>"Uhhmm... Anon?" >"You know I kind like..

>>28730615
Just so long as you aren't a filthy dashfag.

>>28730615
grow some hooves and well talk again

>>28730615
go ask discord

>>28730615
I'm not gonna help you babysit your daughter just because we both share the same taste in cartoons

>>28730615
Oh look, another green with st-st-stuttering Fluttershy.

>>28730615
How would she even react to a character with her name, her colours, and her entire demeanour?

Frankly I'd find that pretty unsettling.

>>28730640
DEVILISH
E
V
I
L
I
S
H

>>28730615
Anyone got the Magic Pup Screencaps?

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>>28730624
>"Why don't you like Dashie anon? She's strong, fast and always stands her ground, I think she's great!"
>"I want to be like her!"

>>28730615
>go inside her room
>Discord is there
>"Hello Anon, Please sit there next to Angel Bunny, MY dear Flutershy want to sit next to me since she likes to hug a lot when we're watching movies together"
>cucked

>>28730685
"She reminds me of your cuntish dyke friend. God... I fucking hate blue people."

>>28730685
Careful, yellow twig. Don't break yourself while you make Discord a sandwich.

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I didn't make this thread for it to be flooded with cuck memes just stop already!

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>>28730733
HA HA, YOUR WAFIU IS PREGNANT WITH DISCORD'S FREAK SEED.

>>28730733
>>28730615
KEKS
U
C
K
S

>>28730798
Knowing Discord, his semen probably sprouted their own dicks and gang banged her egg into submission.

>>28730821
I think I found a new fetish.

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>>28730733
Dont worry, not only fluttercucks are on suicide watch.

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>>28730821
dude seriously

>>28730615
"I masturbate to you and your friends."

>>28730844
Is KimPossiblyanAutistAlot fuckable?

>>28730615
Why do you need to watch it with another person? Why can't you just enjoy doing things alone, like me?

>>28730615
Sure if you sit on my lap.

>>28731091
I want to dial her tits.

>>28730615
>She asks you to watch mlp
>You do so
>she awkwardly tries to make moves on you
>She yawns and attempts to lay agaibst you, but overestimates the distance
>Her head hits your hips
>She pulls herself up, blushing
>Get to the scene where Pinkie Pie kisses Gummy
>"Um, wow. They actually showed a kiss that wasn't in a wedding. That's nice, huh?"
>She bats her eye lashes at you
>Internally sweat
>And a little external
>Couple more eps and she tries to hold your hand
>Just sit and watch as her hand is on yours
>awkwaaard...
>But... nice.

>>28731847
Is it wrong that I don't take advantage of this?

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>>28731847
>she tries to hold your hand
This is a christian image board dude jesus christ.

>>28730666
Don't you call classy retriever a slut!

>>28731091
>>28731249
You know she's let people pay to fuck her right?

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>>28732015
So she's like Rarity? That's pretty hot.

>>28732021
Only anal though - and there's a discount if you can do a John Delancie impression whilst fucking her

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>>28730615
>Usually calm and timid
>When she watches MLP she gets mad hype and starts screaming obscenities like an overzealous sports fan
>anon gets scared

>>28730733
Bait, that's exactly why you made it.

>>28730615

>I'm too embarrassed to tell my friends

I'm not your friend?

>>28732058
What, is she saving her "totally real" virginity for her prince ?

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>>28731091
>>28731091
literally who?

>>28730615
>Carrying concealed weapon? No.
>Combat training? Unlikely.
>Signs of aggression? None.
>Strength level? Weak.
>Armor rating? Low.
>Threat level 0. Proceed with interaction.
"Please repeat your previous statements."
>"I-I was wondering if y-y-you...you know, wanted to w-watch My Little Pony with me."
>Possible trap? Likely.
>Threat level reevaluating.
"For what purpose?"
>"B-because I think it'd be fun."
"Fun?"
>"Y-yeah."
"What is fun?"
>"You've never heard o-of fun? Oh my."
>Snide remark detected.
>Student witnesses detected.
>Deploying social safety measures.
"Your hair takes peculiar form and does not follow the laws of physics."
>Salt levels rising.
>Moistness detected in target's eyes.
>Possible attack?
>Preparing combat maneuvers.
>Target fleeing.
>Threat eliminated.
>"Wow, Anon is so cool."
>New directive.
>Understand "cool".

>>28730615
"Watching the show and not being into it just for the porn. What a loser."

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>>28734135
I dont know whats this, but I want more.

>>28730733
>not flooding absolutely everything to inflate the cuck meme to worthlessness

>>28734135
>"Hey anon I love you."
"My sensors indicate you like music."
>"w-what? No silly I said I love you."
"Agreed commencing dance protocol 3-6-9"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5G1FmU-ldg

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>>28734211

>>28734135
>Studying environment. Library.
>Cataloging system? Dewey Decimal system.
>Searching books. Subject: Cool.
>None found.
>Searching for alternate forms of intelligence gathering.
>Computers located.
>En route to computers to study Cool.
>"Hey, Anon!"
>Intercepted. Analyzing situation.
>Two students detected. Registering faces.
>Yellow child from previous hallway engagement.
>New blue child.
>Carrying concealed weapon? No.
>Combat training? Unlikely.
>Signs of aggression? Yes.
>Strength level? Weak.
>Armor rating? Low.
>Threat level 2. Proceed with caution.
"Hello."
>"What's the big idea?!"
"Understanding 'cool'."
>"You made Fluttershy cry!"
>Cataloging name. Yellow child is Fluttershy.
"Affirmative."
>"Apologize!"
"Why?"
>Detecting raised fist.
>Defensive measures recommended.
>Deploying apology.
"I'm sorry."
>"O-oh. Really?"
>Target requests affirmation.
>Proceed?
"Yes."
>"Well, I guess that's ok then."
>"S-so, are we c-cool, Anon?"
>Cool detected.
>Studies incomplete.
"Please excuse me. I have chores."
>"Oh really? What are you up to?"
>Response unexpected. Analyzing alternate solutions.
>"Anon?"
>Analyzing.
>"Yoo hoo? Earth to Anon?"
"Please excuse me. I have soiled myself."
>Planning route to bathroom.
>Route found. Exiting room.
>Threat eliminated.
>Alternate forms of study required.

>>28730615
how long until a yelling match about who's waifu/husbando is better happens

>>28734135
>>28734279
I don't know why, but I'm enjoying this. Anymore, writefag or you're just spitballing?

>>28734367
I was just pissing in the wind

>>28733249
Kek
I need this

>>28734135
>>28734279
TermiAnon when?

What would even be Flutters' foal's name?
I only see potential foal names get brought up in context of Rarity

>>28730615

>EqG version of waifu wants to chill and watch ponies

Almost perfect win here, especially if there's enough popcorn involved and I can get Fluttershy to dub silly lines over the dialogue at times.

>>28731996
>Fluttershy's fingers rest upon tye back of your hand.
>Bare.
>You can see her blush, softly gasping.
>Taking a gulp, your hand trembles.
>Is this really happening?
>"Y-You can move it. If you want."
>It is.
>You slide your hand back, then forth after turning it so you are rubbing palm on palm.
>She moans.
>It would be a lie to say you weren't excited to have your first time.
>You close your fingers around hers.
>This is it, you're holding hands!
>Letting it happen, you both watch as Shining Armor and Cadence reveal they're having a baby.
>"Oh my... they had sex, didn't they?"
"That's the implication."
>Dirty horse show.
>Kids are supposed to watch this?

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>>28730615
>>"Oh my... they had sex, didn't they?"
>you put your best in your banes deep voice
>"Ofcourse!"

BaneXFluttershy then?

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>>28735067
>BaneXFluttershy then?
As soon as we've started the fire

>>28734279
>"Please excuse me. I have soiled myself."
kek

>>28735027
N-Now draw a circle around her p-palm with your index finger!

>>28733283
Something like that, apparently someone did pay and secretly recorded themself fucking her - and it's not pretty

>>28735115
Source now.

>>28735211
It was on the site without mother's at one point. It's really fucking awkward from what I remember, poorly lit and the noises she makes when she cums - think a weeaboo doing their best impression of a Japanese girl impersonating a chipmunk squeaking

>>28735115
...I don't get it.

>>28735519
Are you retarded?

>>28730615
Firstly, I would love to, but I fear it might provoke an existential crisis.
Secondly, you don't need to be afraid to share your hobbies with your friends. Even if you enjoyed something weird- which, for a girl, My Little Pony really isn't- I'm sure they would continue to love you anyway. I think you should be honest with them. Who knows? Maybe some of them would end up liking the show as much as you do.

>>28730615
Turn head 359 degrees and whispering past my bad teeth and spruting oily acne covered face.
"LEL UR A FEG" Before tipping my fedora and spreading my trenchcoat wings to fly south for the neckbeard winter.

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>>28730821

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>>28734135
>>28734279
kek

>>28735027
l-lewd

>>28733249
>"FUCK ME SIDEWAYS AND CALL ME CUNTSANDWICH!"
>"Did you just fucking see this shit too anon!?"
>"Twi totally rekt that poser cunt Trixie holy fucking dicks"
>"WHAT? That wasn't even an Ursa major?"
>"FUCK, they're THAT big!? You seeing this shit anon?"
>"A-anon? Why are you looking like that, i-is something wrong?"

>>28734279
>Bathroom located.
>Scanning for students.
>3 detected.
>Carrying concealed weapons? No.
>Intoxicated? Affirmative.
>Threat level 0.
>Acquiring stall.
>Deploying defense measures.
>Door locked.
>Library locked down.
>Scanning for alternate forms of information gathering devices.
>Scanning for teachers.
>None.
>Scanning for television.
>None.
>Scanning for cellphones.
>3 detected.
>Cellphones in possession of students.
>Options: buy cellphones, steal cell phones, ask for cellphones.
>Funds: $0 and a rubber band.
>Penalty for theft: detention.
>Social skills: minimum level.
>Chance of success at 32%.
>Proceed with caution.
>Exiting stall.
>Approaching students.
"Please give me your phone."
>"Yo bruh...what?"
"Please give me your phone."
>"Duuude...you're like...green."
"Affirmative."
>"That's funky."
"Is 'funky' a synonym for 'cool'?"
>"Like...yeah...I guess..."
>"Is it?"
>"Dude like...I don't know."
>Recalculating. Chance of success at 15%.
"Please give me your phone."
>"But like...I need it."
>Alternate solution detected.
"I sense a teacher within 30 yards. Please vacate the premises. I shall hide the evidence of your illegal activities."
>"Oh shit man!"
>Students evacuating bathroom.
>Scanning pot den.
>9 ounces of marijuana.
>3 cellphones.
>Mission success.

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>>28733249
>When she watches MLP she gets mad hype and starts screaming obscenities like an overzealous sports fan
So she act's like an avarge horsefucker in /mlp/ ,but insted capital letter chat screaming ,she is literally screaming?
I like this.

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>>28736064
>>28734279
>>28734135
Holy shit, this is great. Keep going

>>28735838
I'm not your father.

>>28736064
Fucc this is too good

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>>28731249
>when you go to her house, you find that it's full of literal tits

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>>28730821
Holy shit anon

>>28736064
>9 Ounces

HOLY FUCK THESE KIDS DON'T FUCK AROUND

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bump

>>28736064
>Acquiring cellphone.
>Error. Screen is locked.
>Scanning for key.
>No key found.
>Scanning for alternate means of entry.
>Error. Smashing phone against floor results in catastrophic failure.
>Acquiring second phone.
>Scanning for alternate means of entry.
>Keypad detected.
>Attempting to decode password.
>Error.
>Error.
>Error.
>Error.
>Recalculating. Chance of success at 2%.
>Warning: Bathroom has been breached.
>Detecting teacher at door.
>Carrying concealed weapon? No.
>Showing signs of aggression? Yes.
>Strength level? Medium.
>Threat level 4. Preparing defensive measures.
>"You there! What are you doing?!"
"Studying."
>"Is that pot?!"
"Affirmative."
>"You're coming with me, bucko!"
"Negative."
>"Excuse me?!"
"Negative."
>"The fuck do you mean negative? I'm calling the cops. Man, you damn kids always stink up my bathroom with pot."
"Your bathroom?"
>"Yeah my bathroom. Got a problem with that?"
"Are you not a teacher?"
>"I'm the janitor. Name's Scruffy."
>Cataloging Scruffy.
>"Get the fuck out."
"Negative. I must study."
>"Study what?"
"Cool."
>"Is that what the pot is for?"
"Negative. I do not own this marijuana."
>"Then who's is it?"
"The marijuana belongs to whomever the cellphones belong to."
>"What?"
"I have acquired many cellphones. Please assist me in unlocking them."
>"Did you...steal those?"
>Theft results in detention.
>Scanning Scruffy.
>Results: old, angry, possibly intoxicated.
>Conclusion: not a snitch.
"Affirmative."
>"Hey...how about I help you with those phones and you give me the pot?"
>Trade detected. Running Trade Agreement program.
>Calculating risks.
>Pot required for mission? Unlikely.
>Chances of school official entering bathroom? Unlikely.
"These terms are acceptable."
>"Sweet. Let's go to my office."
>Trade accepted.
>Ending task.
"Thank you."
>Ending Trade Agreement program.
>Reevaluating Scruffy.
>Carrying concealed weapon? No.
>Signs of aggression? No.
>Strength level? Medium.
>Threat level 1. Proceed safely.

>>28735115
>>28735211
>>28735401
>>28735519
9CB864C

>>28738325
Thanks mang

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>>28738325
unf

>>28738320

Mecha-Anon is cool

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>>28738320
>Scanning Scruffy.
>Results: old, angry, possibly intoxicated.

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>>28730666
That was fucking great, I really hope someone capped it

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>>28730821

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>>28732015
ok

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>>28734135

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>>28738320

requesting more please

>>28738320
>Descending stairs.
>Visibility approaching 0.
>"So how'd you get all that pot anyway?"
>Question detected.
>Suggested response: socially acceptable amount of sarcasm.
>Running sarcasm program.
>Searching for response.
>"Buddy?"
"Please hold."
>"Whatever."
>Stairs completed. Visibility absolute 0.
>Delegating sarcasm to background program.
>"Hold on, let me get the lights. They're around here somewhere."
>Visibility increased to acceptable levels.
>Detecting grime and assorted molds.
>Reevaluating Scruffy's status: bad janitor.
>"My office is right this wa--"
"I informed the students that their fridge was departing with great speed and suggested they pursue it before it achieved such a distance to be legally considered 'run away'."
>Sarcasm successful. Ending program.
>"Riiight... My office is right this way."
"Does it have the proper tools for unlocking my cellphones?"
>"Well it should. If it don't, shit...I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."
>Warning. Danger. Alert.
"I do not approach bridges."
>"It's a figure of speech."
"Are figures of speech cool?"
>"I guess."
"Is cool a figure of speech?"
>"No."
>Paradox detected.
>Ending thought process to preserve mental integrity.

>>28740314
Terminator Anon is best Anon.
More plz.

>>28740314
>Door detected.
>Scanning text: Scruffy's Office - Do not Enter - Trespassers Will be Shot
>Being shot will likely cause damage to body
>Reevaluating Scruffy.
>Carrying concealed weapon? Highly likely.
>Showing signs of aggression? No.
>Strength level? Medium.
>Threat level 6. Proceed with extreme caution.
>Preparing defensive measures.
>"Let me just unlock this."
>Detecting sharp objects.
>Sharp objects hidden within door.
>Crisis averted.
>Entering office.
>Locating desk and paper clutter.
>Scanning documents. Late mortgage. Bill due. Divorce papers.
>Reevaluating Scruffy.
>Status: sad old man.
>"Let me see if I got somethin' here. Mops...no. Brooms...no. Hot pockets...later. Aha, here it is! Stole this baby out of that nerd's locker."
>Universal lock detected.
>Recommended emotion: happiness.
>Deploying smile.
>Smile successful.
>"Let me see that there phone."
>Transferring phone.
>Lock attaching to phone.
>"Now I just press this button here and...oops, not that one. Shit. Uhh...shit. Got another phone? Kinda fried this one."
>Last cellphone value? High.
>Risk of failure? High.
>Accessing proverbs.
"Your waifu a shit."
>"What?"
"Got to eat big to get big. 2 scoops cmon."
>"The hell are you saying?"
"Have to risk big to make it big."
>Appropriate proverb found.
>Calculating risk-to-reward ratio.
>Ratio deemed acceptable.
>Transferring final phone to Scruffy.
>"Alright, this time for sure. Only two buttons on this thing and I'm pretty sure I can only hit the kill switch once."

>>28730615
Sure.

>>28740525
>"Got it! Ha ha, nice. Looks like the password was 1111. You could have unlocked it on your first try if you were some kind of robot that ran through codes 1 number at a time."
>Cover blown? Possible.
>Preparing murder procedures.
>"Shit, I'm just pulling your leg."
>Cover not blown.
>Ceasing murder procedures.
>Acquiring phone.
>"Now how 'bout my pot?"
>Transferring marijuana.
>Trade completed.
>Focusing on phone.
>Opening internet.
>Scanning open tabs.
>Porncenter. HotMilfLife. GoodFuxNearMe. 4chin. UsTube MLP S08E17.
>Detecting code. Deciphering S08E17.
>Deciphering completed. Season 8 Episode 17.
>High season count implies popular show.
>More information required.
>Googling "popular".
>Synonym for cool.
MLP is popular. Popular is cool. MLP is cool.
>New directive.
>Become MLP.

>>28740600
>New directive.
>Become MLP.
IT BEGINS

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>>28740600
>Become MLP

>>28740314
KEK

>>28740525
>2 scoops cmon
Dammit I didn't save any Piana memes.

>>28740600
O H S H I T

>>28736064
> O U N C E S
bruh CHS is fucking turnt

>>28740600
>Become MLP.
Nigguh what?

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>>28730821

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>>28740600
>Become MLP

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>>28730615
That would be nice. To be honest, I've only watched through the series once and it would be nice to watch it again as a refresher

>>28730615
"Mylittlewhatnow?"
>"Uh, My little pony..."
"What's that?"
>"What? B-but people told me...oh dear...how embarassing..."
"Uh, no need to be embarassed, just explain it to me."
>"My little pony. Haven't you heard of it?"
"Actually no."
>"It's a beautiful show about 6 multicolored horses who live in a mag-"
"What? Horses? Is it a cartoon for kids?"
>"Well, actually it is but it's v-"
"Oh, Flutters, please! I have grown past the 'cartoon for kids' phase!"
>"Oh..."
"I mean, not that there's anything wrong in watching them, but I simply am not very interested...I'm sorry..."
>"Well, but, I mean...you do watch Magipup..."
"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE! MAGIPUP IS NOT A SHOW FOR KIDS, IT'S AN AMAZING CARTOON FOR PEOPLE OF ALL AGES!"
>"Yeah, ok, but mostly ki-"
"SHUT YOUR SLUTFAG MOUTH! YOU FASHIONPUPFAGS KNOW NOTHING!"
>"STOP CALLING HER A SLUT!"

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>>28742626
>You know nothin, flutterpupfags

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>>28742626
I don't know what's worst. The anons hypocrisy or that he might be a hipster.

>>28742626
What would happen if Anon was a fan of Steven Universe?

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>>28742895

>>28742895
I'm not enough into SU to make a green about it, sorry. I watched a small bunch of episodes and learned to play the credits song, but nothing else.

>>28742895
Yo fokin wot

>>28742895
Then he'd have to get back to tumblr, with all the other cucks

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>>28742626
>Half an hour later
>Principal Celestia's office
>"So. You two got caught screaming in the hallway."
"IT'S HER F-"
>"Anon, I suggest you keep quiet."
"BU-"
>"Anon."
"...yes ma'am."
>"Thank you. Now, I want to hear from both of you what happened. CALMLY. Is it ok?"
>"Yes, Prinicipal"
"...sure, whatever, ok."
>"Good. Now, since you were so eager to explain yourself, Anon: what happened"
"SHE DISSED MY FAVORITE SHOW!"
>"Your favorite...show?"
"Yes! She said Magipup is a show for kids!"
>"Magiwhat?"
>"Magipup, ms Principal. It's a show about some colored talking puppies. Me and anon use to wa-"
"TALK FOR YOURSELF, YOU HEATHEN! Magipup is a wonderful opera about life itself!"
>"...no, it's just a show for kids"
"SEEE!? SHE'S DOING IT AGAIN!"
>"Wait, lemme get this straight. You were screaming over a stupid disagreement on a k...ehm, cartoon?"
>"G-guess we were, principal."
"...yeah, it feels kinda stupid now that I think about it"
>"I'm sorry"
"M-me too."
>"Well, that's great, kids. See? Everything can be solved just by talking your way thru it. Even silly things like feud over cartoons, which by the way you're both a bit too grown up to wa-"
>"EXCUSE ME?!"
"SO THAT'S IT! YOU STUPID SLUTFAG TRICKED ME INTO THIS SO THAT I HAD TO BE LECTURED BY SOME NORMIE!?"
>"I DID NOTHING, YOU BIG DUMMY!"
"AS IF I WOULD BELIEVE A TREACHEROUS SLUTFAG!"
>"Hey, you two, I suggest you stop screaming!"
"WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME, HUH!? DO YOU WANT ME TO GROW A MOUSTACHE AND CALL OUR TEACHERS 'MASTER'??? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!"
>"What..?"
>"DON'T JUDGE US! WE'RE FREE TO DO WHAT WE WANT!"
>"But nobody told you t-"
"I BET THE FACT THAT I CAN BARK TRIGGERS YOU, HUH!? WOOF! WOOF!"
>"ME TOO! WOOF! WOOF! STOP OPPRESSING US!!"
"WOOF!! WOOF!!"
>"...Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuna, call the nurse, please."

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>>28742972

>>28742972
>Deploying barks.
>Barks successful.
>Ending barks.

>>28730615
"You ever thought about how the characters are literally exactly the same as you and everyone else in this school?"

>>28743013
Don't be silly anon, they're far superior to us, they have hooves

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this whole thread

>>28743064
> There will never be a TV show about a low functioning robo-autist going about his daily life

>>28743070
Sonichu the animated series died before its time

>>28730700
Oh, let's try to keep color our of this man

>Anon and Fluttershy kept bickering about Magipup every day
>One day, they both went to a pupcon, dressed in their full dogsonas (Chromatic Quirk for Anon and Fashion Pup for Fluttershy)
>They met each other, fall in love and had pupsex, without revealing their real identities
>To this day, they never realized their beloved counterpart was each other.
"AT LEAST I HAD SEX WITH SOMEBODY, AT A CON, YOU STUPID JERK!"
>"YEAH!? ME TOO, YOU BIG IDIOT!"
"SURE! I BET YOUR PARTNER WAS A FAT SMELLY NECKBEARD, SINCE THAT'S WHAT YOU SLUTFAGS LOVE, RIGHT?!"
>"AND I BET YOURS WAS A GREASY LANDWHALE, WHO NEVER USED THE SHOWER IN HER LIFE!"

>>28742972
>>28743117
I'm surprised this Anon didn't RRREEE yet.

>>28743199
Pepe doesn't exist in EqG's world.
They have Lulu the pidgeon, which means when anon is utterly pissed he starts inflating his own cheeks and kicks dirt with his feet, while cooing menacingly

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>>28743217

>>28743217
"SLUTFAG, SLUTFAG, SLUTFAG!"
>"Shut up! At least no Fashionpup fag ever wrote something as stupid as Magipuppykid!"
"Stu...? You didn't!"
>"Oh yes, I did! It's the most stupidest piece of fanfiction ever written!"
"COOO! COOOO!"
>"Anon, stop kicking dirt on my shoes"
"COOOO! COOOO!"
>"...breathe, at least."
"COOOOOOOOO! COOOOOOOOOOO!"

bumping for robot anon

>>28743262
>Anon coo's while some black kids are nearby
>Thinks he's calling them coons
>Gets chimped on
>Rants on Double Chin that Zebricans need to go back

>>28740600
"How do I become a cartoon?"
>"What?"
"How do I become a cartoon?"
>Googling MLP production team.
>Lauren Faust, creator and lead writer for 8 seasons.
>Tara Strong, voice of 72 characters including the main 6 protagonists.
>Shadboy, head animator.
>Hideaki Anno, ex-PR team leader fired for encouraging several worker suicides.
>Suggested approach: bar encounter leading to business talk. Join production team.
>Acquiring daily schedules of production team and cross referencing Canadian bars.
>Error. Daily schedules of production team unavailable.
>Further study required.
>Running list of known associates knowledgeable of MLP.
>Fluttershy.
>List complete.
>Must locate Fluttershy.
>Exiting room.
>"Hey, give back that lock."
>Evaluating lock.
>Valuable to mission? Likely.
>Risk of injury for not complying? Likely.
>Calculating risk-to-reward ratio.
>Ratio deemed acceptable.
"Negative."
>"I said give it back now. Don't make me come over there. I'm high off my ass and I ain't afraid to beat up a kid."
>Reevaluating Scruffy.
>Status: intoxicated old man.
>Threat level 1.
>Suggested response: assholish.
>Running asshole program.
>Deploying middle finger.
>Middle finger successful.
>"You son of a bitch! Come here!"
>Threat detected.
>Light switch detected.
>Engaging light switch.
>Visibility reduced to absolute 0.
>Detecting fall.
>"Oh god, my leg! Help!"
>Reevaluating Scruffy.
>Status: injured.
>Threat level 0.
>Engaging light switch.
>Visibility increased to acceptable levels.
>"Kid, you got to get a nurse!"
"Negative."
>"What?!"
"Negative."
>Proceeding with mission.
>Ascending stairs.

>>28744109
I'd love to see Mecha-non try to have sex.
>Engaging in coitus
>Running de-bra program
>Hook response: stubborn
>Critical mission failure
>Giggle released from air lock
>Reevaluating Fluttershy: enamored
>Mission saved
>"Oh Anon, I want your babies."
>New mission directive?
>ABORT ABORT

>>28744151
>he takes off his pants
>his dick is a piston with green rubber crudely taped over it

>>28730615
You're from that same universe, Fluttershy. How the fuck do you now know this?

>>28730615
>rape

>>28744163
>"Ooh, Anon! Faster! Faster!"
>Increasing speed to 350mph
>Evaluating screams: pleased

>>28744109
>"Kid, you got to get a nurse!"
>"Negative."
>"What?!"
>"Negative."
so wait are we leaving Scruffy to die?
I'm ok with this

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>>28744449
>I'm ok with this

>>28742972
More?

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>>28743117
>>28744109
I'm liking both of these.

>>28743217
>>28743262
>>28743903
This is the only way I can picture it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APWXorE6h8U

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>>28744109
more

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>>28740525
>"Got to eat big to get big. 2 scoops cmon."
I'm fucking dying holy shit this is so fucking funny

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>>28742972
>the barking
this whole thread is gold

>>28730666
Here you go satan.
http://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/28561586/#q28561786

>>28744109
>Searching for Fluttershy's classes.
>Error.
>No logs of Fluttershy's schedule.
>School records would have logs of Fluttershy's schedule.
>En route to main office.
>Arriving at main office.
>6 teachers detected.
>3 students detected.
>1 police officer detected.
>More information required.
>Running Window Peeping program.
>Engaging in peeping.
>Registering faces of students.
>Faces match those of students from bathroom.
>Ending peeping.
>Sufficient data gathered to draw conclusion.
>Conclusion: students intercepted by teachers and brought to the main office for smelling of marijuana.
>Calculating risk of entering main office.
>38% chance of being shot.
>Adjusting tie.
>7% chance of being shot.
>Risks deemed acceptable.
>Entering office.
>Analyzing police officer.
>Carrying weapon? Yes.
>Showing signs of aggression? No.
>Strength level? High.
>Threat level 10. Avoid at all costs.
>Approaching secretary desk.
>"Hello. How can I help you?"
>Detecting question.
>Analyzing possible responses.
>Selecting response.
>Deploying response.
"Scruffy has been promoted to janitor of internal school servers. I have been tasked with bringing him the schedules of all students. Please give me the schedules of all students."
>Suspicion levels rising.
>"Is that true?"
"Affirmative."
>"You're not lying to me?"
"Affirmative."
>"Well, if you say you're not lying, I guess it must be the truth."
"This school has an unnatural level of trust between students and teachers."
>"Friendship means a lot here."
>Friendship requires further study.
>"Let me just pull up these records for you."
>Acquiring schedules of all students.
>Deploying thanks.
"Thank you."
>Thanks successful.
>Exiting main office.
>Searching for Fluttershy's schedule.
>Fluttershy's schedule located.
>Cross referencing with date and time.
>New destination: art class.

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>>28734135
I like where this is going.

>>28747993
What would a terminator anons target be?

>>28749312
Horsepussy

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>>28749319
But anon, there's no horsies in EQG...wait. You don't think?

>>28749387
Why do you think he wants to become mlp? Then he'll have access to all the horsepussy

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>>28749414

>>28749312
He just wants to make friends.

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>>28748411
>art
>of my writing

>>28750526
I'm glad you liked it. Might finish it if I figure out what to do about those hands.

>>28747993
>Arriving at art class.
>Detecting obstacle: closed door.
>Deploying door measures.
>Opening door.
>Opening complete.
>Scanning students.
>Faces matching Fluttershy's: None.
>Scanning room.
>Detecting 8 lab benches.
>Detecting high amounts of vinegar and baking soda.
>"Is there a reason you're interrupting my class, young man?"
"This is the art room."
>"No, this is a chemistry room."
"Incorrect. Please remove all unnecessary equipment from the art room."
>"Look around you. Does it look like an art room?"
"You have detected the same problem as I."
>"Why do you think this is an art room?"
"School maps dated 1937 dictate that this room is the art room."
>Teacher approaching.
>Scanning teacher.
>Carrying concealed weapon? No.
>Showing signs of aggression? No.
>Strength level? Low.
>Threat level 0. Proceed with interaction.
>"Are you new here?"
"I am 3 days old."
>"Ah, a transfer student. Well, the school was renovated in the mid 80s. The art room is actually down the other hallway."
>Correct map deemed critical to mission success.
>Incorrect map could lead to critical failure.
"Please provide me with a current map of the school."
>"Didn't you get an assignment notebook? They have all the information a new student could possibly want, including a map."
>Evaluating importance of assignment notebook. Highly valuable.
>Scanning room for assignment notebook.
>27 located.
>"Anyway, I have to get back to teaching. You go on back to whatever class you're from. I'll let it slide since you're new."
>Assignment notebooks paired with students.
>Suggested course of action: steal assignment notebook.
>Error. Theft in front of teacher results in detention.
>Searching for alternate solutions.
"I am lost. I require a student escort to bring me to the art room."
>"Oh, right. Flash, why don't you take our green friend here to his class?"
>"Sure thing, Ms. Cherilee!"
>Cataloging Ms. Cherilee.

>>28750646
>Student rising from lab bench.
>Scanning student.
>Carrying concealed weapon? No.
>Showing signs of aggression? No.
>Strength level? Extremely low.
>Threat level nonexistent. Proceed with interaction.
>"Come on, kid. I'll take you to your new class."
>Detecting shoulder pat.
>Suggested response: friendly smile.
>Deploying smile.
>Smile successful.
>Exiting room.
>"So, you find out what you want to do here?"
"Affirmative."
>"Yeah, I'm part of a band. It's pretty rad."
"Please give me your assignment notebook."
>"What?"
"Please give me your assignment notebook."
>"Why?"
>Request not understood.
>Rephrasing request.
"Place your assignment notebook in my hands. Now."
>"Hey you can't just talk to people like that."
>Diplomacy has reached critical failure.
>Searching for alternate solutions.
>Scanning hallway. Empty.
>Chances of being discovered: 37%
>Calculating risk-to-reward ratio.
>Ratio deemed acceptable.
>Running assault program.
>Deploying kick.
>Kick successful.
>"OW! DUDE, WHAT HE FUCK!"
>Noise levels rising considerably.
>Covering student's mouth with hand.
>Noise has returned to acceptable levels.
>Deploying punches.
>Punches successful.
>Student has submitted.
>Ending assault program.
>Searching backpack.
>Acquired assignment notebook.
>Salt levels rising.
>Detecting moisture in student's eyes.
>Chances of being tattled on: 95%
>Deploying safety measures.
"If you inform any human being about what has transpired in this hallway, I shall update my maps with a route to your house and engage in another assault on your person. Please remain quiet."
>Detecting nod.
>Chances of being tattled on: 25%
>Acceptable.
>Scanning assignment notebook for map.
>Map found.
>Updating internal maps.
>Locating art room.
>En route to class.

>>28750684
Oh Flash, you little bitch

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>>28750684
You know, oddy enough, it's not as funny to see flash getting punched. A weird feeling. Still, nice green, keep it up

>>28743081
the guy who made that now literally takes it up the ass from shadman, good riddance

>>28749319
This.

>Reevaluating mission
>In order to become the MLP, firsthand experience with the actual world is necessary
>New mission acquired: open portal to Equestria

>>28730821
Did they shoot silly-string plasmids into the zygote?

>>28750684
>>28751143
I find it extra amusing to read this story while imagining that roboNon is actually a blocky, obviously-not-human 1950's style robot.

>>28754243
>"Wow Anon, you're looking kind of chunky."
"I am thick boned."
>"Are your arms vacuum tubes?"
"Negative."
>"Oh ok. If you say so."

>>28750646
>Detecting obstacle: close door.
>Deploying door measures.
>Opening door.
>Opening complete.
I kek'd hard

>>28754677
Kek

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>>28749319

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>>28750684
holy shit this is gold

>>28743117
>Eventually anon finds out
"YOU RAPED ME YOU SLUTFAG!"
>"NO, YOU RAPED ME YOU ASSHOLE!"
"IT WASN'T EVEN GOOD, I COULD TELL HOW FLAT YOU WERE EVEN WITH THE SUIT!"
>"YEAH?!, W-WELL YOUR DICK WAS TINY!"
"N-NO, YOURS WAS"
>And then angry sperg sex happens

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>>28757258
>"YEAH?!, W-WELL YOUR DICK WAS TINY!"
>"N-NO, YOURS WAS"
whenever I see stuff like this it gets me everytime

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>>28743262
the rarest bird
>tfw no drawing skill
>tfw can't draw ponies/anthro/human/anything
>tfw i use all my shitty skills to make a shitty meme
>tfw no scanner
can i an hero yet?

up

>>28758633

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>>28730615
Can't possibly say no to this.

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>>28760213
Me neither. God damn it

>>28760213
Unf

>>28758045
COOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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>>28757258
>"WELL YOUR DICK WAS TINY!"

>>28757258
>"YOU CAME 6 TIMES!"
"I FAKED THEM ALL!"
>"NO YOU DIDN'T, I FAKED MINE!"
"NO WAY YOU WERE FAKING WHEN YOU HELD ME CLOSE AND BIT MY EAR TO TELL ME YOU LOVED ME!"
>"OH PLEASE! NOT EVEN YOUR OWN MOTHER LOVES YOU!"
"AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO FAKE MY ORGASMS WITH HER!"
>"YEAH WELL--wait, what?"
"I said I don't have to...you know."
>"Anon, what the fuck?"
"It was a joke."
>"No, dude, that's fucked up."
"No no, it was a joke. I thought we were doing some escalation sort of thing and I just jumped up so--"
>"You don't joke about that."
"Fluttershy come on. You know me. I wouldn't do that!"
>"Obviously I don't know you. God, I feel so filthy now."
"Oh come on!"
>"Later, incestfag."
"I'm not into incest! My mother is hideous! I hate her!"
>That's no way to speak about your mother. Jeez, you're such a terrible person."
"F-fluttershy! Come on!"

>>28761590
i don't know why, but i feel this green is like one of the classic 4chan spaghetti posts

>>28760213
>"oh! i see you're trying to masturbate out here, here, let me help you!"
>*lifts up skirt*
element of kindness everyone

>>28760213
f-fug

>>28761682
>Your eyes widen
>Fluttershy has a huge bulge underneath kitty print panties.
>In fact she looks like she's part black man. Makes you look like an Asian man in comparison.

>>28761590
Don't stop there dude

>>28760213
>>28761682
>Isn't nature fascinating

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>>28760213
Into the fap folder you go

>The class is on a camping trip
>Anon and FS are, as usual, bickering
>"And here, as you can see, we have a rare coot nes-"
>"Oh look, anon! Isn't that the bird you love so much?"
"Oh, shut the fuck up, she's nothing compared to Lulu"
>"Uh, guys, could you please list-"
>"Uh-uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure a stupid meme is way more important than a real, living work of nature...stupid Chromefag"
"FUCK YOU, SLUTFAG! LULU IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN A LOT OF THINGS, INCLUDING YOU!"
>"SHE'S NOT A SLUT, I TOLD YOU! UNLIKE THAT STUPID PUP OF YOURS!"
"SHUT UP, YOU NORMIE!!! COOO!!! COOOO!!!"

>>28736023
"I'm just in love, thst's all."

>>28763279
>The coots get scared
>The entire flock flies away, releasing lots of poo on the heads of their classmates
>Anon and FS keep bickering
>"CHROMATIC QUIRK IS A STUPID PUP"
"COOOO! COOOO! COOOO!"

"Well if it isn't the slutfag, how many dicks did """"""""""Classy"""""""" retriever take this week?
>"ANON IF YOU DON'T STOP I SWEAR I'LL STOP TALKING TO YOU"
"COOO! COOO!"
>"..."
>"..."
"Looks like the slutfag is speechless in the face of facts!"
>"..."
"COOOO!"
>"..."
"Cooo.."
>"..."
"Please Fluttershy don't do this you're my only friend I love you so much I'm sorry"

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"...GET A FUCKING ROOM, YOU TWO!"

"...Fluttershy?"
>"..."
"Flutterpie?"
>"..."
"Cutest shy g-girl?"
>"..."
"I b-beg of you, stop ignoring me"
>"What do you want, anon? I'm still peeved at you"
"I...am sorry..."
>"..."
"A-and Classy Retriever is an ok pup. I just got carried away"
>"...well, ok, apology accepted."
"Also, I got...the special edition dvd of Poundland Cuties. W-wanna watch it with me?"
>"..."
"Come on..."
>"..."
"Ok, ok, I get it...s-sorry...maybe another time..."
>"Anon"
"...yes?"
>"Come here, you stupid. Just don't hug me..."
"Oh, thank you fluttershy! I wo-"
>"...more than 3 times per hour."

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>>28763344
>>28763382
HHHHHHNNNGGGGGGG

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>>28763382
And then anon ruins everything by needing to be right all the time.

>>28763402
"I'm telling you Chromia is pure!"
>"Anon, it's just a cartoon, calm down"
>"JUST A CARTOOON!? AGAIN WITH THIS SHIT!? HOW DARE YOU!!"
>"Hush, now, relax...gimme a hu-"
"COOOOOOOO!!!! COOOOOO!!!!"
>"..."
"COOOOOO!!!! COOOOOO!!!! COOOOOO!!!!"
>"...hey, Anon, do you know when else do pigeons coo?"
"COOOOO!!!! COOOOOO!!! COOOOO!!!"
>"When they are in love..."
"COOOOooooo....c-cooo...."
>"...cooo."

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>>28763413
Snake, do you think love can bloom even on the battlefield of autism?

>>28761590
>not owning up to it and admitting you fuck your dad, too
>then threatening to fuck her parents
Step it up, slutfag.

>>28761682
Please move out of the way, I'm trying to masturbate to those pigeons.

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>>28763489
>Please move out of the way, I'm trying to masturbate to those pigeons.

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>>28763413
cute

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>>28763413
aw

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>>28758045
You make a good bird

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>>28763413
One more

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>>28763996

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>>28763413
m-more?

>>28764498
Seconded.

>>28764498
Thirded

>>28764498
Fourded.

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These two green are awesome

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>>28763996
>>28764002
>>28764060
>tfw my shitty drawing got neatly fixed
thanks dude.

>>28765080
don't let your memes be dreams

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>>28763413
Bump for more autism romance

>>28750684
>Arriving at art class.
>Scanning doorway.
>Door confirmed open.
>Entering art class.
>Scanning student.
>Faces matching Fluttershy's: 1.
>Approaching Fluttershy.
>Detecting cringe. Evaluating Fluttershy.
>Conclusion: shy.
>Searching for response.
>Friendship deemed highly valuable within school.
>Inserting self as friend.
"There is no need for you to be shy around me, Fluttershy. I am a friend."
>Insertion complete.
>Awaiting response.
>"F-f-friend?"
"Affirmative. We are friends."
>"Oh...y-yay..."
>Words do match tone of voice. Detecting sarcasm.
>Suggested response: socially acceptable amount of sarcasm.
"Yes. You and I are friends in the same manner that you remove yourself from social situations for fear of being outcast. To clarify, that is very well."
>"Was...that an insult?"
"Negative."
>"It sounded like one."
"Negative. It was a socially acceptable amount of sarcasm."
>"A-according to who?"
>Registering question.
>Scanning for response.
>Error.
>Creator unknown.
"I have no knowledge of this person. Further study on the subject is required. Until such point, please refrain from its mention."
>"O-ok..."
>"What are you doing in my art class?"
>Detecting teacher.

>>28766052
>Evaluating previous encounters with teachers.
>Conclusion: encounters unfavorable.
>Determining new approach.
>Evaluating previous encounter with Fluttershy.
>Insertion as friend deemed highly effective at calming opposition.
>Becoming friend.
"I am here to become your friend."
>Befriending successful.
>"Yeah, well you can do it on your own time. I have students to teach."
>Error.
>Amending previous evaluation. Befriending unsuccessful.
>"Now class, take out your red paint and really smear it on the canvas. This symbolizes the internal rage and angst of the human condition. It's true because I'm saying it. Otherwise you wouldn't be able to tell what's going on in this meaningless mess of colors."
>Teacher values art.
>Scanning for open canvas.
>None detected.
>Acquiring canvas.
>"Hey bruh, I'm painting! Watch it!"
>Canvas acquired.
>Scanning for famous art pieces.
>Found files on Michelangelo.
>Recreating the Sistine Chapel.
>"Wow...look at him go."
>"That's so cool."
>"I can't believe my mind."
>Recreation complete.
>Removing canvas from stand.
>Approaching teacher.
>Displaying art.
"I have demonstrated skill in a field you value. We are friends now."
>"It's horrible!"
>Detecting anger from teacher.
>"Look at this utter shit! There's no symbolism! It's just...shit!"
"Negative. There is a great deal of symbolism within this painting."
>"NO!"
>Canvas lost.
>Teacher stepping on canvas.
>Sign of aggression? Likely.
>Preparing defensive measures.
>"THIS is art!"
>Following teacher's gesture.
>Scanning canvas.
>1 large spot of red covered by 3 blue stripes.
>Detecting feces.
>Cross referencing with 3000 years of art history.
>Conclusion: not art.
"Negative."
>"WHAT?!"
"Negative."
>"What do you mean negative?!"
"This is not art. This is an unorganized collection of lines and feces."
>"Did you just call my masterpiece shit?!"
"No. I have detected feces in the bottom corner."
>"Get out of my class!"
>Obstacle reached.

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>>28730615
Sure why not, just let me get a little high, you wanna get high?

>>28766135
May the lord have mercy on our sides.

>>28766135
holy shit my sides have made it to Equestria

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>>28766135
>"I am here to become your friend."
>Befriending successful.

>>28763413
FUcks sake I'm reading that shit because it's funny.
You're not supposed to make me hnngh.
Good job anon.

>>28763413
OH MY GOD MY HEART

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>A couple weeks later
>Anon and Fluttershy are a stable couple now, despite the constant, silly bickering
>One day, during a date, they stroll in front of a toy shop
>the front window is showcasing the last series of Magipup dolls
>Anon, who is giving his arm to Fluttershy, notices it and after a girly squeal runs to the window
"FLU, LOOK!"
>She giggles
>"Aaaaw, they are adorable...and you too."
"Shiiiiit, they cost far too much"
>"Well, who knows...maybe one little bird could, dunno, buy one for you for christmas..."
"F-For real!?"
>"...only time will tell..."
"Aaaw, don't leave me hanging there...you're being mean!"
>"Only good boys get...TOYS"
>A brief moment of silence
>Disheartened, anon keeps silent for a while then starts puffing his cheeks
"Y-YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!!!"
>"Yes, I did" and by saying that she hugs his arm and lays her head on his shoulder "I did. Now coo to me once more, my lovebird"
"...coo...coo..."
>"You're never getting Chromatic Quirk, by the way"
"ENLARGING CHE-"
>Without a word, she grabs him by the cheeks and kisses him
>"Just kidding, Chromia it is. Just don't you ever dare stopping cooing at me"
"coo."
>"...coo."

>>28767567
MAXIMUM HNNNGGG
thank you based writefag this was great

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>>28763413
>>28767567
And then they argue about stupid baby names.

>>28767567
Autism shouldn't be this adorable!

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>>28766135
Holy shit, what can't Terminator anon do?

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>>28763413

>>28767586
"i choose her name, my little lovebird"
>"okay sweetie, what's her name?"
"patricia hyena smith"
>".... umm, anon, i thinks that name is-"
"COOOOOOO!!!!!!"

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>>28768325
>i thinks that name is-"
>"COOOOOOO!!!!!!"
The biggest COOOO

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>>28768325

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>>28763344
>>28763382
>>28763413
>tfw no autistic gf who understands you

>>28760213
Spectre Z is a fucking legend

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>anon accept your invite
>he came to your house and the two sit in the couch
>22 min after the show started
>he liked the show ?
>he is sleeping?oh he don't liked
>try to wake him up
>anon cant wake up
>SAVE MEEE
>anon is dead

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>>28769043
Shit, anon. I didn't come here for the feels

>>28758045
>>28763996
>>28764002
>>28764060
Fukken saved

Someone needs to save those two greens. Either on a pastebin or a screencap.

>>28738325
>9CB864C
Isn't that the code for the shitty version of Never Gonna Give You up? I use that shit all the time, since the real Rick Roll song is actually good.

Does the video actually exist, or not?

>>28770715
Not that anon, I don't know about that video but I've heard rumours about her having some kind of video out there. No idea what's actually on it, but almost every time there's a KP thread a few anons will mention it - too many times for it to just be one guy shitposting

bumping for robot anon

bumping for autism-romance

>>28771458
Autism romance is basically over, anon >>28767567

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>>28771483
No, they still have to have there first rough patch/break up. Only then will we know if thier love was strong enough.
And then we can have makeup sex

>>28771483
THEN WE JUST HAVE TO MAKE A NEW AUTISM STORY

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>>28771560
With blackjack and hookers?

>>28771595
In fact, forget about blackjack.

>>28771595
What's wrong with her bobs?

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>>28771696
>bobs
wait what?

>>28771696
>>28771826
*boobs

COOOOO COOOO MOTHERFUCKERS

more green please

>>28730615
>i see she is an autist who cannot reveal power level
"Hey everyone. Fluttershy likes ponies, bullies she likes ponies."
>"so what"
"Shes a dashfag"
>bullies beat her until she kills herself

Yay

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>>28775223
>namefag

>pulls up chair unzips bag pull out

>all of the FiM DVD copies i own

>"ok flutters lets watch some ponies"

>she giggles and sits down next to me

#MLPandchill

>>28763413
My. Fucking. Heart.
HNNGGGG

>>28776893
A qt

>>28764498
5's for this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1znjpNJoni8

>>28775223
Not a fluent English speaker?

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>>28766135
>classical art
>[CURRENT YEAR]

>Anon and Fluttershy have become quite the sensation at school
>nobody believed he could possibly manage to score with a girl, let alone with Fluttershy
>This tho led to some weird reaction from other anons
>Hallway
>Sunset is absent mindedly putting some books into her locker, thinking of home
>All of a sudden, something to her left catches her attention
>It's Anon #764
>staring at her, blushing
>"Uh...hi there, Anon."
"H-hi, Sunset."
>"W...what's the matter? You seem...weird"
"I j-just wanted to...a-ask...you..."
>"Tell me"
"A-ask you...."
>"Yes?"
"..."
>"..."
"..."
>"Hey, buddy, come on. Calm down. We're friends, just tell me what's bothering you"
"..."
>"Come ooon..."
"Coo"
>"...I beg your pardon?"
"Coo!"
>"I...I don't understand"
"Coo! Cooooo!!"
>"H-hey, cut it out, this boots are new!"
"COOO! COOOO! COOOOO! COOOO!"
>"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

>The news of Anon #810's success led to unexpected consequences
>The other anons heard that he and Fluttershy fell in love after he cooed angrily at her many times
>This, in their minds, led to the conclusion that cooing was the key to success.
>Not just as a method.
>More like a religion.
>They founded the Secret Order of the Pigeon
>And Lulu became their winged goddess
>Their aim, to turn their virgin life around.
>And make more babies, in the name of Lulu.

>>28781406

>>28780511
This is great too, thanks anon.
We need more shenanigans.
I want the mane 6 to make fun of the ongoing autism, but falling in love themselves.

>>28780511
kek

>>28766135
>"Get out now! And take your meaningless trite with you!"
>Scanning for solutions.
>Suggested responses: politely ask for forgiveness, stand your ground, blow it all up, feign injury, utilize friendship tools.
>"Don't make me get the principal!"
"Please hold. Searching for solution to obstacle."
>"Oh, so I'm an obstacle now?!"
>Proximity breach.
>Detecting increased force on shoulder.
>Sign of aggression? Affirmative.
>Detecting concealed weapon.
>Threat level 15. Red alert.
>Deploying defensive measures.
>Locating teacher's elbow.
>Applying pressure.
>Breaking successful.
"Please refrain from touching my person. Invasion of my personal space shall result in injury."
>"OH GOD! OH MY GOD! MY ARM!"
"Do you comply?"
>"OH FUCK! SOMEBODY GET THE NURSE! NO, CALL THE COPS! OOOOH GOD THE PAIN!"
"Do you comply?"
>"FUCK YOU!"
>Locating other elbow.
>"YES! Y-YES! I COMPLY!"
>Defensive measures successful.
>Removing concealed weapon from teacher's person.
>Analyzing weapon.
>Error.
>It was a paintbrush.
>Reevaluating threat level.
>Threat level 7.
>Detecting mistake.
>Running Oopsie program.
"It appears I have miscalculated and the result has caused you harm. I am sorry."
>Detecting sniffles.
>Sign of aggression? No.
>"R-really?"
"Affirmative."
>"W-well...if you're s-sorry... Alright kids, I guess we d-don't need the cops."
>Apology successful.
>Ending program.
"Are we friends now?"
>"Fuck no."
"We are friends now."
>Deploying hug.
>"Please don't touch me."

>>28782811
>"Are we friends now?"
>>"Fuck no."
>"We are friends now."
>>Deploying hug.
>>"Please don't touch me."
Fucking ten stars.

>>28782811

I love this I need more of this in my life 10.5/10

>>28781971
This Anon knows his shit

>>28780538
I need this.
COOOOOO! COOOOOOOO! COOOOOO!

>>28782811
>Deploying hug
KEK

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>>28782811

>>28782811
Oh god I need more Terminanon in my life after this.

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>>28782811
>"Please don't touch me."

>>28731222
Trips speak the truth.