’s wrong.”
>”I’m sorry?”
“I said that’s wrong.”
>”Anon, please. I’m the teacher here. I’m pretty sure it’s true.”
>You tighten the last bolt on the swingset and hop down, landing on a packed down spot of dirt.
“Half true, but half true is another way of saying wrong.”

>>29057580

>The purple mare’s eyes dart across the class nervously.
>She regains her composure and pushes her chest out, speaking with confidence.
>”Alright, Mr. Human.”
>You don’t like the emphasis she put on that word.
>”Why don’t you tell the class your interpretation of pony history?”
>Damn, you’re so going to lose your job.
>Still though, you can’t let something like that slide.
“You’re right that Shire Goldbeam is credited with many the creation of many spells, but you’re forgetting something important.”
>”Oh?”
“The definition of a spell is a deliberate use of magic, channeled through a unicorn’s horn, for a clear and defined purpose. Shire Sunbeam is responsible for the first named spell, Applus Changius, but he didn’t make the first spell. That honor belongs to Blackmane the Great.”
>The teacher shakes her head.
>”Blackmane used Shire’s spells to begin the first of the dark empires. How could you ever attribute something like the first spell to such a vile stallion?”
“Vile or not, he created the first spell. It was telekinesis, and he used it often. Shire learned it from him, actually. After Shire made a name for himself making spells based on Blackmane’s teachings, Blackmane wanted similar fame and used them to gain power.”
>”Your story sounds like a bad drama.”
“It is, but it’s true.”
>”The Blackmane Empire didn’t even rise until the twentieth year. How could he have made the first spell, huh?”
“He made it before the empire. Obviously he had plenty of time to hone his skills before he took over the world. Or do you think hundreds of other unicorns armed with magic just sat back and let some random stallion subjugate them?”
>”Class, it’s recess time. Anonymous, come see me in the schoolhouse.”
>”Yaaaay!”
>”Let’s go on the seesaw!”
>Your face begins to heat up as you follow Cheerilee inside.

>>29057590

>You’re so going to get fired.
>You goofed, Anon.
>You should have kept your mouth shut.
>Still though, at least you set the record straight.
>Well...tried. You doubt the kids understood anything and you know Cheerilee will never agree with you.
>Well gee, when you put it like that, you lost your job over nothing.
>Good one, Anon.

That's it for now. Well, not all it. I do have one more thing due to popular request.
http://pastebin.com/5ECNnjxF

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>>29057611
This is some good shit anon

>>29050899
He gonna give those girls some PTSD?

>>29057641
>twilight likes to use magic hands to mock anon

>>29051197
Only one thing left to do.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUj79ScZJTo

>>29057611
Can't wait for more!

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>>29057641

>>29057611
Keep it up, writefag.

>>29057611
Hey, this is pretty good

>>29057611
Youre doing great, Im waiting for more later.

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>>29050869
>"Anon, I'm gonna rape you and you can't do anything about it!"

What do?????

>>29058599
Can't wrape the willing, twiggy piggy

>"o-okay mommy"
>"oh and Anon? Be sure you tell the babysitter to change your diaper"
>"yes mommy"

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>>29058599

>>29058599
Take it. See >>29052304

>>29050869
I love this thread because I fucking love it when My Little /k/

I love you guys.

Brothers in arms within brothers in autism.

(((/k/))) is actually more autistic than /mlp/ so take that however you like.

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>>29058610
>>29059319

>not being a real man and showing that purplesmart who's boss.

Pathetic

>>29057101
Scruffed? For what reason? No one's dumping porn or such.

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>>29052108

Yes.

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>>29058884
Don't turn this rape into a murder, Anon. Do what the little pony says!

>>29050869
"Hero work?"
>You scoff in disgust
"What is this hero work you do to save ponies. You do nothing but extend the miserable lives only to have them throw it away on something meaningless without as so much a second thought."
>You bop twilight on the nose
"No twilight, you do not save. You merely keep the dull status quo in your country."
"Salvation doesn't come from a rescuer Twilight,"
>You tap your head
"Salvation comes from the mind"
>You tap you heart
"From the soul"
>"Then what do you do that's so great"
>without missing a beat
"I teach ponies"
>"Oh really, I didn't know you had a degree anon"
>You chuckle softly before answering
"I do not need to degree to teach men and ponies what they did know they didn't know"

>>29059968
>"What are you Anon?"
"Some people call me a terrorist. I consider myself a teacher. Lesson number one. Heroes...there is no such thing."

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>>29057611
Gentlemen, this is good

>>29057611
I think I've seen this name before.

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>>29050869
Come on, Twilight, humans can do all sorts of useful stuff
Like...uh...play baseball

>>29057653
PRETTY STRONG AND THICK DICK.

>>29059522
Greentext prompts count as roleplay for them, at least since the last time they went full autism on /mlp/.

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>>29057611
>Anon humiliates Cheerie in front of her own class
I love your stories Urchin and this one is great too can't wait to see Anon showing up more ponies

>>29060360
You probably have

>>29050869
Blood mage Anon when

>>29062217
I LOVE the blinking in this. It looks so organic.

>>29050869

>we're more useless than spike right now

At least we aren't celestia or luna

>>29050869

>At the sound of her words you throw your hands up in defeat, a gesture accompanied with the sound of clinking chainmail.
>With a sigh, your hands return to your sides.
"Fine. I'll be on standby... I guess."
>At this you turn and begin walking to the castle library.
>"A-anon -"
"No, no, you've got it handled. I understand, don't worry."
>Hoisting yourself up by the scraps of your dignity and the remains of your self worth, you march into the library to a cadence of jingling metal.
>As you enter, you seat yourself in your usual spot and grab a nearby book.
>"Fundamentals of Magic"
>Oh, fantastic. Huffing you set it down in a clear spot and remove your helmet.
>As you set it down, you reach down and produce a flask from your the kit on your belt.
"Ooh, HEALING magic. That's not REAL magic."
>You punctuate your statement with jazz hands before quickly taking a swig from your flask.
"Yeah, and who's the first one they come running to the minute they get hurt."
>With another swig, you adjust the helmet on the table so that it is now facing you.
"Worst part is, this group only ever gets scratches. Gee mister Cleric, nice to know you've got all that POTENTIAL. Shame we won't recognize it."
>Rolling your eyes, you lean back and attempt to drown yourself with your liquor.
>Pulling your lips away from the flask, you briefly look to your helmet.
"You understand me right?"
>"Yeah, I hear you buddy."
>Whipping your head around you make eye contact with Spike, who appears to be cleaning some shelves.
>Shrugging you take another sip. It should concern you that the kid is getting used to this.
>Oh well.

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>>29063327
go on

>>29063327
Lurking

>>29063343
Will do.

>>29063327
>The loud jangling of mail accompanies the dull thud of your heavy, rapid footfalls.
>As you reach the last stretch, you twist back and slam the flanged head of your mace into the back of the troll's knees.
>Screaming in agony the beast bends forward, only to have his screams silenced by a rapier.
>The room is quiet sans the subtle sound of smoldering ash and the heavy breathing of you and your companions.
>Looking over the corpse of the troll you spy the Ranger, Vasquez. Eyeing his slaying assistant, he flags you down.
>”Hey, nice work out there...”
>It appears as though he's drawing a blank. Sighing, you open your mouth.
>”Anonymous.”
>Wait. That's not your voice.
>”Anonymous!”
>Blinking you look up. Or more accurately, over, as it appears that you've fallen asleep at your table.
>”Hey, you're drooling a little dude. Oh, and you were growling in your sleep, you okay?”
>Leaning up, you wipe the spittle off your face and survey the potential damage. Nothing on the book, just a small pool on the table.
“Nah, I'm fine.”
>”If you say so, man. I mean, you downed that drink waaay faster than normal.”
>So as not to inconvenience the poor kid you do your best to mop up the drool on the table.
“Yeah, yeah. How long was I out?”
>”Not long, 'bout an hour tops.”
>Surveying the room, it appears to be the case. He's gone from cleaning the dust off to reorganizing. Could be earlier though, that kid is definitely efficient.
>Grabbing your flask you shake it a little. The sound of droplets shaking is all that greets your ears.
>Returning the item to it's place in your kit, you stand, smooth out your tabard, and don your helmet.
“Hey, I'm gonna head into town for a bit.”
>”Kay.”
>Leaving the dragon to his work, you open the door only to pause for a brief moment.
“Uh, you need anything while I'm out?”
>”Nah, I'm good. Thanks for asking though.”
>Your mail clinks as you shrug and cross the threshold, closing the library door behind you.

>>29057611

>You enter the one-room school a few steps ahead of Cheerilee, who held the door open and closed it firmly behind you.
>She trotted up and glared at you with eyes you hadn’t seen on her before.
>If she were a few feet taller and not purple, it would be intimidating.
>As it stands now, it’s just disappointing.
>”What was that back there?”
“I, well, you know,” you stumble over your words, looking for a way to explain yourself that would reduce the damage done.
>”You, well, I know what? Spit it out.”
“You were wrong. I don’t know what else to say.”
>”Anon, where did you get your degree?”
“I’m sorry?”
>”Your degree, Anon. Where did you get it?”
“I don’t have a degree?”
>”Oh, really? That’s funny, because I have one.”
>She moseys on over to her desk and opens up a drawer.
>The mare produces a small framed piece of paper and hands it to you.
>”You see this? This means I went to school and I passed. I’m certified to be a teacher.”
“Wow. You must be so proud.”
>”What I am is qualified. You’re not. How dare you try and humiliate me in front of my students like that.”
>You give the frame back to her and watch as she carefully, ever so gently puts it away.
>When done, you receive another dose of the stink eye.
>”What do you have to say for yourself?”
“I’m sorry.”
>”Are you?”
“Yes, I’m very sorry. It will never happen again.”

>>29063951

>Cheerilee lifts her head and steps closer to you.
>”Out of the kindness of my heart, I took you in and gave you a job. I want you to let me know it wasn’t a mistake.”
“It wasn’t.”
>”Then you admit you were wrong?”
>Oh come on.
>This is going overboard.
>It was one little slip, yeah?
“Yes,” you mutter.
>”Then say it.”
“Say what?”
>”Say you were wrong.”
“I,” your words get caught in your throat.
>”I’m waiting.”
>Come on, Anon.
>Get it over with.
>Even though you’re right, it’s not worth losing a job over.
>You just began to dream smaller. Why ruin it all now over one little dispute?
“I was…”
>Right. You were so goddamn right.
>That’s not what she wants to hear though. Go on, “admit” you were wrong.
>”Honestly, I don’t know what you were thinking. You don’t even have any magic, but you saw fit to correct a teacher on its history.”
“I was wrong.”
>”That’s be--”
“About this school. Keep the bits; I quit.”
>You spin on your heels and throw the door open.
>Minimal light breaks into the room as the sun is hidden behind a few clouds.
>Without waiting to hear her response, you leave.
>For where, you’re not sure, but it’s better than that room with that woman.

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>>29063951
oh shit

>>29063955

>Your bad mood follows you, weighing on your shadow and making other ponies weary of you as you maneuver through town square.
>You stare at them, each waist-high horse, with contempt.
>They look down on you. You know it.
>Poor little Anonymous, helpless in one big magical world.
>You sneer and pick up the pace, now set on getting home so you can lock your door and keep away from these ponies.
>God, you were so stupid.
>How could you think you’d fit in with them?
>Even when you do everything right, there’s still that barrier. That one obstacle you can never overcome.
>Speaking of, the element of it bumps into you as you’re walking and knock it over.
>”Oh, I’m sorry!”
>The clouds overhead begin to part somewhat, better illuminating Twilight as she picks herself up out of the dirt.
>”I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there,” she starts, eyes suddenly landing on you. “Anon! Hey, it’s been a while.”
“It has.”
>You shuffle past her and keep on your way.
>”Hey, wait.”
>No.
>The loudening sound of hooves pounding on dirt tells you she didn’t take the hint.
>”Anon, what’s wrong?”
“Go away.”
>”That’s not very nice.”
“Isn’t it? Sorry, let me rephrase it then.”
>You turn and lower your face to hers.
“Go away. Now.”
>That should do it.
>”No.”
>Or not.
>”What kind of friend would I be if I let someone go on knowing they were in trouble?”
“In trouble?” you laugh. “I’m not in trouble, I’m free! No more obligations here, Twilight. I just lost a job. Isn’t that great?”
>”You had a job?”
“Yes!”

>>29063962

>The lavender mare shrinks back at your voice.
“I took your advice. I dreamed smaller. I swallowed my pride and I put myself out there, and what did it get me? Another talking too about how I don’t have magic. I must look so goddamn stupid to you, huh? I don’t have magic so I don’t know shit! I can’t do shit!”
>”Anon,” she stutters, “I didn’t know you felt that way.”
“Whatever. I’m done.”
>”No, wait, don’t go.”
>Too late. You’re practically jogging down the road to get away from her.
>Before long, you’re back home.
>You slam the door shut and lock it, followed by closing all the blinds, just to be extra sure nobody thinks you’re available.
>You don’t even bother getting a candle to light.
>The darkness is just fine, you think.
>Locating your red chair by instinct, you plot yourself down and grip the arms, digging your fingers into them.
>No other input available, your breathing assaults your own senses.
>You become acutely aware of how heavy it is, how it makes your chest shake, and how it warms your core.
>You try to calm down and steady it, but the more difficulty you have doing that, the more it riles you up.
>In a fit, you feel for the school book on your side table and grab it.
>It flies across the room, smashing into a wall and knocking something unseen over, shattering it as well.
“Fuck!”

>>29063969

>Where is your goddamn door?
>Right there, the only spot in the house with light spilling from beneath the crack.
>Marching over, you throw it open and exit into the world.
>A few yards away is a thick log secured in place by a circle of rocks.
>In said log is lodged your axe.
>You take it out, load up the wooden chopping block with some unsplit logs, and hack away.
>The chunk, which usually takes a few swings to get through, splits down the middle.
>After loading another one up, you picture the schoolhouse and let it rip.
>The log flies apart under your force.
>Then the next one, and the next one, and the next one.
>From wholes to halves to quarters, you completely decimate the waiting log pile.
>By the end, you’re completely out of breath.
>Your hands are blistered and your fingers refuse to open any further than what was necessary to hold the axe.
>They tremble with tiredness and pain, screaming at you to end the day.
>You gaze at your work and decide to listen to them.
>After retreating inside, you wash your hands and bandage the blisters.
>Next order of business is sleep. And lots of it.
>You disrobe and climb into bed, nestling yourself under the covers.
>As you close your eyes, you realize you’re no longer mad.
>Well, in comparison to earlier, at least.
>Another pang of rage runs through you when you note that you don’t have to wake up for work tomorrow, but you can live with it enough to go to sleep.
>Right now, the urge to sleep is more powerful than the urge to break your own property.
>Your body knows what’s best for you, so you let it give it the wheel and let it take you off to sleep.

That's all I have for now. I might come back with more tonight, but if not, tomorrow then. Catch you cool cats on the other side of the pillow.

>>29063974
That's some really good stuff you're dealing right here.
Don't drop it.

>>29063974
Seek the king, that is the only way.

>>29064175
Don't worry, Anon. As long as people are enjoying it and I have a place to post, I'll finish it. I already planned the whole thing out anyway so it'd be a bummer to let it go.

>>29064345
nice thxs anon

>>29051905
>Element of armory
She wears bags with guns in it while providing/wearing tacticool ?!?!

>>29064576
Want to know how I know you're a newfag?

>>29063736
Need more. Why aren't you giving more, writefag?

>>29064606
It's the same song all over again since the beginning and the ban wave pre-mlp era. Whatever board or era, it's the same thing with parasprite.

[Bait]
[take bait ironically]
[We both play the game]
[It becomes a shit fest]
[We both get autistic trying to get the last word]
[We derail the thread by slinging shit at each other]

I'll pass, pride ain't my prison no more. Be free, it's over.

>>29064802
So you've swallowed your pride?

>>29064864
Heh

>>29063736

>Nightmares born of alcoholism or memories you're attempting to purge through alcoholism?
>Frankly, you aren't certain. Wait, why would that be a nightmare? That was a pretty kick-ass moment, almost as kick-ass as that one time -
>With a loud CLANG, your helmeted-head smacks into the door of the local bar.
“Oh sweet merciful gods!”
>The sudden break from your thoughts has you gripping what would've been your forehead in surprise.
>Shaking your head slightly, you look up to see a slightly dented door opening inwards and a blonde maned mare poking her head outwards.
>”Anonymous?”
“Huh? Yeah, sorry, that caught me off guard there.”
>”Ha, yeah, I can tell. Come on in.”
>As you enter the bar, you take your helmet of and tuck it under your arm.
>Striding past tables with chairs upturned, you head directly for the bar.
>Taking your usual seat, you watch as the blue-bodied mare saunters up to the counter, opposite you, and produces a shot glass.
>”So, a Cleric walks into bar...”
>She flashes you a cheeky smile before sliding the shot of clear liquid towards you.
“Well, I'd laugh, but I think my voice is little hoarse.”
>Shooting her a quick grin, you down the shot.
>”Hehe, classic... So, what's got you down here this early?”
“Just needed a refill, Cider.”
>Producing the flask from your kit, you slide it across to the mare.
>”Just that...”
>Her eyes dart briefly over to the empty shot glass and the still-full bottle next to it.
>”... nothing else?”
“Nope.”
>With a slight “Huh,” the mare ducks under the bar to retrieve a bottle.
>”Ahh mehn, ahm -”
>She attempts to speak, though the liquor bottle in her mouth impedes her ability to enunciate.
>With huff she sets the bottle down next to your flask.
>”Ahem. I mean, I'm just a little concerned is all.”
“If it's about the liver damage, don't worry. I've got MAGIC. I can fix it.”
“And speaking of fixing things, do you want me to deal with the door on the way out or...?”

>>29064898

>After filling the flask, she sets the bottle back down on the counter.
>”Don't worry about it, I'll just -”
“No, seriously. It's the least I can do. If nothing else, consider it payment for the drink.”
>With a slight smile, she sighs.
>”Well, the drink was on the house – but if you insist.”
>Pocketing your flask, you don your helmet once more and head towards the door.
>Opening it, you bring the dented side towards you.
>For a few minutes, you stand there, muttering incantations and making practiced gestures.
>With one final word, the dent begins to bow outward, eventually returning to the door to it's prior blemish free state.
>Turning back to see a smiling Apple Cider, you grin a little and offer a small wave before heading out.
>Stepping out in the bright mid-morning sun, you begin to walk.
>Satisfying, but still – cantrips. Beginner stuff.

>>29064738
Might try for more tomorrow or Friday.

If the thread isn't up later, then I'll try and push later updates here: http://pastebin.com/G6eLpvcK

>>29063974
Still loving it, anon. Keep up the good work.

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>>29051246

>>29065700
>"YOSH!"
>"EUGENE IS GOOD CUTLERY!"
>"RAH!"

Found a song fitting this thread
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGGebwld21E

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>>29065731
>>"EUGENE IS GOOD CUTLERY!"
何

>>29066051
I'm not sure I see how this relates

>>29066245
well to explain it, the songs about picking yourself back up and do what you really want instead of what everyone else tells you to do. Everyone in this world looks down on Anon due to his lack of magical skill and think he cant do anything. But the fact of the matter is he can literally do anything he puts his mind to. That's how it relates my friend

>>29066261
I'm picking up what you're putting down

Insomniacs are useful creatures, are we not?

Bump

>>29066292
Way to keep your eye on the ball. Eye. Ball. Eyeball! I almost had a gag son. Joke that is.

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>>29050869
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY

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Am I the only one that has a headcanon that anon being from a non-magical world would suck up magic like a blackhole instead of negate it and be able to go super saiyan?

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>>29050869
"Check out what Discord made for me!"

>>29066638
And in turn, Discord would have to have altered your physical form to be befitting of a Space Marine, so that the armour wouldn't kill you, including the production of a geneseed - with chaos magic: and he doesn't often get things right, which settles it, Anon.

You're a goddamn heretic, and Discord took away your genitals.

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Why us magic when you can us a gun

>>29066886
Use more gun.

>>29064926
Neat

>>29066623
Thats the plot of anons pie adventure

>>29064926
please continue

>>29064926
>Satisfying, but still – cantrips. Beginner stuff.
Cantrips are awesome. In comparison to summoning fire and brimstone on your enemies, reincarnation or other things, they look like cheap tricks. They can be so useful and versatile tho!
If I there was an option to be able to learn every single cantrip there is, at the price of cantrips being the only magic character can learn, I would take it in a heartbeat.

I need you urchin

bump, take your time urchin

This thread shall live!

>>29069826
What are you, some kind of thread wizard?

>>29050869
"You don't work out much, do you? Your butt is huge."

>>29056204
I just wanted him to awaken as the new Diablo and wreck shit

Bumping this thread

>>29070124
My Little Evil, My Little Evil,
Aaaaah
I use to wonder what hell could be.
Until you all shared its horrors with me
Big archdemons
Tons of blood
A corrupted soul
Weak and Damned
Sharing Terror
It's an easy feat
And Diablo makes it all complete
You have my little evil...

>>29063974

>You awake the next morning, peeling your eyes open slowly.
>Well, it’s probably morning.
>There’s really no way of knowing unless you went into town and looked at a clock.
>Maybe you should get to building a sundial.
“No,” you groan.
>The rocks in Equestria, like the trees, are also more troublesome than on Earth. They’re as strong as iron.
>The time to take on such a project is certainly available, but not the patience. You’d be tearing your eyes out before it was halfway done.
>Instead, you settle for pulling yourself out of bed and getting some tea started.
>The palms of your hands do most of the work in this process, as your fingers are still throbbing from yesterday’s exploits.
>Once you have a nice blaze going in the fireplace, you set the pot down near it and locate the mess you made yesterday.
>The schoolbook is there, open, sitting face down on a couple now bent pages.
>Beside it are the glass shards from a framed picture.
>Your heart sinks as your mind works together what that means.
>You kneel down and lift the picture and frame off the floor, brushing some dust off of it.
>It’s of you and your father. You were just a boy in this picture.
>The day it was taken flashes in your mind.
>He had just taught you how to fish, saying it would be a useful skill.
>When you caught your first fish, a sense of such pride overwhelmed you.
>”That’s good,” he said. “Never let go of that feeling.”
>Then you posed for the camera, got the picture, and kept it with you ever since.
>It was one of the only things you had on your person when you were dropped into Equestria from the sky.

Double 0 Triple 7. I like my posts ironically shitty, not unironic.

>>29070707

>You remove the picture from the frame and pocket it.
>It belongs close to you.
>The book also finds its way into your hands.
>Funny enough, it landed on just the page you left off on.
>Chapter Fourteen - The First Charm
>The first thing Scrabbler does is fill you in on the difference between a charm and an enchantment.
>A charm is a weak alteration to an object that will only last for a finite amount of time. A teacup that is charmed to be hot will be hot for about ten minutes. Apparently, the longest charm ever cast lasted thirty minutes.
>Enchantments are significantly stronger and can be used on both objects and living organisms. They will also last as long as they are fed magic, so in theory, it could last forever if new unicorns took on the duty of powering it when the last died.
>It’s also noted that enchantments can be split up into five subcategories, but that those won’t come into play until the later chapters.
>Not wanting to waste any time on it, you fetch that cup of tea, reload the fireplace, and get to reading.
>It’s a quiet day and you spend all of it like that.
>What? The garden was fine, you have your wood chopped for the next month, and you don’t have to go to work.
>It’s a fine day to be lazy and read.
>Where were you? Ah, yes.
>Chapter Thirty-Three - The Next Level, an Enchantment Born
>According to this, enchantments followed soon after charms, about 2500 years ago.

>>29070713

>You've been making your way through Ponyville all day, questioning passerbys.
>Wait, why are you in Ponyville?
>Oh yeah, because you're Twilight Sparkle.
“Hey, Colgate,” you call to the mint green mare.”
>”I told you my name is Minuette.”
“Say, have you heard anything about Anon getting a job recently?”
>”Anon?”
>She rubs her chin in thought.
>Slowly, then more confidently, she begins to nod.
>”Yeah, yeah I think I heard Roseluck mention it.”
>Roseluck? Huh, you never figured Anon for a florist.
>Off to see Roseluck then.
“Thanks, Colgate.”
>”Minuette.”
>You arrive at the Ponyville Flower Shop after a bit and enter.
>An array of scents assault your senses.
>Roses, lilies, tulips, and even birds of paradise.
>”Welcome to Ponyville Flower Shop.”
>Roseluck waves to you from behind the counter.
>”Oh, hey, Twilight. Here for some daffodils again?”
“No, I stopped having those dreams months ago.”
>”Just let me know when you want to end it.”
>You eye some tasty looking dandelions as you near her.
>Maybe later when you’re not busy.
“Actually, I did want your help with something. Do you have a minute?”
>”I could spare one for the princess.”
>Your eyes roll at the mention of that.
>Yes, yes, you’re a princess. Woo hoo.
“I was wondering if you’d heard anything about Anon getting a job.”
>”You bet I did. Grab a chair, marefriend. Have I got a story for you!”

>>29070718

>The mare puts a bowl of hay between you and settles herself in.
>There aren’t any chairs in the store, so you just continue to stand.
>”So I was out with Cheerilee last night and she told me all about one of her employees.”
>Cheerilee? But she runs the schoolhouse.
>Oh...he didn’t just dream smaller. He really did take all of your advice.
>”Apparently Anon went up to her a few days ago and asked for a job. Can you believe that? I mean, what’s he expect to do with no magic anyway?”
“More than you’d think,” you interrupt her.
>”Sure, ok. Anyway, she gives him some grunt work for a few days, gives him a nice salary and all, the works.”
>She takes a break for some hay.
>It does look tasty, and it’s not like you’re going anywhere.
>Aw, what the Hell.
>You dig in too, grabbing a mouthful as she begins to speak again.
>”So then, I guess he decides he just hates her after everything she did for him, so he humiliates her in front of the whole class!”
“He what?!”
>”I know! Can you imagine that?”
>You find that hard to believe.
>Still, he was in a bad mood when you saw him.
>Maybe something set him off that day and he just lashed out at her.
>It doesn’t sound like something he’d do, but considering you also never knew how he felt about magic, you’re not really an authority on how he’d act.
“What did he say?”
>”I don’t remember all of it, but something about how great Blackmane was.”
>You slam your hooves down on the counter and pull yourself toward her.
“THE Blackmane?”
>”Yep.”
>Oh, Anon, what have you done?

>>29070726

>You have to talk to him right away.
>After thanking Roseluck for her time, you trot away.
>Once you’re out of the store, you unfurl your wings and take to the air.
>Anon’s house is only a few strong wing flaps away.
>Before long, the tiny, crude cabin becomes visible past the tree layer he left between it and Ponyville.
>You land directly in front of his door and begin pounding on it.
>No response.
>Frowning, you start again.
>Still, he doesn’t come.
>On the way here, you saw the smoke flowing out from his chimney, so you know right darn well he’s home.
>The man is just playing hard to get.
>Fine, he wants to play that game? You’ll play hard to ditch.
>You channel your magic and cast a spell on the door, making it vibrate violently and produce a knock each time.
>If that doesn’t get him out, you’re liable to just barge right in.
>Come on, Anon.
>Answer the door.
>You tap your hoof in the dirt, anxiously awaiting his response.
>Ah ha!
>You see the knob begin to turn.
>Anon opens the door slowly, just in time for the time on your spell to run out.
>He turns his eyes from it to you, slowly, and asks “A charm?”
>You raise an eyebrow.
“How’d you know?”
>And there he goes trying to close it on you.
>Not so fast!
>You jam your hoof in the door and force your way inside.
“We need to talk.”
>”This is home invasion. I’m legally obligated to call the police.”
“Ponyville doesn’t have a police force.”
>”Damn.”

>>29070731

>You march past him and enter the dark house.
>There’s one corner in the living room with a fireplace that illuminates the soft red chair and a large bookcase nearby.
>Preferring the light yourself, enter the room and idly examine the bookcase he has.
>A few of the titles catch your eye, and you look more closely.
>Types of Magic, An Anthology of Magical Fables, Magical Items and Where to Find Them, Mother Unicorn’s Tall Tales, and a bunch of other books you distinctly remember leaving outside your castle on the free book cart.
>This is where they went!
>You were wondering why so many of them started disappearing months ago. Nobody ever takes interest in your free books.
“I have to say, your taste is,” you pause, looking for the right word so as not to offend. “Surprising.”
>”What can I say? I like to learn. Right now I’d like to learn why you’re here and what I can do to make you leave.”
“I’m here to talk and I’m not leaving until we settle this.”
>”Settle what?”
>He finally enters the light with you and sits himself down in the red chair.
“I know you’re feeling angry and upset over something, and I don’t want it to consume you.”
>You approach him and lay a hoof on his knee.
“So we’re going to talk it out and clear your mind.”
>”What could you possibly know? Oh, wait, I’m sorry. Everything.”
“See? You’re lashing out. Whatever’s going on in your head isn’t healthy.”
>”Don’t you psychoanalyze me.”
“I’m not. I’m being a friend.”
>”I didn’t ask you to.”
“You didn’t have to.”
>Anon glares at you, eating through your eyes and grabbing your heart.
“Come on. Talk to me.”

That's all the sea creature wrote for tonight. I have an updated and fixed pastebin here ready to go since I noticed a large number of misspellings in the original http://pastebin.com/5ECNnjxF

>>29070751
>missed trips
Sorry guys, story is over. I'm killing myself. It's time for Bateman to judge my soul.

>>29054247
>Not knowing janitor Anon can kill 4 assassins headed for celestia, doing a corkscrew double backflip 360 on everyone and mailing them righ in the head.

>>29070810
>"He also said 'Stick around,' but nop0ny was around to hear it!"

>>29063955
Enlightenment thinking
Scientific theory
Critical thought
Who needs magic when you have, thought invention, metal!
I'm mobile fag right now but if this thought process excited you visit the Technology is Magic thread.

>>29070810
Damn I miss those threads, anyone have a screen cap or archive link?

>>29070889
Search "Janitor Anon" on pastebin.

>>29070887
>enlightment thinking
Got me thinking about light in this story
>its sunny when Anon is with twilight
>its sunny when he gets his job
>the schoolhouse is dark when hes about to get fired
>clouds block the light when he quits and storms out
>Twilight has a spotlight when he bumps into her on the street
>house is dark when he gets back and has a temper tantrum
>Twilight enters his house and steps right into the light next to his books
>Anon also enters the light when he opens himself to talk to her

>>29050885
>I'm not anon I'm Shotgun Man!
Guns > Magic

I want anon to go crazy and suck the magic out of everything in the world like Tirek did except actually win

>>29071128
http://pastebin.com/sYyV9Hvf

>>29071419
Now someone rewrite it to be good.

>>29071419
oh boy you brought me a present, better not be socks fuccboi

File: 36865-you-just-got-pranked-bro.gif (2MB, 349x400px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 349x400px

>>29071471
It was socks all along...

>>29070559
You are all my very worst foes

>>29070559
I'm gonna drag you all to hell~

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52KB, 100x100px

>>29071490
WELL SHIT

>>29070751
I NEED MOAR

>>29070751
God I hate people like that.
Like, just let me figure shit out on my own. If that means I kill myself in a month, so be it.

This thread and becoming a pink dragon to get spike laid are objectively the best threads

>>29071869
Agreed

>>29070707
>>29070713
>>29070718
>>29070726
>>29070731
>>29070751
Really good stuff, looking forward to more

just keepin it alive

>>29055017
I don't get what's happening here.

>>29070751
>“I know you’re feeling angry and upset over something, and I don’t want it to consume you.”
Let the hate flow through you young Anonymous

This thread is overflown with shitty green.

>>29072757
What makes you say that?

>>29073046
Most of the Green is his

>>29073673
sea urchin?
is that a problem?
I honestly have no idea about him, and I dont really care.
This green is nice, I like it.

>>29073673
What does Urchin writing most of the green have to do with anything?

>>29066923
But what if its not enough?

>>29074425
Use missile.

File: Artificial_Valkyria_battle.jpg (110KB, 1164x639px) Image search: [Google]

110KB, 1164x639px

>>29074425
Weaponize the magic.

File: 1431985393726.png (527KB, 910x1024px) Image search: [Google]

527KB, 910x1024px

>>29059469
>showing purplesmart who's boss
>not tapping some of that horse nerd pussy
>not wanting to rape each other so hard that you do things that were added to the pony sutra
You're the pathetic one.

>>29051391
what is this from? is there more or context?

>>29075927
its a reference for Neverending Story, when Atreyu succumbs to the Swamp of Sadness.