Last thread hit the post limit, continued from >>27833713.

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Just gonna dump to get the ball rolling.

Are there any raven ponies named Hugin and Munin?

>>27891967
>>27891985
>>27892060
>>27892090

Oh my, so much of my stuff

>>27892332
Post some of your stuff.

>>27892332
You draw good stuff, which is why I led with it. Sparrowpone is cutest birdpone after all.

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>>27892395
>>27892416

Well, I made this last night. I will say I'm not all that happy with how it came out, but I'll spareow you the details.

Btw, I think I'll settle for the name Helia.

>>27892486
Based artist. the best

>>27892513
y-you too

I'm trying to draw an Albatross right now (mentioned in the last thread) but my computer is currently shitting itself, so I'll just have to see what happens

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>>27893285
Computer kinda sorted itself out a little

-Large albatross species can spend up to five years at sea.

>>27893673
oh shit, thats a big wingspan

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>>27893673

>>27893740
-They have the longest wingspan of any bird, reaching up to 3.5m (11.5ft).

It's a pain to draw is what it is

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>>27893741

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>>27893673
Fraid this is all for now.
I'll try to finish it tomorrow, but failing that It'll have to be next weekend cause I'll be gone for the week

>>27893741
I guess you could say he's the alba male

>>27893929
Ait. I'm free for the weekend, so I'll try to keep the art coming at least daily.

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>>27893955
Keep it alive my dude, we can keep it going

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jeez where did everybody go

>>27891967
bump

Page 8 bump.

Keep it alive my friends

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Keep BIRB alive!

>>27892486
Very nice work, and a very nice name for a very nice birb.

>>27896308
That is funnier than it has any right to be.

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why do we have so few posters now

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>>27897032
Nich poners need a cool off period between posts. There's just not enough content. I found a new best owl though.

>>27897032
We just had two threads and over a thousand posts including hundreds of greens and a bunch of original art. We are mostly CREATING the original content since there was so little of it out there to begin with.

If we can keep this thread going there's gonna be more posters. It just takes time.

>>27897388
This

Also rump

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Birb

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>>27891967
Postan a few more birbs

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>>27897756

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>>27897758

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>>27897763

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>>27897765

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>>27897767

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>>27897769

And with this Peep plushie, I'm done for now until I get home from work. Got more on the PC.

>>27897765
I love me a sassy blue birb

Guys, it just had hit me. Aren't they all just pegasi?

>>27897821
pegusai is horse with wings
birb horse is horse with birb

>>27897821
Totes different

>>27897821
We really need a text explaining this In the OP.

>Why bird pones? Aren't they just pegasi?
Bird pones are generally considered a subspecies of pegasi that take on additional qualities of birds. These qualities include but are not limited to: feather patterns, egg laying, hollow bones, personality traits (e.g. magpies are obsessed with shiny things), minor carnivorism, a love of bread, and variation in body size. Yes, they are pegasi, but with more to them.

>Uh, griffons?
A griffon is a fusion of a bird and a cat, traditionally an eagle and a lion. Bird pones are a fusion of pegasi and different birds. Ergo they're not the same creature, in case you couldn't tell from the differences in anatomy. This thread is for the bird pegasi hybrid enthusiasts.

>>27897970
From last threads:

>>What the hell is this shit?
A thread about horses that are also birds.

>>So... Pegasi?
Not exactly, as they take up loads of behaviors/characteristics from them, like eating meat.

>>Can you fuck it?
Yes.

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Another asshole gull.

>>27898437
Sharkpone needs to meet gullpone.

>>27898437
They are very fun to watch if you throw big chunks of bread inbetween a flock.
Same thing with ducks, one will nap it and race away with the rest chasing its tail.

>>27898497
>Hold a sun chip out and watch the flock freak out,
>Eventually one gets brave and snags the chip from your fingers.

>>27898560
now imagine that with ponies
[anxious bird horse noises]

>>27898437
>Asshole Gull, you're a bum
>You shit the park again
>Asshole Gull, what a bum, what a bum
>Asshole Gull, squawk for food
>and coat all the cars in poo
>Asshole Gull, what a bum, what a bum

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Bampin'

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>>27897880
>pegusai is horse with wings
>birb horse is horse with birb
>with birb
>unlike with wings
>birb horse with birb

>>27899274
I'm saying that the only difference from pegusai and normal horse is the wings
birb horse has wings, and additional birb traits.

so unless you belive that birds are nothing but a pair of wings, there's quite a lot that birb can add to horse, such as laying eggs, a carnivorous appetite, nesting instinct, seasonal migration, a penchant for collecting shiny things, specific colorations ect, ect...

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>>27898497
Mine?

rump

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>>27900145
>>27900526
jesus people at least post birb

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Bumping with actual best owl pone.

>>27901355
who?

>>27901488
Exactly

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>"Curse Anon and his... his... ~coo~ delicious bread"

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>>27902291
w-woah

>>27901355

She's super cute, goddamn. I dont even think I'd mind if she had a cloaca instead of candy vag.

>>27902291
Fucking >unf

>>27891985
Is that Fluttershutter?

>>27902814
It's Helia, the sparrow >>27892486
She and Fluttershy do share that long swept fringe, but Helia's is shorter and gets even shorter towards the back of her head.

>>27897713

s-scary birb.

>>27902291
Oh bother... stuck again.

My god I haven't seen Winnie the Pooh in years and I still remember this crap.

>>27902291
>"Anon, could you push me in?"
"Push? Oh, sure."
>extract pants.zip
>"A-Anon? What was that?"
"Ah, just a little something I need to push you. Now relax."

>>27904106
Hot.

>>27904106
>not using your face to push her in

>>27904377
>not using your dick

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>>27902291
>>27904106
Well now we have a matching set!

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>be Anon
>sitting next to goose pony gf as she wolfs down her salmon
>as she finishes, she turns and gives you that sultry look
"Alright, let me just stop you right there. One, you have fish breath, and two, your tongue has fucking barbs on it!"
>"Aww c'mon Anon, the barbs make it better!"
"Better for stripping the flesh off of bones maybe, I don't want that anywhere near my junk!
>she stands on the bench, looming over you the only place she can, glaring
>"I think we both know how this is going to end."
"Yea, with me hauling ass out of here while you chase me honking the entire time."
>"*honk* ANOOOON!!! *honk*"
"I knew I should have stayed with the magpie..."

page 10

Damn /mlp/ is moving quickly tonight.

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>"Ya know colts, way back before your fancy Wonderbolts stole the scene, the princesses relied on none other than the bald eagle ponies to defend our homeland."
"We know Grandpa Sam, you've told us this story already."
>"Well you're gonna hear it again! We bled and died against Sombra so you fillies could sleep at night!"
We know Grandpa Sam, and you don't need to sing the song agai-"
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRe5o-laoS8

pg10 again

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Last bump from me tonight.
Took a look at the catalog and saw all the Glimmer; don't come to /mlp/ that often, so do I even want to know what's going on?

>>27905412
Adorns!

>>27894449
Just got back from holiday. Looking forward to more birb.

>>27906882
Shitposters flooding the board probably.

When are we getting more green about Anon buying an airship?
We need to move pointless shit out of the Twilight Thunderdome of fucks.

>>27907743
I'll probably try to start throwing together something Mondayish when a) I have some off days and 2) when my gall bladder attack finally finishes and either kills me or finally goes away. So no I havent forgotten. Also wanna do more bird prone culture stuffs and anon being awesome.

In other news...I'm kind of amazed that I actually have *readers*. I mean whoah...

>>27891967
birds are not that important tbqh

>>27908610
you wot m8?

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>>27908610
Say again?!

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>>27908610

>>27908624
>>27908787
>not posting the pic

>>27908610

It's all mind over matter, Anon. We don't mind and (you) don't matter.

So are scarecrows intended to keep actual birds away from crops, or thieving bird pones?

>"I'm telling you Anon, those things are evil!"
"They're stuffed... with straw..."
>*caw* "Evil straw maybe! Just look at those creepy eyes!"
"Those are buttons sewn onto canvas."
>"So you admit it's just like something from a horror movie!"
*sigh*

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>>27909318
>"E-evil?"

>>27909563
Would hug

"Maggie, have you seen my headse- SWEET CELESTIA WHY DO YOU HAVE THE BLOODSTONE SCEPTER?!"
>"I... uh... found it."
"EMBER IS GONNA BE PISSED WE GOTTA RETURN IT!"
>"NO! *caw* I found this shiny fair and square and no pipsqueak dragoness is-
*thud*
-"RETURN MY DAUGHTER'S STAFF OR BE INCINERATED!"
>"... Perhaps I can part with this -one- shiny..."

>>27910448
If Magpie pone was real I would so get a dick piercing

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>>27910913
I understand dick piercings may be some people's thing, but what happens during sex? I don't like the idea of having my dong being jerked on by some brass rod.

>>27910913
have fun with that.

>"ooh, shiny!"
"yup, shiny, and it's all for yo-GAAAHHH FUCKING AAAAH-"
>"thanks, anon!"

>>27911099
Apparently they can make sex better for the reciever.

>>27911113
Nah man, just tell her that you consider it hers already and that you're holding it for her. She'll value your peener twice as much and want to take you to the nest bed for extra safe keeping.

"Hey Twilight, did you walk the bread I bought over to our bird pony friends like I asked?"
>"Yea, I teleported it all twenty minutes ago."
"You WHAT?! I told you NOT to teleport bread!"
>nightofthelivingbread.wmv
-"Hey anon, thanks for the bread shipment! *coo* You should send it to us like that more often; it's more fun when the bread puts up a fight."
"... I honestly don't know what I expected."

Yea, I suck at green, but I'd rather contribute -something- over just bumping and waiting for the better writers to come back.

>>27912254
It's hard to be afraid of vengeful yeast.

>>27912254
A picture of a pigeon pony battling an ebil bread monster demands to be made.

>>27911704
>bird pone domme waifu has you pierced
>Piercing is super shiny
>Power dynamic in relationship shifts 180 degrees on "Shieniez Nite"

Feels good man.

Bamp

>be Anon
>have crow pony buddy
>have to constantly cover his ass
>bastard runs a great shell game
>trying to convince him to use his brains for good
>lolnope just uses them to irritate Twilight
>she can't get over the fact a bird pony can be as smart as her without schooling
>found the library organized Z-A just to fuck with her one day
>she's still butthurt over it
>you remember why you hang out with him again

>>27914324
And his name is /b/eauregard.

>>27909563
There is no good.
There is no evil.
There is only BIRB.

If there is no birb faq, should there be?

I want Great Tit pone to be the equivalent of flat chested (flat crotched?). Just so that Anon can tease her about her name. She acts all tough and shoots back at Anon Great Tits are relatively brave birds in my experience. In reality, however, her tit size is her biggest insecurity and it's eating her up on the inside. She looks at herself in the mirror every night and wishes her tits were bigger.

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>>27915310

I am Anonymous, and I approve this message.

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Posted last thread

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AWESOME BIRBS

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PRETTY BIRB

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BIRB is SMRT

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TERRITORIAL BIRB

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BIRBS being BIRBS

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As we can plainly see, Birb IS important.

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Perhaps the MOST important of things.

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Perhaps the most important of all the things that are important.

Together, anons, we will make BIRB stronk.

TO 500 WE SHALL GO.

>>27915744
qt little quackpons

Bampu

>>27917241
This is adorable, and also looks agonizingly painful. What a strange combination of descriptions.

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>you will never have a sparrowpone nuzzle your hand

>>27918541
That's Peep tho

how did bird pone come to be?

something like this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEZL4ult9n0

Writing on a short oneshot right now

>>27919286
Oh god, I haven't seen that in forever

>>27918541
Why live?

>>27919781
There's a small possibility that in the distant future you can buy a custom android that looks/acts exactly like a sparrowpone.

>>27915310
>“I’m just saying: I think it’s stupid that Radiance didn’t think to conjure up a bridge instead of platforms when they were fleeing over the canyon. That way, that Mistress one wouldn’t have clumsily wrong-stepped and fallen down.”
>Be Great Tit pone
“Hey, if you and your friend were fleeing for your life chased by a humonguos alien monster you’d probably also go with the first idea that popped into your head. Plus, a large bridge like that is probably too much for her powers.”
>It's 1 am, and you’re standin in Anon's doorway after bring over for the evening. Again.
>”Except that’s not a fair comparison; I’m not an experienced superhero. Radiance shouldn’t know better than taking that risk.”
>Must've been at least the fourth time this week, and it's only Friday.
>If it hadn't been for Anon working night on Tuesdays over at the Royal Canterlot Museum, you'd probably have hung out with him that evening too.
“Whatever. I guess they had to create some intrigue somehow, and I think it worked. I liked the movie.”
>You don’t like Tuesday nights, but Anon has to make a living somehow.
>His alien look, big size, and strange resistance to pony magic made any pony think twice before picking a fight, and made Anon an excellent security guard.
>”Well, yeah, I still liked it as well. I’m just pointing out the things that fell flat, you know.”
“You mean like your tits?”
>”No, I mean like your face after taking a hoof to it.”
“Hah! Jokes on that Rainbow cunt, she didn’t get that last pint of SAA cider even when trying to cut in line. And my nose healed up nicely thanks to that zebra.”
>”Well, you didn’t get the cider either, moron”, you say with a smirk on your face.
”Yeah, yeah. The important thing is that the cunt didn’t profit from being a cunt”, Anon says and holds up a finger matter-of-factly.
>”I guess it is, heh.”
>Thus ends the conversationo, and Anon and you share a few seconds of silence.

>>27920219
>You make a heavy sigh, as to round things off.
“It was to nice have you over tonight as well, flatty.”
>“~chirp~ And I had a great time with you too, fatty.”
>You both laugh lightly as you embrace each other in a hug good bye.
>”Good night, Anon”
”Good night.”
>Your eyes meet one last time before you take off into the night
>The night’s cool air caresses you as you gracefully glide along the mountainside, down towards the forest covered ground below the Equestrian capital.
>Your only company was the rushing sound in your ears and the faint light of the moon revealing the treetops below you.
>As you reach the leafy crowns, you make a quick dive, turn, and a twist and land on the balcony of your small treehouse.
>You take the key out from the underneath the third plank to the left of the door, and make your way into your house.
>Well inside you immediately steer towards the small, worn out bed in the corner of your house’s only room. A bed which you hade built yourself out of parts you had found in large garbage containers around Canterlot and brought home.
>You walk up to the foot of the bed and grab the covering blanket with your teeth.
>With a flick of your neck you throw the blanket into the air, throw your body onto the squeaky mattress, allowing the blanket to softly land on top of you and cover you up.
>With your head placed on the “second-hand” pillow, you shut your eyes and o through the evening with Anon.

>>27920227
>You had made your way over pretty much uninvited, as in you hadn’t recieved a formal invitation or anything, but you knew you were welcome there anyway.
>Anon had been just about done making dinner and, although he didn’t really know beforehand that you were coming, hade made some extra.
>As your visits had become more and more frequent, he had learned that he might as well to cook for two while he was at it.
>Anon is very kind and generous to provide you with food on a slightly-less-than-daily basis. You’re pretty sure that oher birdpones consider you spoiled, and you would probably agree if you hadn’t beeing the one getting the warm cooked meals.
>Once all the delicious herb and garlic pasta had slipped down into your belly, you and Anon had both taken a seat on the living room couch for some shittalking and TV.
>It was Friday, which meant that certain TV-channels would be doing a movie night kinda thing. Once all then shitty romcom shows had ended, of course. But you two just ran a conversation istead of paying attention to the TV.
>Your choices had been between a documentary on the history of the Crystal Kingdom, a gritty police drama, and the latest comic book hero movie. The choice was pretty much given.
>After the movie you had engaged in a discussion about it and run critique and praise through each other, sharing your thoughts of the adventure you had just observed.
>And then there was the good bye.

>”I’m just pointing out the things that fell flat, you know.”
>”You mean like your tits?”

>The words echo through your head and into your ears as your head lay on the pillow.
>“It was to nice have you over tonight as well, flatty.”

>>27920246
This is MOST excellent. The feels must flow!

>>27920246
>You try your hardest to push Anon’s repeating voice aside and forcefully make yourself go to sleep instead. Resistance, however, is futile.
>But the thoughts eat their way back into your brain, down your spine, and from there spreading throughout your ribcage as well.
>You know you probably should tell Anon about it. Or, rather, should have told him already. But parts of you worries that it’ll ruin the amazing bond you have.
>It’s not that Anon’s trying to be hurtful, you know that for sure. You tease each other all the time over all sorts of things, all i good fun. But the convenience of your breed’s name - Great Tit - has made it easy for him to pinpoint your biggest insecurity.
>You had tried telling him about your problem before, but you always chicken out at the last second. The thoughts of where things would go from that leave you mortified.
>First of all, he’ll probably think silly of you. And you wouldn’t blame him. After all, the whole name calling and teasing is silly. But you can’t help that it gets to you whenever he talks about your lower twins.
>You worry that if you tell Anon to not tease you about your tits, he will not just stop calling you things like ‘flatty’ or ‘flatjacks’, but also stop viewing you as an equal in general, and instead see you as a fragile being to be careful around.
>The teasing and name calling would stop, your company would be less enjoyable and appealing, and eventually things would die off. And the thought of that absolutely terrifies you.
>You sigh to yourself and climb out of the bed.
>You grab a chair from the small dining table in the other side of the room and drag it over to the window.
>You place the chair strategically so that the moon would bathe it in her light through dirty glass panes.

>>27920465
>Like so many nights and days before this one, you sit yourself onto the chair and look into the broken mirror that stands in the corner.
>Your eyes travel down your body and stop and the area right below your stomach. Almost instinctly your hoof makes it’s way to your crotch and start feelinf away
>”Nothing”, you think to yourself.
>You turn your body side to side and try to check that way if there’s been any increase in size.
>All you manage to do is reestablish that, indeed, they’re just as small and flat as they’ve always been, and will be for the rest of your life.
>This ritual repeats itself a few more times before eventually that dark pit in your chest becomes too much for you.
>You make your way back to the bed, this time not bothering with the blanket. You simply plop yourself om top of everything and lay still, hoping that sleep will carry you to sleep soon enough.
>That feeling in your chest tells you that it probably won't.

>>27920492
The End

After starting to write it, I realised how weird it felt to have tits be such a casual thing. But, you know, ponies are pretty cool with nudity.

>>27920511
Dem feels. Seems like a good way to start an actual story to me; has room for improvement for both characters, potential for comedy, insecurities to work through, obvious drama, all culminating on a climactic [s]boning[/s] hug or something; hell, tvtropes may help with where to go.

Then again, I'm just some random schmuck on 4chan; what the hell do I know about writing?

>>27908610
Blasphemy!

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>>27920511
maaan, you could so make this into a full fledged story

...p-please do.

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>>27908610

>>27920986
>>27921927
>My writing being appreciated
>Is there a blue moon out tonight?

Thanks guys. The problem is that I don't enjoy writing longer and more extensive pieces. I end up loosing interest in my own story and can't commit to it.

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>>27917241
DELETE THIS

>>27917241
Morbid

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>>27917241

>>27922885
Never delete AtA's work

burbbump

>>27901355
>*ring-a-ling*
>“Hello and welcome to the Ponyville library! We just got the latest novel by A.K. Yearling in this morning, I bet you would like to borrow a copy!”
>“Who?”
>”A.K. Yearling? Known for her book series about Daring Do?”
>”Who?”
>”You don’t know Daring Do? The brave adventurer mare who travels the world to find ancient treasures and and saves Equestria from the clutches of the evil Ahuizotl and his henchmen?”
>”Who?!”
>”Ahuizotl! The ancient Aztack beast resembling cross between a dog and an ape!”
>”Who?!!”
>*ring-a-ling*
“Hey Twilight, did that new Daring Do book come in yet?”
>”Hello Anon. Yes, I got the delivery just this morning actually. I was actually asking the lady here if she’d like a copy, but it seems she knows about Daring Do...”
”Oh, hey Beady, I didn’t realize it was you.”
>”Who?”
“Yeah, you know I am. Twilight here go me hooked back when I first got to Equestria.”
>”Who?”
>”That would be m-”
“Yeah, sure, I can hook you up Beads. Hey Twi, two copies please.”
>”Uh… well, okay then. Here you go.”
“Thanks Twi”
>”Who?”

Haz we agreed that BIRB is important?

Because it is.

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>>27924846
BAVI 2bh

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>>27924907

Have a tweet and a peep!

>>27924838
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xeGE_5kSI0

>>27924929
I need to get an insulin pump one of these days.

Page 8? This will not stand!

Bamp

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>>27924929
>you will never raise your birdson Tweet with Peep

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would you bump the birb?

>>27926837
I would hump that rump with my bump

Did we ever get an uncensored version of that pic of peep surrounded by the bread?

>"Anon, why do you have a face mask?
"No reason. Why? Does it make this conversation... hawkward?"
>"... Did you just make a bad bird pun?"
"Are you not emused?"
>"Seriously Anon, cut it out."
"You can join in, after all toucan play this game."
>"As your friend, I'm just going to fly away now."
"Aww come on Peep, don't be such a chicken."
>*several punches to a tender area later*
>"Are you done Anon?"
"Considering you didn't... falcon... punch me, not just yet."
>"I'll go get a falcon to punch you at mach .5."
"..."
>"That's what I thought... bird-brain."

What happened to the Amber Eyes story? Also did like that story about the flat Great Tit birb... not like I like women with small breasts or anything.

>>27891967

>Be Anon.
>Be a somewhat drunken Anon, reeling at a celebration that's being held for Amber Eyes' safe return to the Flocks of the Red Sun Aerie. Well, both of you, really.
>Like most ponies, bird-ponies are ready to drop literally everything and party at the drop of a hat. You have no idea how anypony--gets anything done here, and really, you still don't even after over six years.
>But it works for them.
>They seem to have far fewer stress-related diseases than humans suffered through in your own world, and that alone seems to indicate that, whatever it is, they're on to something.
>They're better at putting down burdens than most human beings you've met. With exceptions.
>You don't call Twilight Spergle that just to be cute.
>Anyway...you once mentioned over 5,000 varieties of beverage, and right now, you figure that you've drank over half of them just in the hours since you started.
>The thing you're drinking now is ice-cold, malted, yeasty and slightly sweet, yet sour in a perfectly nice combination, and it's better than nearly anything else you've had since you got here.
>"One, two, three, DRINK!"

>>27930607
My gall bladder and work happened. Ever have to work through a gall bladder attack? Yeah, I'm sort of dead from the neck up. But I have to try to get something down. I NEED to get something down.

>the air is filled with music--there's singing, behind you, you can hear bird-pony musicians and they're actually jamming with some folks who came in from Canterlot, Ponyville and even from as far away as Manehattan.
>You're told that this is pretty much unprecedented. Well, it was, before...well, the Incident, which was...equally unprecedented.
>There's at least thirty different groups of musicians around here, and the music's ranging from electronica to something that sounds surprisingly Celtic, which is fairly similar to bird-pone traditional music
>And it's surprisingly more harmonious than you'd expected, all things told, but that could just be the alcohol talking.
>Luna's around here. Somewhere. You'd spoken with her earlier, right?.
>Oh, right. She's right there in front of you, chugging a mug of this...stuff.
>Bread. It's made from bread. The bird-ponies are bread fiends--it's not the best for them, really, but they prize it as one of the best foodstuffs. They don't waste ANY of it, and in addition to eating it, they brew the stuff into a variety of drinkables.
>Some of which are perfectly suitable to give to foals, flavored with fruits, nuts, berries and various herbs and combinations of all of the above. They're varying degrees of sweet and most of them are pretty refreshing.
>Then there's the variations like this, which basically have enough alcohol to simply eat the brain away. You'd been told this stuff is over 60%, and just to prove it, Amber had set some on fire.
>You're not entirely sure what happened after that, but it seemed to revolve around a discussion of what the human liver is capable of doing, versus that of a pony.
>Human eating habits led to the development of a liver capable of metabolizing nearly anything.

>>27931874
>>27931953
Glad to see you back my friend.

>>27931953

>meanwhile, pony livers were forced to value quantity over quality, since the foodstuffs they apparently evolved to eat were generally relatively nutritional poor, and their systems had to be able to wring every last bit of nutrition from what was available.
>And, indeed, the operative word was "anything,"
>You've had a few experiences with what they COULD tolerate that you couldn't. false hellebore salad, skunk cabbage casserole, opanax souffle, and a few other things.
>the reverse was also true. You could take acetominophen. Indeed, Sparkle had cracked the synthesis of that early on and you got a standing prescription of it, but the number of creatures who could use it safely here were limited mostly to dragons, primate-family sapients and you.
>The patent for that was a good, early source of income for you.
>But regardless, you vaguely remembered that Luna had been involved, somewhere, and had challenged both you and Amber to this game.
>You had no idea who was winning, but you seemed to be having too much fun to care right now.
>Beside you, Amber is drinking a mug of the same stuff you are. You're not sure where she's putting it, since she's matched you glass for glass, and you're...you're thinking this is the fifth mug of this you've had.
>She's not quite nonverbal, since she's singing loudly, noisily and off-key, interspersing it with random pigeon-pone coos and some story she was trying to tell involving a dragon and a tennis ball.
>"Okay....now, got to put..." Luna mumbles. She picks up a bottle of something clear, and it smells like sweet juniper. Slightly clumsily, she adds a couple of hefty shots to each one of your glasses, including hers.
>The original game had involved taking a sip and then replacing what you'd just drank with the stuff in that bottle.
>It had, of course, rapidly deteriorated into downing the mug, putting a couple of good fingers of the stuff in, and then putting more bird-pony in brew on top of that.

>>27931970

thank you :)

I need the part of Twilight fuming or trying to deal with the fact that she is, kind of a racist cunt and tries to build bridges.

>>27932035

>"That is...indeed quite a story," Luna slurrs.
>"They..they used to fill them with arcanite," Amber says. "The tennis balls. Or was that golf balls? Can't remember..."
"Verily," Luna agrees. "I cannot either." She sloshes the bottle around, then knocks it back and drinks the rest.
>"There is...there is not enough in this bottle." There's a flash and a pop and another bottle is there. "Ah. Now we are cooking with gas, as they say in this time. And as they said in MY time, bottoms up."
>She pours a couple of generous fingerfuls in each of your glasses, and Amber clumsily refills all your mugs with more brew on top of that.
>"One...two...three...DRINK!" she slurrs out. >You each down it again.
>You look at her. her tongue is lolling and she can't quite focus on anything. Clearly human supremacy is winning the day here, since you're as sharp as when you started.
>Now, if only the world would stop spinning around.
>Luna. Lunar Princess. Princess of the Moon. Sailor Moon.
>"We walked you know." you say. "On the moon."

>>27932126

>"I was there, for a thousand years," she slurs a little morosely. "In another life. I do not remember much of it. It is just as well..."
>"So what'd y' do there, all that time?" asks Amber, slurring her words but the writefag is not writing them down that way because he is really not patient enough to try to write down drunktalk as it really is, so let the reader imagine it. They're shitfaced, okay? Let's all move past this.
>"As I...I said," she says. "I do not remember much of it. I built sandcastles I think. It was another life really."
>You remember Twilight showing you the surface of the moon through a magically-enhanced telescope and seeing long, long chains of ordered bits marching across the landscape for hundreds of miles, and pyramid-shaped structures the size of cities.
>Apparently Luna was really bored.
>Not for the first time, it goes through your mind that you're actually getting falling-down drunk with a being who, in your own world, would probably be worshiped as a physical goddess.
>As usual, you let it go, because it's just too big, and if ponies can ignore the implications, you can too.
>"You say your people walked on the moon," Luna says. She takes a sip directly from the clear bottle of spirits and passes it to Amber, who chugs from it and then passes it to you. "How did you...how did you do this thing?"
>You think for a minute, as best as you can right now. "We built a tube, and filled it with kerosene, and put another smaller tube on top of that, and a tube on top of THAT one, and so on. And then we lit one end of it."
>"Basically like a giant firecracker," slurs Amber. "And then, they compressed their air in tanks and carried it with them."
>Luna looks up at the sky, looks at her moon. "For beings without magic, an amazing feat."
>You know she can move the moon here. You know that it's approximately the same size and mass of your world's own. You have not let yourself consider the implications of that.

>>27932204

>"My magic is not restricted, as it once was" she says. "Not anymore. I think...would you two like to walk on the moon? I think I can show you."
>And there's a flash.
>You and Amber both find you're standing on a vast, stony gray plain, and for a moment, it feels almost like you're in an elevator, falling. You feel lightheaded, and not from the effect of the strong drink
>You're still breathing. You look down, and Amber's eyes are as wide as saucers, her pupils pinpricks. "Oh...bright lady," she says. She looks down at the hard-packed ground underfoot, dusty and dry and very slightly powdery. Her wings flutter--she's surrounded by a thin, glowing envelope, which is probably the source of the cool, clean air you're breathing, but she can't get any lift.
>You pick her up and put her on your shoulders, and both of you stare and take in the new world around you.
>"So this is the moon, I guess," she says, looking around. "It's less...oh my...Anon? Do yourself a favor and turn around."
>there's a smell in your nostrils, of something like gunpowder, and the soft crunch of lunar soil under your shoes. In the distance, you low hills and mountains on the horizon, but as you slowly turn around, you finally see the huge structure behind you.
>It's bigger than anything you've ever seen, made of bricks and pillars and cubes of polished, multicolored glass the size of factories.
>the colors seem mostly toward the blue end of the spectrum, but with the brilliant sun behind it, it's resplendent with rainbows.
>It has to be at least a mile high, and miles on a side, and it goes up level after level after level.
>"It's beautiful, no?" you hear. Beside you, you see Luna now, drinking from her bottle of spirits. She passes it to you and Amber, and wordlessly, you each drink."I barely remember building it. It took so long..."
>there's another flash, and suddenly the three of you are standing on the top of it.

>>27930467

Oh jeez. I kek'd

>"Oh Celestia, this is...this is beautiful," breathes Amber.
>All you can do is agree with her.
>The top of the...castle? Citadel? Fairy City?--is absolutely covered in sculptures, some abstract, some simple shapes, some sculpted into dragons, ponies, and still stranger creatures, all in colored crystal and glass.
>the sun is shining through them, creating a wonderland of shifting, coruscating rainbow colors. And along one raised wall, you see a mural of a beautiful pony in ink-black and midnight blue, her dark wings stretching wide to cover an orb of cerulean blue and green--the world of Equestria.
>it's so beautiful that for a moment, both of you forget to breathe.
>"You...created all of this?" says Amber, directing her question to Luna, who has stood beside you silent the entire time.
>"Yes. No. It was..." she says, finally, staring at her hooves. "It was not truly me. Not entirely. I can only remember flashes of it, here and there. When I...when Nightmare Moon.possessed me, I was not completely in control of myself.
>"We would spend years at a time, building these edifices, and then, we would see that they were not perfect, not like the image we had created in both of our minds. And we would fly into a rage, and smash years of our work into dust. And then we would start again."
>Her magic protects you both. You stare at the sun, which should be blinding, and between your newly enhanced vision and the spells around you, you can see the colors in it.
>There are bits of colored crystal on the rooftop. You stop and pick up a couple of them, and pass one of the sparkling, intricately-shaped bits to Amber. Her eyes light up--like many actual birds, bird-ponies had a great love of shiny, glimmery things.
>You'd seen her tent--it was a wonderland of shiny things, ranging from pieces of brightly-colored foil she'd folded in origami-like shapes, to the tiny crystal-and-metal things her sister made, and literally everything she'd ever found.

>>27932401

Little pause here if anyone actually gives a shit about anything I've been doing here. I've got to go do some work-related things here.

>>27932410
We all give several shits, it's just... like 9 am over in Burgerclapistan so nobody's here right now.

>>27932410
Godspeed you magnificent bastard. Sorry about the health issue, and glad to hear you're at least somewhat ok. Artistic megastructures on the moon... heh, magnificent desolation, meet gorgeous architecture.

>>27932563
>Burgerclapistan
I want you to know I would give you a beer for that if I could. Or a hug. Or a hug and a beer. We can do it in any way you'd want for that.

>>27932401

>You wondered where she was going to put this.
>You start to take out your cell phone/hi-tech brick in order to start snapping pictures...;.and then you stop.
>This is beautiful. Perhaps the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. And it's a relic of your world, that you still feel the urge to take a picture, commemorate each and every wonder, every bit of the magnificence around you for eternity.
>But now, here...it feels just *wrong.*
>Luna is showing the two of you something she's shown almost nopony else. At least you assume so--you've never heard of any startup called "Luna's Lunar Guided Tours," so you assume it's something she doesn't feel comfortable showing around casually.
>Luna leads the two of you up a stairway on the other side of the great mural...and you see it. The grand hall.
>You revise your estimates of the sheer scale of this place. the edifice on the other side of the grand courtyard and garden, covered with topiary and trees of colored, cut crystal and glass, is probably at least as big as you'd initially estimated the size of the entire structure itself was.
>Wordlessly you walk, the three of you bouncing slightly in the low gravity, and enter the great, shining hall beyond. Amber's breath stops in her throat, and yours does too.
>Crystalline pillars, crystal fountains, the water somehow protected from the vacuum by presumably the same magic that protected you both. Statues of ponies. One, you recognize as Starswirl the bearded. Another of Celestia. Most of them you don't recognize.
Have you ever shown anypony--anyONE--else these?
>"No,' says luna softly. "Only my sister. I came here once after my...redemption, with her." You hear the pause in her voice.
>You wonder why she's showing you this.
>And at the far, far end of the hallway, you see it. It's at once the grandest sculpture in this magnificent place, and the most horrifying, and at last you understand why she didn't want others to see it.

>>27933347

>At the far end of the grand hall, you see a low dais, and a single great, crystalline throne, this one made of platinum and obsidian, and inlaid with bits of jasper, rubies and emeralds.
>(A distant, irrelevant part of your mind regurgitates the factoid that platinum-group metals were rare on Earth--or Equestria, presumably--but common on asteroids.)
>Behind the throne, you see...
>...a great, obsidian statue of Nightmare Moon, bigger than the Statue of Liberty, holding aloft the severed head of Princess Celestia in one hoof while the other rested on her headless corpse, rendered in exquisite, lifelike detail in crystal and precious metals.
>In comparison with the rest of this place, it was tiny, miniscule even. You look back behind you, and you wonder just how big this place REALLY was, and how you had managed to cross so much territory so fast. Had you really been walking that long?
Oh...my...
>your words are mirrored by Amber. You look at each other in shock.
>"We...I..spent a century laboring on this one piece," Luna said, her voice hushed and distant. "I showed this to my sister, on my release. When they had verified that I posed no more threat, that the Nightmare entity was truly gone from me.
>"I wanted her to understand that, regardless of what Nightmare Moon had done with me, it had only been possible with my permission. With my acquiescence. To use a metaphor that you might understand--Nightmare Moon might have been driving, but it was Princess Luna that unlocked the door, let her in and then gave her the keys.
>"All she said, though, when I showed her this, was to comment that it was a little too big to fit in the castle gallery. And then she hugged me, and said, 'I love you, sister.'"
>She drained the bottle of spirits you had been sharing, and then another appeared with a flash. She started to drink, then looked at the bottle, put the cap on and handed it to you.
>"I...don't think I need anymore of this."

>>27933446
>"Gimme that," Amber says. You pass her the bottle, and the pigeon-pony chugs down a good swallow. "If she doesn't need it, I think I do."
Luna...why are you showing this to us?
>She looks aside, and for a long time, she doesn't answer. You'd almost given up waiting, when she finally does.
>"I come here, sometimes, to remind myself of what I once was. What I had allowed myself to become, in my jealousy and pride. I come here to remind myself what comes of power unchecked when combined with madness."
>She gestures toward the great statue behind the throne. "As much as I might wish to, I cannot destroy this. My sister, she may have forgiven me for my sin and my fall, and the ponies I love, but I cannot allow myself the luxury to forget.
>"This place...it is beautiful, but nothing truly lives here. For all the centuries I dwelt here, I did so utterly alone. I built palaces to my own magnificence, that only I and I alone would ever be able to appreciate.
>"I created art that no one would ever enjoy, wrote words that no one would ever read. I was alone. The ultimate reward of power, corrupted and absolute."
>for a long time, there's only silence. Finally, you feel brave enough to break it.
You said...you don't remember very much. But you do remember her. Do you remember what she felt?
>She was silent again for several seconds.
>"Yes. I do. Very much so, in fact,.
Then what was it?
>"Rage, hatred...and loneliness." She turned around to face you. "I think...I think that we should leave."
>There is a flash, and you stumble as normal, equestria-standard gravity reasserts itself. You're surrounded by music again. and drunken antics and the smell of cooking and laughter.
>Luna hugs you and Amber both. "I should probably go," she says, strangely sober now. She smiles, a little sadly. "You two should enjoy the party."

>>27919286
People actually put time, money and effort into this.

>>27933617
Bravo you magnificent bastard. If no one else appreciates this, know I do. Don't let me fade into the collective anon. Rage, Rage against the dying of the light.

>>27933617
>As she leaves, you reflect that this is the LAST time you ever get Luna drunk again. >She's far too maudlin.
>It doesn't occur to you in your inebriated state that she never DID answer your question.
>Not quite.

>Be Luna.
>Be luna, two days before, awakening from a dream you couldn't remember only a few hours after you'd turned in for the morning, and stumbling from your bedroom onto your balcony in a state of shock only to find Celestia, the princess of the day, already there, along with one you recognize as an elder storykeeper of the Red Sun Aerie flock.
>"Do you see, sister?" she says. Effortlessly, you slip into arcane sight, and the world around you fades from normal light and into the glow of Power.
>You both see the multicolored rainbow flickers and sparkles of light and life around you, ponies and the other citizens of your realm moving about their day to day lives, and the steady, stately glow of the life of the trees, the plants and grasses, of the living pulse of Equestria itself.
>And far, far over eastern Canterlot, you see, like the light of a new dawn, two red and blue-hued bursts of light shining like novae. You'd sensed them even in your sleep. They were rapidly fading now, but even yet, they were outshining everything around them.
>"The press conference was today, wasn't it?" you ask Celestia. "Over there."
>The princess of the sun nods.
>the elderly pony beside them merely looks impassive. "The end of a great cycle is always a bit sticky. Interesting choice of midwives this time around, I think. Do you think they're up to it?"
>"When the time is right, they will be. Do you think WE are?" asks Celestia.
>You wonder the same thing.
>The elder snorts. "Time will tell. It always does."

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>>27933631

...the fuck did I just watch?

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>>27926914
Would you hump it on a bump
Would you bump it with a pump?
Would you do her on a boat?
Would you do her with a goat?

>Note: goats may not be comfortable with threesomes. Ask your nearest goat before suggesting one.

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postan a fave from the last thread.

>>27919286
>Troma has an official YouTube channel
Well, what do you know.

Also, this is a masterpiece.

I keep imagining there could be different races or clans of bird pones that share certain characteristics. That is, you could actually have clans of bird ponies that are more pigeonlike, or some from the tropics who are more like parrots or macaws or whatever.

Or an entire tribe from somewhere down south of the equator who are tiny little things, like kiwis. Or moas.

>>27934123
Troma Films is like 4chan's movie division.

>>27934184
I know. I've seen most of their old movies. Never seen this short before though.

>>27933631

Yeah. Troma, apparently.

The same guys who did Toxic Avenger, among others.

There will be more birb green.

Bampu

>>27934603
>>27934603
Das gut

Hey guise.
I'm just leaving a post to explain my inactivity (i.e. no sloppy inks).
I've recently had a loss in my family (natural causes; nothing dramatic or unusual). So to summarize: there's some mourning going on. Though I will day that, the way see it, a passing like this is something quite beautiful and to be admired.

In the words of Arnold himself:
"I'LL BE BAK"

End of blog post.
Birb is important.

>>27935904
tis fine mate, you dont need to explain yourself to us!

unlike writefags who are pretty much bound by their stories to come back to a thread, drawfags are just a very welcome surprise

draw for us or dont, it's your choice, but we'll always enjoy your beautiful lines

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>>27919286
GOD HELP US ALL
OO
D_D

H___H
E____E
L______L
P_______P

U_________U
S___________S

A______________A
L________________L
L_________________L

>>27932277
oh jeez, I check'd

Was there a pastebin for the Amber Eyes story?

>>27937735
http://pastebin.com/u/Speaker-to-Birds

Here it is.

>>27931953
It's all good. Was just worried you'd gone and died or something. No rush, don't wanna make things worse. Just glad you're doing alright.

Still ant this story to plop Twilight back into this so she can eat so much crow.

>>27940563
>look how calm she is as well

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>>27935904
>Birb is important

>>27941378
Goddamn that show was awesome.

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>>27941688
>No bird-pone themed brohoof yet
>THIS_IS_AN_OUTRAGE.jpg

We persevere nonetheless.

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>>27941778
Why would we need a birdpony themed brohoof and how would you even give that a birdpony theme.
If its just wings slapping against each other everyone would just see it as a pegasi thing.

>>27941920
Don't overthink it.

Rarity vs. Peacock pone. Can the world handle that much FABULOUS in one place?

>>27943054
>Rarity thinks he's a female the whole time.

>>27943085
"You would be absolutley STUNNING in one of my dresses!"
"I'M A STALLION YOU DUMB CUMSLUT."
>This is something the peacock deals with on a daily basis
>He fucking loathes this common misconception

>>27944344
Oh, the adventures he could have.

>He scores extra discounts from stallions flirting with him from behind the cash register.
>With some clever use of clothing, he can enter the mares dressing room and peep (not that mares walk around naked all the time)
>Hooks up with dykes all the time, but gets ditched when they realize he has a benis

>>27941920
Think European "kiss"

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>>27945926
"I've got some chips for you right here in my pants."

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>>27901355
Beady is best owl indeed

>>27946173
Her wings are attached to her neck. I want to see her fly with neck wings.

>>27946173
>>27946628
And owls can't move their eyes

>>27946628
>>27946765
Well fuck, I guess I'm a shit. Didn't notice until now.
>neck wings
is the world ready for that?

>>27946832
Nah, it's just a couple of missed details.
The rest is pretty good. I wanna play with her eartufts, they look soft.

>>27946904
Remember, owl ear tufts are just distractions. Their real ear holes are on the side of their head hidden by feathers.

>>27947160

I bet she can do the transformer owl thing, Then the ear tufts turn into evil devil-horns.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-GFZ4bdSiQ

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>>27945994

"For this, there'd better be trailmix there too."

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>>27941920
>Why would we need a birdpony themed brohoof

Why WOULDN'T you need a bird-pony themed brohoof?

> how would you even give that a birdpony theme

Obviously, you'd have birb pone giving each other brohoofs.

So it would be something like a brohoof, only with birb, which is totally different, and important, like birb is.

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Here is alicorn acting like quack birbs.

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>>27948440

Here is serious quack birb, with flower on head. Which is serious birb problem.

>>27948798
It has been brought to my attention that last quack birb is Fluttershy. But the Flutterbirb in question may still be deemed sufficiently birblike for BIRB.

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>>27948800

More Flutterquack.

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>>27948440
>>27948798
>>27948800
>>27948807

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>>27948850

Not a chance, pal.

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>>27948869

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>>27948873

do bird ponies cloacae?

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>>27949793
some, though not all

or what if they have horsepussy that gives eggs?

>>27949793
Cloacae are nasty. Also not very sensitive.

>>27949793
Nah, they're bird ponies not birds. They have horsepussy.

>>27950672
>"Damnit Anon, you're supposed to be intimidated!
>"Intimidated by what? Spitfire, you look like a giant ball of fluff."
>"Exactly! It works with Soarin!"
"I don't even want to know the context of that."

>>27950788
actually, they do that to attract mates, mate
hence the blush

gotta show anon that your chest fluff is very fluffy and superior to everyone else's.

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You scare the birb

>>27950871
whoops... i'm thinking of cats then...

>>27950926
"oh come on, it's not THAT big!"

>>27951001
Fact: While birds may love bread, bake a loaf large enough and they will come to fear it. The cause of this is unknown, but appears to be instinctual.

>>27951011
and now I just want anon to wear a giant loaf of bread as a hat and cause all the birdpones to fear and worship him as a god

>>27951059
i could imagine anyone doing that
>"anon, why do you have a giant loaf of bread on your-"
"-FEAR ME!"
>"-O-OKAY!"

>>27951490
He is the bringer of DOOM.
And yeast infections.

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>>27951490
that and having your own personal murder of ominous crows doesn't hurt

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>>27951603

poke

>>27951490
>Princess Celestia pays a visit to Ponyville to see why Twilight has stopped responding to her letters
>she notices a massive pile of what seems to be precious gems and jewelry mixed in with random bits of glass and tinfoil
>she notices the pile is being fed by a long progression of magpie ponies, and is at the feet of a throne which seems to have been made of a single, incredibly stale and crusty loaf of bread
>from twilight's caste, which has had every turret filled with wide-eyed owl pones, Anon struts forth wearing a hastily crafted set of royal regalia, and crowned with several baguettes taped together
>thousands of crow pones flock out of twilight's castle, throwing the scene into shadow
>Anon raises his hands to the sky as he shouts,
"ALL HAIL, KING OF BREAD"
>as he tosses out a random assortment of breadcrumbs, resulting in a mob of pigeon ponies devolving into a riot trying to eat the most crumbs

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why are birb so important?

>>27953341
kek

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>>27954023
C O O N
O O
O O
N N

>>27954031
I fear for the life of our pigeon pone friend... Tyrone there might get the idea that she may taste like fried chicken.

bumpu

>>27944344
>"How the hell do you deal with her Anon?"
"Well, considering she's the only seamstress in town that knows how to make clothes that fit a human, I'm a bit over a barrel."
>"Does she at least realize that I don't need a dress when I can do THIS?"
>*grand plumage reveal*
"Hey, watch who you flash or you'll get hit with public indecency or something."
>"Public whatnow?"

Bumpin'
Expect another short one-shot/prompt soon...

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>>27957727
aw yiss

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>>27954031
Good try. Use underscores or periods next time. Like this

L I K E . T H I S
I .I
K .K
E . . E
.
T. . . . . . T
H . . . . . . .H
I . . . . . . . . .I
S . . . . . . . . . S

>>27957727
In retrospect, it's on the edgier side. But hell, it's reference.

>Be Blackbird pone
>A july's moon shines over the rooftops tonight, and the town of Ponyville rests peacefully.
>As you're sitting by one of the chimneys and drink in the scene, a tune comes to your mind
>You start humming to yourself. Lowly at first, but as the melody takes shape your voice crows more confident.
>Now, while you're fully singing your wordless song, you make an effort not to sing too loud, lest you'd disturb the sleep of those in the houses around you.
>But despite your efforts, you're suddendly flung to the side and made to roll off of the rooftop you had been sitting on
>You fall to the ground, unable to catch the air under your wings, and hit the cold dirt chest first
>A moment later you're accompanied by a clay brick that strikes the ground a couple of meters away
>From somewhere nearby you can hear some three or four voices letting out a cheer
>You rush to get up on your hooves and to take off flying, but you're met with a sharp pain from your right side as you unfold your wings. Flight was not an option.
>"Quick, she fell on the other side of the house!", one of the voices yell, followed by the sound of hoofsteps coming towards your from around the corner.
>You turn around and begin fleeing for your life.
>Instinctively you try to unfold your wings once again and take off to safety, but you're met with the same sharp pain from the right one. The left one, however, manage to unfold fully.
>The sudden jolt of pain, combined with the lift from the extended wing, throws your off your balance and you fall to the ground once more.
>It's just like you to clumsily make such a grave mistake
>Before you know it, the hoofsteps catches up to you, and you find yourself surrounded by three strange ponies.

>"Well, cuck-a-doodle-doo, what have we here if not a filthy avisbred", one of them says.
>"Please, just leave me be...", you plead and try to get up on your hooves once more.

>>27958231
>But one of the ponies walks up to you, places their hoof on your withers and pushes you back down.
>"Shut it, birdbrain! Your pathetic cries for mercy are useless.", the first one scolds you and punches you strikes you over the head. Then once more.
>Next up, the last of the three ponies, the one not busy pinning you down, walks up to you and kicks you in the side, knocking you on your side.
>You curl up and try to cover yourself as much as you can, as the three ponies beat you senseless.
>Just a minute ago, your voice had been sharing your timid love for the night with the world around you. Now, it shrieks in suffering.
>Your eyes pour as these three strangers mauls you, and you're quite confident that this is the end of you.
>Repeatedly, they kick you in the back and the chest; most likely breaking every single one of your ribs.
>They pluck the feathers, one by one, from what just had been your good wing. Each one more painful than the last.
>Teeth grinds through the skin of you your ears.
>They drag your across the dirt by your mane and your and tail.
>And they stomp on your head and your shins with their hind legs.
>All the while, they call you by every possible slanderous word there is, and tops it of with laughter. They laugh at the joy of torturing you and seeing you in pain.
>Time stand still in this time of agony, and you're convinced days pass in the while your body and soul is being smashed to pieces.
>The last days of your life.
"Hello? Is there anybody here?"
>A voice calls in the distance, and the beating comes to an sudden end.
>"Shit! Run, guys, run!", one of the ponies exclaim.
>Those you thought were going to be your executioners takes off into the night, but not without giving you a final bucking to your croup.
>Meanwhile, a new set of steps is heard throght the soil that your head rests against. But they sound a bit... off.
"Hello? God damnit, I could swear I just heard someone. What even is this weird tow-HOLY DICKWADS!"

>>27958242
>You can feel the vibrations in the ground as the peculiar sounding set of steps comes rushing towards you.
”What the shit, what the shit, who the hell did this to you?! Hello?!”
>A friend?
>”H-help…”, you muster despite your busted lungs.
“Oh-my-god-it-talks. Fuck, uh, is there a veterinary or a hospital or something nearby?”
>There is. But you don’t have the energy nor the air to reply.
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, what do I do? Uh...”
>Pain bursts through your body once more as you feel yourself being picked up from the ground.
>You would scream once more, if only you had the capacity.
“Hang in the buddy, there must be someone nearby who can help”
>Who- or whatever is carrying takes off sprinting through the streets of Ponyville.
>This is the last thing you remember before your eyes go black...

>Beep. Beep. Beep.
>”Doctor, she’s waking up.”
>”Thank you, nurse. Would you be so kind to inform the um… her associate out in the waiting room.”

---

And this is where I'll leave it hanging.

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>>27958254
>And this is where I'll leave it hanging.
you motherfucker

>>27958231
>crows more confident
grows*
i wish i could say that pun was intended

>>27958275
yes me

>>27958254
>I'll leave it hanging
REEEEE
In all seriousness, no rush

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>>27929683
oh shit I forgot about that. Let me find it real quick

>be albatross
>"I don't know Anon, taking off is just too hard."
"Well, don't take this the wrong way, but have you considered jumping off a bridge?"
>"How could you even say that?"
"I'm serious, just find a tall bridge and pull up once you have enough speed to glide."
>"Huh... never thought jumping off a bridge would be a positive thing."
"I may want to work on how I suggest this to other albatrosses."

>>27929683
http://i.imgur.com/1bCUyg0.jpg

>>27959465
L-lewd anon

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>>27959418

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>>27961167

Do bird ponies take it upon themselves to shit all over your car right after you wash it?

>>27962662
well seeing how there arent any cars in equestria, i dont think so.

>>27962718
What if birb horse on Erf?

>>27962722
then they'd likely spend all their time in a house, instead of being outside to get shot and experimented on

>>27962662
"DAMNIT PEEP, I just washed this carriage!"
>"S-sorry Anon. I don't know what came over me. It was like this... urge... came over me."
"Well right now I have an urge to give you a piece of my mind."
>*sultry look* Maybe I can turn that into a different urge?"
"You can't bribe me with sex for everything damnit!"
>"Is this one of them?"
"..... God damnit."

So do birb pones have an aversion to cats or vice versa?

Page 9 bump. Keep birb alive!

>>27951059

>Be Peep.
>For reasons that escape you, Anon is now wearing a hat made to look like a gargantuan loaf of bread.
>And it is the single most terrifying, yet awe-inspiring thing you've ever seen.
>"So, what do you think of my idea for a Nightmare Night costume? I was thinking of going as a--"
"MY LIFE FOR YOU! MY LIFE FOR YOU!" you scream, bowing and scraping. "Your will is mine, o bread lord! COMMAND ME!"
>Anon looks uncertain. "Uh..." he says intelligently. You understand your Lord is all-knowing, but may take time to formulate just the perfect response. "I...uh..."
>"I will bring all of bird-ponies to your worship, o lord from whom all the 7 grains flow! EVEN THAT BITCHY TITBIRD WHO HANGS OUT IN THE PARK!"
>He looks suitably impressed. Your heart swells with pride. He will set you first among his priestesses!
>"Uhhhh..'kay?"
>"Command me!" you beg. "Command me!"
>"Yeah, so...how about a can of soda? I'll just be...over here. Yeah, that's the ticket. I'll be over here." He places himself near the kitchen door. Such wisdom, to locate near an exit. You will build his throne there if he wills it!
>With reverence, you open the door to the refrigerator and fetch the sacred can of ginger ale. You bring it to him with proper reverence, bowing low as you present it to Lord Anon.
>"All will bow, to my Bread Lord, He Who Walks Behind the Bakery! THIS WORLD WILL BE YOUR GRANARY!" you vow.
>"Uhh....'kay."

>>27965176
>be Anon.
>Be Anon, who Princess Twilight Sparkle is upset with for unwittingly founding a bird-pony religion because of your poor choice for Nightmare Night costume.
>How the hell were you supposed to know that they held bread in such high regard?
>Right now, said princess is at the door, hammering impatiently. "I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, ANONYMOUS! OPEN THE LUNA-DAMNED DOOR!"
>She COULD teleport in, but she's polite that way. Which is nice--oh, wait, there she is. Okay.
>"Hi, Twi," you say. "I was...uh, just coming out of the bathroom."
>"Don't 'hi, Twi' ME, buster," she snarls. She's holding a richly-robed Peep in her magic, along with a thick sheath of literature and several wooden signs.
>Peep smiles and waves sheepishly.
>"She's recruited half of the wild bird-pony population to distribute Anonymous Witness literature and pester ponies. The other half is building a giant golden temple to you ON MY FRONT LAWN!"
>"Twilight...okay, first, I didn't tell them to do that, and second, you DID tell them that they could use part of your front yard, remember?"
>"They said it was for an art project. NOT FOR A GIANT HOUSE OF WORSHIP! With penises, Anon! IT'S A CHURCH WITH GIANT STONE PENISES!"
>"Uh...those were supposed to be loaves of bread," says Peep.
>She presents one of the Anonymous Witnesses publications. How did they manage to throw together a newsletter so quickly?
>You look at the cover art, and while it DOES look like a loaf of bread, you could see how you could possibly mistake it for a penis if you were a little myopic.
>"The BAKERY: Announcing Anonymous' Kingdom." Beneath it were listings for articles like, "The Staling: What is it, and when will it come?" and "Baked Again: What Does it Mean?"
>"Uh...Twilight, have you ever had your vision checked?" you ask curiously.
>Twilight HMMPHS and disappears in a flash of light.

>>27965275
>Suddenly you hear ANOTHER knocking at your door.
>High Priestess Peep trailing along behind you, you cross your living room to the front door and open it.
>Lyra Heartstrings is sitting there in the rich brown-and -burgundy robes of the Anonymous Witnesses with a bag of literature and some cleaning products on the porch beside her.
>"Good morning, sir! Would you mind spending a few moments talking about our whole-grain lord and savior, Anony...oh. "
>Lyra looks at you curiously. "Wow, I didn't know this was your house," she says. "When did you move in here?"
>"Last year, remember? I hired you to play at my housewarming?"
>"Oh. Right. Small world, isn't it?" she laughs. "So, ummm...that makes this just a little bit awkward, doesn't it?"
>"Well...maybe just a little." You bend down. "I'm kind of curious, actually. How did you, like, get mixed up with...y'know..."
>OH! You mean why I converted?" she says. "Well, High Priestess Peep talked to me a few days ago, and at the time I was experiencing what you'd call a crisis of faith, I guess, and what she said made a lot of sense, so I joined up."
>She indicates the bag. "Also, we're doing multi-level marketing and she's my upline. I don't suppose you'd be interested in any cleaning products? They're all-natural!"
>"Thanks, but no," you say and start to close the door, but she stops you.
>"This may sound a little weird, but...can you tell me?" she says.
>"Tell you what?"
>She looks at you desperately and grabs your shoulders. "WHAT'S THE BAKERY LIKE? PLEASE TELL ME!"
>You rip yourself out of Lyra's grip and slam the door in her face. "PEEEEEEEEEEEP!"

>>27965361

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsLFDI3ftM4

>You stop.
>You stop, because there's a golden throne in your living room, where the recliner used to be. You got it from Rory's Recliners & Paper store in downtown Ponyville when you moved in.
>It was right across the street from Davenport's Quills & Sofas. Word was that Rory and Davenport absolutely hated each other.
>Most comfortable recliner you'd ever sat in though.
>You're pretty sure it wasn't a throne when you bought it and moved it in. Applejack had helped. Nice lady, you'd never had a friend who volunteered to help you move before. It was nice.
"Do you like it, o lord?" asks Peep. She's bowing to you in front of it. "I had it custom-made for you."
>"Uh...is that gold?"
>"24-karat, milord.'
>"And...emeralds?"
> "And jasper, chalcedony, sapphires and amethysts and-' You raise a hand before she can go any further and she obediently stops.
>"Ummm...okay, leaving aside any of the other 10,000 questions I have for the moment, HOW did you manage to afford...this?"
>"Temple tithings have been very generous lately," she says, looking just a bit smug.
>"Right. Didn't you build it like, two days ago? Stone penises included?"
>"Yesterday, milord. The faithful are VERY generous, praise be unto You," she says. "Also, our marketing division is most profitable. That was yesterday too." She looks even more smug, if that's even possible.
>You stare at your giant golden throne. It is, in fact, giant. You realize that the floor had to have been reinforced to hold it.
>Fuck it, drive on. You've got a throne now, you guess. You might as well sit on it.
>Not only does it recline, it's got a built-in back and neck massager, and it's self-heating.
>Mother of God.
"Did I do well, milord?" asks Peep, sitting at your feet beside you.
>What else can you say at this point but "yes?"

This became retarded...

>Might as well go with this, for as long as it lasts.
>You remember the time you introduced the Sham-WOW to Equestria. It sold well for a little while, but the novelty eventually faded.
>the Turnip-Twaddler fared much worse.
>You gesture, and Peep flutters up on the arm of your new recliner-throne-thing. Gold recliner-throne. "So, uh...the bathroom?"
>"Solid-gold bidet and self-heating toilet seat." she claps her hooves proudly. "Also, there's a Bengal tiger in your bedroom. Tame."
>"Oh. Albino?
>"Of course."
>"Right. Of course it would be."
>She pulls a manilla folder out of a pocket of her robe and hands it to you.
>You look at it--apparently it's a temple financial statement for the quarter. Which is interesting, because as far as you knew, the quarter is like three days old.
>You stare. "That's...a lot of zeroes."
>Peep smiles. "ALL the zeroes, milord!"
>"So, uh...there's a lot of bird-ponies, I take it."
>"You should see what your new carriage looks like after I had it repainted!"
>"Uh...I didn't have a new carriage."
>She preens, hops up from the throne arm, flutters into the kitchen, and brings you back a hard lemonade on a silver tray.
>Maybe having your own religion isn't so bad after all.

>>27965521

And it took over 1300 posts to get there, too. Meanwhile, other non-bird-pone threads hit monumental levels of retardation in under 100 posts.

They're much more efficiently retarded than we are.

>>27958254

Mother of God. This is apparently my punishment for the hanging greens I've got, too.

I hope you come back to finish this. Or add to it. I really do.

>>27958231

Edgy hell--I could get a nice close shave with this.

Noice.

I wrote this. And for some reason, I'm not ashamed.

>>27905461

>Be Seagull Pony
>Marefriend to Anon.
>Tonight you volunteered to prepare supper! Whee!
>You've spent all afternoon gathering ingredients.
>You're in the kitchen. "So what's on the menu tonight?" he asks.
>He's so adorable.
"A nice seafood bouillabaisse! It's an old family recipe my mother passed down to us."
>He's thoughtfully prepared the table, including bread, salads and a nice wine. Such a considerate coltfriend!
>You lean over his plate. "Uh, honey, what are you OH HOLY HELL--"
>BLAAAAAAH.
>**CRASH**
>You stand there at the kitchen table listening to Anon's screams retreating into the night while staring through the destroyed kitchen window.
>Your eyes well up with tears.
>"I'M SORRY! I'll bring beef stew next time!' you call after him.