Thread replies: 41
Thread images: 6
Thread images: 6
>"Anon, when are you going to get off your butt and help me clean the library?!"
>Twilight's pleadings and frustrated exclamations bring shameless joy to your ears. However, you are much too invested in your book to give much of a damn.
>You are Anon. Pretty cool, right?
>It's only your second day in Ponyville, and it's already becoming a perfect reflection of your previous life on Earth.
>Get a job already, stop kicking the dog/dragon, Oh God/Celestia, what are these stains on my pillow, blah blah blah. Same old, same old.
>You liked Equestria, honestly. But alas, even in horseland, you can't escape the cold grip of financial and social responsibility.
>A shimmering, slightly wet sensation envelopes you, and you are lifted into the air. Your book on 'Taboo and Abandoned Equestrian Lingo' falls to the floor.
>Twilight has you in her magical grip.
"Let go of me, you purple bibliophile," You say, sticking out your tongue. Twilight seems surprised that you even know that word.
>The surprise doesn't last that long, of course. Twilight gives you a few rapid shakes with her magic. Your brain rattles.
"Okay, stop that."
>"Listen here, Anon!" Twilight growls through her horse-teeth. "I'm not releasing you from my magic until you promise to stop being such a lazy and terrible friend!"
"Terrible friend?" you gasp. "I mean, sure, lazy is reasonable, but terrible? Come on now, violet shetland, when have I ever been a 'terrible friend'?" you whisper, trying to sound sincerely hurt and offended.
>She doesn't buy it. Hell, she doesn't even look at the price tag.
>"You punted Spike through my window, and then told me it was his fault!"
"It was," you say quietly, staring Twilight in the eyes. "He bit my finger."
>"That's because you wouldn't stop poking him in the snout!"
>You roll your eyes. Twilight squeezes you harder with her magic.
>"Darn it Anon, just promise me you'll stop being such a jerk! Until then, I'm not dropping you!" Twilight says resolutely.
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>>28254414
>Time for your trump card.
"Fuck you." you say.
>Twilight drops you.
>You land with a satisfying thump, and immediately pick up your book to resume your relaxing evening reading.
>There is absolute silence, for a solid ten minutes.
>You counted. While reading.
>"W-what did you just say, Anon?" Twilight whispers through rapid, shallow breaths.
>You look back up at Twilight, pursing your lips, and stare that lilac-colored bitch in the eyes. She's hyperventilating, and her pupils are mere dots.
"Fuck youuu."
>You drag out the 'you' for an unnecessary length, and tried your best at a high-pitched, pseudo-asian accent. It wasn't as funny as you had hoped.
>Instead, there's more repulsive, awkward silence.
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Interested bump
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Continue
Always love a good "Anon being a douche" story
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Moar?
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>>28254414
>>"Anon, when are you going to get off your butt and help me clean the library?!"
"You mean help SPIKE clean the library you lazy fucking..... PURPLE!"
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Hopeful bump
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>Twilight is shocked for a few more moments, before she leans in to read the cover of the book you're holding.
>"How to build a rubber fishing boat? I. . . don't own that book," Twilight comments slowly.
>You're pretty sure that the book you were reading was different, but you turn and read the cover yourself. The title seems to have changed miraculously.
"So I can have it?"
>She looks back up at you, her eyes narrowed.
>"Where did you learn that phrase?" Twilight demands.
"From my dad," you say with a smirk. Twilight frowns deeper.
>"Anon, you can't stay here anymore. Not after saying t-that," Twilight tells you, her voice wobbly.
>Your eyes widen.
>Spike looks up from his vigorous meat-beating session with mild confusion.
>"Woah, I swear the mood in here just shifted!"
>Classic Spike
>Twilight closes her eyes and bites her lips.
>"Anon, I'm sorry about this. Really, I am."
"Wait, you're kicking me out just because I said a swear? What kind of logic is that?"
>Twilight solemnly shakes her head, grabbing you once again with her magic.
>This time you hold the book tight.
>"You're lucky I have a resistance to dark magic," Twilight mutters. You cringe with confusion.
>Then she walks you over to the treehouse door, opens it, and hurls you out into the dark Ponyville streets.
>You roll for a few meters, still clutching the book.
>The treehouse door slams shut, and you hear the unfriendly sound of locks.
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>>28257522
>Great. All alone, once again.
>You sit up, staring at the book's cover in the moonlight.
>Right in front of your eyes, the book morphs. Its leather cover shrivels and cracks, before puffing into dust. Beneath is a different cover, bound with black snake scales.
>It reads in silver text, 'Curses That Are Actually Curses'
>The previous cover listed no author, but this one states clearly, 'Penned by The Fancy Drakon Nickis'
>Confusion worms its way into your brain, and you open the book. All of the words and phrases are still in the book, but the moonlight reveals captions explaining their uses and correct pronunciation.
>A few of the words, such as 'fuck', you already knew. Others were ridiculously long and confusing.
>Surprisingly enough, 'fuck you' has a very different effect than 'fuck'.
>However, both would get you thrown out of any Pony home.
>The curse you had hurled at Twilight supposedly would shrink the target's brain size significantly.
>If only it worked that way on Earth. You'd have been the only smart person left, at the rate you were going.
>You tuck the book under your arm, and stand up with a newfound sense of wonder.
"Curses. . .that are actually curses," you say with determination. "This could be fun."
>time2getbusy
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>>28257522
wut
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>>28257559
aw shit
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>>28257559
More, please. This was unexpected.
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>>28257559
Left hand: this sounds like it'll be good. Torment a pony for me.
Right hand: Give purple's smarts back, and never bother her again.
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wah wah bumpalump
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Neetanon
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>>28258541
Jesus man, spoiler that shit
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Bump
Get your ass back here writefag
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>>28254414
Too many neet anon greens, i guess it caters to the board demographic but, once in a while it should be good that anon isn't portrayed as a not-total loser for a change. He can have flaws and problems of course, but he should be able to stand of himself instead of being humilliated and acting cynical all the time.
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>>28260561
stand for *
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>>28254414
never ever
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Bedtime bump
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>>28260561
Behold, the first green with a non-autistic, non-loser Anon :
> DayEverydayin Equestria
> Today was a good day, everyone was nice and I enjoy life.
> There was some minor problems, but it got quickly solved with common sense and mutual understanding.
The End.I should right more green, I think I have a knack for it.
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>>28257559
Twiggy Piggy should've killed em
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>>28262015
pastebin?
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>>28262015
Stop anon, my penis can only get so erect.
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>>28262015
U-unf
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>>28258541
Why?
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bamp
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Here's a pastebin.
http://pastebin.com/bqq4VWPS
Anyways I have some other work I need to get done, but I'll update when I can.
The thread can die, I'll post in AiE in the future.
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>>28254431
Bump for deep, dark fantasies.
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>>28264455
Dude it redirects to a new pastes.
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>>28262015
kek
Fair enough, you make a good point.
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>>28264455
Good, it was stupid to seek attention by posting its own thread in the first place.
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Hmmm yeah i'll read this.
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>>28254414
>>"Anon, when are you going to get off your butt and help me clean the library?!"
Why would you clean a crater?
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>>28254414
>>"Anon
That where I stopped reading
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>>28267244
DELETE THIS
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>>28267007
Hey, that's a pretty good point James Bond! Haha!
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Shame. I liked the prompt
Thread posts: 41
Thread images: 6
Thread images: 6