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>It's been 2 years since you have been transported to

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>It's been 2 years since you have been transported to Equestria
>It's nothing close to what you expected.
>You have been alienated, embarrassed, ridiculed, and even beaten.
>Rough times are behind you, and even rougher ahead of you
>Friendship is Magic
>It's a cute thought
>But that's all it is
>A thought
>An idea
>But even if it was a reality
>Who would want to be friends with a hairless ape like you
>The shelters don't even take you any more
>It "ruins" their reputation to be harboring you
>Lately, you have been sleeping under bridges, in the lowest living conditions possible
>You stink
>You're hungry
>You're exhausted
>You don't have a soul to talk to
>Everything has been an endless struggle since the day you got to this nightmare
>The worst part is the crippling loneliness
>No pony would even give you a chance to speak
>Your mind has been broken
>Your heart aches without friendly contact
>You are going to die alone, in this cold, unforgiving "paradise"

What do /mlp/?
Can you fix it?
How do you turn your life around?
>>
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>>28974249
I don't know if the case you described to me would happen.
By nature I'm anti-social, so I dont' know if loneliness would be an issue for me.
I'm not Les Stroud “Survivorman”, but I am comfortable outdoors, and building a semi permanent shelter in the woods sounds like a vacation to me.

But if I was in the scenario you described stinky, hungry and exhausted and found my self in Equestria, short term I would live as a hobo, digging through ponies' trashcans every night for food, and building supplies.
If I could find a way into the local dump I would setup camp there. Lots of junk to scavenge, compost to use for a garden, and even a fence to keep the Hydras and Timberwolves out.

Long term I would set up a personal garden and shack just outside of town. Not because I want to be close to the ponies. More just in case I have a stream of more bad luck and need to start looting their trash again.
>>
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Easy.
>Find a way to use magic
>Become wizard
>Use mind control spell
>Everyone likes me
>Live good life in 'Questria with my waifu.
>>
>>28974249
>get wagon
>become gipsy
>lie, steal, scam
>abduct little fillys and sell them to other species
>>
>>28974479
You'd become a very skilled hobo?
But famalam...how will you score pony puss?

I mean you'll survive, but no puss for you.
>>
>>28974526
Would that breed more mistrust and lead to you becoming an even bigger social pariah?
>>
>>28974510
>Become super villain
>Rape one pony for years.
>Expect no repercussions.

But how do you even know you can learn magic famalam?
>>
>>28974249
>Wait for Twilight to leave her friendship castel one night.
>Break in through big front door. (I dont recall there being any locks on it)
>find way to the back of the castel,
>find one of the many rooms Twilight appear to never use.
>Set up camp there, Camp Ponies Suck Ass
>find an abandoned dresser, remove its back, place it in front of the door to Camp Ponies Suck Ass.
> live like a giant alien Barrower living in the castle of friend ship.
>over the weeks, months and years slowly remove all the locks from all the windows and doors.
>If they ever find you simply crawl back in through a window and set up came somewhere else.
>>
>>28974565
meh just cutting my looses and moving on
im already the bottom of the barrel anyways
>>
>Hands
>Manual labor
>Without magic
>>
>>28974572
>But how do you even know you can learn magic famalam?
>Rape a magically gifted unicorn or a princess until they use magic to give me magic
A truly flawless plan.
>>
>>28974249
R A P E
A
P
E
>>
>>28974624
>Rape a magically gifted unicorn or a princess until they use magic to give me magic

But....Anon....I don't think it's that simple...unless.....are you pic related?
>>
>>28974559
For me survival is enough.
I had similar conversations. “What would you do in a post apocalyptic world?”
And I'm content with “just surviving”
Friendship, pony puss, and hopes of restoring the life I once had are luxuries to me, not necessities.
Would my life be better with them? Probably
Can I survive without them? Definitly.
>>
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>>28974638
Anything is possible if you're autistic enough.
>>
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>>28974249
>Walk around loudly wondering why everyone is acting so OOC
>Leave Ponyville and GET CONFIDENCE from Iron Will
>Become the center point of a twenty minute episode where two or more of the main characters deal with me being an overconfident asshat
>Ends in friendship

What? Were you expecting a revenge fic? But that's edgy, OP.
>>
>>28974767
All I wanted was answers.

Also Iron will doesn't work for free. Your plan sucks.
>>
>>28974651
fair enough, I mean it would work but it'd suck balls.
>>
>>28974779
He doesn't take advance payment and he has a 100% satisfaction or your money back guarantee.

Watch the show some time, faggot.
>>
>>28974796
but you would be satisfied would you not?

I mean if your plan is to get your ass beat by a minotaur then go right ahead, all I'm saying is no money = no services.

If you look homeless why would he help you?
>>
>>28974807
Advertising.

>"IF IRON WILL'S TECHNIQUE WORKS EVEN ON AN UNLOVABLE, HOMELESS HAIRLESS MONKEY. THEY WILL WORK FOR ANYONE."

Really, it's a rehash of the episode and guaranteed to work.
>>
>>28974825
>Really, it's a rehash of the episode and guaranteed to work.


I guess but how is being an ass going to help you?
>>
>>28974832
>I've never seen the episode!
I'm going to stop here.
>>
>>28974849
I did see the episode, and made fluttercuck lease of a beta.

But how will this help you not be homeless?
>>
>>28974249
>2 years, and I still didn't compare this to Zecora's original situation and go to AB, who's incapable of such unfair judgement, for help
What's wrong with me? Did I not watch the show, or something?
>>
>>28974925
I mean you must not of, or went to college either.
>>
>>28974249
>It's been 2 years since you have been transported
Thats enough for me
I dont care if Im being tortured daily or if my waifu cheats on me with a zebra
Im in fucking Equestria
>>
>Put on robe
>cover face
>walk on all fours
>become a serf
>overthrow the manor's lord
>become lord of the manor
>rule serfs.
>>
>>28974249
>Go bug Sectors to teach me potion making skills.
Or
>Find library and read about different supernatural herbs and shit.
Then
>Gather up some rare stuff from Everfree.
>Make potions that could legitimately help the mostly Earth pony town that is Ponyville.
>Sell potions until I can get a cart.
>Roam all of Equestria collecting rare plants and selling potions.
>>
>>28975078
>Sectors
*Zecora
>>
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>>28974510
>Go to Equestria
>Become meme wizard
>Shitpost the sweetest maymays so much that the ponies think you're a lovable goofball
>tfw you're really using memetic hypnosis to make them your friends
>>
I guess I may as well kill myself, or try to get a hearing with the princess to see if she can transform me into a pony.
>>
>>28974249
Go directly to Canterlot. I'm obviously not the first non-pony to be mistreated, and Celestia is by far the most mature and understanding pony around.
>>
>Find a leper colony
>Convince them that I am a supernatural being sent by a higher power to free them from their suffering
>Become A Leper Messiah
>???
>PROFIT!
>>
>>28974559
After establishing fairly permanent residence, wait for damsel in distress, save pony, tell them to think nothing of it, return to my business, wait for response.
>>
>>28976405
*bows*
>>
>>28974249
Let me tell you one story of an Anon who experienced this and came out for the better.

http://pastebin.com/rN3m6hcS
>>
>Use my technical knowledge to plagiarize human technology
>Patent said technology
>Become the alien Andrew Carnegie of Equestria
>Snort coke off a hookers ass
>>
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>>28974249
Survival necessities: Shelter, Water, Food

>Food is plentiful at least. Lots of vegetables in the fields, just don't get greedy.
>The small prey animals are also pretty stupid. Rabbits are good eating. Not to be done often, and only way out deep in the Everfree, and you bury everything afterwards. Ponies fear you enough already.
>Mostly unafraid about the Everfree; too big for timberwolves to consider you a meal, plus you can make a torch sends them running. Avoid manticore and hydra-rich areas, but otherwise there are plenty of quiet, private spots that you can set up a shelter, just do it near as clean a water source as you can find. Steal a pot and boil your drinking water.
>Could also consider the old abandonned castle out there. Creepy as fuck, but solid.

Attempts to fix social problem:
>Make contact with Zecora, if only at a distance and very carefully. Be helpful when you see her- she's a lot more grounded than ponies are so she is one of the best chances.
>Discord is a possibility, but he is hard to gauge.
>Diamond Dogs. Man's best friend, now slightly smarter and capable of speech. They sure act doglike, might be able to make yourself part of the pack. Humans were cavedwellers for a long time, after all.
>Griffs are assholes. Maybe they'd like you, who knows. You could get a lot more red meat in your diet, at least.

And if all else fails, self-immolate in the ponyville square.
>>
>>28976488
Discord would probably like you if you could handle the bantz.
>>
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>>28974249
>Work my ass off and get /fit/ it's do or die
>Join the Changlings, Diamond Dogs, or Griffons
>Pledge my allegiance to them and devise a plan to conquer the pony mainland
>War onto the pony heartland and take over Equestria
>If I don't die or loose, then the ponies will be made to love me, out of fear
>Then spend the rest of my days as a warrior slave to Queen Chrysalis, the Diamond Dogs, or Griffons
>>
>>28976549
>warrior slave
Now that's where you fucked up.
You need to become their champion....and then their second in command or high-ranking figure head.

Then you enslave your waifu....
>>
>>28974249
I'm kind of confused as to how I would end up in this situation in general? It seems very OOC, even considering some of the darker headcanon shit that people like to pass around sometimes.

I mean, yes, there were several times where new species were greeted with mistrust, if not outright panic and xenophobia. However in pretty much every case it has ended with friendship, and that's not even talking about the times where race was ignored almost entirely.

Anyway, I would probably just go to petition different governments requesting them to employ me as a scholar/sage/mage or whatever they would want to call it. I've spent enough time learning that I know more about how things work than most people ever will. Even if the physics on their world function on a completley different basis than the physics on Earth, then at least my math knowledge should still be valid. Either way, I have a lot to contribute and I would be quite intrested in learning what I could from them as well.

If I fail to convince anyone how valuable my education and intellectual skillets would be to what appears to be a more or less pre-industrial world, then I would probably just go blow shit up in the woods with handmade explosives. I figure either someone will come and kill me for being a nuisance or ask me to make explosives for them instead. Either option would solve my problems at that point. At the very least I would have fun blowing shit up.

Not even gonna bother going over basic survival because that's rather trivial stuff.
>>
>>28976569
>I'm kind of confused as to how I would end up in this situation in general?
Magic fucked up, maybe. Magic is a bitch that way. Alternately, anything brighter than a raven just somehow knows Anon is not of their universe and his presence just repulses them, kind of like he is surrounded by a field of bad vibes.

It just an angsty shut-in's fantasy; a reason for their failure to fit in that is not their fault.
>>
>>28976598
I dunno, worst case scenario you could still communicate via dead drops, notes, letters, and messages and still have some sort of a social life. Even if it was an abstract one without physical contact.

Unless it's literally one of those sort of things where the universe goes, "No, fuck you, you're not allowed to do that either even though it makes sense."

IF it's the case where no creature of any sort of intelligence will EVER want ANYTHING to do with you or ANYTHING remotely involving you, then I guess you would just embrace life as a recluse.

I mean, double fuck it in that case. I would probably just go full mad alchemist and try to get my hands on any sort of mystic text to learn as much as I could with the end goal of trying to find the secret to immortality so that I have as much time as I please to run experiments and try to achieve enlightenment and inner peace and all that jazz. Even going full litch doesn't sound that bad if nobody will give a rat's ass about your existence either way.
>>
And this is different from my life here in what way exactly?
>>
In Trump's America, money is everything and love is a joke.
>>
>>28976431
I stayed up all night reading that, so I feel I must say thank you and fuck you
>>
>>28974249
So you turn into a master thief and create a network of shops that you sell illigal good to to make dat cash
>>
>>28974888
Because it ends in friendship.
Your a dense one anon.
>>
>>28974249
Whelp, if they won't accept me, then I have two ways to fix it

>Way one: Gather power
This is a world where space and time are like clay to those with enough knowledge, so who says I can't take some for myself? Who says I can't take it all?
>But Muh unicorns.
There are several magical artifacts, it shouldn't be to difficult to find one.
In addition to magic, I could always work my way up in criminal organizations; leadership is a form of power, after all. Failing that, I could always go to the local library and check out a book or two to better understand what magics can and can't be used by a human and other such knowledge.

>Way Two: Raising Hell
Well, if they won't accept me, I might end up dying here. So I might as well go out in style. And fire. If I choose too do this, I'm going to end up causing quite a bit of mayhem; starting fires, punching ponies, feasting on manticore livers, freeing Tirek, convincing Luna to become Nightmare Moon again, and trying several experiments to try and replicate the atomic bomb, just to mention a few things I'd do.
>>
>>28974249
go live with the griffons or zebras instead
>>
>>28974249
Go back to Earth (somehow), buy a cheap AK from some shady African black market dealer, come back and kill everyone in rage.
>>
I'd become rape man.... then fight crime and steal shit from criminals.
>>
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>>28977196
ForeverAlone is the punchline.
>>
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>>28974249
Wyh are you trying to crush our dream anon
>>
>>28974249
I would never let it go that far in the first place. What are you, a beta cuck?

I have skills and knowledge which ponies lack. I would use those to make myself very valuable. Alternatively I'd create my own civilisation, primitive technologies style, till I reach the stars - literally.
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