Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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>be Anon
>be part of a famous rock band with ponko
>be the most desired male of equestria

>>27765829
>be part of the rock herd

>>27765766
>anon is asked to be the king of equestria
> he says ok without a heartbeat
>princeses block hi from doing anything because kings have no power in rgre
>anon is furious
>something happens
im trying my hardest to keep this place alive dammit.

>>27765829
That twisted smile tho.

>>27765873
that's a twisted smile? no wonder people leave when i smile.

>>27765850
>He rages so hard for so long, but one day just stops.
>Anon falls to dark powers.
>Nightmare-creature, alicorn amulet, something like those.
>He doesn't immediately begin acting like a fucking lunatic.
>He acts like nothing is wrong
>and that he got over it.
>Secretly manipulating Equestria from the shadows.
>Only Luna realizes something is wrong.
>The mane six refuse to attack him without proof.
>Celestia just thinks Luna is jealous of her.

>It's all in Luna's head.
>Anon genuinely did get over it.
>At least, that's what he leads her to believe.

>>27765883
Its the unholy gleam of joy in the eyes that give it away

>>27765940
i have prayed to satin before, though i was to young to understand what that meant.

>>27765951
I thought I was the only one who worshiped fabrics.

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>>27765954
Why not.

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>>27765904
>crusader kings ii levels of power struggles
>mfw

>>27765954
god fucking dammit this is 5th time iv'e spelled satan wrong in a conversation over the internet. maybe i shouldn't stay awake until 10:00 in the morning.

Sexy wrestler Anon when?

>You laugh at the crowd of mares gathered around the squared circle.
"Is this the best they can offer against the Masked Unknown!?"
>You are Ano--The Masked Unknown.
>The sexiest masked wrestling technician and next biggest thing in the niche of colt wrestling.
>And these stallions are no match for your skills.
>Not that they aren't up to speed with training, but because they had to be fed to the greatest colt wrestler of all time.
>You, of course.
>After all, you do know four more holds than that Jericolt stallion, making the number of holds a total of 1008.
>The mares love it when two sweaty stallions rub up against each other, after all.
"Send in the next one! I'll make him tap!"
>You blow a kiss to the mares, eliciting a chorus of boos and a stray catcall.
>"You suck!"
>"Push Sami Mayn!"
>"Herd me, Masked Unknown!"
>You bask in the heat and taunt the crowd.
"Is there any stallion here who can match up to my technical prowess?"
>Your gloating ceases as the theme song of AJ Smiles fills the stadium.
>The mares cheer and the smell of musk grows more apparent.
>AJ Smiles is a popular face and your current rival as both the two biggest prodigies.
>He also is none other than Cheese Sandwich wearing provocative wrestling attire.
>He gallops to the ring and immediately puts you into a hold.
>"Move your hips closer."
>You do as instructed and the cheers from the mares rise in volume.
>The leers from the mares only tell you that you're putting on a good show for them.
>You quickly counter him and grind your hips close to him.
>A mare in the audience audibly orgasmed in place.
>Cheese/AJ counters just as fast as you did and puts you into a submission hold.
"Remove my pants."
>You quickly whisper to him.
>After a minute of struggling, you tap.
>The mares erupt in cheers as Cheese/AJ starts grabbing at your tights.
>He removes your pants, revealing your white underwear.
>The smell of musk fills the stadium.

1st time, pls no bully

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>>27765984
Very good first time, please continue.

>>27765999
o-ok I didn't plan for a continuation though. I'll whip up something in a bit.

>>27766051
Take your time.

>>27765984
>AJ waves around your pants as you exaggeratedly kneel, trying to hide your shame.
>"I won, Masked Unknown. I even shamed you, removing your pants in front of such a wild audience here in Fillydelphia."
>He looks at the crowd as they cheer for the name drop.
>"I beat you, Masked Unknown. Now..."
>AJ saunters over to your kneeling form and looks at you, straight in the eyes.
>"...I want you to stop bullying these colts. Pick on someone your own skill."
>As the crowd cheers for him, you quickly grab hold of him and remove his wrestling tights and showing his dark, lacy underwear.
>The crowd bursts into a mixture of boos, cheers, and moans.
>AJ's hooves flail about as he covers himself, blushing furiously.
>You grab the mic and look towards the large screen and entrance ramp.
"I'm not done yet, Smiles. Big Red, come over here!"
>A large stallion comes out from behind the entrance area and briskly moves towards the ring.
"I'm sure you know this fine specimen of a stallion, right, AJ?"
>The crowd chants "Big Red" and several mares gush over his size.
>Big Red is of course, Big Mac, wearing what would be race horse gear and rope.
>He is known as an unstoppable powerhouse, overpowering stallions and tying them up with his signature rope then showing them off to the mares.
>The crowd chants "Tie him up!" and you quickly step out of the ring.
>You walk around near the mares, just near enough that they could almost touch you.
"So, who would be the lucky mare to get to grope this colt?"
>You quickly point out an audience implant and lead her over to the ring, swaying your hips just slightly in front of her.
>"Big Red, tie him up!"
>The crowd goes wild and the plant rubs her hooves together.
>AJ lies helpless, tied up against his will with his groin exposed.
>You move to the plant, your hips barely grazing her withers.
"My lovely mare--hey, eyes up here! Here's AJ, grope hi--"
2/?
I apologize for the lack of quality of my work.

>>27766129
>bad
nigga this is as golden as the sunrise here

>>27766171
It's about as coherent as actual WWE booking; I wouldn't consider it that good.
>>27766129
>Big Red attacks you and ties you up in the same way as AJ.
>The crowd cannot contain their horniness and the musk starts to build again.
>The plant takes a step back, but still keeps her eyes on the goods.
>Big Red frees AJ from the ropes and sides with him, their flanks nearly touching.
>"I'm gonna enjoy this, Masked Unknown."
>AJ straddles you at your abdomen and winks at the crowd.
>He teases a strip and the lights in the stadium immediately go dark, leaving everyone blinded.

>"Hey, Anon. We both did really well tonight, didn't we?"
>AJ Smiles, now Cheese Sandwich, jogs over to you.
"Yeah, Cheese, I didn't expect this level of craziness, even for our standards."
>You both recently changed to a more casual set of clothing and left the stadium.
>You still wore your mask, as a tradition.
>Immediately as you two left, mares surround you and crowd you two.
>A mare in front is holding a picture of you putting Cheese in a very provocative submission hold.
>One mare is trying to grab at your shirt.
>Another is shouting trying to get your attention!
>"H-Hey, you're A-AJ Smiles and the Masked Unknown, right? C-Can I have an autograph?"
>"Anonymous, I wanna ask you something!"
>"Unknown, herd me!"
>You glance at Cheese, who is in a problem of his own.
>You try to attend to the mares as they try to grab your attention and your body.
>As you get through the crowd, you spy out a single mare who seems to be not as eager as the other mares crowding you.
>Cheese also notices this and helps you clear the crowd.
>"Sorry girls, but there's something important we both need to attend to!"
>The mares grumble in disappointment as they clear.
>The pony that you saw earlier walked closer to you two.
>Cheese gives you a side glance and whispers to you.
>"She's a scout, right?"
>The mare interrupts Cheese with a nod.
>"Yes, I'm here to invite you two to my mixed wrestling promotion."
3/3

>>27766227
I'll break here for a moment. If my writing ain't that good, tell me so I can seppuku on the inside. Y'all can bump with your stuff.

Pastebin:
http://pastebin.com/y4nLFngq

>>27765982
>Anon has bastard children out of herdlock
>Acknowledges them and immediately sells them off to elderly ponies in power
>Trains one to be his new spymaster
>Makes sure one of them gets an STD and uses her as biological weapon by prostituting her to his enemies

>>27765984
10/10 Please continue, Anon. All we really ask for is that you capitalize your words and you don't be unnecessarily edgy. You're doing very well with both of those.

>>27766227
Stay with us forever.

>>27766399
*Him, since this is rgre

>>27766411
>>27766427
Posting from phone. You guys have an idea for the name of the promotion that I'll be writing Anon and Cheese into? I've got nothing coming to my mind right now.

>>27766548
Superslam

>>27766548
Equestria Championship Wrasslin'
or E! C! W!

>>27766587
E! C! DUB! Probably going to use this. Update when: when work doesn't want to interfere with my life. Updated randomly.

>>27766548
>Saddleslam
>Thunderbulge
>some pun involving sheaths, testicles, and/or sweaty colts

>>27766399

Who would be the mothers of Anon's bastard children?

>>27765829
>tfw Limestone in RGRE would just be a heartless husband beater with no dere personality at all

>>27766845
Chrysalis

>>27766845
>Single fathers in RGRE are avoided b/c mares are worried that ponies will think they're "cucked" for giving a child a mother

>>27766227
Very interesting concept.

I couldn't help but notice one issue, though.

You named one of the 'characters' AJ. There is already a pony referred to as AJ. This is potentially problematic.

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"Come on, get on up 'ere. We ain't got all day."
>You let out a quiet grunt as Rainbow continued to fiddle with that darned back door
>It made no darn sense WHY the hay Anon had made the doorknob so bucking high that you and ol' Rainbow here had to stack on each other to get at the dumb thing...
>Then again, knowing Anon, it was probably intentional
"Yer killin' my back Dash."
>"Just give me a second for pete's sake!"
"I've been givin' ya more an' a second, Rainbow!"
>"It's not that bucking easy to pick a lock, Applejack!"
"If yer havin' so much trouble you get on the bottom an' let me--"
Click!
>You grunted again as, with a happy sound escaping her throat, Rainbow leapt off you back
>"Hah! I KNEW I could do it," the pegasus said, staring at you with a smug smile
"Ya sure did somethin' alright," you grumbled, rubbing your back
>The bucking feather brain nearly ripped the fur off you back jumping all willy-nilly like that...
>Rubbing her hooves together, Rainbow, with a flap of her wings, managed to grab ahold of the doorknob
>Slowly, she twisted it until you could hear a click
>You and the girls were in one heck of a pickle
>The stallions had plum lost their minds, taking over Anon's gym and wrecking the place like a bunch of crazy ponies
>And taking Shy like that...
>If they were mares you'd have very little reservations of going in there and introducing them all to Mr. Hoofy and ol' Stomper but granny had beaten it into your head to NEVER lay your hooves on a stallion
>Even though a good beating would straighten these buckers out...
>Rainbow, like the rest of you, weren't gonna go in there and start beating on colts because she was raised better
>But that didn't mean she was gonna just sit on her flank and wait for those big colts to do Celestia knows what to Shy
>So, being the sis that she was, Rainbow managed to talk you into sneaking into the back of Anon's gym for a rescue mission

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Work is hard when it's hot as hell outside. Have some of the best rgre kid for now

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>>27767124
>The two of you steeled yourselves as Rainbow opened the door
>If there were any colts waiting for you the jig would be up
>You'd have to make your get away and getting Shy back would be a heck of a lot harder...
>Thankfully there weren't any stallions waiting for you on the other side
>Sighing in relief, Rainbow poked her head through the door and looked around
>"Alright, the coast is clear," she said, waving you forward with a wing. "Come on, let's go."
>As she darted inside you couldn't help but sigh to yourself
>While Rainbow was a good sis wanting to leap into action to save Fluttershy you didn't think that she had thought this through
>There were a heck of a lot of stallions in this gym and neither of you rightly knew where they were hiding Fluttershy
>And you didn't have any idea how the hay you'd get her out of here without kicking up a hornets nest
>...
>For Celestia's sake the two of you didn't even know that they'd be a back door to this big ol' gym until you found the thing!
>...
>Still, she managed to talk you into helping her
>You didn't know what that said about you but buck it
>You were already back here
>The two of you were gonna save Shy or you were gonna get booped trying!
>...
>You had a bucking bad feeling about this...
"I'ah don't think this is gonna work."
>"What are you talking about? The hard part's already done!"
"No, the hard part's gonna be--"
>"Shush! Do you WANT them to bucking hear us?!"
>It was oddly quiet as the two crept through the gym
>You thought you'd be hearing stallions running their mouths (like they always did when they were hot under the collar) or at least stomping around but there was nothing
>Nopony other than the two of you, at least as far as you could tell, was around
>Sure, you were in the far back of this big ol' building but you figured that the stallions would at least be keeping an eye on all of the exits so nopony would get it
>...
>Maybe you were just giving them too much credit?

L
AND
P

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>>27767167
>They WERE just stallions...
>For all you knew they were all just at the front of the gym huffing and hollering...
>Your ears perked up as Rainbow led you into the gym proper
>Just like the rest of the building it was empty
>There wasn't a stallion in sight...
>You froze near one of them cage thingy's as Rainbow continued forward
>Though she was being cautious, she was still standing up nice and tall
>She wasn't sneaking, she wasn't looking around, and she wasn't ready to hide
>...
>Your ears perked up
>Was that--
>Oh buck!
"RAINBOW! WE GOTTA--"
>"AURGH!"
>Before you could finish your sentence, something slammed into your side, knocking you off your hooves
>You grunted as you slammed into another metal hickey, clutching your chest as the wind was knocked out of you
>Grunting again, you closed your eyes as you slid to the ground
>Ow, ow, ow...
>Bucking, bucking, BUCK...
>"Applejack! You get off her you bucking--sonofahorsefeather!"
>Your hat slowly slipped off your head as you cracked an eye open
>There were half a dozen stallions in the room now
>Six of them were dragging Rainbow, who had taken to the air, back to the ground as she swore and snarled and flapped their wings
>The other six were slowly making their way toward you, elastic exercise bands in hoof
>...
>Horse apples...
>You should have known that they'd have a trap waiting for you...
>You sighed as they grew near, reaching down to pick up your hat
>Dusting the thing off, you carefully put it back on your head as Thunderlane, with a smile that you didn't much care for on his face, stretched his band
>This is not your fetish
> Not one little bit

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I would like to see green where the ponies are confused what gender the pyro from tf2 is so they don't know how to treat him/her/it.

>Perfumes for colts and body sprays for mares all smell disgusting to Anon
>They all smell like different variations and combinations of musk, piss, and that smell that fills the air during spring when all the decomposing plant matter is exposed to open air
>Thus, no deodorant for Anon

The story could go two ways.
>Anon avoid ponies b/c of their disgusting answer to Old Spice
or
>Anon avoids dating b/c he can't stand to wear their body sprays and he's worried he'll stink w/o deodorant

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>>27766899

>Don't talk to me or my husband's daughter ever again

>>27767191
please beat the shit out of those stallions, LAP. you're getting me all riled up

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>>27767191
>The silence was tense as you, Pinkie and the captains of the Night and Day guard stared at Rarity and Anon
>You didn't know WHY it was tense
>Anon wasn't freaking out like you thought he would...
>Well, he still looked angry, but that was probably more from what was going on with his gym than anything
>The captains looked almost calm as they milled over what Rarity had just... discussed with you
>Pinkie was just smiling like she always did
>...
>Rarity might have looked a little nervous
>As she SHOULD...
>...
>But what about you?
>How the heck do you feel about it?
>Your brow furrowed slightly as you let the silence drag on
>Maybe somepony would suggest something else...
>Or maybe something else would happen...
>Princess Luna could pop in right beside you while you were standing there ready to put all of the stallions asleep with a spell
>Now THERE was a princess
>You didn't care what anypony said about her, Luna had a pretty good head on her withers
>It almost makes you wonder why you just didn't ask her for help
>...
>Nopony's going to say anything huh?
>They were going to make you address the elephant in the room?
>Really?
>...
>Alrighty then...
>Brow furrowing just a hair more, you cleared your throat
"...Rarity, could you run that by me again please?" you asked the fashionista. "I don't think I... GOT all of it the first time."
>Rarity's eyes darted around your little group nervously
>Her gaze eventually settled on Anonymous

>>27767214
Delete this.

>>27767238

Are you mad your waifu is a cuck?

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>>27767235
>The human was staring down at her with his arms crossed
>The anger on his face as settled into a look of...
>Resignation?
>Hopelessness?
>Did... did he have to use the little colts room?
>Your big brother almost always had that look on his face when he needed to use the bathroom...
>Sighing, he nodded at the mare, gesturing for her to speak
>Her lips twitched upward as her look became grateful
>Looking away from him she cleared her throat before starting
>"Well, Twilight dear, the stallions in that gym seem to hold all mares in a rather... NEGATIVE light."
>No shit
>"They think that we're boarish, disgusting, creatures that treat stallions like nothing more than cooks and cocks."
>THAT got everypony blushing and Pinkie giggling
>"When I was... calming Anonymous here I noticed that the stallions didn't take it too kindly to me or my actions. A few even leapt out of the gym to try to stop me."
>Rarity once again looked at Anonymous, who encouraged her with a flick of his wrist
>"And that got me thinking... If it is too dangerous for us to GO into the gym then why don't we just have the stallions COME out."
>The statement hung in the air as you all looked at each other
>You all knew what she meant
>You knew what she was trying to get at without saying it out loud
>You--
>"So you wanna get all of those meanies out by making them really, really, REALLY mad?" Pinkie suddenly piped up
>Your eyes widened
>Pinkie...
>Rarity nodded
>"Yes, that's what I had in mind."
>"And you wanna use Nonny here to help get them mad?"
>Pinkie wat r u doin?
>"T-That's what I had in mind, Pinkie."

>>27767196
Hello child. Go to bed.

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>>27767282
>"And since those big old meanies don't like when mares boss stallions around you wanna boss Nonny around to make them come out?"
>Pinkie sta-- Oh...
>Actually, that's not even--
>"Sexually I mean. You wanna boss Nonny here around by doing stuff with his willy."
>The Night captain snorted as both you and Rarity squirmed in embarrassment
>Bucking Pinkie Pie...
>"She wasn't using those exact words when she explained it to me but pretty much, Pank," Anon grumbled
>"I-It's just to get the stallions outside s-so that the guards can restrain them!" Rarity assured, her face red and her eyes wide. "And there needn't be anything sexual done, we just need to-- ohmygoodness. Anonymous, You know I'd NEVER suggest such a thin--"
>Anon shushed the fashionista
>His eyes snapped up toward his gym
>"I always wanted to open up a gym," he said, his voice monotone. "Ever since I was a little kid. I wanted a place where people could go to get away from it all and improve themselves."
>Pain flashed through his eyes
>"I never wanted something like this to happen. I didn't want to start some revolution by getting a few people in shape so that they could be more comfortable with themselves."
>Though he was still as towering as ever, for a moment Anon seemed to shrink as his shoulders sagged
>"I wanted to churn out gym rats, not... whatever the fuck those stallions are..."
>The blush vanished from your face as you looked at the giant, muscle-bound stallion in pity
>You knew that Anon wasn't a bad guy
>He might have been an oddball, but you know that he never wanted anything like this to happen
>...
>You couldn't even imagine what he was going through
>After getting his gym and getting all of these ponies to come and... THIS happens...
>Hostages, broken windows, angry mares and furious stallions...
>Pinkie, her smile gone, walked over to the human
>"Hey now, mister. None of this is your fault," she insisted, getting up onto her back legs and wrapping her hooves around him in a hug

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>>27767301
>It wasn't much of a hug, Pinkie only came up to Anon's belly button even standing up so she was just hugging his legs, but you could tell that Anon appreciated it
>The pain on his face subsided just a bit as he patted Pinkie on the head
>He said nothing, but just a hint of a smile came to his face
>You all, even the captains, found yourselves smiling as well
>"I don't care what you guys have to do or what I have to do. I just want all of them out of my gym without them hurting anyone," the human continued, still looking down at Pinkie
>"Well, that's very brave of you, Anonymous, dear," Rarity said, looking over to you
"If you're alright with it I'm sure we can figure out a couple of things to do to get those stallions out of there," you said, looking at the captains
>The mares saluted
>"If you can get them out we can wrangle them up," one said
>The other nodded
>"We won't fail you, ma'am."
>Nodding yourself, you looked up at Anon
"And we'll make sure not to do anything that you're uncomfortable, Anon," you told him, turning around so you could look at the other girls. "Now, Rainbow, Applejack, I'm going to need the two of you--"
>...
>Where the heck did those two fillies go?

>>27767318
Alright, I'm done

>>27767247
I'm mad Nyx a shit

>Anon turns gym mare-exclusive
>Addresses angry colts; tells them that they clearly can't be trusted with responsibility
>Free memberships for the Mane 6 for their help in getting the situation under control
>All the colts involved are sued for the price of repairing the gym
>"Muh Sandy Tree" makes ponies even less likely to take colts seriously; paints colts in an extremely poor light
>Gender roles halt in place and don't budge for another 20 years
>Meanwhile, colts continue to be foals

>>27767318
Pinkie Pie is best pony, gym horses need to get slapped hard. Just let Anon choke Thunderlane out or something.

"What do you mean, I can't work here?"
>Mayor Mare sighs and gently places your resume back onto the desk - unopened and unread.
>"Mr. Anonymous, I - Oh, wait a minute."
>Mayor Mare gets up from her desk and walks to her office door, which she opens.
>Her personal assistant is within plain sight, and you notice that she's watching you out of the corner of her eye.
>With a quick nod, the mayor returns to her desk.
>"Mr. Anonymous, I have held this position for almost thirty years. I've seen applicants come and go; hundreds of them applying for a few dozen jobs. Unlike some, I hired based on merit and abilities. In all of my thirty years, stallions have performed the worst."
>Mayor Mare unlocks a drawer and pulls out a stack of parchment.
>They're old and yellowed near the bottom, edges curling and cracking; white and smooth near the top.
>She spreads them out across her desk and you can now see that they're reports.
>She gestures to one; it's beginning to yellow.
>"Steel Heart - Male - co workers reported him spending much of his time reading and writing personal letters."
>She points to another; white and crisp this time.
>"Tenderears - Male - flirted with female co workers. Lied to his supervisor to get said female co worker fired when she did not reciprocate."

Clearly the best way to get the colts and is to have a mare with lots of power "abuse" anon. Since Celestia is unfortunately indisposed, clearly Luna needs to be called to come sexually dominate Anon in a way that seems extreme to ponies but is gentle by human standards.

>>27767552
>Another file is thrust in front of you. It's beginning to age, but it's still relatively new.
>"Maple Pumpkins - Male - thought that I wasn't paying him as much as his co workers and purposefully recorded inaccurate and poor-quality messages for me."
>She adjusts her glasses and directs her steely gaze at you.
>"Mister Pumpkins' behaviour resulted in countless missed appointments with important government ponies from Canterlot and Manehatten. He's the reason why it's so damn hard to get anything approved in Ponyville."
>She pushes the papers away and puts her head in her hooves.
>"That stupid water fountain has been broken for almost five years and Canterlot's Minister of Finances STILL won't get back to me."
>The mayor sighs and begins to collect her reports, stacking them neatly and tucking them back into her desk.
>"I'm sorry, Anonymous, but colts really can't be trusted in important positions."
>You can't think of anything to say, so you stand up and turn to leave.
>"Oh, and Anonymous?"
>You stop and turn around.
>"My personal assistant has been recording this entire conversation on an audio-capturing crystal. If you start spreading rumours about sexual assault around town, I will take you to court and present this recording."
>Today was an unemployment day.

>>27767513
>Feeds steroids to underage brother
He going to jail

>>27767556
Seriously, what idiot would stay in a place like this? Just fuck off to somewhere else instead of taking it like a faggot.

>>27767556
Make more please

>>27767641
What if there's nowhere else to go?
What if the whole world is like this?

>>27767672
She didn't even open his resume and dismissed him on the basis of being a colt. That's enough for a sexism trial at the very least. She says she hires on merit, but didn't even bother checking his merits. Hypocrisy and sexism, both recorded by her secretary. If Equestria had even a half decent legal system, she's going to be in hot water if he pursues anything.

>>27767552
>>"Mr. Anonymous, I - Oh, wait a minute."
>>Mayor Mare gets up from her desk and walks to her office door, which she opens.
4 lines in and you made it hurt anon. It's always nicer when the stories use made up bullshit sexism instead of real life today sexism. I don't even blame the mayor. I bet she never would have thought of behaving like this before those stallions ruined her.

>Be Mayor Mare
>You look across at the stallion in your bed with a faint scowl of disgust
>He's the fifth one this week
>They became so much easier to lure back home once you learned to stop caring
>And why should you care?
>It's not like they cared about you
>They only seem to care about two things; money and power
>That's why they always behave the way they do
>That's why you always get sneers of derision for simply holding doors open for stallions like your pa taught you to
>Weakness disgusts them, they only care for about strong
>But no matter how many more 'conquests' you make now you would trade it back in a heartbeat if it meant the world was like you thought it was before
>You would have happily had your dry spell last 'til years after your mayoral candidacy was over
>If only there was some worthwhile stallion to meet at the end of it
>Somepony who wouldn't lie
>Somepony who wouldn't cheat
>Somepony you could be weak in front of
>Somepony who could understand loyalty
>Somepony you could trust
>... you're finding it harder and harder to trust these days

Those poor guys that let themselves lose faith in women because of the really shitty ones in their number just make me sad.

Was it RGRE that had the Twilight summoning Anon because he's really her father or was it another thread. I haven't seen that story posted in a while and was wondering about it.

>>27767724
You were faster than me. That Anon can add to the top that she compared him to the males of totally different species (these three sounds like ponies by their names, and she herself said: "**stallions** have performed the worst")

>>27767724
>If Equestria had even a half decent legal system
>Equestria
>half decent legal system
You say the funniest things, shuks

>>27767767
It was here, and we also want more of it.

>>27767724
>Audio recording
>No verbal indication that she didn't look through his resume
>Anon takes her to court for sexism
>"Your honour, I was granted the power to hire those I felt would be the best fit for a position I needed filling. I am not trying to make a political statement; I am making decisions based off of my personal observations of candidates and employees during my 30 year reign."

>>27767777
Well, considering she didn't say ANYTHING about him, and instead only refered to older hires, I'd say theres grounds to be suspicious at least. I'm assuming this is an interview, and if I went into one and the interviewer ignored me and bitched about previous guys, I'd walk out of there without another word, or say "That's fine and dandy, but what does it have to do with me?"

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>>27767724
>If Equestria had even a half decent legal system

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>>27767897
If.

>>27767897
>>27767776
You know I know fuck all about the show, right? I've maybe seen half of season 1 and that was it.

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>>27767984
Equestria

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>>27767998
>Implying we have a show

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>>27767897
>>27767984
wait that's not right.
men get harsher punishments than women for the same crime.
In RGRE Lady tirek would be the one yelling about how Sombra is getting off easy.

>>27767984
I find this hotter than I should.

>>27768024
https://www.law.umich.edu/newsandinfo/features/Pages/starr_gender_disparities.aspx

son of a bitch.

>>27767984
I'd let her do things with my magic wand....

I feel so dirty for posting that.

>>27767758
Your implying the majority isn't like this, especially when they have every incentive to do so.

>>27767777
At this point Anon should focus on telling as many people as possible what happened. When the courts fail you, appeal to the masses.

>Mayor Mare hates stallions.
>Claims to hire on merit but won't even look at resumes.
>Won't hire males period.

>"Name ANY of the information in my resume, right now."
>"Is it because I'm not a pony?"
>"Which is it? Did you not hire me because I'm not a pony, or because I'm not female?"
>"I just want a job, but it's people like YOU who make it fucking impossible."
>"If it's not because I'm a non-pony, it's because I'm a "meat-eating predator". If it's not because of those reasons, it's because I'm male."

>"You're an elected official, what you did was not only extremely unprofessional it was both sexist, and demeaning."

>>27768300
>Anon runs for mayor
>Wins by a landslide with his "I'll let you see my dick if I win" campaign
>Hires ex-Mayor Mayor Mare as his assistant
>She now spends each day ensuring the snacks arrive when they're needed
>The scenario progresses to the next stage
>Building Ponyville-2, a fortress-town built to withstand the crazy shit Twilight Sparkle and her weird friends keep causing

>>27768355
Anon wins next election by virtue of curbing the mane 6s public property damage problem, accounts all over praise his name.

>>27767294
It's hostile people like you, shooting down people's ideas without contributing or even making better suggestions that hold this thread back. Go back to /b/ if you feel like hating.

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>>27768513
>Encouraging crossover ideas from another fandom filled with kids

>>27767196
So...write it. Don't ask for it if you aren't willing to do it yourself first.

>>27768355
> Ponyville-2
"Get in the robot, Fluttershy."

>>27768742
>Ponyville-2 is destroyed by shennanigans.
>The city's defenses clearly helped, but were not enough to save it.
>Anon orders the construction of giant robots to defend the next one.
>Ponyville-3 will not fall under his watch.
>In fact, he'll have the buildings lower themselves underground in case of attack.
>And giant guns EVERYWHERE
>And if that ends up being insufficient, he has one final weapon
>The Cutiemark Crusaders

>>27767134
D'awww, I just want to grab hold of those ears and face fuck that cute little abomination.

>>27767238
Normally I would invite you to go fuck yourself, but goddamn. Fucking Nyx, man. That little shit's like a disease.

>>27767098
Hmm, maybe if I rename AJ Smiles into HayJ Smiles, it wouldn't be as confusing. I never really planned on writing in the 6 main ponies into the story, though. I never had a plan in the first place. Yep, I'll rename Cheese/AJ Smiles into HayJ Smiles. Y'all can move on now.

>>27768024
>Stallion assaults mare
>Mare pushes stallion away in self defence
>Mare is charged with assault
>Stallion gets tearful sympathy

>>27767897

I would 100% smuggle Sombra out of jail and take him somewhere safe.

>>27768355
>Anon wins by slutting it up
>Abuses his power by having a meaningful and important position (assistant) devoted entirely to snack collection
>Anon enforces and confirms ex-mayor Mare's opinions about colts
>Word of how Anon wins and what he's doing with his underlings spreads
>Slowly makes the already bitter mares even more bitter
>Anon is the ember that sparks a wildfire of an enormous anti-stallion general attitude among the mare population of Equestria
>Overwhelming votes allow laws restricting colt's rights
>There's now well-enforced 1950s gender roles
>Stay in the kitchen or else I will legally beat you for insubordination
>we muslims now

>>27768988
Anon makes the Atom bomb and puts them back in line.

>>27768988
>Implying that snacks are unimportant

>>27769043
>Mayor Mare used her assistant for snack runs too
>Finds the work surprisingly fulfilling
>Feels like she has a purpose
>Is happier than she has been in years

>>27769055
>The most valued positions in the Canterlot Palace staff are those relating to ensuring the princesses always have their snacks

>>27769074
FACT!

>>27769074
>"Mayor Anon, quick!"
>Twilight bursts into your office, tearing the lock out of its lock place where the lock goes inside the door
>It's_Five_O'Clock_Somewhere.I'mdrinking
>"The Princesses will be here any minute and nopony remembered to collect snacks!"
>No.
>Not this.
>Not again.
>You were present when the Princesses ran out of snacks.
>something something you're not you when you're hungry something something Snickers
>You rush over to the safe on the far side of the room and start spinning the dial to unlock it
>You fuck up a few times because of the stress of what's at stake, but you hear a loud CLICK and wrench open the door.
>Candy and chocolate pours out.
"Take it!"
>Twilight stands there, stunned.
>This is probably like catching your dad drinking from a hip flask.
>You rush over and grab Twilight by her shoulders and shake her.
"Take it, dammit! Take all of it!"

>>27767408

But if ponies can't take colts seriously as a result of the gym crisis, then doesn't that mean they'd be suspicious of Anon as well?

>>27769129
Anon's one of them human whatsits, not a stallion.
Just cus he's got a donger don't mean he's gonna behave like it.
Ya can't go around expecting aliens to not be a little, ya know, alien in their ways.

>>27768355
>>fortress-town
I'm picturing Anon being really obsessed with Dwarf Fortress and moving everybody underground.

>Alicorns are actually Forgotten Beasts
>That's why there's so very few of them and why nopony knows where they come from
>"The Forgotten Beast Celestia has come! A gigantic feathered unicorn. Her mane is rainbow and her wings twitch irritably. Knows and intones the names of all she encounters. Beware her control over the sun!"

>>27769149

>ponies actually being rational and treating Anon like the alien he is

I almost can't believe it.

>>27769186
I was actually going to include a fuck-the-world-lever line as a reference to third impact

>>27769193
>Thinking they're rational
They still won't go near any vents for fear of Anon bursting out and attacking them when they least expect it.

>>27769222
RIP Boatmurdered.

>>27769222
>Luna withdraws from society...
> (months of ignoring her)
>Luna has stopped being in a fell mood.
>Luna has gone stark raving mad!
Cue page after page of combat logs

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>>27767556
>>27767724
>Go to Twilight and explain
>Even in a situation where Twilight and Anon did not know each other well, she would still gladly help.
>Twilight confronts the mayor
>Mayor Mare must either admit her wrong-doing or lie to a princess and national hero.

We all know how it would go down.
Then you fug Twilight after as thanks

>>27769288
Fug twigli and make sweet sweet love with the mayor.

>>27769549
Why not both?

>>27769613
because twilight needs some furious fucking and the Mayor needs some TLC. After MM lets her guard down then she gets some hard dicking.

>>27767208
>Anon knows how to make natural deodorants and perfumes
>They all smell weird and disgusting to ponies, who treat him as if he's just rolled around in manure
>"Honestly, Anon! Come into my shower, we'll clean that bay leaf smell off of you, and you can use my Musk-Au-Derriere cologne!"

Green where ponies have the hots for Anon but Anon thinks they're gross?

>Pony "winks" at Anon; Anon's stomach churns at their weird, prolapsing vaginas
>Something unintentionally lewd happens involving Anon and a pony. Pony deposits squash soup and Anon has to rush to the bathroom to puke
>Ponies have no curves and their faces do not resemble a human's; Anon feels no sexual attraction to them and has a hard time viewing them as anything more than really intelligent pets

>Cadence finds herself tempted to have an affair with Anon, a new member of the Palace staff.
>Anon is a genuinely nice guy but has no interest in fucking horses.
>Despite how ponies, such as his co-workers and Celestia, flirt with him, he's pretty oblivious.
>Has no idea he's causing a crisis in Cadence as he mops floors and waters the flowers.
>Shenanigans.

>>27769718
>"Celestia, you stink. Tell you what - I just pissed into a spray bottle, Anon. C'mere!"

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>>27767214
Is it really that hard to crop?

>>27769743
That's the basis of every single green where Anon isn't lusting after ponies though.

>>27769803
Except nowhere near anything that extreme.

Would mare prostitutes exist in like in the real world where they get paid to assist all-stallion parties?

>>27767556
>"I'm sorry, Anonymous, but colts really can't be trusted in important positions."
>You sit there in focused contemplation.
>Your eyes drift to your resume on her desk, just behind the massive pile, crisp and clean as it was when you paid the printer to fancy it up for you.
>Nostrils flare as you blow a hot puff of air through your nose.
"You know what Mayor Mare?" you respond finally, the mare has been looking more and more concerned as you were siting in silence before her.
>She clears her throat, "Yes?"
>A toothy grin flashes her way.
"I believe you."
>Her eyes widen for a brief moment, before your continuation causes them to lower with suspicion.
"I know the score, I've been here long enough to figure out how things work. I don't doubt that you have actually been screwed down to the exact detail that you have written on all these reports."
>She swallows nervously as you rise out of your seat.
"And you had to detail it, all of it, just to make sure there wasn't a single oversight that could be used against you. Right?"
>She gives you the slightest of nods, it looks like she didn't even mean to respond then.
>You step slowly around the edge of the desk, closing the distance between you both little by little.
"But..."
>You stand just beside her, she looks so small in her little seat.
>She probably feels that way right now too.
>Good.
"If you're going to say to my face that you hire "based on merit and abilities" then refuse to even look at my resume for longer than a second, well... I'd say I can consider myself lucky."
>She tries to keep firm eye contact with you, but you step just to the side and allow the sunshine behind you to blind her.
>You continue as she squints and shields herself.
"Lucky that I realized you were at best a hypocrite, or at worst an experienced sexist."
>"Now see here col-"
"Shhhh-" you silence her with a finger on her lips, the old mare's cheeks begin to fill with color, her eyes with shock.

>>27770098
>She looks dazed but also not any madder than she was getting.
"For the record, which I'm sure your taking somewhere, I'm not a colt. I. Am. A. Man. A man who thinks he really has a lot to offer, literally a civilization's worth, but if you're going to let your past bitterness hold you back, fine."
>You take you resume off her table and make your way to the door, leaving the grey mare sitting at her desk speechless.
>Her assistant, who let you in, tumbles forward and sprawls out onto the floor as you open the door out.
>He's wearing headphones and holding a mic you're guessing.
>You turn back around to face Mayor Mare.
"I don't need someone who's not interested in moving forward. Have a good day Mayor." you say with a voice colder than a tundra.

>You slam the large wooden doors shut and trudge through the ornate crystal hallway to the room with the nearest couch.
>"Anon? Is that you?"
>You flop unceremoniously onto the couch and make a loud grunt in response to the question.
>A flash of purple blinds you for a second and Twilight appears in the room.
>She looks around for a second before spotting you and trotting over happily.
>That happiness diminishes as she approaches, like seeing the sourness on your face.
>"So... how'd it go?" she asks with a very exaggerated gentleness in her voice.
>Like one wrong word would shatter you right now.
>You let out a sigh and look away.
"Could've gone worse I suppose. Didn't go great as is-"
>You pause for a moment, out of the corner of your eye you can see her face scrunching up.
>She's torn up inside right now and you absolutely know why.
>You decide to throw her a bone.
"- I guess you were right."
>Her face lights up for a brief second, before going back to a forced neutral.
>She clears her throat before responding, "Yes well... It's not about who's right or wrong, in fact, I really wish I wasn't right Anon."

>>27770112
>The look of sympathy on her face is exactly what you were hoping for.
>And now for the pay off for throwing that bone.
"Yeah" you respond somberly, letting the silence hang in the air for just a moment to really tug at her heart, "So I was thinking on the way here- uh, home..."
>Twilight's ears perk, you have her complete attention now.
>Time to collect.
"Do you think maybe you could fund a trip for me to visit Manehattan?" you ask sweetly.
>Twilight doesn't even give it a second thought, the bright smile on her face informs you that you've already got what you wanted.
>"Oh of course Anon! I think going on a trip would be a wonderful idea, there's so many spas and I heard-"
>You quickly drown out whatever silly little itinerary she has already convinced herself that you need for piece of mind to gather your own thoughts.
>You don't need Mayor Mare's approval ultimately, if you can manage to collect some talent to showcase your skills then the result is pretty much the same.
>Better even, no contracts to hold you back.
>And step one is getting that mare from Manehattan on board.
>"Doesn't that sound nice Anon?"
>You smile brightly at Twilight.
"Yes, It sounds just perfect..."

Nonspecific-alternate-thing-to-kill-the-last-bit-of time-I-have-to-spend-at-work... HO!

>>27769912
I'd say yes. You get the mare equivalent of Gwen Stefani for a bachelors party, throw her a few hoof-fulls of bits and then she leaves with some lucky guy. I'd totally buy that's a thing in horseworld. Just not nearly as prevalent or profitable as for stallions. Also, the mare is expected to provide a happy ending for at least somebody. might be off the clock, but . . . there is a strong implication.

Yo, RGRiE! What sort of hair/fur/mane/tuft fashion do colts have that's considered sexy? If Anon grew a beard, would he be like that chick who doesn't shave her pits and legs? Would a mustache be seen as the pony equivalent of a tastefully trimmed bush?

i cant believe amphetanon is dead

>>27770259
I can still see his ghost floating around the board, haunting this thread. Sometimes, in the dead of 18:36:51, you can still hear his ghostly moaning. Legend has it that if you say his name three times, he appears on your screen and posts Anon-dad green.

What's the RR version of a girl eating an ice cream cone sexily? A colt licking all the ice cream out of an ice cream sandwich?

>>27770350
>Anon eats an oreo
>Gets the mares wet.

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>>27770350

>>27770350
Felatiating a grilled cheese sandwich.

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>>27770420
f-fuck

>>27770459
Why would we grill... then suck the donger of Cheese Sandwich?

>>27770459
>Anon dines with the Four Princesses.
>Unintentionally eats things 'sexily' to ponies because of how a human naturally eats.
>Causes them to squirm.
>Twilight goes fully Pastamancer.
>Cadence is torn between jumping Anon or jumping her husband, who feels oddly demasculated.
>Luna schemes to get Anon on a date, and acts like a complete 'British Gentlemare'.
>Celestia is seemingly unfazed, but is as still as a statue; moving will cause her to 'release'.
>Anon is unaware as he dines with them, but is confused by their oddness.
>Thinks he's being rude in someway.
>Then dessert comes.
>The nightmare grows blacker...

>>27770544
You're telling me this wouldn't turn on mares? Sure, the grilling may be a bit excessive, but when you wanna make them sploosh, you gotta cook a little dick.

>>27770586
Cooking Poneflesh may turn them away, but I guess the whole dude on dude thing will get them riled up the way hot chicks fucking does with us.

>>27770420
Becoming the BBW of RGRE when.

>>27770556
>>Celestia is seemingly unfazed, but is as still as a statue; moving will cause her to 'release'.
>hairtrigger celestia
I suddenly want this.

>>27770556
>>Unintentionally eats things 'sexily' to ponies because of how a human naturally eats.

>"Oh fuck, he's using a fork. I'm so wet right now."

>>27770685
>Celestia has extremely sensitive teats and vag
>Sitting on her cushion is enough stimulation that she'd cum if she stood up to walk around
>Day court is really hot and heavy for her
>Something something RGRE

>>27770766
Body language, Anon.

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>>27745772

>A constant and pleasant crackle emanates from the fireplace, and Anon’s sitting room is bathed in warm, flickering light.
>Outside the window the world has turned blue and black, and you can just barely make out faint twinkles of starlight in between distant roofs and the top of the window frame.
>Even with front row seats to a freshly made fire the air inside the house was cool, pleasant and just slightly humid.
>It was a perfect autumn night, one that deserved your good company.
>Dash, who sat on your right, had been doing most of the snacking between the two, and the plate you shared at your end of the table was now bare.
>The dish at the other end catered to the needs of Anon and Twilight; it too had been picked clean.
>By now you were quite thankful of Pinkie’s gift and held no grudge for her not being able to make it, even if she had been quite hard on herself for not throwing a party for the newcomer the moment he arrived.
>Really, you were surprised they hadn’t met already given her frightening dedication, but everyone had been so, so busy lately, even you.
>You didn’t realize how overdue you were for something like this when you first arrived, but it was quickly coming to your attention now.
>”Brrhh—uggh, I needed that... “ Dash comments through a belch as she finishes off the last of the sweets in her hoof, your displeased look wasted on her as she drains what little is left in her cup.
>”Did you not eat dinner? I knew they had you on long shifts, but…” Twilight asks, her purple body sinking comically deep into the mino-sized chair on your left.

>>27770859

>”They always ride my flank like there’s no tomorrow during S-Change weeks! I had to cloud set a quarter mile of sky, and THEN I had to come to street level because Leaf Changing C was too busy scratching their butts to keep up, as usual, and I had to help pick up their slack. I barely had time for lunch.” Dash states with mild agitation, bending forward to set her empty cup on the table before leaning back into her own plus-sized chair.
>“But… I guess that’s just part of being the fastest pony there is. Everybody wants a piece of you.” she continues, a knot of prideful confidence in her voice as she turns onto her side and stretches her rear legs, “Yeeeeaahp-ahh, those foals would probably be totally lost without me.”
>Ahh, THERE’S the humility.
>The raw disinterest in your deadpan expression as you sip gingerly from your cup yet again escapes your cyan companion.
>If any stranger could believe it, she actually didn’t act that way around her friends much.
>Sure Dash loved to be the center of attention, but she always had the good will to tone it down around her inner circle; sometimes even SHE could show signs of social grace.
>What you were experiencing now, and had been experiencing in samples ever since the four of you had sat down to chat, was what usually happened when she met ponies for the first time, ESPECIALLY if those ponies were of the fairer sex.
>Unfortunately, both of those criteria were being met tonight and she was making sure to lay it on thick.
>Of course, you can’t bring yourself to complain too much given how stagnant the conversation had been falling in between her leading it towards herself.
>Another thing that could be said socially of Dash is that she was never fond of awkward silences, and had quite the talent for shooing them away.

>>27770807
I like mine better.

>Anon does normal (albeit human) things
>These things are unknowingly erotic to ponies

I'd read a story where innocent and non-sexual things and gestures are perceived as sexual by ponies.

>Anon grabs something out of Twilight's magical grip
>Twilight is flustered
>"He was INSIDE me!"

>>27770874

>”Mmm, it sounds like it.” The smooth voice of your enigmatic host comments from the dim light on Twilight’s left, his eyes ever shining regardless of brightness in the room, ”You’re quite accomplished Rainbow Dash. I wonder what heights I might reach if I had even half the passion of the finest flyer in the world.”
>Ahh, his voice is silk and regal, and always just above a whisper.
>Now that you had spent some time together, his personality had changed marginally.
>Once you’d all spoken, shared, gotten a feel for each other’s personalities and limits, your truer selves began to show beyond the awkward tension, and now you were getting a clearer glimpse into him than before.
>What stark contrasts this Anonymous is made of.
>What conflicting emotions he stirs with his imposing form and satin, masculine voice.
>The weather mare blushes noticeably, clearly taken aback by the honest tone in the male’s simple, eloquent compliment.
>”U-uh… yeah?” she responds dumbly, averting her eyes and scratching gently at the side of her face with a hoof.
>Even though she was a mare of great talent, her tendency to showcase her successes (read: her ego) so blatantly usually earned her droll quips for her trouble, especially from colts.
>She wasn’t so used to the opposite sex adulating her so genuinely, and Anonymous’ simple smile is enough to confirm his sincerity.
>As nice as all of that was, the conversation had fallen into another lull, and considering the steam pouring out of Dash’s ears she would probably be no help for a while.
>You were going to step forward, ask Twilight about recent book checkouts, regale about a ludicrous dress commission, anything, when Anonymous stood slowly, gaining the attention of the others in the room purely by the force of his size and presence.

>>27770890

>”Well, ladies…” he begins, giving each of you a quick once-over, his expression accommodating but noticeably worn, “I think I need a drink. Anyone care to join me?”
>He peers at Dash whom, stumbling over her words for a moment, settles on “Uhh, n-no ice… “
>Now to you.
>”Oh yes, on ice please, dear.” You instruct simply, narrowly matching his overpowering gaze before he shifts it to Twilight.
>”Hot, right? I think the burner is still warm.” He preempts.
>Apparently his assertion is correct since Twilight’s surprised, happy nod sends him off to the kitchen to fix your drinks.
>Though you can only see Twilight you’re quite sure that all of you watch him as he goes, examines the foreign but undeniably poised style of his movement, curiously studies the slight shift of his rear beneath his modest clothing…
>Mm, ’curious’, such an excuse, and you were probably the only one with the gall to eye him like that.
>You whip your head back around with an ounce of shame.
>What an insulting change from earlier in the evening.
>You were only just starting to treat him properly, but your eyes were already exploring him with less than noble intent.
>You weren’t the sort of prude to castigate yourself over a little of the ‘Mare Gaze’ now and then, but after being so wary of him for the entire evening it didn’t exactly feel right to start simplifying him in a different way purely on the merit that it was arguably more ‘positive’.
>Still… things had been slow-moving, and you could probably think of worse way to ponyize him.
>Maybe you were being a little too harsh on yourself.
>As you mull your thoughts over in your empty teacup, Twilight gets your attention, her voice whispered and just within earshot.
>”U-uhh-uhh, uhh, u-u-umm… “ she bumbles teasingly to Dash, the cyan mare quickly catching on to her point and frowning.

>>27770910

>”U-uhh, r-r-r-really sir? N-n-n-no ice, please.” Twilight continues in a foalish voice, grinning superiorly at your companion.
>You can’t stifle the giggle that escapes you as Dash bristles from the implied dig, her eyes narrowing at the purple librarian.
>”What’re you trying to say, bookworm? That you can talk to colts better? Besides, I didn’t even, I mean, I wasn’t even-…” Dash whispers in reply, clearly flustered at the sudden ‘challenge’ to her marelynes as she searched for an excuse.
>Twilight simply snickers, muffling the sound in her raised hoof.
>You both love Dash dearly, but she took herself so seriously and was so poor at hiding her emotions that a little ribbing here and there was pretty much mandatory.
“Don’t listen to her, darling.” You assure, reaching out and gently patting her on the withers with a hoof, “I’m sure Anonymous was quite charmed at your, um… cute little display.“
>Mmm, ‘cute’.
>If the little huff she gives you and her face is any indication, ‘that’ little jab hit her square on the snout.
>She looks like she’s formulating a comeback but unfortunately it’s going to have to wait.
>Your host is returning and she certainly doesn’t want him to know the content of the conversation.
>”What are we talking about?” he asks softly as he lifts a blue glass from the makeshift tray in his other hand and presents it carefully to Twilight.
>She blows on the amber liquid within and takes careful sip, eyeing Dash playfully all the while.
>”Uhh, nothing. Hey, listen-“ Dash begins, her sentence dying out as he hands her her own fresh blue cup; chilled, no ice.
>”Perrrfect, thanks babe.” Dash continues confidently, her suddenly flirtatious tone causing you to mentally flinch and Anon to pause and smile amusedly at her.

>>27770924

>”Okay, so listen, Wonderbolt tryouts are next Saturday, and they’re doing it down in Ponyville Park this year. I was thinking of heading down there.” She goes on, sipping the cool beverage clutched in her hooves, “I figure I’m probably a shoe-in, so you should come down there, too. Ya’ know, see me leave everybody in the dust? It’ll be great. I could even give you my first autograph as an official performer over a drink, whadaya’ say, hmm?” She hums, wisely leaving out the fact that this isn’t her first time trying.
>You note the grin she flashes is directed at both him AND the two of you.
>”Mm, that does sound fun…” Anon replies thoughtfully, his eyes momentarily shifting to Twilight who gives him a worried look.
>You’d seen that little exchange happen a lot tonight.
>It was especially common when you tried to get specifics on where he was from and certain aspects of his homeland.
>You wanted to be a little more suspicious, but that emotion hadn’t exactly been doing you any favors tonight.
>Still, you couldn’t help but be curious about where such an interesting being came from, especially considering that neither you nor anyone you asked had ever heard of a ‘human’ before now, nor anything ‘east of Bovaria’ save the Bovine Sea.
>Maybe he was from an unexplored continent?
>Where there still even unmapped places for him to come from?
>Strange.
>Well, at least you could understand why this newest question was room for extra forethought.
>Anon, and possibly humans in general, were still quite new, and that wasn’t mentioning their more, mm… ‘powerful’ qualities.
>You have a feeling you know where this is heading; hopefully she doesn’t take it too hard.
>Honestly, you were a little surprised she hadn’t thought of this herself before asking, but Dash would be Dash.

>>27770939

>”Hmm, tell you what… I’m pretty busy, but I’ll check my schedule and see if I can make it.” he replies, reaching out and gently touching the side of Dash’s face with his hand.
>Dash stiffens slightly from his unexpected contact but quickly relaxes and drinks in the gentle caress which, now that you considered the position, was slightly similar to how you might nuzzle a friend as a greeting.
>”I’d feel terrible if I missed my new favorite pegasus’ big rise to stardom firsthand…“
>Ahh, more hot air.
>Dash’s eyes are dreamy as he retreats his soft claws, seemingly unaware that the most common ‘gentle letdown’ in the book had just been used to politely decline her invitation.
>Clever stallion.
>”… Uhh, huh? Favorite? Oh, uhh… yeah, yeah sure… “ the cyan mare whispers eloquently, her lidded eyes gleaming as she unabashedly stares at him.
>”… U-uhh! Just, you know, be quick! Haha, there’s only so much of ‘The Dash’ to go around!” she says cockily, trying in vain to recover from his touch by quickly downing several snout-fulls of cider from her overly large cup.
>Next comes you.
>Anonymous turns and heads back toward his chair, stopping at the foot of your seat to hand you your share.
>Only now, as you take the glass gently into your hooves, do you notice its unique intricacy.
>Unlike the other two simple blue cylindrical glasses he’d given to Twilight and Dash, as well as the simple brown one left on the tray he was presumably keeping for himself, this one was clear glass and full of artful designs.
>Branches adorned with small leafs and sprigs wreath its entirety.
>The design culminates at the origin of the wooded reeds; a large apple tree with a single ‘A’ discretely carved into the stump.
>The longer you stared at the magnificent, authentic cider glass, the stronger the case becomes that Celestia’s list of gifts to your host did not stop at expensive cider.

>>27770952

>Not only that, but the letter in the center strongly implied that it had been custom made for him.
>It was a precious, tasteful gift, and now it was in your care, so easily given.
>You open your mouth to protest, to press that such a valuable thing should be kept for him and him alone, but you can’t get the words out.
>Those eyes, comforting but haunting as he stands before you with the full force of his stature, cull the words before they can form a coherent sentence.
>He persuades, nay, insists, with barely a glance, and quickly returns to his seat with his own mug.
>You can only oblige.
>A comfortable silence follows, each of you testing your well-earned beverage.
>You tip the sizeable glass and a familiar bittersweet burn stings your throat, refreshing you in a way that only alcohol could.
>Though you’d maintain that cider isn’t exactly your drink of choice, the feel of the cool, finely-crafted and likely one-of-a-kind glass against your tongue is exquisite and satisfying in a way that’s hard to articulate.
>For a while the mellow burn of cider and the casual exchanges between you and your friends become your life.
>Twilight vents about little things like patrons returning books with scribbles and doodles in them.
>Dash tells you all of her humorous if slightly painful encounters with one Derpy Hooves, the Pegasus mare with an astonishing one-hundred and thirty-seven total workplace-related injuries.
>You decide to tell the story you’d been meaning to tell earlier about a stubborn mare who demanded a dress be made with a ghastly combination of both green and purple, and firmly asserted that she wanted the design to be both ‘ostentatious’ and ‘conservative’, creating many a headache.
>You notice that throughout this time Anonymous has very little to say, and instead calmly enjoys his drink with a level of reserved serenity that you find hard to believe given the potency of the brew in his hands.

>>27770966

>You could smell it all the way from the glass when he gave you yours.
>He comes in only here and there, offering his opinion or supporting the current one with a composed, stallion-like grace.
>You were only half-serious and quite ignorant to his true nature on the way here, but now that you’d spent some time in his presence he really was like the lordly, refined stallions from bit-store romantic fiction.
>Except he was very real, and every so often spared you looks from across the room that your buzz-tinted mind colored for you in all sorts of ways that likely weren’t reflective of reality.
>Oh yes, the drink had long since begun having its desired effect.
>The fact that Anon’s mugs were ‘just a smidge’ larger than what was average expect had certainly helped things along.
>Though a younger you might doubt the wisdom in becoming so wobbly and vulnerable before such an intimidating fellow, the older you was becoming quite accepting of many things as you continued to tip from your glass.
>”Anyone for seconds?” he asks, briefly peering into his mug before scanning your faces.
>”He-eck yeah,” Dash hiccups, raising and shaking her empty glass.
>Apparently you weren’t the only one feeling the effects of ponyville’s favorite party favor.
>“I’m sittin’ dry ovr’here, hook me up.”
”Yes, a little more for me, I think. If you would be so kind, darling.” You say, noticing that the pitch of your voice has risen a touch as you speak.
>”Uggh, maybe jus’… a little. My head’s… is swimming… “ Twilight slurs in response, setting her empty down on the table and leaning onto her side.
>You didn’t really expect her to keep up.
>She’d always been a light drinker, and your initial serving size had been anything but ‘light’.
>”You dun’ have to warm this one up, even. It’s okay.” Twilight continues, setting her chin gently onto the arm of her chair and sinking over deeper into its cloud-like cushions.

>>27770977

>Anon stands, and for the first time tonight a smile appears on his mouth that clearly showcases many of his teeth.
>They certainly weren’t as dangerous as you were expecting them to be, but you don’t miss the subtle but present points of certain specimens.
>”Mm, yes I do.” Anon hums graciously, reaching out and taking her cup in his hand.
>He doesn’t move with quite as much elegance as he did before, and the cadence in which he speaks has changed slightly, but he was certainly doing much better than any pony who’d had that much of what he was drinking by miles.
>”Noooooo, no no no.” Twilight whines in protest, her lips turning upwards as Anon reaches out and gently claims one of her ears in his grabbers, twiddling around it gently with a practiced, frightening precision.
>”Yes.” He whispers defiantly, decisively, and you hear the purple mare relent with soft ‘yes’ under her breath.
>Twilight seems quite pleased with their simple exchange, and you find yourself longing to know why.
>As he departs for the kitchen you don’t bother to restrain yourself.
>You watch the heft of his retreating bottom rock subtly as he heads for his pantry with a distinctly un-ladylike gratification, your meagre moral protests muted by the soft buzz in the center of your head.
>After your vision for the evening vanishes you turn and close your eyes, enjoying the low, constant hum of the liquor as you sit a while and hold on to the last image you saw in your head.
>You wonder what time it is, but can’t summon the will to open your eyes and rid yourself of the pleasant memory.
>You continue to wonder what might be worth the loss of rousing you, and a thought arrives; an option you’d almost forgotten about.
>As you lean your head back into the plush chair you take inventory a second time and make absolutely sure that the many nagging, goody-goody voices in your mind have indeed been dulled to an ignorable whisper.

>>27770987

>After that, you decide that now is as good a time as any to partake in your little guilty pleasure.
>Twilight shifts her head slightly to observe you as your horn lights with magic, a small box you’d hidden away in your bags, under a tray of lemon squares, and finally under your chair surfacing to drift into your lap.
>”Whaaat? What gives, Rah? I thought you quit…“ Dash comments with some disappointment, shooting you a displeased look as you carefully lift the box’s small lid to reveal a collection of full-guage Gryphon Cigars; your weakness.
“Some habits die hard, darling, and this is a special occasion, wouldn’t you say?”
>”Excuses, excuses.” Twilight titters, a wry grin spreading on her lips as you lance the tip of one of the rolls with the combination of a cutter stashed in the box and a magical precision you were surprised you still possessed, quite frankly
“Hmpf, and everyone accuses me of spoiling fun...” You lament as you place the treasured item in your lips and take an experimental cold draw, trading the cutter for a matchbox and ashtray from the same source before tucking said source back away under the chair.
>Your cut is perfect, as always.
>Next you set your tray on your right armrest and strike one of your long-necked matches, waiting a moment for some of the lighting agent to burn away; there was nothing worse than tasting sulfur and cheap ignition in cigars that were… well, lets be honest with ourselves, Rarity, 150 bits and only ‘mostly’ legal.
>Finally, you light and take a long, gradual drag, the rich and earthy smoke flooding your cider-painted mouth and dipping just a bit into your lungs.
>Ohhh, you missed this.
>Truth be told you never actually quit, but you did cut down your intake significantly, and until tonight you’d been rid of it for two weeks.
>Two long weeks.
>You hadn’t exactly been ‘suffering’ per se, but you had been thinking about it.

>>27771001

>You knew that you were only one smoke in to your brand new case but didn’t bother with it for the longest time out of dedication to your work, and perhaps the desire to prove to yourself that you could.
>Well, you could, and now you deserved a little reward.
>Still clutching your lovely, ice-sweating glass, you pull the item from your lips with your aura and free the smooth taste in your mouth in a narrow stream, your action tainted somewhat by Dash scrunching her nose and noticeably huffing from the smell.
>Twilight, as much as she chided you, never cared much about the smell on account of her mother’s own little hobbies as she grew up.
>Dash, on the other hoof, usually made it a point to voice her displeasure, and after your third drag she does just that.
>”Uggh, c’mooon Rares that stuff reeks—you’re killin’ me over here.” She grumbles, rolling onto her back and setting her large glass on her exposed tummy before lifting a foreleg to cover her nostrils.
”Mm, yes, I suppose I do OWE it to you to hang it up a little earlier than usual.” You reply, receiving a questioning look in return for your emphasis.
”After all, I can only imagine how terrible it must feel getting shot down like that.” You continue, positioning your bad habit back in your mouth and flashing her toothy grin. “I’d offer to treat you to lunch tomorrow to cheer you up right now, but I think I’d need to ‘check my schedule’ first.“
>”Oooooo-hoo-hoo-hoo…” Twilight groans, her own smile fresh as she covers her eyes with her wrist joint and Dash’s face scrunches even harder.
>Alright, alright… maybe that was a ‘bit’ mean-spirited, especially considering that his refusal wasn’t entirely based on his or her own personal desires.
>That was on top of the knowledge that Dash wasn’t exactly as, erm… ‘experienced’ as she let on much of the time, and tended to take rejection on the hard side.

>>27771012

>Still, she knows it’s all in fun, and you wanted to get back at her a little for always hassling you about a little smoke.
>You expected her to get defensive like usual, but instead she, too, breaks into a grin, her eyes turning mischievous.
>”Well, at least ‘I’ actually had the guts to say something, RARITY.”
>She emphasizes the last word, your name, accusingly, as if making a point.
>Confusion fills you and you spare a glance to Twilight, who seems to have Dash’s expression growing into her own at the realization of… something, something that was escaping you.
>”I mean, I was just looking for a date, buuut you? You’ been makin’ eyes at him alllll night. I’m right here, I SEE you rubberneckin’ him every time he leaves, DARLING.”
>”Mm, yes. I wonder: what do you find so interesting about him from BEHIND, Rarity?” Twilight chimes in with a wolfish giggle.
>You feel the hotness in your face, and you know it’s a separate even from the booze.
“N-now I can assure you, dear, I’ve—I wouldn’t do anything even close to resembling these accusations.“
>Dash’s shit-eating grin is eternal and growing even more obnoxious.
>Apparently you weren’t the only one who wanted a little payback with their salad.
>”Oh, ish that it? Sooo, you don’t like him? Do you think he’s ugly or something? That’s pretty cold of you.” Twilight retorts quickly, getting her licks in while you were cornered.
>And you WERE cornered…
>The only thing you can do now is break even and own up, during which you could wrack your brain and try and find instances of them doing less than savory things concerning stallions in the past, a feat that, to your dismay, the drink was also making difficult.

>>27771035

“Putting words in my mouth, hm?” You return snippily, gently tapping the ash from the edge of your cigar into the tray, “Fine; I’ll have you know that I find Anonymous’ company quite enjoyable, and would be more than willing to escort him to dinner if he accepted my proposal.”
>” ‘Escort him to dinner’,” Twilight parrots, giggling again as she lays her heavy head on the armrest closest to you, “Right… “
>”What ELSE would you do with’um, Rara?” Dash questions teasingly, her eyes going slightly wide at the end as she peers off at something behind you.
>You figure there’s not much sense in trying to hide it from them now that the cat was out of the bag.
“Mmm, what I would do, ladies, what I would do… “ you trail off with a breathy, comical lust, your thoughts on the matter stopping sharply when you felt a familiar, horrifying tingle ride your spine.
>Oh.
>Oh dear.
>Goodness when did he get so quiet?
>How did somepony so big sneak up on you?
>Twilight is catching on now, too, and you’re sure that Dash’s smile is breaking her stupid face.
>You can’t tell for sure because all you want to do is stare into the fire, the farthest point of interest from the space he was suddenly occupying.
>You pale, your cigar dipping in your mouth as a low, dark chuckle fills the room.
>You can hear and feel the fluff at the head of the chair above you sag lightly under his weight as he leans on it, a slender arm setting a quarter-full glass of hot cider next to Twilight’s head and then slowly coming around to your left for an unknown purpose.
>”Mm, please, don’t stop on my account… “ he whispers right near your ear in that smoky, dark chocolate baritone, his voice a quality of playful and seductive that only a stallion could ever truly duplicate, “Tell me: what WOULD you do with me, Miss Rarity?” he asks, your brain only just registering him removing the cigar from your lips.

>>27771051

>He’s so close you can feel the heat of his breath on your fur, inhale the unique scent of hearty spiced cider and lemon intermingling with his own male aroma.
>Your liquor-addled mind drifts back to the fresh memory of his teeth as he hovers in your blind spot, looms over you with no consideration for how the raw danger of his position was making your chest pound for more than just simple embarrassment.
>He rounds you on the left with his appendage, your cigar vanishing for just a moment before you spotted it, surprisingly enough, caught in his own mouth.
>You hardly believe your eyes as you watch the tip of your most beloved brand glow orange-red between his soft, masculine lips, and with nary a hack or a cough, the jug in his hand floating toward you in a mute request.
>You offer your—no, HIS glass, forward, and he fills it a little less than half way with a gradual care, ensuring the fluid never hits the top lip of the jug and creates unhelpful suds.
>He’s… he must be flirting with you.
>The buzz of the alcohol is making you feel quite brave now, and those exciting, gripping eyes silently prod you for a reply.
>A reply you’re all too ready to give.
“I suppose that depends, darling. Did you leave a lover ‘east of Bovaria’?” you begin, wetting your drink-dried lips, “A wife or some similar relation?”
>He shakes his head in the negative before reaching up and removing your cigar from his mouth, cradling it in his thumb-claw and pointer as he blew a steady, cool stream up and away from you, his soft neck exposed and ready for your hungry eyes to explore; he wants you to look.
>Dangerous images flood your mind of him repeating the very same action he performs now, but sweaty, and satisfied.
>And in your bed.
“Perhaps you’re in the market for a new lover.” You continue, taking the notably-shaped item he returns back into your mouth with an almost lewd eagerness.

>>27771066

>You catch a hint of what you think to be his taste on the wrapper and you thoroughly memorize it.
“Maybe somepony who shares your interests, lives close by? Maybe in this room? Maybe in this chair…“ you finish huskily, matching his gaze wholly for the first time tonight without the need or desire to look away.
>The soft sounds of surprise from you companions confirm how bold and easily construed your statement is.
>Let’s see little Dashie call you a coward now.
>”Hm, very forward…” He hums, your heart strumming as he appears to consider your offer.
>The beating in your chest nearly stops when he reaches for you.
>In that moment you come to the startling, exciting conclusion that you would be fine with whatever he was about to do, beastly or otherwise.
>No, not just fine with; you would relish it.
>You breath a sigh of contentment as his soft claws press into your perfect coat, combing past the edge of your mouth and onward to the base of your ear as he, finally, pauses, lifts his fingers, and taps you playfully several times on the cheek…
>”… and very drunk.” He eventually relents, offering you a kind look for your proposition but nothing more, turning then and approaching Rainbow Dash with the jug of cider.
“I welcome you to ask me again. When we’re feeling a little more lucid, that is.” He goes on, tipping the jar into Dash’s cup for a brief time before returning to his seat and emptying the rest lighter cider into his own glass.
>Ahh… unfortunate, but not beyond reason, you suppose.
>The smug look from the cyan mare on your right intensifies your disappointment somewhat, but no matter.
>You were getting a touch… over-spirited, weren’t you?
“Ohh dear, yes, how silly of me.” You reply, taking a small sip from your newly wet glass, “what energy fills us in the moment... I agree, darling.”
>Right now, as Anonymous’ wall clock chimes nine, you mentally consign yourself to a new duty.

>>27771088

>It’s details are thus; come hail or high water, return to Anonymous, sober, and try again, win his company like a responsible mare.
>It might take time, yes, but you had time, and you were more than willing to give it for this cause.
>You could wait.
>”Ohhh dang, is it that late!? I gatta’—I think I need’tuh, uhh… be up at five tomorrow. O-ohhhh, jeez.” Dash comments, unwisely taking a generous swig from her mug shortly before attempting to float into the air, an action that narrowly avoids being catastrophic.
>”Oh-Oookay, no-… no wings, haha. No wings for meee.” She continues goofily, instead settling onto her hooves and taking several cautionary steps.
>”Nnngg, I need to get up early, too. Those crushader fillies helped me re-alphabetize the history section before close-up… and I, uhh… I think I might have to redo, uhh… all’a that.” Twilight laments dourly, failing to lift her mug with magic and instead taking it into the kitchen in her mouth and on her own wobbly hooves.
>Thankfully you had a day off scheduled tomorrow, and were planning on taking full advantage of that.
>You didn’t know what would happen tonight, but you always liked to be prepared.
>Now that it was over, you were quite impressed with your forethought.
“Well dears, then I suppose the time has come… “ you say, sliding out of your seat to join the others.
>All you really had to do was sleep, but It would be a little uncouth to stay in your host’s home after all others had left, especially considering that he was a ‘he’ and living alone otherwise.
>You tuck the matches and ashtray back away inside your cigar box and snap the clasp shut, completing this task with no mishaps.
>Carefully, cautiously, you place the priceless cider glass entrusted to you tonight onto his table and push it towards the center to ensure there would be no accidents.

>>27771100

>Dash, noticing the theme of your actions, strode up to help the stallion carry in the various mugs and plates that had assisted you this evening into the kitchen, and she too acts at a careful, gradual pace.
>In very little time the living room coffee table had been cleared, and each of you had begun to collect your things.
>Twilight insisted that she dispose of the empty cider jug for him, and so to do you insist that he keep what remained of your tea bags; a kitchen was incomplete without tea on hoof, after all.
>Finally, you all collect at his door, the one that opened and started this slow-burning whirlwind of a night.
>”Oops.” Anonymous says under his breath, feigning surprise after he reached for the handle and then pulled it to no avail, turning then to face a confused Dash and shifting his intrusive foot out of the way, revealing that it was still, in fact, not locked.
>”Kidding… “ he smiles teasingly, and Dash nudges him in the side playfully with her hoof.
>As you step outside a brisk autumn breeze hits your warm face.
>The streets of Ponyville have gone mostly silent in the distance, and in the opposite direction the woodland of the Everfree ever broods, the depths of its mysteries vast, intriguing, and occasionally intimidating.
>With that fitting descriptor do you turn now to Anonymous, his frame darkened to you and bright at the back from the many flickering lights within his home.
>”Heeyy, so, uh, Twilight, I can’t really-“
>”Yesssssss.” Twilight groans preemptively, comforting the Pegasus with the knowledge that she would have a place to sleep a little closer to the ground tonight.
“Goodnight, Mr. Anonymous.“ You say, your sentiment mirrored by your companions a moment later.
>His faux-luminescent eyes observe each of you thoughtfully for a moment, his face dark and his form highlighted in the rear light.
>Though he speaks to all of you, he looks only at you when the words come.
>”Sleep tight… “

>>27771132
>The trek back across town is uneventful save for Dash’s consistent complaints about your speed on account of her needing to ‘use it’.
>Eventually you come to pause before Golden Oaks Library, its firm branches and moist leaves towering far overhead.
>This is where you and your chums parted.
>You exchange short goodbyes with Dash and Twilight.
>Well, Twilight anyways.
>Dash had immediately rushed inside the moment the door was unlocked.
>The purple mare looked exhausted, and if she could get into the bathroom before then, would likely sleep where she fell.
>She deserved the rest.
>She’d done a lot for ponies and non-ponies tonight, and she never once asked for a bit of thanks.
>It was one of the many reasons why you respected her so much.
>You leave her be and turn towards your own place of business; the quaint streetlamps lighting your way are as fireflies to Luna’s brilliant starfield.
>The door to your Carousel Boutique gives to your hoof, the familiar smell of home and something else inviting you inside.
>A single aromatic candle burns on the table to your right near the tall mirrors, its low light and sweet vanilla scent pleasing you and wiping away the pure blackness of night.
>Sweetie Belle, such a peach.
>You hope she didn’t stay up too late waiting for you.
>Candle in hoof, you soften your steps significantly on your way up the stairs, quietly thanking whoever designed your home with the guest bedroom on the far opposite side of the hall to the bathroom as you discreetly walk inside.
>You light the bathroom fixtures with your small candle and then leave it burning on the sink; you’ll need it when you return to the hall.
>Next, you twist the ‘hot’ knob on your tub’s faucet, and as it slowly fills you take two large cups of water to lessen the hangover you were certain to experience in the morning.

>>27771146

>After relieving yourself and brushing your teeth, you reach a rear leg into the water to test the temperature before eagerly melting into the warm embrace of your bathtub.
>What a day.
>Work was always work, but your evening had been quite… emotionally tiring, to say the least.
>Now that you were in such calm, unstimulating circumstances, the rest of the night felt like a daze of sound, scent and sensation; you hardly remember leaving.
>As you turn a bottle of the Lotus Twins’ signature bubble solution out into the water and nudge the tap on your tub closed you begin to recount and etch the specificities of your night into your mind.
>Meeting him, the trepidation given new flavor, your pleasant discussions and his surprising tastes.
>All of it was so fresh but already felt so far away.
>Though it was late, you regretted leaving a little.
>You could’ve listened to him tell you truths and half-truths about his homeland and his old friends and his experiences for hours on end, his prized glass nestled safely in your hooves.
>He would make a point and you would agree.
>You would tell a joke and he would laugh.
>He would pour you another drink, because why not?
>You would silently investigate his features; his mane, his lithe digits, his sharp face, his soft lips, the round of his flanks and the mound of his sheath beneath his clothing… his smoldering eyes encouraging your wandering gaze with every flighty, come-hither glance…
>You shift slightly, the bubbles on the surface of your bath water bobbing about and then shifting around your hoof as it broke the surface and traveled below.
>Your hips shift slightly under the water as he closes in on your chair, filling the entirety of your vision with his form as he approaches you.
>His smell burns in your nose, lighting your brain in tiny sparks as its complexity overwhelms you, fills you.
>His eyes gleam as he asks you again what you would do to him if you could, and you set out to show him.

>>27771152

>Oh, how you demonstrate.
>Your foreleg shifts within the veil of water and suds pooled around your chest, and you bite your lip to stifle the sound.
>You learn too late that his reserved demeanor masks an intense need, a raw, passionate desire to have you, and he sees to it that you satisfy that need as thoroughly as it takes.
>You pant, you hot breaths popping schools of pink bubbles; he’s panting too, begging.
>Your head falls back, the stuffy aroma of the vanilla candle in such a small room lulling you deeper into your fantasy.
>Begging you.
>Begging you to kiss him, to rock your hips harder, to take his maleness deeper, to accept his seed.
>You’re making soft splashes in the water now from the vigorous movement of your hoof beneath, and your head is fogging up with need, vision blurring, so close.
>At the very precipice, when you can take no more of his body and careen towards that deep, well-deserved finish line, his teeth find your neck and he pulses inside, breeding you, flooding your deepest reaches while his teeth dangerously graze your pulse.
>As your hips jerk hard, you’re treated to the clear return of you own pleasure-stricken voice from the tiled walls, a single, familiar name filling your ears as your head goes magnificently numb.

>>27771169

Annnnnd that's that. Hope you guys enjoyed the ending, and, as always, tell me if you find any errors or anything.

My pastebin is updated, and right here. http://pastebin.com/u/tANDghouls

AN ENDLESS SEA OF GREEN

>>27771193

I just smash my face on the keyboard indiscriminately until my subjective notion of 'a lot' is fulfilled, honestly. Most of it is probably gibberish.

>>27770859
>>”Did you not eat dinner? I knew they had you on long shifts, but…” Twilight asks, her purple body sinking comically deep into the mino-sized chair on your left.
That's a cute mental picture. I'm imagining just her eyes and perked up ears showing.

>>27771232
>Small ponies trying to use furniture that is comically too large for them
Yes, please.

Good job, ghouls. You can come over to my house anytime and fuck my brother.

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>>27770924
i love the ribbing between friends in this story

>>27771232
>>27771273
Pones gon' cute.

>>27771305
"Mares gatta give mares a hard time sometimes. Ya' know, keep'em tough, keep'em on their hooves. Nobody's gonna get any stallions by being all whiny and sensitive that's for sure."

>>27771402
Stallions love a mare who's willing to shove the colt's face into her crotch and say "Lick."

>>27771169
>>27771192
I like your horsewords. I especially like your thirsty Rarity.

>>27771443
l-lewd

>>27771483
Thanks a bunch for reading. And yeah, Rarity being smooth as fuck is pretty much cannon, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have needs. You know how mares are.

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>>27771483
>>27771541

>Pony races are distinct from one another
>For example, the pegasi.
>Pegasi can't speak pony language - they only repeat words and phrases like a parrot
>They sound creepy as fuck when they speak words in their weird, scratchy chirps
>Much like parrots, they need toys to keep themselves occupied; they have a very short attention span
>Anon's herd has a pegasus in it.
>Sometimes she throws her toys around or bites them
>Sometimes she calls Anon a "nigger faggot"
>Anon thinks this is how she says "I love you"

>>27771192
fun story, ghouls. You make me wonder if there's more to anon's background than "just came to equestria"

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>>27771764
>"Brah-brah-brah!"
>Your precious pony waifu comes hopping out of your bedroom and into the kitchen.
>"Cunts!"
>You chuckle and stroke the mane on top of her head with a finger; any more and she'll nip at your hand.
"Morning, Dashie."
>Rainbow Dash looks around the room with wide, glazed eyes.
>"Cuuuuunts~!"
>Without warning, she hops up on the table and grabs your head with both forehooves, pulling you to her chest.
>More importantly, into her tuft.
>A few tugs on the top of your head are all you need to know that she's preening you.
>"Nigger faggot!"
>Aww.

>>27771764
That's really depressing.
You may as well have said "Anon's pegasus wife is severely mentally handicapped and he struggles to come to terms with it."

>>27771851
Oh shit, he's Australian.

>Anon's waifu gets severely injured in an accident
>Now struggles with day-to-day tasks
>May or may not be kicked out of the herd as a result
>Anon may or may not follow

>>27771798
I mostly wanted to imply that the powers that be wanted to keep the fact that Anon was some sort of reality-jumping nether-creature under wraps. Beyond that, his stay in the castle and what-have-you, there could be a lot we don't know about Mr Anon.

Also, now that I have a moment...

>>27767322
Lookin' good LaP. I can't wait to see what they do to him to incite the shitstorm.

>>27770133
Cynical, but satisfying. Nice work Frosty. Also, I hope you haven't forgotten about 'ancient one' Anon in minotits land road trip story. I've been keeping up with it since you first posted, and I can't forget. I'll never forget, Frosty.

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>>27771851
Shades of How To Talk Australians

>How to Talk Equestrians

"I have a special guest today, can anyone guess what it is?"
>You lift the blanket over the cage, revealing a light blue, rainbow maned pony with wings
>"Is it a donkey?"
"Nooooo, anyone else?"
>"Is it a pegging?"
"Close..."
>"Is it a buttplug?"
"Ok I think we've gone in an entirely wrong direction. This is a pegasus."
>*Bird horse noise*
"And her name is Chopper Dash"
>"Get fucked"
>*Irritated bird horse noise*
>"Cunt. Fucked cunt."
"Ok, time to sleep, Chopper..."
>An awkward silence follows as you drape the blanket back over the cage
>Well, silent except for the profanity from the classes new pet
>Including death threats against someone called "Neville Fuckin' Sparkle"

>"Equestria is ruled by two sisters, who are alicorns. The name comes from the fact they pay a great deal of alimony to their children, the unicorns.
>"The older sister, Celestia, controls the sons, while the younger, known as Loner, controls the daughters."

>>27772123
>>An awkward silence follows as you drape the blanket back over the cage
>>Well, silent except for the profanity from the classes new pet
>>Including death threats against someone called "Neville Fuckin' Sparkle"
I laughed.

>>27771904
Well, fuck, I didn't see it that way when I wrote it. I was going for "delightfully eccentric and not serious", but instead I hit "depressing and having roots in real life unfortunate events".

>>27772123
>>An awkward silence follows as you drape the blanket back over the cage
>>Well, silent except for the profanity from the classes new pet
>>Including death threats against someone called "Neville Fuckin' Sparkle"
god'swork.jpg

>Rainbow Dash falls asleep really fast when you ambush her and drop a cardboard box on top of her
>Pegasi instinctively react to darkness = night = bedtime

>>27770556
>Nightmare
>The sexiness overcomes Luna, turning her into Nightmare and immediately jumping Anon.

>>27771904
DAMMIT
FUCK YOU
WHY IS THIS THREAD DEVOID OF FUCKING WHIMSEY

>>27772338
BECUASE
YOU
WERE
OFF
BY
ONE!

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>>27772358
>off by one
>off by one
>OFF BY ONE
>tfw you count every ant in the jungle and your boss chews you out for not counting yourself

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>>This place is slowly killing you.

>>Sure it was cool at first, technicolor vaginas flying at you left and right. Every mare wanted a piece of the green bipedal alien with those squiggly things at the end of his arms. But then it slowly crept in. The whispers, the judging eyes. Apparently you were now a horse slut, with all the public ostracizing that comes with it. Not exactly how you pictured a world of magic ponies acting. Especially all the effeminate stallions. Where the heck was the friendship?

>>Rather than feel shame, you fought back. Embraced it. Infamy over ignominy. You would be the biggest horse bitch man slut in Equestria. In spite of your now completely tarnished reputation, you worked your way into the highest levels of Equestrian society.

>>Because you literally knew who did it, in what room, with the candlestick holder. So now here you are, at some kind of horse gala thing. It’s funny how the pones go around naked all the time, but they put on a couple layers of fabric and it suddenly becomes incredibly lewd. Horse clothes are definitely your fetish.

>>As you survey the crowded ballroom your eyes slide upon an older pink filly. Her purple and white mane is done up in a tasteful bun. You immediately decide you need to be all up in that small horse. As you make your way over to her you smoothly grab two glasses of champagne off a tray that is tightly clamped in the mouth of a passing waiter. He stares at your digits in envy, a single tear running down his horse cheek. He can’t even wipe it off.He. You down one glass and nonchalantly toss it over your shoulder. It smashes an orange blue maned guard pony right in the face.

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>>27772295
>

>>27772400
Doubles Os Fa m. COOL.

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>>27772338

>Day Backwards Shirt in Equestria
>You accidentally put on your shirt backwards
>Eh, too much effort to correct
>Time to walk the town

>Stallions are made speechless
>Mares faint in the street
>Pinkie is trying to figure out why you're walking backwards and could you always turn your head that far around
>Watching from a cafe, Rarity is unimpressed
>"Not whimsical or RGRE enough"

>Tomorrow you will wear your briefs backwards and demonstrate to Rarity, privately, how wrong she is

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>>27772427

>>She’s in a small group of other older fillies. An orange one, a yellow, a white one, and a really sexy grey one you hadn’t noticed. Of well, gonna have to save her for later. Your sight’s are set to pink.

“…ahm glad yer back DT! We were so worried after ya vanished when yer parents were mysteriously murdered.”

>>Hnnnng. Fuck, that accent. Calm down little green, we might have to turn around and I don’t wanna knock a bunch of ponies over with my dick.

“Yeah, you missed our last year of school before graduating.”

“Thanks for worrying girls, sorry. It was just sooo hard after they died, I had to get away.”

>>You bet your ass it’s hard.

“What was that?”

>>Oh shit, did you say that out loud?

“Umm, I said it must have been hard. Losing your parents like that. I’m Anon, by the way.”

>>You put out your fist, which she then bumps, as is the custom. Sweetie Belle leans over to whisper into DT's ear. You hear it clearly because hooves are terrible acoustic direction devices.

“DT, that’s the slut we were telling you about!”

>>You straighten up as pink horse looks you up and down (to fuck lol.) She seems to like what she sees.

“Him? Yeah right. Bet he doesn’t even put out. Just another prissy little stallion tease.”

>>27772440
Well fuck you too, Anon. I remember a day when you could submit a dumb prompt and sometimes an Anon would pick it up and make it work. Don't you make fashion horse look at me like that.

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>>27772504
But Anon, don't you see?
All our posting is being done on a whim. We have reached

Meta-whimsey

>>27772560
>whimsey not whimsey enough
Jesus take the wheel

>Ponies think Anon is a slut for wearing clothing
>Anon calmly explains that he needs clothes for warmth
>Ponies say "okay" and life goes on

So where did "clothes are l-lewd" come from and when did it become a fucking staple of green here?

>>27772568
Please don't drag Gods literal gift to carpentry into this

>>27772577
>Carpentry
Never again

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>>27772575
>ponies normally naked, so it's nothing special
>but when ponies put on clothes, like panties for example, it becomes extra sexy
>ergo nude = normal ; clothes = sexy
>conversely, humans are normally not naked
>oh no, Anon is in a wacky situation now

It's not hard to figure this stuff out.

>>27770987
>”Noooooo, no no no.” Twilight whines in protest, her lips turning upwards as Anon reaches out and gently claims one of her ears in his grabbers, twiddling around it gently with a practiced, frightening precision.
>”Yes.” He whispers defiantly, decisively, and you hear the purple mare relent with soft ‘yes’ under her breath.
2adorable.

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>Ponies don't wear clothes because they don't have a libido outside of spring heat.
>Clothes are instead entirely practical or a symbol of status/wealth.
>Only the richest/most noble of ponies wear clothes everyday. That means Canterlot ponies.
>The princesses don't wear clothing because they are 'good royalty'; humble, and in touch with the people.

>In comes Anon.
>He's practically the most clothed being in the whole planet.
>[M'lording Intensifies]

>>27772788
Durnk bookhorse is best bookhorse.

>>27772645
Those are some nicely defined hoof walls, you can tell she really takes care of herself.

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>>27771192
Now this is some good characterization and attention to detail. I greatly enjoy thing.

>>27772837
need more drunk pones

>>27772798
Or
>In comes Anon.
>He's practically the most clothed being in the whole planet.
>Ponies assume he's a manual laborer, and his job application at Sweet Apple Acres only reinforces that
>Meanwhile, Anon wishes his his robotics and AI degrees would come in useful sometime

>>27772893
>"Don't you worry about all the hard thinkin', Sugarcube. We mares will take care of it all, so you just keep using them big, hard muscles of yours to carry all of them apples to the barnyard, alright?"

>>27772876
I really appreciate the praise, NOF. I was a little nervous at times and I even did some late minute changes, so I'm glad you think it turned out alright. All in all my little trio of shots was a little longer than Going For Seconds, so I'm glad the work paid off even for just a few peeps.

>>27772878
They call it 'Intoxication' for a reason, Anon.

>>27772969
no
more drunk pones
MORE OF THEM
you do good shit, ghouls.

>>27772893
>Anon knows about robotics
>Which means he knows about electric motors
>Which means with some copper (or gold, probably) wire, Anon can make an electrical generator/motor.

>Anon brings basic electrical theory to Equestria despite cries that males inventing things isn't proper. Twilight is asked to make him stop, but she can't bring herself to work against a male that likes knowledge.

>>27771192
We need you to write more.

>>27773105
Let's not get tech thread in on this. The fact that they made Steel Sanctuary, the most irrational green of all time if enough.

>Oh look this guy's species is dangerous
>We have to kill him, ignoring our make-friend policy and all those lessons about not judging books by their cover

>>27773189
>Let's not get tech thread in on this.
They dont have a monopoly on tech ideas. We coulds totes have our own take with RGRE themes.

>>27772997
New prompt: water supply is tainted by a combination of bookhorse magic and appulhorse redneckery; water is now cider, pones are now drunk pones for an entire day.
Thanks brah.

>>27773154
I'm not goin' anywhere. Not very fast, at least. I was around when I wasn't posting stuff, I just didn't have any content until now.

I might stick around for a bit and post little off-the-cuff junk so that I don't burn myself out trying to write another big thing so soon. That mighta' been why I lost my groove for two months, haha.

>>27773294
WHOO
Ironically, I was drunk this entire time.

>>27773218
>Anon takes a pone up with him to space
>They freak their shit during reentry

>>27770785
Reminds me of the story anon rates all the ponys flanks and fucks the princesses and celestia cums easy

>>27773602
Yeah, Frostybox is my favourite writer too.

>>27773749
Uhh, that's LaP.

>>27773814
You're thinking of BNW

>>27774127
Nof*
FTFY

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>>27774141

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>>27774141
>>27774127
>>27773814
>>27773749
This is unnecessary, they're all big guys.

>>27771192
That was great, it was a lovely an novel take of the situation that I haven't seen used before.

Only error I saw was your use of hail or high water instead of hell or high water.

>>27774782
Come hail or high water works as a saying too

>>27773556

>Anon takes pone to space
>Freaked out by being in a vehicle
>Only comfortable wedged between his lower back and his seat
>Something something RGRE

>>27769755
checkin' them smelly dubs

did that druidshy story ever finish or is it dead?

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>>27772862
Would you give her a hooficure?

>>27771192
Moar pls.

>>27775216
That's one masterful portrait

>>27775175
>>27769755
>>27769718
>>27767208
Had an idea years ago in AiE that Anon was a closet slob, with rarity kind of stalking him when she finds out by anon picking his nose and petting a pony as he walked by depositing it into her/his hair.

With this idea of musk and shit, what if anon just got sexier as he went without bathing, however he got dirtier and dirtier.

Rarity and her wildly conflicting emotions are a go.

>>27775493
Looks like the shitfag is back.

>>27775493
Go take a shower.

>>27775498
I much preferred the shitfag who kept his weird fetishes out of the thread and just wrote rooty tooty pony shooty war hero stories for us.
If you're reading this, whoever you were, pls continue that story.
>>27775531
>Anon is not trusted in the shower because the ponies don't think he'll be safe on only two legs on a wet floor
>A pony minder is assigned to ensure his safety when bathing
>He is currently working with the newly reassigned Nurse Redheart to get this nonsense to stop
>Neither one of them wants to deal with this bullshit

>>27775548
Is there anything that will make you say no?

>anon knows how to play a trumpet and has one when he arrives
>to the pones the trumpet sounds like a stallion cumming
>or a mare depending on what he plays
>anon has sex with a pone eventually
>when the mare cums she makes the trumpet sounds
do something with this idea wrightfags.

>>27770133
Like it, want More

>For whatever reason, normal ponies and alicorns cannot breed.
>Shining and Cadence are devastated when they find out.
>Then, they get a letter from Twilight saying that she's pregnant.
>The father is, surprise surprise, Anonymous.
>No one can figure out why Shining and Cadence are so short and hostile with everyone and everything at the next family meet-up.

Or

>In a desperate move that neither like, Shining and Cadence try to convince Anon to impregnate Cadence
>He refuses, siting that he's monogonimus and will remain loyal to Twilight and/or he will not help bring a child into the world if it cannot be his.
>The desperation grows and they try to use underhanded methods to get him to agree.
>Twilight, meanwhile can only watch from the sidelines, torn on who to support.

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>>27772837
>>27772878

>>27772338

Should we repost that green where Rarity tries to teach Anon whimsy?

>>27775757
It won't do the thread any good. The poster's whimsey levels are low enough that the story will go over their heads.

>>27766411
>>27766427
Alright, I don't seem to have an idea of what I want to do. I have Anon and HayJ/Cheese written into a mixed match of course almost borderline lewd stallion groping, but that's it. I don't think I have anything else. Update tomorrow morning maybe.

>Anon discusses various topics with the Princesses one day
>The topic of sex comes up
>Ponies are confused when he talks about oral, anal, etc; non-vaginal sex
>He tries to explain himself, but nothing he says makes sense to the ponies.
>"What's the use of sex if not for procreation?"
>The Princesses think he was just never taught about sex
>Work quickly spreads and Anon is made out to be an innocent, naive colt who has never known the touch of a mare and is clueless to all matters of sex
>Anon's desirability goes through the roof

>>27775955
>A third of the mares want him so that they can deflower him
>A third of the mares want him to "protect" him from the other mares
>A third of the mares want him because he is their perfect virginal husbando who will love them forever even though they're lonely, awkward losers I... I have something in my eye...

>>27776033
>mare who 'wins' finds out how human sex is dedicated to pleasuring the female
>can't walk/fly/magic right the next day
>needs to find a herd fast or lose her job/fall behind because HMD too strong

>>27775855
Maybe take it in a wild and crazy direction?
Anon and HayJ start off like any other stallion wrestlers - but then, something happens to put them into an unexpected situation.

Maybe they accidentally overhear the head of the organization Val MacMare discussing a devious plot to kidnap ... someone, with the help of a gang of pony mafiosos and they get caught up in a crazy adventure where they have to use their theatrics, athleticism, and stallion wiles to outsmart and overcome the pone mafia and save the day.
Or something like that.

>>27775651
Fuck off cuck

>>27776680
>>"My alicorn wife and 100% medically cannot have a child. You are literally the only known creature on this planet who can impregnate an alicorn. We want a child. Simple math, Anon."
>lel cuck XD

Go back to the "would you court Derpy and adopt Dinky" thread if you're going to sit here and spout words you don't know how to use.

>>27776741
Don't send shit to muh thread.

>>27776790
Sorry, Anon, but your thread is like a heat-sink for the word "cuck".

>>27776790
>>27776741
Youre both fat virgin losers

Go away from my thread Wizards

>>27776815
Yeah, so? I think they know that.

>>27768846
But Venus is not for lewd... yet

>>27776903
>Ships anon and Luna together
>AU tells chrysalis she can fuck her dad anytime
>Not for lewd
You keep telling yourself that.

>>27776995
Anon, maybe you've read the something I haven't but I don't think that gold has communicated with anyone in this story.

>>27771192
Don't sell yourself short ghouls, you have everything a good story needs; pacing, conflict and excellent character development. The dialogue flows naturally and is believable from your characters while still being interesting and fun to read.
tl;dr write more faggot

>>27777109
Very funny anon, now I am picturing Venus as a little Jewish horse listening to her shekels.

>>27776815
>"Maybe if I insult them it'll hide how butthurt I am."

>>27777339
>Maybe if I think I am him, it wont be so bad being a Fat Virgin Loser

ITT: faggots arguing over nothing
Good job you guys

>Anon in RGRE Saddle Arabia
>A stallion wearing clothes is seen as absolutely haram
>Anon wears clothes all the time
>Sharia Law intensifies
>They tickle him while saying mean things as punishment

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>>27777870

>>27777870
>Instead of splashing acid in his face, they pour ice cubes down the back of his shirt
>Instead of beating him, they sneak up on Anon and boop his nose
>Instead of raping him, they wait until Anon's gone to bed for the night, sneak into his room, and make him the small spoon.

>>27777958

>Anon thinks it's cute and starts doing it back
>HARAM INTENSIFIES!

>>27774782
>>27774946
Yeah, that one was actually intended. My filter for what pones can think/feel/say when I'm writing pone POV stuff is probably pretty arbitrary, but at the time the word 'hell' didn't make it through. I just substituted it for a word that fit and I could see ponies unacquainted with human culture saying. Still, nice catch, you would have been right on target if this wasn't horsewords.

>>27775327
Perhaps one day, sweet child. For now I'm gonna give classy Rarity and spooky Anon a little time to rest.

>>27775670
Ahahah! Holy shit, I haven't seen this one! Nice find.

>>27777128
Thanks a lot for the compliments man. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it, and the feedback is most appreciated.
Maybe I am, Anon. Maybe I'm doing it right now and you just don't know because you aren't looking over my shoulder. I know that you aren't, because I'm right behind you, looking over yours as you read this.

>>27777958
They'll detonate their party popper belt.

>>27778161

>instead of suicide bombings, pony terrorists just detonate a lot of party poppers so it makes a bunch of noise
>instead of shootings, it's bookings
>instead of decapitation, they force hostages to play duck duck goose.