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OC Thread

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Thread replies: 348
Thread images: 126

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Denouement Edition
Previous Thread: >>27963091

Post OCs, rate OCs. Drawfags and writefags are welcome and encouraged.
>>
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>>28068394
Reposting from last thread.

Feel free to r8
>>
>>28068705
Hard to see colours due to lighting in pic... Is this a green-eyed Lyra x Pony On Right In OP Pic fusion?

CM looks like a "fitness" cereal brand's logo.
>>
>>28068716
No idea who OP's picture is tbqh. Colors are two different pinks for the coat, mane, and tail, and a bluish-purple. Not a big fan of too many colors.

As for her CM, it's meant to have to do with fire, because she works in a candle shop.
>>
44 characters at once...
WhackAnon, you are greatest. Writefag. Ever. Of all time.
>>
>>28068763
She looks like white and low-sat darkish blue on grayish light blue in that light. Even knowing what she's supposed to see I can't get my brain around that. Do you have anything with the actual character colours? Even a palette?
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>>28066702
He did it, he actually did it, and then you feegits let the thread die.
Oh well. My boner salutes you, Whack.
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>>28069117
I just had to go to sleep, otherwise I would have helped keep it alive.
Believe it or not, I follow this story for the plot.
>>
>>28069163
Same here, it was already 2:30 am on my last bump.

stoked for the finale, a lot of loose ends to join there!
>>
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You guys scared me for a minute.
I woke up to check the thread and saw it was archived and I almost went nuclear on the glimposters before I realized someone had started a new one.
Anyway, the final green will come tonight. I love all of you.
>>
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>>28069630
And we love you, WhackAnon.

No homo.
>>
>>28069630
I love you full homo Whack.
>>
>page 7 in half an hour
This is fucking ridiculous.
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Still drew this, calling it Mr. Greasy.
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Posting this pic should summon Smokedad. That'll bring some antics.
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just doodling a better pic for this filly
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>>28070811
this guy might get named Brimstone Boulder

in that case he'll be a bassist/vocalist in a heavy metal band

>>28070811
and her big brother
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Lucky Seven anon? Don't remember if I ever posted this for you.

Alright faggots keep the thread alive, it's 2am again and I gotta sleep.
>>
bampu desu
>>
>>28070090
No I was sleeping.

Also Candlelight's creator told me that he has two wings now because one wing is gay.
>>
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>Enter the thread
>Realize that Whack Anon continued his story
>Realize that my OC might be dead by now
I deserve this
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>>28073588
Not dead, but I did ask to see if you would mind her being pregnant with Pocket Rocket's child in my CYOA.
>>
>>28070372
She looks like a happy lil slut.

Keep the thread up fammaz, mods are asleep and some retard shitposter fleet is spamming shim.
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>>28073556
Shit, I laughed for an hour at that before I realized what you were talking about.
I thought he meant that one wing was literally homosexual and the other was straight.
I'm so damn out of it today.
>>
>>28074189
He says headcanon acquired. Good work my man.
>>
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>>28074594
I love you fuckers.
I'm gonna post the last green in an hour. Whatever you guys wanna know about the story, let me know between now and then. I'm gonna tie up how Splendence got to the cave and some of Tension's backstory, anything else you wanna know, tell me.
>>
>>28074627
T'would be nice to know how Tension got to have such a "talent" with matching lewd-looking cutie mark. But, I suppose that sounts as backstory...
Perhaps the reason behind his need to drive ponies to sex.
>>
>>28074627
Just want to say you're one my favorite writefags now. I'm surprised you've held it out this long without losing interest. I've been neglecting the thread for a while but caught up withe the final chapter a couple days ago, and this is some serious devotion. Good work, my man.

though it is a shame my oc got skipped in the final act.
>>
>>28074730
Who was your OC? I thought I got all of them.
>>
>>28074756
raine
>>
Alright. Let's end this.

>As ponies fall around him, only to be risen yet again into a state of crazed lust, Tension signs with contentment.
>"This is the life."
>"SEXUAL TENSION!"
>The unicorn directs his gaze to one of the cavern's entrances, where the source of the voice reveals itself as a blue pegasus.
>"That's what they call me. And you are?"
>The unicorn steps forward, glaring up onto the mound where Tension stands.
>"I am Splendence."
>Tension cocks an eyebrow.
>"Sorry, I've corrupted a lot of ponies over the last week. Care to jog my memory?"
>Splendence pulls a picture from his saddlebag, tossing it forward and allowing Tension's magic to grasp it.
>"Oh, wait. I remember this one. That bookworm pegasus, really needed a blowjob, honestly. Are his balls still growing? Is that what you came here for? If so, don't worry, I put a fail safe on the spell so he won't drown anypony. His nuts should stop growing once they're each the size of his head."
>Splendence growls in his throat, rising into the air as Tension cocks his head, a new realization coming to him.
>"Wait, you're that little goodie horseshoes who sniffed out my stash in the water tower, aren't you? Oh, I've got just the thing for you."
>Tension's horn lights up, shooting a quick bolt of magic at Splendence's chest.
>The magic absorbs into him harmlessly, leaving no effect.
>Tension's face turns from smugness to anger.
>"Oh, that's real cute. Sorry, chump, but willpower won't save you!"
>>
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>>28075048
Holy tits. I can't believe I forgot Raine!
I got too damn focused on Zebra Cake and Bright Future and I forgot she was with them.
Damn, I'm sorry.
>>
>>28075113
well hey, shit happens. It's no big deal.
>>
>>28075095
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_vux8N4dy4

But more like SONO CHI NO SODOMYYYYYY
POOOOOOOOOOOOONE
>>
>>28075095
>Tension's horn sparks bright, drawing in a massive cloud of energy from every corner of the room.
>As the mist of lust begins to conglomerate around him, the ponies previously engaged in an orgy stand, turning toward the confrontation.
>"Let's see how well you handle THIS!"
>With a jerk, Tension lobs the ball of erotomancer magic straight at Splendence, engulfing him entirely.
>As the pegasus emerges, several of the ponies below begin cheering.
>Tension's eyes bulge and he grits his teeth, setting into a stance and ready to fight.
>"How? Nopony can resist my magic! Not even the Princesses could withstand it!"
>While he is distracted, two blurs rush up the hill, slamming into his shoulders and pinning him down.
>As Mass Motion and Fighting Might pin him down, Blue Bay rushes forward, pouring a small bottle on his horn which costs it completely.
>Tension shakes and convulses, growling in unrestrained rage.
>"YOU CANNOT DO THIS!"
>Splendence steps forward, placing a hand on Tension's chest and glaring down at him.
>"Why would you try to poison Equestria? You may be let free someday, but knowing why is your first step."
>Tension smirks, rolling his eyes before opening his mouth to speak.
>>
>>28075197
>"I was born in the northern villages of Equestria. Nopony had the slightest clue what fun was, especially not any sort of sexual fun. For years I stayed there, stewing in my own juices as I was forced to watch mares pass me by every day, knowing that I'd only ever get one of them, and only in the most boring of ways. So I decided to do something about it. I ran, I ran all the way to Manehattan and found myself a little underground club. When I entered, I saw dozens of ponies being led around on leashes with halters and bridles. Some were begging to cum, tied in ropes and locked in chastity. Others had succumbed and were dedicated to serving their owners. As I stepped across the threshold, my Cutie Mark appeared. A burst of magic filled the room, and in mere minutes, every mare and stallion in the building knelt before me, ogling my cock as if it were a treasure. To this day, they live to serve me. Since that day, I knew my destiny was to take Equestria for its own ride. I will see this world fall to lust yet, make no mistake."
>Splendence glares in disgust as Tension ends his tale, stepping off of him as Pocket Rocket approaches, holding out a makeshift rope to Fighting Might to restrain Tension.
>"How'd you get down here, anyway? I had to fall through a bog to get here."
>>
>>28075263
>Splendence glances back at Tension, shivering once before answering.
>"I've been tracking him for almost two weeks now. He visited my town twelve days ago and left it even worse off than you all were."
>Rocket blushes, brushing a hoof on the ground.
>"Yeah, thanks for that, by the way."
>"Not a problem, I assure you. Anyway, he came through and left our water supply tainted. By the time I determined what was wrong, it was too late. Windwatcher, a very dear friend of mine, had a certain spell placed on his-"
>Splendence glances to one side, allowing Rocket to fill in the blank.
>"I tracked him across most of the country, and I finally caught him in Canterlot. I had to trace the source of a tainted stream all the way to a mountain cavern on the side of Canterlot mountain, and then I was finally able to make it in here. Just in time, it seems."
>Rocket laughs, turning back to see Tension strung up, hanging in the middle of the room.
>"Yeah, glad you got here when you did. Otherwise, I don't know how long we would have been stuck down here."
>>
>>28075309
>The crowd steps over to the main exit as Mass Motion and Steel Driver smash piles of rocks over the secondary paths, closing off the cave.
>It takes only about ten minutes for them all to gather as the final exit is closed, leaving only the main entrance to shut off.
>The forty four ponies step into the tunnel, looking back on Tension with disgust.
>The blue unicorn glares at them all, still wrapped up in rope.
>"You think you can just leave me here, tied up, to survive on just my own sexual energy?! Well, jokes on you! THAT'S MY FE-"
>Steel Drive smashes the last support, allowing a ton of rock to fall over the final entrance to the cavern.
>The ponies all turn to one another, each glancing to their fellows and acknowledging their shared experience.
>Finally, Pocket Rocket breaks the silence with their shared thought.
>"Let's go home."

End Section 11.
Holy crap, you guys. It's over. Done. The biggest orgy story in /mlp/ history.
Let no man say that this board is dead.

Thank you all so much for reading and contributing. I hope to write for you again in the future.
For now, though, I am going to rest.
>>
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>>28075382
>Smokestack Spliff contemplates the load of cum in her womb, and the fact that hulking stallion right there is the one who did it.
...
>Eventually, Smoke stopped thinking.

You actually did it, Whack. Congratulations, and thanks for everything.

>that last line
Agreed. hahaha now you're sad
>>
Page 9 save.
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>>28076067
Page 8
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>>28075382
Goddamn. This green shall be screencapped immediately and saved so future nor/mlp/eople can witness the greatest writefag's unbelievable amazing lewd story.
It's been a wild ride, one I've been on from the very beginning. Hell, I'm the guy who first suggested shipping Crab Apple, simply because there was zero lewd of her character whatsoever at the time, and it has bloomed into so much more.
So many people have been honored to have their characters in your greens. Those who stuck with you to the end shall remember this day forever.

All hail WhackAnon, legendary greentext writer, and the greatest writefag I've ever known.
>>
>>28075095
>>28075197
One thing I AM curious about. Why didn't Tension's magic affect Splendance? Did he have some sort of cure? Did he just have that strong of willpower? Magical shield we couldn't see?
>>
>>28077144
That's what the other 43 want to know!!

and me
>>
>>28077144
>>28077285
I chose Splendence as a foil to Sexual Tension because of how annoyingly pure he was.
Tension's magic affects all but the incontinent, children, and those who are incorruptible, and Splendence falls under that last definition.
>>
>>28077316
And now I know. Thanks, WhackAnon!
And congrats on finishing your story. That took some serious dedication, but you ended up pleasing a lot of people.
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>>28077316
>incontinent
>>
>>28077316
So ST's power is pretty much a kinky Devilmite beam and Splendence was Goku, neato.
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>>28077612
>>
Wait what happened to Diamond and Horseshoe?
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>>28077417
My vocabulary isn't lining up today for some reason. I can't remember the term, but it refers to individuals who can't get sexually aroused.

>>28077612
Good reference, and yeah, that's pretty much it.

>>28077709
Found the next OP pic.

>>28077920
They were with the ponies that left. They had been corrupted, just like the rest.
>>
And a request.
I know this thread isn't exactly boiling over with drawfags, but I can't really start this thread's CYOA until I have one piece of art of its main character.

Are there any of you who'd be willing to take that up?
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>>28073769
Oh please don't
Am I too late?
Please don't do it
I need to start reading

I don't want to see a color scheme abomination
>>
>>28078896
I forgot I wasn't in /qst/, damn ID's
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>>28078896
No pregnant Aura? That's fine, I just wanted to see if it'd be cool.
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>>28078488
>no sexual arousal
asexual then? or did you mean impotent? (the spirit is willing but the meat is weak)

>>28078774
Pocket Rocket? I won't promise anything but I do have a four-day petsitting job starting this Sunday...
>>
>>28079462
Yeah, I suppose asexual by that definition is it.

And no, not Rocket. The character I'm referring to is Fighting Might.
Earth pony, orange mane, white coat, brown eyes, whole body usually in pressure wraps (for training purposes). Cutie Mark is a punching bag with bandages all over it. Tail is bound up with another wrap except for the tip.
>>
>>28079505
drawn ref available?
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>>28079532
Like I said, I don't have a single piece of art for him. My apologies. I could try and do something with Pony Creator, if that would help.
>>
>>28079583
ehhh it's okay just wanted to make sure there was no existing design I'd have to take into account
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>>28078488
>Found the next OP pic.
being the fag who doodled that, ya can't be serious pham
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>>28080087
Better than Zimbabwe.
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>>28080195
why live
>>
>The warmth of early evening sunlight bathes the ponies slowly emerging from the small rift, at the corner of which the main tunnel entrance lies under an avalanche of freshly broken rock.
>Weathervane, Moon Brook and Fireside take wing, soaring well above the trees.
>The mighty Mt Canterlot stands majestic as ever against the yellowing horizon; it's fairly obvious that the underground tunnels had led them right beneath the western hem of Foal Mountains.
>The herd is quiet and tired, slowly stepping down an old, faint hoofpath into the cool shadows of the mountainside forest.
>"Poppity."
>Pillow Talk and a few others nearby chuckle.
>"Sure, if we can get Princess Celestia to fund all that. Special force team, custom magic..."
>"--a sturdy pair of scissors", Mass Motion adds.
>"Pop!"
>"Yakyakistan? Sure, why not."
>>
Nein
>>
>>28082649
>Here and there in the file of well-fucked ponies, awkwardness starts to melt and short exchanges emerge: expressions of gratitude, apologies, agreements to forget, promises to remember, even tentative attempts at poking fun of the recent events.
>Bright Future stretches his wings and calls: "Who's up for drinks? 'Cause I sure am thirsty!"
>Approving horse noises.
>Blue Bay is reminded of something important and relays it to Baton. Immediately, she raises her navy-trained voice: "Halt!"
>The rest of the herd stops instinctively, sensing the worry of the two ponies. Concerned glances are exchanged.
>Hearing the commotion, Weathervane and Fireside swoop down from above the trees, fluttering above the tail end of the herd.
>"We don't know how long Sexual Tension's poison stays potent, or how many water sources he polluted. For all we know being absurdly meticulous might be a fetish of his as well. We shouldn't trust even the smallest spring until we've tested it. Stay safe. Drink rain water if you can, or distil."
>An uncomfortable silence falls as ponies consider the potential ramifications of Sexual Tension's work.
>"Yeah I'm not in any hurry to go back--"
>Dinky Twink tosses his neck to shake off the lingering wispy dregs of the magical teacher outfit: "--just to watch everyone else boinking like rabbits."
>>
>>28082658
You already have a circlejerking general for that autistic nazi OC. Go back there.
>>
>>28082649
Canterlot eh? Guess my Moon Brook finally has an excuse to have that friendly chat with Celestia.
>>
>>28078971
Would Mass Motion take responsibility, then?

Also, for what it's worth, Smokestack is some kind of executive foreman at the weather factory. That's her talent now.
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>>28077134
>tfw you were a samefagging faggot who got multiple of their characters into the green
>>
Headcanon: ST didn't need any potions to tamper the stream to his liking. Why bother when he could just spooge into the water
>>
>>28082662
>>
Page 9 save!

>>28082872
>>28078971
What I'm saying is that if Mass Motion wasn't gonna be a deadbeat you can make Smokestack pregnant.
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>>28084543
>Mass Motion
>deadbeat
Come on he delivered that 11-tonne water tank in a desert full of potholes, he's not the type of stallion to make the fade at becoming babydad.
>>
10
>>
So, now that Whack has finished his greens, is there some reason to stay in this thread?
I'm not sure what more can be done in here, other than "Hey look at my OC"
>>
>>28088660
Why of course we write fagfiction and draw fagart of le great green and meta Whack's CYOA here.
>>28082649
>>
10
>>
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Gimme OCs to draw!
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>>28091410
Hey based drawfriend, can you draw the unicorn in picrelated, tied up in rope and suspended in air, [/spoiler]dangling from the ceiling of a torch-lit cave if you're up for a background[/spoiler] and having a villainous breakdown with crazed grin/laughter as described:

>>28075382
>>The blue unicorn glares at them all, still wrapped up in rope.
>>"You think you can just leave me here, tied up, to survive on just my own sexual energy?! Well, jokes on you! THAT'S MY FE-"
>>
>>28091410
I like your hatching. A lot. Stabilo Fineliners?

tip: for extra polish, you can use the black thin marker to add taper to the ends of the thicker outlines
>>
>>28091473
He should also have an anti-magic, semi-liquid coating on his horn, something like liquid latex or whatever you fancy.
>>
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>>28091410
Friend's horse they haven't decided on a buttpic yet
>>
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>>28091473
Hope you like it. Sorry for upside down text.

>>28091502
I use Staedtler Triplus Fineliners. They practically never dry out and give me consistent lines all the time. Elaborate on what you were saying as the tip?>>28091593
I'll work on this now
>>
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>>28091681
White for the eyes
>>
>>28091681
>>28091702
damn that's fast! and looking nice too!
>>
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>>28086485
I'm making an offer either way.

>>28091410
DRAW A SMOKE

THANKS TO DRAWFAG WHO MADE THIS
>>
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>>28091593
Here you go, hope you like!

>>28091744
Thanks, sorry about rotation. Phone a shit.

>>28091855
What
>>
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>>28091907
Draw her in other words, please and thank you.

Thanks to PoniesRQts for this one.
>>
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post oc for me to dudle
>>
>>28091907
A cute, thanks!
>>
>>28092233
fuck off undercunts, we're not a shitposting thread

you can find a "hey guys /mlp/ got btfo!!! t. not /hsg/" thread if you want to fag something up
>>
>>28092281
Chill out Froggerfag, the guy's offering arts.
>>
>>28092299
>t. not >>28092233
>>
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>>28092281
it's just a game, my dude.
>>
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>>28092306
Ding ding ding, you got the right answer! You win another (You)!
>>
>>28092203
Looks a lot like Applejack. Sure I'll go for it.
>>
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tell me how ugly he is so i can finally end it all
>>
>>28092702
Man I keep getting that, I gotta get back to work on my mane revamp.

Thanks though, looking forward to it!

>>28092745
Post NSFW link
>>
>>28092758
you forgot to say please
>>
>>28092776
Post your horse pussy on full display or I'll turn derail this shit right here right now with one hell of a comic dump.

You know the one.


:^)__nobody call my bluff__
>>
>>28092896
>pussy on display
https://i.imgur.com/X198psH.png

You've been misled, it's a dude :^)
>>
>>28092745
he's not ugly, with a bit of color scheme refining he could be a good design and I have a boner for qt lil poutyfaces anyways but that drawing is pretty, how you say... shite
>>
>>28092962
All the good cute artists are too expensive, anon
>>
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>>28093022
I guess the selection is narrower when you need lewds.
>>
>>28093109
I didn't actually plan on getting lewds, just that I learned he did lewds after him starting the sketch
Th-htanks I guess, tho
>>
>>28092924
GODDAMN TRAPS. Good horse still
>>
>>28093190
>Implying you wouldn't a trap pony
>>
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Ok

>His name is Solar Falcon
>His coat is a clear, light yellow
>His mane is twilight orange
>His cutiemark is a red neutron moving so fast it almost looks like a shooting star
>He is the most OP thing in the universe
Pic...kinda related
>>
>>28092203
wow you sure like to whore out your oc for free art.
>>
>>28093213
Not right now.

>>28093502
>he doesn't jump on every artist to get art when they take requests
haha fuckin pleb
>>
>>28093190
To be fair, my first post said he, you should be more attentive.

But yeah thanks lad
>>
>>28092203
Hope you like.

Any more OCs?
>>
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>>28092203
>>
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>>28093727
It's not the best of references, but I would appreciate it if you drew this grump.
>>
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>>28093727

This:
>>28077709

It's the pony on the right here:
>>28091473

Picrelated is his ass stamp.

Bonus: Super Saiyan Alicorn Princess, because saving Equestria from a potentially nation-wide disaster is like so princess material you guys. He had to harden his pampered lil tail for that shit you guys.
>>
>>28093743
Holy shit what a qt thanks. Hair's a little short but it's okay. I'm guessing you went off >>28092203 mostly? Thanks again either way I'm just happy to get art!
>>
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>>28091410
I'm late for one?
>>
>>28093778
Pony
>>
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>>28093778
Grey and grey horse
>>
>>28092233
Since no one replied with OC, do this one >>28077709
>>
>>28094437
Alrighty, I'm done for tonight. I may come back to do more hey who knows maybe I'll resident. Good night everyone, hope you liked the drawings.
>>
>>28094471
Didn't mean to post as response to (>>28094437)
>>
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>>28094424
Fucking perfect
Thank you, drawfriend
>>
Boop
>>
>>28095279
>not reading the thread
get a load of this casual
>>
>>28095293
its k anon I read after posting.
now I'm the scrub
>>
>>28093109
The fuck did you do to that picture?
>>
>>28095730
Pardon me ma'am?
>>
>>28096553
It's all gross and shit, some lines are the same, everything looks faggier.
>>
>>28096609
could you whiteknight your own shitty draw any more obviously

>inb4 "muh stuhl"
>>
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>>28095730
It's a fucking redline.
>>
Holy hot damn, I'm back after a shitty weekend.
I see drawfriends have arrived. Can I charm any of you into doing >>28079505?
>>
>>28086485
This Anon is correct.
If you want Smokestack to be the mom of the thread, I can arrange that.
Literally the second I get any inflow of art of Fighting Might, I'm gonna start the CYOA and link it right back to this thread. People were asking what the hell we do here now, but we can still post 'em, rate 'em, and discuss the turns the thread's CYOA will be taking.
Still need a name for it, though.
>>
>>28097530
Well that's just dandy. MassStack official power couple of BRAWLER QUEST. Or WRESTLE QUEST. Or HOOF-TO-HOOF. Or GOD HOOF. Or HOOF OF THE RED CORNER, or whatever he prefers. Or just good ol' HOMOEROTIC COMBAT QUEST. :^))))))

So is Smoke or Aces High gonna be Fighting Might's manager?
>>
>>28097543
Well, Smoke will be Might's manager for the first little while. Might won't be staying in the fight club circle for long, though.
>>
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>>28097553
>>
>>28097553
inb4 the OCs get cameos depending on where the CYOA goes
>>
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>>28098055
I was gonna do that anyway.
At least for most of them. It does depend on where the CYOA goes, though.
>>
>>28098108
Even Super Saiyan Princess of Cockblocking?
>>
>>28098149
Help me out here.
Who are you talking about?
>>
>>28098149
Splendence. He practically saved Equestria from a crisis that probably had all princesses, the royal forces, and even questionable allies such as Discord incapacitated.

If that's not princess-worthy then Cadance is goddamn illegit.

And ya know,
>>28077612
Super Saiyan, or something.
>>
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>>28098476
Oh, okay.
I'm not really sure. It's possible he'll be playing a bit of a role in one portion of the story. I'll be winging this quite a bit, so I can't say for sure yet.
>>
>>28098519
I missed the bit where you pitched your CYOA plan but afaik it's something about fighting. In that case it's pretty unlikely Princess of Cockblocking would show up unless his very special friend ends up involved.
>>
>>28098642
Well, it's primary protagonist is a fighter by trade, but it isn't based completely around fighting.
Even so, there's only one place that I could put Splendence, and I don't know if that's the turn the story will take.
>>
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I heard some interesting things happened since last time I was here. What's up?
>>
>>28099823
Just the epicmost smut in any fandom this side of Riviera.
>>
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I have a work-in-progress OC and an entire AU along with him, but there's still a lot of thing to sort through and it's going to take forever and then some, so here's a crappy unfinished sketch.
>>
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>>
>>28098519
Whack hey do you have any preliminary fledgeling plans for any other OCs in your magnum opus?
>>
>>28101870
None that come directly to mind. It's a blank slate right now.
Why, do you?
>>
>>28101919
Not really but I'm thinking of a bunch that left an impression and I'd like to see them written again. Also, Corn and Pepperjack need to be cheerleaders. Because reasons.
>>
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3 years ago I created him.
Finally updated reference
>>
>>28102598
Venom Snake/10, needs more WHOOOO
>>
>>28102598

Literally just snake, kill yourself.
>>
>>28102598
thesauritis, chromatic rectocephaly, chronic edgemia/10
>>
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>>28102200
Okay.
That shouldn't be too much of a problem.
>>
>>28098519
Someone needs to redraw this with Smokestack in the cart or on Mass Motion's back, if the size difference allows it
>>
>>28099823
also ey candel
>>
>>28103481
That's me!
>>
where are you, capfriend
>>
>>28103924
Which capfriend? Me or the other guy?
>>
>>28093458
>you'll never have a name as radical as Solar Falcon
>>
>>28103924
Soothe thy breast, I've been having a bit of life on the side. Caps later today.
>>
>>28104619
>implying
Pixy Un
Mobius Ein
Royal Flush
Loaded Dice
Clarion Call
Blessed Wind
Holy Mountain
Castlevania Shut up it CAN work, somehow, probably not tbdesu

That's all I got so bump
>>
>>28104915
Caps may sill be delayed, I'll need to get my tablet working and fetch my keyad because the oone n ths laptop sucks haemorrhoids (as you can surey see).

Petsitting, ie o friend's laptop. Also trippin' on allergy meds nd only slept 2 hrs ths night so donn't hold your breath.
>>
note to self: remember to gather mini bio list + refs for all 40+
>>
>>28105693
>petsitting

Are you >>28079462 ?
>>
>>28106989
I'm -hopped on caffeine and hydrozyxine that's fo sure Whakiboi
>>
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>>28107018
No rush.
Just seeing if you were still planning on doing any art of Fighting Might.
>>
>>28107072
give me a prompt beyond 2this character2 and you'll improve your chances in multipls

fuck yhis keypad is shit, I'd clean the shit out of it but t's nt mine and i'm not beng paid

i'm taking the dogs and go fetch something to eat and a proper keypad

lawd
>>
>>28107177
Alright.
I can't find any art of Nova Strike, maybe his owner's around here somewhere.
Anyway, draw them duking it out, but in a not-so-serious fashion, like a sparring match.
>>
>>28107197
seeing how this includes both Nova Strike and Blue Bay, I'd suppose one of these is our Nova

https://derpibooru.org/1085847
>>
>>28107230
I suppose so. It's supposed to be top left, I think.
>>
Bump for hope.
>>
bampu for pizza
>>
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What is it that makes booping a pone so satisfying?

Is it the feeling of gentle resistance a sniffer-sniffer provides as force is applied to it?
Or the ensuing scrunch of a hapless pone's snootle?
Perhaps the delightfully evil feeling of committing such an inappropriate act in public?

All these, and more, are questions one might ask themselves as the thread returns to page 1 again, and the stage is set for even more booping.

boop
>>
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>>28107197
PRESENT
I have very limited art of Mr. Strike, but I'll post what I have

>>28107230
Oh man I remember that
Good times...
>>
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>>28109486
>>
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>>28109495
>Store Front Captcha three times in a row
>>
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>>28109507
Had to dig through her DA but I found some more
>>
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>>28109629
>>
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>>28109637
>>
>>28109486
thanks anon, these are helpful
>>
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Behold my colorful cardgame abomination
>>
>>28103248
I'd offer dinky for cheerleading squad for obvious reasons, but he's way too keen on the whole sexy teacher/office lady/librarian outfit thing to have time for such trifling matters.
>>
page 10 bump
>>
Goodnight thread
Don't die on me while I sleep
>>
>>28112536
What this guy said.
>>
>>28112536
>>28113221
>>
>>28113697
10
>>
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>>28107177
>>
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>>
this shitbox is running Windows 10 nd has no clue what to do with a tablet

have win 8 at home and sy what yu will but at least i can plug the platter n and use it as a fance mouse within seconds

hnngghgrh driiver time
>>
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>>28117156
Yeah.
What he said.
>>
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>>28117156
That's fine. Not a rush, we have this thread and plenty of discussion to go around, so no pressure.

>>28117352
Dammit, I kekked.
>>
>>28097543
>manager
No. Dinky
>>
>>28107072
whakiboy where is ref for fighting mght

also if you dont have one go doodle a shit
idgaf how shit it is jst make a doodle un s paint or something if you don't want me to pull some gay shit out of my gay ass for hs design
>>
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>>28117630
Just take it and don't hurt me.
Like I said, Cutie Mark is a beat-up punching bag.
He's also usually wearing skin-tight wraps around his whole body from neck to tail and down all four legs, but that's optional.
>>
>>28117731
ok is it a friendly match? rough? no holds barred? undergroud betting match? legal martial arts match?
>>
>>28117919
Just friendly sparring. Nothing on the line, just duking it out for giggles.
>>
>>28117731
It's become evident that the shitpile's display doesn't know luminosity from a rat's ass, but I'll try to get a monochrome sketch started tomorrow. Given that the cats won't volunteer me for kitty pillow again.
>>
Excited bump
>>
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8.
>>
>>28119797
That was an excelent use of that gif.
Makes a decent point too.
>>
>>28119894
Thanks. I forgot my nametag while using it, though, so it also made me look like a dumbass.
Even so, I think now I might start doing rates of my own tomorrow morning. That should fix the slow thread problem for a while.
>>
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SHOW ME YOUR MOVES
Oh yes, I'm still good at this
>>
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>>28120058
Show off. Though, that's pretty good.

Wanna do Tension?
>>
>>28120164
Do what you want senpai, just don't kill Radiant unless you REALLY have to

btw, do you have a pastebin? I need to start reading from where I took off
>>
>>28120234
No pastebin, apologies. Though I know our capAnon has an imgur album with all my greens.
And I promise, no killing Radiant. I don't know where the hell you even got that in your head.
>>
>>28118770
Flaccid bump
>>
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>>28120852
Get hyped faggot
>>
>>28121006
No
>>
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Bump with Bright Future.
>>
>>28122389
Wait I can get you your Fighting Might art real quick.

GET THOSE NOTES READY, BRAWLAN QUEST(or whatever) IS COMING SOON, r-right?
>>
>>28122444
I trust your trips.
If you can get me art today, I should be able to start the quest tonight.
>>
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>>28122444
Bump for hope.
I believe in you, Smoke.
>>
>>28122477
I trust your dubs senpai
But we can't let the thread die before then
>>
Bump.
Can't be long now.
>>
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donut die
>>
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>>28117731
finally managed to figure my way around getting out with only the dog I know can handle 3 mins outside the shop

i.e. I have caffeine again

i.e. I'm not snoozing all around the Place like a goddamn opium fiend

so here's a little for you Whakiboy
>>
>>28124718
*a little WIP

'm better but not at my shrpest in any case

hydrozyxiine is one helluva drug
>>
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>>28124718
Glorious. I look forward immensely to seeing the finished product, but with this, I can get started at least.
I have a few more things to arrange, some last touches to make, and some research to do. If all goes well, we should have a running CYOA in 6 1/2 hours. I'll link to this thread once it's up.
>>
>>28124759
Normally I'm not one for a CYOA, but I'm actually fairly interested in this one.
>>
care to explain to us newfags how pone cyoas work round here?
>>
>>28125512
This is my first one, but I've been looking around and studying it for a while.
It's the same as most other CYOAs, I imagine.
Our main character is Fighting Might, an Earth Pony who's talent is (surprise) fighting. He's kind of dense, but hey, you can only draw so many cards.
Anyway, whichever among you decides to play the quest will choose what he does, which will guide his actions. I'll take a few basic liberties with the early phases, but all in all, you choose what happens, better digits take priority on choices.

Like I said, never done this before, so I'm going to be winging it.
>>
>>28125676
I imagine you won't allow dicketry? For example, an anon intentionally making Might do something way out of character for him?
>>
>>28125747
Considering I've already shown who Might is and what he's like, no.
I mean, it isn't like there's a whole lot that's really OOC for him without just deliberately being an asshole, so hopefully I won't have to deal with that.
>>
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I updated Aces High's design for PonyTown

>Tfw no leather jacket cosmetic and have to settle with a bowtie
>>
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>>28125935
Previous Design
>>
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>>28125935
>red Johnny Bravo mane
I like it.
Here, have a Changeling Gladiator, one of my OCs.
>>
>>28122477
>>28122757
>artist isn't replying
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeIDAsIaoUk
>>
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We are up and running with MightQuest!

>>28127610
Go here to play!
>>
>>28127624
Bump for this.
>>
R8s when
>>
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>>28125935
>>28125946
>>
>>28129735
She's not a slut, she's just Misunderstood

And she also really likes sucking dick
>>
>>28129801
Draw Four disagrees.
>>
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Here's my magic horse.

I changed her CM to be a star inside of a circle, so ignore the slightly out-of-date mark.
>>
So how many of you are playing MightQuest?
>>
>>28130500
I'll join later. Right now I gotta pack my shit, get the dogs out for a bit, and get my ass to the airport. After that it's no more cats, no more Atarax, aalll he drawing/painting/pixeling.

Also no more over-anxious under-schooled Cocker, just my precious calm wise gentle fuzzy wuzzy miss Niaragua wonder-Poodle.
>>
Hi, first time in the OC thread, but I was hoping to get an opinion on character design. If I was going to make a changeling OC, how much do you think it would be okay for me to change the basic design? I know they're all supposed to be basically the same looking, but I'd at least like to be able to recognize him as different from all the other drones. Maybe just a different head frill shape? A different back plate color? What do you think?
>>
>>28131421
They're a bug race. Basically, he has to have a specific purpose in the hive. Find that purpose, then deviate enough from the normal pattern to where the changes are effective for him. The differences are meant for efficiency.
>>
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bumping
>>
>>28130500
Uh this just crossed my mind... I may not be able to join the cyoa on account of Whack's activity period being wee hours for me. Really wee.
>>
>>28133637
Well, I'm operating the CYOA from 10AM to 8PM, and my clock is CST. Don't know yours, but that's the reference for you.
>>
>>28133886
My zone's 8 hrs ahead of yours.
>>
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>>28134105
Huh.
I mean, that leaves you a few hours, depending on what time you get up.
Damn, wish I could be a bit more prudent with my time, but that's the best I can handle.
>>
>>28130500
I'm in.
>>28131421
Typical subspecies for changelings I've seen are soldiers, nannies, and maintenance. The soldiers are generally bulkier with a few additional spines, nannies are slender and more pony-like with fewer holes, and the maintenance look about the same as default but are smaller and have slight modifications to various bodyparts to effectively do their jobs, for example a digger would have somewhat shovelly hooves.

Mostly though, it comes down to your imagination.
>>
WAKE UP
MAKE UP
WAKE UP
MAKE UP
URRRRRRAGH!
>>
I already mentioned it on the CYOA thread, but I'm gonna say it here too.
I need help to run this thing.
Not trying to be a jackass or anything, but I've never done this before, so I'm pulling everything that happens out of thin air. If I'm fucking up, I need someone to let me know exactly how I'm fucking up so I can not do that in the future.
>>
>tfw you have the perfect colorscheme you want but can't think up of a mane style.
Literally the only thing stumping me and I can't think through it really. Too bad it's probably one of the most important parts.

This is a base I poorly recolored when trying out the colors to see if they looked okay. It's a stallion, and I'm thinking of making the mane short and poofy like a 'lion mane' as a friend described it. I still haven't thought up of the specifics though and I'd like some help nailing this shit down. I kinda like the colors I got going and I don't want him with a generic haircut.

I was thinking of making it so that his mane covers part of his eyes since that is one of my favorite looks, though I dunno if it'd fit.

I already know what his tail will look like. Cut really short and messy, kinda like Babseed's.
>>
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Rate me! :D "Existential Panache"
>>
>>28135484
Kill yourself.
>>
>>28136759
try harder newfag
>>
Bumpu
>>
Back now, ready to give MightQuest another try.
I'm here for 10 hours. Go play.
>>
10
>>
>>28068394
Does anyone have a copy of the pony coming out of an ink jar?
>>
>>28139570
I have a pony coming out of an absinthe glass.
>>
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pls h8, r8, burnin8 so I can stop reposting this
>>
>>28139184
>>
>>28140506
Dat.
>>
>>28140506
eh
>>
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>>28137813
B-but...!
>>
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>>
save
>>
RIP OC thread
>>
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Post something, idiots.
>>
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Post yur oh sees
>>
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>>
ass to cactus
>>
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posting my OC from first thread.

i draw, so i do draw out a lot of pics of my OC.

could post a description, but i think it would be fairly redundant.
>>
I already posted all of my relevant OCs
All my other ones are cringe-inducing as shit from my earliest days in the fandom
>>
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>>28068705
Lyra/10

>>28069633
Butt fun/10

>>28069997
Why exactly does this exist? I need more information.

>>28070090
He's a big pony.

>>28070372
7/10 with a possibility for more with a story.

>>28071484
Looks like Mass Motion's angry little brother.

>>28072882
Don't think I've ever seen a pony hold a paintbrush that lewdly.

>>28091410
Contrast/10

>>28091593
I'm getting Button's Mom vibes from this.

>>28091855
PRETTY PONY

>>28092745
>he
See pic.

>>28093458
>He is the most OP thing in the universe
Bitch, have you seen how sturdy Mass Motion is?

>>28093778
Marble Pie/10

>>28094339
See pic related again.

>>28102598
4000% SNAAAAKE

>>28110404
The only card game I enjoy besides 5-card stud/10

>>28120058
SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS

>>28122389
Ash Williams/10

>>28125946
I feel like rewatching either Grease or the Gambler.

>>28126059
That's kinda cool looking, actually. 8/10, needs explanation.

>>28129869
I have strong urges to do lewd things to this horse.

>>28132641
Borderline Fluffy/10

>>28136759
No rate for you.

>>28140506
You know, if you reversed the color scheme between the mane and tail, you have a shot.

>>28144990
I remember you. Still an 8.5/10

>>28150922
Goatee?
7/10 for lack of story.

>>28152598
Train conductor, maybe?
>>
>>28153286
my pixels?

>>28070811
>>28151769
>>
>>28153864
My bad.

>>28151769
I get a Gen 1 vibe here. 8/10, since I don't expect a story for these. How many do you have, anyway?

>>28070811
Dinky Twink?
No?
Citrus/10
>>
>>28153995
>how many
T҉̬̠̞̫̯̀h̵̭́a̸̖̰͖̗̺͔̪͞t̝̬͟͞ ̫̞̗̤̭͕͖̬i̥̯̮̗̜̬͟ͅs͏̻̻̫̼͡ ̵͏̻̯̙͖n͕͍̬̼͈̺͜ͅo̟̣̱̫t͍̩̯̘̖́̀ ̷̰̩̦̭͜͟f̱̖͉̳͖͘͝o͔̜̳̙̩̻ͅr̢̪̻̬ ̳̬̱̞̺̥͉͚̕͞m̵҉̝͚̪͍̞͖̹ͅa͉̞͝n̶̙̱͖͙̜̤͔͝ ̧͙̝̹̰͕͈̖̯̻͘t̪̰o̲͖͙͔̭͝ ̧̖͖̣̰̺̺̦̜ķ̸̩͕̱̦͓͎̲̫͜n͏͔͚̼̺o͏̸͎̠̣w̷͈͍̹͉͕ͅ.̼̭͕̪
>>
>>28152598
>>28153286
on-board aircraft engineer/ onboard flight mechanic for a western countries' air force.

pone came from a place not unlike what germany would be, but not really- just a country that was torn by common civil war, he was a nationalist airboat tech for something called the NPAD, the hat's part of his uniform.

really steampunky- i think there was a game at one point that was airship warfare, it's like that...

AH! here's my description

This unicorn was born in a far away land, where war was as common as Sunday Night Hoofball in Equestira, popular to the point of people betting on who would win the battles happening on a weekly basis, soon the factions had realized that they couldn't keep this up for forever, and when no-pony had their hearts left in war... when all large-scale battles and conflicts resolved- war was outlawed. And this is where we meet Rusty, Rusty was an on-board engine mechanic for the Non Pegasus Air Division (NPAD) where they would fly outlandish war machines and take out strategic areas (via bombing). When he was out of a job he became an immigrant to Equestria; and generic wise-ass. he opened up a shop in the middle of nowhere and seemed to still be able to cause harm to other ponies... 500 miles away; his most memorable feats include; pissing off more Eastern Ponies than Neighgasake, creating 37 different controlled substances (17 of which are used in date-rape scenarios to this day); drinking 4 litres of crude oil and lighting his puke on fire; being passed around like the common cold; and firing off a small scale missile that blew up 1/8th of Appleusa's golden delicious crop... oh the humanity. and now here he is, sitting probably in a tavern somewhere, Shortly after having to pay for 6,745 apples that smelled like ash, tasted like ash, and looked... like ash; forcing him to sell his workshop, and all his swanky brass inventions.
>>
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>>28153286
>PRETTY PONY

Mein neger
>>
10
>>
CYOA is getting frisky.
Whack's bringing back his real skills to the table.
>>
>>28156021
Damn fucking straight
I don't follow the CYOAs, but I doubt any of them will be as wonderfully lewd as this one.
>>
doing characatures of your OC if you want.
>>
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>>28156557
pic related
>>
>>28156112
Cold Blooded Twilight did a CYOA here, so you are almost as wrong as the guy who said Derpy will never appear again. ALMOST.

>>28156557
Hit me nigga
>>28155029
>>28091855
>>28093743
>>
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>>28156899
>cold blooded twilight

Now imagine him and Whack collabing, with CBT on art and Whack on green.
>>
>>28154627
I haven't counted lately but dozens in any case.
>>
save
>>
>>28153995
>>28154627
>>28158716
My tallies are not perfectly up to date but 140 and 150 in any case. A lot of them have a bit of story, some more, some less.
>>
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>>28159346
Dance Stance is an exotic dancer working under the name Arabesque; her choice of career drove her good family/royal guard parents to drink.
>>
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>>28160022
Bright Horizon is a practical yet optimistic stallion living down in Horseshoe Bay, working in his parent's cafe in winter and selling ice cream at the beach in the summer. He's a big flirt but likes to keep it subtle.
>>
>>28068394
>>
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this is my oc his name is shitstorm
>>
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evil
>>
>>28161934
>>28161948
odd
>>
>>28161948
WHATS GOOD NYIGGUH
>>
>>28161934
>>28161948
I think he would look better if he was an Earth pony instead.
>>
Bump, because we just kicked a dragon's ass.
>>
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Heres an OC of mine. His name is Word Problems.
>>
>>28166748
>not Word Crimes
It's shit
>>
>>28166753
But Weird Al pony already exists.
>>
>>28166765
References can still be allowed, his parents are just huge fans :^)
>>
>>28166807
That's genius.
>>
>>28166858
shut up baby i know it
>>
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>>28166909
>>
save
>>
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>>28161092
Silver Glint is a taciturn and reserved father of one, loving husband. His own parents and siblings live far away although they write letters every month.
>>
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>>28168375
Alyssa Rosegold is a peppy little wedding/party organiser and mother to twins Satin Stitch and Peach Filigree.
>>
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>>28068394
This is Drill Bit. Sometimes I wish the kindly drawfag and colorfag who finished up the pictures had given her a different cutiemark, but it was a very up in the air design at the time.
>>
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This is Shifting Gear, my OC.
>>
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>>28169255
>Zephyr Beat is the drummer in an experimental band. He does odd jobs to keep the hay in his burger. He puts on a cocky show when the band is playing. However his self esteem is constantly teetering between doormat codependency and self-sufficient confidence. Whatever his mood, he's always down to help his friends and their friends too.
>>
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What the hell happened to the quest?
What the hell happened to Whack?
>>
>>28153286
>Button's Mom vibes
What a coincidence, the OC is a fairly promiscuous mare.
>still and 8.5/10
noice
>>
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>>28170996
Candice is a roller-blading waitress in a fifties-themed restaurant. She's fairly acrobatic and gets a lot of tips for showing off her tricks. At home she prefers to listen to records and keep her chili bonsais in perfect care.
>>
Jeez, can't a guy sleep off a little surgery around here without everything screwing up?
I'll return tomorrow and reboot the Quest.
We were entering a new section anyway.
>>
>>28173527
>reboot
You mean make a new thread or reset?

yo Vivi
>>
>>28173582
Make a new thread.
I'm not starting over, we had a good thing going.
Also, did you ever get a response from the artist you had drawing Fighting Might?
>>
>>28173637
Soon
>>
>>28173637
I hope this time you're saving your text somewhere. I ain't got the time to cap a cyoa. You said you can't bear to see your stuff once you've done with it, well I have the same thing and here's what I recommend: open a .txt editor, dump all there and here's the trick:
1: insert a lot of empty lines at the top and the bottom of the file-- enough to push the text out of view when you browse pgup or pgdwn-- you'll be able to insert new text blindfolded if that's what you need (I do sometimes)
2: name and file the .txt properly--clear enough that you could talk a stranger through finding it on your computer--never accidentally read old stuff again, never need to resort to view content just to id a .txt
>>
>>28172384
Candy plot best plot.
>>
>>28174625
Good Lord, I don't hate it that much.
I do appreciate the advice, though. I'll probably end up putting it in a .txt, or maybe I'll start a Pastebin for once.
Anyways, that'll be here in a few hours.
>>
>>28156112
https://www.anonpone.com/delivery/
Hello! I'm the QM of the Night Delivery and I frankly disagree with this statement as Night Delivery generally has 2-3 lewd scenes per thread and an overall emphasis on lewd for story development and character interaction.
>>
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>>28156112
>>28156112
>I don't know anything about these but they aren't as good as this
Oh you poor soul
>>
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>one comment about a lewd scene
>cue the QMs

Guys, I'm not trying to compete here. I've read through most of the running CYOAs, and pretty much all of you are really good.
Don't lose it over one thing.
>>
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>>28172384
Cardamom Chai is a boutique-style coffee shop entrepreneur who hides his sharp tongue behind a veil of impeccable manners. He manages the hot drinks alone, as for sweets he has arrangements with local patisseries. He's trusted with many a secret and sometimes relays messages for the idler high society gentlemares of Golden Gate, especially when somepony needs "work done".
>>
>>28135815
So since you asked for advice, I'll give you some, along with a more general critique. One thing to keep in mind is that I don't participate in these threads, so anything pertaining directly to them I won't get. Which brings me to my first point.

>Official CYOA of the OC Thread.
Immediate turn off. It basically tells you that the CYOA is a circlejerk of references you won't get unless you participate in this thread. Which it is, but without being told that readers won't be looking for it. You might as well run it in this thread, you'll get about the same amount of readers.

The story itself reads like a 15 year old's self-insert naruto fanfic. Which makes it funny that anime got brought up. But with better spelling and grammar, so kudos on that. This is mainly due to the main character being a Mary Sue, but extends to most of the characters having no characterization beyond their physical states. Might is strong. Smokestack is pregnant. Celestia exists. There's more text dedicated to how strong Might is and how he holds himself back than there is to him actually reacting to things.

Almost every character reacting to him in either an overtly adoring manner or disliking him (and being immediately dislikable themselves), casually beating down everything with the greatest of ease, and being the only pony that can properly fuck the princess in a long time certainly adds to the Mary Sue status. Even the fights, which I'd expect him to love, make him seem bland and emotionless since the focus of the writing being on the mechanical instead of how he feels during it. The times where emotion was described actually caught me by surprise.
>>
>>28178420
The non-characters in the story might simply be because you're so familiar with the characters back here in your own thread where they've been long fleshed out and might have other stories already written for them. But, again, then you might as well just run it in your own thread because it makes it a bad story for new readers.

The porn was... ok I guess. It was every generic Anon/Celestia green where Celestia is a centuries long celibate cum-addicted slut as soon as a dick pops out. Just with Anon replaced this time. I like that kind of thing when there's actual build up to it instead of it just happening out of the blue.

The actual plot so far is fine.

The spelling and grammar is fine for the most part. There's a few parts where things are phrased oddly ("rushing forward with a passion.") but nothing too immersion breaking.

My advice would be to focus more on the characterization of your characters instead of just describing everything physically/mechanically, forge and build relationships, make the MC more than just a generic anime cool guy, actually introduce new characters instead of just noting their existence, and obsess about his strength a little bit less. That's been drilled in well enough.

Also to note: Saying you might as well run it here isn't some kind of insult, most generals have run a CYOA or two in their thread, there are benefits and drawbacks to doing so. It's generally better when a CYOA is geared towards a particular audience to just run it in that thread.
>>
>>28178420
>>28178434
All valid points, and all well made.
I appreciate it.
I understand he's a bit of a Mary Sue so far, and that is due in part to the physical style of writing, which isn't representative of how I planned on doing the entire thing, I simply wanted to showcase the full range of his capabilities so the players knew their limitations before trying to bring any major emotional aspects into the fights. Combining new abilities with emotional triggers turns from Naruto to DBZ real damn quick, and I don't want that either.

I readily admit, the porn was substandard. I can never fap to any of my own lewd green, don't know why, but yeah, it was generic even for my tastes.

You caught it at about the most Mary Sue it's ever gonna get, and consequentially the worst it'll ever be. If you so choose, come back a little later and see what you think.
Thanks, though. I think I will start running it out of this thread
>>
>>28178672
I have a writing tip for you a bit later.
>>
>>28178672
Okay, let's get this show back in business.

>You trail the two swaying rumps as they lead you back to the cave at the mountaintop.
>You can't help the grin plastered onto your face, watching as the tails of both females wave side to side with each step, each one almost giving you a peep show.
>Your hooves jitter on the rocks a bit, forcing you to take a calming breath.
>You haven't been this excited since-
"Hold up."
>The two rulers stop, turning around and giving you a curious look.
>"Something wrong?"
>You let out an angry sigh, frustrated at the idea running through your head.
"Princess, you remember the incident with Tension. I'm getting that same vibe from this."
>Celestia's expression changes radically, her eyes widening at the mention of the name.
"I'm not positive or anything, but I've never been this-"
>You check yourself, still a bit uncomfortable talking about your downstairs situation with a Princess.
>Luckily, Ember bursts in with the obvious question.
>"Tension? What are you two on about?"
>Celestia turns to answer her, but in the interest of time, you start first.
"Short version, he's a unicorn who makes people have sex. Lots and lots of sex."
>Ember raises an eyebrow, clearly trying to restrain a smile.
>"And that's a problem...how exactly? I'm assuming he's been dealt with, since you're here instead of wherever he is."
>You trace a hoof along the ground, trying to think as fast as you're speaking.
"He was. His magic, though, it gets into everything. Big trouble. Look, do you have any water sources around here?"
>Ember laughs, shaking her head.
>"Dragons don't drink water."
>She taps a finger on her throat, letting out a little puff of flame to signify the reason behind this anomaly.
>Your head whirs for a moment, trying to think of a way to explain Tension's magic being present without a way to transmit it, but without a water source, there's no way.
>You blush, grinning sheepishly at Celestia, who still looks worried.
"False alarm?"
>>
>>28179592
>She takes a deep breath, seating herself on a rock.
>"You two feel free to continue without me. I'm not feeling well."
>You close your eyes, berating yourself for even bringing up Tension at a time like this.
>You should have known it would bother her, considering her history with the mad stallion.
>You can't help but feel a little twinge in your chest as you watch her push her mane back, breathing heavily as she stares down at the ground.
>You could try and take her mind off the memories, maybe you'd be able to get her back in the mood.
>Or you could let her try and cope her own way and continue with Ember.
>Alternatively, you could stick around and put Ember's little 'appointment' on a back burner for the moment.
>>
>>28178672
You don't really need to bring major emotional aspects into fights for the fights to have emotions. For example, the first fight had him go from 'hyped' to sighing and bored in five lines or so. Before, during, or after he could have lamented there being no challenge or no fun in it anymore, giving him characterization and motivation to do this dragon thing. Instead it passes by and he remains blank. Then in the final fight of the mini-tournament, he's finally getting hit and damaged he could have a fleeting excitement that ends too soon. Instead it passes by and he remains blank. You don't need major emotional triggers and yelling to give a reaction to things.

You have all the mechanics of a particular trope in place for your story and for your MC's personality, and it certainly looks like that's what you're trying to go for, you're just not adding the last piece for some reason and opting instead to just not have a personality. And as I said, this is just as much a problem outside the fights where everything just happens with very little reaction from any of the characters.

Though that's neither here nor there if you're going to start doing more characterization going forward now that the fighting mechanics are out of the way. I'll check back some time later to see if it's better.
>>
>>28179711
I think I understand what you're referring to, and I plan on working a bit on the actual in-character-ness of the characters.
It has a little bit to do with their lack of establishment as OCs, I think, but I get it, and I can improve that.
>>
http://pastebin.com/mBJ8Nwd1
I had a friend comment that the lewds we got between Celestia and Mighty didn't feel quite respectful enough towards the power level of both parties, and requested I remedy this.

Judge me not for my sins, I beg of you.
>>
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>>28180782
>them adjectives
Fucking perfect.
>>
Saved
>>
>>28180782
Well done.
>>
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>>28178057
Lightning Spark is a no-nonsense granddaughter of a medicine-mare and older sister to six. She's well-versed in housekeeping and foalcare, but sick of the constant hubbub at home, which is why she recently left to study out of town.
>>
>>28183704
these are nice and all, but do you have any art that's not for ants?
>>
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>>28183823
Hopscotch is a young bouncy bunny boy who excels in various martial arts and is training in etiquette and various other arts to follow his papa's footsteps as Dinky Twink's bunservant.
>>
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>>28184813
Honey Moon is a travelling salesmare of spices. Her wares include also some mostly-forgotten herbs and she gathers most of her wares on her own in the wetlands and hills of Equestria, drying her haul on the road in her wagon. She enjoys the times she spends in towns and cities making sales and socialising, but she's never sorry to return to work, singing as she goes on her solitary path.
>>
>CYOA gets moved here
>Nobody gives a damn
Man, this thread went from 60 to 0 the second Whack stopped holding it up.
>>
>>28068394
>>
Bampu
Thread posts: 348
Thread images: 126


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