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Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

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Thread replies: 507
Thread images: 83

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Previous thread: >>27413118

GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aoh8YH3I0q78czAnb9mt_4h5jUeCUbivFV5WhAh935U/edit?pli=1

Old CrazyRain's Stories' Archives:
http://pastebin.com/C82B4dea
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>>27440375
Dong ring averted.
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Time to pic related for another wild ride.
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Man do these threads move fast.
>>
>Flutterrape in RGRE
>FLuttershy violently holds Anon down and forces him to penetrate
>Anon tearfully explains what happened to Twilight
>Anon is genuinely surprised when Twilight believes him and even more surprised when Fluttershy is punished
>Anon has mixed feels that he can only get justice for a woman raping him when he is this society's woman
>>
>>27440466
>Anon discovers book on summoning demons
>Uses summoning ritual instead of a lighter
>Stick of chalk is less trouble to refill and waterproof
>Carves summoning circles into his barbeque and stove to save money on fuel
>Demonpon is just as good as charcoal fire for cooking on
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>>27440480
How quaint
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>>27440508
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A portal opens up to Equestria this fucker come through proceeds to steal your waifu and head back to portal to sale your waifu to salt mine, abusive circus or freak sex brothel on earth what do ?
>>
>>27440466
>>27440504
>anon summons a succubus
>succubus thinks he's an incubus
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>>27440564
Obviously I sue him and get him imprisoned for shady business practices.
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>>27440564
kill him.
*looks around*
I'm not just some asshole right? we'd all go straight to the kill option?
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>>27440578
>Together they fight crime
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>>27440593
>>27440596
fucking kek
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>>27440578
>Pones see Anon as an incubus, and the whole interdimensional being/stamina thing doesn't help either
>Older stallions urge the younglings to stray away from the bipedal sex-demon, while mares constantly bring him offerings of salt in exchange for losing their V-Card
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>>27440466
That's because the autism is extra strong here.
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>>27440681
DAT ASS
A
T

A
S
S
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>>27440681
>That torso length
OK, who taffy-stretched the alicorn again?
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>>27440593
>>27440596
If he where to succeed in selling pony waifu to one of the three places how would you proceed in rescuing her and other pony's that have been taken and enslaved?
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>>27440725
Stop
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>>27440681
How can you resist burying your face into that ass?

I am but a mere mortal man.

I can not resist!
YOU ASK TOO MUCH OF ME GOD!
>>
>>27440681
Dear god, her back legs are waaay to long.
Over all her proportions are all fucked up...
Though it's still a nice pic...
>>
>>27440738
It was made by Sunibee. His art improved significantly as he continued drawing. I'm a fan of his mass collection of ponut arts
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>>27440777
Ponut trips
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>>27440564
Not RGRE. Fuck off.
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>>27441172
Shoo shoo autist
>>
>>27441208
This isn't the 'Ding dong, waifu wat do' thread.
>>
>>27441172
>>27441259
I was just having a little fun since there's no green yet party pooper
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>>27441259
>Be Amon in Equestria
>Finally meet waiifu
>Seduce using magic water powers
>Bitches love magic
>About to fuck her
>Dick is hard as fuck
>She looks up from your willy to your eye
>And has one thing to say
>"Wait, where's the ring?"
"What ring?"
>"Your dong ring."
"Wut?"
>"There's supposed to be a ring bit at the middle of your dongshaft"
"Like one of those strap things they sell in sex shops to keep you hard?"
>"No, the bit where it folds back at."
>"I've been licking it for like a minute and you're still not all the way hard. Is your donger defective?"
"My rod doesn't retract."
>"Really?"
>She's very intently examining your cock now
>"I think I'm going to need more light for this. Just a moment."
>She goes and turns on the light and then looks at your penis more.
>"Is this normal for humans?
>The questioning and examinations go on for quite a while
>You still end up fucking her though, it's just she's very analytical about it
>Also she asks you to come back for further studies, some of which will involve further sex
>Today was a good day
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>>27441436
>>Be Amon in Equestria
>Finally meet waiifu
>Seduce using magic water powers

Honestly thought this was an avatar reference that was going to wind up with equalizing
>>
>>27441499
Equalizing can come later.
First you gotta fuck that alien.
>>
Anyone gonna work with: >>27440397

Sounds like fun.
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>>27440622
I've had this in my to-do box for fucking ever now.

Anyway, new thread needs green, even if it is past 3 AM where I am.

Don't say I don't do anything for you fellas.

>You are Twilight Sparkle.
>Still.
>You’ve always been you.
>It’d be irrational for you to have ever thought that you were somepony else.
>Mare, this colt makes it hard to think straight.
“So, umm . . . where would you like to go?”
>He laughs that wonderful laugh again, standing up to his . . . full . . . whoah that’s tall.
>Like, taller than Celestia.
>He stretches and pops with a soft moan as he rears up to full height.
>. . . well you’re just gonna file that away for processing later.
>”I’m not exactly a local here, maybe you should pick the place?”
>He takes a few steps toward the door.
>”Umm, do you need to grab a . . . saddle or something?”
“Why would I need a saddle? That’s . . . “
>You turn a slight shade of pink.
“L-lewd . . .”
>As the implications of such an article of clothing slowly dawns on him, as his eyes grow slightly wider.
>”Oh. That . . . makes sense.”
>You trot a few paces closer to him.
“Actually, I was going to ask if you were, you know, going to wear . . . all that . . . out in public.”
>Especially those socks . . . navy blue.
>You swallow hard and try not to stare.
>You suffer a critical failure, and stare even harder than if you had tried not to stare.
>”All what?”
>Right. Interdimensional traveler having no real grasp of local culture.
>Looks like you found the first topic of breakfast discussion.
>>
>>27441673
“Okay, so, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but most ponies go around nude.”
>”You’re a unicorn.”
>Your next utterance dies in your throat as you think about how painfully stupid that statement is.
“While that is *entirely* correct, I am referring to the general group of equine species that inhabits the land of Equestria.”
>He looks a little crestfallen at this.
>”So many horse puns.”
>You ignore him.
“Clothing is broken down into three categories, formal, protective, and . . . intimate. Being expensive and difficult to manufacture for anypony other than a unicorn, it was initially only used when protection from the environment was needed. For example, by a Blacksmith would have a protective apron and leggings fashioned to protect him from the heat of the forge, sparks, and fragments of slag. The relative cost of manufacturing such a garment eventually became an indicator of wealth. Merchants began adopting protective wear of their own to signify that they were skilled at their trade, just like any craftsman, and were able to afford such expenses. This eventually led to an ever increasing-”
>Anon clears his throat and is now tapping his foot and giving you a look that says “I’m in need of meal, not a lecture on the historical evolution of clothing in an equine society.”
>You grin sheepishly.
“Well, long story short, things like underwear, stockings, and shoes became a sort of bedroom specialty.”
>You begin examining the floorboards for stains, as it’s much easier than making eye contact.
>”So you’re telling me, that all clothing, is essentially lingerie.”
“Not all clothing!”
>You assert rather weakly
“Just . . . the vast majority. There are certain trends which are considered high class and fashion. It’s not so much the trousers and shirt, but the socks.”
>Wow, is it hot in here, or is it just him . . . waitImeanyou-
>>
>>27441673
>Amphetanon is bringing the green
Rejoice, brothers!
>>
>>27441691
>”Yeah . . . in my culture, this is about as conservative as you can get. I mean, I was a cashier. Dress shoes, khaki slacks, company polo and a belt . . . this outfit beats abstinence when it comes to preventing pregnancy. Or at least ties. Depends on your religion.”
>He starts taking his shoe off, leaning against the doorway to support himself.
>Oh, that’s a neat trick, you hadn’t really thought of the impracticality of putting on and taking off shoes as a biped.
>Suddenly you’re facing a strange, slightly smelly pinkish appendage with 5 little nubs on the end, each topped off with small, vestigial looking talons.
>You can’t contain your sudden burst of realization.
“Plantigrade, that makes sense why you’d wear shoes and socks all the time!”
>Your unease about discussing why a colt shouldn’t wear socks in public was overcome with a desire to know more about a fascinating and compliant entirely alien subject that you were about to have breakfast with.
>You spend the next few minutes bombarding him with questions about the mechanics and evolution of his foot, which he answers to the best of his ability before rather telling you, in a rather overly dramatic fashion, that you should ask him about it over breakfast.
>”That is, of course, unless you want to learn more by performing an autopsy.”
>Those were his exact words.
>Colts, even when they’re from another dimension.
>>
>>27441696
>You are the great bumper of heads on doorways, and you have gotten a crash course in ponyland.
>AKA: Equestria.
>You are Anon, and this is a fucking trip.
>You get a crash course in the different kinds of ponies, how not to be racist, why you can’t let people see that you’re wearing socks in public, the currency, the current political landscape, and the nature of their weather in the time it takes you to get from the book treepository to Sugarcube Corner.
>Seems to be not many folks about on the streets, but then again it doesn’t seem to be a very large town that you’re in.
>You get stares, and a few whispers, but they seem to be more out of curiosity than fear.
>”What an odd looking minotaur, so slender, and graceful.”
>>”Maybe they’re like, an endangered subgroup? Could explain why they’re out and about with Twilight.”
>The commentary typically followed a similar vein.
>Apparently, Twilight, your daughter, was a bit of a local celebrity.
>You feel a sudden surge of pride. You know that you haven’t done really anything to deserve it, but still.
>You marvel as you step inside what appears to be a massive gingerbread house.
>You are about to ask Twilight about her mother when you’re interrupted by a Pink bomb going off in your face.
>The explosion of fur, color, motion, and gasping goes off flying down the street before you can even begin to process what just happened.
“What was-”
>”Pinkie.”
>The way she says it in such a flat, dejected tone with a small sigh at the end both reminds you of yourself, and makes you fear for your future.
“Do I need to-”
>”Nope, don’t fight it, just let it happen. I know from experience, that just makes it worse.”
>That’s . . . pretty rapey sounding.
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>>27441701
>”Window booth?”
>Twilight gestures with a hoof toward a sizeable seating area by one of the windows looking out over the town square.
>A large fountain gurgles away as half a dozen ponies mill about, setting up various stalls and stands.
“Sure.”
>You manage to squeeze into a booth designed for someone much smaller than you, but it’s not terribly uncomfortable. A bit like sitting in a chair designed for a 4th grader, except with more padding.
“So, Twilight, could you tell me about your mother?”
>You inquire in a low tone, spoken softly, with hands folded neatly in front of you.
>The eatery is almost devoid of customers.
>There’s a tired looking mare at the counter nursing a mug of coffee, but you’d wager they’re more interested in getting a warm meal and getting to bed after a graveyard shift than your conversation.
>If that mare was uninterested, Twilight was downright opposed.
>You can tell by the way her eyes are almost bugging out of her head.
>”I . . . I would rather talk about this later. And . . . umm, could you maybe, keep it quiet as to the ehh . . . nature of our relation?”
>>
>>27441704
>”WHAT’S THIS I HEAR ABOUT RELATIONS?”
>You and Twilight both jump at the volume and proximity of the sound.
>”Hey there ‘Anonymous Stranger’-”
>The pink mare with a mane like cotton candy that just appeared out of thin air gives you a hearty wink.
>”-how do you know my good friend Twilight here?”
>She leans in close, her eyes half lidded in in a ‘come hither’ stare if you’ve ever seen one.
>”And how’d you like to know me?”
>She bites her lip, and you can feel her undressing you with her eyes.
>”In the biblical sense.”
>With each phrase she’s leaned in a little closer, and now she’s close enough that you can tell she smells like powdered sugar.
>You are a terrifying mixture of frightened, confused, aroused, and hungry.
>She’s suddenly enveloped in a field of purple magic.
>Frozen like a statue, Twilight gives her a gentle boop to the nose and she begins floating off into the air, like a very strange experiment aboard the international space station.
>You track her bubblegum pink form with a sick fascination as it gently floats up toward the ceiling, bouncing off with a quiet thump before lazily spinning into the back room.
>”Pinkie likes to meet new people. Sometimes she goes a bit overboard though.”
>You give her a concerned look.
>>
>>27441715
“Is she okay?”
>Twilight sits up, cocking her head to the side a bit.
>”The spell you mean? Oh, perfectly fine. She gets a kick out of it. Honestly, she bugs me until I cast it on her some days. Something about ‘I am a leaf on the wind”.
>”Alright, sorry about that Twilight, and Twilights friend. What can I get you two for breakfast?”
>The pink one has suddenly reappeared. No sound, no motion, simply . . . there.
>Jesus Christ. How horrifying.
>”A stack of pancakes with a side of hashbrowns for myself. Anon?”
>You look around for a menu to order off of, before realizing that everyone that eats here has eaten here for at least a decade.
“I’ll, umm, have what she’s having.”
>The Pink one nods before . . . bouncing away?
>Twilight does have some interesting friends.
“Hey, umm, how’d she get out of your, you know, spell?”
>Twilight shrugs.
>”I’ve been studying that mare for as long as I’ve known her. Best answer I can give? By being Pinkie.”
>You’re going to have to keep an eye on that one.
Alright, that's it for now. Not sure if this should get the feelz or the lulz treatment. There is a 30% chance it gets neither and instead gets the shit treatment, but if it goes to shit, I'll just turn it into gratuitous smut, so you'll have that going for you.
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>>27441732
fuck, I have a pastebin, it's somewhere and updated.

http://pastebin.com/4FTQmPf8
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>>27441732
I like those odds!
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>>27441732
Pinkie, please.
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>>27441732
Feels and lulz both sound nice and i wouldnt be adverse to gratuitous smut either but i digress great work overall and would love to see more
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>>27441732
>>27441741

I like what youve done so far, your discussion on clothing is particularly interesting and well thoughtout.
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>>27441741
It's good.
I don't really expect the not wearing shoes and socks thing to last, since shoes without socks chafe and going barefoot has loads of problems
>Step on a rock
>Dirty feet
>Less good at kicking
>Cold feet
>Get sore feet from lack of support
>Cold dirty feet if it rains
>Fall off if it snows

>>27442075
I thought for a moment that pinkie should know better than to proposition someone's dad in front of them
Then i remembered she hasn't been informed of the relationship
She only knows that there is one, and that she wants in on it, not that it's paternal.
>"WHEE! NOW WE BOTH HAVE TWO DADDIES!"
>>
>>27441732
What about lulz, feelz AND smut ?
>>
>>27441732
>Not sure if this should get the feelz or the lulz treatment.
I vote go for this. Smut will happen, oh yes it will happen, but not for now. For now it is time with daughteru.
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>>27441732
Happy feels.
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I've tried, but was too slow... as always (and I had to use a reference for second panel 'cause there are many different screaming ponies in our show)

http://i.imgur.com/HWwcz5G.jpg and photo version
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>>27442729
Sweet.
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>>27442729
Nice job.
>>
>>27441732
Feelz, then lulz. Smut here and there if possible.
>>
>>27442729
It's good. Anon's head structure seems a bit off, but drawing such a small shape on paper can be difficult. Maybe try how some artists are doing where they give Anon a completely round head?
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>>27442815
>choice between this or bowling ball Anon
Nah, it's fine
>>
>Want to write about fillies doing filly stuff
>Conferences keep coming up, leaving me too tired to do anything
Such is the life of me
>>
>>27441673
First things first
>past 3 AM
>05/23/16(Mon)03:21:36
Are you Canadian, by chance?
>>
>>27442815
It doesn't look good most of the times if only some parts stylized and simple (aside from Shoutingisfun, dat cute cartoonish style)
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>>27442729
Dats bretty good senpai
>>
>>27442729
But she's a unicorn in the story.
>>
>>27442916
Yeah, but only drawing some of the facial features give off an "uncanny valley" feel. Maybe just draw out an outline of the head and leave out details like ears, nose, etc.
>>
>>27442729
Love you, drawfriend.
>>
>>27442948
...really? Ooops, I honestly forgot that. But I can erase wings if you want
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>>27442964
Hmm, okay, just outline sounds better than round heads
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>>27442983
While I greatly prefer her without wings or princess status it's not a big issue.
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>>27443007
>"How can my dad possibly be this hot?"
>>
>>27442948
>Implying unicorns cant have wings
Nigger those fuckers have magic spells and stuff.
There has to be whole books worth of spells just to give them wings
"101 Wing-spells for any occasion"
"Fundamentals of Flying magic, pt 4: Wing-granting transformation magic"
"Magus Beacon Teaches Magic - Flight"
"Basic Aerodynamics for Foals - Unicorn Edition"
>>
>>27443035
They come up with spells as the plot needs it.
>>
>>27443035
Rarity had butterfly wings. And that bizzare idw comic where unicorns stole pegasus wings
>>
>>27443047
>Coming up with spells makes you have a better plot
>This is why the princesses have the best asses
>>
>>27442729
>http://i.imgur.com/HWwcz5G.jpg
This makes me happy
>>
>>27443035
Haven't you heard that a unicorn gifting her mate with a feather from her wing is akin to a horsemarriage proposal?
>>
To the drawfag: Really, thank you for contributing to this thread. It doesn't happen often that someone with the patience and talent to learn how to draw takes an interest in a particular story in a particular non-draw thread, so thank you. Bread/10.
>>
>>27443163
Aww, that's nothing, I'm still learning and this is the best possible practice in ponies and angles ('cause these threads are pretty fun and creative most of the times, I even tried to write green thanks to you all). Just wish I had more time to practice in drawing
>>
>>27443155
>Anon does not like using quills
>He much prefers a real ballpoint pen
>Unfortunately his are all either out of ink and sent off for researcher ponies to replicate, or also sent off to be replicated
>So he's stuck with them
>He gets annoyed when using them and often breaks them by mistake
>Fortunately there are plenty of ponies with feathers on them
>He just plucks a feather from their wing and uses is
>It works as a quill because equestria works like that, trivial things like carving tips are for losers in other universes
>The ponies understand Anon only wants to get his paperwork done, but they still get all hot and bothered whenever he picks them.
>A few ponies went to the trouble to tell him about the connotations of the feathers, but he just ignores that as a minor triviality.
>Paperwork needs doing, no fucking busybody pony is going to keep him from getting stationary
>If a pony doesn't want them taking theirs, they can tell him themself
>It's not like it's his fucking fault they'll get laughed out of town
>Now get the fuck out of his face, he's got forms to fill in

>>27443349
>Do you think Octavia uses her own hair to string her bows?
>>
>>27443349
>tfw it's my birthday today and I'm spending it browsing an imageboard
>tfw I'm wearing a party hat and shades so it seems less pathetic in my eyes
>tfw I'm in a mood just like Octavia in the pic
And I'll never manage to write a decent green due to my lack of self confidence and skill in writing. Just end me.
>>
>>27443395
Nah man, just gotta give it a try. Like any skill, it take practice to get good at it. Don't be afraid and just post what you want to post. Just have to remember to have a thick skin as some will attack/shitpost against you. This is 4chan after all.
>>
>Pone is giving you shit
>Pick her up and watch her flail because she's so small
>Hold her out in front of yourself and watch her struggle around all embarrassed like, maybe squeeze her sides a little too.
>That'd teach her.
>She start pouting with her forearms crossed and her tail drooping.
>Wonder if it would make her feel better if you tickled her belly and rubbed her ears.
>She ends up with a dopey grin on her face, although she remembers she's supposed to be mad and return to pouting....although that tail is slowing trying to touch you every few flicks
>>
>>27443419
I've posted green before, but not in RGRE. I absolutely hated it, looking back. It didn't seem obvious to the Anons that read it, but I could pick it apart and point out where it absolutely sucked. I didn't pace myself correctly. I didn't put enough emphasis on detail. I didn't have a clear direction of where I wanted to take the story.

Eventually I just deleted the pastebin and it's probably lost in Internet time. I have the text file sitting in my Recycle Bin. I'm tempted to delete the demon that I call my stupid attempt at writefagging for a general.
>>
>>27443476
Sometimes you're your own biggest critic. I've written only one green story and I really felt it was awful after I posted it and looked at it, but no one said anything so it was probably that forgettable.
>>
>>27443377
>>Do you think Octavia uses her own hair to string her bows?
Dammit, why have I never thought of this? She probably saves tons of money in the long run. I'll bet she even exports to the Minotaur lands for a little bit of gold on the side.
>>
>>27442384
Oh fuck, I forgot he took his shoes off.
I mean, it's rather apparent he did, but he was going to have them on in the restaurant. I will fix this in the pastebin.

I'm working on another story with another writer, and I kinda got distracted with that. It'll wind up in this thread eventually though. To be fair though, that thing is full homo

>>27442436
You drive a hard bargain mister.

>>27442466
I like your opinion, and your dubs.

>>27442729
BRUH
Nice fuckin work m80, I'm super stoked you drew a thing from the thing I wrote.

>>27443200
What's up with the perspective on Twi in the last panel? It seems that her rear is pointed towards us when you look at her butt, and away from us when you look at her hind legs. Fuckload better than I can draw, mind you, just trying to be constructive

>>27442891
Sorry friend, not from Canada.
I've dated more than one girl that sounds exactly like Applejack. Might narrow it down a bit.
>>
>>27443536
I'll try writing green and if I get good enough feedback, I'll return to writefagging. I don't really have an idea to write about.

I've been thinking of a comfy short story though where Fluttershy serenades Anon daily to impress Anon. Anon initially thinks of this as a nuisance but eventually relents and gets taken out to a date with Flutters. Problem is that I don't know how to write comfy, so I guess that's a problem there.
>>
>>27443588
That's probably because of her cutie mark and tail, my bad (though redraw her right hind leg closer to the left one will be much easier)
>>
>"Could you explain the mechanics of this movement again?"
"Twilight."
>"I know that I have to bend my knees but at what degrees do I have to bend them?"
"Twilight."
>"And is there a optimum amount of air that I need to breath in for each rep? Or maybe there's a certain technique to the breathing that will help me with the exercise?"
>You scratched your chin as you looked down at Twiggles
>...
>She was trying
>No matter what she was trying, Anon, and that was the first step
>The purple princess smiled up at you with the innocence of a new born babe
> You could SMELL the normie on her
"Twilight... You know that you're just stretching right?" you carefully asked. "We're just doing this so you can get warmed up."
>"Oh, I KNOW," Twiggles said with a giggle, waving a hoof. "But there has to be a way that I can do these stretches in the best way right? I mean I've only read a little bit on the subject but what I've found--"
>You looked away from the Princess of Friendship toward the dumbbell rack
>Rainbow and Applejack were standing in front of the mirror, wildly flailing the heaviest weights that they could get their grubby little hooves on as they eyed each other like the closet lesbians that they were
>...
>They were going to pull something
>They were going to pull something and someone was going to have to get an ice pack or possibly take a trip to the doctors...
>You looked away from those two dummies to where you had some treadmills sitting
>There was Mrs. Rarity on one of your machines
>The fashionista had her treadmill on the lowest setting, trying to chat with a few of the stallions standing around the power racks that she was near
>More like flirting that talking, but, to your pride, the stallion's completely ignored her
>"--And, though Clean and Snatch's hypothesis might not be as tested as I would like, it seems to have some real--"
>Your nose scrunched up as you looked back down at Twilight for a half-second
>She was still talking?
>>
>>27443664
>...Jesus Christ...
>Shaking your head, you looked over toward where you kept the weight balls and other, larger gym equipment
>Somehow, in the minute and a half since you looked at her, Pinkie had managed to make this... contraption out of medicine balls, logs, and two barbells
>You had no idea what the hell it was for but you didn't like that look in Pinkie's eyes...
>You didn't like it one little bit
>And from the looks of the other gym patrons they didn't like it all that much either
"Pinkie! Put that shit back where you found it!" you yelled from across the gym
>"Aw! But I was going to start the fire!"
"I'm going to light a fire under your ass if you screw up my gym equipment you little horse!"
>Almost everyone in the gym sighed in relief as Pinkie, with a disappointed groan, began to deconstruct the monstrosity that she had created
>...
>"--I know that Sheepish monks of the Highlands like to use the Bahamian method to relax the joints but--"
"Twilight, fuck up for a goddamn minute," you finally snapped, your nose scrunching up when you couldn't find the last pain in your ass that you had unwillingly let loose amongst your people
>Where the hell was Flutter--
>Oh, there she was
>Flutter-butter was laying on a mat near one of the only windows that you had in this big ass room
>The pegasus looked like she was attempting push ups, her widdle nose scrunched up in concentration as she tried to pick herself back up with both her hooves and her wings
>She wasn't really getting anywhere, more wiggling than anything else, but like Twilight she was trying
>Trying her little heart out
>You awed quietly
>Don't give up lil' Flutters...
>Someday you'll make it...
>You scratched your chin as you looked back down at Twilight, the only one who had decided to stretch with you
>To be fair neither of you had gotten all that much stretching done, what with Twilight and all of her fucking questions, but fuck it
>Time to throw this little horse to the lions
>The iron lions
>>
>>27443689
"Alright, Twiggles, I think we got enough stretching done. Why don't you go and get the rest of your little buddies so we can start these lessons?"
>Twilight blinked
>"...But Anon, you still haven't answered any of my questi--thmp!"
"Go and get your friends before I pop a blood vessel, Spackle," you said, keeping your hand firmly clamped around her muzzle. "PLEASE."
>Jesus Zyzz Christ...

"Urgh!"
>Be Time Turner
>"HAH! One, two, thre. Breath, breath, breath. HAH! Push it! PUSH IT!"
>You were spending your Thursday morning participating in your third favorite activity: that being lifting heavy objects, usually of the metallic variety
"Hah! Big as a bear! BIG AS A BEAR! HAH!"
>At that moment you were on one of the many deadlifting platforms playing the most dangerous game of all
>The deadlifting game
"Hah! Get it up! GET. It. Up. COLT!"
>A puff of chalk hit you square in the face as you slammed a chalky hoof against your chest
>There was a thin sheen of sweat coating your body as you stood over what was soon going to be your new max
>You were also breathing pretty heavily, your eyes bugged out and your expression crazed
>Ever since you had woken up this morning you had been getting ready for this lift
>You had yourself a VERY hearty breakfast, you took a FAR more preworkout than the equine body could properly handle, and your bedazzled lifting belt looked REALLY good in this lighting
>You were ready
>...
>You were ready, and for some reason you could see EVERYTHING
> Dat preworkout tho'
>Growling to yourself, you got into position, gripping onto the bar as hard as you could
"Come on! COMEON! Comeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeon!"
>You jerked the bar, causing it to bend slightly as the weight resisted you
>Yeah...
>YEAH!
>This was just what you needed after a whole week of getting bugged by your mares about not making them breakfast in the morning anymore!
"Come one! Shark week! Red balloon! Alfalfa! Stingray!"
>>
>>27443699
>What? Couldn't they make breakfast themselves?!
>You already made them lunch and dinner-- and did a FINE job of it thank you very much-- and didn't get so much as a thank you from ANY of them!
>You grunted again, a snarl on your face as you jerked at the bar
>Couldn't you just have a little time to yourself in the morning?
>Couldn't your mares get off their lazy flanks every once in a while and cook for themselves?
>You've seen them cook before; you KNOW that they can do it
>So was it too much to ask if they just made their OWN breakfast?
>Was that REALLY too much to ask?
>Was it?
>WAS IT?!
>[angry swole stallion noises]
>You took a deep breath, your dilated eyes staring at the small orange goblin from across the room, and you tighten up your body
> Thepre'sgotmejohnny.jpg
"HHHHAAAAAAAAA--"
>"Howdy, Turner!"
>Your roar of triumph turns into a yelp of surprise as somepony up and slaps you on the back
>The bar, which you had been griping so tightly how were you even doing that? You didn't even have hooves yo... slipped out of your hooves
>Your weight SLAMMED against the platform as you stumbled backward
>...
>The moment was gone
>YOU WERE ABOUT TO MAX OUT AND NOW THE MOMENT WAS GONE!
>THERE WAS NO BUCKING WAY THAT YOU WERE GOING TO BE ABLE TO GET IT UP NOW!"
>Gritting your teeth, you spun around to see who would be STUPID enough to interrupt somepony while they were in the middle of a lift; a lift that was VERY dangerous if not fully focused on it
>"Whoo howdy! That sure it a lotta weight! Are ya sure ya can pick something like that up?!"
>Your anger diminishes somewhat as you stare at the smiling, oblivious face of Applejack
"...Applejack?" you muttered, your nose scrunching up
>Applejack smiled that country smile of her's that her and her whole family were so, so good at
>>
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>>27443699(checked)
HE"S BACK!
>>
>>27443724
>A smile that, even now, brought a bit of a smile to your face
>Not much of one, the bucking filly just RUINED your lift, but it was still there
>"Ah just wanted ta come 'ver and say hello since I saw ya over here, Turner," Applejack said, nudging you. "Big Mac also wanted me ta tell ya that he'd be more 'an happy ta go ta that wine thingy in Manehattan with ya, so I figured I'd mosey on over an' tell ya!"
>...
>Awesome!
>That meant--
>...Wait a minute...
>This filly darn near killed you over that?!
>Mac could have told you that himself later today!
>She didn't need to risk your SPINE over that!
>But
>BUT...
>You knew Applejack
>While she was a looker she didn't have all that much going on in the cute little noggin of her's
>She probably didn't even realize what she did to you, the country bumpkin that she was...
>100% mad reduced to 50% mad
"Well, that's great, Applejack, but--"
>"Hey, Turner! Watch this!"
>You turned your head to look back at your weight
>There, straining with all of her might to pick up the weight, was Rainbow Dash
>"Yeah... I'm gonna... lift this weight... so bucking... good!"
>A noise escaped Rainbow's throat that sounded almost like a pained whine, her wings desperately flapping
>She...
>She...
>She was going to REALLY hurt herself...
>You took a step back, concern coming to your face when you noticed how curled the pegasi's back was
>...
>Okay...
>>
>>27443476
The biggest thing in writing is that you have to write for you. Anything that you choose to share with others is another story, and with that you'll have to endure apathy, criticism or acceptance. So in the latter case, all you can do is just post it and not give a fuck. Still, I hope you'll give it a shot here and post what you've written.
>>
>>27443744
>First Applejack appears and now Rainbow?
>You don't remember seeing these fillies ever coming to this gym before...
"Um... Rainbow? Maybe you should take some of the weights off to warm up before you start lifting that much weight? You know, so you don't hurt yourself?"
>Seeing that she wasn't able to pick up the weight, Rainbow then tried her hoof at pushing the weight
>While the plates that you had on your bar were ROUND she seemed to be doing a VERY poor job of it
>Pegasi be light yo
>"Nah... I got... I bucking got... this," Rainbow grunted, pushing with all of her might. "I got this SO... bucking much..."
>...
>You stood there for a moment as a certain feeling began to overcome you
>You've never felt this feeling before, but, for some reason, it felt so so right
>Your ears perked up as you heard a whisper of a sound
>Something that only a chosen few could hear
reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....
> "Normies," you muttered, a feeling of utter and overpowering disgust filling you to the brim "Get out of my bucking gym.... REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
>And that's when the screaming began
>>
>>27443761
Alright, I'm done. Sorry these updates have been so short, I've been getting weird hours at work and I've have trouble finding time to write anything at all
>>
>>27443476
Then the story was a complete success. Look at your observations: You didn't pace yourself correctly; not enough emphasis on detail; no clear direction. You wrote something you thought was good, you reviewed it, and identified the mistakes and errors you made. If you were to try writing again, you would be aware of the pitfalls you'd encountered before. It'll be better. People don't magically get good at writing, Anon. Like everything else, it takes time and practice to git gud. Feeling bad that you won't be as good as natural-born writers is like deciding never to play an instrument because of those one-in-a-million people who can play the violin by the time they're 3 years old.
>>
>>27443588
>>sounds exactly like Applejack
North Dakota.
>>
>>27443768
I can't help but think that most barbell exercise would leave a stallion very "exposed", sheath or not.

I was expecting one the mare to "discretely" glance at those doing bench press.
>>
>>27443395
happy birthday anon
>>
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>>27443761
Is it normal to get pissed off and have a hard on reading this?
>>
>>27444058
yes it is.
>>
>>27444058
You're a Jojo fan so no.
>>
>>27441732
YES
i love this story
>>
>>27444219
Same. I look forward to it the way I look forward to Shuk's Venus Adventures story.
>>
>>27443761
>> "Normies," you muttered, a feeling of utter and overpowering disgust filling you to the brim "Get out of my bucking gym.... REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Fucking kekd
>>
>>27443761
>As a collective group, all the stallions descend and kick the shit out of the mares.
>The collective 'REEing' is so loud and shrill that in literally bursts the eardrums of the two pones they attack.
>The beta-pone uprising had begun.
>>
>>
>>27444399

No, it would be a beta pone uprising if it was MARES going crazy instead of the stallions.

Specifically the nerdy, doormat mares like Fluttershy, Marble Pie, Coco Pommel, or Moondancer.
>>
>>27444581
Technically it would be more like those feminist rallies nowadays. Womyn shrieking so loud with their high-pitched, entitled, bitchy voices it physically hurts to here.
>>
>>27444596

Wouldn't the stallions be more likely to do that in RGRE?
>>
>>27443476
>It didn't seem obvious to the Anons that read it
By this, do you mean that most readers seemed to enjoy it? Because the worst thing a writefag can do is nuke a pastebin. Trying to find a story you read and enjoyed once, only for it to be gone later, sucks pretty hard.

Even as a tripfag, you're fairly anonymous around here. If the story was too cringey, you should just leave the pastebin, abandon your name for another, and learn from the experience.
>>
>>27444642
Yes, they are. The stallions are REEing.
RGR: Women would be REEing.
>>
>>27443476
Van Gogh didn't fucking draw masterpieces the day he came out of the pussy, and none of the writefags here wrote good greens here on their first try. Keep going. Most of us here only have an issue with grammar, anyways.
>>
>>27444864
WRYY can apply to any gender. Stop WRYYshaming.
>>
>Anon is tired of misunderstandings and differences in showing affection between humans and ponies
>e.g. (put a waifu_name here) trying to eat flowers which he gives to her, while he cannot understand the purpose of chest tufts and why is his pony embarrased of public cuddles
>He tried to talk with her about every aspects and differences in the human and ponies culture, from courting to a standard relationships, as well as husband and wife responsibilities
>Forgot about rgre and thus did not specify roles in human relationships
>Mare now is trying for him to be the best husband for him. The most cliche and sitcomish husband ever, trying too hard to fit that role
>Anon frustrated and at the same time impressed by the among of efforts she puts into that
>For fun and to not disappoint marshmallow pone he is playing along
>Friends and neighbors find that situation odd even by pony standarts, but still happy for them
>Sometimes even behaving like "studio audience", laughing or d'aww'ing simultaneously

Because i wanna see some "rgre enough" family and slice of live...
>>
>>27444980
God, please no. If this prompt actually happened I would puke.
>>
>>27444980
>A prompt this long
Seems like you got this better than whatever writefag that's gonna make it. Why don't you?
>>
>>27445006
Not enough knowledge of English to make that silly idea decent, sadly. Even if it doesn't look like that at the first glance
>>
>>27445060
I'm a native English speaker, and you have less grammatical errors in that entire thing then I do in two sentence responses.
>>
>Anon has no fur (bare skin showing off muscles)
>Anon wears clothes all the time (reserved for special occasions or intimate moments)
>Anon is unnaturally affectionate with ponies (public belly rubs and cuddles)
>Anon has pointed teeth and eats meat (griffons eat meat, but they have beaks)
>Anon was found in the Everfree (the only other meat-eating creatures there that aren't tamed are dangerous and unnatural)
>Ponies conclude that Anon is an incubus sent to Equestria from Tartarus to seduce mares and steal souls
>Some mares are surprisingly okay with that
>>
>>27444980
"Rarity, does our lawn mower really need a magical racecar engine?"
>"Why, of course, dear. This little beast could clear a hoofball field in three seconds flat, and look just fabulous while doing so. Ohu huu huu huu!"
>>
>>27445262
Oh goodness YES

RGRE is now basically "men are women; women are also women, but they're SMUG women". I can't remember the last time I saw a mare acting like a dad on TV. I'll suck your dick no homo if you write dad-mares!RGRE.
>>
>>27445300
Where do you live? I'm willing to give you five paragraphs for two dick-suckings.
>>
>>27445321
Too far away. I'll write erotic dick-sucking green if you write dad-mare stories.
>>
>>27445321
This seems like a raw deal. One dick sucking is worth more than 2.5 paragraphs. I would argue for 6 or 8 paragraphs for the two suckings, depending on the quality of blowjob.
>>
>>27445779
What's the average cost of a blowjob? If it's more than ten dollars, then I expect an hour's worth of solid writing per sack-emptying.
>>
>page 7
I won't let this thread die with the last post being some asshole asking about the price of bjs
>>
>>27446337
>Thinking a thread will die just by getting to page 7.
What do you think this place is, some kind of fast board like /b/ or /pol/? We're alright until around page 9.
>>
>>27446382
>"Who do you think we are; popular?"
I'm never going to be one of the cool kids, am I?
>>
>>27440375
bump
>>
>>27446337
RGRE has been going on for 100+ threads and there all linked.

We are Immortal.
>>
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>"I'll get big. I'll get strong. I'll never be a victim again."
>>
Fuck it. I've taken 2 bottles for my birthday and I'm gonna try cranking some short oneshot and see if my second ever attempt at stupid writefagging is any better. I'll be writing this as I post so I hope you don't mind the gap between posts.

>You wake up to another calm day and the sweet smell of fresh flowers drifting in through the window.
>The blinding light finds its way through the curtains and into the room, revealing specks of dust floating around.
>The bird song sweetly serenades you to rise from your bed and get ready for the day.
>Except one singer wasn't quite a bird.
>You are Anonymous in Reversed Gender Roles Equestria.
>And this little pegasus by the name of Fluttershy has been by your side, serenading you at every chance that she's got.
>You look out your window and spy Fluttershy looking up at you with expectant eyes.
>She's flanked by numerous birds of different shapes and sizes, obviously talked into helping Fluttershy sing a song.
>"Oh Anon, did you like this song? I even brought my friends to help me sing for you. So, what do you say, Anon? Would you go out on a date with me?"
>You exhale through your nose and stare at the little birdpon.
>She tries and tries to garner your attention to accept a proposal to try one date.
>Where other mares gave up, you were surprised to find her coming back with another way to impress you.
>You gotta admire the determination she has to take you out on a date.
>And you can't say it didn't help her build her confidence just enough.
>You chuckle to yourself.
"Tell me, Flutters. If I go out with you on a date, would you stop trying to impress me?"
>"Oh, um, w-well if you enjoy the first date, we could have a second one, b-but only if you do enjoy the first one."
>Screw it, it would help you get some peace and quiet.
>The pegasus looks at you with expectant eyes once more.
"Sure, Shy. I'll try one date."
>>
>>27447348
I've changed my mind and decided that the short oneshot would just end there. Bully me pls, I don't really feel anything anymore.
>>
>>27447260
>Bulk Biceps is confronted by a group of mares after a long day at the gym
>Facing flashbacks, he turns around and tries to fly away.
>Much like the FIRST time he was accosted by a group of aggressive mares, his wings were too small to allow him to fly.
>He panics and can't do much (other than to cry) to fight against the unicorn mares when they hold him down and spread his legs.
>Bad end.
>>
>>27447407
It's cool. I enjoyed it while it lasted.
>>
>>27447414
>Luckily for him, he's outside Anon's gym
>Anon hears his favorite customer screaming
>Grabs a dumbbell and bashes one mare's skull in
>The others scatter
>Anon brings him inside for a protein shake and hot, sweaty gay sex
>>
>>27447495
Bashes her clit so hard it swells into a dick and balls, erasing her cunt and teats at the same time. Because magic.
>>
>>27447610
masculanisation? i like it.
>>
>>27447610
And then every genderbender anime trope happened.
>>
>>27447610
>clit crushed between dumbbells
>>
http://pastebin.com/DCpkuwED

Because I felt like it, and alcohol.

>You and Big Mac would look back at those next few days at Sweet Apple Acres as some of the best of your lives.
>It was more than just the thrill of sex that made it special, though admittedly there was a lot of that.
>And it was admittedly pretty incredible once you located her cache of "Mare's Mare" magazine back issues and chucked them in the fireplace.
>The ones with the muscular mares on the cover who were simultaneously building a fire, chopping wood, and rescuing their colt from a raging gorilla.
>Seriously, who came up with that advice column? "To REALLY get your colt going, use your teeth to flick his sensitive fringulum."
>Not even gonna start on that shit.
>For you, it was about really discovering who Mac was underneath that layer of perpetual silence he had worn for so long.
>Back when "she" really was a "he" to you.
>For her, it was really much the same.
>She had no idea who she was.
>As far as you can tell, she really did internalize her facade as a colt.
>Needless to say, she's been trying VERY hard to make up for lost time. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is soft and spongy!
>This brings you up to today.
>It's the end of heat week, and apart from a few brave (or foolish) mares wandering onto the farm to find the illusive Apple-colt you two have been relatively isolated.
>Not that either of you minds.
>You found an old hammock in the closet sometime earlier in the week, and the two of you have been snoozing in it for the past hour or so.
>She insisted on being the 'saddle.' You could tell it was a pride thing, having her hooves wrapped around her mate protectively.
>Unfortunately tiny horse is tiny and she's basically just latched herself onto your upper half, which made it really difficult to get into the hammock and positioned properly.
>Still, we suffer for those we love.
>And she wasted no time in telling you that she loved you.
>>
>>27448018
>You feel a familiar moist feeling on the top of your scalp. Mac's drooling again.
>She likes to bury her face in your hair whenever you sleep together for some reason. Maybe it's some kinda dominance thingy, being the partner whose sleeping position is "above" the other one.
>Idly you shift beneath her hooves, turning around to face her.
>She squirms a bit, grasping anxiously in her sleep for you before you manage to pull her into a mutual embrace.
>A shared smile passes between the two of you, and she pecks you lightly on the lips.
>Yawning, you catch a glimpse of your wrist watch.
>Roughly 1-ish.
>Come to think of it...
"Hey Mac?" You ask, prodding her gently.
>She yawns, and nuzzles into your neck.
>"Mhmm." She replies.
"Applejack and the rest are gone just for heat week, right?"
>She shifts a little bit, and opens her eyes to look at you.
>Straight expression, giving away nothing. Just like Mac.
>"Eeyup."
>Looking over your shoulder, you peer out towards the farm house.
"We uh...we had sex on a LOT of places in there..." You can see her smirking out the corner of your eye, "and no offense, but the place stinks up to high heaven."
>You can see her expression sink, her brow furrowing and face turning to a slight frown.
"Plus there was that bit where you got a little too excited when we were roleplaying 'Daring Doo in Darkest Zebrica,' when you tried to 'mark me with your--'"
>Mac groans loudly and covers her face with both hooves, her ears folded squarely onto her head.
>"Please...don't..."
>You feel your cheeks heat up and see the same from her, turning yourself away in embarrassment.
"Y-yeah, we were gonna forget that one..."
>An awkward silence lingers between the two of you before she manages to speak.
>Your hand finds itself idly scratching her head, and she gradually leans into it.
>"Can't."
>You turn back towards her, head cocked.
"Can't...?"
>"Can't..." She says, sitting up. "Too sunk in."
>...
>>
>>27448047
>You'd been out draining ye olde cider press, and she'd caught a glimpse of your 'drain.'
>Never before, and never again, will you see Mac that angry.
>Looking over towards the horizon, you can see smoke from Ponyville's chimneys rising up in the distance.
>They can't still all be out of whack, can they?
>Heat weeks practically over by this point. Either they've gotten it out of their systems, or they've gotten something IN their systems.
>Sitting up, you wrap your arms around Mac's withers, your feet touching the ground.
"Gotta have that first date thingy eventually, right?"
>That gets a smile out of her.

Set up for further Shenanigans. Hope people still remember this story...
>>
>>27448082
DISREGARD! DISREGARD INCOMPLETE

>...
"I'm willing to bet they make cleaning products SPECIFICALLY for heat smell, don't they?"
>Mac nods apprehensively.
>"None on the farm."
>You were about to speak up, but Mac preempts you.
>"Ah'm not leavin' ya here alone on the farm. Not after last time."
>That's probably the most syllables you've head out of Mac this entire conversation.
>Two days ago a VERY erratic and frazzled looking Carrot Top had wandered onto the farm.
>You'd been out draining ye olde cider press, and she'd caught a glimpse of your 'drain.'
>Never before, and never again, will you see Mac that angry.
>Looking over towards the horizon, you can see smoke from Ponyville's chimneys rising up in the distance.
>They can't still all be out of whack, can they?
>Heat weeks practically over by this point. Either they've gotten it out of their systems, or they've gotten something IN their systems.
>Sitting up, you wrap your arms around Mac's withers, your feet touching the ground.
"Gotta have that first date thingy eventually, right?"
>That gets a smile out of her.
>>
>>27448089
The time of the Apples return draws near.
How many Tacos can Anon punt?
Can Anon bring himself to punt Granny Smith?
Find out next time snippet updates this story.
>>
>>27447495
>He was no mare when he stepped into the temple of the Swole Father, nor was he entirely a stallion.
>Not since he had had his masculine virtue stolen out from underneath him.
>It had been that theft of his precious virginal stem that ended his arranged herd, before even the vows and dowries had been exchanged.
>He knew he was damaged goods from the beginning.
>No colt with small, fragile, and worthless wings could expect to sire strong foals, could he?
>And that's all he'd ever been, a blank sire with no cutie mark to his unusual name.
>Alone, he had stumbled upon the Church of Iron.
>Where Anon had found a lump of clay, there was soon to be something much more than mare or stallion.
>A man, the likes of which Swolefather Zeus could look upon with, and know that his creations had done right by the gods' mighty creed of lifting.
>Where Bulk Biceps had found a friend, a confidant, and a protective gaze amidst a great litany of grunts and howls, Anon found a true bro, lifting buddy, and super submissive partner who needed to be 'the mare' at all times because of considerable amounts of trauma that played perfectly into his befuzzled human gender roles.
>>
>>27448089
Pretty fucking sick, bro. I'm supes happy to see you back with fem-mac
>>
>>27447407
it doesn't matter, but I hope you feel better.
>>
>>27448603
>>27447451
>2 replies
I'll try harder next time senpais. Maybe when I try writing while drunk again.
>>
Reminder than little ponies are the best cuddlers and that there's nothing more satisfying to a pony that a good petting and scratching, and a preening if they are a pegasus/alicorn.
>>
>>27448089
AND WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN
>>
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>>27448910
I want to cuddle and preen my little pegasus mare.
>>
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>>27443761
I wonder why no stallion has been booted to the curb for such a drastic change.
How long will mares be fine with their stallion turned cowfaggot?
>"I can't do this anymore Carrot."
Oh here we go.
>You are Carrot Cake
>FUARKED Disciple of the Church of Iron.
>"No, I was fine with you working out, I was even fine with you having some extra confidence, you were happy and I loved that you were."
>"But now this alien colt cult-"
The Church of Iron is just a name, we aren't act-
>"Is having an effect on our children."
How, Pound just started he isn't even doing dead lifts yet?
>"Our son is picking fights at school."
There is nothing wrong with our son knowing how to defend himself!
>"Our SON is PICKING FIGHTS at SCHOOL!"
He is defending himself against bullies!
>"HE IS THE BULLY CARROT!"
>Your wife sighs and calms herself.
>"Its been 5 years since you've joined that gym, and I don't recognize ANY of us anymore."
>"Pumpkin used to be a boistrous filly and now she makes Fluttershy look like a manticore."
>"Pound used to giggle about what fillies were trying to win his heart, now he beats on filly and colt alike."
Cup, calm down, they're just growing up. You remember being at that age, right?
>You wrap your mare up in a hug, giving her a squeeze.
>This always calms Cup down when she gets like this.
>Probably just excess energy.
>Mombod as fuck.
>"I used to be a mare."
You're still the mare I love, that hasn't changed.
>"I used to handle the counter, now I'm in the kitchen, I used to handle the taxes now I'm buying groceries, I used to negotiate expansions and now I'm pushed aside while my HUSBAND pounds his chest and 'takes care of it'!"
>"I USED TO BE A MARE DAMMIT!"
>Hugging isn't working, move to plan B.
>...
>THERE IS NO PLAN B
>HUGGING IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE FAILSAFE!
>>
>>27449042
Rainbow Dash has a pretty fat butt for a pegasus, specially considering how fast she is.

Is a pony's magical power stored in their butts?
Makes sense, considering their cutie marks are in there.
>>
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>>27449288
OH WAIT.

THAT'S WHY MAGIC STOPPED WORKING IN AMOEBAS' STORY WHEN ANON SLAPPED TWILIGHT'S BUTT.

HOW COULD I NOT SEE IT UNTIL NOW.
>>
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>>27449282
>"When I decided to marry you and be monogamous with you because of your farming roots, I was fine with it."
>This is for real isn't it.
>"I was fine because I was marrying the most wonderful stallion in the world, who would help nurture our foals, and be my partner in everything."
>This isn't just some brushoff lecture.
>"I was gaining an equal without equal, so being monogamous was such a small price it was laughable."
>She isn't just going to go to bed angry this time.
>"I didn't sign up to marry a mare, especially a mare who thought herself my better, and damn sure not a mare who was ok with our foals being violent. Son or daughter."
>This isn't going to be fixed with a minute in the sack is it?
>"I don't want to end everything, but I have to leave. Tell the children I'm scouting bakery locations."
Cup, please.
>"I love you Carrot Cake, but you just aren't the stallion I married anymore."
>She is actually going, the love of your life the herd mare who went mono just for you.
>"I'll be in Philly with my sister, send Top if you need anything. I want to be able to fix this, Carrot."
>And just like that your Cup of Elysium is gone.
>Just because you lifted.
>Well buck her.
>You don't need her.
>You're strong now.
>Stronger than you've ever been.
>You could lift the oven with one foreleg, you're so strong.
>You're so strong that it feels like there is actually someone else there, as you hug yourself and cry.

Hey its Popped, I didn't bail my motherboard just shorted out. Fucking Asus. I'll have new shit as soon as it gets out of the shop, holding on to hope that my HDD can be saved.
>>
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>>27449420
Please no, anyone but the Cakes
Don't do this to me
>>
>>27449317
No shit.
-DA
>>
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>>27449420
>Asus
>Not Lenovo Thinkpad
>>
>>27449420
Good end. Carrot acts like he's never had a breakup with a needy bitch before.
>>
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>>27449420
No, fuck you.

>After crying yourself to sleep you head out as soon as you wake up.
>You tell Anon what happened, still sobbing your eyes out.
>He just looks you over and smiles.
>"I'll help you out, bro."
>He introduces you to a mare who doesn't care that you lift.
>You, Anon, and her work out your problems with Pound bullying other foals.
>You love your wife.
>She won't blame you for her children growing up.
>Nor will she abandon you because of your lifestyle.
>You feel happy.

Meanwhile:

>You are Cup Cake.
>Pinkie stopped throwing you parties.
>You never found love again.
>You died alone.
>In your final moments you regretted leaving your husband and children.
>Your final moments were spent just staring.
>Staring at a picture of him, his new mare, and THEIR children, including Pound and Pumpkin.
>They found happiness.
>You just wish you didn't throw away yours.
>The End.
>>
>>27449743
Sad.
>>
>>27449743
>Oh yeah and you die after eating a five-layer chocolate cake like the fat fucking dyel you are
>The end.
>>
>>27449847
Even more sad.
>>
>>27449539
Oh, how I wish I could scratch that princessly scalp, rub the royal bottom and
C U D D L E.
>>
>>27450106
Chop her bottom off.
>>
>>27450106
your debased fetishes disgust me Anon.
>>
>>27448221
Moore.
>>
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>>27449743
>>27449847
Oh yeah! Fuck you!

>The mare only wanted you for your successful business.
>Catching you on the rebound when you were most vulnerable.
>She didn't blame you for your children growing up weird because she didn't care about them.
>Your kids were made fun of throughout their entire childhood.
>Pumpkin drew ever inward, and has moved back to the family farm, where Carrot Top tries to undo the damage you unintentionally did.
>Pound continued to lash out with the power of his gains until he ended up on the wrong side of the ponice.
>He only has 3 years left on his sentence.
>Chocolate Cake and Creme Cake are doing well
>Both earth ponies!
>Weird how they have a faded stripe pattern.
>But Cheese Cake swears that she has zebras on her father's side of the family.
>That makes sense.
>Right?

Meanwhile:
>You are Pinkie Pie
>Your life is miserable
>Carrot Cake let his lifting run his life until it took away everything he used to love.
>He still lifts.
>You still bake
>You don't throw parties for Cup because you don't throw any parties anymore.
>You wish Anon didn't turn all of the stallions into cowfaggot mares.
>More and more divorces were happening.
>No more anniversaries.
>Birthdays being thrown by competing parents hoping for a little more of their child's love.
>Ponyville hasn't broken out into song in years.
>You still like Anon.
>He is a good friend.
>You just wish he didn't go full Zyzz
>Whoever that is.

Bonus:
>You are Cup Cake.
>And you're not dead.
>Yay!
>But after the heart attack you became serious about your health.
>You lifted just like your husb- ex-husband does.
>Only you didn't let it turn you into a total minotaur.
>You live a long
>Only it wasn't happy because Carrot never cared about you.
>You just wanted to cool off some because of how much everything had changed.
>He moved on to another mare the day after you left
>You lost the love of your life
>Who never loved you

There is no happiness to be found here!
Only crushing despair!
>>
>>27449743
Except no straight mare wants to be with any of them because they're not dykes.
>>
>>27450696
Honestly, I'm kinda expecting one of the real princesses to just have that gym put to the torch when they find out about this nonsense.
>>
>>27450839
> Anon's stallions are ready to fight for their gym
> Celestia was the greatest lifter of Equestria when younger
> RGRE version of this fight happen : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byOw4AYd7-8
>>
>>27443768
The whole through, I'm imagining the SIR comics...
>>
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>>27451225
Moar
>>
>Wake up
>Get breakfast
>Go online
>Check RGRE
>"Fuck you! Everyone died alone, miserable, cucked, or some combination there-of!"
>Decide to go back to sleep
This isn't worth waking up to, Anons.
>>
>>27451312
I know. What the fuck.
>>
>>27451312
>Be Anon in Equestria.
>All the ponies are various kinds of undead.
>Apparently there was another human here before and he accidentally caused a tantrum spiral or something.
>But because death a shit, they didn't stay dead.
>They're undead instead.
>This has some consequences though.
>Since Celestia is now a vampire, she's stopped bringing the sun out for the daytime.
>Now she puts it up for the night instead, next to the moon.
>Fluttershy is a skeleton pony now, and is scared of herself.
>Rarity the FABULOUS lich made her a pony-costume that she now wears all the time
>Rarity's Phylactery is a strapon, darling.
>Twilight is a ghost pony and mostly haunts the library, busy reading like usual.
>Pinkie Pie is some kind of robot.
>You don't quite get why she's a robot, but that doesn't stop her being one.
>You're still getting over your aversion to necrophilia
>Delicious delicious xenophilia will break down that wall soon enough though
>A ghost blowjob does sound kinda nice
>>
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>>27451365
The Fabulous Dead.
>>
>>27449657
>Carrot acts like he's never lost his wife and possibly his children just for being an autistic dickhead for years.
FTFY
>>
>>27451365
At least Applejack survived
>>
>>27451512
She turned into the perfect undead for a background pony like her. A zombie. One who does nothing but buck apples and her bother.
>>
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>>27451552
Wasn't in the original prompt, so poo on you
>>
>>27451575
>All the ponies are various kinds of undead.
>All the ponies
Applejack confirmed for not actually a pony!
I bet she's actually a very tall breezie
>>
>>27451575
Thank you for visualizing my mortality, Anon. I was trying to do well, eating better and staying positive, but now I think I'm going to order some pizza and think about all the time I've waste in my life.
>>
>>27451552
Incest laws don't apply to the undead. It's like how they got the dog to play basketball in Air Bud.
>>
>>27451679
Or a changeling.
>>
>>27451698
Or a Diamond Dog, we haven't had many of those lately.
>>
>>27451679
Hold it!
Wait a minute you dummie!
You claim all ponies are undead but that Pinkie Pie is a robot

But robots are not undead
Is Pinkie not a pony too?

So which is it?
>>
>>27451746
Pinkie Pie is Pinkie Pie.
>>
>>27451365
What about Rainbow cunt and Apples
>>
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>>27450696

>True Equality of the sexes killed society.

Gee I wonder where you drew that source material.
>>
>>27451751
Are you saying she's not a pony?
>>
>>27451763
Rainbow is one of those leathery flyey ones that aren't vampires.
Or maybe she's a pyramid head

>>27451767
Pinkie Pie is Pinkie Pie.
>>
>>27451779
Durnk, you are quite literally seemingly on every general at once- and you post pretty much all day, from 12am all the way around.
>>
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>>27451779
Answer the question Mr. Drunk Anon
Is she or isn't she a pony?
It's a simple question

I know her name but she isnt a different species from the others she even has sisters and parents
>>
>>27451792
It's always 12 am somewhere.

>>27451793
Pinkie Pie is Pinkie Pie.

>>27451763
Applebloom is one of those wheeley skellingtons.
>>
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>>27451807
see>>27451767
>>
>>27451746
>Is Pinkie not a pony too?
No, she's a robot. I thought we've established this.
>>
>>27451834
But he said all ponies are undead
Are you calling robots undead?
>>
>>27451838
They're not alive.
>>
>>27451855
Being undead implies once living
>>
>>27451861
Pinkie is a robobrain.
>>
>>27451838
>>27451855
Does this unit have a soul?
>>
>>27451870
But that means she's still alive
Kinda like how one with an artificial heart isn't dead
>>
>>27451872
Does a rock have a soul?
>>
>>27451575
Reminder that you are asleep for a third of this time, and expected to be working at a job for another third
>>
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>>27451765
>equality
>not stallions becoming roided out mares
>>
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>>27451879
>>
>>27451891
Answer the question
>>
>>27451899
THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS
>>
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>>27451902
Show me where on the rock where there are four lights
>>
>>27451903
There, there, there and there.
>>
>>27451935
Where, where, where and where?
>>
>>27451935
Like I said, there. Are you blind? There, there, and there also. It stands out.
>>
>Be Anon in Equestria
>New pony is in town today
>Pinkie Pie's sister Maud
>She's some sort of magic fossil golem thing
>"Hello, you must be Anonymous."
"Yes I am."
>"Please don't kill us again, dying ruined my dress. It was inconvenient."
"I'll try not to."
>"Thank you."
>She continues on past your house, glancing at your "Keep out you fucking ponies" sign for a moment.
>And not once interfering with your property.
>This pony you like.
>>
>>27451999
>Anon hires golem Maud as a bouncer/security for his home.
>>
>>27451964
See>>27451949
>>
>>27451870
>Pinkie is a robobrain
I'm reading that comic, too
>>
>>27451999
Not RGRE enough.
>>
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>>27452114
>>
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>>27452137
It isn't thought.
It isn't RGRE at all.
>>
>>27452169 heh. 69.
yes it isnt a thought at all.
>>
>>27451552
Hey!
>>
>>27450696
>>27449847
>>27449743
>>27449420
>>27449282

Fuck all this shit

>Cheese Cake divorced Carrot for a younger, hotter stallion.
>Carrot realizes that he should have tried to compromise with Cup Cake all those years ago
>Pound Cake stopped lifting as much in prison after some self reflection and wants to turn his life around when he gets out
>Chocolate and Creme Cake hate their mom as well as their stepdad
>Even if Carrot isn't their biological father, he still loved them
>Cup Cake and Carrot accidentally meet at the gym.
>They talk about what went wrong in their relationship and decide to give it another try
>Carrot returns to his family's farm to try and repair his relationship with Pumpkin
>Pinkie, seeing what's happening, hatches a plan.
>When Pound Cake gets out of prison, Pinkie throws him a Welcome Home Party complete with his newly reunited family
>It took some hard lessons, but they're together again.
>Anon realizes that making stallions overly aggressive is a bad idea if it causes all this relationship trouble, and tones it down in his gym.
>And everyone lived happily ever after
>The End
>>
>>27452431
booo
>>
>>27452431
>Anon not doubling down on his gym and pumping out the sickest cunts in the universe

Pleb
>>
>>27452461

>wanting the Cakes to remain miserable

They don't deserve that
>>
>>27452479
>24
>not wanting the cakes to be miserable
your simply not edgy enough anon.
>>
>>27452549
i have no idea were that 24 came from. didnt mean to type that.
>>
>>27452549
>>27452556

I thought this thread hated edgyness?
>>
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>>27452431
>Good end after realizing that everyone had a lot to learn after taking the easy way out leaves them even more broken
Just according to kekaiku.

>>27449550
Posting from a Lenovo, actually. But all my stories are on that Asus.
Seriously I have like three unposted chapters to my current stories on that fucking computer.
>>
>>27452578
we do, im jokeing and trying to talk to someone. even i it makes me sound retarded in the process.
>>
>>27452556
>I want to have sex with my own mother
>not wanting the cakes to be miserable
your simply not edgy enough anon.

Oh goodness where did that thing about my mother come from?! I didn't meant to type that.
>>
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>>27451738
Agreed. ALL the diamond dogs.
>>
>>27452591

How is this according to keikaku?
>>
>>27452597
what are you on about anon.
>>
>>27452602
>Diamond dog infiltrates Ponyville by posing as a pet
>Doesn't bark; actually speaks the words "bark" and "woof"
>"HUNGRY PUPPY NOISES"
>>"Aww, does somebody want his kibble
>"WOOF WOOF BARK BARK BARK"
>>
>>27452614
I'm implying that you slipped up and included some personal information. It sometimes happens when doing greentext, which is second-person and makes the reader take the place of the character ("you do this"; "you do that")
>>
>>27452610
>write open ended story with a bittersweet ending
>know that herd-loving loving family fetishizing RGRE would not stand for anything other than a good end
>let escalation shitposting make a worse end then my own
>let hero end shitposting with perfect end.
>channel fanfic writing Aizen.
Plan doori.
>>
>>27452630
ah, ok.
and non of that was personal info, im an edgy faggot in real life and i let it out freely, and im not 24, im 26. just felt like i had to correct that for some reason.
>>
>You are Anon
>And what the shit is going on here
>There's a bunch of ponies laying around outside of LaP's gym, scribbling on sheets of paper
>Every once in a while one of them will run over to another pone, show them the paper, and get them crying
>. . .
>Wait, you know these pones
"Hey!"
>They all turn to look at you in unison
>That will NEVER not be creepy
"You do realize this isn't a Pony Fitness gym, right?"
>They look up at the Iron Church, then back at you
>"Oooooohhhh-"
>Damn horses
>You make your way into the gym, grabbing the first long, stick-like object that isn't your dick
"G'won! Git! Your gym's down the hill on the right-"
>You start shooing them away to the sounds of much protest
>Time to break out the big guns
"I heard they're starting a vroomba class soon! Won't that be nice - to play pretend racecart drivers?"
>Some of the more reluctant ones get up on their own and scurry off to the 'gym' to register
>. . .
>LaP owes you a free shake for this shit or something
>You start picking up the ....crude drawings
>It's just pictures of the cakes with rain clouds and daggers and tiny skulls around them
>They all have frowny faces too
>And what looks like a shipping chart....
>huh.
>>
>>27452651

So you basically just tricked us into writing a story for you?
>>
>>27452670
Just 2/3s of one.
Any of you fucks can be a writefag, you just need to believe in yourselves.

I don't know if anything other than the outlines of my stories survived my PC shitting itself, and I haven't been able to post in a month.
Let me have my fun.
>>
>>27452706

>implying I don't writefag but just do it anonymously

That sucks man. Hope you get your stuff back
>>
Surprisingly I enjoyed this brief interludes into despair. It's kinda nice seeing these sort of consequences happen to ponies.
>>
>>27452706
So you don't enjoy your usual stuff?
>>
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>>27452731
I've only been able to read on my phone until I got this laptop, then I had to save up more to afford getting my motherboard replaced. There is a chance they'll have to format my HDD, having it done my pros so there is a chance to save it.

>>27452932
Super spoilers if I don't make it, because I know losing a ton of work can kill motivation.
You've been warned
Most of my stories will have a bittersweet ending or resolution. Not every girl makes it into the herd, Anon may not escape coliseum life, maybe the half-breed child doesn't come out healthy, maybe there isn't a magical cure for Huntington's after all and the artifact is a hoax.
I try anyway since I'm a sensitive faggot that can't stand to see cute pones hurt without a light at the end of the tunnel.

Next part is just vague enough to not be my outlines.
I'd post this on my pasttebin, but my passwords are a random set of numbers and letters that was saved on my PC so I can't get to it.
Serious shit ahead.
>ALB There was a Spike chapter done, that entails his conversation with Rares while Anon was fapping in the basement. There is not hope for him. Anon can impregnate everything in Equestria, but a reaction with a certain species makes him gunshy about staying in Equestria. He compromises.
>BB&F Ponies that have seen Anon fight seriously don't want him out of the arena, with good fucking reason. M6 wants him out on varying degrees, with Twi falling on one end because he just savaged her brother, RD on the other since he earned his freedom, and Rarity square in the middle because she is pragmatic and has a bit of a plan for the proven fighter.
>>
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>>27453150
2/2

Continue huge spoiler dump, read at own peril.

>Unannounced thing I was working on - Liar in Equestria - Typical AiE except Anon has his little sister (Target Demo? Femanon?) is the one into ponies. Anon is trying desperately to keep them out of the loonie bin or dungeons because of his sister having fangasms and wanting to dump her knowledge of the upcoming season. Takes place after S4 Might be prose. Been through a ton of rewrites, lowest chance of happening

>Other unannounced RGRE thing - No title - Busting into song in Equestria is an indicator that a being has some harmony magic within them showing. Even villains that sing have a chance to be reformed on the side of good since they have the capacity of harmony within them. Only two sapient beings in the history of Equestria have never broken into song.

Tirek, and Anon. Twilight, Rare, and Ponk, are insistent that Anon is good, given their experience with him, but everyone else sees too many simulates with Tirek including the human torso to see them as unrelated and calls for him to be put in Tartarus.
Thin line between Love and Mates - Rarity and Anon hit it off on their date, there are a few afterword with Twilight giving worse and worse advice that seems to be golden since Rarity's dates go swimmingly time and again. Frustration and guilt catch up to her and Twilight confesses that she was the reason Rarity's love life has been so shit.


That's all you're getting because since it was the most recent thing I worked on I could probably rewrite the chapter.

I've already bought an external HD so this shit doesn't happen again.

Ok blog over, you may now continue writing about sick cunts.
>>
>"Anon, I know you've had your eye on Flurry Heart, but... I talked with Shining, and we decided... She's my cocksock now."
>>
>Wiggling into Anon’s arms you try to find a more comfortable position and hide your shame that leaks onto the ground.
>Buuuuck, you really don’t want to explain this to Anon…
>As you walk Anon adjusts his hands on you to wrap you in one arm with his frog on your rump!
>You’re sure that you look as red as one of the apples from the farm now.
“A-Anon, you can let me down!”
>”No way Bloom, your sister would kill me if I made you walk all the way back when your sick.”
>More likely she kill you for making a colt carry you all the way to Sweet Apple Acres.
“Really! It’s fine, you don’t have to go ou-”
>A small boop to your nose stops your arguement and you look past the hoof spider up to Anon’s eyes.
>”Bloom relax, I’m taking you to bed and that’s final.”
>That is so lewd!
>These kinds of things only happen in Big Mac’s picture books!
>...
>NOT THAT YOU WOULD KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT NO MA’AM!
>>
>>27453406

>Hearing the crunch of gravel underneath you look round to see the apple trees in sight.
>The farmhouse is just ahead and Anon is STILL carrying you.
“W-well can you at least let me walk in the house?”
>You can feel Anon sigh underneath you, but you use the secret ability of puppy dog eyes at him!
>It’s unmarely to even use this trick now that your older, but darn it desperate times call for desperate measures!
>Anon jerks and squeezes you tightly, making you fear that it didn’t work!
>Great now he’s going to be mad at you for bein-
>Why is he putting you down?!
>”Fine, just don’t do that eye thing of yours alright?”
>Beaming up at him you nod before clamping your traitor tail down as it tries to wave the flag.
>Trotting inside you call out to the family, “Applejack! BIg Mac! Granny! I’m back!”


>”Applebloom? Isn’t your scout thing still goin’ on?” Comes the hearty voice of your sister from the stairs “Stars and garters Bloom, you could have warned a mare that ya’ll had company over! I’d have made myself decent.”
>Tilting your head at your sister you soon spot what’s making her so nervous.
>”I don’t mind Applejack, you look rather pretty without your ponytail.”
>”Ah, uh...Ah suppose, ahem, what brings you and Bloom over then?” Applejack, one of the marelest mares you know is refusing to look Anon in the eye.
>What in the buck is even going on?
>And why do you feel the need to rub against Anon?
>Shaking off the urges you catch Anon say, “-sick, so I brought her home before it got worse.”
>Applejack kneels down to take a closer look at you before her nose suddenly wrinkles and your blush jumps hosts to your sister.
>>
>>27453413

>”AHahahah! WEll uh, that sure was mighty kind of Anon, you go on ahead and do your Anon things while I take care of Bloom here!”
>”Applejack? Are you alright?”
>Applejack continues to grin wildly as she brings her hoof around you and drags you behind her.
“Hey!”
>A small glare is sent your way before Applejack answers Anon with that too wide smile on her face, “Yep! Fine as peaches even! So you scurry on home while I fix Applebloom up here ya hear?”
>Anon nods his head and starts to walk towards the door only to stop, “Wait, Applejack?”
>Freezing in place Applejack turns her head back, “Yeah?”
>”In all my times since I’ve been here I’ve /never/ heard you use a food metaphor that isn’t apple related...are you getting sick as well?”
>Applejack scrunches hard as she levels another glare at you.
>You just put your hooves up mouthing you didn’t do nothing!
>Through the sisterly bond of apples you can tell Applejack doesn’t believe you for a minute.
>”Applejack?”
>Sighing Applejack responds, “It’s fine Anon, Ah’m not getting sick, just frazzled recently, but it ain’t nothing you’re going to be able to fix.”
>”Are you sure I can’t?”
>Hearing that low rumble makes you cross your legs imagining him holding you down and…
>Fiddle sticks you need more research material, Applejack’s Play Colt is just a bunch of words!
“He c-”
>Suddenly hoof to the gut!
>>
>>27453422

>As you try to recover Applejack does another bout of laughter, “Ahaha, well thanks for the thought Anon, but you really should go now.”
>Kneeling down rubbing your gut you watch as Applejack buries her head into Anon’s side pushing him out the house.
>”Are you sure th-”
>”Yes Anon! I am sure, thank you for bringing Bloom home!”
>Giving a last bump to Anon’s rear, unf, Applejack closes the door and leans against it with a sigh.
>You take the time to skedaddle as you know how your sister gets when she’s frazzled and it’s your fault.
>You had only taken a step before the stairs betray you with a creak.

>”Applebloom!”
>Fiddle sticks…
>”What in the wide world of Equestria was that all about?! You come home with that colt smelling like you're in heat and your scent all over him! I thought I raised you better than that!”
“It’s not like that at all!”
>Applejack squints her eyes at you as she comes closer, “Is that so? Well then missy, how about you explain it to me then?”
>Going over what happened at the scout class you make sure to omit the dare.
>Applejack eyes you with a shrewd glance and hums, “You’re not telling me everything Bloom, I can feel it in my gut…”
>Damn those harmony honesty powers!
>Never let you get away with anything!
>Sighing you are about to spill all the details before Applejack draws you into a hug?
>>
>>27453433
>”But it’s fine Apple Bloom, I know how having your heat is like, let’s get you bundled up and into the house.”
“Aww...do I really oughta?”
>Applejack just raises her eyebrow at you.
“Okay, okay I’m going! Slave master you are!”
>”I’m just keeping you from ruining some pretty colts life, what about that Rumble colt? I hear good things from him?”
“Ew Rumble? Are you kidding? His hair is like eighty percent hair gel I think, way too high maintenance!”
>Applejack just ruffles your mane and slaps your rump, “Whatever lil one, you just git afore I make ya git! Dinner be ready in an hour.”
“Alright!”

I think I wrote Applebloom out of the story as Applejack wouldn't let her out for fear of her going full hentai on some colt...
>>
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>>27452659
There you go, BNW. Don't ask what's in it, but trust me, it'll make you big and strong
>>
>>27453404
Hard to make use of a cocksleeve without a cock, friendo.
>>
>>27453404
Wrong thread.
>>
>>27453406
This sounds like you're continuing somethign else. Or is this a one-shot that just started in the middle of nowhere? Fuck me Anon, post some fucking context.
>>
>>27453493
http://pastebin.com/4HAp2ynv

Sorry bout that Anon, forgot.
>>
Friends, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Amphetanon. He was not long for this world, taken as he was from us far too quickly, but none of us will forget his contributions.

Who here remembers when he was but a young anon, bright eyed and hopeful, fair bursting with green. As he made this way through the thread, he was named and slowly the green flowed. Like many of you, I laughed and felt feelz and got a semi from the idea of him writing lewd.

Life is what it is, though, and now he is gone. So come with me, friends, and remember our fallen writefag: Amphetanon.
>>
>>27453583
RIP in peace
>>
>>27453583
>2/3 the writefags have abandoned ship
It was fun while it lasted, Anons.
>>
>>27453583
So how does this work, do we throw bad dragon paraphernalia at his casket or what?
>>
>>27453583
F
>>
>>27452349
Listen !
>>
>>27453583
what is this about? is rgre dieing? it beter fucking not i just hoped on this ride.
>>
So whats the RGRE version of a dick in a box?
>>
>>27453443
>I think I wrote Applebloom out of the story as Applejack wouldn't let her out for fear of her going full hentai on some colt...
YA BLEW IT
>>
>>27453721
Cunt in a cube
>>
>>27453721
an ass present? you know how pones carry things on their ass? maybe it could be something like that were they tie a box to another box on the top of their ass that covers their vagoo. its just a guess though i really have no idea how that would work.
>>
>>27453583
Someone go through his pockets. The cunt owes me money.

>>27453647
LaP and Shuk are still producing regularly. Comfy and Slownon drop when they can.
>>
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>>27453754
kek
>>
>>27453721
>So whats the RGRE version of a dick in a box
box^2

>>27453583
He had a good run, and I'm sad to see him go. His story was my second fav in this thread.
>>
>>27452591
>Seriously I have like three unposted chapters to my current stories on that fucking computer.
Buy a hard drive toaster, son. Windows might dislike swapping boards enough to require a reinstall.
>>
>>27453583
Is this the "Amphetanon tells us not to say he's kill so we say he's kill" meme or has he really jumped ship?
>>
>>27453150
>having it done my pros
Oh shit, you definitely need to buy a hard drive toaster.

Don't count on any shop to save your data. I'm not saying they won't, but they may instead just wipe the drive and say it was unrecoverable. You're better off backing up the shit you want to keep, just in case.
>>
>>27453977
dude pops in every few days and drops some more, in the beginning he was fast but its fucking finals time and he has legit better shit to do.
>>
>>27454008
only time my computer went to a shop was when the only way i could diagnose the issue was buying 500$ in spare parts, even then, i remove every drive because they always fucking ALWAYS wipe the drives because its easier to do that once then deal with actual diagnosing.
>>
>>27453443
>I think I wrote Applebloom out of the story as Applejack wouldn't let her out for fear of her going full hentai on some colt

You can still save this, you can have AJ fill in wearing ABs bow so ponies don't suspect a thing but Anon knows.
>>
>Be Anon
>Living in the Everfree with Zecora
>Twilight kicked you out of the castle after an incident with Spike and a bottle of whiskey
>You made him a man, goddamn it!
>You're not bitter anymore though
>After a few weeks, you and Zecora have really clicked
>Turns out she's is into the same weird butt stuff as you
"Zecora, with your ass so fine, I'm going to make it mine!"
>Oh yeah, and a potion accident causes you to rhyme compulsively now
>>
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>>27454769
>Be RGR Zecora
>Your mom thought you'd die alone, yet every night you suck a bone
>A secret potion or two made him perfect for you
>He even rhymes in the traditional time!
>He'll fill you full of frolicking foals
>Of racemixing, you have achieved your goals.
>>
>>27454850
>Zecora fucks up the potion
>Anon can now only speak in dirty limericks
>>
>>27455006
"There once was a mare from the jungle."
"Her ass made my genitals rumble."
"She gave me some juice"
"My rhyming ran loose"
"And now with her potions she's humble."
>>
>>27455036
well shit Anon that was pretty cool.
>>
>>27455061
Thanks Anon.
>>
>>27453406
Do you have a pastebing?
>>
>>27453226
Okay, maybe I'm simply blind as fuck, but I can't find your pastebin in the OP, going by "PoppedAnon".

Any chance of a link to before mentioned pastebin?
>>
For fuck's sake.

NOTE TO WRITEFAGS: Post your fucking pastebin before you post your stories. You look like a tool when you don't.
>>
>>27453404

How do cocksocks even make sense in RGRE? It's a male power fantasy that wouldn't really jive with the idea that stallions don't have as much power as mares.
>>
>>27455345
Everyone interprets it a bit differently from one another, but I see it as those cases where a sex-deprived woman rapes a boy, and although everyone believes that what she did was wrong, they all wish they were the boy.
>>
>>27455225
they are tools, tools for the gods of green
>>
>>27455368

So is it legal or illegal in RGRE?
>>
>>27455345
It doesn't, but you can't tell that to the people that migrated here after their general failed.
>>
cooooooorpse
>>
>>27455652
Illegal, but the most you'll get is community service.
>>
>>27455731
Just find a white knight mare who'll try to sway the jury by telling them that the filly raped the stallion. They'll eat it up. If the filly gets preggers, the stallion will keep the baby and the underaged child pony will have to pay foal support.
>>
>>27455780
I see what you're doing.
>>
>>27455813
I'm sorry. I regret posting that.
>>
>>27455128
Only managed the first chapter in RGRE before everything went tits up.

http://pastebin.com/u/PoppedAnon

RGRE story
http://pastebin.com/WdDcWNRG
>>
What ever happened to frosty?
>>
>>27456004
Boating accident. You really wouldn't think that something like a propeller could do as much damage as it did.
>>
>>27456021
Wait, what? Are you just fucking with me? Did he seriously get in a boating accident?
>>
>>27456021
I heard that he was shanked in prison
>>
>>27456453
I heard it he tried fucking a horse IRL and went Mr Hands on us.

>>27456414
I could tell you, but that would ruin the fun.
>>
>>27456559
Nah man, it was a mare and she kicked his ribs in.
Finding a pantless corpse in the stables could not have been good for his parents.
>>
>>27456453
>he
>>
>>27456004
>>27456414
If you really want to know, she wrote a scootaloo story last month
>>
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>>27455386
Green is the will of the Gods!

and we are their instrument!
>>
>>27456004
Her box got too cold and she died.
>>
>>27456021
Ever seen I Spit On Your Grave? I'm surprised it only did that much.
>>
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So there was this one short green from an earlier thread where ponies are horse sized and Anon can't speak horse grunts. It looked like it might have been like Lost in Translation. I'ma do something with it.

Here's what the anon posted so far:

>in a world where ponies are structurally the same as real life horses


>"Fluttershy, be careful! We don't even know what that creature IS yet!"
>You smile at Twilight's concern but you don't stop nuzzling your new friend.
"I-it's okay, Twilight. It's a m-male, which means that it w-won't be as aggressive as a f-female of its species. See?"
>You wrap a wing around the creature and he doesn't try to push it away.
"H-he likes me!"

>You are Anon and what is even going on.
>You're being cuddled by a horse-sized yellow horse with wings
>You're honestly freaking out pretty badly right now and your body has chosen the "stay where you are and wait for mommy to find you" method of dealing with stress.
>You especially don't want to panic and flail around now that the purple horse with the sharp horn coming out of its head is investigating you
>The yellow one wrapped its wing around you when the purple one got too close, so the yellow one's cool with you
>You don't know what happened but you think you've been accepted as one of them


>You are Fluttershy once more
>"Wait, how did you figure out that it was a male, Fluttershy?"
>Hmm.
>"W-well..."


>You are Anon
>You were a virgin once
>You remember those days fondly


I'm going to do something with this in the next post.
>>
>>27457619
well I take that back. It felt like a real good idea at the time but I can't figure out how to combine RGR with the "ponies think Anon is a pet" trope

Sorry for being such a huge faggot.
>>
>>27457685
It really sucks that none of the other threads last as long nor get the attention needed to get some good green out of them.
>>
>>27457685
You could make Anon eventually be the pet of a prissy stallion who tries to dress him in stupid sweaters and floof his hair up or something.
>>
>>27455731
>>27455780

>Anon becomes a serial filly fucker
>has to do regular community service but that's about it
>mares start pretending to be fillies so he picks them.
>>
>>27457787
That's... actually a good idea. He should do it.
>>
>>27457813
>"Well howd-ahem! G-golly gee, mi-mister Anohn! Ah didn't expect to f-find ya'-you here today in this here alleyway!"
"Applejack, I can tell it's you."
>"Buck! Ah mean, what do you m-mean, Mister Anon? Ah'm just a tiny little filly, ripe for the pickin'!"
"....."
>"It's me! Appleja-bloom!"
>>
>>27457813
>Cheerilee dresses up and speaks like fillies did when she was young
>20 years ago
>Anon is being seduced by a walking 80's movie
>>
>>27457685
>>27457749
>>27457787
Human pet play isn't as bad as diaper shit, but it shares a zip code with it.
>>
>>27457619
human pet play is fetish of mine, please continue
>>
>>27458078
>>27458100
>human pet play
Dammit, why does every idea have to be some kind of weird pervy crap? Can't someone just write an amusing story about mismatched viewpoints and comical misunderstandings without making it weird?
>>
>>27458121
ill except either one really, im in for a laugh or a clop. either is fine.
>>
>>27458121
You must be new here if you think the internet's not going to turn an idea into a perverted clusterfuck.
>>
>>27458121
>Dammit, why does every idea have to be some kind of weird pervy crap? Can't someone just write an amusing story about mismatched viewpoints and comical misunderstandings without making it weird?
>>>/ponychan/
>>
>>27456004
Yeah what those Anons above me said, totally dead, killed by a pretty weak propellor of all things, like basically a pinwheel, because I am just that much of a pleb. So that, along with a good mix of that good ol' depression and writing apathy I get every so often.

>>27456818
This also and the, admittedly pretty weak, Lyra and Bon Bon short thing I did a few threads back.

>>27456761
I am just tickled that you remembered.
>>
>>27458140
Oh, I'm sure they will, and then I'll call them all faggots, as is my right.
But it's a problem when entire concepts are subsumed completely by stupid perverts in such a way that all other legitimate interpretations of the concept become invalidated.

Imagine a world where every single RGRE story had been turned into a faggy sissy fetish story. That's not a world I want to live in.
>>
>>27458121
Anon, it doesn't have to be a weird sexual thing. I think petplay is fucking weird, but I'd still be interested in a story where Anon has to put up with a bunch of ponies trying to pet him or give him food because the language barrier prevents him from correcting them. You've read those greens where Anon is forced into a situation that he COULD escape from just by growing a spine and saying "no", right? It would be like a Momlestia story where Celestia puts a huge amount of effort to be Anon's "mom", but Anon fights back by refusing her efforts.

That's what RGRE is all about, right? Subverting the expectations of a society or a situation?
>>
>>27458237
>That's what RGRE is all about, right? Subverting the expectations of a society or a situation?
RGRE is about reverse gender roles in equestria, faggot. If you want to write a generic AiE story, go to AiE.
>>
>>27458179
We never forget you, or anything about you, sempai. Hope things get better for you.
>>
>>27458179
I remember a surprising amount of things from this thread.
>>
>>27458237
(samefag here)
For example, I read a story (I'm too big of a faggot to find the link) where Anon leaves Ponyville and tries to walk to the dragon lands. He does this because Fluttershy's attempts to get into his pants (and the Mane 6's insistence that he "give her a chance") had finally made him reach his limit and he couldn't take it any more. He nearly died from exhaustion. I liked that story because he saw that things were bullshit, and he knew that nobody was physically holding him down or holding a gun to his head, so he grew a pair and just left.

Mind you, the story ended up with him bunking with Fluttershy (psychologist's orders), and I stopped reading there.

The point is, it was a classic Flutterrape set-up (Fluttershy does extreme things to get into his pants; her friends are on her side despite the morality of the situation), only Anon up and left and subverted the entire theme of the story. That made it a really interesting story to read, because you didn't know what Anon would do next; he didn't follow what was expected of him for the plot. And that's what would make a "petplay" story interesting as long as Anon subverted ponies expectations of him.

>>27458179
Hey Frosty! Sorry to hear about all that bad shit going on in your life. If it makes you feel better, I sympathise. Take all the time you need. Thanks for letting us know you're still alive, friend.
>>
>>27458303
>(I'm too big of a faggot to find the link)
What a shame. I'd like to see that.
>>
>>27458267
and what goes on in rgr fics, retard? ponies have their own expectations of anon and almost every conflict is caused by anon not going along with them.

>daring douche: Daring Do tries to get the HMD the same way she would get a colt's dick, but it doesn't work. she sticks around out of interest/the challenge.
>woodworker anon: Twilight treats Anon like her future submissive husbando (like she would treat a colt in the same situation) and it doesn't work because Anon's not a fag. fleur is there and she treats Anon like an equal and succeeds where Twilight failed.
>diggy hole: Anon digs a hole and mares in town try to treat him like a delicate stallion. he refuses, and the mares get aggressive and try to force their help on him. I distinctly remember the word "gentlemare" being thrown around referring to themselves when they were talking to anon to convince him to let them dig the hole for him.
>apple of her eye: applejack has drunk sex with Anon and thinks she's raped him b/c reversed gender roles. she tries to get him to marry her because sex outside of marriage/herding is a no no for a colt (at least according to her country values), but anon is all "nah"

Just what the fuck do you think even goes on in RGR fics Anon?
>>
>>27458395
you know, I don't think I've ever read any rgr fics where anon might be in the wrong or the ponies conflict with anon might be justified.
>>
>>27454525
You need to go to a computer shop that isn't shit.
The ones I've used have never fucked with my data, and the only time they did anything "wrong" with data handling was forgetting to move some vidya savegames that the game put in %APPDATA% for some weird reason.

>>27453583
He will be missed.

>>27453443
Ponies innawoods is good

>>27453647
You could try writefeagging, you know.

>>27457619
Cute.
>>
>>27458576
damn near every shop just formats as you brought in a broke pc, its cheaper and less time consuming to just format it.
>>
I'm looking to catch up with the Broken Herds story where Anon ended up with Celestia and Luna.

Does anyone have that link handy?
>>
>>27453406
>>Big Mac’s picture books
Misread that as "Big Mac's pleasure books"
>>
>>27456818
>she
It's not a girl if it has a dick
>>
>>27453583
>>27453619
>>27453647
>>27453676
>>27453688
>>27453776
>>27453700
>>27453977
>>27454514

STOP SAYING I'M DEAD

THE MEME MAGIC WILL LITERALLY KILL ME
>>
>>27458682
You're dead.
>>
>>27458690
I'M NOT DEAD I'M TRYING TO GET CLEAN THERE'S A DIFFERENCE EVEN IF IT FEELS LIKE DYING
>>
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>>27458682
>>
>>27458682
i never said you were dead i asked if rgre was dieing.
>>
>>27458694
>>27458682
Guys I think he might not be completely dead.
>>
>>27458616
Fuck, I know exactly which one you're talking about. Gimme a sec to do some searching.
>>
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>>27458710
never fucking change Durnk, never fucking change
>>
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>>27458710
He's a Skeleton dude, can you really trust one of those?
>>
>>27458616
Bam

http://pastebin.com/DDf6pSP4
>>
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>>27458769
Thank
>>
>>27458806
Welcome
>>
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would you gently console a sad crying mare
>>
>>27458906
Depends on why she cried in the first place.
>>
>>27458942
She's a loser with no friends who openly cries in public.
>>
>>27458953
>Pone sits next to you on a park bench
>Unwashed mane; smell that reaches you from three feet away; chubby tummy that nearly scraped the wooden seat
>AbsolutelyDisgusting.png
>SNIFFLE
>Hmm?
>You look over (meaning you stop pretending that you weren't looking at her from the corner of your eye) and get an eye-full of a very, VERY sad mare.
>Her ears are laying flat and her lip is quivering something FIERCE
>Noticing you move, the mare glances over at you and hastily wipes the tears out of her eyes.
>"S-sorry..."
>With that whimpered apology coming out of nowhere, the mare stands up and jumps off the bench and onto the park path.
>...or rather she WOULD, but her rear-hoof got caught on one of the boards of wood functioning as a seat.
>She takes a tumble to the ground, the fall looking as though it hurt her pride more than her body.
>The mare doesn't get up.
>"B-bucking damn-it..."
>Her sniffles return and her body starts to shake.
>"C-can't even w-walk right... st-stupid, pathetic, u-ugly pony..."
>You're pretty sure she doesn't know you can hear her.
>"Wh-why can't y-you do anyth-thing right?"
>Her voice wobbles and her breath hitches on her last word, and you can tell by the noises coming from her that she's crying but she's trying very hard not to.
>>
>>27458953
Well as long as she's not loud?
>>
>>27453443
Anon visits in the dead of night out of concern for Apple Bloom and finds a way to speak with her without the other Apples knowing.

BAM solved.
>>
>>27459077
Sucks to be you!
>>
>Ponies of Equestria are all very immature
>They act as though they stop developing emotionally after about age 8
>Even the Princesses
>Anon becomes a surrogate father to almost everyone, kissing boo-boos and baking cookies that he rewards ponies if they're good
>Lives with the princesses just in case one of them falls and scrapes her knee, or if Luna calls Celestia something juvenile and makes her cry
>>
>>27459077
pick her up and comfort her you idiot
>>
>>27458694
How hard is it to get clean?
Just jump in the tub scrub yourself with soap and wash your hair with shampoo.

There, you are now clean
Dont forget to get behind your ears
>>
>>27459077
Moar?
>>
>>27459077
This reminds me of that old green where Anon is a prostitute but not the sexual kind. Ponies pay him to cuddle with them and give them belly rubs and brush their mane and he finds them disgusting but it's the only way he can make money.

Then he meets a mare that still doesn't have her cutie mark and ask if he will pretend to be her husband for three days.
He says yes but she has to pay and he's got a filly for such an occasion that will pretend to be their child but it'll cost extra. The mare leaves and comes back with all the bits anon asked for
>>
>>27459164
Link?
>>
>>27459077
>Getting up, you walk over and lay a hand on her shoulders.
>She jumps but otherwise doesn't make an effort to move.
>Now that you're in contact with her, you can feel her chest heave and her body shiver.
"Are you okay?"
>It's a long five seconds before she answers in a whimper.
>"N-no..."
>You're pretty sure she isn't talking about her fall.
>But you've been in Equestria for a while now.
>You've seen crying ponies (mostly male ponies, oddly enough), and you know what to do with one.
>You wriggle your hands underneath her and give a heave, pulling her onto your lap.
>She doesn't even try to resist.
>She throws her hooves around your neck and hugs you desperately.
>"I'm sorry!"
>What?
>She starts sobbing into your chest.
>Whatever's been bothering her; your act of kindness had been her breaking point.
>"I'm s-so sorry!"
>All you can do is hug her back and wait for her to get it all out of her system.
>You're pretty sure it isn't YOU she's apologizing to.
>>
Is notonefuck deadaroo?
>>
>>27459206
He's super-duper deadarooni, neighborino.
>>
>>27459194
Please, more. This is ultra-cute.
>>
>>27459217
No can do friendo. It's past 4 here and I just barely shat that out. If I were you I'd write the next part myself.
>>
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>>27459228
Alright. G'night, dude.

I'll go back to my corner and keep surfing lists of pastebins, and inevitably finding nothing I haven't already read.

Anybody have any specific recommendations? I might luck out and someone might've seen one I glanced over before.
>>
>>27459243
inb4 shameless plugs
>>
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>>27459299
>"I never thought I'd ever find a kindred spirit. I think we're going to enjoy a long relationship of filly-fiddling together, Mister Hansen."
>>
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>>27459299
happy content relationships are my favorite
>>
>>27459188

https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18031447/#18054720
>>
>>27459325
Thanks family
>>
>>27459299
>You are on a hilltop
>You hold your beloved son Cheerilee by the shoulder.
"One day, son, this will all be yours."
"Everything the light touches, from the Smoky Forest in the north all the way to the Museumopolis in the south."
>"I'm not your son."
"I understand your feelings, Cheerilee. You do not feel you are worthy, that you might fail in the responsibilities of leadership."
"You truly care about our people, and that is why you will succeed."
>"No, I mean we're different species. It's not biologically possible."
"You may only be a mere equine, but you have proven yourself many times to be up to this task, my son."
>"I'm not even a male."
"There is no need to fret over your lingering virginity, Cheerilee. Many men remain abstinent for much longer than you have."
"If it becomes an issue I will hire the finest whores to fuck you in the street so that none may doubt your virility."
>"No, I'm not saying that I'm not a male because of something like virginity or some metaphorical bullshit like that. I'm saying that I'm female."
"They can be male whores if that is your preference, I love you just as much if you're a homosexual."
>"I'm not a homosexual!
>You are so proud of your son.
>>
>>27459347
>Cheerilee tries seducing Anon
>Anon does not want homosex with son
>>
>>27459347
>>27459349
Are you stalking me? You're in /prison/, this, AiE, and every general I'm in. All the ones I'm not in you're also not in- I checked.

You're like an omni-present demigod of some sort.
>>
>>27459360
I just hang out in a few threads and try to crosspost to applicable threads.
I do a lot of work on computers and keep a 4chan window open in the background so I can check on the threads I hang out in every now and than.
I'm certainly not spying on you or something like that.
That would be impolite.
I just try to be a pretty cool guy and to writefag when I feel up to it.
>>
>>27458179
Stay frosty, sis
>>
>>27458694
> IT FEELS LIKE DYING
OH SHIT THE MEME MAGIC IS STARTING TO ACT !
>>
>>27459716
WE HAVE TO CROSS THE MEMES!
Who's a silly pony?
Who is? You is!
Who's a silly pony? Amphet-Anon!

>Be Applejack, farmer of apples, in Equestria.
>Where else would you be?
>That alien colt, Anonymous, came by earlier to give you some of his home cooking.
>He said he just wants to see how ponies like it, but you have an inkling that he's a mite sweet on you.
>And if he wasn't some sort of weird alien monster thing, you'd probably ask him on a date.
>But since race-mixing is a sin, you won't.
>But you can certainly be a good neighbor and taste test some of these alien foods.
>He's given you a hoof-full or so of the small hard white discs.
>Maybe they're some kind of sweet?
>He did mention to not eat them all at once.
>What a thoughtful colt, thinking of your health like that.
>You put one in your mouth as just a test, and it's sorta bland.
>You swallow it anyhow, your parents taught you not to waste perfectly fine food.
>>
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>>27459774
What did she eat
>>
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>>27460053
> small hard white discs
> not eat them all at once
> "cooking"
Those are obviously home-made mint Mentos.
>>
>>27459114
Ubercute. I love stories of this variety.
It makes the pony prison thread enjoyable, after all.
>>
>>27459790
>Octavia is too pissed being shit on by life and starts a ska-punk band
>>
>>27460276
>Meanwhile Anon plays as a funk artist from across town, content with what he has.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlCC1XojRzM
>>
>>27460276
Because when I think edgy musicians, I think cellists.
>>
>>27459360
>Stalked by Durnk anun
>don't like it
Pleb
>>27460053
You are too pure for this board Anon
>>
>>27460784
Because it's true.
Like when you think anal sex, you think harpists.
>>
>>27460276
>Ska
>Ever anything but shit.
>>
>>27460930
Sounds good.
>>
>>27460935
being shit is the point of punk
>>
>>27459360
What this anon >>27460897 said. You should be glad that someone like Durnk goes to the same threads you do.
>>
>>27460942
Just look at his mug, so naughty, I bet there's no place his cock won't go.
>>
>"--And I SWEAR if he's not complaining he's whining that we don't think he's pretty enough! Why, just the other da--"
>There was a small smile on your face as you listened to your student's venting
>Yes, she may have been a princess now
>Yes, she may have gone above and beyond anything that you had hoped for her, so much so that sometimes it seemed like SHE was the teacher and YOU were the student
>But, even with all of that, she was still your dear old student
>Even now, even after she had grown into her own she was still that little filly that had pounded on your door at three in the morning, terrified as her first heated swept through her like a hurricane
>While not the most awkward talks that you've ever had (you've had QUITE a few in your many years) it had nearly taken the entire night because your explanation had turned into an impromptu lesson
>You STILL don't know where Twilight had gotten that parchment and that quill...
>And the questions!
>By your sun did she have a LOT of those...
>Your smile widened, but you hid it by taking a sip of your tea
>"--I know the girls and I knew what to expect when we let Caramel into our herd for a test run but HOLY HORSE APPLES!"
>With a groan, Twilight let her head slap against your table, nearly knocking over your tea pot in the process
>Oh my goodness her horn was going to leave a scuff...
>You were going to have to get somepony to reapply some wood polish on it tomorrow...
>"I don't know, Princ--"
"Celestia, Twilight. You know that you can just call me Celestia now. Please."
>Though you couldn't see her face, you'd bet your horseshoes that she was making a face
>"...Celestia. I mean the girls and I must have gone through three stallions already and each of them have been a dud!"
>Your frazzled student picked her head up from the table to look at you
>For a moment or two she was looking you in the eyes, but as the seconds ticked by her gaze went upward toward your horn, where your wedding band sat
>Oh hoho
>>
>>27461150
>As young as she was your old student was thinking of marriage?
>What a silly little potato...
"Though many would lead to to believe otherwise, Twilight, there are many, MANY fish in the sea."
>You took another sip of your tea, humming happily at the flavor
>Hmmm... Beluga Caviar...
"If you and the girls keep looking I'm sure you'll find the perfect stallion."
>With a mischievous smile, you leaned forward
"In fact, if you truly wish to end it with this Caramel, I'm positive that I could find somepony amongst the--"
SLAM!
>Your door, a two hundred year old antique that had been hoof-carved out of the now VERY rare red mount tree, very nearly slip in half as it slammed against your wall with enough force to knock nearly very mirror and painting that you had on the wall off their hangings
>"SISTER! WE HATH ISSUE WITH THEE!"
>Twilight, with a yelp, bucked behind the table as you managed to catch every single one of the falling paintings/mirrors
>Ihavereflexeslikeaninjafilly.scroll
>With a flick of your horn everything returned to its proper place just as your dear, dear sister comes stomping over toward you
>While you were used to Luna's... grand and EXPLOSIVE entrances it had been a long while since you had seen her this muffed
>Her mane and tail were whipping back and forth, the stars in them BLAZING, her tuft was at a hundred percent fluff and her nose was so scrunched up that in the right light she could have been mistaken for a blue pug
>A GRUMPY blue pug
>You simply smiled back at her, taking another sip of your tea as your sister stopped about a foot from you
>Twilight, with her ears perked up, slowly poking her head up from underneath the table, only to duck back with a yelp as your sister stomped her hoof so hard that the stone floor cracked
>...
>Well then, It looked like SOMEPONY had the case of grumpy gills this afternoon...
>>
>>27461162
"And what seems to be the problem, my dear sister?" you asked, only for a piece of paper to be shoved into your face
>"We were looking through the mail this morn when we came upon THIS!" she spat, her eyes burning with fury
>Raising an eyebrow, you calmly took the paper out of your sister's magic and took a look at what was making her so darn ornery
"Hmmmm... What do we have here?"
>It was a... tax form?
>Your eyebrow raised a little more as Luna snorted angrily
"This is my... tax refund?" you said, looking over the piece of paper a little more closely
>...
>Holy horse apples did you not get a doggone thing...
>"Aye, it is," Luna said, snatching the paper out of your magic. "But that is immaterial. THIS though, THIS is our problem."
>Your sister tapped a certain part of your tax form, prompting you to take a closer look
>From what you could tell it appeared to be nothing; all she was pointing at was the section that you wrote down the members of your herd so that the Equestria Tax Registration could group everything accordingly
> It helped a filly save 'dose bits yo
>There was your husband's name written, along with your sister's and your's
>Your sister, seeing your confused expression, became even more livid
>"Tis says that THOU art the alpha mare in the royal herd, SISTER MINE," Luna snapped
>...
>Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh...
>Your brown furrowed as you brought your tea cup to your lips
"Is that all, sister? I don't see what the pro--"
>"HA!" Luna yelled, slapping your tea cup out of your hooves.
>Thatwasmuhbuckingtea!
>"HA WE SAY!"
>You reeled back slightly as your sister stuck her muzzle into your face
>"For this IS a problem! Thou thinkest that thou art the alpha of the royal herd!"
"Luna, PLEASE, that tea cup was EXPENSIVE," you said, using your magic to pick up the broken pieces. "It was part of a set that they do NOT make any--"
>>
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>>27461184
>"Do no use thy silver tongue to try to talk thy way out of this, sister!" Luna snapped, puffing her chest out to show off her admittedly impressive tuft
>...
>Was she...
>Did she puff out her chest tuft so they you would be threatened by her?
>Though you love your sister with all of your heart, the lizard part of your brain begins to kick into overdrive
>Your position as alpha was being threatened, you didn't know WHAT had thrown Luna into such a tizzy but it WAS being threatened, and that just wouldn't do
>Standing up, you puffed your chest out
>Though your tuft wasn't as puffed out as Luna's was, you were still a good deal bigger than she was, and proportionally you had much more fur on your chest
>Yeah... look at it
>Iain'teventryin'andmuhtuftisgreater
>FEARTHETUFTZIGGA!
>With a snort, your sister took a hasty step backwards
"Luna, sister, I thought that the moment we began courting Anonymous that we had already settled this silliness," you said, still wanting to talk this out like an adult
>"Nay! Thou had simply assumed that thou were greater than me simply because of thy over-inflated ego!" Luna cried, poking you with a hoof. "Tis poppy cock. POPPY COCK I SAY!"
>...
>You don't see why something like that would bother your sister so much...
>Having the position of alpha really didn't mean that much nowadays...
>It was more of a ceremonial title than anything...
>...
>Did you two never really talk about it?
>Your nose scrunched up in thought as you recalled those many years ago
>Your sister had befriended a being from another dimension
>Though you had been rather wary of him at first he had grown on you
>And then he had grown on both you AND Luna, so much so that a day didn't go by where the three of you didn't spend some time together
>One day, in the privacy of your room, Luna had confessed to having feelings toward this being
>>
>>27461220
>After some soul searching, and a sleepless night or two, you had found that you had those feelings as well
>It had taken MONTHS for the two of you to work up the courage but you had asked him out on a date
>He had said yes, and as expected it had gone swimmingly, and the rest was history
>...
>You even remembered the look on Anon's face as both you and Luna had gotten down on your knees and offered him the dong ring that he still wore proudly around his neck
>But no discussion about who was going to be the alpha...
>"We were the one that first began to court our husband, Tia," Luna growled. "Many a night both he and I spent the night gazing up upon mine stars, with him tucked underneath our wing."
"Luna, it's just a piece of pa--"
>"We were also the one that went out and selected the ring--"
"We both went out and got that ring, sister. Now if you would just--"
>This was the moment that Twilight decided to once again poke her head up from the table
>Bad idea filly
>Luna's eyes instantly snapped over toward her
>"Twilight Sparkle! I recall that thou were present during our courtship!"
>Twilight tried to hide under the table once more but Luna simply lifted her bodily into the air with her magic and floated her over to the two of you
>"Tell us, which one of us deserves to be the alpha in our herd. Speak! Before we boop thee to senselessness!"
>Booping?
>Now that's going just a bit too far
"Luna, please, you know that I don't see you as any less than me," you say, taking Twilight into your magic and gently putting her down. "And you know that Anon loves both of us with all of his heart."
>Luna looked at you with a frown but you simply smiled at her
"If I would have known that you felt so strongly about this I would have sat us all down and we could have talked it ou--"
>>
>>27461246
>"Thou art a fat-flanked filly with lop-sided teats and if thou weren't our sister and herdmate we would lay our hooves upon thee if we had ever gazed upon thee walking down the street."
"Luna--"
>"We art also a better lover than thee. And our tuft looks bigger and more fuller than thine."
"..."
>"..."
"..."
>"Thou also smell."
>Your eye twitched as Luna poked you in the chest, her eyes narrowed
>By now your lizard brain was telling to you smack a filly
>Smack dat filly HARD
>You were the alpha; you NEEDED to defend your title and position
>There was a reason that you got first dibs on Anon's cock whenever your BIG human decided to give the two of you some sweet, sweet loving
>You were the biggest, you were the strongest, you were the coolest and best and toughest
>And you didn't afraid of anything
>ANYTHING...
>Both you and Luna looked over at Twilight, who gulped
"Twilight," you said as calmly as you could. "Could you please be a dear and go to the kitchen and get some vegetable oil? I don't understand what's gotten into my sister but I believe that a show of force may be in order."
>Both you and Luna gazed into each other's eyes
"And YOU smell, you smelly smelly butt."
>I'mgonnahavetoslapafillykeepmuhpimphoofstrongponyJesus.jpg
>>
>>27461266
>Be Anon
>"My lord."
>To be more precise you were Prince Anonymous, Lord of the Keklands, Shitter of Posts, Big Poppa, His Holiness, the First of your Name
>"My lord, PLEASE. Ponies are probably looking for you by now. They're probably looking for ME now."
>You were tired
>VERY tired in fact
>At that moment you were sitting in a room that you had commandeered
>That room which, only a few days before, had been perfectly cleaned was now a mess
>Papers coated the walls and the floors
>Candy wrappers and plastic bottles were scattered throughout the room
>Furniture had been smashed and scattered around the room and there was a mattress on fire near the broken window
>It had been three days since you had last slept and you've barely eaten
>"Lord Anonymous! I know that you're--"
"Shut up, Raven."
>"But--"
"Shush! I'm almost fucking done you pushy little horse!"
>Yawning hugely, you scratched the stubble on your chin as you scanned the papers on the table in front of you
>Though, to the untrained eye, everything there might have looked like chaos, there was a method to your madness
>Formulas led to theories which led to answers which solved problems which created more formulas and....
>Yep, you finally did it!
>Smiling, you quickly placed all of the papers, the hundreds and hundreds of papers, into a series of piles
"Alright, I think I got it."
>It had all started out pretty innocently
>After taking a look at your wife's tax forms you had wanted to see how the Equestrian tax system worked
>You didn't think it was going to be that difficult, all you needed to do was contact the Equestria Tax Registry and ask a few questions
>Was it a little overboard asking them and not just reading a book?
>Maybe
>But you were married to the two toppest ponies of the land, so you figured you could get away with it
>So you had sent the letter
>>
Why did Luna want to be the new alpha?
>>
>>27461308
>And then you had received a thick document "explaining" the Equestria tax system, it's governing system and even Equestrian economics as a whole
>And by explaining it you meant that it actually did shit all in telling you anything
>It wasn't that you were dumb, you liked to think that you were pretty smart actually, the problem that the taxing system, how the government got its money, even the economics of this little kingdom MADE. NO. GODDAMN. BUTT-FUCKING. SENSE
>THERE WAS ZERO UNEMPLOYMENT BUT THERE WASN'T ANY HYPERINFLATION!
>AND HOW DID A KINGDOM THIS ADVANCED CONTINUE TO USE THE BARTERING SYSTEM?!
>EQUESTRIA HAD COMPANIES FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!
>AND DID YOU KNOW HOW TAXES WERE ISSUED?!
>YOU WEREN'T PUT IN A BRACKET DEPENDING ON HOW MUCH YOU EARNED THAT YEAR!
>THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A BULLSHIT MEDIEVAL SYSTEM THAT SCREWED THE LOWER CLASSES OVER!
>IT JUST SEEMED THAT YOU COULD PAY WHAT YOU FUCKED WANTED WHENEVER YOU FUCKING WANTED!
>AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO GET INTO HOW THE GOVERNMENT FINANCED ITSELF!
>IT WAS SO BULLSHIT THAT YOU BEAT YOUR HEAD AGAINST THIS TABLE WHEN YOU FUCKING READ IT!
>IT WAS BULLSHIT!
>IT WAS THE BIGGEST BULLSHIT!
>IT WAS THE BULLSHIT TO END ALL OF THE BULLSHIT!
>WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS? GREECE?!
>Everything was nonsense, everything was done in a seemingly nonsensical way
>Which was bad when your wive's were the rulers of a nation run like this
>You might not have been a genius, but you had taken some economics classes on high school, and you had some common sense, so, rolling your sleeves up, you had decided to do something about... THIS
>And, though it was the roughest of rough drafts, you think you had something to both reform the tax system AND the government itself
>All you needed to do was show this to one of your wives and the rest would be history
>Equestria would probably see an economic boom, you'd probably get a statue and a blowjob, and you'd be able to pat yourself on the back for a job well done
>Probably
>>
>>27461363
>You weren't an economists by any means
>But still...
>Good feels mang
>You grunted as you stood up, nearly every bone in your body popping
>You turned around to see Celestia's personal assistant, Raven, a mare who you may or may not have kidnapped so she could help you with all of this bullshit
>Just like you Raven looked frazzled and exhausted
>Her coat was mattered and dirty, her red-rimmed glasses were crooked and her mane was a mess
>Aw...
>Little pone needs some sleep
>You yawned hugely, stepping away from the table and making your way toward the little assistant
>Scratch that, BOTH of you needed some shuteye
>Maybe more than some
>Raven's horn glowed as you made your way toward her
>A coffee mug filled with water appeared in your hand
"Thank you, Raven," you said, nudging her
>Raven sighed
>"So are you finally finished with this nonsense, my lord?" she asked, irritated
"When I get into the history books I'll make sure there's a footnote with your name on it," you promised, patting her on the head
>Raven snorted again, following you to the door
>"I still don't understand why you though this was so important..."
>And that is why you're not going to have a statue erected in your honor, little horse
>Heh, erect...
>...
>Holy fuck are you tired...
>You opened the door and stepped through it, leaving Raven to bring up the rear
>You could hear the littlest assistant locking the door with her magic
>Which was good since you didn't want any of the little maids going in there and ruining all of your hard, hard, HARD work
>...Fucking maids...
>They were almost as bad as the bird horses...
"Alright, I want you to get some rest, Raven," you said, taking a sip of your water as the two of you turned the corner. "We'll sleep for a couple of hours and then we'll go and get--"
CRASH!
>You don't move as a slab of rock, bigger than you head, whizzes past you, hitting your coffee mug and shattering it into a million pieces and leaving only the handle intact
>>
>>27461387
>Raven, with a yelp, dove behind you, covering her head
>...
>You looked down at what was left of your coffee mug, your beyond tired mind trying to piece together what just happened
>You looked back at where the rock had sailed off to, and then you looked down at Raven
"... Are we under attack?" you asked. "Is someone sieging Canterlot? Or is there just some criminal on the loose that likes to throw rock--"
>"YEAH! BUCKING GET HER!"
>"SHOW THAT FILLY WHO'S BOSS!"
>"IT'S THE SUPER POWERS, FILLY! THE SUPER POWERS ARE RUNNIN' WILD!"
>"WHOO! THERE'S NOTHING THAT I LOVE MORE THAN SEEING TWO MARE WRESTLIN'... NO H-HOMO..."
>You blinked, looking down the hall
>About thirty feet away from you were about fifty or sixty ponies all crowded around what looked like a hastily drawn circle
>Noble, maid and guard alike were there, some of them exchanging bits, many screaming and cheering, every single one of them staring at what was going on in that little circle
>"Urgh! Your pony's elbow feels like getting hit with a puff of air, sister!"
>Ooooo yeah! Thy smack talk is as inferior as thy backside, sister! Can you smell what we art brewing?!"
>In the circle were both of your wives
>Celestia was wearing a pair of thick-rimmed sun glasses and a headband that said Sunomania
>Luna was also wearing thick-rimmed, black sun glasses and a headband, but she was also wearing a shirt that had the sleeves ripped off it of along with a fake beard
>Both of them were circling each other, their chests puffed out and their wings flared
>All around them, not just in the circle but the walls and even the ceiling had had chunks ripped out of them
>"You better watch, little sister, 'fore Sunomania runs wild on you!" Celestia snarled, lunging forward so fast that she was a blur
>The ground underneath Luna's hooves cracked as she met her big sister's charge, grappling with her
>"Thou cannot best us, sister! We art a super power! Ohhhhh yeah! Prithee feast upon a hunk of processed meat!"
>>
>>27461413
>Your eye twitched as the sister's battered each other with their wings, using the kind of force that would kill a normal pony, both of them neighing and whinnying
>"WE SHALL BE THE ALPHA, SISTER!"
>"THE ONLY THING YOU'RE GOING TO BE IS A BUTT, SISTER! WHICH YOU ALREADY AR--"
>You loudly cleared your throat
>Since, over the years that you have been living at the castle, you had mastered the art of throat-clearing the noise carried over the screaming crowd to the ears of every single little horse in attendance to... whatever this was
>In the blink of an eye everything went silent and still
>Celestia and Luna, both still clenching each other, looked up
>The crowd, which had been betting like they had money to burn, slowly turned to stare at your frowning, arm-crossing self
>"...Oh bucking horse apples," a mare muttered
>You ignored that, making your way over toward both of your wives, both of whom stood there frozen like a pair of colorful deer in headlights
>The crowd quickly parted for you, which was good
>They were going to get into trouble, since they had been egging on all of this destruction, but at least they had the common sense not to block your path
>Your wives, now all nervous smiles, quickly untangled themselves from one another and stood side-by-side as you loomed over them
>"B-Beloved, it warms our heart t-to see thee upon--"
"What's going on here?"
>Out of the corner of your eye you saw Twiggles, who was wearing a referee's outfit of all things, trying to disappear into the background
>Naha
>Brushing past your wives, you make your way toward the littlest princess
"Twilight, get your purple butt over here."
>Twilight froze, her eyes darting to and fro
>"O-Oh, hello, Anon," she said, sweating loudly. "H-How's it going?"
>Her eyes drifted past you toward her fellow alicorns
>You tsked
"Hey, hey, hey, don't you look at them," you said, shaking your head as you squatted down.
>>
>>27461083
He cums on her collar before a show. She gets a thrill of having is jizz so close to her in front of hundreds/thousands of ponies.
>>
>>27461430
"Those two over there aren't going to do a goddamn thing."
>You placed your hands on Twilight's withers
>Noticing that she was shaking slightly, you gave them a squeeze
>Now's not the time for fear, little horse
>That comes later
>"Now, Twilight, I want you to look me in the eye and tell me wha--"
>"CelestiaandLunawerefighingtoseewhowasgoingtobecomethealphaofyourherd!"
>Every little other little horse in the hallway groaned as you smiled, patting Purple Nurple on the cheek
>"Sister's before mister's, Princess Sparkle. SISTER'S BEFORE MISTER'S!"
>You stood up, brushing yourself off
"I'll make sure to tell Clockwork that the next time that I see him, Swiffer. And I'm sure he'd LOVE to hear that you were here making bets like this."
>The mare in question flinched, a panicked look on her face
>"Oh bucking horse apples," she muttered, doing her best to sink back into the crowd. "Clocky's gonna KILL me..."
>You once again made your way over to your two wonderful, loving wives, both of whom were sweating just as loudly as Twilight had been
"Where the hell did you guys did you even get these clothes?" you asked, tugging at their torn and ruined garments. "And did you guys pour baby oil all over yourselves again?"
>"...We used vegetable oil," Luna muttered, looking down at the ground. "We thought that it would be easier to remove from our coats after I had achieved my hard-earned victory."
>Celestia's eyebrows shot up her face and she opened her mouth, but you silenced that filly with a look, making her look down at the floor just like her lil' sis
>Both of them were dirty, bits of rock and dust covered their bodies
>You could already see bruises starting to form all over there bodies
>To make matters worse Celestia was sporting one hell of a shiner and Luna had some blood coming out of her mouth
>...
>...It was going to take forever to get that oil out of their fucking coats...
>Making a face, you knelt down, tearing off a bit of your shirt
>>
>>27461469
"For Christ's sake, stop looking like a pair of kicked puppies. Come over here and let me look at you."
>Your wives did as they were told, allowing you to clean them up as best as you could with the rag in your hands
>"...We can fix all of this up with magic," Celestia muttered
"I don't give a shit about all of this fucking damage," you snapped, whipping the blood from Luna's muzzle. "What I do give a shit about is you two thinking that it fucking matters who's the alpha or not, and I most certainly give a shit about you two kicking the shit out of each other."
>Both of the sisters look thoroughly shamed this point, but you still decided to drive your point home
"You two know that I love you both to bits no matter who's alpha or who's a fucking omega or whatever the shit."
>Still making a face, you pulled them both into a hug
>You could feel your dong ring, which was on a necklace, press against your chest as you did this
"Now... I know that I should say something else, something about this being a life lesson, but I haven't slept in three days and I am VERY tired, so you're gonna have to figure out the rest yourself."
>Giving them both a squeeze, you stood back up, crossing your arms
>Both Celestia and Luna squirmed under your gaze, looking at each other
>"...We apologize, sister. We do not know what we were thinking challenging thee in such a manner."
>"No, no, you had every right to be angry at me, Luna. I should have recognized that something like this would mean a lot to you and should have taken the appropriate steps."
>"Nay, tis our fault. Court had been most trying lately and when we saw that document we unjustly lost our temper with thee."
>Both of the sister's looked at each other, quickly hugging
>"I love you, sis."
>"Thy affections are wholeheartedly shared, Tia."
>The crowd aw's as the two sister's nuzzled each other before breaking their hug, smiles now on their faces
>Even you couldn't help but smile a bit
>>
>>27461507
>Shit was cute yo
>"If it really means that much to you, Luna, I'd be more than happy to step down and let you take the mantle of alph--"
>With a smile still on your face, you place your hands on their silly heads, just above their horns
"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that whole alpha thing, my dears. Raven? Could you come over here for a second?"
>The crowd of ponies once again parts as Raven, who looked like she didn't want to be there even a little bit, quickly made her way toward you
>The mare's horn glowed, and with a pop a notepad and a quill appeared by her side
"Could you write it down that from now on the alpha to the Royal Herd of Canterlot is Anon. E. Mous please?"
>Both Celestia and Luna's eyes widened
>"Anon, sweetheart, you can't-eep!"
>Both of the sister's sucked in a mouthful of air as your hands found their way toward their ears and gave them a firm tug
>"As you will my lord," Raven said, scribbling down your words. "But I have a feeling that the House of Lady's might have issue with that."
"I play putt-putt golf with every one of those mares stallions on Tuesdays," you said, giving her a look. "Trust me, no one's gonna say a damn thing."
>In fact, you had a feeling that the fellas were going to get a kick out of this when you told them, especially Fancy
>The stallion had one hell of a sense of humor, though he was pretty shit a golf
>Tapping her quill against her notepad, Raven closed it and stuffed it into her invisible horse pockets
>"I'll make sure that the House of Lady's sees this by the end of the day, my lord."
>Giving your mares ears another firm tug, making them yelp again, you smiled
>"Fantastic!"
>Letting go of Celestia and Luna's ears, you walked over to one of the little guards and plucked the helmet off of their heads
>>
>>27461527
"Now to deal with all of you!" you chirped, looking out at the crowd
>As one, the crowd took a few steps back, but not a single one of them ran
>Which was good
>For them
"Now I saw you all making bets while my wives beat the hell out of each other," you say, your tone gaining a bit of an edge to it. "Since you ALL have so much money to just toss around how about you all get in line and donate all of the proceeds go to an Anonymous charity?"
>A frown comes to your face when not a single little pone stepped forward
>...
>Alrighty then...
>It looks like you have to be a little more BLUNT
"Get your furry asses over here and put all of your bits into the helmet or I'm gonna eat the lot of you."
>THAT lit a fire under the little horses asses, all of them hurrying to get into line to dump their bits into the helmet that you stole
>You turned back toward your wives, both of which looked a hell of a lot more nervous than they had a second ago as the rubbed their ears
"After I get all of these bits I'm going to go to sleep until about eight or nine tonight. After that I'm going to get up, take a bath and get something to eat," you told them
>You once again turned back toward Raven
"Raven, what time is it now?"
>Raven looked out of one of the broken windows toward the sun
"... About twelve o'clock, my lord" she guessed
>You nodded
"Fantastic. Now, BOTH of you have eight hours to clean ALL of this up. After THAT both of you are going to go down to go down to Donato's--you're not going to send someone else down you're going to do down YOURSELVES-- and you're going to get a couple pies and a dozen bottles of pop. Do you understand?"
>Your wives flinched at the sharpness of your tone, quickly and frantically nodding
>"Y-Yes dear."
>"Of course, b-beloved. Please twist o-our teats no longer. W-We beg thee."
>You smile once more,tossing the now bit-filled helmet at Twilight, who, with a yelp managed to catch it
>>
>>27461545
"Great! We'll make a date of it! Twilight, you can come too if you want!"
>Walking over, you kissed both of your mares on their cheeks before walking past them
>Rolling her eyes, Raven followed you
"I'll see you ladies later tonight!"

>Be Twilight
>A pin drop could have been heard as everypony watched prince Anonymous turn the corner with what you assumed was his assistant now
>As far as you could tell nopony was even BREATHING
"...Princess?" you whispered, leaning toward your old teacher
>Celestia, looking as nervous as you've ever seen her, leaned toward you
>"Yes my student?"
>You looked down at the helmet of bits in your hooves, then up at where the prince just was
>"My teats hurt," you told her
>Both of the Celestia sisters nodded slowly, along with everypony in earshot
>"Don't worry, my dear student," your old teacher said. "My teats hurt too.
>>
>>27461555
I don't know where I was going with this but here you go.
>>
>>27461564
this is some good shit.
>>
>>27461564
loved it mang
>>
>>27461555
Was good then Anon was again unstoppable and it got a bit bland.
>>
>>27461564
Bravo.
>Luna, Celestia, and Twilight bond over their collective teat-pain while Anon sleeps
>Luna gets the idea that another horse pussy might stay Anon's teat-twisting wrath
>Just as Anon wakes up, the bedroom door opens and Twilight is unceremoniously tossed inside, pussy-first
>With centuries of practice at pony-throwing, Twlight lands square on Anon's dick
>Anon's herd increases by at least one
>>
>>27461595
But Twiggles already in a herd. So that's mean more precise mares-throwing...
>>
>>27461266
DA BIGGEST AND DA STRONGEST
>>
>>27461625
>Over the course of the next two weeks, Anon wakes up from various naps and night-sleeps to the sound of his door creaking open, a marely shout of surprise, and the sensation of something warm and wet enveloping his dick.
>It would have ended after Rainbow Dash speared herself on him (who knew she was such a post-sex cuddle bug?), but Pinkie Pie insisted on being tossed many more times.
>>
>>27461681
>After the tenth time of having ponies tossed onto his dick, Anon just rolls over and sleeps atop of the pony.
>The ponies are fine with this and engage in unmarely cuddles.
>No one would know anyway!
>>
>>27461469
>"Where the hell did you guys did you even get these clothes?
FIX IT
FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT
>>
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Something that I wanted to draw a long time ago, after that non-canon Venus test and results. Yeah, pretty "fast" work...

And who is tossing all these mares better? Lulu or Celly?
>>
>>27461804
Great work, and I agree, it would make a great scene.
>>
>>27461804
Forgot to add a photo
http://i.imgur.com/nHXIiCS.jpg
>>
>>27461804
Looking kinda long there, Chrysalis. Good, she can carry more human-changeling babies.
>>
>>27461712
>You, Pinkie Pie, sweat nervously from your position under the sexy colt's sleeping form.
>He's so vulnerable when he sleeps.
>He can't even defend himself from a night-cuddler like you.
>You tighten your soft hold around his neck and starts to nuzzle the top of his head.
>Your head swims as the familiar excitement of unsolicited cuddling fills your veins with adrenaline.
>He'll never find out.
>Nopony would EVER have to know.
>>
>>27461846
>"I can lay hundreds of eggs in a single sitting. His father will LOVE me for giving him so many grandfoals."
>>"Oh yeah? Well WE have access to the finest foods in the kingdom, ensuring that our young will never want for nutrition."
>You sigh and try to enjoy your steak.
>The waitress (complete with fake moustache) slowly creeps up on you, sweating nervously at the two arguing mares.
>>>"Y-you know, I t-took all kinds of c-c-cuddling lessons from the p-ponynet. I-I can.... I can..."
>The waitress wilts under your gaze, loosing what little confidence she had when she approached you.
>>>"I can m-make you n-nice and warm. J-just saying."
>"Oh yeah?! Well my TEATS are bigger than yours!"
>>"Thou dare?!"
>....this is stupid.
>While your date and her rival are distracted, you scoop up the tiny waitress mare and carry her home with you.
>>
>>27461555
You know, there's no raven green, like at all, much less rgre.
>>
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>>27461891
>>While your date and her rival are distracted, you scoop up the tiny waitress mare and carry her home with you.
daww
>>
>>27461906
Someone must fix that
Quickly! Toss that cute assistant too!
>>
>>27461906
OH SHIT
>>
>>27461922
Is it wrong for a colt to cuddle his daughter?
>>
>>27461804
These always make me smile.
>>
>>27461963
Yes, and no.
>>
>>27461963
Maybe. Depends if it's for sexual or not.
>>
>>27461855
>So long as you don't fall asleep you'll be just fine!
>Oh he's rubbing into your neck!
>Eheh that tickles...
>So warm and comfy...
>You'll just rest your eyes for a bit that's all.
>>
>>27462316
Not sexual in this case. He needs a lap warmer while his waifu to be and buck buggy do some oiled up werstling.
Though maybe having your filly in your lap while that happens isn't the best idea...
>>
>>27462317
>You are Pinkie Pie, and you have Anon in your mercies once more.
>Tonight, just like every night preceding it for months and months, you're gently stroking your victim's face.
>Except now a-days he cuddles you back (the thought of which makes you hot under the horsecollar)
>...and also you kiss sometimes
>....and he's absolutely aware of what you're doing
>.......and now you also sort of live in his house.
>.....
>You think you might be horsemarried now.
>>
>>27462372
If it's a stallion, then absolutely NOT for sexual. If it's Anon, then MAYBE for sexual. You know this board's obsession with incest and pregnancy. Not that that's a bad thing.
>>
>>27440725
Restrain, go to sex shop, buy the biggest dildo possible, go home, reinforce dildo with baseball bat, kill slowly, finish with decap, put on milsurp, get gun, put on horse mask, douse Harley tires with kerosene, set fire to kerosene, get on bike, drive to salt mine/circus/bestiality brothel while holding the pinnochio fucker's head up and downing three bottles of vodka, two bottles of whiskey, and three beers, run someone over, fall off bike clumsily, scream Russian obscenities, cheeki breeki, and "Blood for the blood god! Skulls for the skull throne!" repeatedly, throw head into crowd of salt-mine guards/circus guards/bestiality enthusiasts, shoot some guards/animal fuckers, cave in some skulls with dildo-bat, liberate pones, write obscenities, "SHE SUCC ME," "ANON WAS HERE," "FUCK MY BOIP00SI," and "ANON IS A FAGGOT" on the wall, go home with pones, pass out, wake up with hangover wondering why I'm surrounded by technicolor horses and covered in blood and milsurp.
>>
>>27462406
>Snuggling down under the covers you wonder to yourself if this is ok...
>Feeling the alien colt wrap his spiderhooves around you and dig into your coat makes goosebumps crawl up your skin.
>Yeah, yeah this is alright, though you wonder if it's rape if the colt wants it?
>>
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>>27462501
Damn dude KEK
>>
>Anon was supposed to go to Las Pegasus with his buddies.
>Somehow makes it to the Crystal Empire instead.
>Anon doesn't know and proceeds to get wasted.
>Antics ensue.
>Accidentally horse-marries Cadence, courtesy of the backward ass laws in the Crystal Empire.
>Wakes up with a splitting hang-over in a hotel-suite.
>Tons of guards are looking for him, including Shining Armour.
>Assumes it's because he did a load of property damage and the like during his drunken rampage.
>Metal Gear Solid mode, go!
>>
>>27462726
Pastebin?
>>
>>27462726
"I am the tallest! I'm the tallest and that means yo have to do what I say!"
>A guard looks over at Cadence, who's going through a stack of ancient law tomes.
>"Dammit! He's right."
>>
>>27461564
You have a pastebin?
>>
>>27462726
>You are Sunny Daze, and you're... well, dazed.
>Some minotaurish-looking stallion just crashed through your orphanarium's wall and picked a fight with the lamp.
>Somehow, the lamp won.
>Reeking of Changeling Mead and nursing a black-eye, he hurls a bag of bits at your hooves.
>"Fucking casinos... damn house-edge... here, take your dirty-money!"
>Then he staggers out, punting a brick into the distance as he crossed the threshold.
>You look to the hole and then at the bag of bits.
>From the size and weight alone, there must be over three-hundred in the bag.
>Then back to the hole.
>Well, it'd be rude not to take the donation.
>Besides now you can give your orphaned charges a proper Hearthswarming celebration this year.

>You are Shining Armour, and a flying brick just came out of nowhere and conked your wife on the head.
>Looks like there'll be no nookie tonight.
>>
>>27462974
>Guess it's just you and her unconscious body tonight.
>It'll be just like collage.
>>
>>27462974
>>You are Shining Armour, and a flying brick just came out of nowhere and conked your wife on the head.
Nice aim.
>>
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>>27462991

>It'll be just like collage.
This kind of collage, Anon?
>>
>>27462974
>One of the Princesses becomes concussed and confused.
>Determines Anon is her husbando.
>???
>Profit.
>...And pant-shitting terror for Anon.

I vote Cadence, the dirty whorse.
>>
>>27452622
And none of the ponies ever realize it. Anon though, he does, but is a total bro for the DD and doesn't call him out on his shenanigans.
>>
>>27458664
>>Misread that as "Big Mac's pleasure books"
I'm glad I wasn't the only one.
>>
>>27463328
>"Princess Cadence? I'm going to ask you a couple of questions on the way to the horsepital, okay?"
>>"K-kay..."
>"Okay. How many hooves do you have?"
>>"I dun' .... f-four..."
>"Good. Who is the current leader of Equestria?"
>>" 's Aunt Celestia.... an'.... an' Auntie Woona."
"Woona? Really? Uh, very good. Who is your husband?
>>"....."
>"...Princess? I need you to stay with me."
>>"...'s Anon'mus."
>"Ver-what."
>>"M-muh husband.... tha's Anonymous."
>"....okay. What's the date?"

>Hours later, Cadence requests Anon's presence in the horsepital.
"Room 204-B, right?"
>"That's right, sir. Are you going to be okay in there by yourself."
"Yup. If you don't mind me asking, why wouldn't I be okay?"
>The doctor shuffles her papers and looks over a few forms.
>"Sometimes patients who have suffered head trauma can get violent. It might not be safe in there for you."
>You nod and go into Cadence's room.
>Meanwhile, the doctor wipes sweat from her brow, happy to have avoided another "gender sensitivity" course and two weeks unpaid leave.

>"Anonymous!"
>You're pulled from the door and into a pink and VERY affectionate embrace.
>"Nonny-wonny! Oh, I'm so happy to SEE you!"
>Many questions fill your mind, including: Who is this mare? Why is she hugging you? Is that a hoof you can feel squeezing your bum?
>The first can be answered relatively easily: She is Princess Cadence, the co-ruler of the Crystal Empire.
>The important part of that question would be that you have only ever seen her in person exactly one time, and she didn't even acknowledge you.
>The other two questions are much more important and you intend to find answers to them.
>Cadence pulls away from you and hold you out at arm's length.
>She looks at you with.... adoration?
>What?
>She closes her eyes and gooOHHH BOY HOWDY THAT IS A HORSE TONGUE IN YOUR MOUTH
>SLAM
>The door crashes open to reveal Shining Armour looking terribly sad.
>You really hope you aren't about to get beat up.
>>
>>27462898
I was about to ask the same, haven't been able to check on these threads for about a week now and I need to read stuff.
>>
>>27461564
That was pretty fun as always LaP.

Did you ever wrote that epilogue to the butt contest story some Anons where asking for?
>>
>>27463501
>>You're pulled from the door and into a pink and VERY affectionate embrace.
That sounds pretty nice. I wouldn't mind a cozy story where Cadance WASN'T a cunt.
>>
>>27463501
m-more?
>>
>>27463632
Seconded.
>>
>>27462898
>>27463542
its LAP
you really must be new here

http://pastebin.com/u/LoveandPowerlifting
>>
>>27463501
>Shining Armour sways on his feet as he witnesses Cadence break away from your mouth.
>>"C-candy vag?"
>Cadence bears her teeth and glares at Shining.
>"ExCUSE me?! That is 'Princess Cadence' to you. Not... not 'candy vag'. Just who are you, sir?"
>Wait, what does she MEAN who is he?
>....Uh-oh.
>UH-OH.
>Shining looks at you desperately, seemingly not grasping the situation just yet.
>>"Anonymous? Anon, buddy, what-"
>Once again, the pink terror interrupts.
>"That's PRINCE Anonymous to you, colt."
>Okay, you're pretty sure this has gone on far enough.
"L-listen, hey, wow."
>You squirm and wriggle and manage to free yourself just a few inches from Cadence's embrace.
"I can see my work here is done. I'm going to get out of here and let you two work out your differences, okay?"
>Cadence needs to figure a few things out with her husband.
>The most important of which is Shining Armour's status as husband.
>Cadence doesn't agree; she magically tugs you back into her arms and gives you a kiss on the head.
>Shining Armour grits his teeth and glares at you with the intensity of ten spiteful, catty stallions.
>>"You step away from my wife, PRINCE Anonymous, before I-"
>His first mistake was taking an aggressive step towards you.
>Cadence sends a pillow flying and hits Shining Armour SQUARE in his face.
>"N-no! Guards! Guards, remove the white stallion from my room!"
>No need to bring race into this, Cadence.
>Ten guards burst through the door to apprehend Shining.
>Six more slide out from a bunch of hospital beds
>Four more leap out from behind some curtains
>One removes a lamp shade from her head and replaces it with a helmet
>Without pause, they (gently) grapple Shining Armour and escort him from the room.
>There's a long, awkward silence where you just sort of... lay on top of Cadence.
"Cadence?"
>Cadence sniffles and hugs you close.
>"Yes, love?"
>Oh boy.
>>
>>27463772
"Listen to me: You've had an accident and you've suffered a head injury."
>"I know; they told me all about the brick."
>Oh thank god. This saves you trying to convince her that she's not well.
"I am not your husband; we are not in love and we never married."
>Cadence gasps and lifts you up to look her in the eye.
>"How could you SAY that, Nonnies?! Of COURSE we love each other!"
>She lowers you down onto her lap and wraps an arm around you while she warms up her horn.
"W-wait! The doctor said you aren't supposed to use magic!"
>Cadence hmphs.
>"What do doctors know, anyway?"
>Wow.
>"Here, I'll PROVE it: this spell judges compatibility and returns a number as a percentage."
>She nuzzles your head and fires off a spell.
>"Remember? We scored a solid 78%."
>DING
>You look up at the floating number in the air.
>93%
"What."
>You sit there, stunned.
>Cadence, however, is thrilled.
>"Wow! Look at that! We've gotten even CLOSER since we got married!"
>This is bad.
>This is VERY bad.

dinner time? dinner time.
>>
>>27463783
>Anon must not convince Cadence that he is, in fact, not her horsebando.
>Shining inadvertently sabotages Anon's attempts by being passive-aggressive and spiteful.
>Typical colt, amirite?
>Shining gets his wife back
>Cadence gets her memory back
>Anon may or may not fuck Cadence
>>
>>27463880
must now convince**
>>
>>27463765
Nah, I just never got LaP's pastebin before, I always had net and was able to read daily. Then I had no net for a week due to a construction failure in my neighbor's yard.
>>
>>27463880
>You point to Shining Armor handing out bits to school children.
>They run over to a nearby market stall and start buying themselves lunch.
"See? See!? Look at the kind and generous husband you married!"
>Cadence looks impressed.
>Shining Armor speaks up.
>>"Alright foals, now take this paint and and paint all over the human's house, okay?"
>Cadence sighs and walks away.
>God-dammit, Shining.
>>
>>27463880
This! Anon tries to convince her, but Shining self-sabotages.
>>
>>27463772
I'm suddenly feeling really sorry for Shining right now.
>>
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>>27463783
>>DING
>>You look up at the floating number in the air.
>>93%
>"What."
kek
>hfw
>>
>>27464143
>Anon tries not to cuck Shining

>"Honey, it's time for bed~"
>Cadence had insisted that you share a bed with her.
>You were, after all, her "husband".
>You bat away the hoof you felt playing with your dick.
"N-not tonight, Cadence. I have a headache."
>Cadence flops into her back and crosses her forelegs.
>"You ALWAYS have a headache."
>>
>>27461564
RGRE enough/10, and I always love to see some royal herd.
Good work.
>>
>>27463783
>>27463880
>>27463983
Cuck Shining Armor, acquire pony princesses.
>>
>>27464325
>"That's why I spiked your drink with Viagra!"
>You would've done a spit-take, if youd been drinking -- holy shit!
>You're suddenly not just pitching a tent but a fucking church!
>You gulp.
>Cadence looks at you with bedroom eyes.
>...Wait, why does everything suddenly look sour, and why were you tasting blu--
>The world abruptly shifts and begins to swim, and the last thing you see before unconsciousness is your "wife's" panicked face.

>You wake up in horsepital two days later, discombobulated and still tasting blue.
>The first thing you see is Cadence's tear-streaked look of utter relief.
>...Man, she looks like shit.
>Turns out horse Viagra had "harmless" chemicals that gave you, an extra-dimensional ape, the mother of all LSD-trips.
>She still thinks you're her husband.
>Welp.
>>
Anon tries to get the Princesses to convince Cadence

> Celestia pats your shoulder comfortingly
> "Don't worry, Cadence is a very kind and sensitive mare. If nothing else, we can show her the marriage certificate she has with Shining. The law should prevent her from making a move on you then."
> Luna clears her throat
> "Actually, that might not be the case."
"...She and I are actually horse married now, aren't we."
> Moonbutt nods
> "It was a privilege bestowed upon us in the early years of our rule, to have as many stallions as we deemed necessary for the securing of succession. Alas, we had never thought to abolish the custom, though we never used it ourselves."
"Well, it sounds like I'm right and proper fucked. Thanks, ancient Equestrians."
>>
>>27464581
But what if the horsemarriage was never horseconsummated?
>>
>>27464581
>, to have as many stallions as we deemed necessary for the securing of succession
it doesnt work that way
>>
>>27464491
>>27464325
>>27464581
what is shining doing through all this?
>>
>>27464621
its a fucking story mang. don't look into it to much.
>>
>>27464642
IT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY
>>
>>27464621
The first one might be infertile. Do you want the Princesses to go all Henry VIII?
>>
>>27464632
>>what is shining doing through all this?
Catching up on painting his Hyperspace Hyperwars minis and getting in some games at the local shop. He's using this as a vacation of responsibilities.
>>
>>27464649
Here, have some chicken tendies and a blanket.
>>
>Cadence got her memory back fairly early, shes just turned off by the way Shinings acting + interested in Anon due to compatibility score & honesty
>>
>>27464690
DONT PATRONIZE MEEERRREEEEE
>>
>>27464632
being a cunt
>>
Can summer be over already?
>>
>>27464855
What's the matter specifically, dubs?
>>
>>27465006
Children running rampant in generals, I believe.
>>
>>27465164
My local school district doesn't let out for another two weeks and there was only a single day where school was delayed, so what the hell are you talking about?
>>
>>27452622
If that dog isn't named Gaspode then an opportunity would be lost
>>
>>27465244
This going to be your first summer on /mlp/?
>>
>>27465341
Second.
Why?
>>
File: image.jpg (305KB, 960x640px) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
305KB, 960x640px
>>27465334
I got that reference
>>
>>27465411
Then you should know what's coming, and why people are loathing the onset of summer.
>>
>>27465421
Last Summer I only noticed a difference in shitposting and general autism halfway into July last time. We're safe for now.
>>
New thread when
>>
>>27465451
New thread
New bread
>>27465576
>>
>>27462898
>>27463542
>>27463765
http://pastebin.com/u/lapsbin

This is the official one, though he hasn't added that latest story yet.
>>
>>27464491
>horsepital

fuck! my sides!
Thread posts: 507
Thread images: 83


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