>"Let's be reasonable here Anon. I'm sure your

>>29037134

"I demand cuddles."

>>29037134
>roleplaying
Delete this

>>29037134
Deus Vult?

>>29037134
>Dues Vult intensifies!

>>29037134
God? I just want your resources. Nothing personal, bitch, but conquest determines right.

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>>29037134

My shiny Golden Emperor demands nothing but complete victory and annihilation of those who oppose us.

>>29038010
>Not even bringing Democracy.
Poor show.

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>>29038088
>mfw Trump is already capitulating in favor of the libs

>>29038098
It's no surprise; he used to identify as a democrat and seems to change his mind more than most. But I doubt he'll capitulate on core issues.

>>29037134
"Princess, there is no war."
>"War, occupation, slaughter, call it what you'd like, it has to end."
"Slaughter?" You ask, raising an eyebrow, "This is the polar opposite of a slaughter. If you'd just list-"
>"My innocent little ponies are dying, Anonymous! The games must end, I'm willing to do anything to ensure the safety of my ponies!"
>Her breathing increases and she gets a look in her eyes.
>"I will do anything, Anonymous, I will gladly lay down and die if it means you stop this conquest!"
>Her hooves start to dig at the ground nervously.
"Celestia, please listen to reason! Just look at Equestria and you'll see that your poni-"
>"This is just an attempt to stall me, is it not? You're scheming something here, and I will NOT let it come to fruition!"
>Her eyes narrow and she raises before charging.
>You backpedal as fast as you can out of the room and slam the door behind you, the locks automatically latching as a solid thud is felt from the other side.
>You wait a moment and sigh in the silence as you disappointedly grab a clipboard from the wall and begin to write.
> Subject is showing no signs of recovery from her case of aggravated dementia despite repeated attempts at therapy.
>You return the clipboard and return to your office, a heavy weight in your heart.

>>29038098
We've elected a dildo with a bad toupee.

>>29037134
This is the part where I play the porn music, right?

>>29037134
I just want to punch stuff.

>>29037134
You'll have to speak to the Pope about that. I am a soldier of God and recieve my orders through the exalted one. Until k hear otherwise, I must go on.

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>>29038097
>democracy as anything but a last resort

>>29038210
>she was insane all along twist
KYS

>>29037134
>"epic" anon vs. weak Celestia thread
it's shit, every time

>>29038210
>I will do anything, Anonymous
It should have taken a very different turn at this statement and the thread would have been saved.

>>29039321
>not bringing everything but democracy, and calling it democracy: mission complete edition
Pleb.

>>29037134
HOLY SHIT, A TALKING HORSE!

>>29038210
I chuckled

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>"No, I'm going to negotiate, that's what I do, believe me, I'm an expert negotiator"
"Whatever do you me..."
>"You get half"
What?
>"You get half, that's the deal"
Half of what?
>"I'm going to build a great wall, and Mexico's going to pay for it"
>What's Mexico?
>Proceed to grab Celestia by the pussy
>Take office
>Deport Zecora
>Take half of Equestria
>Build fat fuck off wall right on the border of your half of the country
>Make Equestria great again

>>29039379
Not everything has to be sexual.

>>29039694
Fuck off it doesn't on this board

>>29039702
Not that anon but if you think everything on this board needs to be sexual you are grade-A cancer.

>>29039704
>Implying everything on here isn't grade-A cancer

>>29039706
Then why are you here?

I don't care. I've removed this thread from my watch list.

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>>29039321
why can't this update faster

>>29039678
>>Deport Zecora
But she already lives innawoods

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>>29037134
>"Let's be reasonable here Anon. I'm sure your kind is capable of that."
What is reason? nothing but a pile of circular excuses people use when unable to actually prove themselves right.
>"Or is this war about something more than your God?"
But of course, not like the knights know or care, they just follow like the puppets they were born to be.

>>29037134
Suppose you want this to go in one way but I'm throwing it in another.

> You scratched at your chin, the wind picking up as you stared the frazzled princess down.
> She gave you a small, unsure smile, awaiting your answer.
> She definitely had you in numbers, the whole Equestrian army as well as a couple of gods and powerhouses were behind her.
> But you had powerhouses of your own.
> You and your motley crew had cut a path through this entire land.
> Though the heroes you were tagging along with were doing it for some 'higher glory' or something.
> You?
> You were seeking out the strong.
> Behind you stood your crew, just as uneasy as the princess was in front of you. An Archer, A powerful Mage, A Cleric, a Paladin, and a Beserker.
> You never bothered to learn their real names.
> or the names of the army they had bought along with them.
> All the mattered to you was the new land and the prospect of new brawls ahead of you.
> None of them even held a candle to the power yo possessed.
> Hmmm…
“Nah.”
> Celestia's face fell as your massive frame lumbered forward, quickly over-shadowing her own.
“These aren't my people, and I don't fight for a god...or any other one for that matter.”
> With a grunt you suddenly struck a pose, outstretching one arm and flexing the bicep of the other as you arched your back.
“Nggghhh, I only seek strength!”
> You are Anon.
> The Muscle-wizard.
> You dropped your awe-imposing pose and dropped into another one, dipping both arms downwards.
“Show me what you've got Celestia!” You bellowed.
> Celestia's eye twitched lightly.
> You couldn't help but notice everyone was glaring at you, especially the heroes you had tagged along with.
> “Y-Your army..carves a path through my kingdom, you cause destruction and pain at every wake and...you just wanted to...fight me...”

>>29040460
> The grin stretching at your mouth told her everything though the Paladin suddenly decided to step in.
> “You worship false gods.” He growled, stepping forwards and past you. “These two sisters are liars, the deceive your kind and you all take the bait.”
> You noticed he was talking to those colorful, squishy creatures instead of the princesses themselves.
> You never really cared for the paladin, some rather handsome fellow with long blonde hair and deep blue eyes.
> You were sure he was cut but nowhere near as you.
> Oh, he was almost done talking, you had opted to check out your own bod as he continued to drone on.
> “Our god has sent us here to liberate you. We tried diplomacy at first and you didn't choose to follow the right path but rather follow the tricksters, it must come to an end.” The Paladin reached downwards, pointing a sword at the Princesses and their army.
> A couple of the guys on your side let out a loud cheer.
> You simply rolled your eyes.
> The Princess looked as if she was about to say something but one of the purple squishy creatures galloped forward.
> “Celestia and Luna have saved this land and its denizens more times than anypony could count!”
> A couple of cheers came from their side.
> The purple one continued.
> “We've already tried to explain ourselves yet you refuse to even listen to us. Instead you go on these insane...slaughters and-”
> “They are crusades! The purple heathen must go first!”
“Woah, wait, my fight!”
> “Your petty intentions can be resolved later Anonymous.”
“Petty!?”
> Your biceps bulged briefly.
“Calm down.” You simply whispered patting them lightly.
> You suddenly turned back on the paladin.
“My intentions are not petty! They are the pride of any Muscle-Wizard! We see someone strong, we must fight them, we see a monster, we must fight it, at any given moment we must show our strength!”

continue (y/n)

>>29040460
>> None of them even held a candle to the power yo possessed.
fuck no
> The Muscle-wizard.
kill yourself, master autism
>>29040466
n

>>29040490
Alright.

>>29040466
y
>>29040490
don't listen to him, ik want to see where it goes

>>29040466
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

>>29040466
>>29040466
> The Paladin growled and turned his sword on you.
> “Silence! I don't even know why the King requested us to work with you!”
> You could hear one of the squishy creatures crack a joke but you were currently facing down both the stares of the army you had traveled with and the army of the Princesses.
> “You don't follow our rules, our customs, you don't even worship our god. You're a ridiculous, bumbling fool!”
> You folded your arms over your chest.
“A fool?”
> “Yes.” The Archer stepped up this time, taking a place next to the Paladin.
“That is what you take me for?”
> “He's right...” The Cleric stepped forward this time. “ You haven't lifted a hand to help with the crusades, all you do is drink and wrestle wolves! You're just a leech, someone who tags along to-”
> Okay, so maybe you didn't partake as much as you had suggested earlier.
> In fact the only reason you were the one talking to the Princesses was the fact that you had pushed the Paladin away and stepped up.
> There was a pause, even the squishy creatures and their princesses watching with mild amusement.
“Seek out the strong-”
> “No, don't start, you hitchhike off of the glory of our success.” The Cleric suddenly added.
“What!? No!”
> “Yes!” The Paladin pointed his sword at you. “Anonymous is now as much as an enemy as the followers of the false gods!”
> You took a step away from what had been your comrades and one-step closer to the Princesses and their army.
> The Paladin suddenly pointed the sword down and directly at the large, white Princess.
> “I want her head!”
> A cheer rose from the soldiers you had once been apart of.
> Ah yes.
> Well.
> You turned back to the Princesses and their army.
> They looked...afraid, which made sense.
> These guys weren't anything to scoff at, those five alone had taken down whole nations, crippled armies, prevented the end of the world more times than you could even remember.

>>29040839
> And these creatures.
> The...ponies you think.
> They weren't made to fight, not like these guys.
> Might as well.
> The Paladin pointed his sword to the sky, getting ready to scream out at the top of his lungs for glory.
> But that didn't happen because a green blur suddenly slammed into him.
> Before even you knew what you were doing you had the Paladin lifted over your head.
> “L-Let me go!”
> With a roar you dropped down, bringing him downwards and onto your knee.
> A sickening crack rose above the air as the Paladins let out a shrill screech.
> You threw him to the side.
> The world was already a blur as you sprinted to the rest of the crew before they could react.
> The Archer drew her bow, already slinking an arrow back.
> With a growl you ducked forward, leading the charge with your shoulders.
> Time was funny.
> It seemed to never decide if it wanted to go too slow, or too fast in situations like this.
> Right now?
> Too slow.
> You could see everything.
> The rage on the human troops faces.
> The fear on the squshies faces.
> The Beserker drawing his massive sword, a creepy grin spreading across his face.
> The Mage already beginning to chant a spell.
> The Clerics hands becoming enveloped with a warm, yellow light.
> And then the Princesses, already shouting orders to their men.
> Oh shit!
> You ducked down, just barely avoiding the swing of the Beserker.
> You nudged yourself to the side, avoiding the Mages spell.
> Now you were smack dab in the middle of the four heroes.
> You planted your heel into the ground firmly.
> Your massive body skidded to a stop, the four heroes suddenly turning and looking down at you.
> “How'd he-”
> Before he could finish you suddenly popped upwards, spinning your frame from your heel.
> ….
> “Is that really it-?”
> A tunnel of wind suddenly blew outwards from where you stood, the four heroes being tossed into the air like they were nothing more than mere specs of dirt.

>>29040864
> As their limp forms went spiraling into the air you placed your hands on your hips and let out a boisterous laugh.
“I win again!”
> The Princess you hadn't even talked to just stared at you silently before letting out a loud sigh. “M-Move in!”
“No need!”
> You put a massive hand up to stop them in their tracks.
> You popped your knuckles, looking at the mass of men before you.
“Show me your strength!”
> You rushed forward, grabbing hold of one of the soldiers at the front-lines.
> You lifted him upwards, locking one leg into your arm.
> He squirmed in your grasp but to you it simply felt like the buzz of a fly.
> You locked your other arm into his leg, now effectively keeping his pelvis in your face.
> With a victorious roar you dipped downwards.
> CRACK!
> The soldier went silent, a frothing mouth and occasional twitch of the arm signaling that he was still alive.
> You got back up, already going to grab another soldier.
> They scattered, the whole army turning away from you.
“Yes!”
> You struck a herculean pose.
“Run! Run away from the strong!”
> The squishies were already rounding up what they could of the army, the ones with wings taking off into the air to scout them out while the magic users simply grabbed hold of them.
> You simply smiled to yourself.
> Actually you were freaking out.
> It was only this easy because you got the drop on the heroes.
> They probably would've actually killed you had you not caught them by surprise.
> Speed does a little more than kill eh?
> How did you even know that?
> Oh well.
> Now it was time to fuck off into the forest while these lot rebuilt what your kind had destroyed.
> A happy end-
> Something tightened around your wrist.
> You glanced down just in time to catch a golden chain and cuffs forming around your wrists and ankles.
“What!? I helped you!”
> Suddenly the chains began to yank downwards, the sheer surprise of it catching you off guard and dragging you to the ground.

>>29040892
> You feel to your knees, a loud 'thud' accompanying your fall.
> “Keep him steady!”
> The flapping of wings filled the air as one of the Princesses approached you.
> The dark blue squishy.
> She trotted in front of you, a defiant glare meeting your own gaze.
> You shot her a toothy smile.
“So uh, funny joke, free me now please?”
> “Transport him to the Canterlot dungeons, make sure his cell has runes placed to prevent escape, I want somepony feeding magic into the chains at all times, he does not get water, he does not get food, he doesn't even get to use the restroom until I have a word with him.”
> She turned a glare on you.
> And then her gaze softened.
“Go to sleep.”
> Her horn began to glow with a soft white light.
> It...reminded you of home.
> Specifically, your bed.
> When you were younger of course.
> Before you could even grow a mustache.
> ….A disgraceful time.
> Sleepy-time.
> The world went dark.

> “You will bow before me mortal!”
> Zierach the infinite demon stood before you.
> You couldn't even began to describe his form because it was like….infinite.
> This demon had slaughtered millions of innocent universes, bought waves of despair in others, and killed many powerful heroes of your time and many others.
> You were gonna suplex this guy lol.
> “I am infinity, I am life, I am death, I am, uh, hey what the hell are you doing!?”
> You hefted him over your head like he was nothing, gripping tightly onto his infinite form.
> With a mighty roar your leapt backwards.
> “No! I am sorry!”
“Goodbye!”
> “Curse you and your awesome pecs Anonymous!”
> You were going to suplex infinity itself!

> Suddenly a cold feeling washed over your face.
> With a grunt you sat upwards, instantly snapping your attention around the room.
> You were in a cobblestone cell of some sort, the chains still wrapped around you.
> Hmm…
> You glanced downwards, catching what appeared to be a mystical rune etched into the floor.

>>29040928
All I can do at the moment, got a lot of errands to run. I'll continue tonight and get it out of the way.

Er...sorry if the story is boring or just low-quality or anything like that, if it is I don't want keep throwing shit at your face. So like let me know or something I guess.

Sorry for the pause.

>>29039702
this

>>29040943
Im having fun reading it.

>>29040460
my only intention for this thread was to make a write prompt to inspire people to write green.
Becase reading green makes me write green.

um

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>>29037160

>>29040943
This is good, you've certainly got my attention.

>>29039769
>>29039321
sauce?