>Your girlfriend's not here right now. Maybe I could

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Keep talking

>>29043851
good to hear that because my GF promised me wild sex tonight

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>>29043851
go on.

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>>29043851
>wanting me to cheat on one of her best friends
>believing I'd ever do that
Stupid Sweetie

>>29043851
you guys might think the sex would be great but shes just as tight as an 18 year old girl.

>>29043851
What is wrong with her ankles?

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>>29043851

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>>29043851

You know I don't have a girlfriend.

>>29043851
Literally kill yourself you underage whore

>>29043851
No hoooooooves!

>>29044510
She's good to go. It's prepubescent girls that you can't fuck. their vagina walls are as think as a piece of paper and you can do real damage if you are even average size.

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>>29044441
in all the history of insignificant things, this post shines like a thousand suns

>>29044530
Exactly

>>29043851
>Whelp, shit went downhill pretty fast, huh?
>Yeah, you knew that your girl's baby sister has been hitting on you for a while now, and all you've done was boop her nose and told her that you were already taken
>You also knew that she wouldn't take no for an answer
>And now, with Rarity out of town for a weekend with the girls, she asked you if you could watch her baby sister for her?
>Sure, you said, how hard could it be?
>It was even ten o'clock in the morning, and there was Sweetie Belle, tiny ass on the desk, feet planted on the wall, giving you the bedroom eyes as she says...
>"Your girlfriend's not here right now. Maybe I could be your girlfriend tonight?"
>And there you, standing by the door, looking like an idiot, and wondering what prison is like for convicted kiddie fuckers?
>Well, there's only one way out of this...
"Sure baby, you can be my girl tonight..."
>Sweetie drops her slutty act, and gives out an adorabe, if ear-shattering squeek of excitment
"BUT...You must do one thing for me, okay?"
>Sweetie nods her head, grining like an idiot, and having no idea what you plan to do to her

>A couple of hours later
>"ANON! YOU ASSHOLE! I CAN'T DRINK ALL OF THIS EGGNOG!!!!"
>Sweetie whines in agony, her head slumped on kitchen table that was strewn with used cups and spilt cinnamon-flavoured eggy goodness
>You were pouring the eighth cup from a big pot full of Christmas cheer with a ladle, trying your best to hide your evil grin
"Come on now, Sweetie. Your sister managed to gulp down fifty of these cups before I was impressed enough to start dating her. If you want to get it on with me, you got to beat her record"
>Sweetie groans, as you place the steaming hot cup before her
>You were lying, of course
>You can also hear the screams of fellow Anons, calling you an absolute faggot for not tapping that underage pussy
>But then again, these Anons have never seen Gary Oldman taking it like a bitch in the film "American History X"

>>29045550
>boop her nose
The equivalent of pounding her tight butthole. You've been cheating on Rarity this whole time without knowing it

>>29045550
dude she's like 3 years younger than Rarity in EQG. Where's this idea that she's like 5 coming from?

"Ew, that's gross, you're not even my sister."

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>>29044548
It's perfect.

>>29045550
What if she actually drank all of it?
Pony powers and whatnot

>>29045614
When people say "underage" we mean under the age of consent. If Rarity is in high school, she can be 18 at most, which happens to be the age of consent in most states; her sister is younger than her, thus she has to be underage and therefore illegal. Nigger, people in jail rape and kill pedos if they can, and even if you manage not to get killed you still go to jail and it follows you the rest of your life.

>>29045930
Blah blah blah blah
Blah blah

>>29045930
I understand that, but that green was acting like she's extremely young, and a lot of people seem to have that idea about them, like they're just dumb little kids. They're under 18, for sure, but I find it hard to believe they're as young as people seem to act.

>>29045930
You seriously think that 18 is the age of consent in most states? Motherfucker 18 is the age of majority: consent hits a little lower on the scale. Several states list consent at 17 and some at 16, and that's just universal consent. Conditional consent goes way lower. There are states where the conditional age of consent is fucking 12 years old.

>>29043851
>Your girlfriend's not here right now
That's because I don't have one
>Maybe I could be your girlfriend tonight
Okay, bye then

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>>29043851
What do girlfriends do?

Like, are you going to watch me jack off and shitpost or something?
Is that what girlfriends do?

>>29045985
god bless mississippi

>>29045985
officially 12 in mexico

13 in japan

>>29046454
Yet another reason to learn how to speak the language of /h/

>captcha: sushi

>>29046454
>Vatican still has it at the age of 12

>>29043851
No

>>29047009
Citation please.

>>29045985
>>29046454
14 in italy, still too high

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>>29043851
>Your girlfriend's not here right now.
>girlfriend

>>29045614
Truth be told, I wasn't paying much attention to the Bratts knock-off special. I just assumed that she was 13, and that she was pretending to be all grown up and slutty.

>>29045583
If Anon was using his index finger, that would be the case. But, he was using his little pinkie instead, which is the equivilent of giving Sweetie a gold star for effort.

>>29045759
Have you ever watched Jackass? Search up a clip on youtube for the eggnog challange. There's no pony powers in existence that allows anyone to drink that much eggnog.
Thusly, Anon's rectum is safe and sound...

>>29045930
Thank you, at least one fellow Anon here gets it.

>>29045985
The fact that you seem to have some indepth knowledge on the age of consent in several states is a bit worrying...

I rather play it safe and find a girl more or less my age. My ass is too tight and pretty to be locked up in a prison full of sex-crazed psychos...

>>29048281
Not that guy, but I know them in order to avoid that whole "ignorance is no excuse" bullshit the fuzz try and use

>>29048304
But, God forbid should the fuzz pull you over should they ask you the question

"Why did you need to know the age of consent in so many states?"

I'm not trying to be a smrtarse, but the fact that you have some indepth knowledge on laws and ages of consent does make you look a little suspect, regardless of the reason behind it.

Besides, if you went out with a cutie who says she is 20, let's say. If it turns out she was actually under 18, the fuzz would still nick you, regardless if she looked older or that you thought that you were following the laws of state. Many of them wouldn't give a toss, but for the fact that it bump up their number of arrests that makes it look good for their department in their annual reports.

>>29047556
>Citation please.
aka
>i'm a lazy shit and can't google it for myself

>>29048347
>But, God forbid should the fuzz pull you over should they ask you the question
>
>"Why did you need to know the age of consent in so many states?"
What weird arse place do you live that cops randomly pull you over and quiz you on your knowledge of consent laws?

>>29043851
>Clinton in Equestria Thread

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>>29043851
>Your girlfriend's not here right now
What do you mean, she's trying to seduce me right now. Seriously get your NTR fetish checked Sweetie, that shit's not healthy.

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>>29045550
Umm Gary Oldman?
You mean Edward Norton, right?

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I'm here to chew bubblegum and shitpost.

And I'm all out of bubblegum.

>>29048992
I don't know how it's possible, but that pic is literally radiating cuntiness

>>29043851
Uh uh. Nope. I ain't going to jail.

>>29043851
49 responses and not one >rape

>>29049354
Sweetie wants you to plow her tight holes, it's not rape

>>29049330
Pretend this takes place in mostly anywhere in the world, where a girl in her mid-teens can consent.

>>29049378
That just makes it worse because then it absolutely has to be a trap

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>>29049360
>you can't rape the willing

>>29048401
He's got you there

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>>29043851
Stop. You are too cute for this behavior.
Let that to your sister.

>>29043851
No
>Back Succubus!

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>I had a bad dream, Anon. Can you lay in bed with me until I fall asleep?

>>29049360
>show her your irredeemable fetish
>she doesn't want to fuck anymore
>rape

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>>29046228
>What do girlfriends do?
That really depends on what type of girlfriend you have and what type of guy you are

I used to be a Cassanova, so feel free ask anything

>>29049717
What's your fetish?

>>29044487
>tumors

>>29049301

It's the eyebrows.

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>>29045550

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>>29045550
>how hard could it be
Very.

>>29045550
humbly requesting more

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>tfw gf got cancer and decided to dump you so you didn't have to deal with it
>tfw she has to move away to get treatment
>tfw even though you get another gf you still miss her
>tfw you try to stay in touch but fail
>tfw you find ot she died a few months afterwards
>tfw you couldn't protect that smile

>>29045550
Moar?

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>>29043851
>You will never cuddle with Sweetie Belle, under a warm blanket on a big comfy couch, and watch your favorite date movie, The Princess Bride

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>>29045550
That was Edward Norton, bruh.

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>>29051643

>>29048401
The place where cops could be looking into my internet activity since the bill got passed into law a few weeks back that allows them to look into the internet activity of anyone in the UK.

And with Trump in power, who knows what crazy shit he could make into law before his first year is out? Yeah, I know I sound paranoid. But, like I said, my arse is too tight and pretty to be locked up in a prison full of sex-crazed psychos.

>>29048696
Shit, you're right. For years I always thought it was Gary Oldman. But, you know the scene I'm talking about, right? Well, imagine that, but Anon getting dicked six ways till Sunday, in the most horrific, brutal, violent, and mentally traumatic way possible

What girlfriend

>>29052130
>Claims to be paranoid, isn't behind 7 proxies
You probably don't even own a dog

>>29045550
I'm not saying you're an absolute faggot
But you're an absolute faggot

>>29043851

>>29045930
>18 at most, which happens to be the age of consent in most states
Actually less than 1/3 of the US states have 18 as age of consent. California and a few other states. Most have 16 and some 17.

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>>29043851

>>29043851
Take a double dosage of my antipsychotics with viagra and see what happens.

>>29043851
Put your feet down on the floor and sit straight you little shit
and no talking

>>29045930
No Anon, through extensive research i've concluded that when Americans say "underage" they mean "not a milf"