> "ANON Y. MOUS WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" >

>>28858580
>Assume combat petting position.

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>>28858538
>implying little ol' anon did anything wrong

>>28858580
>combat petting
sounds heavy

>>28858580
Sounds about right

>>28858644
It involves brushies, and chest fluff stroking.

>>28858609
>implying he is not being charged with something stupid...like standing or prasing the sun

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>>28858538
>It's theft.
>All of it.
>Every single piece of paper describes what you stole and from who it was stolen.
>You slam a hand on the stack of papers with objection.
>She's about to scold you worse than boiling water.
>But maybe, just maybe, it'll work again.
"I'm the Thane of Canterlot, I demand you drop these charges at once."
>"What?!"
"As your appointed Thane, I demand you drop all these charges."
>"It doesn't work like-!"
"You gave me your word that I would have diplomatic immunity wherever I go, you wouldn't go back on your word would you?"
>She pauses to think, weighing her options, you managed to catch her off guard.
>You weren't even sure diplomatic immunity worked like that but you sure as Hell weren't paying the 30,000 bit bounty you have in each town in Equestria.
>"I would be giving you thousands of bits worth of goods, I won't even consider that!"
>You give her a stern look and she returned it.
"As your thane I order you to drop these charges!"
>"You're not my thane, Anon, nor would I obey that demand even if you were!"
>You take a deep inhale, trying to ease your nerves.
>Negotiating is hard while trying not to get sent to the moon.
"Then I must consider this an act of betrayal."
>The Princess gasps, as if you called her a murderer.
>"Betrayal? Will you risk our friendship, Anon?"
>That was a hard question...
"Will I? By my right as thane and as ambassador of the human race, I hereby relieve you of your crown and suspend your student from studying friendship."
>"Anon, you can't just-!"
"It's done! Unless you're willing to drop my charges, get out of this throne-room!"
>Celestia looks at you, then at the stack of papers.
>Her magic suddenly lifts them up and they vanish with a *poof*
>"You've just crossed a terrible thread, Anon."
>Why is she leaving?
"Celestia?"
>Her head low, she turns to you with sad eyes.
>"I'm sorry Anon, I can't watch you get away with this."
>Is she crying?
>She quietly closes the door behind her.
>Leaving you alone.

>>28858707
>Praising the sun
well that falls under loitering if done long enough also LOST

>>28858804
oh.....moer?

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>>28858804
You bessah give us more, anon

>>28858804
Please sir can I have some more

>>28858804
Sounding good.
Would love more.

Impregnating the entire town

>>28858609
Anon was a gud boi, he dindu nuffin

>>28858804
>Negotiating is hard while trying not to get sent to the moon.
my fucking sides

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>>28858538

>grab her by the pussy

>>28858538
Illegally parking your moose in the no moose parking zone.

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>>28858707
>Praising the sun
DEUS VULT, HERETIC!

>>28858804
Sounds like someone used their NEETbucks to get their fat fingers on a copy of the remastered Skyrim

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>>28858850
>>28858887
>>28858905

Why do you fucks not appreciate short, self contained stories anymore?
Not everything needs to be turned into a fucking general you assholes.
I now understand why people hate generals so much, and the reason is you.

>>28859312
If this is how you're going to react to people enjoying your story, why bother writing at all?

>>28859337
Ah, I'm not the wrtiefag.
Just some Anon who's gotten tired of every green, no matter how tiny, followed by at least three lines of "moar plz" even when adding more would ruin the whole impact of a one or two post story.

>>28859312
sometimes it can be annoying but the ending was left pretty open in this case

>>28859312
That wasn't a self-contained story Anon.
Unless they had been discussing anywhere else, leaving Anon alone in the throne room implies he could stay and the princess would have to see him again.
If the intention was for it to be self-contained, the final sentence was great, but the scenario was just not right.

>>28858538

>>28859312
>>28859337
As writefag, I laughed.

>>28859200
No, just someone who regrets buying the first copy and never got too far from Whiterun.

>>28859552
>>28859360
I'd hate to sound rude but have you seen the scene in the game(s) that this was based on?
Right after the conversation, it goes to gameplay, which I thought would be a good place to leave off, which is why it's open ended and essentially a cliffhanger.

>>28861009
Far point

>>28858538
You're acting like murder is a revolutionary invention. Come on, people have been doing it for years!

>>28858707
>"Anon, I know you worship me, but really it's getting a little creepy. It's also illegal."
"But Celestia, you're everything."
>"Anon, please."
"Let me serve you."
>"This is getting weird. You need to leave."
"PRAISE THE SUN!"
>"Guards."

>You thumb through the papers, skimming over the pages to find out the severity of the charges made against you.
>Most of it, while annoying and probably costly, is generally sound in its reasoning and you can understand how ponies would see what you did as an infringement of their likelihood.
>Turning sheet after sheet, you can't help but smile as you remember the multiple occasions cited for your unlawful behavior.
>Indecency, public urination, property damages, wasting town resources, writing spam and chain letters to the castle...
>All of it is meticulously documented, sorted and filed together with various supplementary accords, eyewitness reports and recreations of crime scenes.
"This is in surprisingly good order", you comment with a nod, as you let your eyes wander over a several-page-long document with yellow and red markings and various handwritten post-it notes strewn over the papers.
>"We have been building a case against you for months, Anonymous", Celestia states proudly.
>"Also our lawponies don't exactly have much to do, so your... shenanigans" - she stresses the word - "were a welcome source of workload for them."
"Fair enough, I guess."
>"So, Anonymous", the Princess picks up after a few moments of silence, "how do you plead?"
>Her eyes search for yours, attentively studying your reaction.
"Not guilty, your Highness", you firmly state, trusting your instinct to deny absolutely everything you're ever been accused of until the point of certain defeat.
>Celestia frowns.
>"My faithful subject...", she begins, stepping closer and lowering her voice.
>"Anon. This" - she taps a hoof on the stack of papers - "This is proof, beyond any doubt, of your criminal wrongdoings. It's watertight, all of it. Both my sister and I have conferred, and while we're certain lawbreaking of this magnitude is unprecedented, we're willing to grant you a royal pardon based on your troublesome adjustment period to your life in this land."

>>28862273
>She gets even closer, whispering to you with pleading eyes, her enormous capacity for empathy making this ordeal almost harder on her than you.
>"But you'll have to confess."
"No can do Sunny Buns."
>Years of venturing on the edge of the moral and legal horizon have made you resistant to the play of the good cop, forcing you to keep up your strategy of denying and arguing.
>You will not confess.
>You will not break.
>Not without a fight at least.
"This isn't as open and shut a case as you think it is", you say slapping the papers dismissively.
"Like here - you can't prove it was ME who switched the labels of the salt and sugar in the bakery. Could have been anyone."
>"Well, I suppose..."
"And here", you point towards a large, highlighted section of text, interrupting the Princess and reading aloud: "Eyewitnesses describe a large, bipedal creature relieving itself against the southeast wall of the royal palace."
"That's not much to go on. For all you know, a Minotaur or maybe even a Dragon pissed on your wall. Frankly I'm shocked by the lack of castle security this displays."
>Case after case, you point out all and any bullshit flaws you can find, dismissively throwing stacks of paper over your shoulder.
"And this one..."
>Hold on.
>What?
"Mind explaining this one?"
>Celestia, who had been patiently following your charade until now, looks at you questioningly.
>"What about it?"
>You look to the paper and back to Celestia.
"Not praising the full moon on a clear night?" you read off of the indictment.
>The mare nods solemnly.
>"I'm afraid it's the law to go out and profess your love for the moon on nights like these, Anonymous."
"But... why?"
>"My dear sister is rather adamant about this one. She feels it is only proper to worship her moon when it's in full view. 'Tis the law."
"Why?" you repeat, turning the paper for any hidden information you might be missing.

>>28862279
>You're prepared to go go to jail for most of this shit, but for something like this to be the nail in your proverbial coffin?
>"Oh", Celestia giggles, "it's a rather silly reasoning, I believe. You know the sun and moon are magically connected to my sister and me, yes?"
>You nod.
>"Well, Lulu feels the full moon represents her body. Certain parts of her body anyways."
>Celestia giggles again, her smile warm and affectionate with a hint of playfulness to it.
>"To not worship it would be an affront to the royal... you know... booty", she whispers.
>The last of the paper stack slips through your fingers, scattering the pages on the marbled floor of Celestia's throne room.
>Dropping to your knees, you present your wrists and neck to the Princess.
"Lock me the fuck up."

>>28858538
Seven counts of petty theft
Four counts of battery
Three counts of distribution, possession and 27 other non-violent drug charges (Weed mostly)
Public intoxication
Six counts of illegal gambling
Several noise complaints
Two counts of sexual assault
Two counts of >Rape
64 counts of unprovoked booping
Eleven counts of heresy (aka prancing sunbutt)
Fourteen counts of illegal partying
Five counts of conspiracy

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>>28862417
>unprovoked booping
you fucking animal