>"Why, hello there, Anon!" >"Pinkie Pie

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>>28945140
I feel I must warn you of my high skill level in the dark arts, I have spent many a moon harnessing my wizard powers

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>>28945140
*stops dead in tracks*
*spins 360 degrees*
Nobody...
Calls me...
Bitch!

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NOOOO SORCERY IS AN ABOMINATION!

>>28945140
>Little did Twilight know that Anon was actually legendary glad rock sensation David Bowie

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>>28945140
Fine then, HERE'S MY FINAL FORM

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>>28945140
Alright Twilight. But I warn you, I only start a duel by touching horns.

>>28945179
>glad rock
glam + dad ?

>>28945140
Proceeds to cry in my big boy diapers

>>28945246
Proceeds to diaper in fog

>>28945140
"How many times do I have to explain this to you, Twiggles?"
>"Explain, what, Anon?"
>You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose
"I can't do magic, it's a figure of speech."
>She sits down and cocks and cocks and eyebrow at you
>Oh, well then what did she mean?
"It's the same thing as when Applejack told you that I have magic fingers or when Rarity said that I was some sort of enchanter."
>She takes a moment to think it over and nods to herself before looking back to you with a clear look of confusion plastered on her face
>"Ok, I guess I can understand that, but you still haven't told me why they said those things about you!"
>You shake your head
"Did you try asking them what they meant"
>She lets out a sigh of frustration and throws her hooves up in the air
>"Of course I did, but they just laughed and tell me to ask you about it!"
>You sigh again and start moving again
"Look, Twi, I really don't have time for this, I'm gonna be late for work."
>Twilight bolts to her hooves and makes to follow you
>"But—"
"No. No buts, I don't have time right now. If you want to talk about butt stuff then go bug Fluttershy, I have shit to do..."
>You start walking away, resolved to pay her no mind
>Silence reigns for a few brief moments before Twilight's voice rings out from behind you
>"Does that have something to do with when Fluttershy said that you put a spell on her?!"
>You keep walking, studiously ignoring all the nickering laughter coming from either side of the street, meanwhile you silently wonder about how the hell Twilight reached this point in life without being taught about The Birds and the Bees and other such euphemisms

>>28945140
go away changeling

>>28945298
Kek

>>28945298
Meh.

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>>28945298
damn nigga
is he screwing the entire town

>>28945298
More please. I really wanna see how this pans out!

>>28945459
Cheers, senpai

>>28945486
I'm gonna level with you, Anon. I had no real intention of taking it past a cheeky little oneshot greentext and I would have no idea were to take this from here without devolving into realms of complete and utter absurdity.

I don't do that. I'm deadpan, not abstract. So for all intents and purposes we're already fully panned and sifted.

Have a nice night.

>>28945140
No purple autism, stop being a fucking cunt

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>>28945298
Shit, stop rite nao

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>>28945140
>You stop dead in your tracks before turning to face the unicorn
>She stares at you, an overconfident grin plastered across her face
>Heh. Perfect
>Before she can react you lock your fingers together into a magical symbol and starting vibrating incredibly quickly
>A few of the surrounding ponies stand, awed at the spectacle they were seeing
>"The Forbidden Technique!" one of them cries "Nopony's performed successfully it in a millennia!"
>Until now
>Faster than the blink of an eye, you disappear before them
>"H-HE'S FAST!" stutters Twilight and darts her head back and forth while backing away
>The frightened mare is too slow, however, and you reappear above her, your leg raised
>"N-NANI?!?"
"Take thiiiiis" you roar and bring your foot down - and enormous cloud of dust springing up
>The gathering crowd backs away as a shadowy figure emerges from the cloud
>Now shirtless and with a katana safely sheathed at your side, you wait as the dust disapates and frown disdainfully at your defeated foe
"Hmph, nothing personal" you mutter before lowering your kasa over your eyes and slowly walking away

>>28946102
ebin

>>28945140