"Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?" >"Shush

>>28066790
>worth your wild

>gives pony rides for cash
>doesn't care if her client is human or pony
>"10 bits saddled, 15 bareback. 20 for a hug afterwards."

>>28066790
>"I'll make it worth your while!"
FTFY

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>>28066790
Dam son

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>>28066790
Like cuddles!

>>28066790
>Ponies doing odd things for cash

Stupid dares other ponies put them through.

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>>28066804
what does 5 bits get me?

>>28066820
A nod in your direction.

>>28066820
A hug with no pony ride.

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>>28066790
>"Um...Anon, not that i'm complaning or anything....but doesn't a housekeeper....you know....keep your house clean...?"
"Do you want your 10 bits or not?"
>"Sorry sir."
"Now, smack my ass and call me a bad boy in pinkie pies voice!"

>>28066832
Well how many bits is a dollar?

>>28066837
1 bit.

>>28066837
How would you feel if a pony told you it doesn't matter since you just wouldn't have enough anyway?

>>28066837
1 USD = .89 bits

>>28066811
I dare you to put poison joke in Mayor Mare's coffee

>>28066837
.04 Its a gold fucking coin

>>28066837
100 red cents to a bit.
So, a dollar a bit.

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>>28066832
>>28066833
Holy shit that's some combo....can I sniff her hair for a quarter?

>>28066854
Gold is not a rare metal in Equestria.

>>28066854
>In a land where they throw around GEMS as currency.
I don't think they care about the value of gold on the level we would.

>>28066858
No but for another 5 bits you can jack off on her back while riding her.

>>28066858
She made that face while looking at Quibble

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>>28066790
>"Trixie is not like these other mares Anon!"
>"She's saving for Medical School!"
>"Yes sir! Trixie is a proud mare!"
"If I give 50 bits will you smack my junk around and spit in my mouth?"
>"Right this way dear, Trixie has a private room!"

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>>28066875
I really want that subway foot long though.
I think you'll agree that 5bits for a sandwich vs 5 bits to jerk off on Rainbow dash are about equivalent value.
>>28066877
I don't give a shit man! I just wanna fug!

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>>28066790
>"EVERYPONY GET ON THE BUCKING GROUND NOW THIS IS A ROBBERY!"

>>28066929
>9mm
Good luck managing to just piss off the mud horses with that round.

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>>28066929
>nice gun, did your girlfriend buy it for you?

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>>28066964
>"Yes"

>>28066948
Actually it's just a BB pistol she bought in a sporting goods store. The moose owes her.

>>28066904
I read Trixie's lines in Dobby's voice.

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>>28066790
>"Wowee Anon!"
>"I can have 200 bits if eat all these pancakes in front of you!"
>"Your such a nice guy Anon!"
>"Why are you sweating so much Nonny?"

>>28066989
Because you're making me nauseous you fat cow

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>>28066836
how did she get that costume?

>>28066837
In "Putting Your Hoof Down", the price of three tomatoes is 2 bits, according to this site: http://www.ers.usda.gov/data-products/fruit-and-vegetable-prices.aspx
One tomato has the average price of $1.30, so 2 bits = $3.90, so 1 bit is $1.95, or simply around 2 bucks.
What am I doing with my life?

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>>28066790
>"So let me get this straight Anon."
>"You want me to come over to your place, and choke you for an hour?"
"That is correct, yes. WHILE dressed as wonder mare."
>"Well...apples an't selling too well this season and I could use the extra bits. Ahh sure why not Anon."
>"Just, you know don't go a hootin and hollerin to everyone about this, okay?"
"Absolutely."

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>>28067027
Living it to the fullest!
I once calculated how much meat to buy for a party.
Life is math and anyone who can't keep up should kill themselves!

>>28066790
>worth your wild

>>28066837
Common turn of phrase says that "two bits" is equal to 25 cents.

So a dollar would net you 8 bits, or said another way get you eight pieces of eight.

>>28067325
>eight pieces of eight
"Eight pieces of whatever we had in our pockets at the time."

>>28067027
But anon, that's assuming that the market value of tomatoes is equivalent both in the US and equestria. Given that all ponies are herbivores that means that tomatoes are more important to their diet meaning they would probably be in more demand thus having a higher market price. The opposite can also be argued though, since they are in demand so much they are over produced and thus are cheaper to buy than here in burger land. It's all relative to the commodities market in whatever region the two currencies reside.

>>28067003
Well, i mean pinkie had one of her right? So it only makes sense...?

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>>28066875

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>>28066790
>"I'll make it worth your wild!"
"Alright, I need you to get on my roller-coaster."
>"Whatever you say, Anon!"
>Once in private, pin her, and whisper,
"Welcome to Mr.Bones Wild Ride, the ride that never ends."

>>28066790
>>28066836
>>28066904
>>28066929
>>28066989
>>28067688
you guys have some weird fetishes.

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>>28066929
Nice 9mm faggot!

>>28066790
>big guy
BANE?

>>28066790
I'd give a pony all of the bits I have if and only if she can kill King Yama in Spelunky.

>>28066836
>Pinkie Pies Voice.
kek

>>28066904
a stripper one spit her gum in my mouth. it wasn't a very good day

>>28068832
You don't understand how badly I laughed. Here's a (kek)
you

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>>28066790
>"So what do you say?" she purrs, hanging loosely from the pole
>You purse your lips
"I-"
>"Great!" she interjects; sweeping you up and setting you onto a nearby couch
>You must have made some mistake
>You open your mouth to protest
>"Rainbow I-"
>"Shh, just sit right back and enjoy the show" she smirks before beginning her routine

>You to writhe her body slowly, rhythmmically to the thumping music
>You continue your display for a few minutes, checking now and then for his reaction
>To your disappointment his expression remains much the same; one of polite disinterest
>It was like he didn't even see you!
>You decide to break the rules slightly and hop down off of the platform before writhing suggestively in front of him, touching him with the lightest caresses
>His expression changes to one of confusion now and your brow creases in frustration
>Just who did her think he was anyway?
>You may not like this job, but this was just insulting!
>Here he was, getting something dangerously close to a lap dance from you, Rainbow Dash of all ponies, and he doesn't even bat an eye!
>You decide to call an end to this
>"That'll be 20 bits" you declare angrily and his hand slides into his pocket
"Uh, thanks?" he says, handing over the payment
>"Yeah, whatever. Just get outta here you jerk!" you growl, pushing and cajoling him outside

"Geez what's her problem?" you wonder aloud as you hear the door slam shut behind you
>Recieving no response, you shrug your shoulders
"Now" you ask no one in particular "Where did Twilight say that optometrist was again?" rubbing at your unseeing eyes

>>28067027
>$1.30 for one tomato
holy shit, I can get like 15 medium sized or ~10 big ones for €5.30.

>>28068939
kek

>>28068939
Well now I'm at a bit of an impasse. Should I make the story about an insecure Rainbow Dash or the adventures of blind Anon?

>>28066790
Dash if you needed money I would have given it to you for free. You know... like friends do.

>>28068497
Aye

>>28069131
YES

>>28069131
Blind anon.

>>28069131
of course

>>28069147
Dash isnt smart anon

>>28069131
Both

>>28069131
Why not both?

Dash feels insulted by anons disinterest in her that she keeps trying sexy things that anon can't see
No one actually says that anon is blind to not hurt his feelings or make him feel disadvantaged but ponies usually notice it right away but not our self absorbed rd, nope not the brightest light

>>28070246
Or for real humor, RD thinks its myopia and that thus her prismatic self should show through, while in reality Anon got some extremely disastrous hellspawn of cataracts and glaucoma when he ate out Twily and Glimmer due to not wearing eye protection from arcane infused fluids.

>it's the middle of the night you, anon, on the way to your coozy cotage in the not so glamorous parts of town
>you see a shadow of a ponie leaning somewhat sexy against a lightpol that happens to be on your way
>as you approach the mysterious stranger you notice it's a she and she does look familiar
>wondering you ask
"Umm..Dash? Is that you?"
>as she heard your voice she jolts in a somewhat more natural pose
>*cough* "hehe h-hey anon h-hows is it going i was just umm.."
>narrowing your eyes you interrupt her with a hand to her muzzle
"Oh i know exactly what you're doing out here dressed like this and all"
>"y-you do?"
>She asked trembling as she started sweating
>"you're following those shady guys there aren't you"
>pointing to two stalions in front that look more like some random drunk guys on theire way home
>"yeah y-you got me there man, i just can't keep a secret from you and your sharp mind"
>doofus anon is so absorbed in dashs flattering words he doesn't even realise the two stalions passing by
>greating dash and asking if "it's still sore", what ever that should mean
>as rainbow swats 'em away anon gets a brilliant idea
"Hey dash! I just got a brilliant idea"
>"and what would that be, exactly?"
"Let's team up! with my witz, smartness and charisma and your dashiness we gonna clean the streats once and for all"
>dash is dumbstruck
>"w-what? No we're not gonna..."
>You interrupt her by throwing your self on a pony that approached you from behind
"While screaming STOP RESISTING, OBEY THE LAW"
>you mistook the stranger for a "danger" of public safety and dash needs to make a decision

>will she free her best customer and make her self the talk of town whe anon eventually talks about your secret
Or
>will she cope with anons autism and play along so none of he friends find out about her night job


hay that's pretty bad

>>28070455
>Dubs confirm arcane fluids are a thing

That sounds actually like a fun idea

>>28066790
But, Dash, your house is made of evaporated water.

>>28066790
>worth your wild

>>28070456
You suck, please stahp

>>28067027
>>28068997
UK version here

average UK wholesale tomato price = £2 per kilo
Average medium sized tomato = 155.5g
that comes to 31.2 pence per tomato
94p for 3 tomatoes
2 bits for 3 tomatos
1 Equestrian bit = 47p

Shit Flutters come to UK for your produce

>>28071457
Oh just wait till Scotland leaves you britbong. Then the pound is fucked.

>>28070456
>>28068939
http://www.myenglishpages.com/site_php_files/grammar.php

Here you go friends.

roleplaying is against the rules y'know

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>>28068939
"Anyway, I really appreciate you helping me Pinkie" you say, gently squeezing your grip on her shoulder
>The mare walking beside you giggles
>"It's no trouble Anon. Besides, it's kind of like a game-"
>"WATCH OUT!"
>Your heart almost leaps out of your chest and you freeze
>"You almost stepped on a crack, silly" she explains, directing you around it
"Pinkie" you scold , continuing your pace "I'm blind but not useless. I don't ne-"
>"Stone!" she screams, shunting you aside
"Pinkie!"
>"Sidewalk"
"Ooof"
>"Pole"
"Jesus"
>"Bit!"
>"Ooooh, a bit!"
"Stop!" you cry, slowly sitting yourself down into the middle of the road "Just stop Pinkie, please"
>You feel the mare sit beside you
>"I'm sorry Nonny. Being somepony's eyes is really hard" she frowns
"Well, not having eyes is pretty hard too, Pinkie" you sigh, reaching out to place a comforting hand on her head
>You succeed only in grabbing a handful of chest fur and she graciously readjusts your grip
>"Say, is that Rainbow Dash?" asks Pinkie after a moment
"I don't know, maybe?"
>"It it!" she confirms enthusiastically "Maybe she can help, Anon! Being able to fly and all"
"Uh, I don't know if that's such a good idea" you reply, remembering Dash's odd behavior from earlier
>"Hey Rainbow Dash! Down here!" calls the mare, ignoring you
"Cheers, Ponk"

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>>28071657
So is being a faggot
Here's your (you)

>>28071638
thanks senpai

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>>28071741

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>>28066790
>"Anon, when I agreed to take your bribe, I didn't think the law you wanted me to pass was this stupid."

>>28071768
Hate his nuclear bombs but love his phrases.

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>>28066790
Here's 1809600 bits, what can I get for these?

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>>28068477
If it's a P226, CZ76, or a 92FS it's fine. Don't get me wrong, .45 ACP is fucking sexy, and I would take a 1911 over a 9mm any day.

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>>28069131

>>28071677
I need more

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>>28068136
U fukken no it

>>28070222
Trips confirm.

>>28066790
>gives 200 bits
>Ho ho, I'm yours for the whole night Cowboy. What are we going to do?
>You put out your copy of Mario Party 3 and the whole club goes silent.
>Rainbow lowers her head in defeat and she softly whimpers, following you to the back of the club.
>A single sad tear fell from the manly bouncers eye
>Truly, this was a den of torture.

>>28073770
You're a monster.

>>28072172
Well now the law I bribed you into signing says you must think that it is that stupid.

And so the Stupid Act of Equestria was passed.

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>>28073770
The horror, the horror.

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>>28073770

>>28073770
>You come back the next night
>Rainbow Dash is trying to hold onto the pole with the blisters of her hooves
>A-Anon! Y-you're back!
>You smile as you hand her 500 bits
>No! I don't want to play Mario Party again!
>You shake your head
>Oh, okay. Pweh, I thought you were going to torture me again
>You pull out Sonic Shuffle instead
>You grab her by the tail and drag her to the back of the club as the club silences once more.
>The manly bouncer continues to cry as Rainbow Dash's screams could be heard from the back.
>What a horrible place of suffering

>>28073937
>You return a week later
>Rainbow dash is no longer on the pole, her hooves far too blistered to hold on
>"Oh... please not me...."
>You hand over a large bag o' bits
>"oh shit...."
>You pull out Wolfenstein: The New order
>"Oh... That doesn't seem so bad."
>You open the case to reveal a copy of BIG RIGS: OVER THE ROAD RACING
>the entire club stops
>the bouncer marches over to you
>you flash the disc at him
>he collapses on the floor screaming in agony
>you drag Rainbow to the back room
>Bouncer is crying on the floor
>rest of club is holding funeral for Rainbow
>what a horrid place

>>28074036
>not desert bus
You only get the money if you get a point

>>28074184
Nah, you gotta use the whole Penn & Teller's Smoke and Mirrors package, toy with her in the various ways the games allow and then finish off with eight straight hours of desert bus.

>>28068939
I'd like to see more interesting adventures of Mr. MagooNon and the ponies ineffectively trying to make money.

>>28074184
This. This shit right here is my heroine. Thank you sir.

>>28067027
>One tomato has the average price of $1.30
That's wrong. http://www.bls.gov/regions/mid-atlantic/data/AverageRetailFoodAndEnergyPrices_USandMidwest_Table.htm

>>28066956
This is just sad

>>28074184Im done greentexting for now. Someone make this.

>>28066929
Why would a unicorn need a gun in the first place when they could just tear there brain stem off with telekinesis. I swear if this wasn't a kids show unicorns would be op as fuck.

>>28066984
"Trixie had to iron her hooves."

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>>28073770
I played that drunk at a party one time, 20 minutes in i was completely sober and wanted to go home.

>>28073937
>Sonic Shuffle
>cheating ass AI always stole the exact card it needed from you every time, especially S
>AI always singled your ass out when it was time to fuck someone over, even if you're not in the lead
Fucking loved/hated that game.

>>28074759
I hated it because of its fucking music. It was god fucking awful.

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Bump + Contribution

>>28075162
Unf

>>28074510
Might try this later bump

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>>28076457
>you return to the club several nights later
>The manly bouncer begins sweating
>You make a beeline toward Dash with a copy of Penn and Teller's Smoke and Mirrors in hand
>she immediately breaks down
>"Anon, please, you can't keep doing this to me!"
>you smile and hold up a comically large sack of bits with a bit sign on it like a game show assistant (see stock pic)
>Dash, clearly fighting tears at this point realizes she needs the money
>defeated, she takes a staggered breath and lets out a small, "..okay"
>she leads you to the back room
>the manly bouncer begins crying and salutes Dash's eternal strength through these, the times that try ponies' souls

>>28076812
>several months later
>no sightings of Anon at the club since the Penn and a Teller incident
>he shows up in a soccer mom's minivan, with all rear seats removed
>shows her the bits he saved up in the back
>Dash lowers her head knowing she's been bought out for a couple weeks minimum
>Anon holds up a copy of NFS Most Wanted '05
>He even has the disc with original printing
>Dash actually has some morel of hope
>they go to the back room
>joke's on her
>Anon just out an NFS MW sticker on a DVD burned with Jacob Sartorious Music Videos

>>28066790
>worth your wild
So I've got to give you my Naxxramas and GvG cards for this?

Fuck you and the horse you rode on.

>>28076860
>about a month later
>Dash shows up at Anon's house after being promised money and vegetables for her soup
>fearing her potential fate, she knocks on the door
>before he can greet her, she quickly says
>"Yeah yeah, I know what you brought me here for, let's just get it over with"
>Anon smiles and welcomes her in
>Dash plops down on the couch in front of the tv
>Anon begins plugging in an NES into the tv
>He opens up a large leather covered box
>He pulls out a cartridge
>Even from a distance, Dash instantly recognizes the green being on the cover with a single word over it's head
>Battletoads
>"ERGH! ANON, I WON'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE, NOBODY DESERVES THIS FATE, NOT EVEN THE MOST EVIL BEINGS WOULD SUBJECT ANYONE TO THIS! I'LL REPORT YOU TO CELESTIA, AND SHE'LL BANISH YOU TO TARTARUS SO FAST YOUR HEAD WILL SPIN
>suddenly, a voice chimes in from the kitchen
"Did someone call for me?"
>"P-princess Celestia?"
"Yes dear, I'm going to be player two!"
>Dash cries harder than ever

>>28076906
Dash's life is suffering

>>28074759
Sounds like Mario's Go Fish.

Fucking asshole always knew what cards I had.

>>28076906
Battletoads was harder on the SNES version. In my personal experience the hardest NES game has always been Ghost n Goblins

>>28077043
Ghost n goblins was hell
Fuck going through the game twice to beat it

>>28073770
>Buying hookers to play shit video games.
If pimps didn't have guns I would do this.

>>28066804
damn better work overtime so i can afford that hug

>>28066790
>I got a couch you can sleep on for free if you keep my dishes washed.
>At least until you can get a real job.
>I also have a storage unit that I keep a couple ATVs in because lolnogarage, so you have a place to put any odd shit you have.

I couldn't not type this.

Bamp

>>28067003
anal vore

>>28077043
Sorry, was just going along with the trend of infamous video games
I grew up on Nintendo consoles (besides the NES) for most of my life, so I don't have much experience with difficult games

>>28066837
16 bytes.

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>>28077043
>Battletoads

>>28076896
lel

Surely you can part with Gazlowe at least

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Someone make a story about Rainbow Dash and Gilda being maids because I'm tired and can't come up with anything.

>>28074036
I'm sickened by this horrible suffering, but at the same time, MOAR PLS

>>28074612
heh

>>28084632
Man, we used to have some great Maid threads.

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>>28085686

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>>28067003

>>28083659

>>28086067
I love that pic

>>28084632
I wanna destroy gilda's ass

>>28067329
Dammit, there goes my sides...

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>>28076906
>Anon waste money to save dash from degrading herself and to spend 'time' with her.
Truly a real human bean

>>28066790
DASH IS PURE YOU SHIT

>>28091534
Rainbow is such a slut, holy shit.

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>>28066790
>"Can I go home now Anon. I've been reviewing your mix tape for hours."
"If you want your bits it has to sound perfect."
>"There's only so much I can do with owl noises Anon....but I need the bits..."

>>28091564
PURE

LOYAL

VIRGIN

>>28088640
You and me both brother

>>28092249
PUREST FORM OF SLUT

REFINED FROM THE MINES OF COCKSLEEVE MOUNTAIN

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>>28092249
>PURE
>VIRGIN

>>28066929
No, you get on the ground, and I'll tell you something.

Buckingham Palace (UK /ˈbʌkJŋəm/ /ˈpælJs/) is the London residence and administrative headquarters of the reigning monarch of the United Kingdom. Located in the City of Westminster, the palace is often at the centre of state occasions and royal hospitality. It has been a focal point for the British people at times of national rejoicing and mourning.

Originally known as Buckingham House, the building at the core of today's palace was a large townhouse built for the Duke of Buckingham in 1703 on a site that had been in private ownership for at least 150 years. It was acquired by King George III in 1761 as a private residence for Queen Charlotte and became known as "The Queen's House". During the 19th century it was enlarged, principally by architects John Nash and Edward Blore, who constructed three wings around a central courtyard. Buckingham Palace became the London residence of the British monarch on the accession of Queen Victoria in 1837.

The last major structural additions were made in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, including the East front, which contains the well-known balcony on which the royal family traditionally congregates to greet crowds. The palace chapel was destroyed by a German bomb during World War II; the Queen's Gallery was built on the site and opened to the public in 1962 to exhibit works of art from the Royal Collection.

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>>28092471

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>>28086067
>the watermark
>the name
>deviantart

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>>28092509

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>>28066790
>"Please Anon, haven't I done enough?"
>"Just give my kingdom the support it needs."

>>28067325
>So a dollar would net you 8 bits
so $1 = 1 byte

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bump.

>>28092897

>>28093352

>>28093935

>>28092631
[prepares another spoonful of lima beans]

>>28094486
YOU MONSTER

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boop

>Don't have content
>Bump anyway
Why Anons?

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>>28096299
Because your parents hate you.

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>>28066790
>"Very cute Anon, ha ha."
>"Can I have my 10 bits now?"

>>28096529
>You keep booping her
>"Hey-Hey! You said just one boop for ten bits! St-Stop it!"
>You boop slower, then faster, watching her reaction
>She is slowly giving in, face burning hot, breathing hard
>"Uh-Uhhh! Oh my gosh... S-Stop it, puh-please! Oh fucking hay... Oh fuck, oh fuck! That feeks so GOOD!"
>Her tongue lolls out as she moans, legs shaking as she lowers herself
>Pony sex is weird, yet strangely arousing

>>28096299
Personally I'm doing it for some more of dash getting tortured by anon
It doesn't necessarily have to be video games, but that seems to be the custom

>>28071457
"Free"land here.
Price fluctuate by season. Tomatoes only grow year round by careful greenhouses. Greenhouses are not cannonotically proven in the show. Therefore the price of tomatoes is lowest in season and expensive out of season. And it would be even cheaper to buy tomatoes in the beginning of the season to mid-beginning, before the bulk goods are under consumed. Bulk stock will start rotting and the demand tapers quickly to expensiveness the farther than the earlier times. So in conclusion comparing the bit to a fuckin piece of food is foolish.

>>28096743
Fuck that amount of autism

glad im not the only one who thought like this

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>>28066790
>"Well, you seem like a nice guy."
>"And I do need the bits."
>"Sure why not Anon, how bad could Anal be?"
>"So what is Anal exactly?"

>>28071677
Will you continue?

>>28096806
Its a candy, just bend over.