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Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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Thread replies: 508
Thread images: 105

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Previous thread: >>27624413


GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aoh8YH3I0q78czAnb9mt_4h5jUeCUbivFV5WhAh935U/edit?pli=1

Old CrazyRain's Stories' Archives:
http://pastebin.com/C82B4dea
>>
>>27645035
That's not a ring...not at all. Thank you.
>>
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Stay at home dad edition.
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>>27645065
>Stay at home dad
You mean Stay-at-home MOM, right?
>>
>>27645052
Nope, it's a sock.
>>
>>27645077
She is terrible wife, she is the bred winner not the house maker.
>>
>>27645077
I don't think you understand what REVERSED gender roles means.
>>
>>27645035
>That teeny Applebloom
>No more GiantAnon in tiny Ponyville never ever.
>>
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>>27645091
A stay-at-home mom is just a regular mom in this universe. We call that a house-wife. It's the men who prefer the term stay-at-home dad, rather than House-husband.

In RGRE, it would be the inverse.
>>
>>27645083
Looking at the size of those hands, that's a pretty damn small sock.
>>
>>27645151
Anon will need a lot of duct tape.
>>
>>27645163
She's a big filly
>>
>>27645174
When I pull of her ribbon, will she die?
>>
>>27645194
It would mess up her mane extremely well.
>>
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>>27645035

>myself

Not

>ma self

Ruins it.
>>
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Are RGRE mares arguing like this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI2GVcjXXI8
>>
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>>27645283
No, I think it'd be more like this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSNJaJoOMao&ab_channel=caden7836
>>
For fuck's sake, I'm doing my damnedest to drop an update, and I can't keep a connection for more than 15 seconds. Don't wait up, I'm heading to starbucks or some shit tomorrow to post my update.
>>
>>27645341
Starbucks - We help people post ponies.
>>
>>27645347
>>27645341
Fuck it, here goes nothing.

If this stops halfway through, it's because Time Warner Cable gargles donkey balls.

>You are Anonymous.
>And while you hadn’t managed to see much of ‘Horsetown’, you were pretty sure it wasn’t supposed to have a slowly rotating cyclone of tar black clouds above it.
> You were definitely sure they shouldn’t be a pillar of pulsating green light coming from near the center of town.
>And you were absolutely certain that whenever these two things got together that it was some apocalyptic shit about to go down.
>Alright, that’s not true.
>You originally thought this might just be another crazy part of this crazy world, but the running and screaming townsfolk put a stop to that kind of thinking.
“Shit.”
>That was all you managed to say before a wave of green fire rolled through the avenue, pouring around corners and out of alleyways before you even had a chance to soil yourself in terror.
>Luckily for you, green fire is far healthier than regular orange, or say, blue fire.
>You barely even felt it.
>If anything, it was cold, not hot.
>It was almost like someone turned on a really big fan for half a second, and then went on their merry way.
>You blink in dumbstruck silence for a moment.
>Then you notice it.
>The silence.
>Not seconds ago the streets were full of screaming, panicked, delightfully pastel miniature equines.
>You glance around, surveying the situation.
>Property and Possessions: Untouched
>Colorful Micro-Horses: Fuckin wasted
>Okay, good to note, while green fire is non-toxic to humans, and fine for the environment, it’s very bad for horses.
>Like tomatoes, or the green part of a potato in large quantities.
>Fucking hell, your mind always went to weird places when you were scared or nervous.
>You trot across the street, warily eyeing the sickly, green hued column of energy as you kneel down next to a fallen minty green unicorn.
>>
>>27645374

>You spot the slow rise and fall of her chest, and you feel immense relief.
>They might not be human, but you’re not a heartless bastard.
>She doesn’t appear burned, or even hurt, but like the rest she’s completely non-responsive.
>You snap your fingers next to her head.
>Her ears twitch a bit, and her eyes flutter, as if she was trying to wake from a bad dream.
>Freaky.
>A low rumble reaches your ears, drawing your gaze back to the spooky shit happening a few streets over.
>Fuck.
>Okay . . . so there was a correlation between spooky shit and hurt equines.
>You didn’t like hurt equines, they were far too adorable to suffer such a fate.
>Ergo, you didn’t like things that hurt horses.
>Not a massive leap of logic to assume the mean green is the source.
>It IS a massive leap of logic, however, to assume you can fix this.
>Best thing you can do is book it, leave this to the professionals.
>You dust yourself off as you stand, getting ready to do your best Kenyan impersonation, but you have this tiny, weird thought at the back of your head.
>You start to wonder if that’s really the best course of action.
>This is a world populated by unicorns, pegasi, and talking ponies.
>One of which, you swear to god, had a rainbow mane and tail.
>There is so much magic, it’s literally causing a meteorological event
>If you’re going to talk about massive leaps of logic, assuming that your logic still applies is a pretty big one.
> . . .
>Well, in a land of unicorns and magic, the brave knight always wins, and the coward always dies in a gruesome fashion, right?
>You hadn’t actually read the legend of King Arthur, or any book that didn’t have at least a few pictures, but that sounded close enough.
>You might not be a knight in shining armor, but you could manage benevolent but misguided bystander.
>Taking a deep breath, you attempt to channel your patron saint of rage, hatred, and violence.
>Your first semester college roommate, Kenny.
>>
>>27645384
>Kenny was a six foot four, 220 pound MMA fighter who was meaner than a sack full of diamondback rattlesnakes, and about twice as dangerous to piss off.
>You don’t know what an MMA was, but Kenny fought the ones that were 220 pounds, so they were pretty big.
>From what you knew, Kenny’s father had two hobbies: drinking, and beating seven shades of shit out of Kenny as a kid.
>Kenny was about as familiar with taking and dishing out pain as a mortal body could be, and still be in (mostly) one piece.
>And now you called upon him, your spiritual liege, to guide you through this crisis.
>You don’t know if it was the magic of the place, or if Kenny was just that full of rage, but you feel a faint call to violent action from the region just above and behind your testicles.
>You look around you, finding a convenient “Cast Iron Pan, Busted Chair Leg, and Robust Candlestick Emporium” market stall a few paces away.
>You hefted one of the chair legs that had been resting between a fine square skillet and a heavy pewter candlestick.
>You figured this counted as extenuating circumstances, and wouldn’t be considered shoplifting.
>You rest it on your shoulder, taking in a deep breath in through your mouth, and blowing it out your nose.
>You try and recall the two things he said to you when you first met.
>”Hey, I’m Kenny. My friends call me Ken though.”
>And, “If you ever call me Ken-doll again, I’ll fold you up like a pretzel, slather you in cheese, and eat you on my cheat day.”
>It’s now or never you suppose, and you take off at a quick jog toward what, best case scenario, is going to be a really bad day, or worst case scenario, a very short bad day that will last the rest of your life.
>>
>>27645341
>>27645374
holy shit this niggas still alive
>>
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>>27645419
>>27645374
IT'S ALIVE
>>
>>27645390
Friggen lol

>You try and recall the two things he said to you when you first met.
>”Hey, I’m Kenny. My friends call me Ken though.”
>And, “If you ever call me Ken-doll again, I’ll fold you up like a pretzel, slather you in cheese, and eat you on my cheat day.”
>>
>>27645390
more when, getting to the good part
>>
Amphetanon, if you reading this and your problem is that darn "connection error." every time, IE helped me to post at least kinda normally. And yes: yay, it's alive!
>>
>>27645035
'Ok'
>anon puts apple bloom back in the tree.
>"well... horse apples. Guess im sleeping in the tree again."
>>
>>27645220
But Anon, what if she puts on the country accent so she doesn't think her family will reject her and when she's embarrassed she forgets.
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>>27646085
If you stare hard enough, you can almost taste her sugar cinnamon ponut.
>>
>>27646304
maybe its the sleep deprivation but that is the lewdest thing iv'e read since 3:25.
>>
>>27645374
>>27645384
>>27645390
Good to see you back, sorry to hear you're having internet troubles, and is this where you meant to leave off or did your connection crap out on you again?
>>
>>27646607
I'm on a phone right now. I have like . . . Close to 2k more words of update that I can't get through.
>>
>>27646617
Shit.

Can you update your paste and then someone can post the update from the paste into the thread? Not the same, I know, but at least it'll get your horsewords out there.
>>
https://derpiboo.ru/1178009
>>
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>>27646781
>>
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Here's a prompt

>Anti-RGREquestria is a thing.
>Moral alignments AND gender roles are reversed from regular RGRE, similar to our world
>Good ponies are evil, evil ponies are good, and mares the delicate ones here.
>The Evil Mane Six kidnap their counterparts and take their places in order to gather info for an invasion led by Evil Celestia.
>They didn't expect not being treated as the fairer sex anymore and have trouble adjusting.
>Anon is the only one who notices the Mane Six have been replaced with evil counterparts.
>>
>>27645390
>>You don’t know if it was the magic of the place, or if Kenny was just that full of rage, but you feel a faint call to violent action from the region just above and behind your testicles.
kek
also this story escalated pretty quickly
>>
>>27646962
What a waste of paper that comic was. I should give you the finger for bring it up. Asshole.
>>
>>27646999

That comic was full of wasted ideas.
>>
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>>27647089
Why is Anon so obsessed with fluffy chests?
>>
>>27646962
much potential for shenanigans
>>
>>27645099
A new writefag might pick the idea up.
>>
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>>27647091
Humans are instinctually programmed to cuddle fluffy ponies.
>>
>It's Luna's first week back from the moon
>She dreamwalks and catches a number of mares having wet dreams about Anonymous
>Luna is outraged and, in her thousand-year-old RGRE values, sees this as the equivalent of having sex outside of marriage
>Demands that they marry Anonymous immediately
>Celestia only allows this because she hopes to be caught dreaming about Anon too, thus being forced to join Anon's herd.
>>
>>27647235
>Eventually, every single pony
in Equestria is in it too.
>>
>>27647249
Well, once he's married, he'll have his herd to protect him from ponies who would dream lewd things about him and rape him with their minds. Luna will be satisfied once he is no longer defenceless.
>>
>>27647265
once he's married to those initial mares, rather
>>
>>27647265
So Celestia or anyone else will never have a chance of joining Anon's herd?
>>
>>27645099
>Biganon in Tinyquestria
>Anon does all sorts of helpful things, like reaching the top shelf and rescuing fillies from trees
>Ponies are things he can hold in his hands
>Mares still insist he be careful and feel emaresculated when he physically carries them around
>Shenanigans
>>
>>27647235

>One of the mares who had wet dreams about Anon is Cup Cake
>It's not cheating if it's just a dream right?
>It's not like she had any control over it anyway! Blame her subconscious!
>Now she's part of Anon's herd while still being married to Carrot Cake, who isn't talking to her.
>>
>>27647340
Celestia can do what Celestia wants. Other than that; no chance.
>>
>>27647350
L A M E
>>
>>27647399
>"More than three mares to a herd?! What kind of whore can satisfy more than three mares?!"

Luna's rules are very clear Anon.
>>
>>27647427

>Luna doesn't know about that human stamina
>It's not that he can't satisfy THEM, it's that they can't satisfy HIM.
>>
>>27647343
>"I don't care how quickly you can get me across town, Anon; stop carrying me all the time!"
>Tinypone shuffles uncomfortably and subconsciously crosses her legs.
>"It makes my teats feel small."
>>
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>>27647427
Luna can go snort moonstones.
I'm gonna fuck every single horse in this goddamned country and there's nothing she can do to stop me.
>>
>>27647466
>Luna watches on in fascinated horror as Anon's mares lock the bedroom door.
>"He's trapped! This is NOT what I meant when I wanted them to couple!"
>Celestia pats Luna on the withers to calm her down.
>>"Do not worry, Sister. Anon is not locked in the room with those mares; those mares are locked in the room with Anon."
>>
>>27647466
How would Luna handle it?
Would she go mad or view it as a challenge

Also are roles unreversed in Luna's point of view, or just plain chastity?
>>
>>27647524
It looks like roles were reversed back in Luna's day, only they were more puritan. A colt with an unshorn fetlock would be grounds for public belly rubbing.
>>
>>27647524

I think she would handle it pretty well. Anon is a different species after all, so assuming his sexual stamina is the same level as a stallion is bad logic.

That being said, she would take it as a challenge. If normal mares can't satisfy this alien, then a Princess of Equestria will!
>>
>>27647544
>"Creature! Thy turgid maleness hast outpaced many a mare, to Our shame. We hath decreed that thou art to be taken into Our custody as not to risk thine impregnating innumerable mares outside of herdlock."
>>
>>27647544
Maybe at first, be outraged by how anon is a promiscuous male, but then be overcomed by how 3 mares can satisfy a single stallion, then leading to what you have in mind

Feels more like Luna's demeanor
>>
>>27647655
This so much this

Also let's say anon can last at least an hour or two just to make things more interesting
>>
>>27647427
>After all this thinking about ponies having lewd dreams of anon, Luna eventually has one herself.
>She has betrayed her own purpose, and must find a better way to protect anon from ponies dreams.
>Clearly he can only be safe right by her side.
>Steals anon away, claiming that her right as ruler lets her choose any mate in the kingdom.
>>
>>27647655
>>27647675

>Luna goes farther than any of her subjects, but still falls to Anon's human stamina.
>She hasn't had sex in 1000 years after all, so she's out of practice.
>>
>>27647655
>You are Anon
>You've been stolen away by dreamhorse because you can fuck real good.
>TOO good.
>You want to be mad, you really do.
>But your house is now a castle, the staff treat you like royalty, and you FINALLY have a sexual partner who doesn't pass out after five minutes.
>You were a bit thrown off when Luna's speech mentioned impregnating mares, but you're an entirely different species.
>Humans can't impregnate ponies, silly dreamhorse!
>....
>R-right?
>>
>>27647765
>Thus rises King Anon, ruler of Equestria.
>With his trusty steedwife, he roams the nation righting wrongs, beating up evil, and making up laws.
>Luna is in over her depth, powerless to stop Anon's enthusiasm.
>"Anonymous, thour laws art too numerous for ourth subjectums."
"No time for those sonnets of yours, my King-Sense is tingling!"
>Anon leaps from the back of his queen and kicks in a random door
>Inside is a pony on the toilet
"EVILDOER, YOUR FOUL WAYS END HERE!"
>Anon holds his kingly sword out at the pooping pony
>"What?"
"THIS SICK FILTH STOPS NOW. STOP DEFILING THIS GOOD NATION WITH YOUR WASTE AND TURN YOURSELF IN."
>"B-but I have irritable bowel syndrome, I have to poop."
>STAB
"BOWELS? NOT IN MY KINGDOM!"
>Anon cuts the intestines out of the pony.
"YOU'RE SAFE FROM THOSE FOUL ORGANS NOW, CITIZEN!"
>Luna just stands there watching in horror at her bloodsoaked husband and the freshly disemboweled pony.
>Anon wipes off his sword and jumps onto Luna's back.
"HEIGH HO LUNA, AND AWAY!"
>The siren of an ambulance can be heard as Anon rides off to his next adventure.
>>
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>>27647930
Oh how adorably naive
>>
>>27647975
YAY!
>>
>>27647946
Durnk, are you ok buddy?
>>
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>>27647975
>>
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>>27648006
>>
>>27648006
>"Pound me into the ground with your cock, Anon!"
>"Please!"
>"No, harder, like this!"
>>
>>27648032

Shouldn't the stallion be asking that question in RGRE?
>>
>>27648032
>Tiny pegasus
>Big pregnant belly
I need this
>>
>>27648041
Poor little horsie doesn't know anymore after being rammed senseless by a giant ape-monster.
>>
>>27648041
>Anon watches on, confused, as a crying and distressed stallion begs a nonplussed mare to "take responsibility" for her own babby belly.

Not all things in my korean porn cartoons translate well when you flip the genders, Anon.
>>
>>27648056

>Dash gets fucked so hard her mental view of gender roles gets switched around
>>
>>27648073

What if self-abortion is viewed as bad in RGRE because the whole POINT of herding is reproduction?
>>
>>27648044
She can't fly very well right now, so you have to carry her sometimes.
>>
>>27648074
>Dash has confusing conversations with Anon when they're fucking
>"Why are all the stallions such bucking pussies?"
"I don't know, Dashie."
>"I think most of the colts here are gay, Anon."
"I wouldn't doubt it."
>>
>>27648105
Anon would gladly carry her around regardless.
>>
>>27648073
She can self-abort, so he literally begs her to not do this.
>>
>>27648099
>>27648120
kindly fuck off
>>
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>>27648105
Too adorable.
>>
>>27648130
Face it, Anon.
Not everyone have to have a pregnancy fetish like you.
>>
>>27648162
And I doubt magical pastel ponies about love and friendship would be so heartless and evil to kill their young.
>>
>>27648162
>Doesn't like talk about killing babies
>"hurr durr pregnancy fetish"

So guys I was putting my shoes on today, right? I guess that means I have a foot fetish.
>>
>>27648182
Technically, undeveloped fetus isn't one of their young yet, or truly alive really.
However, let's not bring theology, religion and other realted crap into the conversetion here....
It will only end in unnessesery butthurt and shitposting.
>>
>>27648244
stop
>>
>>27648004
>>27647946
You know that's how durnk operates. It's funny, drunken ramblings.
>>
>>27648244
Bring the fire mylord
>>
>>27646962
>twilight's only difference is that she's got a mean look on her face
>she could turn pure evil ANY MOMENT
>>
>>27648372

Notice the lack of wings on Evil Twi
>>
>>27648348
stop
>>
>>27648378
I missed that, huh. I guess pre-alicorn twilight is evil.
>>
>>27648389
She has certainly learned a lot of Friendship Lessons since then.
>>
>>
>>27646962
Holy shit, I'd fuck anti-Chrysalis into a puddle. She's fucking amazing.
>>
>>27648882
>swiggity swooty, I'm coming for Anon's booty
>>
>>27648882

>Twilight Spergle
>Alpha Mare

Anon, please. She may be a princess now but she's too much of a shy nerd to ever actually TALK to a colt.
>>
>>27648882
>that round body
This is why real alicorns are better mares. Their larger asses provide more leverage and cushion the force of your thrusts, and their trim stomachs are perfect for showcasing cock-distension and cum inflation.
>>
>>27648923
She likes doing the household's paperwork so that's why she's "official" alpha, but the actual lead mare is someone else.
>>
>>27648997
Earth pony mares are for making babies
>more frequent estrus cycle (bimonthly)
>extremely quick post-birth recuperation, as little as a week and no skips in estrus cycle postpartum period
>high fertility with more common case of twins, triplets or even quintuplets
>bigger teats, increased milk productivity and nutrition, leaves excess almost daily which is commonly used in cooking
>larger hips with more muscle mass, leading to stronger orgasm (for both parties)
>>
>>27649029
>>bigger teats, increased milk productivity and nutrition, leaves excess almost daily which is commonly used in cooking
You have no idea how much I want a Milky Way story. I may end up writing one, but it'll definitely cater toward the fetish she's built for.
>>
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>>27649029
I'd put both earth mares and pegasus mares on equal footing in the breeding race to be honest.
>>
>>27649068
Some pegasus mares called nest-fillers for a reason.
>>
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>>27649068
>>27649099
>you will never build up and create your own large flock to call family
>>
>>27649118
Name your mares.
>>
>Pilot AU..
>Instead of Nightmare Moon returning, a worried Celestia and an astonished Ponyville see an older, more mature Luna returning.
>Being wild-fucked by Anonymous on a hill, visible to all as the sun's rays hit them.
>1000 years ago, Anon orgasmed the Nightmare out of Luna.
>They've been on an extended honeymoon around the multiverse ever since.
>Because she spent a thousand years bumbing it with Anon, she's used to more traditional, human gender-roles.
>Clashes between what was and not what is, especially when Luna metaphorically shits on the idea of being a Princess again and helping Celestia.
>Slice of life sexism, anti-sexism, Celestia incompetently trying to adjust and scheme to get Luna to retake her title.
>Girl Next Door Cadence, who keeps flirting with Anon, much to Luna's iritation.
>>
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Birds could be heard conducting their dawn chorus as Anon shifted in his bed. There was a delightful softness and warmth against his chest, and the smell of vanilla and myrrh filled his nostrils with every breath he took.

He smiled, holding the warmth against his chest. Though it was morning rising and shining could wait for a few more minutes. Comfort like this only came once in a blue moon, and when one did have such a comfort it was nearly a crime to do anything other than bask in it.

“Oh horse feathers. It happened again.”

Anon’s eyes snapped open as his little hamster started its day off at a sprint.

He could see a white horn invading his field of vision. The white, boney appendage was lightly pressed against his jaw. It was short but surprisingly thick, with a swirl that tapered off at the top. Though, it first glance, it looked sharp he knew better. Most unicorns went to great lengths to keep their horns in prime condition, and one aspect of that was dulling the edge so that no one would be accidentally impaled if they just so happened to look down.

He took a deep breath as the warmth shifted slightly against his bare chest. “Rarity?”

Rarity, squirming slightly as Anon ran his fingers through her chest tuft, looked up at him. “Yes, Anonymous dear?”

“It looks like we’re in the same bed together again.”

“It does indeed appear so.”

“Did you lock your doors this time?”

“I locked my doors and set up those surveillance crystals just as I said I would.”
>>
>>27649186
THE PLOT THICKENS!
>>
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>>27649186
“Well, I made sure to triple-check—”

“Anonymous? Would you be a dear and scratch a little higher?” Rarity asked, staring up at him with those big blue eyes of hers.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” the young man muttered with a yawn.

Rarity let out a happy coo as one of his hands traveled up to her neck and began to scratch. Her eyes closed and her back arched slightly as he pressed her horn against his cheek a little more firmly. “Oh you are [i]treasure[/i], Anon my dear,” she groaned.

Anon smiled, resting his chin on top of the fashionista’s head. “Thank you. Now, where was I?”

“You were triple-checking—”

“I triple-checked my locks last night, right, right.”

Still humming, Rarity grabbed the hand scratching her neck and guided it up toward her chin. “Then I suppose it wasn’t some sort of fluke,” she mused, her back leg kicking slightly from the stimulation that she was receiving. “Somepony, for some reason or another, has once again forced you into my bed!”

She wiggled some more, an excited giggle escaping her lips. “Oh, this is [i]just[/i] like my mystery novels!”

"You have novels about stallions being kidnapped and forced into mare's beds."

Though he couldn't see it, a single bead of sweat ran down Rarity's forehead. "I... yes dear. Yes."

The birds once again could be heard as the two lapsed into silence.

“Well, since you have those surveillance crystals we should be able to see who’s doing this right?” Anon questioned.

“Yes, of course we can, Anonymous, my good stallion," Rarity answered, clearing her throat. "But first, I do believe that I shall freshen myself up.”

Anon’s stomach growled. “We should also probably get something to eat,” he advised. “We wouldn’t want to solve this mystery on an empty stomach.”
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>>27649269
“Yes, of course, darling. Now if you would be so kind as so cease your scratching…”

Though it was with some regret, the two crawled out of bed, Rarity making her way toward her bathroom and Anon making his way toward the kitchen so that he could wait until she had “freshened up”. Twenty minutes later the two of them found themselves sitting at Rarity's kitchen table with a small projection crystal sitting in front of them.

The fashionista was squirming excitedly in his lap as she looked at the little crystal. Why she had decided to sit in his lap was beyond him, but, since she had promised to feed him after this was all over, he saw no reason to complain about being used as a cushion.

“Now… Let us see if the crystals picked up anything unusual shall we?” The fashionista said, her horn glowing.

For a moment, reflective surface of the crystal was dim and lifeless but, with a bit more magic, courtesy of Mrs. Rarity, the crystal sparked to life. They could see Rarity’s living room, where she entertained both friends and customers alike.

Horn glowing a little brighter, Rarity sped up the recording.

“Are you sure that these crystals work?”

“Of course I’m sure, dear. These are the best surveillance crystals that bits can buy.”

“I’m not doubting that your crystals weren’t expensive, Rare,” Anon said, looking at the little hunk of rock with a critical eye. “I’m just wondering why a crystal would record and store information.”

Rarity looked up at him, her brow furrowing slightly. “Well, I must admit that I’m not completely familiar with the process, but what I’m lead to believe is that a rather complex spell is cast on the crystals…”

Anon grunted, looking down at the little mare in his lap. “That reminds me. One of these days I'm going to have to release Rockington back into the wild.”
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>>27649148
This has potential to be a clusterfuck or super outstanding. Would read if somebody gives it a shot.
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>>27649318
Rarity blinked slowly, her expression becoming unsure. “…Pardon?”

“I have a pet rock named Rockington that I keep in my kitchen.”

“Why in Equestria would you have a pet rock?”

Anon shrugged. “Well, I normally don’t like animal’s all that much but I saw Rockington just sitting out in the middle of the road all by herself and—”

“Herself?”

“Yeah, Rockington is a gender neutral name, Anyway, I saw—thmp!”

“Shush!” Rarity said, keeping her hoof firmly pressed against his mouth to stem his nonsense. “There’s something on the screen!” Her horn glowed, slowing down the recording to real time.

Both the human and unicorn leaned forward to get a slower look. On the screen the two could see what looked remarkably like Rarity, complete with a frilly sleep mask, which was sitting just above her horn, and slippers, making her way through the living room toward the front door.

“…Is that you, Rare?”

“…I believe so.”

“ Why are you wearing a sleeping mask. And are those cat slippers? Those are really—”

“Shush!”

Rarity walked through her living room almost zombie-like. Though the resolution on the crystal wasn’t all that good it almost looked like the mare’s eyes were closed.
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>>27649360
“Am I sleeping?”

“I think so…”

Shuffling toward the door, Rarity stopped about a foot away from it. Her horn glowed, and the two watched as the door slowly opened, revealing another figure that was standing just outside.

“Is that… me?” Anon muttered, looking on with wide eyes.

“That’s you my dear. I’d know those pajama bottoms anywhere,” Rarity replied.

Anon looked down at said pajama bottoms. “Well, you [i]were[/i] the one that made them.”

“Indeed I did, and I think—”

“Shush!”

“…A gentle stallion does not shush a lady, Anonymous.”

“Hey, you’ve been shushing me all morning. I think I get to have at least [i]one[/i]. Also that's sexists”

Both Rarity and Anon watched as their recordings just stood there for about a minute, both of them swaying back and forth like leaves in a breeze. Suddenly, Rarity turned around and began to make her way back into her living room and toward her stairs. Anon immediately followed, closing the door behind him as the two of them disappeared up the stairs.

Rarity’s horn glowed, and with a spell the crystal was turned off. There was an awkward, confused tension in the air as both her and Anon milled over what they had just seen. Rarity, with a lady-like click of the tongue, leaned back against Anon.
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>>27649133
>fluttershy
>blossomforth
>raindrops
>cloudchaser
>flitter
the featheriest
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>>27649401
Aight. Coolio.
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>>27649391
“Well… that was…”

Anon scratched his chin as he looked down at the crystal in front of him. “Can we talk about those cat slippers? Because I still really want to talk about them.”

With a guffaw, the fashionista looked up at the young man. “Anon! I believe that there are more important things to discuss than [i]slippers[/i].”

“They’re really [i]cute[/i] slippers!”

With a groan of disgust, Rarity hopped out of Anon’s lap. “So it appears that my initial assumption was incorrect,” she muttered as she began to pace the kitchen. “No one has been putting us in the same bed as a form of elaborate prank. It also appears that nopony is trying to ruin mine and your reputation by making us sleep together.”

“And you didn’t kidnap me from my house to have your way with me either,” Anon helpfully added, only to be ignored.

“…Unless some sort of magic has been casted on the two of us, one that forces our bodies to be close to one another when we sleep? Or perhaps it is some other sort of magical anomaly? Could some unknown fiend be doing this to us for some diabolical purpose in a way which we cannot possibly guess at?”

Rarity swooned, a hoof going to her forehead. “Oh this is simply the [i]conundrum[/i]!


Anon smacked his lips together as he leaned back into his chair. “We could always go to Twilight to see if she could help us out,” he offered. “That mare [i]loves[/i] conundrums, and any other words with more than three syllables. I’m sure she could help us in a jiffy.”

Rarity bit her lip. “Perhaps… though I’d much prefer it if we waited another day or two so that I could acquire more data.”

“Alright, if you want,” Anon chirped. “Maybe the last two nights were just a fluke.”
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>>27649218
Like muh dick
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>>27649430
“Exactly. The last two nights could be nothing more than serendipitous happenstance,” the unicorn agreed, walking back over and hopping back into his lap. “Now that that bothersome business is out of the way, what would you like for breakfast, Anon dear?”

Once again Anon quietly wondered why Rarity was sitting in his lap but nevertheless found himself wrapping his arms around her barrel. Rarity let out a hum, pressing herself against chest.

“I can make pancakes like I did last time,” he offered.

Rarity looked up at him with a smile. “That sounds wonderful, darling. Though give it a moment would you? I’m sure you’re as exhausted as I watching that recording.”

Taking a deep breath, she grabbed and hand and lifted it up to her chest. "Let's just sit here for a moment or two longer. I wouldn't want you fainting or some such thing."

“…Yeah, I [i]do[/i] think I need to sit a little longer to catch my breath.”

Rarity’s smile widened just a hair. “There’s a good stallion,” she murmured, rubbing herself against his chest. "A very good stallion."
>>
>>27649466
Alright, I'm done. I forgot to tell you guys that this fic goes by days. So this chapter would be Tuesday and the next will be Wednesday, etc. Once again tell me what you think. you guys are reading the rough draft so if you have any ideas or suggestions that you want me to put in/fix let me hear it.
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>>27649466
>she grabbed and hand and lifted it up to her chest
Wot.
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>>27649483
Was fun, but do you really need that many underlines? It's like with comics and the constant bolding. It loses its effect.
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>>27649531
Its italics, not underline.

>>27649486

>She grabbed his hand and lifted it to her chin

There, fixed it
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>>27649531
Err, italics. Not underlines.
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>>27649269
>“Oh you are [i]treasure[/i], Anon my dear,”
>you are 'a' treasure
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>>27648909
Yeah, that was the one interesting thing in that trainwreck of an arc. Reversalis is the element of love, and operates like a fairy godmother, while the rest of the changelings are running a Cupid racket as love bugs. Her appearance there is also what changelings look like when they're loved and not starving to death.
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>>27649466
CLEARLY they're meant for each other.
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>>27649483
Very cute. I'm looking forward to more.
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>>27649662
Damn. See, that's interesting enough to read about. Too bad the rest of the comic sounds like a train wreck, I could get into that.
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>>27649483
I'm totally okay with more petting and cuddling.
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>>27649148
MAKE THIS A THING!!!
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>>27647863
>further that any subjects
still only lasts 2 mins, tops
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>>27649133

Rarity
Fluttershy
Derpy
Lyra
And Applejack
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>>27645390
>>And, “If you ever call me Ken-doll again, I’ll fold you up like a pretzel, slather you in cheese, and eat you on my cheat day.”
Will this meme never die? Cheat day is for fat women and numale cucks. Real bodybuilding requires dieting and discipline, and if you need a day to gorge on unhealthy shit, you should hang up your weights and become a fat fucking gordon ramsey chef faggot.
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>>27650812
>"Uh, akchually!"
Step back for a second and read your post. You just couldn't help yourself and sperged all over a joke line in a jokey greentext story. Then you went away feeling satisfied, as though everyone here would be grateful or admire you for your "knowledge."
Well how do you feel now?
Because you look like a stupid asshole.
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>>27649466
I like this. It's comfy and while it isn't fast paced by any stretch, I kind of don't want it to be.
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>>27649662
Really? Any images that compare the two?
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>"A-Anon! What are you doing with my Amare Amarth album?"
"Actually, this is my Amare Amarth album. I bought it myself. And to answer your question, I'm listening to it."
>"B-but that's not stallion music! You're supposed to like Sapphire Shores and Adere!"
"Don't get me wrong, I like all music. but heavy metal was my first love, and I'll always come back to it."
>"L-lewd..."
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>>27651422
>mid-tier pone listens to top tier music
I am conflicted
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Hmm... we need more Princess Whoredance trying to be lewd with Anon.
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>>27651737
>mid-tier pone
Do you want me to smack a bitch? Because you're looking for a smacking
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>>27651737
>top tier music
Metalhead pls. You can't fucking tier music. It's all subjective shit. Waifus, however, is a different story.
>>
Anyone remember that story where Anon becomes a race car driver? Is there a pastebin for that?
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Still waiting on anon being God story BNW is making
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>>27649353
um... you know the context in which this could be a clusterfuck... because that sounds like something i really want to read.
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>>27649662
>>Her appearance there is also what changelings look like when they're loved and not starving to death.

I'd read green which took advantage of that
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>>27652387
FIRE ER UP MAN
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>>27652387
http://pastebin.com/Z8MTmJeD
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>>27645390
stealth-finishing an update

>You are Twilight Sparkle, and you were silently thanking spike for training you to always raise a bubble shield at the first sign of unexpected green flame.
>He had burped a lot as a tiny little drake, and you’d had to visit the barber more than one time to trim up the singed parts of your mane after a bout of indigestion on his part.
>The wave of fire had rolled through the square, and even through the cracks around the door, filling the internal space of Sugarcube Corner a few moments later.
>Pinkie was close enough that she had been inside your impromptu shield spell, and was taken completely off guard.
“Pinkie, are you alright?”
>Your voice was loud, and tone sharp.
>You’d seen too much, too often, to lose your head now.
>She blinks in surprise.
>”Twilight . . . I didn’t get a warning.”
>She looks at you, for the very first time in all of your crazy, dangerous, and in her case frequently zany, adventures, with a look of fear.
>”Twilight . . . I didn’t get a Pinkie Sense. Not a quiver, or a tingle, or even a twitch. Nothing.”
>She stared at you, frozen in place, her eyes slowly shrinking to pinpricks as she began to quiver in abject terror.
>She begins to babble incomprehensibly as you push out of the booth, trying to get to the door when you trip over something.
>You stifle as shout as you realize it was a body, but your worst fears are quickly allayed when you realized that the middle aged mare was breathing, even if it was fast and shallow.
>Not wasting any time, you levitate her up off the floor and onto a nearby table, doing your best to ignore Pinkie’s panic stricken state as you assess the mare’s condition.
>It was stable, for the time being, but as you probed and felt her aura, it was like dipping your hoof into a whirlpool.
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>>27653389
>The life was flowing out of her, at a prodigious rate.
>It was all she could do to keep her heart beating.
>How was this even possible?
>Magic simply didn’t behave like this.
>You are shaken from your confused stupor by a loud crash and the clatter of silverware.
>Your head snaps over to catch sight of Pinkie crashing to the ground, having overturned a table before face planting, entirely unconscious.
“Pinkie!”
>You call out to her, rushing over, your horn lighting up as you try to prop her into a seated position against the base of one of the booth seats.
>It doesn’t even take a scan this time to see it.
>You can literally see the energy being torn from her body, it must have caused her to faint.
>It’s like a faint blur around the edge of her form, like chalk sidewalk art running in the rain, or sand being swept away in a river.
>You can feel it too, like the drain of a particularly powerful spell tugging at your energy reserves.
>You do your best to shake it off, this was almost nothing compared to that time you placated an Ursa Minor.
>Still, you needed to find where all this energy was draining to, and fast.
>You could take the strain, but some of the elderly ponies around town couldn’t stand up to this for much longer.
>Glancing around, it looked like you were the only one who could take the strain.
>And Anonymous! He was out there too!
>You mentally slap yourself.
>If you had handled the situation a bit better, he would be here right now, where you could at least make sure he was . . . safe? Safe from what though? Could you even protect him?
>The summoning . . . had you closed the gateway before you passed out?
>. . .
>Oh sweet Celestia no . . .
>If you had left a rift to every realm connected by infernal summons . . .
>You prayed to every power you believed in, and even a few that you didn’t, that Spike was still at Sweet Apple Acres.
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>>27653394
>You run as fast as your legs will carry you back toward the Library, and nearly fall down when you round the last corner.
>A powerful blast of wind sucked the strength from your body, its fell nature cutting you to the bone with a coldness that shouldn’t even be possible.
>Even as you stagger toward it, you’re blinded by the pillar of light emanating from a crater that used to be your home.
>You’d be stricken by pangs of grief for your destroyed home if it weren’t for the overwhelming panic that you were doing your best to force down.
“SPIKE!”
>You shout at the top of your lungs, your hoarse shriek barely audible above the heavy, rumbling roar of whatever unnatural thing was attempting to claw its way into the world.
>You summon up a great spell, drawing on deep reserves of magic you normally wouldn’t touch outside of an emergency situation, but you were fairly certain this qualified.
>A spell of warding, of banishment, of sealing and sanctification, meant to blast anything in that rift back from whence it came and to plug the gaping tear in reality.
>The charge built on your horn, a mass of crackling purple lightning slowly being shaped into a sphere larger than yourself, by several times over.
>You let loose the tremendous concentration of magical power in a single blast, the power of the spell blowing out windows on both sides of the boulevard, and singing the ground beneath its path of travel, before it suddenly halted, and began to shrink rapidly, draining away into nothing.
>Squinting in exhausted confusion, you made out an odd shape, almost lost in the blinding brightness.
>Something deep inside you, even before you realized what you were looking at, told you to be afraid.
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>>27653405
>It was a fear born not of experience, or even evolution, but of the soul.
>A thing that should not be stepped out of the light, its dark majesty freezing you in place with its oppressive presence.
>The fear of an incomprehensible void fills your soul in that moment, before a high pitched shriek filled your ears.
>You don’t even recognize that the shrieking voice is your own, you’re much too frightened for that.
>In your mind, you are a helpless child again, trapped in a nightmare where you can’t wake up.
>Again and again you have placed faith in your abilities that had always carried you through, only to find that they were not enough.
>A bitter, icy laughter fills the air, or maybe just your head, you can’t really be sure, and it probably doesn’t make a difference.
>”You thought you could elude me? That your wretch of a sire could save you from my grasp? I am Nehzek, the Aphelion King, the Dead-Speaker, the Great Devourer. I am not merely your death, I am your end.”
>It has a voice is a mixture of high and low tones, synthesized from the buzzing of a thousand flies and the sound of meat tearing.
>It was not something meant to be heard by mortal ears, and those that did were not given enough time to comprehend its nature.
>You try and scream again, but this time, no sound comes out.
>It is upon you, suddenly, not particularly caring for the concepts of time, or distance.
>Those were for lesser beings.
>As you stare at the shadow, growing ever larger, it feels like someone has put your heart in a vice, and is actively sucking the breath from your lungs.
>>
>>27653417
>You struggle look up at its face, and find a distorted skull of bleached bone, long faced, like a horse, but with horns like a bull.
>The eyes, 4 of them, bore into your own, glowing with an unholy light, and thick black ichor seeps from between its fanged jaws, causing the ground to hiss and burn where the droplets strike the ground.
>Swaddled in rotting cloth, it must be at least 8 feet tall, its twisted bipedal form towering over you.
>Strips of flesh, which you doubted were the creatures own, dangle from moldering bone, inscribed with icons and symbols that make the eyes ache of those who look on them.
>Four arms project from its torso, each pair of limbs meeting in front of its chest in a cruel mockery of prayer.
>The smell of rotting flesh and sulphur washes over you as the skeletal form floats at you silently, its feet hanging inches off the ground.
>If every muscle in your body wasn’t frozen in terror, you’d soil yourself.
>Not even nightmares were this terrifying.
>”Your gods will prostrate themselves before me, begging for mercy, offering your kind up as sacrifices to my insatiable hunger, and when I have gorged myself on every last morsel of life on this plane, I will consume those pitiful charlatans as well. Of all the simpering creatures to befoul this existence with the disgusting stench of life . . . Twilight Sparkle, you are my favorite. For it was you who invited me to this grand feast, and as is befitting of your status of host . . . I will use your body as just that. Within the darkness of your corrupted body and flayed soul, I will forge an avatar that will darken the stars.”
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>>27649662
>>27653327
>When a changeling isn't starved, they have a "Full, complete" look to them.
>When fed freely given love, they can actually metamorphosize into enrapturingly beautiful FlutterPonies.
>But no one wants to give...
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>>27653425
>It tilted its head back as its mouth unhinged itself, and a thick, glistening, wet tendril of rotting meat studded with ossified barbs and weeping sores slithered out, coiling loosely around its body with a disgusting squelch.
>The forked tip inched toward you slowly, drawn in by the heat of your still living body, or perhaps the raw essence of your terror.
>You want to run, to scream, to flinch, to flee, but all you can do is stare into the orbs of baleful light glowing deep in the recesses of the abominable things eye sockets as the impossibly long tendril gently caresses the side of your face.
>”FUUUUUUUUUUCK-”
>The tendril slurps back into the fell creature’s head as it whirls around toward the source of the sound.
> . . . Anonymous?
>You identify the object flying through the air as your biological father a half second before he plants both his feet on the things chest and drop kicks it halfway across the street.
>”-YOOOOUUU!”
>He crashes to the ground with a grunt, and, after recovering surprisingly quickly, hops to his feet, hands clenched into fists of rage.
>”Keep yo nasty ass mouth tentacles THE FUCK. OFF. MY. DAUGHTER.”
>Anon punctuated the last few words of his command with several powerful, stomping blows to the creature's chest cavity, crushing it like brittle paper mache.
>You collapse to the ground, it’s powers no-longer holding you frozen in place.
>Apparently, the sheer surprise and ferocity of his assault had taken the creature completely off guard.
>It was far less intimidating when it was folded up heap of strange bones in the gutter.
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>>27653433
>Before you could muster up a spell to assist him, Anonymous was laying about the creature’s head and shoulders with what appeared to be a scavenged chair leg.
>Each blow reaped a fresh crop of shattered bone and spattered ichor.
>While your magic had done nothing but amuse it, blunt force trauma seemed to have the desired effect of disabling it.
>This was becoming rapidly evident as it attempted to defend itself from the savage beating Anonymous was dispensing, succeeding only in having its arm ripped off, then used as an improvised club.
>You were awestruck for a moment, by the terrible fury and savagery with which he was ravaging this creature, this nightmare made manifest.
>You idly wondered if this was the freak strength that some stallions displayed when their foals were put in harm’s way, able to single hoofedly lift overturned carts and the like.
>The absolute fearlessness of his assault caught you as well.
>The utter disregard for self-preservation as his body was spattered in that caustic ichor, and how he seemed to utterly ignore it, even when his improvised club had begun to smolder from the acidic, tar like substance seeping from what you would best describe as his victim.
>Perhaps he really did care about you. It’d be unreasonable for him to immediately assume a paternal role, but it’d also be equally irrational to believe that he wouldn’t experience basic male nurturing instinct toward his offspring.
>You had only really known each other for the better part of the morning.
>But, you couldn’t really deny that on some level, you had connected instantly.
>”Twilight! Are you hurt?”
>>
>>27653433
Dubs confirm Anon is a man and a half
And Nehzek likely has huge guts
>>
>>27653445
>You snap out of your internal dialogue as you suddenly realize that, one, you are still in the middle of a crisis, two, there is still an abomination from beyond your reality in the street, and three, a colt had done almost all of the fighting.
>His brow, furrowed with concern, was a stark contrast to the savage grimace he wore during his bout of single combat with the beast.
“N-no . . . not physically at least.”
>You manage to stammer out.
>Your legs felt like jelly, your vision was starting to blur, and you were barely strong enough to manage a teleportation spell.
>Brightening up immediately, Anonymous shoots back, ”Good. Then help me get fugly here back into whatever hellhole he crawled out of.”
>He’s currently holding . . . about half of a shattered skeleton, now completely inanimate, save for the glowing orbs resting in the thing’s skull.
>One of its legs is missing, and all of the arms are gone.
>As anon stands and hoists its shattered frame onto his back, the leg finally gives out, exploding into dust as it falls off and impacts the ground.
>Only the skull remains intact, the rest of the body simply crumbling into dust as the fetid burial shroud is blown into the light by an intangible wind.
>”Huh . . . that’ll be easier to carry.”
>Anon nonchalantly lets the skull drop to his side, hanging on to one of the remaining horns, the other having been broken off somewhere in the fight.
>You stare, slack jawed, from a mixture of magical exhaustion, shock, heart pounding terror, and utter bewilderment.
“What did you . . . how . . . what are you?”
>>
>>27653459
>He glances over his shoulder at you as he shrugs.
>”What? My third step-dad was a tax lawyer. This guy-“ He shakes the skull at you. “-is some pansy shit compared to that.”
>He leans in closer to you, eyes wide.
>You have two thoughts at this moment, one, that you never really considered that your father might not be from the same type of world as you, and two, you really should have asked him more about his world, rather than just talking about his feet on the way to breakfast.
>The way he’s dealing with this . . . you’re starting to understand why the summoning to bring him here was so sinister.
>Nodding solemnly, Anonymous strolls toward the dimensional rift connecting equestrian to half a dozen dead voids and hellscapes, as if he was taking a leisurely stroll in the park, showing off a new saddlebag, rather than preparing to hurl the binding vessel of a greater incarnation of death back into the howling void that spawned it.
>He pats his leg gently with his free hand. ”C’mon kiddo, we’ve got a world to save.”
>>
>>27653455
Once upon a time, when DoomGuy busted a nut from his MurderRageboner, a single sperm shot through the dimensions, and Anons grandpa was born, he would go on to furiously murder hundreds of slanteyes in WWII.
>>
>>27653476
>Silhouetted against the rift, with trails of smoke rising off his clothing from where the caustic vital fluids were burning it, you feel a twinge of confidence.
>Your dad, Night Light, tucked you in, read you stories, and checked under your bed for monsters.
>Anonymous, your father, came to you from across dimensions when you called for him, saved you from a dark god, and then tore it limb from limb for threatening you.
>There was a strange warmth spreading through your chest as you did your best to trot after him.
>Sure, you were out of breath, your body ached from where your muscles had been frozen in place, and you could feel the last of your magical power being sucked from your body into an infinite, dead void.
>And sure, this was pretty much all your fault.
>But . . . you were still stuck with a creeping certainty that everything would turn out alright . . . because Anonymous was here.
>You didn’t know it on a conscious level, but as you fell in line behind him you held your head a bit higher, and there was just a bit more confidence in your step.
>Your father was here. He’d protect you. Make things right.
>Maybe it was the extreme fatigue talking . . . but you believed it.
>>
>>27653433
DYNAMIC ENTRY
>>
>>27653486
So, X Gon Give It To Ya is playing throughout Anon's vicious and brutal beatdown, right?
>>
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>>27653433
>>27653445
>>27653459
>>27653476
>>27653486
>mfw I just saw the entirety of Ash vs Evil Dead today.
>mfw Amphetanon just happens to update as well.
>mfw this update.
>>
Alright, that's all of it. Back on a phone. Goddamn starbucks is overpriced.

This was actually sort of a plot device I just had too much fun with. So . . . Yeah. Got out of hand.

Constructive criticism encouraged.
Regular criticism welcome.
Petty criticism at least lets me know I got you to read it.
OH FUCK I FORGOT TO UPDATE THE PASTEBIN

SHIT
>>
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>>27653655
>This was actually sort of a plot device I just had too much fun with.
If B rated movies have taught me anything is that you can never have too much fun, no matter how insane the situation might seem.
>>
>>27653655
>Using allusions
It's OK, but don't overdo it. Relying on references would just eventually change your story into a shitpost, albeit a bit more artsy.
>>
>>27653728
A glittery turd, if you will.
>>
>>27653389
thank god its back
>>
>>27653486
soooo, where did the father thing come from?
>>
>>27653896
I'm also wondering this but I think it might just be a poetry sorta deal
>>
>>27653486
>2 dads
>Not just "Proper Dad" and "Other Dad"
Good work, Amp.
>>
>>27653986
It's the RGRE equivalent of this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uy3Fb51GfdE
>>
Is coltdom still a thing here?

>Twi & Anon save the world
>Anon is beat up, bleeding, and wants to sleep for 14 hours
>Twilight finally introduces Anon as one of her dads to the rest of the Mane 6
>"That thing is your dad?"
>Anon is out of patience
>Anon angrily gives the long and short of his and Twi's adventure and ends it with:
"Yeah, I'm her dad. The fuck is it to you?"
>Rainbow Dash gets stiff wings and she doesn't know why
>>
>>27654041
kek
I want this.
>>
>>27654041
And I just realized how fucking stupid that sounds. My bad, rgrie thread.
>>
>>27653655
Will there be more or is that story over now?
>>
>>27645374

what's your pastebin? I found one with yourname, but it seems that the cuts off at meeting pinkie
>>
>>27654489
>>27653655
>>
>>27653655
This is good, methbro. I hope that you've got more of it planned?
>>
>>27653896
>>27653956
If you read his previous installments, you'll see why. This is a continuation of a story.
>>
>page 8
>>
>>27653655
Moar
>>
>>27653486
a good father apparently will beat a dimension hopping god of death to smithereens with its own arm for threatening his daughter
>>
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>>27653486
Well, that was a rather terrifying description of the creature, along with a rather hilarious conclusion of it.
10/10 would read again
>>
>>27655898
I have a rather highly relevant image for this, but it's on my desktop at home...
>>
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>>27655898
>>27655938
Best I got.
>>
>>27653476
>>The way he’s dealing with this . . . you’re starting to understand why the summoning to bring him here was so sinister.
This... this right here.

Fantastic.
>>
>>27655898
A good father doesn't let his horse daughter get killed by a skeletal death god. I'm actually a little disappointed it didn't mention stuffing Twilight into a bag.
>>
>>27656065
>"Nice job, jackass. You opened up a hole in space and time and then forgot to close it. Get in the fucking bag!"
>>
Poor, tiny mares, helpless against the wiles of alien stallions.
>>
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>>27656136
HELPLESS!
>>
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>>27656136
>>27656153
HELPLEEEESS!
>>
>>27656136
I think you mean helpless against the ~whimsy~ of alien stallions.
>>
>>27653728
>implying it isn't a shitpost already

>>27653562
The original dialogue for anon was from The Boondocks, but as funny as I thought it was, the skeleton never told Anon to 'Eat a dick nigga', so it didn't really work.

>>27653896
Someone slung out a prompt a few months back, and I was hopped up at the time, so I wrote like 4k in 6 hours on it and posted that shit.

>>27653896
>>27653956
http://pastebin.com/4FTQmPf8
Finally fixed that shit

>>27654005
Fuck. I regret everything . . . But I am stepped in so far that should I wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o'er.

>>27654460
>>27655207
I'm about 1/3 done with what I had planned for this story, and I have 2 more lined up after I finish this one.

>>27654489
http://pastebin.com/4FTQmPf8

>>27655898
A good father would at least try.

>>27656089
>>27656065
I've been consciously trying to make the sequences from Twilight's point of view more . . . serious? I think the contrast is important to maintain, as Anon is coming from a world that is, quite frankly, far more bleak, depressing, and violent. He's been numbed to the gravity of the situation somewhat by media coverage of tragedy, a culture that has normalized violence, and his own personal hardships.
>>
>>27656341
>ve been consciously trying to make the sequences from Twilight's point of view more . . . serious? I think the contrast is important to maintain, as Anon is coming from a world that is, quite frankly, far more bleak, depressing, and violent. He's been numbed to the gravity of the situation somewhat by media coverage of tragedy, a culture that has normalized violence, and his own personal hardships.
It's good, the contrast is good. It's entertaining.
>>
>>27656341
>I'm about 1/3 done with what I had planned for this story, and I have 2 more lined up after I finish this one.
Are those other two continuations of this story or are they their own things?

>I've been consciously trying to make the sequences from Twilight's point of view more . . . serious?
The contrast is obvious, though to me Twilight's isn't the more serious of the two. I'd characterize Twilight's as the more academic of the two. Anon is just regular dude having regular dude thoughts about being in an irregular world. Twilight is trying to process and parse this like a scientist or other type of intellectual.

Her tangents, by the way, are adorable.
>>
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>>27646962
>Spike is the same on both sides
>Spike has perfect inner-balance
Spike notices that the mane 6 have switched. Doesn't care because he's too zen.
>>
>Twilight asks Anon how to pick up stallions.
>RGRE confusion is inevitable.
>Shenanigans ensue.
>>
>>27656925
I don't know I don't like stallions.
>Twilight assumes Anon is a lesbian and is hitting on her
>Can't run away fast enough from her own gay thoughts, no matter how fast her little hooves takes her
>>
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>>27656988

>"YOU CAN'T CATCH ME GAY THOUGHTS!
>YES WE CAN
>>
>>27656988
It's by getting tips from Anon that she later realizes he's the only one for her.

Mostly because she realizes he's the only stallion she's not related to which she can talk normally without turning everything around her into spaghetti... most of the time, at least.
>>
>>27657053
>>27656988
>Anon hits on Twilights mom
>She can't escape from her gay thoughts either
>Human flirting too stronk and they end up in the bedroom
>Twilight's mom is disappointed/relieved Anon is not a woman
>Twilight's mom is astounded and aroused from the hot monkey dick though
>>
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>>27657234
>>
>>27649483
I like it. So far not much has happened, so I don't know where you want to go with it, but it's cute.
>>
page 8? The fuck?
>>
>>27657270
>You are Twilight, and you stand with your family (sans Anonymous, sadly) as you gaze upon the sad sight before you.
>Your mother speaks up, sneaking a handkerchief out of her horsepocket to wipe her eye.
>She'll swear up and down that she was using the old, dirty rag the uses to clean scuffs off of her carriage, but you know that she's just trying to stay as maresculine as possible.
>She wants to be strong for you.
>"I can't believe I let Anonymous spend all of our hard-earned bits on that thing."
>You sigh explosively, the sound half-way between an exasperated noise a sob.
"I know. That has to be THE worst-built side table I've ever seen."
>Your brother, who had been silent up until now, speaks.
>>"It doesn't even go with any of our furniture. How will I ever buy throw pillows when that... THING doesn't even match the decor of the room?"
>You resist the urge to laugh madly in your grief.
>That was just... so "Shining" that it hurt.
>You and your mother begin to tear up as you consider your regrets.
>Imagine all the things you could have bought.
>All the nights out you could have enjoyed.
>All those corndogs you could have eaten.
>But not any more. Not now that Anon has drained your savings by buying a stupid table.
>The thought makes you and your family weep.
>>
>>27656925
"How do I ask a stallion out, Anon? I-I-I mean, y-YOU'RE a stallion, and YOU know what you like, right?"
>Anonymous, thankfully oblivious to your distress, rests a hand on his chin and hums to himself.
>"Well, Twi, just lift your tail and present yourself to your stallion of choice. Guys will stick their dicks into just about anything with a vagina; trust me."
>It's that easy?!
>Hot dang!
"Thanks, Anon! I knew I could count on you!"
>You return fifteen minutes later with a black eye.
>>
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>"A-Anon?! What in Equestria are you smoking?"
"A cigar."
>"I... I can see that. Why?"
"Cause I like em."
>"But you're a stallion! You're supposed to smoke cigarettes from a long holder!"
"Meh, pony cigarettes are weak compared to human smokes, even when you cut off the filters."
>"And- Is that Zebra Tobacca?! The finest brand of imported cigars?!"
"Is it that good? Not as much flavor as my old Cubans.
>>
>>27658611
I want the 30 seconds of my life back that it took to read this shit.
>>
>>27658761
But I don't smoke.
>>
There was an odd sort of silence in the Sparkle household. It wasn’t tense, or fearful, or even excited. It was a confused sort of silence, as if the residents of said household didn’t know quite what they were looking at.

“…Huh, so you weren’t just messing with me…” Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship herself, looked up from the surveillance crystal that he had been staring at for the last five minutes with a flabbergasted expression. “And you’re saying that this has been happening for the last couple of days?”

Rarity and Anon, both of whom were sitting on a pair of [i]very[/i] tasteful beanbag chairs with coffee mugs in hands/hooves, nodded.

“Yep. It started on Monday,” the young man said, taking a sip of his coffee.

Twilight looked over at Rarity, her eyes narrowing. “And you’re sure Rarity hasn’t done anything you’re not okay with, Anonymous?”

Rarity gasped. “Twilight! How could you say such a thing?!”

“Well… you know how you get, Rarity,” the princess replied.

“See? She knows how you get too, Rare,” Anon said over his coffee mug. “And no, she hasn’t done anything lewd to my person, Twi.”

“Well…” Scratching her head, Twilight looked back at the crystal. “That’s… peculiar.”

Rarity, with a ladylike hump, set her coffee mug down on the little table in front of her. “Twilight, darling, Anonymous and I have done everything in our power to discover what on earth’s going on—”

“Eh,” Anon grunted with a shrug.

“—But I fear our investigation as to what is happening isn’t getting us [i]anywhere[/i]!” Pressing a hoof against her temple, the fashionista looked at her friend. “Though we are loathe to do so—”
>>
>>27658910
HEY LAP
>>
>>27658910
“Eh.”

“—Shush, Anonymous. Though we are loathe to do so, I’m afraid that we have to ask you for your assistance.”

Twilight’s brow furrowed slightly. “So... you want me to help you figure out why you—” She pointed at Anon. “—Are sleepwalking to Rarity’s house and why you—” She pointed at the fashionista. “—Are not only opening the door for him but leading him to your bedroom.”

A blush came to Rarity’s cheeks. “I wouldn’t have… phrased it such, my dear Twilight, but I’m afraid that you’re correct.”

The princess hummed thoughtfully as she leaned back into the royal beanbag chair. Scratching her chin, she looked at the two. Her horn glowed, and with a spell her magic encased both the human and the unicorn.

“Hmmm. As far as I can tell there’s magical residue on either of you,” she muttered, nose scrunching up slightly. “So nopony cast any type of spell on you…” Tapping her chin with a hoof she stood up. “Tell me, did the two of you wake up in the same bed this morning?”

“Yeah, just like the last two days. Why?”

A smile came to alicorn’s face. It was an eager, overly excited, beaming smile. The kind of smile that one wore if they enjoyed mundane tasked far more than the average person, such as organizing books and collecting stamps.

“Well, since this isn’t the result of magic, at least as far as I can see, there’s only one way that we can solve this mystery!” the princess said with a flap of her wings.

“And how do we solve this mystery Velma?”

“Anonymous…”
>>
>>27654049
it was good. don't feel bad
>>
>>27656044
Based Doom for providing proper RIP AND TEAR reactions.
>>
>>27658937
“What? You’re already the Daphne of the group and Twilight can’t be Shaggy or Fred. You might be able to make a case of her being Scooby Dooby Do but I figured—”

“Shush.”

"But--"

"SHUSH."

With a giggle, Twilight’s horn glowed, and with a pop a notepad and a quill appeared beside her. “We’re going to solve this mystery with [i]science[/i].” the princess chirped, looking at both the human and unicorn with barely contained excitement. “Oh, this is just like back when we were on the train going to the National Dessert Competition!”

Though she could feel a slightly headache coming on, Rarity smiled gently at her friend. “Now, Twilight dear, I believe that you used inductive reasoning more than science on that little adventure of ours.”

“Forensic SCIENCE is a very respected field, Rarity,” the princess told the fashionista as she yanked both her and Anon to their feet/hooves. “And just like most sciences I’m very well versed in it. Now, if the two of you could follow me we can begin.”

“So we’re not splitting up gang?” Anon asked, rubbing his hands together. “Fantastic. I’m getting sick of being chased by a guy in a goofy outfit.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Whatever am I going to do with you, my dear?” she asked, playfully bumping him with her rump.

His brow furrowed. “NOT solve mysteries with me while driving around in a big drug van I guess…”

If Rarity had thought herself quite the private dick she was nothing more than a flickering candle flame compared to the blazing sun that was Twilight Sparkle. Dozens of books were floating over her head, she had equipment that the human and unicorn had never seen and who’s use they couldn’t even begin to determine. Under her breath, Twilight was muttering about theories and charts and Scooby Snacks. The purple alicorn must have asked the two at least half a hundred questions as she led them through the labyrinth of hallways that made up her castle.
>>
>>27658990
What have you been eating the last few days? Have you been feeling under the weather? Have you met anypony new that seemed just a bit suspicious? Were you wearing a new set of socks and underwear? Do you snore? Have either of you booped the other in the last one hundred and twenty hours? Do you have any knowledge of either of your homes being built on ancient deer burial grounds? These and many, many, [i]many[/i] more questions bombarded Anon and Rarity as they followed Twilight to their doom wherever she was taking them.

While Rarity had had a more laissez-faire approach to her investigation, namely doing nothing but eating all the pancakes that her new bed buddy made in the mornings and napping on her divan afterward, Twilight wanted results immediately and without delay. She wanted her questions answered, she wanted tests conducted and observations observed and she wanted it all to be a hundred percent accurate and on point. Which was why, after a few minutes of questions being flung at them with machine gun-like speed, they found themselves in one of Twilight’s guest rooms, standing in front of a bed.

“Alright, I’m going to need you two to get into that bed and cuddle,” Twilight said as she quickly scribbled something down onto her notepad.

Rarity blinked. “…Pardon?”

“I need you and Anon to get in that bed and cuddle, Rarity.”

A hint of red could be seen on Rarity's cheeks as she coughed into a hoof. “And why would you need us to do [i]that[/i], Twilight dear?”

“The two of you have been waking up in each other’s hooves every morning, so I’d thought I’d see if there was anything unusual about how you two slept together,” Twilight immediately responded, looking up from her notes to flash her friend a smile. “Even though we might not get anything out of it I’d still like to explore every avenue.”
>>
>>27658761

Would getting lung cancer or other health problems from smoking be a thing in RGRE?
>>
>>27659054
“I-If you must,” Rarity hesitantly said, looking over at Anon, who was already kicking his shoes off. The young man, feeling her gaze on him, looked up and smiled. She, with a slightly nervous giggle, found herself smiling back.

“Great! Now if the two of you can get into the bed I can start to observe and ask questions,” Twilight said, prompting them forward with a wing.

Without saying a word, Anon walked over to the bed, pulling down the blue covers before he sat down. Rarity, her heart thumping just a [i]little[/i] more wildly than it had before the three of them had entered the room, trotted over and hopped right next to him. “It’s not as nice as your bed, Rare,” the young man said, rubbing the cover in his hand with his thumb and pointer finger. “And these covers aren’t all that great…”

Rarity giggled, leaning against him. “Well, I suppose we shall have to have to make that most of what we are provided,” she said, giving his shoulder a nuzzle.

Twilight, looking up from her notes, watched as the fashionista crawled into the bed and under the covers. Anon, bouncing on the bed once or twice, quickly joined her. “The subjects still seem to be tense. Observing them in their preferred environment without their knowledge might have been a wiser option…”

“Twilight, if we are to do this I’d very much appreciate it if you weren’t so vocal,” Rarity panned, her blush darkening. “And I’d very much appreciate it if you did not call us [i]subjects[/i]. Please.”

“Oh, right… hehe,” the royal bookworm muttered as she hid behind her notepad, a sheepish smile coming to her face. “Sorry. I’ll let you two get adjusted before I start [i]chatting[/i] away.”
>>
>>27659078
With a sigh, fashionista rolled over as Anon laid down, scooching closer as he rolled onto his side. Arms and hooves found themselves wrapping around bodies as the two pressed their bodies against each other. Rarity’s muzzle found itself nestled in the crook of Anon’s neck, her horn lightly pressed against his cheek, while one of his hands found its way to her mane, scratching her scalp. Another sigh could be heard, this time from both of them, as they settled themselves down, their bodies adjusting slightly as they tried to find the cuddle sweet spot. Getting himself as comfortable as he could in this foreign bed he found himself in, Anon blindly reached around for the cover, grabbing it and tossing over the two of them.

As the two were doing this, Twilight was frantically writing, peeking at the two every so often from the top of her notepad. “Though at first shy due to the fact that they have somepony watching them both of the subjects appear to have settled quite nicely,” she muttered under her breath. “Subject 1, being the bigger out of the two, appears to have settled into the role of big spoon, even though he is a stallion. He also appears to be using his hands to comfort and sooth Subject 2, something which she appears to very much enjoy, though she is a mare and such a role should be hers.”

“You know we can still hear you, right Twilight?” Anon called, even as Rarity nuzzled deeper into the nape of his neck to hide her embarrassment. “You’re like five feet away from us.”

“Sorry, sorry!” the princess said. “I just like to think out loud when I’m doing an experiment and—”

“We are [i]not[/i] an experiment!” Rarity protested, her voice muffled. “For goodness sake, Twilight!”
>>
>>27659111
Anon couldn’t help but smile as Rarity squirmed against him, one of his hands reaching up to scratch her ear. A coo escaped the unicorn’s throat and she melted against him as his fingers worked their magic. “Don’t worry, Twi, we know how you get. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’d very [i[much[/i] like to worry about it thank you! I am a lady; not some sort of lab—tgonfdnvlkdfndl…”

Whatever else Rarity was about to say turned to babbling as Anon reached up with his other hand and started to scratch both of her ears. She let out a happy groan as his digits did their work. She rubbed her face against his neck like an affectionate cat, practically purring as her eyes closed.

“Easy there, Rare, easy…”

Now with a blush of her own, Twilight looked back down at her notes. “N-Now that the two of you seem nice and settled I think I’d like to ask you a few questions if that’s alright.”

Remembering that she wasn’t in the privacy of her own home, Rarity quickly regained her senses and grabbed Anon’s hands with her magic, pulling them away from her head. She gave Anon a look, which he answered with a smile, before she picked her head up to look over at her purple friend.

“Very well, but first I’m going to have to [i]insist[/i] that you don’t tell [i]anypony[/i] what transpires in this bedroom,” she said with a huff. “I have a reputation to uphold.”

Twilight couldn’t help but smirk. “Now there’s nothing wrong with being a little overly affectionate, Rar—”

“Hush!” Rarity commanded. “And you hush as well, Anon.”

“…I didn’t even say anything.”

Anon’s perfectly reasonable response was countered with a boop to the nose. “You [i]always[/i] have something ridiculous to say,” Rarity countered with a huff. Lifting her head back up, she looked over at Twilight, an eyebrow raised.
>>
>>27659146
There was a small smile on the alicorn’s face as she shook her head. “Alright, alright, I promise not to say anything to anypony. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

It wasn’t until Twilight finished the promise by accidentally jabbing herself in the eye with her hoof that Rarity relaxed. “Very well then,” she said, letting go of Anon’s hands. “You may begin with your questioning if you so desire, darling.” Almost instantly, his hands found their way to her neck and head, scratching and stroking. Rarity smiled as she let her head rest against his shoulder. “But I might recommend that the questions be asked quickly.” She yawned. “Whenever this ruffian has his hands on me I can never seem to stay awake.”

Anon found himself also yawning as he hugged Rarity closer to him. “Yeah, Twilight. If you’d hurry up and ask your questions that’d be great.”

“Hurry it up?!” Twilight squawked. “You can’t just hurry something like this up! There’s so many factors to consider, so many variables as to why the hay this is even happening! I could ask questions until I was blue in the face and I might not even—”

Despite her best efforts, Rarity found that her eyelids were slowly closing. She just couldn’t help it; [i]something[/i] just happened when she was with her human friend. Never in her life had she felt so safe, so loved as she did now.

“Are you sure you’re not using some sort of special products, Anon darling? Because if you are you must tell me what you are using so that I can acquire some for myself.”

Anon, his eyes already closed, laid an arm over her, causing her to smile. “Nope, I use the same soap that I always use,” he answered, yawning hugely once more. “And you smell gooderer too.”

“When we wake up remind me to help you brush up on your grammar, dear,” Rarity said with a giggle.
>>
>>27659187

Anon’s grip tightened around her ever so slightly. “No thank you, I’ve had enough schooling to know that the practice is a load of nonsense.

“You’re a bunch of nonsense.”

“At least I’m not a gaggle of nonsense. You gotta watch out for those kind of people. They’re the troublemakers and scoundrels of the world.”
>>
>>27659196
Alright, I'm done. Suggestions, concerns, comments are appreciated. Also I ran out of Rarity pictures.
>>
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>>27658937
Clearly Rarity's subconscious desires the dick.

And clearly Anon's desires the clit.
>>
>>27659202
this story is adorable.
>>
>>27659202
In >>27658937, you wrote:

“Hmmm. As far as I can tell there’s magical residue on either of you,” she muttered, nose scrunching up slightly. “So nopony cast any type of spell on you…”

Did you mean there was NO magical residue? Otherwise, I don't think I caught anything else.

Plus, this story is very cute and I want more as soon as you can put it out.
>>
>>27658990
>If Rarity had thought herself quite the private dick
>private dick
Wait, what?
>>
>>27659223
Another term for private eye
>>
>>27659223
Think it's slang for private investigator. https://www.quora.com/How-did-the-term-private-dick-for-a-private-investigator-originate
>>
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>>27659078
>The young man, feeling her gaze on him, looked up and smiled. She, with a slightly nervous giggle, found herself smiling back.
cute
>>
>>27659078
>“Well, I suppose we shall have to have to make that most of what we are provided,”
make the most of what we are provided
>>
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>>27659202
It's very cute and cozy. I've always loved stories where the human character is always petting or scratching ponies.
Double so if the ponies enjoy it.
>>
>Kidnon in RGREquestria
>Clings to (insert mare here) because the talking colorful pony is amazing
>Meanwhile the flustered pone receives accusing stares from the passerby
>>
>>27659520
The only Kidnon stories allowed here are the ones where ponies mistake him for an adult. Maybe go to pedo general?
>>
>>27659520
>Kidnon is still larger than most mares and stallions.
>He sure does love ponies, though.
>>
>>27659563
False. RGRE kidnon would be fine.
The idea has been pitched repeatedly, but there have been few takers.
>>
How about a reverse?

>Adult Anon in Equestria
>All the ponies are immature to the point where Anon is convinced that the only adult ponies are the princesses
>Treats ponies like he would children
>Rewards good behaviour with ear scratches, belly rubs, and ice cream
>Punishes bad behaviour with harder-than-necessary nose boops, refusing to pick up and hold the pony, and making them sit in the corner for ten minutes
>>
>>27659729
>Anon is remembered as history's greatest monster
>>
>>27653431
Meh, I'm basically working on this story whenever i get a chance, but I'm migrating a fuck load of software and that's eating up free time too.
>>
>>27656819
He doesn't care because he's not a manservant anymore. The way spike sees it, Twilight is Twilight no mater where she is, and so long as there's nothing he can do, its a vacation till she gets back.

That and feminine twilight with her ocd cleans better than spike does, and shoved him out of the way to do it herself.
>>
>>27660050
ocd twi when
>>
So when do things pick up on this board? Each thread I've been to has about two green posters, and the rest of the posts are variations of "page 8 not gr8"
>>
>>27660119
Things pick up when the writefags learn to stop making their own circlejerk threads and just coalesce around common themes.

It doesn't happen. Either because of pride of because of some vague preexisting negative perceptions of "they're all faggots in X thread".

Open 5-6 tabs and just accept the stubbornness. This thread is the most active of the ones I have open and rarely devolves into strings of bumps.
>>
>>27659613
>The idea has been pitched repeatedly, but there have been few takers
Shits hard to write, that's why.If you go to young, then anon then you get slice of life anon being a 'monster' and running a pony ragged. If you go to old, like passed 12,you get the young adult anon who knows what they would like, and due to size plus being the only one of their kind, could pass off as an adult
My favorite idea for this was
Anon is going through puberty and is learning he likes pony butts and just stares. At first its cute and endearing... but over time, the ponies grow self conscious and start buying clothing...At first its just underwear, as its cheap and covers what needs to be covered, but they quickly find anon just stares even harder... They Move onto skirts, but rarity didn't make them long enough, not by accident, but because they ordered the cheapest skirt, and this was cheap due to less material. This more or less painted a bullseye on 'hey anon, stare here' for the mares who decided 'you know what, I payed for it so I'm going to wear it.It's around this time that anon also starts staring at the male butts and before anyone says anything, no, this isn't a gay thing, in the show and majority of the fan art, the only distinguishing difference between make and females is a square jaw outside of bulk, and on top of this, this is rgre males who act gay as it stands... are they really, the fuck is the word, more male looking then normal, or would they be more feminine... either way a ponut is a ponut.Shit escalates till form fitting jeans are introduced, surely this will cover the genitals enough for anon to not be interested. Fucking wrong, anon now stares more at the jeans then he did at nude or underwear because seriously, it shows off dat ass just so much better.
And this just goes on, fashion after fashion till something that shows nothing is made
>>
>>27660176
>I am assmad nobody wants to post in AiE anymore
>>
>>27660176
>Open 5-6 tabs and just accept the stubbornness
>what is Thread Watcher
>>
>>27660412
And now we know why kid!Anon is shit.
>>
>>27660412
We aren't SCP, anon. You don't need to REDACT every other sentence.
>>
>>27660412
Wow did spoilers fail me hard here... anyway once all is said and done. Rarity thanks anon for all his hard work, hands him his bits and takes him to ice cream. Anon has successfully put everyone in ponyville into clothing and she had to expand business twice to keep up with demand.

>>27660176
>>27660418
>>27660119
Well, AiE use to burn through 4-5 threads a day in its prime, but then their head went straight up their own ass, and got to the point where one of the founding story archtypes 'flutter rape' reformed its own thread.

Its to the point that sure, AiE is a general name for all stories, but if you post anything there that's not generic as fuck they tell you to go to a general.

Then all the generals have I have to assume a vocal minority who tell everyone with an idea to fuck off with it, as we saw for the last several threads here, and oh, as writing this another person who can't ignore something they don't like >>27660454

Every place on this board actively discourages any writers who are not straight down the middle generic unless they have a name attached to themselves.

Honestly it's shocking we still have green threads.

>>27660480
I was trying to spoiler every line a different way so each escalation was a new thing you hovered over, but it failed half the time as apparently and let me test it here
If you start a spoilerthen have another one without a spacethe spoiler fails

now with a space

If you start a spoiler then have another one without a space the spoiler fails

I hit 2000 characters with that so I tried to trim it down as much as I could.
>>
What happened to that daring do book one? last i know she was going to do something to anon after believing him or something.
>>
>>27660480
>SCP
>We Snuggle, We Caress, We Pamper.
>>
>>27660412
I have plans for this idea. Not your idea. but kidnon.
>>
>>27660551
So, asking kindly instead of capturing? Telling ponies they didn't see anything, rather than using amnesiacs? Nice, air conditioned apartments rather than barren cells?
Cuddles and belly rubs instead of executions?
>>
>>27660480
I'm still waiting on that story in which Anon gets kidnapped by a secret government agency for being a non-magical, extra-dimensional alien.
>>
>>27660630
>Class D personnel aren't death-row prisoners who are sacrificed to test the capabilities of an SCP
>They're volunteers who get to cuddle Anon to see how effective his fingers are at chin-scratching and mane-brushing
>>
>>27660707
>The Ethics Committee, though, is still horrifying and traumatizing
>>
>>27660707
>>27660630
Maybe you two should take this discussion to the prison thread >>27591756
It's nothing personal, it's just that this thread is for discussion and stories set in reversed gender roles equestria. While discussion is welcome, if there's another thread that has your idea, please go there in case people here aren't interested.
>>
>>27659773
>The mane six used the elements and anon is transform in stone or launch to Tartarus
>>
>>27660781
>anon is transform in stone
>Actually, the elements cover him with chalk dust
>Mane 6 are horrified when he keeps moving
>>
>>27659202
past bin? can't read with none green
>>
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New story! It's been a while since I last posted something, so I can't promise that this first bit won't be shit. In any case, I hope at least some of y'all can understand my gibberish and enjoy what I've written.

---

Hey RGRE. My old piece of shit 2nd gen ipod touch broke, so I ordered a new one. There were offering a free engraving, and I took advantage of that. I did it all for you, RGRE. I can never show my ipod to anybody IRL now. I hope you appreciate that.
Reminder: I'm using a new trip.

"No way."
>Your face begins to heat up and your pumper is a-pumpin'.
"No BUCKING way, Lyra!"
>"Yeah!"
>Lyra nods excitedly, sporting an equally excited grin on her face.
>"Yeah-yeah-yeah!"
"Th-that's impossible! Humans aren't real!"
>You move to shuffle around your friend, but she scuffles in front of you and blocks your path.
>"No! C'mon, follow me! Let me show you, Bonnie!"
>Lyra gallops out of your room (her hooves slip a bit on the hardwood floor) and over towards her own room.
>You follow at a more sedate pace.
>Or, as sedate as you can when your inner mare-foal is acting up.
>This can't be real.
>Could it be real?
>Could it?!
>A human? Here?
>You can feel hope bubbling up in your chest like a spiky balloon.
>Lyra's bedroom is just around the corner, right where... where that smell is coming from.
>What is that; blood? Some kind of spice?
>Sweet Solar Kisses, did Lyra bring home some kind of animal again?
>Oh, for Celestia's sake, Lyra.
>You feel that spiky balloon burst.
>Bye-bye, hope.
>I liked the part where you played along.
>You hurry off to Lyra's bedroom, eager to expel whatever creature she lured home again.
>Keep it cool, Bon Bon.
>You're a big, tough mare; you can kick the flank of whatever's invaded your house.
>You round the corner and peer past Lyra's shoulder and....
>.....
>What.
>What?
>No, really; what?
>NO WAY.
>There's no way this is real.
>A human lays before you, fast asleep (or else unconscious).
>>
>>27660886
NEW STORY!?
>>
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>>27660886

It didn't occur to me until I received my ipod that I'd increased my power level by a factor of ten by getting it engraved like that.

>He's lying curled up on his side, snuggling into his blankets as best he can for such an enormous creature.
>You can hardly believe it; he's so much BIGGER than they look on My Little Human!
>....
>Which is what you WOULD say if you watched a little colt's show like My Little Human.
>Which you don't.
>Not on the internet, and CERTAINLY not binge-watched by the season.
>Not like Lyra.
>Lyra, who is an embarrassing mare-foal a lot of the time.
>Bucking Lyra.
>.....is he...?
>The creature shifts in his sleep, revealing the pillow he'd been cuddling.
>BUCK that's cute.
>Why are humans so cute?!
>The human suddenly grunts and wriggles his nose into Lyra's pillow, the sudden noise startling you into taking a step back.
>Oh.
>Oh, wow.
>Okay, this is happening.
>This really IS real.
>HE really is real.
>Your throat is dry, your head is swimming, your hooves are sweaty, something something, dad's spaghetti
"Lyra."
>You barely croak out your friend's name.
>You weren't even aware you were talking until you heard your own voice.
>You feel like you're swimming.
>Oh ponyfeathers, are you about to pass out?
>You receive your answer in the form of the ground rushing up to meet you.
>The last thing you hear before you faint is Lyra shouting at you not to wake the human.
>>
>>27660910
---------------------------------------

>Consciousness returns to you with the speed and grace of an oiled gazelle.
>The first thing you are aware of is that you are on your back, laying on something warm.
>The second thing that grabs your attention is the peculiar feeling on your belly.
>A rhythmic pressure firmly rubbing from your chest down to juuuuuust above your teats.
>Up, and down.
>Up, and down.
>Oooh, something just started scratching your tummy.
>With a happy little wriggle, you open your eyes.... and nearly faint again from the shock of what you see.
>It's the human.
>You're on his lap!
>Oh, no!
>Does he think you like this?
>Does LYRA think you like this?!
"G-get off of me!"
>She'll never let you live this down!
>You roll off of the human's lap and onto your back, where you wriggle your hooves like you're running.
>With a few extra-strength wriggles, you hop to your feet and square your hooves against the human.
>Your plan is simple: deny knowledge of anything related to humans.
"Wh-what are you?! And why were you..."
>You let your gaze wander down towards is wrigglers and, to your displeasure, you are momentarily enthralled by them.
>My Little Human never really went into much detail on how they worked...
>You snap back to attention.
>Focus, Bon Bon!
>>
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>>27660905
NEW STORY!

>>27660922
Whoops. I didn't mean to include that "---------".

"Why were you clawing at my belly?!"
>The human raises both hands in a surrendering gesture, making no attempt to stop you as you skitter back away from him.
>"Oh, geez..."
>He cringes slightly, blushing in embarrassment.
>"Sorry about that, Bon Bon."
"How do you know my name?!" you bark, interrupting him.
>The human gestures with this thumb over to the side.
>A quick glance (can't let that human out of your sight for long) reveals...
>Lyra.
>Standing there by the door.
>Just... just staring at the human.
>You take a deep breath and try to settle down; you're too twitchy.
"R-right."
>"Yeah. Anyway, Lyra said that ponies liked getting their tummies rubbed."
>The human starts rubbing his hands together anxiously.
>"And, uh... you were kind of... surprised? Surprised to see me. I thought, maybe, a belly rub might calm you down a bit."
>He chuckles uncomfortably and looks over to your friend for back-up.
>Like the excited filly she is, Lyra bounds over and leaps into the human's lap, taking the space you just vacated.
>>"No! No, Anonymous, you were right!"
>Anonymous; now you have a name for the face.
>Lyra rolls onto her back and presents her soft, green tummy to Anonymous.
>>"Ponies LOVE belly rubs! Try it!" She wriggles in his lap and bats at one of his hands with a forehoof.
>>"You gotta practice if you're gonna be good at it!"
>Anonymous smiles and obliges your friend.
>What have you gotten yourself into?

----------------------

It's short, but it's a start.

Also: I really like what you've been posting, LaP! Keep it going!
Welcome back, Frosty.
>>
>>27660944
Oh, and I guess I should include a link to the pastebin, huh?

http://pastebin.com/Kxyzgiy1
>>
>>27660886
noice hungry for green here
>>
>>27661007
Glad to be of service, friend. Sorry if it feels a bit rushed. I'm about a month out of practice.
>>
>>27661048
Glad to have you back.
>>
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>>27660910
>>Oh ponyfeathers, are you about to pass out?
>>You receive your answer in the form of the ground rushing up to meet you.
>>The last thing you hear before you faint is Lyra shouting at you not to wake the human.
Fucking Lyra.
>>
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>>27660944
>>Lyra rolls onto her back and presents her soft, green tummy to Anonymous.
>>>"Ponies LOVE belly rubs! Try it!" She wriggles in his lap and bats at one of his hands with a forehoof.
Oh good lord my heart.
>>
>>27660886
Kek
You absolute madman!
>>
>>27661120
>>27661143
>>27661172
>>27661256
>All this love
Careful, Anons. Keep this up and you might get rid of my cripplingly-low self-esteem.
>>
>>
Goodnight bump
>>
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>>27660886
>>
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>>27660886
Feeling inspired again?
>>
>>27661297
Story was good. You earned it.
>>
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>>27662459
>Alliance
Get that shit out of here
>>
>>27662459
Great names, shit faction
>>
>>27662459
WoW has ships?
>>
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>>27660707
>a voice comes over the speakers.
>"D class personnel, please enter the containment area."
>rainbow and rarity enter through the big doors no questions asked.
>you on the other hoof, stand there for a minute.
>"D class personal 89444 enter the containment area or you will be removed from the area"
>>"yah come on twi its fine theres nothing in here but bushes, grass,.and a few trees. its really big too!"
>rainbow dash's words calm you and you enter.
>when you do you hear the sound of the big doors failing to close.
>"um we seem to be haveing some issues with the door controls do not appro-"
>the lights go out and you hear a scream from rarity.
>>>"aaaaahhh!"
>the lights come on to show a freshly pet rarity, laying on her side with a tall green creature standing by her looking at rainbow dash.
>the lights go out again but this time the scream is from dash.
>>"noooooo!"
>when the come back dash is in the same position as rarity once was.
>you look it in the eyes.
>it- its smiling!
>you can only wait and pray the lights dont fail again.
>but the do...
>you hear a scream behind you from the guard mare.
>then nothing...
>you slowly turn around to see it just before it.
> rubs your belly![spoiler/]
>>
>>27660735
Oh shit just posted the green and sow this sorry
>>
>>27663074
>>27663095
>wanting to live in mud huts
>>
>>27663462
Horse should be weary of rapid cuddle fests they might not even have the endurance to last that long against those wiggly feelers.
>>
>>27662527
>Horde
Why go for the faction that has blue tusk-niggers?
>>
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>>27660886
I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that we're flattered by your engraving.

Great green too.
>>
Works sucks. Can't focus on all the intricacies required for my main right now, here's this stream of consciousness (read: autism) as an apology.

>>27657053
>You grumble as you rise from your bed, your restful sleep having been ruined by the pounding coming from your front door.
>Better not be Derpy, you decide to be nice and offer her a muffin on one particularly rainy morning and then you have deal with the consequences a few times a month since.
>You reach for the door handle before realizing how comfortably cool you feel, and specifically the gentle sway of your nethers when stop walking.
>Goddamn non-air conditioned cottage, makes sleeping with clothes on impossible during the summer.
"One second!" you call out to the person on the other side of the door as you jump back into your room to throw on whatever is closest.
>You return and open the front door, eyes locked to the doormat on the floor.
"Hmm?"
>Only to find no one there, what in the-
>A gentle tap on your shoulder makes you look up.
>You find a pair of purple eyes looking back at you, all tired and weary.
>Attached to those eyes is the Purple Princess of Friendship herself, Twilight Sparkle.
>Or as you call her.
"Purple Smart!" you greet the somber pony happily.
>Her lips twitch a little, you can see a smile trying to force itself onto her face.
>You get it the rest of the way with a playful boop on the nose.
>A small smile forms on her face, satisfied with your successful cheering, you lean against your door frame.
>She takes in a breath like she wants to say something, her head scans around the general area outside your house, then she flies on through into your living room.
>Not abnormal behavior for her, you shrug and shut the door behind her before trailing over as well.
>She hovers over your specially made couch, circles around it for a moment, then drops down onto a throw pillow your coworker Caramel gifted you two hearthswarmings back.
>>
>>27664546
>Not too long after you were cleared to 'not be a threat' and thus allowed to live on your own, Twilight would come over.
>Originally to ensure that you were fitting in, then eventually just because, and since becoming a princess she's come over just to get away from her responsibilities for a while.
>Being an outsider has its perks, and for Twilight not having any roots in Equestria makes for a good person to vent to.
>And occasionally you provide some insight that wouldn't be obvious to an Equestrian.
"You know that pillows like that are supposed to be for decoration?"
>Twilight's ears perk and twist to orient themselves to you.
>She audibly blows air through her nose before lifting her head and looking over at you, "Since when do you care about how pillows are supposed to be used?"
"Oh I don't-" you flop onto the other couch and tuck last year's Hearthswarming throw-pillow under your head, "I just figured you would like some new trivia as tribute to your ever lasting thirst for knowledge, dor-"
>You are cut off by a pillow magically being flung into your face.
>A refreshingly powerful scent of lavender assaults your nose after peeling the pillow off of your face.
>Twilight is resettling herself on your couch without a pillow under her now while you settle yourself into the couch and squeeze the thrown pillow to your chest.
"Damn girl, what's got you on such an edge? More Friendship Summits?"
>At this her ears fall flat against her head.
>You sit up slightly and rephrase your question.
"Hey, seriously, are you alright?"
>Her eyes lower to the small coffee table between you both, "I uh, so there was a gathering held at Canterlot Castle last night..."
>She continues on explaining her evening in detail, sometimes painfully so.
>You know she's a dork at heart, and can get a little too analytical for her own good, but some of the "conversations" she had just make your cringes cringe.
>The worst part is, she clearly doesn't see it.
>>
>>27664558
>She always leveraged her complaints about this thing or the other, occasionally a guy was involved.
>She's never given you this much info before, and now that she has...
>What you don't really get now is how, even through all that, she still couldn't find a guy.
>Even the most awkward girl can find someone willing to dick that.
>Unless...
>Is she ugly?
>You know she's like a little taller than the other mares in town, and maybe a little pudgier but nothing that seemed beyond average.
>That said you don't know what passes for attractive in magic horseland.
>"-So I spent the night with me myself and my hoof."
>You sputter and break out into a sensible chuckle.
>She gets a defensive look on her face.
"No! I'm sorry! I'm not laughing at you for- I just wasn't expecting you to say something like that."
>A faint blush forms on her face, "Well why not?.. I'm a girl aren't I? You know as well as I do that we do that pretty often."
>Another round of laughter attempts to overtake you, but you barely manage to suppress it.
"Yeah yeah totally, I mean there's nothing wrong with that, I do it all the time too."
>She rolls her eyes, "Yeah, sure you do Anon..."
>Now it's your turn to get defensive.
"Whoa! What's that supposed to mean?"
>She raises her nose and takes a deep whiff, "This place practically reeks of guy musk, I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but you don't have to lie. Getting that out of my system was good enough."
>...Lie?
>What does having a dank room relate to what you were talking abou-
>"S-speaking of, I actually had another reason for coming by..."
>You drop whatever the hell she was on about before and let her continue.
>When she doesn't, and instead sits in contemplative silence, you decide to help her along.
"And that would be?"
>"I uh, n-not that I need a lot of help or anything, I have my own system that's foalproof, I just can't seem to find the right guy y'know?"
>You hum in acknowledgement, but not agreement.
>>
>>27664564
>There is a difference.
>She continues, "But I was thinking that maybe you could help me? You obviously know plenty about guys."
>You nod.
"Yeah, fair point."
>"So? You'll help me?"
>You mull the offer over for a bit.
>She's a sweet girl, awkward sure, but you don't see anything that hits you with red flags.
>And like she said, you know about guys, being one and all.
>This surely couldn't be that difficult.
"Yeah, alright, I'll help you."
>She gives a quick hoof pump and hops down to the floor, her eyes look up at you with an almost fearful excitement.
>You feel a little embarrassed being looked up to this much, ultimately you're not going to be doing much.
>"I don't have any of my 'discussion topics flashcards' with me, and I was in such a slump earlier that I forgot my sunhat, but we can probably make some new ones here and I saw this really cool hat at the markets yesterday."
>Hmm.
>"It's got flames printed all over it, so colts will know how cool and dangerous I could be from afar, sounds pretty sick right?"
>HMM.
>You stand there, contemplating what you've just agreed to now.
>"Anon? I don't see any notecards in your study, do you keep them somewhere else?"
>All the while a very eager Twilight is scavenging around your home.
>You may have made a huge mistake...

>You enter Anon's home just as the sun is sinking over the horizon, and your heart sinks deeper into your chest.
>Anon shuts the door behind him slowly, he follows the mechanical click of the door shutting with a deep sigh.
>"Well, I think we've both learned a few lessons today" he says, attempting to lighten your mood.
>You grunt in acknowledgement, but not approval.
>The difference is subtle, but there is a difference.
"I just don't understand! I'm a princess, I have access to the royal coffer, I've saved Equestria how many times?!"
>Anon pats your head gently, "Hey, I'm just as shocked as you are. I guess horse guys and guy guys just have different sets of interest."
>>
>>27664573
>Surely they must, Anon's advice wasn't very effective.
>Wait... her home reeks of male, and the toilet seat is always up when you need to use it.
>You assumed it was because she was bedding a stallion almost every night, but...
>You get a playful nudge to your barrel, "It's all good though, we'll give it another shot tomorrow. I've got a great idea, first thing we'll hit the gym."
>Her playful optimism is somewhat comforting, but something about her earlier statement still rubs you the wrong way.
>Has she never...
>"Alright, for now though, we have to perform the time honored tradition that follows night of missed tail."
>Your curiosity is piqued.
"And that is?"
>She practically dives into his ice chest and withdraws several bottles of cider, "We look up at the stars and drink."
>You consider her offer for a moment.
"Okay, let me just write a letter to Spike first."
>Letter sent and ciders opened, you both settle in outside under the stars.
>For a while it's silent, both of you are just enjoying the warm summer night.
>As the ciders go down and you start to feel looser, you speak up.
"It's horseapples you know?"
>Anon hums, turning to look down at you.
"I've never even kissed a colt" you mumble.
>You expect to feel regret hit you the moment the words leave your drunken mouth but it doesn't happen.
>Unlike Dash or Pinkie, Anon doesn't poke fun at you for it.
>Unlike Rarity or Applejack she doesn't offer you advice sourced from the latest mare's fashion magazine or old family tales.
>And unlike Fluttershy she doesn't get caught into a stammering loop because of the sudden awkwardness.
>"Yeah, that's a real stumper Twilight. I don't really get it either."
>You love all your friends -no homo- but the empathy coming from Anon is really refreshing for a change.
>She really is unlike any other, n-not just physically but more than that...
>Oh uh, wow, the moonlight shining down on her really makes some of the curves on her smooth face look really-
>>
>>27664578
>You jump in place and quickly slap your tail firmly against your rump.
>Anon's head turns away from the night sky and over to you as a result of your commotion.
>He looks you over for a moment, then smiles.
>The curve of her soft looking lips is so enchanting right now.
>"Hey, don't beat yourself up over it Purple Smart. For what it's worth, I've never kissed a guy before either."
>This news takes you a moment for your inebriated mind to make sense of.
"Wha- why are you giving me advice then? You're just as pathetic as I am."
>She snickers, "Ouch, going striaght for your own throat and mine huh? Okay, I think it's time to lay off the cider there Twilight."
>Her long arms circle around the front of you and pinch the lip of your cider.
>You clamp your hooves tightly to the bottle and refuse to let it go until she answers your question.
"Hey! I've barely had any thank you!" you growl.
>"Twilight, I honestly can't understand what you're saying. Just give me the bottle."
>She tugs and pulls, your hooves can't hold on any longer.
>Thankfully for you, you have magic.
>Anon's hand shimmers with violet light, before dimming and flickering in and out.
>Your head is too fuzzy to keep the spell up.
>Maybe you are drunker than you think.
>Regardless, you've already set yourself on this course of keeping your drink.
>If you can't even stand your ground on this, how will you do it in front of a colt?
>You give one final yank with the last bit of your magical concentration.
>"Hey- whoa!"
>Your view blurs for a moment and the back of your head aches slightly over the dull buzz.
>When you blink the world back into focus you find yourself eye to eye with Anonymous.
>Her breath is hot, you can feel it on your face.
>She's crouched over you, supporting her body with her elbows beside your head.
>Your horn is just barely away from Anon's own bare forehead.
>Her emerald eyes seem to glow under the shadow of her overhanging form.
>>
>>27664584
>You've never noticed just how handsome they are until now.
>She doesn't move from her position over you.
>And you are too stunned to move, too drunk to teleport.
>You swallow and try to urge yourself into some kind of action.
>A tingle runs up your spine.
>Small jolts of electricity originating from one place.
>Anon's body isn't holding firm, she's trembling slightly from the effort of her own support.
>Her hips are swaying as well, you can feel her rubbing against the inside of your thighs.
>Each gentle rock of her body bushes the crotch of her pants into your own nethers.
>The scent of musk is strong on her.
>It's what you imagine a stallion smells like after a hot sweaty roll on the sheets.
>The scent, coupled with the image in your mind makes your lower lips quiver.
>Your pink pearl exposes itself, brushing against the bulge in Anon's pants.
>It sends a strong tremor through your body, so strong that your eyes close involuntarily.
>It's now that you are able to piece together today's events as best as your drunken mind will allow.
>"Twilight?" Anon speaks your name.
>You had always found it odd how a voice as deep as hers was still able to pick up all the stallions you thought she did.
>"I uh..."
>Now it's all so clear.
>Made even clearer by the satisfying friction between Anon's growing bulge and your moist lips.
>All this time, one of your closest friends, the one whom you've felt the most comfortable with.
>You open your eyes.
>Hooves slowly snake around Anon's neck.
>He concedes to your gentle tug and lowers his face to yours.
>>
>>27664593
Okay, that's all I was able to muster and still keep this thing relatively short. I don't really like the end here but I also really want to get back to my story. Hopefully work will stop being a shit and I can flesh out my notes into hopefully good green.

>>27660944
I could say the same to you friendo, missed you. Also I dunno why we're talking in spoiler but I don't mind it one bit~
>>
>>27664593
>He concedes to your gentle tug and lowers his face to yours.

Think you meant to keep it to the feminine form here Frosty. Otherwise, MOAR!!!
>>
>>27664670
I didn't, Twilight's put all the pieces together right at the end. Well, drunk Twilight specifically has. At least that was the idea I wanted to get across.
>>
>>27664708
Cool, the request still stands. MOAR!!!!
>>
“Mwah. Mwah.”

The first thing that Anon noticed, as he clawed his way out of the sweet, comforting black embrace that was sleep, was a particular sensation around his mouth. It was a tingly, welling sensation, as if someone was running a gentle electrical current throughout his body.

“Mwah. Mwah.”

As the sleep was driven back sensation sharpened. Instead of a jolt he could feel something soft being pressed against his lips. He could also feel something tickling his face and his nose, something not quite nearly as soft as what was repeatedly brushing against his mouth.

“Mwah.”

Now he could feel a weight on his chest as the pressure against his lips increased. The weight wasn’t a heavy one; in fact he couldn't help but find comfort in it. Inhaling, his senses were overrun with the smell of vanilla and something else that he couldn’t quite place.

Though his eyes didn’t open, his mouth became a thin line, it's corners arched upward. “Rarity? What are you doing?”

The soft, tingly sensation on his lips vanished. A rather unladylike “Eep!” broke the silence of the room as the weight on his chest shifted. One of Anon’s eyes opened just a crack.

He could see that Rarity was lying on his chest. Her head was resting on his chest, her face turned away from him. Though a blanket covered the two of them he could see the gentle rise and fall of her chest. If one didn’t know any better, they’d have had said that she was asleep. He would have thought that as well, if not for the fact that the blush on Rarity’s face was so aggressive that it had worked its way throughout her upper body and he could see it on the back of her neck.

The sight instantly brought a smile to his face. “Rarity,” he cooed, reaching up to tickle the mare’s sides. “Rarity~”
>>
>>27664798
Though he continued poking her sides, Rarity didn’t move an inch from her position. One of her hooves tried to discreetly swipe at his hand, but other than that her sleeping facade was kept intact.

“Rarity. Rarrrrrrity. Come on. I know that you’re awake.”

One of his hands left her side and tried for her tummy but the fashionista was quick to nip that in the bud, quickly grabbing his it and hugging it against her chest. Anon’s smile widened when he heard a [i]very[/i] quiet whine escape the mare’s mouth.

Sensing victory, he increased his assault with his other hand. “Were you stealing smooches, Rarity? Do I need to contact the kissing police?”

Another whine escaped the mare's mouth as she reddened. She began squirming, trying to wiggle away from his devious fingers. When she could go no more, precariously perched on top of him as she was, she slowly lifted her head to look at him.

“Oh! Good morning, Anon dear,” she said, making a show of rubbing her eye and yawning. “Thank you [i]ever[/i] so much for waking me up.”

“Good morning?”

“Yes, good morning.”

Anon’s smile widened. “Well good morning to you too, Kissy McKisserson,”

Rarity’s blush, impossibly, brightened, but she tried to draw attention away from it by fussing with her mane. “Yes, well.” Coughing into her hoof, she looked down at him with a nervous smile. “Why don’t the two of us—”

“Subject 2 appears to be quite flustered, though she hasn’t moved from Subject 1’s side. Observations suggest that she may try to goat Subject into kissing her so that the two are equally flustered.”
>>
>>27664823
Both Rarity and Anon slowly looked over to the corner of the room, where the telltale sounds of a quill scratching against paper could be heard. There, sitting amidst a dozen purple throw pillows, was Twilight Sparkle.

“Huh… It looks like one of your stuffed animals came to life, Rare,” Anon said, giving Rarity’s side a parting poke. “Quick, go over there and poke its belly before it writes anything else.”

“Twilight?!” Rarity screeched, nearly jumping out of her fur.

Twilight’s eyes snapped up from her clipboard. “Oh horse feathers,” she muttered, sinking deeper into her camouflage.

“I can [i]see[/i] you, Twilight Sparkle,” Rarity snapped. “Your coat is a shade darker than those pillows for goodness sake!”

“Is that purple stuffed animal sitting in Applejack’s box?” Anon asked, craning his neck to get a better look.

Such a sentence was just enough to make Rarity look away from her royal house invader and back toward him. “Applejack’s box? What in Equestria are you talking about, dear?”

“Underneath all of those pillows. You can very clearly see that your stuff animal is sitting in a box.”

“Twilight is not—urgh!” Making a face, the fashionista followed Anon’s gaze. To her surprise he was right. Twilight, partially covered in pillows, was also sitting in a box. “Does… Anon?”

“Yes?”

“May I ask you a question?”

“Sure, fire away.”
>>
>>27664856
At least Twilight knows that any good pillow fort needs a good foundation.
>>
>>27664856
“That is your box correct?”

Humming, Anon gave the box a once over. “Yep, as far as I can tell that’s my box. Well, it’s Applejack’s box but I just have it in my house so she can have somewhere to sit when she's over.”

Rarity nodded slowly, looking for all the world like she was in the middle of diffusing a bomb. She wracked her brain, trying to think of a way to elegantly phrase the question that she so desperately wanted to ask. Anon, being the kind soul that he was, lent his support in her harrowing venture by giving her back a scratch.

“…Now, Anon dear, could you please read to me what you have… written on that box?”

“What? The letters a bit too small for you to read them right?”

Not looking away from the box, an almost mystified expression on her face, Rarity shook her head. “I simply wish to conform that I have not, excuse me for saying this, lost my marbles as it were.”

“Oh, in that case it says only silly ponies can sit in that box,” Anon told her with a smile.

Rarity said nothing, letting the statement hang in the air as she just stared down at him. She waited for him to start laughing, to tell her that he was just kidding, but Anon just continued to stare at her with an honest, heartfelt smile. The seconds crawled by, still no laughter, still no sign of a joke.

Perhaps [i]this[/i] was the joke? Not string of sounds that Anon had uttered, but life in general. Perhaps she, Anon and everypony and everything they she knew and loved was simply the build up to the punchline of some cosmic being.

She could be very well naught but a walking shadow; a poor player that strutted and fretted her hour upon the stage, and was then no more. Hers might simply be a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, but ultimately signifying nothing.
>>
>>27664877
For a moment the bedroom seemed just a bit bigger than it had been a moment ago as Rarity let herself flop back onto her living mattress, taking a deep breath to sooth herself.

“…I was afraid that you’d say that,” she said with a sigh.

Sinking into her pillow cover a bit more, Twilight’s eyes drifted back down to her notes. “Both Subjects appear easily distracted, might—OW! Rarity! What are you throwing pillows for?”

“Twilight, darling, can’t you see that I’m having an episode here?” Rarity whined, rubbing her cheek against Anon’s chest.

“Well I hope you have a thirty-minute time slot and the commercials aren’t that long,” Anon said, wrapping his arms around the little unicorn.

“…Thank you darling. I think.”

Giving her a little squeeze, Anon looked back over at Twilight. “So what brings you to this neck of the woods, Twi?” His gaze drifted back down toward the box. “And where the heck did you get that thing? Last time I saw it it was collecting dust in my closet.”

Rubbing her nose, which had been so viciously attacked just a few moments ago, Twilight perked up. “Well, actually, it’s a [i]pretty[/i] interesting story.”

“More interesting than the fact that you broke into my home?” Rarity questioned, only to be shushed by her bed buddy.

“Since my findings while you were knowingly under observation were… lackluster I decided to see how you reacted around each other when you didn’t know I was around,” the princess said, her mountain of pillows shaking as she gave a happy wiggle.

“Alright, so you decided to try the stalking option,” Anon said with a nod of the head. “That still doesn’t explain why you’re sitting in my box.”

“Applejack’s box, dear,” Rarity corrected, finally letting her head submerge into the kiddie pool of madness that she found herself floating in.
>>
>>27664894
“Yeah, Applejack’s box, my mistake,” Anon said, apologetically scratching the fashionista’s ear. “I know you’re a pretty silly pony yourself, Twi, but I don’t think that Applejack would want you sitting in her box like you owned the thing.”

“If you give me just a second I’ll get to that,” Twilight said matter-of-factly, as if what Anon had just said was perfectly sane and normal. “Now, since I couldn’t be in two places at once for the first night of my observations—”

Rarity’s ears perked up. “The first and [i]only[/i] night.”

“But—”

“While I appreciate your willingness to help Anon and I with our… admittedly unusual problem that does [i]not[/] mean that I want you to watch me whilst I sleep!”

Twilight just stared at Rarity for a moment with a neutral expression on her face. Slowly, she began to write something on her notepad. “Subject 2 seems to resent me observing her. Must take greater lengths to better conceal myself in the future.”

“What did you—efgndfkjd!”

“Keep going, Twi,” Anon encouraged as Rarity squirmed on top of him. “I’ll keep the snuggle bug here occupied.”

Rarity’s eyes were hazy as she looked up at him. Though she was trying her hardest to glare she couldn’t quite get herself to properly focus on him. “I am—oh~! I am not a—a-ah~! I am a [i]lady[/i]! Not—ohmygoodness~.

“Aw, that’s really cute,” Twilight said, covering her mouth with a giggle. “Now, where was I?”

“Something about your first night of stalking,” Anon helpfully supplied.
>>
>>27664916
“Aw yes, thank you. Since I couldn’t be in two places at once I decided to set up at Rarity’s house since this was the optimal location to see how the two of you would interact with each other while you were sleepwalking.”

Still, squirming, Rarity wiggled up Anon’s body. “You ruffian,” she huffed, pressing her chest against his face as she wrapped her hooves around his head. “Laying hands on a lady so nonchalantly.” Anon, with a muffled chuckle, continued scratching his bed buddy as she ran a hoof through his hair.

A blush came to Twilight’s face. “And, um, well.” She coughed into a hoof as Rarity stared at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Come on now, dear. Let’s hear whatever silliness that you got yourself into.”

Twilight coughed again, finally getting a grip on herself. “Last night I observed you opening the door for Anon and leading him to your bedroom. For about an hour I just sat back and recorded everything that you two did, your movements, your breathing, how you held each other, along with a dozen other things.”

“Oh, and did you find anything interesting?”

“That’s just it, Rarity,” the princess said, looking down at her notes. “As far as I can tell there isn’t [i]anything[/i] unusual. Neither of you have any signs of an outside force using magic on you, there’s no special or unusual magical signatures in your house. There’s nothing forcing Anon to walk halfway across town to your house and there’s nothing making you open the door for him.”

“Should someone maybe be messing with us from our dreams?” Anon asked through a mouthful of fur.
>>
>>27664965
Twilight shook her head. “I would have caught something like that when I checked for foreign magic on the both of you.” Ears pinning against her head, she huffed, looking a bit frustrated. “I had thought that maybe the two of you were just subconsciously seeking companionship, and it was just luck that the two of you came together like you are, but when I tried to test that out by switching Rarity with myself you… reacted, Anon.”

Anon poked his head out from Rarity’s chest tuft. “I didn’t do anything… lewd to you did I?”

“No, no. When I tried to cuddle you you got up out of the bed and left the room,” Twilight told him. “A few minutes later you came back with this box and, before I could do anything, you picked me up and put me in it. After that you put Rarity back into the bed and continued to cuddle her like nothing was out of the ordinary.”

A small, pleased smile came to Rarity’s face. “Well, Anon’s [i]excellent[/i] taste aside, why didn’t you simply get out of the box after the two of us were back in the bed, dear?”

Twilight opened her mouth but quickly closed it. “I… I don’t know,” she muttered, looking down at the box. “I was meaning to but…”

“Silly ponies can’t resist the silly pony box,” Anon said, his voice a whisper as he picked up and placed the fashionista lower down on his body. “They’re drawn to it, seeking it for their silly orange master.”

Rarity couldn’t help but snort when she saw the look that he was giving her. “You simply are too much, darling,” she said, playfully batting his shoulder.

“The legends are true, Rare bear,” Anon insisted, lifting up his head so that he could get a better look at the unicorn. “It’s the box of power. One box to rule them all one box to bind them. One ring to bring them all in and darkness—”
>>
>>27664617
For some reason I love stories where ponies think Anon is a woman and you always manage to scratch that itch.
>>
>>27665000
Before he could react his lips came into contact with something soft and furry. Upon closer inspection he realized that it was Rarity’s cheek. As he jerked his head back, his eyes wide, the fashionista let out a giggle.

“Oh, how simply [i]daring[/i], kissing a mare without warning!” she teased, her blue eyes shining as she looked down at him. “And there you were teasing me for kissing [i]you[/i].”

“I, um, I didn’t—” Anon sputtered, a blush coming to his face. “You, I didn’t, why—”

Grinning like a mad mare, Rarity leaned down and nuzzled his cheek. He could feel her lips brushing against his slightly scruffy cheek, which only caused him to blush harder. In the corner he could hear Twilight giggling to herself as she scribbled on her notepad.

[i]It appears that my theory was correct. Subject 2 has indeed decided to trick Subject 1 into kissing her with the intention of leaving him flustered.[/i]

“Oh, there’s [i]absolutely[/i] no reason to get so antsy, dear. I can understand why you would be so bold when a lady such as myself is just lying there [i]unsuspecting[/i] as I am.”

“I, you, I didn’t—”

“Though that doesn’t mean I am at all displeased. You seemed to be an excellent kisser.”

“I JUST KISSED YOU ON THE CHEEK! AND I DIDN’T EVEN DO IT ON PURPOSE! YOU WERE THE ONE THAT HAD YOUR CHEEK RIGHT THERE!”

“Oh, you silly, silly, man.”

“I’M NOT SILLY! YOU’RE SILLY! AND SO IS TWILIGHT!!”

[i]Though Subject 1 appears distressed, there is a smile on his face. Data suggests that both subjects enjoyed the intimacy. Is it the kissing itself or is it because they kissed each other?[/i]
>>
>>27665024
Twilight looked up from her notes. Anon had his hands on Rarity’s face, trying to push the mare away as she tried to lean down and nuzzle him. Both the human and the unicorn were blushing, both of them were smiling and there was a sparkle in their eyes as they playfully pushed and shoved and teased each other. Twilight couldn’t help but beam, warmth filling her chest at the sight of her two friends so happy and gay.

[i]Further tests and observations could be conducted but I have a feeling that it is not needed[/i] Twilight wrote, sinking into her box. [i]While what the two are experiencing is an unexplained anomaly it is in no way harmful to either of them.[/i]

“You do turn such a delightful shade of red, darling.”

“Hey, get away! Stranger danger! I don’t know you! The moon landing was a myth! Peanuts are just—”

“Mwah.”

“Stoooooooooooopppppppppp!”
>>
Assertive Rarity. Hnngunf.
>>
>>27665036
Alright, this chapter's done. It'll take a couple of days for the next chapter to be finished but this is what I got right now. Like usual, tell me what you think. Comments, concerns, all of that jazz.
>>
>>27665045
It's great
>>
>>27664593
oh my
>>
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>>27664798
what a sickeningly cute way to start a chapter
>>
>>27664823
>quickly grabbing his it and hugging it against her chest.
quickly grabbing his hand
>>
>>27665045
Yep, still sugary and adorable.
>>
>>27665223
>>27665332
Marshmallow pone is made of sugar.

>>27665036
Dangerously cute.

>>27664593
>Ponies think Anon is female because they cannot into human secondary characteristics
Yuss

>>27663462
The world must be protected from such things.
Those wigglers would doom us all.

>>27660944
Harpo and bon a cute.

>>27660730
>>27660707
>>27660644
The Ethics Committee is love.
The Ethics Committee is life.
The Ethics Committee SEES ALL.

>>27660514
>>27660418
>>27660176
The solution is to write more and crosspost

>>27659563
This is blatantly false.
If it's RGR enough it's welcome here.
Nothing is RGR enough.

>>27659520
>Be Flower Horse Number Two in Equestria.
>Where else would you be?
>You are at your stall with Flower Horse Number One and Flower Horse Number Three selling flowers
>You aren't selling as many as you'd like, probably because the worst flowers are right next to the best flowers, driving off customers in disguse.
>I'm looking at you, Posies.
>You're only here because FHN1 is your friend, despite her shit taste.
>The alien filly is now standing in front of your stall.
>SHIT A CUSTOMER!
>"Miss Pony, I can't find Purple Mom. Can you help me?"
>Not a customer, stand down from battle stations.
"Sure okay."
>The alien wraps its grabbers around your barrel and squeezes you.
"BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH!"
>>
>>27665045
Exceptionally cute, I want more.
>>
>>27664593
You fucking blueballer motherfucker!
>>
>>27665045
Do you have this on FimFic or something, I can't stand reading prose on 4chan.
>>
>>27664578
> She

its happening
>>
>>27664617
love the concept
>>
>>27665045
So comfy

>>27666512
Why don't you like prose on 4chan?
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/little+big+pony
>>
>>27667034
He's just that much of an OG that his 4chan has to stay green, nigga.
>>
>>27665727
How long till she realizes the filly is a colt? or is it just a gir?
>>
>>27664798
>tfw you will never awaken to marshmallow kisses

Please gods just kill me now.
>>
>>27667034
Mainly its because it stretches all the way across the screen and makes reading all the lines a pain in the ass. Books aren't 1920x1080, neither is FimFic, could just be me I guess.
>>
what happened to LaP's gym owning anon after the colt hissyfit about body positivity and rumble being given steroids?
>>
>>27668067
Anon was so filled with rage that he broke through heaven and earth and even tomorrow to destroy the stallions involved. The resulting explosion wiped the story from existence.
>>
>>27668083
Sounds about right.
>>
>>27668083
i was looking forward to the aftermath and anon raging out

plus fluttershy's adorable attempts to pushups
>>
>>27664708
Well, thing is you did kinda get your he/she mixed up earlier in the story. I was half way through Twilight's section before I figured out what you were going for. She kept calling Anon he, then she, then back to he, etc. etc.

Still, "they think Anon is a girl" is one of my favorite RGRE subjects, so it's not like it ruined it for me.
>>
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>>27668096
>plus fluttershy's adorable attempts to pushups
Especially this.
>>
>>27668364
>mares with small tufts try to make a shrinkage/big-boned-esque excuse via barrel depth
>>
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>>27668431
>mare sees cute stallion walking by
>sucks in as big a breath as she can and puffs out her chest
>>
>>27668096
>>27668067
I'm gonna get back to it. Just give me a second

>>27668064
And this story will be on fimfic if you just want to read it there
>>
>>27668461
The urge to poke her belly to make her let out that held breath is strong...
>>
>>27645035
Cute filly the only way I'll be able to survive in my opinion is the first one
>>
>>27668461
>rd does this to anon.
>he pokes her and she falls on her side holding the stance.
>anon gets a idea.
>later in twi's place.
"Hey twi i got you a paper weight."
>"really than- is that rainbow dash?"
"Yep watch this!"
>anon looks in rd's eyes causeing the Pegasus that was limp at his side to go stiff and puff up.
>"huh... well thanks for the present."
>rd is now a paper weight that occasionally calls twi a egghead or demands food.
>>
>>27668738
So Rd is essentially a large house cat?
>>
>>27647343
>"ANON IS HUGE!"
>"THAT MEANS HE MUST GIVE HUGE HUGS!"

>>27667823
>Implying I'll continue it
She'll find out whenever it's most relevant to the story.
Even if it's most relevant more than once.
We need more stories where ponies are SCARED AS FUCK about that ayylium
>>
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>>27669154
>We need more stories where ponies are SCARED AS FUCK about that ayylium
I nominate the flower trio as tribute.
>>
>>27669160
In Anti!Equestria, the Flower Trio are the Don't Give No Fucks Trio. Evil gods? Don't give no fucks. Good fair godhorses? Don't give no fucks. Mirror universes? Don't give no fucks.
>>
>>27669272
>Disregard apocalypse.
>Sell flowers.
>>
>>27669301
>Swear to Celestia.
>Swear to BUCKING Celestia.
>The Elements of Harmony are screwing with the town again.
>If these little bucks think that they can keep you and your sisters from selling your flowers, then they've got another thing coming.
>You don't care that half of the town is burning down.
>You are SELLING these CELESTIA-DAMNED flowers.
>>
>>27668820
Yea pretty much
>>
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>>27669512
>queen bugbutt is attacking ponyville and ruining YOUR business!
>well you are gonna be selling these flowers one way or another!
>you and the other three march up to the queen of popin out kids.
>"yes, YES feed my childre-... um may i help you thr-"
>you jump up punch the changling queen in the eye, and rip her down too eye level.
"Now you listen here BITCH you and your kids better ether buy OUR flowers or FUCK OFF!"
>"w-wha who do you think you are laying your di—"
>*smack*
>you smack the pest again with a pimp cane that human gave you awhile ago.
>after awhile of *negotiations* you and your sister's make the most money you ever have in a life time... OH and your pimp cane has a nice shade of green on it now.
>anon got some business out of it too.
>after everypony saw the great ways you cane use your pimp cane they all wanted one.
>pinkie even bought a custom one that shoots confetti.
>>
>>27669981
>Colt abuse rates then increased exponentially in Ponyville after the sales
>>
>>27669997
And nothing of value was lost.
>>
>>27664593
Pones think anon is a girl is my favorite concept, next to rgre of course
>>
You know what would be pretty cool?
If I could put my dick inside all of these sentient magical horses and cuddle them all night, but that'll never happen so I guess there's no other choice but to get dead drunk.
>>
>>27664617
This warmup for getting back into jagog? He writes hopefully.
>>
>>
>>27670526
hippie pone is worst pone.
>>
>>27670553
HEY!! i agree with you
>>
>>27670553
lies and slander.
>>
>>27670553
Accurate statement is accurate.
>>
>>27670526
CROTCHES ARE TOUCHING
>>
>>27670930
That's a mighty high amount of distress over crotches touching. Is that like balls touching?

>"A-Anon! This is super gay!"
"...what? What are you talking about? We're having sex, Rainbow. You, a girl; and me, a boy. It can't be LESS gay."
>"B-b-but crotches are touching!"
>>
>>27671146
No, that would be teats touching.
>>
>>27671187
Would that mean Anon can't be homosexual with pone no matter what gender the pone is? Stallions don't have teats.
>>
>>27671214
Pony can pretend Anon's nuts are teats and suckle on them.
>>
>>27671187
Did you know that stallions don't have nipples?

>You are Anon, and this horse pussy sure does taste good.
>Why didn't you fuck a horse sooner?
>You're on your back with Rainbow laying on your chest, her pussy at easy access to your mouth.
>You start to really get into it when you feel something brush up against your man-nipples.
>Rainbow gasps and jerks away from you.
"What's the matter, Dashie?" you ask, licking your lips.
>Rainbow rolls off of you and looks at you apologetically.
>"Ugh... Sorry, Anon. Look, I know you're a guy and all, right?"
>You certainly hope so.
>You had your dick practically poking her in the eye just a few moments ago.
"Right?"
>Rainbow looks away and holds her forehooves in front of her crotch defensively...
>No, wait....
>She's grabbing at her engorged teats, smooshing them against herself protectively.
>"But... You have..."
>Rainbow Dash sighs explosively.
>"Your teats brushed up against mine, okay?! That's really gay, Anon!"
>You're shocked for a moment, but you quickly recover.
>Gay, huh?
>You can fix that.
"You know what ISN'T gay, Rainbow Dash?"
>Rainbow grunts in response and looks at you, irritated and embarrassed.
>You grab her by the armpits and slam her down on your crotch.
>Your cock is sandwiched between her fat teats, and you can feel the wet heat of her pussy on your balls.
"This."
>You begin thrusting.
>>
>>27671238

I like this
>>
>>27671238
IT ISN'T GAY UNLESS THE OVARIES TOUCH
>>
>>27671480
>prolapsing vagina green when
>>
>>27671238
Crotchboobjob, woo.
>>
>>27671488
You asked for this.
>Ponies are like starfishes
>They turn themselves inside out to eat and fuck
>Anon tries fucking one, he ends up surrounded by ponyvag when they extrude their vaginal sac and womb
>He ends up covered head to toe in marecum
>After five minutes, the vaginal sac deflates as the pony is overcome from too much sex
>By the time Anon is done, the pony is just lying there in a puddle, slightly twitching with their reproductive, respiratory, and gastrointestinal systems in a big pile
"Damn, these ponies have pretty puffy pussies"
>They also grow back when you cut part of them off
>The mirror pool was actually just a woodchipper
>Pinkie put her leg into it and clones grew from the resulting mess
>They are kind of weirded out by Anon's bits being stuck on the inside

>>27671238
Write more.

>>27671146
>Anon turns all the mares gay
>Homoerotiscism reaches dangerous levels
>Camp levels get so high Adam Wests and Village people start raining down
>The cleaning industry experiences a record boom from all the splattered aliens
>Eventually Anon turns them so gay they loop back around to being straight
>The day is saved by the same one who brought it to the brink of ruin
>By doing the exact same thing that caused the mess in the first place
>"That's our Anon."

>>27669981
>>27669512
Keep going.
>>
>>27648997
>cum inflation
Mares showcase their husbands and gloat how filled they can get during sex.
>>
>>27672527
No no no. The males show off how big their testicles are.
>>
>>27672582
Big testicles are good for polygamous species, ponies are monogamous in happy marriages.
>>
>>27672619
>Monogamous ponies
What thread do you think you are in?
>>
>>27672619
A single mare can only hold so much cum.
>>
Where is the anon the Wrighter story?
>>
>>27671214
Anon has nipples.

Mares have nipples.
>>
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>>27671973
I wrote off that 1 about the pimp caneing i have no idea were to go with it not a write friend
>>
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>>27673141
>>
>>27673027
>More reason to believe Anon is a female
>Anything that has teats is a lady, right?
>Inb4 Anon basically becomes the RGRE variant of a cuntboy
>>
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>>27673245
So anon is the equestrian of pic related
>>
>>27647488
"Holy horse pussy!"
>>
>>27672808
It's called it gave me goosebumps, and the guy needs to update his paistbin
>>
page 7 8nt g8 m8
>>
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Bumping with a tiny bit of green. I don't have much prepared, but things are slow.

(continuing from: http://pastebin.com/Kxyzgiy1)

>>"So, what are we doing for sleeping arrangements?"
>The human looks between you and Lyra hopefully; you on the sofa, and Lyra on his lap.
>Naturally, you look away.
>It's one thing to see your sis getting her belly rubbed, right?
>But it's another thing entirely to watch a stallion hoof them out to any mare who presents her soft underbelly to him.
>Your tummy feels funny when you think about that, and you absent-mindedly rub it with a hoof to try and dispel the feeling.
>Beside you, Anonymous coos softly and scratches your ears.
>>"Aww, does somebody want belly rubs?"
"What?! N-no!" you gasp, shying away and curling up to hide your soft, rub-able shame.
>Anonymous just smiles at you indulgently as though there was nothing wrong with casually offering belly rubs to just any mare.
>It wasn't supposed to be like this!
>You've seen so many episodes of My Little Human; human stallions are supposed to be soft-spoken and gentle and... and..
>Pure!
>Pure as the fallen snow!
>Not some kind of whore who gives away his body like he has no self-respect!
>You sniffle and wipe your snoozle.
>Why couldn't he have been like your imaginary human husbando?
>>
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>>27675236
>>"Aww, c'mere."
>You don't resist when Anonymous pulls you into his arms and hugs you into his warm, soft chest.
>You can hear his heart beating.
>Somewhere off in the distance of your awareness, Lyra grunts in annoyance as she's forced off of his lap.
>>"What's got you so upset, sweetie?"
>This is the worst.
"Y-you can take my bed."
>>"Hmm?" hums Anonymous, his voice rumbling deep in his chest.
>You take a deep breath and clear your throat, composing yourself.
"Sleeping arrangements; you can take my bed."
>It's the least you can do.
>If you know Lyra (and you like to think you do), then you know that she'll try and trick Anonymous into sleeping with her in her own bed.
>She's already tried to trick Anonymous into blowing raspberries into her tummy.
>As though that isn't one of the dirtiest things you can do.
>You love Lyra like a sister (n-no homo), but she is the biggest Humie this side of the My Little Human fanbase.

>You are briefly Anonymous.
>Something's got this tiny, adorable cream-coloured pony upset, and it's breaking your heart.
>Maybe if you do that thing to her tummy that Lyra taught you to do, it'll cheer her up.
>>
>>27675247
Jesus, when you said tiny, I didn't think you'd stop right before the raspberries
>>
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>>27675247
yesss
>>
>>27675587
You didn't want to hear about how Bon Bon made a mess on Anon's pants.

>>27675654
>Anon enjoys
Thanks, friendo.

>>27664617
We're talking in spoilers because we're the cool kids and talking in spoilers is the hip thing to do.
>>
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>>27675842
Actually I did.

I did want to hear about how Bonbon lost complete control of herself and came all over Anon's pants.
>>
>>27675893
Oh, okay.

>*PBPBPTHPBPBTHPBPBTH*
>hhhhhnnnnngasdfalsjd
>Your mind goes blank as pleasure rockets through your body.
>Delicious, intoxicating vibrations originating from your tummy tum-tums spread throughout your body and make your limbs twitch erratically.
"Aaaah! Ahh... Ahhnaaawwwhhnnn'muhhs!"
>You do your best to tell Anonymous to stop, but you only manage to moan out his name.
>With your legs out of commission and your orgasm rapidly approaching, you can do little but lay there on your back and stare into Anonymous' eyes.
>Your body tenses up and your breath hitches as heat explodes in your loins.
>It feels like your womb is a water balloon, and it just burst.
"Nnyyahh~"
>You can feel your juices flow from your winking marehood, down past your twitching ponut, and onto Anonymous' pants.
>Dear Celestia, there's no end to it!
>Why does the human have to be so good with his mouth?
>Why was this skill never addressed on My Little Human?!
>Anonymous removes his plump, pleasurable lips from your saliva-coated belly.
>To your slightly addled surprise, he doesn't drop you on the floor, or yell at you, or ANYTHING.
>You're left panting, twitching, and satisfied.
>Also, terrified.
>You're still pretty sure you're going to end up with a black eye.

>You are Anon.
>The fuck just happened?
>>
>>27676016
Is this canon?
>>
>>27676021
Absolutely.
>>
>>27676016
>>It feels like your womb is a water balloon, and it just burst.
hot
>>
who had that "Lyra and BonBon visit Anon at Humiecon" green?
>>
>anon teaching human history through music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrJAwCBbnuc
>>
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>>27676016
>you will never make mare's womb explode
>>
>>27676191
That's also an accurate description of the amount of fluids Bon Bon deposited onto Anon's lap.
>>
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>>27676016
>tfw you're rubbing your best mare friend's belly and she suddenly curls into a little ball and starts shaking violently while cumming everywhere
>>
>>27676563
Ponies aren't used to fingers. The most sensual belly-touch they know is a hoof mashing their ribcages.
>>
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>>27676563
>>27676826
>As soon as he touched my wings, I came and started farting
>>
>>27676016
>TFW your marefrirend corrupted your pure apelien husbando
>>
>>27676861
>You are Lyra
>Anon no longer has virgin lips
>tfw you can never horsemarry him now w/o being disowned by your family
>>
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>>27676928
I'll make sure Lyra no longer has virgin lips.
>>
>>27677084
the solution is an orgy between Lyra, Bonnie, and Anon. Level the playing field; if nobody has virgin ANYTHING, then the distinction between the three of them doesn't matter any more
>>
we need more mares self-conscious about their plump rumps. LaP-style
>>
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>>27677142
I want pegasus mares self conscious about their wings.
>>
>>27676245
That was Frosty a few threads back I think.
>>
>>27677183
Wasn't there a green that mentioned Anon walking in on Fluttershy measuring her wings with a ruler and having to console her after?
>>
>>27677282
>>27677183
WING ROT
>Be Pone in Poneland
>Big apleien husbando magically apeared just like in your anineighs
>"Make a contract with me and become a magical pon"
"Okay"
>You sign the contract
>"You are now a magical pone"
"Hooray!"
>You are delighted at this!
>Wait you feel the same as you did before
"I feel the same though"
>"Were you magic before?"
"Um, yes?"
>"That's why then, You're magical now and you were magical before, so you feel like you did before."
"Can i shoot magic spells and stuff?"
>"Idk, my job was just for you to be magical. Beyond being magical, it's not my department."
"Aww."
>Unbeknownst to either of you, the paper the contract was on came from China
>The Chinese germs infect you
>Your wings rot and fall off
>"Shit man, you should see a doctor about that."
>At least you got a husbando, right?
>*POOF*
>Well whinny-fuck, he disappeared
>Today was a bad day
>>
>>27677466
DURNK, CONTROL YOURSELF
>>
Ok, how would you go about making changelings not exactly evil by nature, but circumstances kind of dicked them over? I have the idea for how they use to interact with ponies, and how relations went sour... but my issue is without making celestia/chrysalis retarded I can't really come up with a good reason as to why relations stayed sour.

I want to make up through the wedding happen, but I'm drawing a blank on how to make changelings not evil just the shit end of a stick.
>>
>>27677667
Make it so Celestia doesn't know the full situation, while Chrysalis thinks she DOES. Whatever caused relations to sour seemed different to both rulers, because they're leaders and working off the knowledge only their side can get.
>>
>>27677667
Simple misunderstanding would work I think. Such as the whole love extraction thing has been in the same category as men getting tricked by succbussses, it can happen and usually you hsould be ashamed by it happening, but some rather like the idea.

For example say that Queen buggy was giving the V to some colt prince warrior that Celestia was looking to fuck as a way to deal with her Sister's banishment so she wasn't so lonely. Cue Celestia walking in on a double of herself fucking the colt and you've got a ready made race war right there. Chysalis probably didn't know that the colt was involved with Celestia and just wanted good strong babies for the hive from the warrior prince. Add in some court intrigue where Celestia and the colt in question wanted to keep it hush hush for public relation reasons and your golden I think.
>>
>>27677667
Make Chrysalis vindictive and a strong grudge holder.
>>
>>27677732
The way I have it is Changelings were on good terms with ponies, they provided 'services' in exchange for love. but with a changing tide gender roll views shifted, and due to changelings being part of pony land but not really part of ponyland their culture more or less sayed as is in views, and an outside push fucked em over hard.

The problem I have with this is I cant wrap my head around what could happen to cement the wedding happening instead of a diplomatic solution.

>>27677757
>>27677791

Largely I want ponies to not be to blame for the 'banishment' the the changelings, I mean they played a part, but I have another 'evil' that sewed the seeds.

Misunderstandings at least on the changeling side shouldn't happen considering how good their spy network should be. At least with the exception of that story where the chrysalis refused to supply field agents and former spies come to the canterlot dungeons to spit in her face telling her to go fuck herself. For me I have celestia double down on governing so she doesn't notice the small changes happening till everything is flipped upside down, which is related to why changelings were fucked over in the first place.

Think a policy of inaction, as in celestia doesn't directly say good job or knock that shit off when changelings are found and run out of town would be a good enough reason for chrysalis to do the wedding? Poor judgements based on hunger and few other side variables = invasion is a better idea then diplomacy?

As for vindictive would she hold a grudge on the 'ponies' who fucked her over even after those 'ponies' got bit in the ass harder then everyone else?
>>
>>27677914
>The problem I have with this is I cant wrap my head around what could happen to cement the wedding happening instead of a diplomatic solution.

How about having Chrysalis thing Celestia purposefully made it so changelings were viewed that way, so she stopped trusting her. Eventually her children started to starve, so she had to either trust the person she blames for her children starving in the first place, or taking the "food" by force so there's no chance for Celestia to fuck them over again.
>>
>>27678007
Ok, I'm going to have it so that Crystalis is fairly old, don't know if she lived with luna being around or not, but old. A few hundred years after luna was sent to the moon, the gender rolls changed, So what use to be picking up a stallion at a bar is now taking advantage of the poor defenseless stallion. Shit happened and celestia came down on ponies side with half information. Thoroughly pissed off, chrysalis decided to track down what the actual fuck happened, because at this point changelings weren't exactly infiltrators and hidden all the time, the most they did was watch a stallion and find out their preference, then turn up at the bar or by them looking for a fun time.

Needless to say, the fucking yaks decided try and reverse the gender rolls so conquering the world would be easier... 1 generation later they got hit by rgr pretty hard, and they were militant about it unlike the rest of the world at this point, effectively killing off any plan they could have had leaving them a shadow of their former selves, with really whiney bitches being the leaders we have now.


With that as largely the changeling backstory, having the wedding happen is a bit hard, however policy dictated by inaction seems plausible.

I honestly want celestia to largely be a good guy, just that she made a snap judgement and chose the wrong side.
Hell she knows the changelings and their feeding habits and chooses not to act on them herself, the wedding could have showed her how bad off they are, or forced her to look into changelings a bit more again revealing their shit situation to her. However no real diplomatic relations makes it a bit hard to really send a message to them telling them you want to help.
>>
The fuck?
>>
>>27678258
You're not my type.
>>
>>27678262
You're not a faggot?
>>
>>27678802
>not a faggot
>on MY 4chan
HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE
>>
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>>27678802
>not a faggot
>on 4chin
>>
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>Secretary griffon comes to Ponyville
>his striking appearance rustles all the mares
>legs
>Anon tries to suppress his feelings
>gets buttmad jelly when he sees him alone with his horse waifu
>wants to duke it out like real men
>the burb agrees, but not now
>next day, Anon arrives at the agreed upon location
>there's a mud pit and the female population of Ponyville on stands, watching
>burb is on the other side of the pit
>rolls up sleeves and gets to it
>the nimble legs of your opponent lash out like whips
>pulling your legs out from under you
>claws tearing at your suit
>theres a glint in that fucker's eye as your torn trousers, heavy with the sticky mud, flop down to your ankles
>Anon loses the match somehow, what were the win conditions anyway?
>rivalry intensifies
>>
>>27678868
What a loser.
>>
>>27678868
>Be Birb in poneland
>Got secretary job for some small horses
>Takan messages, gettan coffee
>Meet mutant minotaur bull while at the coffee shop
>Find he's up for some wrasslin
>Wrassle the fuck out of eash other
>Whole town is cheeran
>Pants him right good
>Cor, look at the donger he's got
>Just swinging there tween his legs like it's the middle o' spring
>It's roight beyootiful
>N-no homo
>Mino puts up a good fight but you eventually win
>Maybe next time, mate
>Today was a pretty good day
>>
Why is /mlp/ so dead nowadays? It used to be relatively fast. I'd never see a thread which was barely clinging to life like these ones, with one post every two hours.
>>
>>27679214
/mlp/ is a fad, the slowdown and eventual death is inevitable
>>
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>>27679214
People got bored. We'd be even slower if we had less "xfags will defends this" threads just copied from /v/ and other shitposting. There really isn't that much to talk about when the show is very shallow.
>>
>>27678108
>Not spoilering your entire fucking post
>2016
Get with the times, Anon.
>>
>>27678108
So are you going to write the story or are you going to describe it to us in great detail behind spoiler tags?
>>
>>27679214
Summer. It's been proven that there aren't necessarily more shitposting children than usual, but a lot of people THINK that there are, so they leave until they think it's safe to come back.

Give it a month or two, Anon.
>>
>>27679472
don't forget the mid summer hiatus
>>
>>27678868
what
>>
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>>27678868
>>
>>27645035
>"it's dangerous to go alone. Take this.."
>>
>>27680076
Because Anon is a lone stallion with no herd or family, he is given a filly/colt to be a father to so he'll settle after the sudden change better.
>>
>>27680113
It's actually because of a certain Cheerilee story you wrote you bastard
>>
>>27680113
>Be Anon.
>Now in Equestria, a place.
>The farmer pony seems to want something.
>"It's dangerous to go alone. Take this."
>She pushes what you think is her sister forward towards you.
"What?"
>The child pony walks over to you
>"Go on, take it."
>"Hi Mr Anon!"
>You walk away cautiously, like anyone would after being offered a child by a farmer.
>The child pony follows you, and Applejack leaves.
>"Be a good gal, y'hear."
>"Bye sis."
>Nope.
>You keep walking away.
>The small small horse keeps following you.
>She follows you all the way home.
>You go inside and make damn sure to lock the door.
>Hopefully she'll get bored and leave.
>The next morning you find her still there, with signs of her having slept at your doorstep.
>Not wanting to deal with more of this weird farmer bullshit, you decide to get the government to remove this vagrant from your property.
>Good thing she lives next to you.
>You go outside, being careful to lock the door behind you to keep ponies out, and knock on your neighbor's door.
>"Good morning Anonymous, what brings you here today?"
"Can you get the ponice to come collect a lost child pony?"
>"A lost foal? I'll get right on it."
>Four hours later the ponice tell you that she's your problem now.
>Well that sucks.
>How else can you deal with this?
>Maybe you're approaching this the wrong way...
I can't decide whether to have her become a handy walking table, get tied to a post, get killed, get mailed to far lands, or something else.
>>
>>27680266
Have he be like Droopy.
No matter what he does to get rid of her, she always shows back up.
I just realized that's pretty much Jason Voorhees, too.
>>
>>27680292
>Always shows back up if you get separated.
That sounds like a pretty rad table right there.
>>
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>>27680266
"You can't just expect me to take care of some random foal you've hoofed onto me."
>"And why not? It's a darn good exercise tuh bein' a good father, 'Nawn.
"So, what; you're just GIVING your family away?"
>You gesture down to Applebloom, who you've got secured in a puppoose.
"That doesn't make any sense!"
>Applejack ignores your argument and pats Applebloom on the head with her forehoof.
>"Y'all doin' good there, Applebloom?"
>The tiny filly suspended at your side nods.
>>"Yah-huh! Anon got me tuh bed on time an' made me a real yummy breakfast this mornin'!"
"Oh, come on. I wasn't going to starve your sister, Applejack," you protest, but your words fall onto deaf ears.
>Clearly pleased, Applebloom squirms happily in her cloth carrying device.
>>"He even let me sleep in his bed when Ah done had a nightmare!"
"She was crying!"
>Applejack nods, turns her back to you, and walks away.
>"What'd Ah tell you, 'Nawn? Yer a natural daddy!"
"I don't want to do this! C'mon, not even the police will take her back!"
>Applejack waves at you, still not looking back.
>"Ah'll be checkin' up on y'all next week!"
>You watch as Applejack walks back to her farm, and do your best to stamp down your frustration.
>C'mon, Anon; no yelling.
>Not in front of the child.
>A tiny hoof prods your arm a few moments later, and you absent-mindedly start petting her mane.
>>"Anon? Can we get ice cream?"
>These fucking ponies.
>>
>>27680266
Anon should carry her around in a backpack, Banjo Kazooie style.
She could throw apples at his enemies.
>>
>>27680418
kick her out, then slap Applejack.
>>
>>27680418
>applebloom accidentally walks in on anon taking a shower
>his back's to her, so she can see he's got a blank flank
>mission acquired!
>>
>>27680443
>You are Applebloom
>You've never met your parents; you were too young to remember them before they died.
>After all this time you spent trying to find your cutie mark, doing anything you could think of that you might be good at, you have started to worry that you'll NEVER get one.
>But here's Anon! He's a grown-up hoo-man and he STILL doesn't have one!


Applebloom makes a big leap of logic and thinks that her having no cutie mark is because Anon's her real dad and humans don't even GET cutie marks.

Anon just thinks it's cute when Applebloom suddenly starts calling him "papa".
>>
bump from 9
>>
>>27680546
That's way dumb.

Like Something-Durnk-Would-Have-Come-Up-With dumb.
>>
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page 9? What has RGRE done to deserve this?
>>
>>27681001
Hey! My ideas aren't that bad.

Crosspostan Friendship and Fitness Activities
>>27680860
>Be Lyra, mint green pone.
>You're the mare who runs the town gym.
>It's got everything a gym could need.
>Heavy things for ponies to pick up and put back down again.
>A bed for ponies to lie on when they want to pick things up lying down.
>A sitting down treadmill with extra pedals.
>Some medicine bowls.
>And a piano for the dancaerobics sessions and the thrash metal yoga classes.
>EVERYTHING!
>Except the thing you want the most.
>A human.
>But that's going to change soon!
>You've been sending fliers for the gym to him every day.
>You only need him to pick one of them up for that contact poison Bonnie got for you to work it's magic.
>Then you'll finally have a gym partner to call your own.
>Stupid Bonnie and her employees-only company gym
>You'll show her.
>You'll show them all!

>>27681002
You know what you did.
>>
>>27680546
>Be Applebloom, smallest of the howdy horses.
>Ever since AJ adopted you to Mister Anon, you've been wondering something.
>You've never seen his cutiemark, he's always wearing so much clothes.
>Like a ton of clothes.
>He has clothes for wearing over his other clothes!
>So what is his special talent?
>You have to find out, what kind of mare doesn't know her own family's special talents?
>A plumb bad one, that's who.
>And you aren't gonna let down family like that.
>It's not been easy trying to figure it out, Mr. Anonymous almost never takes off those clothes of his.
>He only does it when he thinks he's alone, and puts them back on afterwards
>You gotta be all sneaky-like.
>Waiting is tough, but you're an Apple and Apples can tough it through.
>>
>>27681242
>"Turns out ruttin' is his special talent."
>>
Are there any more stories about/with minotaurs, like "Cow tipping"?
http://pastebin.com/pSeAqG9T
>>
>>27681945
no
>>
>Anon goes to house party
>Drunk mares encourage him to make out with stallions
>>
File: bonsad.png (141KB, 900x825px)
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>>27681002
You should have listened.
>>
Any good RGR green where things aren't so ham-fisted as they are here? Less blatantly being all, "Oh, you're a stallion, you don't know better" or "Nonsense Anon, you need a big strong mare to take care of you"?

I'm talking about casual or subtle things w/o the author spelling it out. Like, a pony has a problem with Anon and his mare friends (romantic or actually just friends) wordlessly walk in between him and the threat. Or Anon's romantic partner taking on a slightly more dominant role w/o bringing too much attention to it, like doing the groceries without consulting Anon, or telling Anon to be careful with how he spends his money. The sort of things you would expect from someone who is the head of the household to do and act.
>>
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>>27678262
FUCKiNG NORMIE FAG GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOARD! GOD FUCKING DAAAAAM!
REEEEEEEE
normies face when
>>
>>27682555
There were occasionally. Usually those got shut down with shitpostings of "not RGR enough" so we don't get them as much anymore.
>>
>>27680443
>be applebloom
>yer gonna get anon his cutie mark if its the last thing ya do!
>but right now anons hanging out with his friend rainbow dash.
>boy their being loud up there.
>oh anons comeing down!
"So anon i was thinking we chould try swimming for yer cutie mark first!"
>"dont need to."
"Whata ya mean?"
>you look at anons rear and see something.
>its a cutie mark!
>it looks like a picture of rainbow dash with her front half low to the ground, and her rear in the air...
"Anon so your cutie marks for doing yoga with rainbow dash, Thats nice!
>"ya shur *yoga*."
"Ma friend scootaloo's gonna be soooo jealous!"

>be rainbow dash.
>holy mother of celestia did that stallion just rut you!
>then he got a cutie mark...
>ooh ya you and him are gonna be seeing him alot more.

>be scootaloo.
>that dam ape just got a cutie mark of rainbow dash.
>YOUR RAINBOW DASH!
>not only that shes in THAT pose.
>you've been on /mlh/ long enough to know THAT pose.
>...
"The great ape must die!"
>"what was that scoots?"
"Nothing."

>be anon.
>you hate this.
>>
>>27682865
>>27682871
RGRE is dead and we killed it.
>>
>>27682871
Ok this amuses me too much, Scootaloo is a humie and is jealous of Anon getting a cutiemark of Rainbow in that position.
>>
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>>27682871
>The grammar
>>
>>27682871
Oh man, the English, the grammar.

My soul.
>>
>>27683019
>(You)
>>
>>27681945
Thanks Anon, that was nice read.
>>
>>27682865
Oh no, we don't get more boring stories with a phony veneer of RGRE slapped on as an afterthought. How shall we live another day?
>>
>>27683221
thought so too.
trying to find more minotaur stuff now
>>
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betterminotaurFIN.png
516KB, 1440x8200px
>>27683291
Take this and check Weird Waifu thread, they might have something.
>>
>>27683284
So you want the tumblr version of RGRE:

>Gender roles being reversed is literally the only thing going on in the story and it's the ONLY THING that defines it; just "HEY GUYS LOOK THE GIRLS ARE BOYS HOW WACKY IS THAT"
>No plot; the THEME is the plot! What's more exciting than reading the same thing over and over again but with different characters?
>No character development; barely any character personality. Being over-the-top, ham-fisted sexists takes up too much room to allow for an individual. Cookie-cutter characters are the BEST characters.

You insufferable prick.
>>
>>27683389
thanks a lot anon
>>
>>27683407
Cry harder, faggot. You don't think your bullshit is totally transparent?
>muh character development, muh personality, muh subtlety
Bitch, bitch, bitch. It's just the same "I'm too cool for your pleb fanfiction! I go to /lit/!" faggotry that every dumb asshole pulls when they think it will make them look smart.

You want a subtle (boring as fuck) RGRE story? Then how about you write it yourself, post it here, we'll all tell you how you're a stupid fag who couldn't come up with an interesting story if his life depended on it. Then you'll bitch at us for the rest of the thread like the little crybaby dipshit you are and ruin everyone's day until 500 posts passes us by.
>>
>>27683461
autism
>>
>>27683461
>>muh character development, muh personality, muh subtlety
lol
>Muh things that make for good writing!
Dude you're listing all good things to find in a story.
>>
>>27683389
Man, that shit got retarded pretty quick at the ''''fight'''' scene.
>>
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>>27683461
>>
>>27683461
>>27683407
>>27683284

Shit you nigglets are salty today. I guess as long as everyone is having fun though . . .
>>
>>27683475
Are you really this stupid? Do I have to spell it out for you?
When someone complains about that stuff, they are just lying. It is a lie. Fabricated bullshit.

When a person bitches about something subjective like "character development", without justifications, examples, or actual suggestions - it's literally a person saying "I don't like thing!" and trying to dress it up so that no one calls them out on it.

You want more RGRE stories that are not actually RGRE at all beyond the authors assertion that they are? Stories about fucking grocery shopping? Well be my guest, faggot. But don't expect everyone to just sit here and say your shit tastes like chocolate cake.
>>
>>27683461
Remind me how many times this thread hit page 8 or 9? It sure seems like your readers aren't all that thirsty for your non-"boring as fuck" stories, Anon.
>>
>>27683638
>"I want something well-written."
>>"NO FUCK YOU REEEEEE"
>>
>>27683638
sorry to disturb your safe space Anon
>>
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>>27648006
I M P R E G N A T E T H E M A R E S
>>
>>27682871
>That grammar
AAAARGH MUH SOUL
>>
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347KB, 524x706px
>>27683638
>>
>>27683468
Don't call that normie piece of shit autism.
>>
We need more minotaur fun.
https://derpibooru.org/1181196
>>
>>27684022
I want to touch the cow
>>
>>27684022
>>27684058
TOUCH THE COW
>>
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>>27684022
>>27684058
>>27684068
DO IT NOW
>>
>>27654005
I think I got cancer from this abominable nasty ass 3d animation-like visual shit
>>
>>27660886
holy shit the absolute madman hahaha
ilu apa, no homo
>>
New thread.

>>27684744
>>
And one to kill the thread.
>>
>>27684777
Im on IT!
>>
>>27684846
1
>>
>>27684858
2
>>
>>27684887
3
>>
>>27684894
4
>>
>>27684907
5
>>
>>27683064
>>27683019
>>27682957
>>27683142
Ya i know im not very good at doing long text because i get bored half way through and don't care about spelling errors sorry
Thread posts: 508
Thread images: 105


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