>"Anonymous, on multiple accounts of murder and other

>rape raop

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>>28634099
Id bring up the past cases of Starlight and Sunset.
Both have done life sentence/death penalty level crap but they got a second chance. I should too.

>>28634099
I proceed to sing https://youtube.com/watch?v=4feUSTS21-8 for everyone in attendance.

>>28634099
I want my lawyer! You hear that? Call my attorney!

>>28634151
Fug forgot to take off muh trip, sorry lads

>I sentence you to be hung
But Celestia... I'M ALREADY HUNG!

>>28634099
"Dam it sister, i keep telling you. You can't sentence ponies to death for eating your cake! And it is NOT murder! "

>>28634151
>You take a deep breath, making sure to appear calm and collected
>"I have my request, Sunbutt.", You say in a sarcastic manner
>Celestia clearly disapproves of the nickname, but nevertheless agrees to hear your request
>"Bring me a radio." You say.
>Celestia, unable to hide the confusion on her face, agrees
>"Bring out a radio!" She booms with her magically-enhanced voice
>A radio is brought out and placed next to you
>"Anon, your five minutes begins now."
>You insert a cassette tape you had hidden in your anus in case of emergency
>You press play
>The mix of Shake That Ass by Eminem begins to play
>You take another deep breath, and on cue, you begin to chant out by heart:
>"2 to the 1, and the 1 to the 3, I like good pussy and I like good trees."

>>28634099
I would....


Pee on everything.

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I just wanna say, you know those people I put down, the people I killed?
I want you to know that I'd do it again. This is a circus, a charade, an act, it's bullshit is what it is!
I ain't crazy, I know what I did, I know who I am. I'm in my right goddamn mind! And any lowlife, any maggot piece of shit that I put down, I did it because I liked it! Hell, I loved it!
You think you're gonna kill me, stop me from doing what I wanna do?! Well that ain't happenin, not on my watch!
You call me the Punisher, right? The big bad Punisher. You want it, you got it!
I am the Punisher!

>>28634099
"I came inside Rainbow Dash."

>>28634099

"On June the 1st, six years ago, Celestia came to me seeking a certain job be done. I agreed. 14 months later, she came to me again with another job, and once more, I agreed. She referred me to her sister, her niece, and her student. For all these mares, I performed many jobs. They came to me because I was a professional. I never asked questions, I never refused, and I never left any evidence."
>"I've changed my mind. Your time is up."
"Until 3 months ago, when Princess Celestia came to me with a job so atrocious I could not complete it."
>"Guards!"
>Several armored ponies surround you.
>One comes up from behind, grabs onto you with his forelegs, and begins to pull you away.
>You keep your eyes on the crowd and speak loud and firm.
"Even I, a mercenary for the crown, could not put down this mare. Yes, that's right. For 6 years, I murdered in cold blood on the orders of your own princesses!"
>The crowd gasps.
>"Shut him up!"
>A hoof flies in front of your mouth.
>You shake free and lunge forward, almost leaping off the stage which she had put you on.
"So I refused! I rebelled! I helped this target out of Equestria, and for that, Celestia deemed me broken! An old tool fit to be replaced!"
>A hot glow envelopes you.
>You're lifted off the ground and thrown through the air.
>The noose, primed and ready just for you, slips around your neck.
"I am but a gun! Your princesses aimed me, gave me the ammunition, and set me loose upon the world! Watch them closely, Equestria! Watch them--"
>You can feel your feet being pulled down with great force, forcing the noose to do its job and end your life.

I'm too sober for this shit. Bring me more PC duster.

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"I shall rise from my grave to avenge my death with all the powers of hell, The blood is the life."

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>>28634099
>"By Equestrian law, we allow you to have a maximum of five minutes to speak your final words."
>Five minutes

>With my feet on the trap and my head in the noose, I got five more minutes to go!
>Won't somebody come and cut me loose, I got 4 more minutes to go!
>I can see the mountain, I can see the sky, I got 3 more minutes to go!
>And it's to darn pretty for a man to wanna die, I got 2 more minutes to go!
>I can see the buzzards, I can hear the crows, one more minute to go!
>And now I'm swingin' and here I-

>>28634099

Thank you, for allowing me to speak. I feel instead of dying a mystery, I want to be understood in some small way. When I came to this world, I sought so hard to fit in and make friends. But you ponies, you all feared and reviled me for my form. 'Grotesque' is the least cruel thing that was said of me. Everything I tried failed, all you ever saw was a monster. Being treated as a monster for so long, as my anger grew, I saw no good reason to behave any other way. When I met the hive queen, I found one just as myself, I finally had a friend.

I suppose this is the time to express remorse for starting this war. But, I go to my grave remorseless.

I will, however, apologize. I'm not sorry for starting this war, though. I'm just sorry that I didn't kill more of you.

I was this world's first human. I go to my death laughing, because until right now, I was the only one who knew that more of us are coming.

>>28634099
>The noose is tied around your neck and tightened
>Standing on the trap door, the timer counts down
>3... 2... 1....
>The door gives way beneath you
>Your feet hit the ground before the rope has even half straightened
>Fucking tiny pony's and there tiny gallows

doesn't matter still came

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>>28634099
Wow, when those clickbaits were offering to get me hung like a horse, this really wasn't what I had in mind.

>>28634099
Yes. I CAN TURN INTO A SUPER SAYIAN BITCH WUT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW!?

>>28634099
"I accidently opened this retarded prompt thread while trying to shift-click hide it. Also, kill yourself op."

>>28634133
>Sunset
Who? You mean the fictional character who doesn't exist in pony world?

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>>28634099
Don't you remember what happened last time?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66QcIlblI1U

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>>28634099

>"The Princesses offered me a deal I could not refuse. My life for Equestria's. They promised me a sentence in comfortable confinement if I confessed to these crimes."

>"The court saw fit to do otherwise. I'd still do it all again, just to see your smiling faces instead of your graves. The blood is on my hands, not your hooves. Live in harmony. Time to die."

>And then I saved them the trouble of pulling the lever and jumped. Everything tingled like a billion pins and needles as the rope tightened and the world went into golden light that faded away to black.

>"...hello? Am I dead? Can anyone hear me?"

---

>In Tartarus, there is a man, hung by a chain around his neck, cold in stone above fire hotter than sin. A root of Yggdrasil keeps him fast.

>Where up is down, down is up, and upside down is hanging free, Anon will be.

>And for his sacrifice, death will come only after eternity.

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>>28634099
>Let's do it

>You ponder for a second and stare the horse down with your heavy gaze.
>She meets your eyes with dignity and a stoic unchanged expression
"So you think of me as a monster. And now, at this point. By all accounts I am one."
"Because you made me one. Your society built on lies and nice to insiders, but horribly, horribly racist and fucked up to anyone who does not think the same."
"We have this innate trust to those inside your circlejerk of multicolored horses. Everyone is equal. Every villain is misunderstood. Every pony is nice by default or can be befriended to shit and MADE nice."
"And it can be abused. And it so often is."
"Do you really think a rapist, a child molester can be pardoned with saying sorry couple times?"
"A true monster hides in the shadows again when beaten. It plans, it gains insight, strength. And strikes again, this time with less chance of being caught."
"I killed, I stole, I wrought mayhem and destruction to the monsters inside your ranks. And i'm not talking about changelings. Those perhaps are the most honest of them all."
"I took it upon myself to end threats you can't seem to even acknowledge the existence of."
"Such is the nature of us. Monsters."
"And better to have a monster at your side, than..."
>"Ahem. Anonymous, if you are going to spend your last minutes in silence - so be it."
>You are brought out of your daydreaming by a stern voice.
>Shit
"PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I will do whatever you want to! I will lick your hooves, I will be your slave, please don't hang meee-eheheeee!"
>Celestia looks at you with an unamused expression.
>"Sister. Hands.", - Luna whispers loudly.
>"A fair point. Anonymous, you are hereby sentenced to indefinite correctional work for the state. I myself will be your personal supervisor. Guards, take him to my private chambers."

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>>28637513
pic related

dicks

I play this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IStlBOX9F4o

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>>28634099
>Have you any famous last words anon?

>"Not Yet."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZ0jZaH48b8

>>28636491
I liked that thread alot... Good shit

>>28636491
that was a good thread

>>28634099
"You cannot kill me Celly. After all, the ride never ends."
>"Is that all?
"The ride, uh, never ends" you say in your Goldblum impression.
>"Take him away guards."
>The guards drag you by your sleeves to the gallows.
"You really don't want to do this., you'll be sorry"
>"I've lost count how many times I've heard that one Anon."
"First time for everything Princess."
>They place you on the platform and fit you for you new necktie. It's a bit itchy, maybe they should wet it first.
>"Doubtful, Throw the switch" the princes motions with her head.
>The platform drops from under you and the rope tightens.
>You hang limp as your lifeless eyes stare at the ground. You still keep that coy expression, because your stalling for effect.
>A guard approaches you with his spear at the ready.
>Come on, just a bit closer.
>NOW!!1!
"WHAT DID I TELL YOU PRINCESS? THE RIDE NEVER ENDS" , to the horror of the crowd you shed your fleshy disguise and don your top hat.
>"Mr Bones? I should have known, What have you done with Anonymous!?" Cellestia demands.
"A Gentlebone never kisses and tells, I can't have you killing him on my watch, the ride never ends.
>You rattle your way past the terrified guards up to the throne. "I've got a bone to pick with you though princess, where is your proof of Anon's supposed murders?
>This peeves her and makes her use her big girl voice. "HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME"
>Jeez I'm right here you don't have to yell.
>"Who else but anonymous is capable of these gruesome killings, eye's gouged, limbs torn, horns and wings broken!" She continues. "Have you heard anything he's said about his barbaric culture? he even told me of war that lasted a century!"
"I've been keeping a close watch on Anon, and he's not the savage murderer you think he is." You explain. You don't wanna know what he's doing at midnight, but it sure isn't killing ponies.

Be Anon.
>You hope Mr bones let's you out of his top hat soon, and you hope this doesn't count as a ride.

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>>28638167
would you be willing to continue? this is pretty good

>>28634099
I got a related green......i'll post it as soon as other Anons finish...

do this
https://youtu.be/-dyO9SWiY7k

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>>28634099
>Today was the day
>It was really happening, your rebellion had failed.
>Your army lay in shambles and Celestia rained supreme as the unquestionable matriarch of Equestria.
>As you lay, before her, knees touching the wooden floorboards of the elevated platform, wrist's and ankles bound in shackles, battered and bruised with the hissing of the crowd just below you whisper to her...
"Well....I wouldn't mind hearing my favorite song....just one last time...."
>She pauses....then stares into the crowd.
>"Very well Anonymous, because you have always been of sound mind and mild temperament. I shall permit you this one request!"
>"Tell us the name of the final muse you'd like to hear, for your final moments on this earth."
>A wash of cool relief overtakes you as you shambly rise to your feet.
"Oh...thank you, Celestia, truly your mercy is without equal."
"The song that I'd like to hear, unfortunately...can only be played~Ahem, with one of my human contraptions....BUT, you could have Fluttershy bring it! She'll know exactly where and what I want....will that be a problem?"
>Clearly vexed she stomps her hoof and replies
>"You press your luck human!"
>The crowd, however, seems to disagree as they begin to boo Celestia now.
>"Fine! Fluttershy!"
>She screeched as the yellow pegasus stammered onto the stage.
>"Oh~my...umm yes your highness."
>She replied kneeling before her.
>"Bring Anonymous the music he so desires."
>"Oh...umm...sure Celestia but... it's umm maybe not appropriate..."
>Celestia growing ever more impatient yelled
>"I don't care just bring it!"
>"Yes ma'am right away." She said as she blazed off

>>28634099
THE ARISTOCRATS

>>28638403
>Automatically your sentence is taken away and everything is played off as satire.
>Celestia and the public masses come to think of you as a genius

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>>28638388
>Some time had passed, but she had returned with a dingy black sony stereo complete with tape deck attachment.
>"umm last chance Celestia....are...are you sure..." She meekly said fumbling with a single black cassette
>"JUST PLAY THE SONG!"
>"EEP!"
>She quickly turned back to the stereo, tripping over herself and dropping the cassette. She tries to pick up the tape only to drop it over, and over again.
>When she does finally grab it she struggles to even place the cassette tape into the stereo.
>Celestia, just closes her eyes and tries to breath...
>"There!"
>"Finally!" Celestia whispered
>"Now the stage is set Anonymous!"
"Oh...it definitely is."
>You whispered as the yellow pegasus slowly inched her hoof to the play button.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xrSH0G8kBo
>The song bellows and screeches throughout the stage.
>"WHAT!?!??! WHAT IS THIS!" Celestia yells
>"Turn it off immediately"
"NOW WAIT JUST A GOD DAME MINUTE!"
>You say as rise to your feet, and rip the shackles appart.
"YOU TOUCH THAT STEREO AND IM GONNA STICK IT RIGHT UP YOUR ASS BOY!"
>"Guards seize him!" Celestia said as they began to storm the stage
>The first one an earth pony with a blue mane charges you with his spear
>You side step him and grab it and deliver a giant kick to his jugular, he flies off the stage and two more charge you! >The song, still playing in the background, invigorating you, inspiring you!
>Two more charge you both unicorns, both clad in heavy armor this time
>You swing the spear at the one to your right like a baseball bat shattering it on his chest as he tumbles behind you.
>The other grabs you at the waist with his hooves tying to force you to the ground but you ain't havin none of that shit.
>You slam your fist onto his back and releases his grip.
>You grab him and shove his head in-between your legs, hoist him into the air then slam him back first onto the wooden floor.
"It's just you and me now candy ass!" You said pointing your finger at Celestia

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>>28638473
>Terror fills her eyes, and she begins to flap her wings.
>but you charge her just as she's taking off from the side of the stage. Tackling her before her hooves can even leave the ground, both of you fly into the crowd tumbling.
>Some ponies begin to flee while others watch with sheer terror, the remaining onlookers, form a circle around the two of you.
>Fluttershy, during this confusion, nopes the fuck out and can be seen running in the distance.
>Celestia flails her legs violently in an attempt to break free as the two of you scramble on the ground for control.
>She begins to tire and you seize the opportunity, slamming your fist into her snout. Blood gushes from it, as she goes limp.
>Cuffing her by her mane you Stand, and she drudgedly does so as well.
>With her on her feet, now was the time to finish this.
>Lifting her head to face you, you swiftly kick her in her stomach and she wheezes what little air was left in her longs.
>You follow this up by even more quickly turning around so that your back faces her, then you cup her neck into your arm as you throw yourself onto the ground ass first. Her neck comes slamming against your shoulder. Her whole body stiffens and then goes limp again.
>Your revenge is complete. You quickly turn and run, leaving the city, and onto your final target....the mare who sold you out.

>>28634643
And you still die

>>28634099
>I sentence you to be hung from the neck until dead
The word is "hanged".

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>>28638500
>Elseware at Fluttershy's cottage, the yellow mare was clamouring to store her belongings into a brief case sweat dripping from her.
>"OH NO NO NO NO! THEY SAID IT WOULDN'T BE LIKE THIS NOO!!" She said to herself as she stuffed her bags.
>"Maybe I can leave town before he gets here. I mean surely he'll be trying to lay low for awhile right?"
>Very suddenly loud banging was heard at her cottages door.
>"Ohh, no no no...maybe it isn't him...."
"OPEN THE DOOR FAGGOT!"
>"Eeep!"
>Forgeting entirely about her belongings the yellow mare runs for the nearest window and jumps from it.
>Only to find you in hot pursuit!
>She begins sprinting into the forest, you just behind her.
>You eventually close the gap and take a might leap! Grabbing her by her hunches, both of you tumble onto the ground.
>You shove her face into the ground and raise her hunches.
>"I'M SORRY I'M SORRY ANON! Please, no, I'll leave town, you'll never hear from me again! We can work something out I swear!"
"The only thing getting worked out is this pine cone up your ass!"
>She gasps her eyes catch a glimpse of you, your left hand shoving her face into the dirt while your right was grasping a massive pine cone you'd grabbed from the floor.
>She began to buck violently in a desperate attempt to free herself. So violently in fact that you had to hold her neck down with your knee and grab her rump with your left arm, just to keep it still.
>She began to cry, loudly.
>You move her tail and position the pine cone head at the tip of her anus
>"I'M SORRY ANON!!"
> She screams as you ram the pinecone in with all your might!
>And release her
>Your work here is done.

>You walk off into the sunset...and as you do you can hear fluttershy screaming about her anus.
>Something about a tear...but you didn't care.
>You were moving to Saddle Arabia.
fin

>>28638511
Anon, forever the failure.

Cakes aren't alive Celery, if they were you'd be wanted for Genocide

And you had to admit that the hair thing was funny a little

Luna laughed too, why isn't she being executed

>>28638500
BAH GOD JR

>>28634099
"ILL FADE AWAY AND CLASSIFY MYSELF AS OBSOLETE!"

>>28634518
That was pretty good
>>28634099
Kill me and I'll haunt your kitchen cabinets, horse

THE JEWS DID 9/11
POOLS CLOSED
POOLS CLOSED
GAS THE KIKES
RACE WAR NOW

>>28634099
I'm sorry.

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>>28634258
My sides

>>28634099
I repeat "Rarity is a slut" for five minutes

>>28638305
for (You)


>"And who or what do you think is responsible for this crimes?" you over hear the princess say.
>"kekekek, I think you might have it out for old Anon, you haven't noticed where and how the bodies lay.
>There's s a poof, coupled with the sound of a projector rolling. Soon after you hear ponies screaming, running and....vomiting? You thought horses couldn't vomit.
>After a few more clicks the the crowd quiets down.
>"Haven't you noticed that every body was on the outsckirts of town, and splattered against the ground as if it were dropped form a significant height?"
>"Anon's got a 3 foot vertical leap at best"
>3 and a half foot, thank you.
>We're looking for sompony or something that can manage to drop a Pegasuses from a hight it couldn't survive.
You can feel celly scrunch from here.
>Alright, in light of this new evidence, Anonymous is hereby pardoned.
>A sigh of relief sweeps the court.
>"with that out of the way, will you please bring anonymous from wherever you've hidden him?"
>"As you wish Your Highness,"
>Your world gets rocky as you are shaken against the walls and out of an opening in the floor. You hit the marble tiles back first.
"Oww, why?"
>"That's a strange way of saying thank you." Mr. Bones retorts.
>You'd be mad if he weren't so good looking. "I thank Mr Skeletal for your calcium courage." you roll your eyes.
"Am I free to go Your Majesty?" you slowly turn towards the princess.
>"Yes you are Anon, Adeu~" she replies.
>You about face and run out of there. This was too close, but you'll have to keep up the midnight snap&dropsies to keep appearances up. You'll find a Manticore to blame this on sooner or later.
here's a pastebin for later: http://pastebin.com/u/Slamnonymous

>>28639994
based