Here we see the ponies in their natural habitat... Oh! It appears

>>27918737
Which one of you is ready to suck my penis? I hope it's the purple one!

>>27918737
>rape

Each of you, press "d" to offer your dick

>>27918737
Throw them meat and run like hell, they will trample/rape you

>>27918737
*unzips dick*

>>27918737
>David Attenborough narrating

>>27918737
Restraint the Pegasus first because they scare and fly away easily, then use a bag or piece of clothing to blind the unicorn so it goes to sleep instead of attacking.
Once they are both safely restrained relocate them to a safer area outside of the tourist section of the park, if the problem persists put a tag in one of their ears so we can follow her to the point she is using to sneak inside

>>27918737
>>27918837
You guys need a writefag? It's been a while but I could try if you wanted.

>>27918907
Anon the park ranger?

>>27918930
>celestia and luna are yogi and boo boo
>"Nnyeaaah-ahahah, smells like some yummy pick-a-nick baskets and cakes out there, Boo"
>'SISTER YOGI, WE DOTH SPOTTETH RANGER ANONYMOUS AHEAD, HE SHALL UNDOUBTEDLY ATTEMPT TO HAMPER OUR AFOREMENTIONED FORAGING FOR DELICIOUS TREATS.'

>>27918841
Fuck you. I nearly spilled my drink.

>>27918930
I was thinking David Attenborough guides the reader/Anon through Equestria, but I could do that instead if you'd like.

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PARK SECURITY HAS BROKEN DOWN

ELECTRIC FENCES ARE DOWN
PONIES HAVE ESCAPED THEIR ENCLOSURES

All visitors please proceed to the escape vessels in an orderly fashion.

>>27918979
Nah your idea is better. Do yours.

>>27919081
Alright. I'll get started ASAP.

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>>27919081
this

>>27918737
>These ponies are all heading toward Sugarcube Corner on the right
>But one of them caught our eye
>The one in the center
>She would neither go toward Sugarcube Corner or return to her home
>Shortly afterwards we saw her headed towards the mountains some 70 km away
>Dr. Faust explains that even if we caught her and brought her back to the colony, she would immediately head back towards the mountains
>But why?
>One of these disoriented but deranged equines showed up at the camp already some 80 km away from where it should be
>The rules for the humans are do not disturb or hold up the pony
>Stand still and let her on her way
>And here she is headed off towards the interior of the vast continent
>with 5000 km ahead of her, she is heading towards certain death

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWH_9VRWn8Y&ab_channel=futile1981

>>27919391
;_;7
Carry on, brave poner.

>>27919081
>>27919314
Time to dust off the old name, 'cause it's writefaggin' time! Can't promise frequent postings, but I'll try my best!
-
>6:55PM.
>You stumble through the door of your small apartment after a long, grueling day at work.
>Thankfully, today is a Friday, and you have the whole weekend to look forward to.
>With a heavy sigh, you drop your workbag to the ground, shut the door behind you, and begin trudging forward to the sofa in your living room.
>PLOOMF!
>Your butt hits the plush cushions with an audible thud as you sink into a state of pure, absolute comfort.
>As a large smile forms on your face, every muscle in your body simultaneously relaxes, nearly to the point of going limp.
“Aaahhhh… sweet release!”
>Bzz! Bzz!
>A surprising and slightly erotic vibration emanates from your pocket. Reaching in, you pull out your phone to see a reminder flashing on the screen.
>’Documentary Tonight!’ it reads.
>Oh, yeah! The documentary about that new world NASA made contact with is tonight!
>You swiftly lurch forward towards your coffee table and grab the remote, turning on your TV and switching to BBC America as fast as humanly possible.
>As the end credits to an episode of Doctor Who-Gives-A-Fuck scroll past on the screen, your excitement begins to build.
“Come on, come on!” you think to yourself.
>Finally, after what seems like an eternity, the credits cut to black, which then quickly fades to reveal a well lit, black box room with a wooden stool in its center.
>An older, fairly dressed man with sleek silver hair slowly walks into the shot from the left side of the screen.
“This is it…”
>He sits on the stool, crossing his left leg over his right, and looks to the camera with a pleasant smile.
>”Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” he says with a deep, angelic British accent. “I’m Sir David Attenborough…”

>>27919451
>Equinox
Oh wow. Thought you were dead.

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>>27919451
You do what you do

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Made me realize I just want to watch pony documentaries narrated by brits.
>no pierce brosnan narrating earth ponies swimming upstream in yellowstone
>no stephen merchant jovially describing the courtship displays of pegasi

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>>27919451
>As the end credits to an episode of Doctor Who-Gives-A-Fuck scroll past on the screen
>Doctor Who-Gives-A-Fuck
Excuse you mother fucker

>>27919606
It's probably the new series, And that one is shit.
You know that.

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Please do not touch the ponies on your visit.

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>>27919616
Fuck you.

>>27918800
b-but anon, ponies are herbivores

>>27919037
THEY ARE NOTFLUFFIES

>>27919616
Nice job, now she has your scent. She will endlessly follow you now.

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Someone needs to get patrick stewart to narrate Fallout: Equestria.
Please?

>>27919634
If they were fluffy vermin it would be easy.

Just offer kids 10¢ a piece to stomp 'em.
Problem solved and it only costs a few bucks.

>>27919630
Wanna fucking try one? Evil little bastards...

my internet a shit. will have next part posted soon.

>>27919454
nope. i'm still here. always here. :D

>>27919477
and i will

>>27919606
it was a joke senpai, calm down

>>27919853
Good to see you then.

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>>27918841

>>27919451
>”Tonight, research from an elite team of scientists will take you to a new world, “ Sir Attenborough begins. “One that is very similar to our own, while simultaneously being unlike anything humanity has ever seen before.”
>Other than the television, the only audible sound in your apartment is your breathing.
>”Through the help of my famous documentary film crew, you’ll travel with me as I explore a vast, mystical land,” he continues. “A land known to its inhabitants as ‘Equestria’.”
>From the right side of the screen, a small horse-like creature with light pink fur, large baby blue eyes, and a bouncy dark pink mane happily trots towards Attenborough. On her snout lies a pleasant smile, and on her flanks a depiction of three balloons, two blue and one yellow.
>She approaches Attenborough and sits aside the stool, the top of her mane just slightly crests above the height of his stomach.
>”This is Pinkie Pie,” he says, reaching down to pet the miniature horse’s head. “She is one of several thousand, if not millions of small, equine-esque creatures who call Equestria home.”
>”Hi, everyone!” Pinkie says cheerfully, waving to the camera.
>Wait wait wait hold the phone. Did this horse just speak English?

Damn character limits.
-
>>27919867
Thanks! Good to see that people remember me. :D

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>>27920132
Ponks a fucking best.

>>27920132
>Attenborough smiles and motions for the… pony, you guess, to sit on his lap, to which she happily complies.
>”Amazingly,” Attenborough continues, adjusting his body to a comfortable horse-cuddling position. “Her species has not just developed vocal communication, but also an entire civilized society very much on par with that of our own.”
>Stunned, you feel your jaw drop as you continue to struggle with comprehending what’s unfolding in front of you.
>”I know, it seems like a wild fantasy, but it’s every bit as real as our own world,” he says. “And I invite you to follow along as I explore everything Equestria, and it’s adorable citizens, have to offer. Join me, shall you?”
>As he finishes speaking, the black box facade behind him falls away to reveal a stunning landscape, with plains stretching for as far as the eye can see, and the silhouette of a mountainous tundra visible on the horizon.
>On the plains lies a small riverside town, and off in the distance, perched on the side of the tallest mountain, is an odd, almost regal structure.
“Ho. Ly. Shit.”
>As the motion of the camera comes to a stop, the title “Planet Earth” appears in the center of the screen in thin, lowercase letters.
>After a few seconds, the four letters at the end of ‘earth’ fade away into nothingness, leaving the ‘e’ as the word’s lone survivor
>But, almost immediately, new letters appear in their place, completing the final title…
>...Planet Equestria.

My laptop is dying so I'm gonna have to plug it in for a bit. Can't use it while it's charging otherwise it'll overheat. Will try to be back as soon as I can.

>>27918978
Were you by any chance drinking chocolate milk there?

>>27918737
Carikey, git alouda dis en rite er.

>>27920468
Hurry back

>>27920507
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pU0UFbxZDGM

>>27920468
Okay so my computer crashed while charging so I'm going to have to put the story off for tonight. I'll try to get a few more parts up tomorrow, alright?

>>27921069
That's fine, but come back pls

>>27921146
Will do. I won't let you guys down again.

>>27918737
Can I pet them?

>>27922674
Only if they show clear signs that they want to be pet.

>>27922674
Absolutely not!
If you touch them your scent will get on them and the rest of the herd will not accept them.

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>>27918837
this
now
i summon writefag

Come back writefag, I need my fix.

Bumping to stave off archive-death! Please hurry back, writefriend.

Hi guys. Sorry I haven't been able to write for you guys today. Got caught up in a lot of other stuff. If all goes well I should have a couple more parts up tonight, so stay tuned.

>>27918737
run, they will rape and kill you, this is not a joke, they are horrible deadly creatures.

>>27926470
"rape"

>>27926446
I await your posting

>>27918837
>Not David attenbourogh narrating a documentary about morgan freeman narrating a doumentary about Gilbert gotfried in equestria.

>>27918943
Kek

>>27926828
Special DVD commentary by Werner Herzog.

>>27926971
Filmed by Ken Burns.

Gonna bump

Sorry I'm late guys. Had some personal things to attend to. This is probably gonna be the only update for today.
-
>>27920222
>”Our first stop on our journey to Equestria is this small little municipality,” David says as the still shot of the landscape zooms in on the town by the river. “Appropriately dubbed… Ponyville.”
>The shot cuts to David standing in the middle of a dirt road, surrounded by wooden homes with thatched roofs and little horses going about their daily business.
“Here, we see the ponies in just one of their many natural habitats,” he continues. “This quaint little village is home to several hundred of them, including an ascended member of royalty.”
>Most ponies continue about their lives as normal as the cameraman begins strolling through town, but a few stop out of curiosity and give it a look.
>”Notice that there isn’t just one species of pony here,” Attenborough states. “While most are similar to horses on earth, Pegasi and Unicorns, once thought to be nothing but the product of human myth, also reside throughout the country.”
>As he finishes speaking, the camera pans to a group of three ponies conversing with one another at a wooden market stall, decorated with all sorts of apple delicacies.

Fucking character limit!

>>27928977
>”The powerful Earth pony is the most common species,” he continues, as the camera moves to showcase an orange pony with a blonde mane, wearing a hat eerily similar to a Stetson. “Their strength is their biggest attribute, followed closely by their dedication to work and the friends that surround them.”
>You watch with an intense curiosity as the trio engages in conversation- seemingly with lighthearted banter, given the smiles on their faces and occasional moments of laughter.
>”The gracious Pegasi is the most agile,” Attenborough explains as the camera pans left to a cyan Pegasus with a multicolored mane. “Lightweight and swift, they are capable of flying at the height of a jumbo jet, and can walk on clouds. A select few are even trained in the art of manipulating weather patterns.”
>The camera moves again to showcase a marshmallow white Unicorn with a curly purple mane, happily chatting along with her companions.
>”The unicorn is the most articulate,” he continues. “Capable of casting a variety of spells with their horns, human scientists still have yet to find out how they are able to produce such a feat of wonder, and until such an explanation comes, most will refer to it as simply ‘magic’.”
>The orange Earth pony notices the camera and gives it a quick wave, prompting the other two to follow suit.

>>27928977
SHIT I FORGOT A GREENTEXT MARKER FOR ONE LINE. THIS IS NOT GOING TO SIT WELL WITH MY OCD.

/rant. Sorry about that.

>crikey the blue Pegasus seems to pissed off that I'm in her territory
>Pegasus can be nasty creatures once theyre riled up.
>I'm gonna calmly and slowly circle around her.
>Ok her wings are extended that means she's about to ---ooofff!

*Sound of scuffling are heard*

>She a fighter she is. Hold on I'm going to see I can calm her down by jamming my thumb in her butthole

*Loud whinnies are heard as the struggle increases*

>Oh yea that really pissed her off. You see if a Pegasus doesn't see you as a potential mate they'll defend their hind quarters to the death.

*Eventually the struggle stops*

>Whew I seemed to have tired her out. She now in a submissive state. See how my thumb slides in and out with ease. More than likely she'll follow me around after I realise her. But that's for another time. Tune in next week where we'll be tracking the mysterious alicorn using our new friend here. Thank you and goodnight

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>British documentary
>Here in the town of Ponyville, the pegasus is in search of her prey
>Clean, uninterrupted footage of the rainbow maned pony following her pranking target

>American documentary
>Guitar riffs playing in background
>YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T WANT ONE OF THESE SPEEDSTERS IN YOUR BACKYARD
>Rapid jump cuts of the pegasus
>THE PEGASUS MAY LOOK INNOCENT, BUT THIS NASTY PIECE OF WORK IS NOT TO BE MESSED WITH
>More flashy jump cuts
>THIS INNOCENT EARTH PONY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S WAITING FOR HER. THE FURY OF THE PEGASUS IS NOT TO BE UNDERESTIMATED
>More flashy jump cuts
>The pegasus strikes and drops her water balloon on her target
>Strange animal sounds and rock music are edited in as it attacks as Americans find silent footage too boring
>Slo mo replay of the attack in black and white
>AND IT'S OVER IN A FLASH 'SENTRY'
>THIS LITTLE EARTH PONY
>JUST FOUND OUT WHY THEY CALL HER
>RAINBOW
>DASH!
>Starwipe to next clip

>"Play it again!" squeaks the pegasus sitting in your lap "Again!"

>>27929452
>British documentary
>American documentary
Yeah, it's discouraging. I can't think of anything produced by any of the Discovery owned networks that isn't crap. PBS still makes decent documentaries though...NOVA, Frontline, Nature are all good.

>>27928977
>”Our first stop on our journey to Equestria is this small little municipality,” David says as the still shot of the landscape zooms in on the town by the river. “Appropriately dubbed… Ponyville.”
I'm reading that in Attenborough's voice. You even got his lingo right.

>>27919692
>>27919634
>fluffies
Damn, reminds just how much time has past since I started frequenting /mlp/. A fluffy thread was literally the first thread I saw when I came here in spring of '12

>>27929665
American one is superior, fight me

>>27918737
*unzips pants and engorged member flops out*
"It is well know that ponies enjoy human sperm. If we're lucky these two are hungry"
*ponies cautiously approach boner*

>>27929247
Do one but with Pony Steve Irwin

>>27930189
>Cricky the horn got me right in my ticker
Done

>>27923445
so I can bring her home
...
what if I touch all of them?

>>27932293
>what if I touch all of them?

If you touch all of the ponies, they will go extinct. Do you want the ponies to go extinct?

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>>27919616

>>27933723
Allahu akbar?

>>27918737
Admittedly this prompt is pretty adorable.

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>Ew you guys look stupid
>Hey dont offend them ~~especially the purple one~~
Flame war incoming!

>>27937101
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRy3wICXVXI

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>>27937292

>>27918737
Bend over

>>27938535
do they bend or do you?

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Is it okay to put things inside the ponies?

Inside their tushies?

>>27940725
Somebody should shop Rainbow on his arm

>>27931937
Kek

>>27940732
>Dash

Works for me, though I guess any pegasus would work here.

>>27940713
No it is not.

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>"Guys, let's stop here and rest"
>David Attenborough stands a few feet away panting heavily
>"Are you okay Mr Attenborough, sir?" one of the cameramen ask
>He waves the man away, his eyes fixated on a cicada resting on his arm
>He'd made a new friend
>Mr Attenborough says he'll be back in a moment and wanders beyond the treeline
>The rest of the crew begin setting up camp
>15 minutes later they realize that Mr Attenborough is still gone
>You run into the brush looking for him
>"Mr Attenborough?"
>"Mr Attenborugh, sir?!"
>You dash through a clearing
>"...David?"
>The man lies propped up against a tree, his eyes closed and a smile upon his face
>His cicada friend wanders aimlessly on his arm
>He'd died surrounded by the world of nature he'd loved so well

>>27941858
That fucking cicada killed him!

>>27940893
Because Dash is best pet.

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>>27940713
that would get her peeved .

Heart-warming bump:

>CMCs cuddled up next to "Uncle Dave" in front of a camp fire, wanting to hear all about his famous adventures

To those wondering if I'm dead, I'm not, but I'm busy as fuck and likely won't be able to write until the weekend. Just wanted to give y'all a heads up.

>>27945974
Fuck real life. David is more important

>>27945974
You putting this in a pastebin, friend?

>>27947197
I know man, but shit has to get done. I'll be back this weekend!

>>27947509
I will be when its done.

>>27948868
If David dies before then I swear to Christ I will blame the death on you

>3 days without green
Kek, this is sad.

Rest in peace thread.