Writefags' Guild

>>29013516
Tips and links:

Things you should know about before writing clop:
Vhatug’s tips for anatomically correct clop and squash soup:
http://pastebin.com/g4VpEg4f

http://www.literotica.com/s/erotic-synonyms (Because using dick, balls, and pussy just isn’t enough to get the reader off. Remember, the reader cums first.)
Had to. Puns are awesome.

Things you should know about writing:
Clever’s Tips on How to Write Short Stories: http://pastebin.com/GGBkxi7e
How to into writing: http://pastebin.com/V1ujiyJt
Writing rules from Navarone: http://pastebin.com/bnMmZ2T3
Ezn’s Guite to writing Fanfiction: http://eznguide.neocities.org/
Writing Book for beginners: https://mega.co.nz/#F!pwo21SKA!dljqCUmOhkwLX3x9_ApEgQ
Help for creating OC characters: http://www.dawnsomewhere.com/ocguide/

A few authors from different threads should you seek inspiration from their stories:
Flutterrape general’s writers: http://pastebin.com/eG8iY7Wy
Active AiE general writers: http://pastebin.com/mVG33ERX
PiE general’s writers: http://pastebin.com/Mgd0QuNy

>“How do I cure my writer’s block?”
Magic.
>“FUCK YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION!”
There’s no one way to cure it, but, if you can’t write, you may as well read stories. There’s more to writing than writing; there’s reading too, and that helps. Check some of the links above.
Try the following (keep in mind this won’t work for everyone):
-Figure out when it’s the best time for you to write.
-Fap then write*.
-Write anyway, and allow yourself to write shitty stories. More often than not, the block is the fear of it being bad. That’s what editing is for.
-Seriously, drink coffee. It’s a writer’s best friend.
-Listen to music while writing.

*Unless you’re writing clop, then listen to your boner.

>>29013521
Here’s some more stuff that didn’t fit in the second post.

A couple writing podcasts:
http://www.writingexcuses.com/
http://typehammer.com/podcast/

An archive of how to write pretty much anything:
https://curiosityquills.com/limyaael/

An idea generator:
http://writers-den.pantomimepony.co.uk/writers-first-lines.php

A worldbuilding forum:
http://worldbuilding.stackexchange.com/

And we're back

Yo, Guts, I saw that you had something in the last thread, but it went down before I got a chance to look at it. Mind re-posting?

Good morning

What are some of the characteristics of poetic prose?

>>29015779
Some sort of meter, primarily.

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Bumping with this, because people seem to like it

How do I write without smoking? Way back when before I took my hiatus, I rewarded myself with a smoke every X pages (sometimes 1, sometimes 2-3). Now, I quit about 3 months ago, but I also decided to try getting back into writing.

Anyone deal with this?

>>29017402
Just do it. Maybe find some other way to reward yourself

>>29017402
Might you reward yourself with whatever good thing you're using in place of smoking?

Have any of you guys tried writing for other mediums that aren't greentext? Comics? Fan-games? If so, how is it different than writing greentext?

If you haven't, would you write for other pony related media given the opportunity?

>>29019559

I'm not. I stopped smoking because I developed costochondritis, which causes chest pains. So I used fear (DUDE YOU ARE HAVING A HEART ATTACK) to quit.

I dunno how that could translate into writing.

>>29019752
Oh. Well, so by quitting smoking, you conquered your fear of a heart attack. Could you harness the confidence that surely came from that? You know, the "if I can do this hard thing, then I can do anything" mindset.

>>29017402
>tfw completely and 100% sober on nicotine, alcohol, drugs, and even fucking caffeine because I don't like shot messing with my brain.
>it's also because I personally know two people who went from smoking to drinking to pot to hard drugs entirely separate from each other. One almost killed himself in overdose and the other is a homeless meth addict.
>took 2 ibuprofen for a migraine tonight and it's the first painkiller I've had in years
Feels good man, but normie friends don't get it.

Anyways, I'm over 7000 words in on a fic now, and wanna post it here for feedback and criticism. Fairly new to /mlp/, don't know the etiquette for these threads. Should I just link the PB or start dumping green?

>>29019931
>Posting the story directly in the thread is preferred over a link to Pastebin, FiMFiction, etc.
That's what the op says so might as well post the thing but if that's to much jest a link to PB will do.

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Just a reminder that anyone who wants to can try their hand and write a short just for this thread to have it critiqued. Writing is a skill that has to be developed! Even if you've never done it before you may find you really like it!

>>29020732

On that note, I've been stewing on this idea for a while now. Premise is HiE in a sprawling forest/jungle, decidedly not Everfree. Human survives for an expansive amount of time (possibly ~10 years) in said jungle while interacting with local fauna and flora without contact to pone. Kills sapient creatures without knowing/realising they are sapient and endeavours to find any form of civilisation while stuck in magic forest land and handling issues, magical and mundane. Pony contact will come pretty late in the piece but I wanted to try and write about how a person with a reasonable amount of luck could build a whole slew of cool shit with 10 years in a magical forest to survive and thrive.

Anyway, point is I thought that while deciding some plot points regarding pone interaction, I sort of made an investigation report interview that is a minor plot point but would be pretty much unseen in the main story. I was thinking of using it way down the line as part of a interlude chapter that focuses the pony contact which would relate to an incident in the previous chapter but not the one mentioned in the report. I ended up just sort of writing it out though so I was thinking I could maybe use it as the first chapter instead, sort of like a hook I guess.

I haven't really written anything before but I'm just autistic enough to read pony fanfiction so I guess this isn't much of a stretch.

>>29021248
Document Id #23515
Missing Griffons Investigation - Redclaw of Stillwater Lake
Transcript of Interview - 'JD', Griffon
Recorded 12/Lun/2506

NOTE: Interviewee name is currently unknown; Known aliases - 'JD'
NOTE: All information regarding 'JD' prior to 2472 has been restricted by a class 8 military order from General Ironsight.


BEGIN TRANSCRIPT
S. Drifter: This interview is being recorded by Corporal Steadyclaw in accordance with the 2383 Documentation Reform, Section 6:42. My name is Sergeant Drifter, currently attached to Willowwood Grove military outpost. The time is 6 minutes past 11, the date is the 12th of the Lunar Cycle, 2506. The other military personnel present are Corporal Steadyclaw, attached to Willowwood Grove military outpost as scribe and...
C. Gayle: Corporal Gayle, from Willowwood Grove Military Outpost.
P. Gretila: Private Gretila, also from Willowwood Grove Military Outpost.
S. Drifter: We are in room 17, Willowwood Grove Military Outpost. This transcript may be used as evidence if this case is brought to trial. Do you understand that?
JD: Yeah.
S. Drifter: Can you confirm that there are only 5 individual in the room?
JD: Yeah.
S. Drifter: I will remind you that you have the right to independent legal advice, do you still not wish to obtain any form of legal council?
JD: I'll speak for myself.
S. Drifter: Can you state your name for the record?
JD: JD.
S. Drifter: Your full name please?
JD: JD is it. Has been for 30 years. If that's not good enough for ya, might as well arrest me right now. Gives ya a rather short interview though, so it'll be quicker for us both if ya just skip this part.
S. Drifter: I won't be coerced, state your full name or I will have you placed under arrest for obstructing the investigation of a missing griffon and we can continue this conversation in Featherfall Keep.

>>29021261
JD: Ha, you ain't that persuasive either, son. I knew this would happen. Well, can't blame a old griffon for tryin'. Here, give th-
S. Drifter: Claws where I can see them! Now!
JD: Easy there, soldier. It's just paper.
S. Drifter: Paper containing what?
JD: A writ from Ironsight. Read it, I'll wait.
S. Drifter: Are you referring to General Ironsight?
JD: He's an acquaintance, let's leave it at that.
S. Drifter: ... I'll be checking its legitimacy.
JD: Go ahead, I'll be wantin' when you're done, though.
S. Drifter: Corporal Gayle.
C. Gayle: Sergeant?
S. Drifter: Run this through standard forgery detection and tampering procedures, if this paper was ever sneezed on, I want to know about it.
C. Gayle: Yes, Sergeant.
JD: So, what do you wanna chat about while we wait, Sarge?
S. Drifter: Until Corporal Gayle returns, you'll be sitting quietly and praying that I don't arrest you for forgery.
JD: True enough. Sometimes, silence is all you need to enjoy each others company.
S. Drifter: Say another word and you won't enjoy the outcome.
S. Drifter: And?
C. Gayle: It looks clean, Sergeant. Here's the full report from upstairs.
S. Drifter: ... Alright, your writ seems legitimate but I'll be confirming this after we're done. Stated for the record, in accordance with the writ provided, the griffon known as 'JD' has the right to deny answering questions pertaining to his identity he deems reasonable. Corporal Gayle, return this document and resume your post.
JD: Cheers, lass.
S. Drifter: Alright then 'JD', during the course of this session, I'll be asking questions regarding the disappearance of a griffon last seen in your company, one Redclaw of Stillwater Lake. Are you fit to answer these questions?
JD: Yeah.
S. Drifter: Redclaw was last seen with you heading into the Unmarked Forests on the 9th of the Cooling, approximately 10 weeks ago, is this correct?
JD: Yeah.

>>29021267
S. Drifter: Why did you and Redclaw decide to enter the Unmarked Forests?
JD: I was hired. My job was to get him to the middle and back in one piece, first part was easy enough but he got himself killed when we got there, made part two a bit harder.
S. Drifter: Do you know why Redclaw chose you out of all the available trackers?
JD: Ha! 'Probly wanted the best, I reckon. I've been deep into those forests more than a few times and I find my way back. More than I can say for some trackers, at least.
S. Drifter: What made Redclaw hire a tracker to guide him through the Unmarked Forests?
JD: I imagine you 'probly heard the rumours 'bout that Demon Ape?
S. Drifter: Yes.
JD: Yeah, well, Redclaw wanted to put it down. Killed his brother, he said.
S. Drifter: His brother?
JD: Yeah, his brother wanted to become a four star tracker 'parently, he-
S. Drifter: Like you?
JD: Heh, you knew? They give the youngin's a... uhh... a test. Like exam, a' sorts. Somethin' to test their mettle, make sure they're up to the job. My guess? He was sent into the forest to do somethin'.
S. Drifter: So, you think Redclaws brother took this exam and somehow ended up meeting the Demon Ape?
JD: That's the story best I could figure.
S. Drifter: Did Redclaw say why he suspected the Demon Ape of having killed his brother?
JD: Nah, well, nothin' solid at least. He said somethin' 'bout a dragon.
S. Drifter: You got a name for that dragon?
JD: He never mentioned it, I never asked.
S. Drifter: Hmm. So you both went into the forest to track the Demon Ape, is that correct?.
JD: Yeah.
S. Drifter: Walk me through it. What did you do first?
JD: What, everythin'? Prep as well?

>>29021274
S. Drifter: Yes. Everything about how you came into the employ of Redclaw and what happened thereafter.
JD: Yeah a'right, fine. Came to me 'bout four months ago, said he wanted to find somethin'. Somethin' livin' in those forests. Wanted to make it dead. I wasn't really fussed 'bout what he wanted to do in there. He wanted a guide so came to the best. I gave 'im the rates; 30 grand upfront, 'nother 15 if we made it back. Heh, guess I won't be seein' that money anytime soon. Anyway, he paid up and I started the prep. Long trips like that ain't easy to pack for. 'Specially escortin' a non-tracker. Far as prep goes, it was pretty standard for me, less standard for him. Had to get a slew of antidotes and remedies for the things ya see in there; poison, venom, magical infection, you name it. Usually I don't bother with most of 'em past my reserve stash but ya can't take chances when you're takin' some unqualified griffon with ya. Had to get a new sky perch as well, that took the longest. Cost the most too. They only make garbage these days I'll tell ya that, 20 years ago I coulda' got a sky perch twice as good for what I had to pay to those seagulls.
S. Drifter: So you stood to make 45 thousand bits on the completion of this expedition? That seems like an awfully large sum of money for a simple escort request.
JD: Yer a military cock, ain'tcha? You'd have a better idea than most 'bout this sort'a trip. This wasn't fledglings play time in the woods. Hard enough keeping yourself alive in there. 'Sides, a third of that money I got went to supplies for the hunt. You should know how far ten grand goes when ya looking for decent equipment, it ain't ever as far as ya want.
S. Drifter: Even so, that's still roughly 20 thousand bits in your possession.

>>29021279
JD: You ain't been an interrogator long, 'ave ya, son? If I wanted Redclaw dead, there're better ways than heading into the forest and wastin' three months to do it. I'd've poisoned him early on, slow actin'. Used that as cover for cuttin' our stay short. When we got closer to town, run him into a manticore lair to get mauled. Idiot client poisoned himself and ran into manticores while delirious. Sounds more believable than the truth, sadly enough. Maybe he'd even survive. Net me an extra 15 grand. Save my self a few months in the forest and end up 'bout as suspicious as now. All it would cost is my reputation.
S. Drifter: Your reputation?
JD: 4 star tracker can't even keep his client from gettin' poisoned in a forest? Heh, how embarrassin'.
S. Drifter: Alright, fine, so you got the supplies for your hunt. Then what?
JD: Redclaw got what ever he had to sort, sorted and we went in. Took 'bout a week to get deep enough into the forest. Set up the sky perch a few days later. After that? Not much happened, for a while anyway. Just searchin'. Couldn't find anythin' to go off so I widened the search area. Moved the base site 'bout once fortnight. Covered a lot of ground but it still took 2 months to find a trail. Found it eventually though, I always do.
S. Drifter: Two months?
JD: It doesn't leave much to go off while it's movin' but I've been trackin' monsters and beasts since before you'ere hatched. Ain't nothin' I can't find, even Demon Apes.
S. Drifter: This Demon Ape, describe it to me.

>>29021285
JD: Heh, Demon Ape's 'bout right. Damn tall, least as big as a minotaur without the horns. Stood like one as well, up on it's hind legs. Not hunched over like a normal ape. It had glowin' eyes, gold or orange, couldn't tell ya which. From what I could see, it looked sickly and thin, patchy fur, most of it missin'. If it ever had a full coat, it 'probly fell out after whatever dark magic gave it those eyes, they ain't natural that's for sure. 'Part from the all the skin it was wearing, pretty tame far as demons go, all things considered. Those skins got Redclaw riled up though I'll tell ya, tried to calm him but he went berserk. Said he was gonna shred that demon apart with his bare claws, flew straight at it. Last idea he ever had was a damn stupid one, I'll tell ya that. There are two ways you get to keep livin' in that forest. You either be good at runnin' or good at killin', and it didn't look like the runnin' type to me.
S. Drifter: It was wearing the pelts of it's victims? Do you have any idea why Redclaw was enraged by that? Was it was wearing Redclaw's brothers skin?
JD: Nah, maybe even worse than that, though. It was wearin' some fusion of manticore, changelin', and dragon grafted together somehow. 'Probly some other poor bastards too, wouldn't surprise me. I guess 'cause it lost its fur, it started to wear the pelt of the things it killed instead. I ain't ever seen Discord before but if I didn't know better, I'd say this is how he started off. It did have a few feathers on it's side thinkin' back, maybe a griffons. Couldn't tell you if they were Redclaws brothers though.
S. Drifter: So Redclaw flew in to attack, then what?
JD: Then he died. He screeched so loudly the entire forest must have heard him. Soon as that Demon Ape spotted him, he didn't get much further.
S. Drifter: How did the Demon Ape kill Redclaw?

>>29021288
JD: It's got some sort'a magical artefact, I ain't ever seen anything like it. It's as loud as thunder and tears a hole though whatever it's pointed at. It tore through Redclaw pretty easy at least.
S. Drifter: So you left Redclaw to die at the mercy of this monster?
JD: You ain't listenin' to me, son. Redclaw was dead before he hit the ground. I ain't stupid enough try stop a dead griffon gettin' deader. Redclaw found what he wanted, I wasn't paid to die.
S. Drifter: Tell me about the magical artefact the Demon Ape had.
JD: Not much more I can tell ya. It held it in it's hand, pointed it at Redclaw and when it went off, Redclaw died. I didn't feel like flyin' down to ask 'pecifics.
S. Drifter: What did you do once Redclaw was killed then?
JD: Ha! You ain't been out in the field much either. Here's a bit of advice, son. You find yourself in an unwinnable fight: you hide and pray you don't get found. I've seen griffons preach about the honor of battle 'til they took a claw to the throat or a knife to the back. That's why it's me here talkin' and not them. In life you'll find times to keep your head down or fight, and the only fight that's worth asking for is an unfair one, stacked in your favour. I'll give ya two guesses, what'd'ya reckon I did?
S. Drifter: You ran.
JD: Damn right I did.
S. Drifter: What did the Demon Ape do once it killed Redclaw?
JD: It looked around, like it was searchin' for somethin', 'probly me. Pretty sure it saw me while Redclaw tried to attack it. When he flew in I left that hiding spot quiet as I could. You go into that forest often enough and ya get pretty good at stayin' unseen, or your family gets an empty casket at your funeral. I stayed out outta sight but I reckon it knew I was still around. Things that live there get pretty good at hide'n'seek.
S. Drifter: So, if it was looking for you, how did you escape?

>>29021292
>>29021292
JD: I didn't, it left. Slung Redclaws body over it's shoulder and walked away, I didn't follow. Twenty minutes later I flew off back to base, packed up, and left. I burned the feather I took from Redclaw that night. Wasn't much of a funeral but it's least a griffon deserves. Hope his brother got at least one burned as well, somehow I doubt it.
S. Drifter: How did you get one of Redclaws feathers? You stated you left the area where he died and his corpse was taken.
JD: I took it before we went in, standard fair on any dangerous contract. Any decent trackers'll tell ya, if you hire us for an escort, means your gonna die without us. We try and stop the dyin' part. We're good but we ain't miracle makers.
S. Drifter: That's enough for today. We'll be in touch to clarify some details but this is fine for a preliminary statement. Before we finish, did you have anything else to mention regarding what happened to Redclaw or any further details about the Demon Ape and it's weapon? Any insight you have could be vital to the next encounter with it.
JD: You want my advice, son? Leave well enough alone. Long as its got that weapon, you try and find it and I can tell ya what's gonna happen. You'll end up like Redclaw and his brother; a demon's new feathery pillow attached to a free snack. This Demon Ape's ain't no normal monster, it's resourceful, smart, and cautious; just 'bout everythin' you don't want a monster to have. That thing is bad news, son, and lookin' for it's as good as suicide, if it wasn't on guard before I'll bet my beak it will be now. It's deep in the forest now and looks like it's stayin' there but if anyone else goes to bother it, don't be surprised if that skin walker starts tryin' ta find more skin to walk around in.
S. Drifter: Thank you for your time. If you'll follow Private Gretila, she'll see you out.
END TRANSCRIPT

>>29020106
The OP says so, but I think I heard littleguy say he prefers PB since it has line numbers (and since he's our main critic that might be something to take into account). I know I prefer PB or anything else with line numbers myself when it comes to critiquing.

>>29021397
Hmmm... alright i see what you mean. line numbers would be useful for pointing out flaws

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>>29020106
>>29021397
>>29021421
Here's PB. All criticism appreciated. If you notice wording errors or typos let me know. They rarely find their way into my writing but I never go back and check.

http://pastebin.com/pUGK5fhy

>>29022514

>>29022895
kek at the gif

>>29020732
You're such a nerd, Twilight.

>>29024305
of course

>>29021302
I like the idea you're working with, and I like what you wrote here. From the get-go, it looks like an authentic report, which I appreciated. A couple things stood out to me, though.

I think you're spending too much time on his name. You can demonstrate his connection to the general, as well as his general lack of regard for the interviewer, more easily. With the name conflict, it looked like a big deal being made of something pretty small.

I think you're trying too hard in the first post to make JD into the contrarian character. He doesn't have to explain so much on his reluctance to use his full name.

Early on, Drifter says that he won't be coerced, implying that he's specifically intending to be the one in control of the conversation. When JD hands him that slip of paper, though, he immediately brings the interview to a standstill to have it verified. Those things take time (more than you gave it), and, moreover, I would think that paper would have come out before the interview, probably in all the initial processing.

When you have JD go on about how easily he could have Redclaw killed, I thought it weird how Drifter doesn't jump on it. He has a suspiciously detailed idea at the ready on how to murder someone; isn't it Drifter's job to follow a lead like that? He should be raking JD over the coals for that kind of talk.

On a more impressionistic note, I'm seeing a pretty big cliché in JD. I've seen the casual, down-talking specialist plenty of times, and would advise finding some way to embellish him. Give his dialogue more flavor than just mild to moderate condescension.

>>29022895
I will have a critique for that on Monday.

>>29025510
Thanks for the feedback.

JD's character isn't super important in the story so I didn't mind making him a bit of a cliché but I guess I wasn't really planning for him to be a caricature. If he does show up again in any meaningful way later on it likely won't be for long. He wouldn't really be present in the narrative describing the death of Redclaw. Not for long at least because as he mentioned, he hid pretty quickly so he would have only been seen for a second or two.

I had a little paragraph backstory for him worked out so I could try and make sure that I wasn't warping him to fit the interview but perhaps I didn't go as well as suspected. The gist was he is ex-military, was dishonourably discharged (related to the letter), and he knows the ins and outs of these sort of scenarios. At the beginning he was trying to disrupt the interview to take more control of the situation since he hates fighting on uneven playing fields (for him) which he sort of alludes to later on.

On that note, I imagined the checking of the document took some amount of time but given that this was more of a transcript, I only wrote things that were actually said and not so much things that actually happened. I guess it looks like it was instant but I hadn't imagined it to be. I'm not actually sure how I would get around that. That being said...

You're probably right about the note coming up earlier. I could probably have Drifter mention it at the beginning of the interview as a known item and find some other way for JD to be disruptive since the fact that he has history isn't really important to the interview but it is to his character so it doesn't really mean that much in context.

Looking back, I see what you mean about Drifter pretty much glossing over a pretty detailed murder plan. I should try and find a proper way to further explore that in the context of the interview without making straying too far from the reason for the investigation.