You're about to meet your waifu for the first time ever

>>28806769
I didn't know they dabbed on bitches in Equestria.

>>28806769
>Applejack appears in my bedroom at 4 AM
>She's asleep though because ponies are also on Pacific Time
>She just falls on top of the blankets on the other side of the bed
>Autism kicks in
>Don't sleep/speak/blink until sunrise
"Wuh... Whut am Ah doin' here?"
>"HELLO MY NAME IS ANON WOULD YOU LIKE SOME EGGS"
>Faint

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>>28806769
Just make conversation, I guess. Being the first person she meets will probably predispose her to me.

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>>28806769
I help her come up with ways to fuck with Dusk.

Well, I'd start by NOT FUCKING GOING STRAIGHT FOR THE KILL

>>28806797
>Being the first person she meets will probably predispose her to me.
Real life is not a fanfic. She'll probably regret meeting you before other people.

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>>28806846
Why would she? I'm really quite normal, as far as ponyfags go. I can even cook her a nice meal and kindly offer her a bed if she isn't too spooked from being transported from equestria

>>28806846
>meeting magical talking pone waifu
>real life
You can only have one.

>>28806769
She would lean in for a kiss and then dab instead.
"What? I thought that was a thing here? Stop crying! Fuck it I'm going to Tyrone's place, don't wait up for me."

>>28806769
>Turn the corner.
>Bump into Sunny Bunny.
"Oh! I'm so sorry. Are you alright?"
>"Oh yes, yes! I'm okay."
>Smile genuinely.
"It was my fault. That's what I get for day dreaming and walking."
>"It's really okay, honest."
"Great. Well, you have a great day...I'm sorry, what did you say your name was again?"
>"I didn't. But I'm Sunset. Sunset Shimmer."
"Well, Sunset Shimmer, I'm Anon. A pleasure."
>"Well, it could have been a little bit more so."
"Well, we'll just have to make our next encounter perfect, then. I'll see you around, Sunset Shimmer."
>Begin preparations for next encounter.

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Ayy bby wan sum fuk?

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>>28806769
Well, I guess if it's her appearing in my dorm, say hello and offer her a seat and some chilled coffee. If it's me appearing in Equestria, introduce myself and then ask her if she knows how the heck I ended up in a cartoon show.

>>28806769
>"I love you"

>>28806817
This
Jesus fuck people the first thing on your mind when meeting somepony should not be horsepussy.

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>>28807189

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>>28806769

"Human coitus lasts on average between three and seven minutes."

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>>28807211
>the first thing on your mind when meeting somepony should not be horsepussy

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>>28807240

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I don't deserve her yet

I can make spaghetti.

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I'm pretty high so I guess I'd pass her the pipe and tell her she needs to smoke this shit or she'll get sick from an earth disease called "un-chill". Hit it off from there.

captcha: calle sunset

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>>28807232

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Do you like ear scratches?

>>28806769
>you walk into your living room to go watch some tv
>maybe there is a rerun of MLP on or something
>you start to hear a strange vibrating noise coming from the room
>the sound becomes more audible as you get closer
>you turn the last corner and face the living room
>to your surprise, you see a sky blue rainbow mane pony lying on your couch
>at first you stand stiff, not knowing how to react to this
>you pinch your wrist, making sure this wasn't a dream
"Oh my god..." you whisper to yourself
>was the real Rainbow Dash actually on your living room couch?!
>or were you hallucinating?
>you own your own house, so no one could have drugged you or anything...
>and you gave up pot a while ago
"What should I do? I don't want to startle her."
>she continues to snore on the couch, curled up like a cat
>soon you start to tip-toe over to the couch, good thing you have carpet floors
>wooden floors are noisy as fuck
>you kneel down in front of her
>she shifts a little, you lean back expecting her to wake up
>she's still snoozing
>you look thoroughly over her, examining the details of her hooves, fur, mane...
>there's no way this is really happening...
>is it?
>well, its now or never

>>28807408
>you slowly lean towards her again
>you tap her lightly on her shoulder
>she grunts, then mumbles something
>you tap her again
>"Mhmmngh, five more minutes..."
>you tap her a third time
you whisper "hey, wake up."
>this got her attention
>her eyes sprung open and stared at you
>"AAAAHHHH!"
>she literally springs upwards at a 90 degree angle
>she starts to try and fly away
>cant find an opening to the outside
>she won't stop screaming
"HEY! Calm down! I'm not trying to hurt you!"
>she stops dead in her tracks, in mid air
>fucking cartoon physics
>"WHO ARE YOU? WHY AM I HERE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FRIENDS!?"
"Woahwoahwoah... Lets take it down a notch alright?"
>"..."
"For starters, my name is Anon, you must be-"
>ho-ho-hold the fuck up dipshit, if you spat out you know her entire life story she might try to kill you. Play it dumb!
"Uum..."
>"...Rainbow Dash, my name's Rainbow Dash."
"Well nice to meet you, Rainbow."
>it takes every ounce of strength in your body not to release the spaghetti gates and flood the room with fangirling
"So... what are you doing here?"
>she looks around your tiny house, no longer scared, confused almost
>"I... uh..."
>she descends back down onto your couch
>"I don't know..."
>she hangs her head low, closes her eyes and sighs
>you walk to the couch and sit the opposite end to her
>you sit there awkwardly
>"I just- ...oh my Celestia!"
>she starts sobbing
>oh shit

>>28807414
>shes not even your favorite pone, but you can't help the feels
>you don't know what else to do
>something alpha sparks inside of you
>you scoot closer to her
>stop
>closer...
>she's bawling like a baby now, hooves over her eyes
>you build up the nerve to put your hand behind her back
>pulling her to you for a side-hug
>she's startled at first, stopping to look up at you
>somehow, she saw compassion in your eyes, and that you weren't a threat to her
>she lowers her hooves, and leans into your chest
>she's still crying, but stifled
>you rub her back
"Its alright, Rainbow Dash, its gonna be okay..."


A Rainbow Pony on the Couch by STORM-MLP
http://pastebin.com/u/Storm-mlp

A green posted here about 2 years ago. I enjoyed it so I'm posting it here

>>28806769
>"Ponywholovesmesayswhat?"
>'..What?'
>"WE'RE MARRIED FOREVER NOW, NO ERASIES."