[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Free Show | Home]

Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 518
Thread images: 128

File: M'sir.png (214KB, 1280x999px) Image search: [Google]
M'sir.png
214KB, 1280x999px
Previous thread: >>27126154

GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aoh8YH3I0q78czAnb9mt_4h5jUeCUbivFV5WhAh935U/edit?pli=1

Old CrazyRain's Stories' Archives:
http://pastebin.com/C82B4dea
>>
File: chryssielaststand.png (2MB, 1600x1400px) Image search: [Google]
chryssielaststand.png
2MB, 1600x1400px
Lots of discussion of >pic related in the last thread. While I'm hype for more Luna green, and always will be, I'm getting more hype for bughorse green.

Just how will that hookup work in light of the last few updates?
>>
>>27152075
>mfw it's not dong ring
>>
File: 316133.png (299KB, 742x1022px) Image search: [Google]
316133.png
299KB, 742x1022px
>>27152118
>>
>>27152149
>Being Chrysalis and playing sludgenoid
>That's like being German and playing tf2 medic
>>
File: 1461208163355.png (1MB, 2560x1440px) Image search: [Google]
1461208163355.png
1MB, 2560x1440px
ember cuddling when
>>
>>27152174
>Being Chrysalis and playing sludgenoid
>That's like being Jewish and playing RaHoWa kike
>>
File: never give up.jpg (131KB, 786x1017px) Image search: [Google]
never give up.jpg
131KB, 786x1017px
>>27152179
Write it faggot, that's the only way to get the story you really want.
>>
>>27152149
More like dis
>>
File: spike_sweat_by_sunibee-d7y49gy.jpg (223KB, 789x768px) Image search: [Google]
spike_sweat_by_sunibee-d7y49gy.jpg
223KB, 789x768px
>>27152179
>>27152179
>This artist's set of Ember pictures.
>>
>>27152263
>>27152179
Here >>27150266 you >>27146847 go >>27125963 friends. Enjoy.
>>
File: octavia_mlfw2837_medium.png (114KB, 640x557px) Image search: [Google]
octavia_mlfw2837_medium.png
114KB, 640x557px
>>27152146
Dong ring shall rise again!
>>
>>27152213

>Cadence turns to you.
>"Anon! Talk some sense into Shining, please! He'll listen to another colt, right?!"
>"I'm right here!"
>You, Anon, nod in agreement and turn to Shining.
"Shining, you can't shoot Cadence just because she doesn't give good head."
>"Why not?" he asks.
"Well, relationships are about equality. If you expect to get good oral, you must give good oral."
>Just like PapaNon told you all those years ago.
>His face scrunches up, "But I'd be putting my tongue inside her..." he gags, unable to finish the sentence.
>"How do you think I feel when you tell me to suck your dick?!" Cadence speaks up, wrestling the other 'Cadence' who had tried to escape.
"Fair is fair, Shining. That, and I'm pretty sure the impersonator is a changeling so unless you're into bugs...?"
>Shining shudders in disgust, "Fine."
>All in a day's work for Anon the Couples Counselor
>>
>>27152364
>You watch your ex and her doomed fiance leave the room.
>Giant gilded doors close with a sense of finality, leaving you alone with the the shapechanged 'ling.
"Three foot tongue, huh?"
>The despondent Queen perks up, and nods cautiously.
"And you can shapechange into any form?"
>Sensing a change in the wind, the Queen smiles and nods slowly but more emphatically.
"Well, if you go both ways and are down with interspecies. . ."
>"Love is love and, yes, any form."
"The wife and I are about to sit down for down for dinner. I do a mean carbonara. We should talk."
>You shrug and nod toward a smaller door near the back of the room.
>All things considered, it's probably a good thing Venus is staying the weekend in Ponyville.
>>
>>27152304
>linking mlpg
nigga
>>
>>27152549
>Anon introduces the concept of the marathon fuck session.
>>
File: 1459441812809.png (667KB, 800x800px) Image search: [Google]
1459441812809.png
667KB, 800x800px
>>27152549
>you will never fug queen bug until she has enough love to feed her entire hive
>>
File: 1437212919914.jpg (161KB, 750x947px) Image search: [Google]
1437212919914.jpg
161KB, 750x947px
>>27152741
>you will never fug queen bug until even her drones can't take any more
>>
>>27152784
>fug queen bug until shes so sensitive she squirms and writhes with every thrust
>mental feedback makes all her drones feel what shes feeling
>whole hive violently orgasming and moaning
>>
File: maxresdefault (3).jpg (64KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]
maxresdefault (3).jpg
64KB, 1920x1080px
>>27152784
>tfw Substitute Demon hasn't updated in forever.
>>
File: WHba2wS.jpg (52KB, 460x696px) Image search: [Google]
WHba2wS.jpg
52KB, 460x696px
>>27152187
>Reading the wiki entry for that game.
>>
File: image.png (180KB, 500x425px) Image search: [Google]
image.png
180KB, 500x425px
>>27152845
>tfw episode 4 of DiU is coming out tomorrow and you don't give a shit about a half-assed fic
>>
>>27152704
>"Wh-why does he not tire?"
"Our husband is not of Equestria, and his is a dominant species blessed with guile and endurance."
>Summoning your magic, you teleport two bottles filled with clear'ish solution in between you and your gasping partner.
>Your body is awash in pleasure, and not small amount of discomfort.
>Stretching until your hips pop, stars you needed that, you magically raise one bottle unscrew the lid and down the contents.
>You shout and spring off of your back onto your hooves, presenting yourself and flaring your wings.
>Chrysalis cocks a eyebrow lazily, not at all commenting on the fact that your warriors shout was a bit more bawdy and lewd than you had intended.
>"Do you always stretch after rutting? If so, tha-"
"We are not done, and you should drink and ready yourself. It is not wise to show either exhaustion or fear. It excites him."
>"Wha-"
>A blue starry aura envelops the remaining bottle and you toss it onto the Changeling Queens chest.
"Ready thyself, he shall return soon with sweets and if we are to claim victory over him tonight we must give him as little rest as possible."
>As if on cue, the massive doors to your bed chamber open admitting your husband.
>"The kitchens were out of ice cre--Oh, ho ho. Somebody is ready to go."
"Indeed."
>You are Her Royal Highness Princess Luna, Protector of the Moon, Defender of the Night, Oneighronaut Imperitor, Mate of Anonymous and Guardian of Venus and you will not be defeated this time.
>>
>>27152921
kek
would read a continuation
>>
File: 1460313508401.jpg (42KB, 609x640px) Image search: [Google]
1460313508401.jpg
42KB, 609x640px
>>27152906
>tfw you're not weebshit
>>
File: image.jpg (86KB, 580x813px) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
86KB, 580x813px
>>27153017
>Implying Joj is a weeb series
>>
>>27152921
>fucking what is essentially a pony succubus to exhaustion
That's an accomplishment.
>>
>>27153024
Succubus by pone standards. Chryssie would at max last 5 minutes, and that's it.
>>
>>27153021
>mfw

>>27153054 >>27153024
You're forgetting about the love. She has to process it.
>Fuck her until she is leaking honey everywhere
>Fuck her until the entire hive is leaking honey everywhere.
>>
File: 1362359738475.jpg (182KB, 817x768px) Image search: [Google]
1362359738475.jpg
182KB, 817x768px
>>27153024
>>27153054
>pair of guards hear Chrysalis' voice down one of the halls they patrol
>rush down to apprehend her before whatever nefarious plans she has can be enacted
>the door they heard her behind slams open and she comes crawling out, looking disheveled and desperate
>she spots them and gives them a pleading look
>"Don't just stand there gawking, you fools! Help me!
>they hear the human's voice within the room Chrysalis is trying to escape
"Where are you going my little lovebug? We're not done yet~"
>a hand reaches out and grabs one of Chrysalis' hind legs
>she screams and kicks and curses as she's dragged back inside, her hooves scraping against the marble floor until she's pulled fully inside and the door is slammed shut
>the two guards share troubled looks as they hear her muffled pleading through the door
>"P-Please, no more! I'm so sensitive, I can't take it anymore!"
>they both go their separate ways and pretend they never saw anything
>>
File: tumblr_niqokcOYCy1reqb6yo1_500.png (138KB, 500x308px) Image search: [Google]
tumblr_niqokcOYCy1reqb6yo1_500.png
138KB, 500x308px
>>27153021
Tell him to eat shit anon
>>
File: 1443113435744.png (229KB, 700x700px) Image search: [Google]
1443113435744.png
229KB, 700x700px
>>27153078
I want to taste changeling honey. It's probably the most delicious thing in existence.
>>
>>27153132
tell him yourself!
>>
File: darling.png (1MB, 2119x1995px) Image search: [Google]
darling.png
1MB, 2119x1995px
>>27153132
>>
>>27153128
>Anon's herd gets extra active whenever Venus is out of town
>Royal Guards fight and compete to get assigned to Venus
>Reprimanded guards are often placed on guard duty at Anons door at night
>>
File: tumblr_npma28jMjY1s2kojso1_500.png (120KB, 468x422px) Image search: [Google]
tumblr_npma28jMjY1s2kojso1_500.png
120KB, 468x422px
>>27153017
>>27153159
>>
>>27153192
>except for that weird guardmare that always requests a post at anons door
>she gets latrine duty
>>
>>27152179
I like that pic, far more than I probably should.
>>
File: 1460835299139.jpg (186KB, 600x524px) Image search: [Google]
1460835299139.jpg
186KB, 600x524px
>>27153466
They both look so comfy and happy.
>>
File: cuddle5.jpg (344KB, 1040x1079px) Image search: [Google]
cuddle5.jpg
344KB, 1040x1079px
This was meant to be a kind of cozy little story, but I slept something like 4 hours last night and I'm writing by the seat of my pants. Short term memory = no.
---------------------

>BEEP BEEP BEEP
>You're still getting used to Rarity's little quirks.
>You wouldn't think it if talked to her for almost any length of time, but Rarity has a mischievous streak a mile wide.
>For all the time you'd spent with her, it took you almost three entire months to figure out that you had been getting angry at Sweetie Belle for no reason.
>You had to pretend to be Sweetie's coltfriend for a school event to make it up to her.
>According to her and the rest of the crusaders, you'd made a filly named "Diamond Tiara" VERY jealous that day.
>Case in point: the kettle.
>Rarity made it so that instead of whistling at you, it beeped loudly.
>That little trick was what convinced her to let you "in the know", so to speak.
>The first time she sprung it on you, you'd knocked over the kettle in shock and managed to get a bunch of minor burns all over your hands.
>Rarity felt TERRIBLE about it and insisted that she took care of you.
>Part of you honestly wanted to believe that she was doing it because she wanted to maintain her "gentlemare" imagery.
>A much bigger part of you; the one that had spent months and months becoming one of Rarity's closest friends, knew better.
>But back to the present.
>The milk's been heated up to the perfect temperature for hot chocolate, and you waste no time bringing it into the adjacent room.
>Rarity was sitting, shivering under a heavy blanket.
>Winter had hit hard this year.
>Lucky for your friend, you were bigger and warmer than she was.
>More importantly, you had a much smaller surface area to volume ratio, meaning that you would freeze to death much slower than they would.
>With that morbid thought set aside, you sit on the couch and hand Rarity her steaming mug of chocolate.
>>
File: cuddle3.png (50KB, 1400x1050px) Image search: [Google]
cuddle3.png
50KB, 1400x1050px
>>27153514
>"Th-th-thank you, d-darling," she forces out, teeth chattering and forehooves shaking, "Y-you know j-j-just what I l-like."
>The fireplace has only been lit for a few minutes, meaning that it's still freezing in here.
>You know what to do.
>You've ALWAYS known what to do.
"Say, Rarity?"
>Muzzle deep in her mug, she turns her head to look at you.
"You wanna..." you pat your thigh enticingly, "...hop up?"
>"A-and sit on a c-colt?"
>Rarity looks aghast at such a suggestion.
>"P-PLEASE, Anonymous. I'm a m-m-mare. W-worry about yourself, darling."
>She looks down at her thick blanket and then looks back up to you.
>Conflict is clear in her eyes.
>"In fact, why don't YOU t-take the blanket, d-dear? I'll be f-f-fine."
>She tries for a suave expression, but it just comes off looking oily and insincere.
>Reluctantly, Rarity magically parts with her most immediate source of heat and levitates it to drape over your shoulders.
>She's left a shivering mess.
>Oh, the mare ego.
>Rarity is a silly pony.
>For all her talk of "gentlemare" this, and "muh sandy trees" that, she's never actually been with a colt before.
>She tries so hard to hide that little detail from her friends, but you were a big enough loser back on Earth to recognize the signs yourself.
>With a sigh, you grip Rarity under her armpits and heft her up into the air.
>Sure, she shouts protests NOW, but she'll thank you in just a moment.
>You bring your feet up off of the floor and cross your legs where you sit, and deposit your small cargo directly onto your new lap-nest.
>Once Rarity is securely in place (read: held down with one hand so that she doesn't hop off of your lap), you take the thick blanket and cover yourself and Rarity with it, pulling it up your chest until just her head is poking out of her high thread-count prison.
>>
File: cuddle1.png (67KB, 871x556px) Image search: [Google]
cuddle1.png
67KB, 871x556px
>>27153523
>"R-really, Anonymous! Was that necessary? Oh, what would the mares think if they saw me now? Too pathetic to take care of herself, relying on her coltfriend to tend to her needs!"
>She presses her back into your chest with the excuse of pretending to faint.
>She's so warm and soft.
>For all her protests, Rarity makes no real effort to get off of you. In fact, she....
>.....
>....wait, coltfriend?
"Coltfriend, eh?"
>The little white muffin in your lap tenses up, and you can fell her heartbeat quicken.
>"W-well, Anonymous.... I... Oh, dear."
>You respond by hugging her from behind and nuzzling her purple mane.
"Tell me more about this 'coltfriend' of yours, Rares. What's he like?"
>"He... he, uh..."
"I'll bet he's nice and warm. If he's going to be tending to you, he needs to function properly as a pillow; wouldn't you think?"
>"I... suppose so, dear," replies Rarity, quickly regaining her composure, "Warm and soft and perfect for cuddling into."
>Like a cat, Rarity lifts her head to accept and return your persistent nuzzles.
"Mmmm. I'll bet he wouldn't mind keeping you warm."
>"No?"
>She grips your arms with her forehooves, holding you possessively against her barrel.
"Not even a little bit."
>"I-I would certainly HOPE not, dear. Cuddling is what special someponies do frequently, right?"
>The "right" sounded quite unsure, so you gently squeeze her.
"Every chance he'd get."
>You are Anon, and that's about as close to an ending as you're going to get being as sleep deprived as I am.

The End
>>
btw good stuff in this thread so far, Anons. I'm liking the ponies trying to out-fuck what is essentially a succubus.
>>
>>27153590
Damn Pluggo, back at it again with the dank greens.
>>
>>27153625
The dankest. 420 blaz-fuck. Off by one day.
>>
>>27153523
>"muh sandy trees"
kek
>>
File: 1459284315164.jpg (46KB, 472x541px) Image search: [Google]
1459284315164.jpg
46KB, 472x541px
>>27153531
hhhnggg
>>
File: not like this.jpg (28KB, 625x406px) Image search: [Google]
not like this.jpg
28KB, 625x406px
bump
>>
File: Karma at it's finest.jpg (1MB, 1944x2436px) Image search: [Google]
Karma at it's finest.jpg
1MB, 1944x2436px
>>27154176
You have to bump with style, like using a relevant image.


Also, to whoever drew this, this wasn't how I imagined her cutie mark, it's better than what I had imagined
>>
>>27154324
i cant even tell what it is
>>
>>27154368
Two hearts in a hula hoop.
>>
>>27154658
That's a pretty adorable mark.
>>
>>27154759
it really is
>>
You know, I gotta ask: how has she stayed hidden and/or not being seen as a big deal? There are less than 5 alicorns in the world; shouldn't that be enough to get a bunch of people to be at least asking Anon and her some questions?
>>
>>27154835
Pones are not known for being terribly clever.
>>
>Anon is sick of the matriarchy in poneland
>Spends all of his bits to travel to Amareica for democracy
>Turns out everything there is set a few centuries back as well
>Stallion suffrage is nonexistant
>Pones there hella racist, too
>Anon lives as an indentured servant under a mare
>>
File: 1461289643243.png (763KB, 1998x1327px) Image search: [Google]
1461289643243.png
763KB, 1998x1327px
>>27153466
I suppose you'll like this too?
>>
>>27154987
>the mare is Aryanne, the local ponice commissioner
>>
>Mare is in an abusive relationship
>Has called the ponice after her husband attacked and injured her
>Was arrested after her husband told them that he had felt like he was in danger and "pre-emptively defended myself"
>Mare spends the night in prison
>A week later, the same thing happens
>Mare does not call ponice
>Mare goes to hospital and says that she fell down the stairs
>Mare eventually divorces husband to escape abuse
>Husband cries in the courtroom
>Mare loses the house she paid for & custody of the children
>Mare lives in shitty apartment that she can barely afford
>Sends money each month that her husband spends on fashion instead of the children
>Stallionists rejoice

realistic RGRE when?
>>
>>27155092
Never I should hope.
>>
>>27155092
No fun in reading that, unless you're some sort of extreme masochist.
>>
>>27155092
MGTOW (Mares going their own way) when?
>>
>>27155112
This. I come here to escape real life not experience it.
>>
>>27155092
>Mare finally runs out of funds and is now homeless
>Enter Anon, who sees an unhappy pone, a rare sight
>Has her live at his place for free and help her out
>After some time, she confesses her past life
>Anon is enraged at the atrocities and decides to pay the stallion "a visit"
>All of the teeth is knocked out, and the stallion missing one ear
>Mare is conflicted over the change in her life, and furiously masturbates over how much of a beta she has been for both colts
>>
Whwre's the part where husbando rapes a filly, gets her pregnant, takes the newborn foal for himself, and then years later makes her pay for all the child support she missed out on b/c she was a tiny child horse?
>>
>>27155150
>Anon enters court
>Stallion starts to cry and play victim again
>He has just activated Anon's trap card
>Anon uses the "different race" excuse and frames the stallion for a hate crime
>Double whammies everywhere
>Mare can't express her happiness over how much Anon has done for her
>Proclaims her love
>Anon reveals, after all this time, that he already has a marefriend on a long-distance relationship
>Mare is disappointed, but Anon gives her pity fuck and they become good buds
>Several months later, Anon discovers that his marefriend has been cheating on him with some Zebrican rapper
>More rom-com shit I can't continue writing ensues
>>
>>27155161
How about no?
>>
>>27155150
>Anon, enraged, makes his way out of his house.
>"Anon! W-wait! What are-where are you going!?"
>Anon doesn't stop to look back.
"I'm going for a walk."
>"Anon, I know what you're doing an-"
"Waifupone? I'm going for a walk."
>"PLEASE just stop for a-"
>Anon halts, turns around, and grabs waifupone by the shoulders and looks her directly in the eye.
"You don't understand, Waifupone. /I'm going for a walk./ I like going for walks and I go for walks every day at this time of the night. You know this because we're friends."
>Husbandopone later reports to the horsepital
>>
>>27155185
Is Anon Jack Black from that one movie where he was sending presents in the mail to his girlfriend who was actually in the same city and cheating on him?
>>
>>27155206
>Anon Jack Black in RGRE.
I could just imagine the whole green being like that episode from Sesame Street he appears on.
>>
>>27155206
>>27155290
Oh lord please stop this
>>
>>27155290
>Janon Black arrives in the rock/metal scene
>One of the only stallions in that genre
>Young mare metalheads everywhere get intense mareboners
>>
>>27155303
can't stop won't stop
>>
>>27155308
>Anon only sings the shit he remembers
>Mares confused over the lyrics of songs like Sharp Dressed Man
>Many assumes that he's just incorporating stallion rights into his songs
>Stallionists step in and twists the messages of his music
>Anon starts entire controversies each new album
>>
>>27155345
>"Alright! And to all the Stallionists who have been using my music as a warcry!"
>Crowd cheers; stallions stomping their hooves as one of their spearheads addresses them
>"Quit bein' a bunch of fuckin' pussies! Now who wants to hear some music?!"
>>
>>27155199
when did alucard get to equestria
>>
>>27154324
Thanks, but what exactly you imagined then?
>>
>>27155418
>A roar runs through the sea of pones as Back in Black begins to play
>>
So there was talk of a musician Anon before, and sort of talk about it just a little bit ago. This segment and probably the one I post next time is more of a lead up to musician Anon that lays down the groundwork for the rest of the story.

>Your eyelids resist you for every little bit that you pry them apart.
>In the end they have lost and you have won.
>Though the spoils of war are pretty spoiled in your opinion.
>You're awake.
>Well physically anyway.
>Thoughts feel fuzzy and disconnected.
>You feel worry building in your heart.
>When your hand buries itself into a soft fuzzy warmth, you can feel yourself calming down.
>You grab again and realize you're gripping Vinyl's flank.
>She jostles slightly, nudging her back against yours.
>You release her and start to roll, turning around to face the young mare curled up, back formerly against you.
"Vi" you grumble with the first use of your voice of the day.
>Her ear flicks.
>You dig a hand into her back and push on her gently.
"Hey, Vinyl, wake up" you command with a voice that sounds closer to your own.
>She makes a raspy noise in her throat, she rolls her head up, two-tone blue mane parting with gravity's help.
>She creaks open one eye, the crimson orb looking at you with displeasure.
"Don't give me that look, c'mon, you gotta go" you say while hooking your hands under her exposed armpit and pulling.
>She tugs her arm free and curls even further into herself.
"Look, I'm sorry I kept us up late. You know how I get when we're really jamming" you plead with her as you continue pushing into her back.
>She resists your pushing.
"But seriously, we can't afford to get busted again."
>She sinks herself further into the bed, making your hand slip down her side and dropping onto her.
>She jumps from the sudden pressure, allowing you to snake your arms around her
>You take her surprise for your advantage and hoist her up off the bed
>You groan as you pull her up and half drag half carry her over to the large window in your dorm
>>
>>27155526
>She starts adding her own assistance and even gives a half awake attempt to climbing through.
>She gets her upper half through before dropping her lower half on the sill.
"Oh come on, your joking is going to land us both in hot water Vi, would you just... get... OUT!" you dig your hands into her rump and push in line with your last set of words until you give a mighty shove with the last one.
>She tumbles out onto the ledge, immediately reacting out of fear to shuffle back against the wall.
>Vinyl whips around to glare fiercely at you.
>You start to apologize before hearing your doorknob rattle.
>Panic bursts through you and you grab Vinyl's head, much to her shock, and shove her down below where the window leaves off.
>You can feel her struggle against your effort.
>"Anonymous, breakfast is- What are you doing?" he says with the coldness you imagine a ponicemare would take when interrogating someone.
>You turn almost all the way around to face the source of your worries with as straight a face as you can muster.
>Almost all the way, so you can still keep your shaky arm hidden from his view.
"Nothing! Uh, j-just getting in some morning air... I-I find it very soothing for my throat. Y'know, every little bit I can do to prepare for tomorrow…"
>Nice Anon, really smooth.
>His scrutinizing glare lessens and the RA turns around to face out of your room, "Yes well, no amount of air will make up for loss of the most important meal of the day. If you don't hurry there will be hardly a thing left that you can eat downstairs."
"Yeah okay thanks!" you blurt out in a TOTALLY inconspicuous manner.
>He flicks an ear in your direction before leaving and shutting your door behind him.
>You let out a deep sigh.
>Followed by a yelp when you are bit on the hand.
>You release your grip on Vinyl's neck to find a your very angry very best friend glaring at you.
>You wince under her gaze.
"Sorry Vi, you know I didn't do it on purpose."
>Her glare remains the same.
>>
>>27155530
>You reach out a timid hand and gently brush her cheek.
"I- look, would you forgive me if I snag you some extra haycon?"
>Her muzzle is still scrunched but her glare drops with a roll of her eyes.
>You break out into a smile.
"Okay, I'll be back in a flash."
>You hold up your promise, loading up as much haycon as you feel able to and casually bringing it up to your room.
>As casually as you can anyway while actively ignoring the looks of disgust you get from some of the guys who live here and curiosity from the girls who are visiting the dorm cafeteria to meet with their friends.
>You set the plate of food on your bed and quickly munch down your half, leaving the hay filled food for Vinyl to come and grab when she gets back from checking on her wagon parked in a back alley near the academy.
>Looking at the clock in your room you curse how much time you have left, which is to say none, and quickly switch out of your pajamas and into your academy uniform.
>Too quickly unfortunately as you now have to stop and rebrush your stupid long mane.
>You hate having to keep appearances like this, covering the “still budding horns" that you don't have with a fluffy head of mane to keep others from asking.
>Frustrations set aside for now, you make your way from the dorms to your first class of the day.
>Music history.
>A wonderful romp through the agonizingly detailed evolution of music.
>Though it's not all bad, learning of the sexual deviancy of some of the composers you all used to regard as the pinnacles of their eras is pretty cool.
>Following that comes theory.
>You like theory usually, but this semester's teacher is unfortunately as bad as they say.
>Still, when you can force yourself to listen to her droning, you can occasionally glean something useful.
>You breathe a sigh of relief as you enter the cafeteria proper.
>The delicious smelling food just barely overpowers the ripe smelling freshmares who have yet to understand the wonderful world of deodorant.
>>
>>27155534
>Mostly you sigh because you get to see Vinyl for a little while before going back to the grind.
>In anticipation of your meeting, you load up on as much food as you're allowed.
>Again you have to actively ignore the jealous looks you get from the cafeterial staff.
>Likely wondering how you can pack away that much food and look like you do.
>You stroll out into the open gardens adjacent to the regular dining area, making small talk with some of your classmates or giving a passing wave to one of your friends.
>They know by now how you prefer to spend your lunch.
>You continue on traveling along the ornate metal fence of the garden until you reach the far back end about where the fence meets the wall of the building.
>You scan around the area beyond but find no sign of Vinyl's wagon.
>The wooden box Vinyl helped you sneak in and place here creaks as you plant yourself down on it but thankfully hasn't given on you yet.
>You set the tray of food down on your lap, hissing a little as you are reminded just how hot the macaroni is today.
>Another scan around reveals nothing you were hoping to see.
>Worry begins to churn in your stomach.
>You look down at the food.
>Or maybe that's just hunger.
>She's fine, Vinyl is totally okay.
>Probably just got wrapped up in a job and can't make it down.
>It happens sometimes.
>You open your eyes and find them still settled on the food in your lap.
>You lift up a fork and start picking away at your half of the food.
>A burp makes its way to your throat that you stifle in your mouth and blow the foul air out quietly.
>Ate a little too quickly there.
>You look over the remaining food, all of it you can't eat because of your dietary problems.
>And with Vinyl still not here...
>You walk back to the cafeteria hoping you can find someone to give this to, you know that the staff can't take the food back and you'd hate to just toss it.
>>
>>27155539
>Before you reach the cafeteria, you spy a lone mare a little younger than you with her head down on one of the benches.
>You look around, to confirm that she's actually alone before approaching.
>A cleared throat gets her attention in the form of a flicked ear in your direction.
"Excuse me? Is this seat taken?"
>Her tan ear flicks once more before the mare jumps up in her seat.
>Too quickly it seems as her poofy blue mane drops down below her eyes and she scrambles to clear her vision while also trying to look casual about it.
>You stifle a giggle for her sake as she lets out a breath and looks up at you.
>The bright amber of her eyes widen and she looks taken aback slightly.
“Uh, so, may I sit down?”
>She opens her mouth but no words come out.
>Realizing she can’t speak she slowly begins to nod her head.
>You take that as enough a plant yourself down across from her.
>She’s just kind of looking at you.
>Her poofy mane is all out of sorts and she doesn’t seem to know quite what kind of face is neutral for her.
>You notice that her uniform is baggy, and worn, like it wasn’t hers to begin with.
“Hi,” you decide to open communication, “My name is-“
>”Anonymous! Uh, I mean… I know your name, uh, it’s Anonymous.”
>Now it’s your turn to be a little taken aback.
>You let it slide quickly though.
“Right… Uh, I’m sorry I don’t know yours, or remember it if we met-“
>”Sapphire Sh-Shores! My name is Sapphire, and no, we never met officially or anything, just, I saw you at… uh, one of your performances before.”
>Ah, probably a result of some of the “optional” clubs that some of your teachers “recommended” you take and totally not on a demand from your parents who dumped a bunch of money to hide you away here.
“Sapphire, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
>But that’s not this mare’s fault.
>”Y-you too.”
>You motion to the food left on your tray and watch her eyes gain a glint of hunger in them.
>>
>>27155544
“Have you had lunch yet?”
>”Y-yes I-“
>Before she gets too far into her lie, her stomach makes a pretty fierce growl.
>You quickly speak over it and pretend you don’t notice.
“Because I think my eyes were talking a bigger game than my stomach could play and I was hoping to find someone who hasn’t eaten yet. You were saying no right?” you ask, sliding the tray over to the younger mare.
>She look down at the food and licks her lips.
>Sapphire holds out a timid hoof to the tray before pausing to take a questioning look at you.
>You smile in return and she slides the tray the rest of the way towards her.
>”Thanks” she mumbles before digging in.
>You make small conversation with her between her scarfing of food.
>Classes and teachers.
>You give her warnings for some of the ones she’s going to be taking next semester now that you have confirmed that she is indeed in a younger class.
>”So… are you nervous?”
>You quirk an eyebrow in her direction.
>This causes her to jump a little in her seat.
>You really have to work a stifling a giggle there.
>For a moment, with the color of her coat and mane, and how she reacted just like Vinyl would have, Sapphire looked like her a little there.
>”For Partnership day. I’m not even eligible yet and I feel kinda nervous.”
“Oh! Right, yeah…”
>You shrug in response after giving it half a second of thought.
“I’ll do my best, that’s really all I can do. Whatever happens I can at least be content with that.”
>Sapphire gives you the first confident smile this whole time, “Wow, you really are as impressive as I heard.”
>You both begin to blush a little at that, her more so than you though.
>”Uh well what I mean to say is… I think you’ll be able to take your pick out of any of the labels. There’s nopony around who can sing like you."
>You can’t hold back on that one and a chuckle escapes your lips.
>>
>>27155549
“Oh I DEFINITELY wouldn’t say that. Anyone could do what I can if they have rich parents… I’m nothing special.”
>What you assumed would be behind your back gossip from those you haven’t made friends with seems to come as a shock to Sapphire, "N-no way! You really do have a lot of talent, even among the ones like you, I’ve heard you perform at the scholarship ceremony.”
>Scholarship ceremony.
>That confirms your suspicion, she’s not from a rich family, she actually earned her place here.
>Hearing this makes your chest feel all hot and heavy at the same time.
>For a moment you have trouble coming up with something in response.
“W-well, thank you. That’s really very sweet of you to say… I guess if you think I do stand apart from the others 'like me’” you quotations on her phrase cause her to begin to backpedal but you speak over her to get to your point, “then, let me tell you what I think it is-”
>You lean over the table, close enough to smell the nervous sweat on Sapphire.
“-make friends that like what you do, at least one very VERY close friend. It’s easy to give up on yourself, it’s much harder to do when someone else won’t give up on you. If you have that, then I have no doubt you’ll do just as good, if not better than I can.”
>Sapphire is completely stunned.
>If you were any more egotistical you’d say it was from your sudden closeness, but you hope it’s because she’s thinking about what you said.
“Thank you for keeping me company Sapphire, I’ll see you around the academy okay?”
>Her lip quivers but she doesn’t give you any kind of actual response.
>You smile to yourself and walk back into the cafeteria proper.
>As you are closing the door behind you, you see a bunch of other younger mares rapidly approaching Sapphire’s table.
>They’re pulling her side to side, mouths running nonstop.
>>
>>27155555
>Sapphire seems to blink herself back into functioning and looks a little overwhelmed by all the sudden attention.
>You turn back and continue off to your next class when you see a small smile form on her face.
>The rest of your day passes in the usual fashion this semester has brought you.
>That is until your last class.
>If you could call it that.
>Rehearsal.
>Your vocal teacher runs you through the usual scales.
>Then asks to hear the piece you’re going to be performing at tomorrow’s Parternship Day.
>You give just as much effort needed to turn the firm line of her lips into a slightly… less firm line.
>”Very good Anonymous, perform just like this and you’ll find yourself the pride and joy of your family before tomorrow’s end.”
>Yeah, sure you will.
>A small hum catches your attention.
>Miss Doe Raymi is back to full on frowning.
>”Anonymous, you shouldn’t be showing such disrespect to the opportunity your family has granted you.”
>Opportunity?
>For who, you or them?
>”You have talent, and a good heart Anonymous.”
>Wow, that’s… actually kin-
>”A heart that is too easily swayed as well unfortunately. Your parents have invested deeply into your education and this institution because they believe in what we do, and what you can become, but your appreciation for either is very tenuous at best.”
>Aaaaaand there it is.
>”Tomorrow is a big day, certainly the biggest of your life so far and depending on how you present yourself tomorrow, the biggest of your life ever. I would keep that firmly in your mind tonight.”
>You nod and keep a neutral face if only just to get her to stop.
>Your plan seems to work as she bids you a good day and reminds you to drink plenty of water in preparation for tomorrow.
>The door to your room gives it’s usual belated creak as you open it.
>Inside you find the empty plate that you’ll have to take downstairs tomorrow morning sitting on your bed.
“Vi?”
>>
>>27155564
>As soon as you call, a pair of bright crimson eyes pop out from the other side of the bed.
>Despite expecting that, you still jump in surprise.
>Vinyl is giving you a smirk as she hops up onto your bed.
“Shut up” you growl as you drop your knees down onto the soft mattress and throw your arms around your best friend.
>Then immediately put her away at arms length when you get a whiff of her rank mane.
“Eww! Vi, did you roll around in the most rotted thing that has ever existed? Or the most dead thing that has ever stopped existing?”
>She looks herself over before raising an arm and taking a casual whiff of herself.
>She shrugs at you.
“Off my bed! Go GO!” you command while shoving her back.
>You lay down on the floor next to Vinyl.
>Well, close enough to touch her extended hoof with the back of your hand anyway.
“I missed you at lunch Vi” you state, turning to face her.
>She turns towards you with an apologetic look on her face.
“Work?”
>She nods.
>You turn back to look up at the ornate ceiling.
“Yeah I figured as much. Y’know if only both of us had a chatstone to call with, or a textbook at least so that way-“
>You can feel her annoyance seething through the little bit of contact you’re making with her.
>It really would be easier sometimes, but you understand her reluctance to get one.
>Everyone you knew back home and some of the better off students here just seem more detached when they use these things feely.
>You try to keep your use of them mostly to necessary use but it's not always easy when some of your friends come from wealthy families too.
“So what kind of work were you doing today? Construction?” you drop the goading while turning back to Vinyl.
>Vinyl, who was previously keeping eye contact with you this whole, avoids looking at you for just a moment.
>Something is up.
>She wouldn’t-
“I saw that Vinyl... You didn’t?”
>She tenses up from just your open question.
“The Grimms?!”
>>
>>27155572
>She now fully turns away from you.
>You flip over and sternly turn your full attention on her now.
“Really?! Vi, you know-“
>She quickly turns back and waves her hooves down at you.
“No big deal? NO BIG- These are The Grimms we’re talking about here Vi! THE GRIMMS!”
>She winces a little but tests your patience with a “yeah but…” look.
>You bury your face in your hands and press gently on your eyes.
>A deep sigh escapes your lips in an attempt to clam yourself down.
>They offer her the most money, you know that they do.
>There’s a very good reason that they do though.
>But… Vinyl’s not stupid, and hopefully The Grimms find her lack of voice more useless than useful.
“Just… try to keep the work with them to a minimum okay?”
>Vinyl’s head nods while turned away from you.
“Vinyl.”
>She begrudgingly turns to face you.
“Okay?”
>She caves to your weak plea and gives you a more assuring nod.
>You do feel some level of relief at that.
“I just don’t want them to make you a go-to mare for anything you know?”
>Vinyl rises to her hooves and trots over beside you.
>You tilt and fall onto Vinyl’s shoulder who wraps that side’s arm around you.
>You close your eyes and stay like this with her for a little while.
>When you open your eyes, you first go to check the clock.
>An excitement begins to build up inside your chest.
“Okay, I think we should be in the clear.”
>Vinyl nods with the same eagerness and scrambles for the window.
>You slowly pop your door open and peek around the hallway outside before ducking back in and turning to Vinyl and giving her a thumbs up.
“I should be clear, I’ll meet you down by our spot.”
>She nods in confirmation and disappears past the view your window provides.
>You sneak your way through the rarely used pathways you’ve discovered over your years here at the academy, slipping easily through the patrols you’ve gotten memorized down to the second from trail and error past attempts
>>
>>27155575
>You reach the tucked away area of the fence in a pretty short time, Vinyl is waiting for you already like usual.
>Her wagon is pulled into a shadowy corner nearby.
>You take the worn box you sat on earlier and use it as a stand to put yourself as high up next to the tall fence as possible.
>Vinyl begins her usual climb, you extend your arms as high up as they can go.
>You touch her rear hooves and quickly scramble to put yourself in position.
>She releases her unsteady grip on the pointed curves of the fence and drops down into your arms.
>You grunt from the sudden weight, but she quickly drops from you before you topple over with her.
>All that work she does is really helping her fill out more.
>At least you really hope so, you may not be as big as some of the other minos, but you think you’re still a pretty decent size for your age.
>A light tap on your forehead draws your attention to the shimmering board floating above your head.
“Oh, sorry.”
>You get a firm grip on the worn instrument before she releases its familiar weight on you.
>She levitates her drum set over the fence with some strain but is now floating it firmly just behind her.
>Together you both sneak into one of the soundproof rooms at the back and get your equipment set up.
>You play a few random keys, they give just as much as your muscle memory tells you they should.
>A few more adjustments to the sound enchantments on your board to get it to the sound you think you want to play with tonight.
>You dig i finger into the neck of your uniform and give it a firm tug.
“Okay, Vi, I didn’t really spill much about my day earlier but-“
>You loosen your tie and drop your coat to the floor.
>Vinyl is playing around with a few different beats trying to get a feel for what you want while you’re doing the same thing.
“-I think I’m just feeling kinda tired of being told what I should be doing.”
>The drumming comes to a stop.
>You roll your eyes.
>>
>>27155586
“Yeah well I just made a plea with you, not a command okay? It's different.”
>You can feel the smugness coming from each tap her sticks give to the snare.
>You nod along to the beat.
“Faster.”
>She picked up the pace and it starts feeling right.
“Da da da-da-da-da da da da~”
>You shake your head.
“Vi, this part needs to feel a little more marely.”
>You hear the shimmering of her horn and feel a warm tingling in your throat.
“Da da-da-da-daaaa~”
>You can just feel that this is right.
>You repeat this a couple of times as the lyrics begin to form in your head.
>Fingers tease a few chords, gradually getting louder and more confident once you start nailing the correct feeling ones.
>Your shoulders lighten from a burden you didn’t realize you were carrying as you take in a deep breath.
“T-t-tape holds things that can not stick, and keep leftovers in the fridge~”
>You imagine a caricature of Miss Raymi pelting you with more “should know”s ad “Should do”s
“While lessons learned go down the drain, I~”
>You didn’t realize how absorbed you were in this until your lungs begin to ache.
>You take in a rapid breath in order to keep on this developing song.
”-Can’t believe everything and all the bad names gone, and the good ones were aa-aall wrong~”
>You take in a deep breath while Vinyl guides you along with her steady beat.
>You lean in close to the mic and belt.
“And so I stayed up~”
“Aa-aall night~”
"Slept in~”
“Aa-aall day~”
>An overwhelming feeling of confidence and comfort courses through you.
“This is my sound!~”
“Thinking ‘bout tomorrow won’t change how I feel today!~"
>You let that statement hang in the air, in your heart, for just a moment before jumping back onto the beat Vinyl is leaving.
“Da da da-da-da-da da da da~”
>She catches on after the second “da” and alters your voice as you repeat this part.
>>
>>27155590
>You lead into a second verse that carries the same feeling of nagging you are tired of hearing.
>But for just a second you think back to the mare from earlier.
>Sapphire Shores.
>How she got here on her own merit.
“Close your eyes and use your mouth~”
“And tell me ‘bout your song~”
>You shake her from your mind and continue on into the chorus.
“And so I stayed up~”
“All night~”
“Slept in-“
>”I would most certainly hope not.”
>You slap your hands down on your keyboard from the surprise.
>Vinyl jumps at your blaring sound and drops her sticks.
>Before you stands a very irritated looking Miss Raymi.
>And behind her you spy a shiteating grin attached to the face of your RA.
>You never liked that smarmy bastard…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDzhbYlS4bE for those who want to hear the source

And that's all I have for now, it's set up I know, but hopefully it's still at least enjoyable. Thanks for reading.
>>
File: yesyesyes.gif (736KB, 395x222px) Image search: [Google]
yesyesyes.gif
736KB, 395x222px
>>27155600
>>
>Anon goes out to drink every once in a while for fun
>The whole "weak alcohol" thing still exists, but it's the thought that counts
>Awkward mare decides to buy him drinks to see if the rumors of his "iron liver" is true
>Finally gets Anon drunk after emptying her wallet
>Turns out Anon is a happy drunk
>Starts to hug the mare right there in the bar and plant small kisses on her withers
>No pone in the bar is strong enough to save the mare from Anon's grasp
>>
File: 1459990623879.jpg (106KB, 788x859px) Image search: [Google]
1459990623879.jpg
106KB, 788x859px
>>27155526
oh goodness its so cute
>>
File: 4689213.jpg (64KB, 600x542px) Image search: [Google]
4689213.jpg
64KB, 600x542px
>>27153531
I love RGRE stories where mares can actually win Anon's heart.
Without Anon being an asshole, clueless idiot, or simply having a "I'm not a horsefucker, no sir" cliché attidute.

I'd really like to see a RGRE story where Anon is in a happy relationship with a mare, or mares from the very beginning of it.
>>
>>27155544
>“Right… Uh, I’m sorry I don’t know yours, or remember it if we met-“
>>”Sapphire Sh-Shores! My name is Sapphire, and no, we never met officially or anything, just, I saw you at… uh, one of your performances before.”
oh my
>>
>>27155600
I'm liking it, I'm liking it a lot.

So is he a human that grew up with minotaurs and doesn't know he's human?
>>
>>27153197
i fucking love JoJo. and ponies
>>
>>27150952
This is true, but I do hope Cadance doesn't wind up being absolutely nothing but the burning sphere of spite she's been so far. All the other characters have personality, charm, conflict... and then she's just Satan.
>>
File: CadenzaPan.png (58KB, 206x244px) Image search: [Google]
CadenzaPan.png
58KB, 206x244px
>>27156601
I think it's Durnk who doesn't like the way people shit all over Cadance following Shuk's story. So I know at least one writer likes her.

I also like Calzone, but she's a bit more difficult to work into a story, as she appears in a long term relationship with a previously unmentioned character, and doesn't interact with much of the rest of the cast frequently.Which means all the her surrounds have to be OCs.
>>
>>27156615
The main positive quality of Princess My Armored Condenser is the variety of nicknames she can be given. Beyond that she's pretty meh tier at best.
>>
>>27156615
Yeah, I'm just referring specifically to that story's version of her (although, as you point out, separating that one portrayal from this thread is difficult).
>>
>>27155600
Holy shit, how glad I am that I didn't have to deal with campus and dorm shit.
>>
File: Calzone.png (199KB, 680x510px) Image search: [Google]
Calzone.png
199KB, 680x510px
>>27156759
>pretty meh tier
>>
>>27156797
It's not entirely her fault. Every horse is meh tier compared to the radiance of the sun.
>>
File: under armor logo.png (5KB, 400x399px) Image search: [Google]
under armor logo.png
5KB, 400x399px
>>27156759
>Tailor Anon goes innaquestria
>Starts a sports clothing company
>Calls it 'Cadence'
>>
>>27153531
>>27155600
So much green.
>>
>>27155782
>So is he a human that grew up with minotaurs and doesn't know he's human?
isn't that supposed to be Frosty's thing?........
>>
>>27155600
Break his fucking jaw.
>>
>>27156810
>Every horse is meh tier compared to the radiance of the sun and moon.
FTFY
>>
>>27157028 >>27156810
Fapping to the royal sisters... that's almost as bad as having a mane6 favorite pony.
Normies these days...
>>
>>27156759
Condensation was a bitch in Shuk's story, so I'll treat her like a bitch regarding his story.
>>
File: 1409793362298.png (376KB, 700x923px) Image search: [Google]
1409793362298.png
376KB, 700x923px
>>27157028
>>
>>27155476
>when did alucard get to equestria
During one of his very enthusiastic walks.
>>
>>27157035
What you gonna do, reeeee at us?
>>
File: Viking-Sword.png (17KB, 500x302px) Image search: [Google]
Viking-Sword.png
17KB, 500x302px
>>27157281
If he does I got the pig sticker.
>>
File: images_ANV6_3_l.jpg (104KB, 1160x530px) Image search: [Google]
images_ANV6_3_l.jpg
104KB, 1160x530px
>>27157300
>made-in-china pot metal bar
Get on my level.
>>
>>27157300
>>27157404
Don't turn this into a swordfag duel
>>
>>27157300
>>27157404
Don't start.
>>
File: 1461228297140769641.jpg (42KB, 720x369px) Image search: [Google]
1461228297140769641.jpg
42KB, 720x369px
>>27157404 >>27157300 >>27157281
Oh no, normies and literal edge-lords.
This is how much I'm frightened.
>>
>>27156615
It's not cadence specifically, it's more I felt like she was a victim in the story but treated like she did something wrong.
The whole "Forced to have a child" thing.

>>27155600
Cute, more when?

>>27153531
Ponies are for snuggling.
When will they be doing the more vigorous kind of snuggling?

>>27152149
It's clear which one needs to be shot here.
>>
>>27157404
>>
>>27157429
>It's not cadence specifically
Shhhh

It's okay, I want to hold her hoof too. We can be degenerates together

and I know, it's fine. But you were the first one to spring to mind about not hating Calzone. Although I think LaP also likes her
>>
File: princess of cadence.jpg (202KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]
princess of cadence.jpg
202KB, 500x500px
I'll start liking Cadence when she stops shirking her duties.
>>
>>27157429
I understand where you're coming from with your opinions on Cadence, Durnk. IRL I'd probably be on your side, no less. But the fact of the matter is, Cadence was pregnant with an alicorn, which was never heard of before. She comprised 50% of the world's ENTIRE alicorn population just by carrying a child. Have you ever heard that to sustain a race, you need at the very VERY minimum 500 members of that species? ALicorns, despite 4 of them being alive, would be considered an extinct species if not for their immortality.

People here are upset at her entitled attitude despite all this. She didn't care that her species comprised of 3 members including herself, pre-pregnancy. She didn't care that it was impossible for Anon, who truly WAS an extinct species in Equestria, to have children of his own, and that she was literally his only hope. She only thought about herself and how the pregnancy affected her and her alone.

It isn't, "You didn't want to carry a baby to term; you're a terrible person"; it's "You want to get rid of a one-in-a-million chance of conceiving miracle baby that would affect thousands of lives and give hope to your lover because you see a world-changing event (or at least it is to Anon) and focus only on how it affects you."

Look at it this way: Have you ever met a smug asshole? An entitled prick who gets outraged when you don't bend over backwards to accommodate him or if you disagree with him? Surely you've met an immigrant; god knows they're everywhere. It doesn't matter if the smug bastard wants you to help him move a couch or if he thinks that he shouldn't HAVE TO restrain himself from raping little girls; you don't want to do anything for him because he's an entitled prick.

That's the biggest idea behind the green. People don't NECESSARILY hate this Cadence b/c no baby machine; they hate her because her personality is genuinely unlike-able and she has no consideration for others when push comes to shove.
>>
>>27157612
I get where the legal system was coming from in text... And I get why Celestia pushed Calzone through it...

But I disagree with the laws.

Even if I think Cazador acted badly, she wasn't in a good situation.

Also, Celestia should have requested one of Anon's socks, so she could find out if all Alicorns could get pregnant from him.

Part of it is the RGR aspect though - a deadbeat dad, or a dropout dad, is a thing. They just bugger off ASAP. The thing is, a pregnant person can't just leave the kid behind - they have to carry it for a little while. But CaddyMcCaddyface was acting as a stereotypical jock - FLEE FROM CONSEQUENCES USING MONEY SQUIRT
>>
>>27157646
No, I agree, the law situation was fucked up. I'm not a liberal but I'd be outraged if the law was less "You can't get an abortion" and more "you HAVE TO carry that babbu to term or else prison"

Still, this is the point behind RGRE. Cadence isn't the woman of the relationship. If she and a colt have sex and she gets pregnant, there's no legal wiggle room; it's her own stupid fault for getting pregnant. Abortion doesn't fall under "my body my choice" because, even if MBMC existed in Equestria, it would apply to stallions instead of mares. Cadence getting an abortion would be seen as a man sneaking pills into his pregnant wife's food so that it would kill the fetus. Cadence leaving the kid to Anon and buggering off for the next decade is seen as the deadbeat dad who hides behind rich daddy's money because he's secretly a child inside and can't handle that his actions have consequences.
>>
How does abortion work in RGRE? Is it the stallion's choice? "Your body, my choice?" Can mares have a surgery similar to a vasectomy that prevents them getting pregnant?
This is incredibly confusing.
>>
>>27157694
Horses can self-abort at will. It's part of their biology. As such, it would have been part of society from the start, not something that sprung up once they reached nation-state level.

So I would have thought that as a matriarchal state, they wouldn't have imposed such a law that would impinge on the rights of the rulers to have sex with whoever they wanted.

I'd have thought there would maybe be a length thing (you can only do it in the first trimester, ie), and probably a knowledge thing (you must inform the father, if he knows you are pregnant), but I wouldn't have thought there would be any legal reason to stop it.
>>
>Be Rainbow Dash
>Picked up a couple colt cuddlers at the bar
>Fucked them straight
>feelsgoodmare.parchment

>Be Braeburn
>You've never been with a mare before
>You will never be with one again

>Be Soarin'
>It tasted like fish and smelled like death
>She made you lick it
>>
>>27157718
>you must inform the father,
Hah. You have to know who the father is for this! Is it the one who went last?
>So I would have thought that as a matriarchal state, they wouldn't have imposed such a law that would impinge on the rights of the rulers to have sex with whoever they wanted.
Don't underestimate a state that needs more soldiers. Blanket ban! Do your part! A mare that bore no proud daughters is no mare!
The elite will find a way to squirrel out of it anyway.
>>
>>27157777
Quads confirm. Discussion is over.
>>
>>27157777
>A mare that bore no proud daughters is no mare!
Darn straight.
>>
>>27157680
You are taking human gender roles and inverting them. This isn't exactly productive.

>If she and a colt have sex and she gets pregnant, there's no legal wiggle room; it's her own stupid fault for getting pregnant. Abortion doesn't fall under "my body my choice" because, even if MBMC existed in Equestria, it would apply to stallions instead of mares.

It's not like he is going to carry the pregnancy, why would his opinion matter? Nobody's forcing him to care for the foal. By the way, is he even sure it's his foal? Why, because he fucked her when she really, really wanted to?
1)Mares always want to.
2)How does he know that he was the only one?
>>
>>27157832 >>27157801
>Mares have to sign up for service.
>It includes military and, ahem, population service
>A mare is expected to bear at least two foals before a set age, otherwise she gets assigned to a military herd for her next heat.
>Also, 'foal-dodgers' exist
>Mares that bear four or more get thanked for their service by random citizens.
>>
Oh god it's drama time again isn't it?
>>27157612
>>27157646
>>27157680
If it's "WE NEED MORE ALICORNS", why aren't Anon and the other princesses being forced to try to make more?
It would make sense that if it's a desperate enough situation enough to force one person to have children, you should be doing it to everyone.
RE Abortion: I don't see why one parent should be able to to opt out of having a child but the other can't. There should be some sort of legal declaration of not wanting a child that absolves the male of responsibility/involvement if the female chooses to not abort.
I feel like people are far too casual about creating intelligent life.
>>
>>27157890
Going too far.
>>
>>27157904
I'm >>27157646. I agree with you - the way the laws were set up were unfair to Cadence like this. And I do think that there should be a male-abortion financial severance or something. He formally denies any right to be part of the child's life. But he can only do this for the first 26 weeks of pregnancy, or the first 3(?) weeks after finding out he has a child if he finds out later IRL.

I did also mention that Celestia should have requested a hot monkey dicking.

However, the story is setting up Cadence as the evil birthmother. Basically everyone jumps in on this, some maybe without actually thinking about it quite so much.

>>27157890
Aaaaand now it's time for Magical Realms, with Anon! This week, we're presenting:
BREEDING
and....
THE MILITARY!
Huzzah!
Are you an Americlap?
>>
I'll just say this. Just because Shuk's RGRE Cadence is a cunt doesn't mean all RGRE Cadences are cunts.
>>
A good system would probably be legally requiring both parents to get together to discus things, and if the mare doesn't want the child but the sire does it becomes his responsibility after birth, with safe guards to prevent him from trying to get monies out of the mare.Try and remember that horses aren't nearly as inconvenienced by carrying and birthing as humans.
>>
>>27157975
All RGRE stories are part of the same canon, so no, Cadence is a cunt.
>>
>>27158045
>Cadence is literally a cunt
>A magical sapient horsecunt
>She floats around magically sorta hovering in mid-air and uses magic to manipulate things like a unicorn would
>Anon finds her somewhat disconcerting
>Cadence wants to put him on her shipping chart, but does not know where to put him
>She decides to follow him around to learn more about him in the hopes of figuring out what to do
>Anon has trouble concentrating on what he's doing with something so odd as a magic floating horsepussy watching him through the window
>They are both getting a bit frustrated by this
>>
File: Order_of_Maternal_Glory.jpg (50KB, 518x300px) Image search: [Google]
Order_of_Maternal_Glory.jpg
50KB, 518x300px
>>27157928
>Are you an Americlap?
No, but I bet you are, since you view this as a sex thing
>>27157905
>Going too far.
It is, but it's not too much of a jump from somewhat forceful encouragement.
I only hope one day we will think the same about military conscription and sending people to fight and die against their will.
>>
I really want to molest this nerdhorse.

And I really want her to like it but try and pretend she doesn't.
>>
File: image.jpg (26KB, 304x344px) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
26KB, 304x344px
>>27158045
>All RGRE stories are part of the same canon, so no, Cadence is a cunt.

No they aren't.
>>
>>27157849
>>You are taking human gender roles and inverting them. This isn't exactly productive.
Well, men can't get pregnant. Inverting human gender roles is the best I can do. Also, see thread title.

>>It's not like he is going to carry the pregnancy, why would his opinion matter?
Because this is RGRE and men are women here. IRL a woman can get an abortion without the father's consent; his opinion or wants or desires don't matter. She has complete control over the life of the fetus. In RGRE, this translates to the stallion's feelings on the subject mattering more than the mare's general well-being (baring health problems) If a stallion gets a mare pregnant, all he has to do is cry in the courtroom and beg the mare not to "kill my foal" and the judge sides with him.

>>Nobody's forcing him to care for the foal.
RGRE. Men are considered the ideal caretakers and win the overwhelming majority of custody battles.
>>
>>27158379
>>Men are considered
Samefag here. Meant "stallions"; not human males.
>>
>>27157890
>>Mares that bear four or more get thanked for their service by random citizens.
Mares that bear four or more get poor health care and are considered terrorist baby machines by the progressive youth.
>>
>>27158364
I doubt he was serious.
>>
>>27158364
That was obviously not even meant to be bait, but somehow you still fell for it.
>>
>>27158411
you never know.
>>
>>27158083
Comedy gold.
>>
>>
>>27158379
>>Also, see thread title.
>Be Anon in reversequestria
>EVERYTHING is reversed
>even vaginas
>they are upside down
>tails are attached upside-down too - they still hang down though
>and anuses.
>and everyone travels by moonwalking
>but in reverse
>so it's just regular walking
>the moon rises and sets before the sun does
>carriages roll faster in reverse than forward
>light refracts off surfaces rather than reflecting.
>ponies who rewind VHS tapes are considered pariahs and outcast form Blockbuster

Why don't the stallions give birth through their manginas then?

Anon, you;re better than this.
>>
>>27158402
>Saddle Arabians and Zebras have no such objections to having many foals.
>Within 3 generations the whole of Equestria is very tall and has faint stripes.
>>
>You managed to do it
>Though each one of the princesses was against it, and the baddies wanted nothing more than to flatten the whole town fighting, you managed to convince everyone that that particular course of action was GARBAGE compared to getting their flanks examined by you
>You think you knew how you had talked the princesses into it; they must have known that you were stalling for time
>What you didn't know was why Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis went along with it
>Perhaps they were so confident that they'd win that they didn't care what you did to stall for time?
>Maybe they had already done something to the elements so that the girls couldn't use or even get them?
>...
>They could have just wanted you to touch their butts...
>...
>You hoped that it was the third case...
>So there you were, standing in front of six very powerful, very finicky mares, rubbing your hands together like birdman
>On their end the princesses/queens were huddled together fairly close, with only the occasional death glare
>No one was shouting at each other, there was no touching or shoving, and there most certainly wasn't any magic being used
>Which was good; awesome even
>How long everyone was going to be nice was the sticking point here, but hopefully you'd manage to keep the demi-gods distracted long enough
>...Hopefully
"Alright," you said, clapping your hands together. "Last but not least we get to the final race of the pony tribes: the alicorns."
>Both Chrysalis and Nightmare raise eyebrows
>You shrugged
"Hey, it sounds better than alicorns, a Changeling queen and..."
>You trailed off, looking Nightmare Moon over
>She just grinned
>"I am far beyond anything that you've ever known, mortal," she said
>Your nose scrunched up slightly as the sound of static filled your ears and the sun flickered like a light blub
>>
File: 1419308796462.png (180KB, 508x720px) Image search: [Google]
1419308796462.png
180KB, 508x720px
>people acting like having a baby is the worst thing that can happen to a female
when did people see women being so selfish and nonchalant about killing their child in the womb as a good thing
>>
>>27158448
>Reversed gender roles?
>More like literal reversal of every aspect of reality, amirite?
Extrapolation: the perfect argument practice.

See this, Anons? This is the sort of thing that happens when someone doesn't have an argument but still wants to have the last word. You know: like a child.
>>
>>27158481
>Ha
>Look at this filly, trying to be scary and shit
>Little did she know that ancient, unknowable beings were you fetish
>It was the tentacles. You were totally really, kinda into that shit no homo
"See? The way I said it sounds better. I'm an announcer that likes to announce, so can the peanut gallery please be quiet AFTER I'm done talking?"
>Though both of them rolled their eyes, muttering something about stallions under their breath, both of the mares motioned for you to continued
"Good! Now as I was saying: We find ourselves admiring the alicorn form; their backsides in particular."
>You begin pacing in front of the mares
"Since alicorns are a perfect mixture of earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi they are the epitome of what an ass should be."
>You clap your hands together and grin
>"So, I'd like to announce that each of you ladies gets a ten out of ten automatically. Congratulations."
>Before anyone could start talking you raised a hand
"And, since you all are VERY special cases, I'm going to have to judge you in a very special way: with personal preference."
>You turned away from the mares and quickly made your way back toward your house, quickly grabbing the wooden chair you had on your front porch and scurrying back
>You could tell that you were dancing on the edge of a knife here; keeping these mares waiting would NOT be a good idea at all
>...
>That and you wanted to get as much groping done before the shoot-bangs started...
"While I like to consider myself a butt professional, one who judges backsides based on merit that is fair to everyone I can't do that here."
>You sat the chair down and took a seat
>"By the merits that we set up for this competition you all get tens. So with that in mind, and since I'm the only one here judging, we're gonna do this in the fairest way possible."
>You leaned back in your chair
>>
>>27158490
>when did people see women being so selfish and nonchalant about blueballing good men as a good thing
>>
File: 1313692651895.jpg (93KB, 576x384px) Image search: [Google]
1313692651895.jpg
93KB, 576x384px
>>27158481
>>27158514
EVERYONE SHUT UP

THE COMMERCIALS ARE OVER AND THE MOVIE JUST STARTED
>>
>>27158490
Feminism, roughly the 2012 version. Normal people cant get anything when the extremes own or control the opinions of everything. Even when their wrong.
>>
>>27158490
Most posters here are men, Anon. And most of those posters are enormous white-knights who fight against that might inconvenience or upset their perfect goddesses.
>>
>>27158515
here>>27158527
or to be more specific to that, when women could get away with lying in divorce courts and take everything.
>>
>>27158521
No, Anon. I'm beginning to ENJOY may anger

Sorry, LaP. You're a cool guy but I can't promise you anything right now.
>>
>>27158532
your sentence became ineligible at the end, want to try writing that again?
>>
>>27158515
they want to be human. just a regular selfish human.
>>
>>27158514
"First: I'm going to inspect your behinds, get myself acquainted, and then I'm gonna have you all sit in my lap."
>You placed your hands in said lap, looking at each of the mares with a smile
"Does that sound alright with you?"
>Chrysalis grinned
>Nightmare Moon smirked
>Twilight and Princess Celestia turned a bit red
>Both Luna and Cadence raised eyebrows; you could tell that they had questions
>Not a single one of them said no however, so you took that as a sign that you could proceed with your plan
>Your glorious, butt-filled plan filled with groping
"Neat! So how about we start off with a princess first huh?"
>Your gaze turned expectant
"Do I have any takers?"
>To your surprise Cadence, a small smile on her face, was the first to step up
>"I think that I'd like to go first," she said, walking toward you. "If that's alright with you, Anonymous."
>Honey, if it was anymore alright you would have done a back flip
>As Cadence got within arm's length of you she presented her backside, flicking her tail out of the way to give a better look at what you'd be working with
>You sat on the edge of your chair, rubbing your hands together, and were about to inspect away when a blue glow encased your grabbers and placed them back into your lap
>Hey now...
>What's all this then?
>"Anon, before we start I want you to know that I have a husband and foal at home that I love very much," Cadence said, looking over her shoulder at you as her horn glowed. "So, I'd very much appreciate it if you were as tame as possible with me; for my sake if nothing else."
>You opened your mouth to ask what she was insinuating, but after thinking about it for a second you quickly closed your mouth
>...
>Alright...
>You weren't happy about it but you could respect her train of thought
>...
>If she wanted to keep this PG-13 then you'd give her a PG-13 inspection
>...
>Just for her though; you weren't a fucking boy scout
>>
>>27158542
Because women are weak creatures oppressed by the patriarchy. Don't you know that millions of women are raped every day? If proud womyn are to be truly free, then they have to acknowledge that they are in all ways inferior to men and must be protected and coddled and have laws leaning in their favour.
>>
>>27158481
>came right in the middle of an internet fight
I'm so sorry, LaP.
>>
>>27158553
He's saying that they're a bunch of white-knight faggots who put women up on a pedestal.
>>
>>27158570
Do I hear the marital problems thread or do you hear it to?
>>
>>27158562
"I promise that you'll be able to tell your husband that nothing too bad happened. I promise," you told her
>Chrysalis scoffed, rolling her eyes as Cadence's smile turned grateful
>"Thank you very much."
>Her magic released your hands
>"Now why don't get back to it?" she asked, giving her backside a wiggle, a backside which immediately caught your attention
>True to her title, Princess Cadence was wearing a pair of frilly pink panties embroidered with hearts
>The underwear was a perfect fit, not too tight and not too loose; tastefully cut so that they showed off her ample flank without going overboard with it
>You forced yourself to blink as you wiped the drool from your chin with your jacket
>Even though she was still "clothed" you could tell that the Princess had a prefect backside
>It was just a little big for her body, tight, perfectly round with just a JUST a hint of fat to give you something to hold on to...
>Once again you had to wipe the drool from your chin
>Whoo...
>Doing this one clean was going to be a hell of a lot harder than you first thought...
>Your hands reached up and you hooked your thumbs through the panties
>You could feel Cadence's gaze on you as you slowly pulled them down, revealing the mass of pink, perky flesh not a few inches from your face
>At that moment all else was forgotten
>The princesses and queens weren't watching you
>You didn't have the threat of incineration hanging over your head
>There was just you and this flank...
>You let out a shaky sigh as you let the princesses panties hit the ground, slowly pulling your hands away
>Cadence's tail flicked past your face
>Unintentional or not (you didn't even see anything) you could now smell bubble gum
>...
>You were silent for a moment, just taking in the flank in front of you
>Perfectly round, you could just make out her the cutiemarks on each of her cheeks
>>
>>27158562
Awww that's nice of them.
>>
>>27158580
No, I just hear the sounds of autists and cucks yelling at each other.
>>
>In the center was a mouth-watering crack wherein all of the goodies were stashed; goodies which were strategically hidden by a tail
>Pg-13, Pg-13!
>You had to think wholesome, Christian thoughts now old boy
>Cadence twitched slightly when you placed a hand on either of her cheeks, but she said nothing, simply widening her stance to give you better access while keeping her tail between her legs
>You just sighed as you squeezed, your fingers sinking into about a quarter inch of fat before coming upon a thick layer of muscle, which felt tight and damn near knotted it was so thick
>Your fingers,trailed upwards until you had a hand on either cutiemark
>Cadence twitched once more, her wings shuffling against her side as you then began to rub your thumbs against the fur there
>As you expected, it was sublime; not too long, not too short, it wasn't in patches and it felt smoother than silk
>You squeezed Cadence's flank again, watching as it contorted and tensed under your grip
>Now was the part that you should have been pointing out the good and bad things about this flank, what set it apart and its flaws
>But you didn't want to ruin this by speaking
>NO!
>When one was in a position to admire a masterpiece they did not speak
>Speaking would ruin the... sustenance of this for you
>You needed to let yourself to swept up
>You needed to let the art take you where it wanted and drop you off where you needed to be
>Cadence breath started to quicken as your hands traveled up and down her backside
>Your touches were light and filled with an almost zealous amount of reverence, though every once in a while your hands would clamp down to grab and tug at fur and fat alike
>That bubble gum smell grew the longer your fingers worked until Cadence's tail flicked out of the way and gave you an eyeful
>...
>Huh...
>You'd have thought that she'd looked a little more wrecked, what with her having a kid and all...
>>
>>27158608
sounds pretty close, though I must have something in my ear.
>>
>>27158611
I like how now that we have a writefag posting, everyone's gone quiet. It's like dad's home from work and now all the kids have to stop fighting.
>>
>>27158512
Great, zero self-awareness, that's how I like my anons.

No, Anon. You can't just take every single societal notion that is linked to gender and reverse it. Not unless you literally change the stallions into mares. Because the mechanics of sexual reproduction are objective reality that influences the roles. Or do you think gender is a purely social construct?

Bolting on female human behavior onto a horse male makes just as much sense as reversed anuses. Zero.

>If a stallion gets a mare pregnant, all he has to do is cry in the courtroom and beg the mare not to "kill my foal" and the judge sides with him.
A female is sure in the knowledge that a child inside her is hers. Who the fuck is this guy crying in the corner? What do you do if there are several?
>RGRE. Men are considered the ideal caretakers and win the overwhelming majority of custody battles.
They also provide delicious stallion-milk for the foal, a must for proper early development!

>Well, men can't get pregnant. Inverting human gender roles is the best I can do.
Try thinking a little.
>>
>>27158627
They are like parents huh?
>>
>>27158611
oh shit Shining got a small dick.
>>
>>27158611
>Though you wanted more than anything to nuzzle this flank until the cows came home you resisted, letting Cadence go
>The princess, who was definitely breathing heavier than she had been at the beginning, looked back at you, a blush on her face
>Staring right back at her you scooched back into your chair
"Alright," you said, your voice sounding... small. "The examination part of this is over, now it's flank sitting in lap time."
>Cadence let out a breathless giggle
>"Eager are we?" she said, almost to herself. "And here I thought that my Shiny was the only stallion that liked mare butts."
>Everyone likes mare butts, love princess pony >Even the ones that don't
>You took a few deep breaths as Cadence started to back up, steeling yourself to what was about to happen
>You KNOW want you wanted to do the second that this medium-sized horse sat in your lap but you know that ACTING on it would get you in trouble
>So Christian thoughts, Anon
>You needed to ofnaifbvlsdiubwlijbcsuif!
>You bit your knuckle hard as Cadence sat in your lap, and it was only through god's grace that you did not buck your hips
>The Princess of Love's flank settled in your lap in a way that nearly melted your mind
>It was big but not too big, she sunk into your lap a little bit but not too much, her weight was more than comfortable
>She was, in a word, ohmyfuckinggodthisassisamazingIwanttoflipthishorseoveranddounChrisitanthingstoherandafterwardgotoponyIHopandbuyherfucking breakfast
>Cadence, as an almost teasing gesture, leaned backward so that her mane was tickling your nose
>Your hands opened and closed, hovering on either side of the princesses flank as she sat there, breathing just as hard as you
>Christian thoughts, Anon...
>Christian thoughts...
>"I-Is this alright, Anon?" Cadence asked, her voice slightly shaky as she looked back at you
>She wiggled her hips and you felt a fucking vein pop
>"Do I just have to sit h-here or do you w-want me to do something e-else?"
>>
>>27158651
>Oh this horse...
>This fucking horse...
>Don't you fucking tease like that
>Don't you dare
>Your fingers twitched as they drew near the flank that was so EVILLY hot-dogging poor Anon Jr.
>You knew Cadence felt him too, because she wiggled her FUCKING HIPS AGAIN!
>WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A FUCKING TEASE, LOVE HORSE?!
>WHY?!
>You were about to be a hero and grab to handfuls of ass, to fucking start with, but, with a herculean effort, you moved your hands away
"Just sitting's fine," you say through clutched teeth.
>Cadence nodded
>"O-Okay," she murmured, WIGGLING HER FUCKING HIPS AGAIN
>PISS, SHIT, GODDAMMIT!
>As you had your mini aneurysm, Chrysalis let out another snort
>"She has a stallion underneath her hard and willing and she just sits there like some lost filly," she said, sounding disgusted
>As the other princesses glared at her Nightmare Moon let out an amused snort
>"The poor stallion looks like he's about to have a heart attack."
>Chrysalis flashed Celestia a toothy smile as the Princess of the Sun growled
>"I'll have to make sure to settle the poor thing when it's my turn, show him that there's actually MARES here and not a bunch of filly scouts."
>Your legs curled into themselves
>You could feel Anon Jr., who was crying his eye out, straining through your pants
>You wanted to rip these pants off and tell the princess to sit down again
>You wanted to feel that silky fur coat and those warm, firm mounds of--
>CHRISTIAN THOUGHTS!
>CHRISTIAN THOUGHTS FOR FUCK SAKE!
>WHY DID YOU THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!
>...
>...
>...
>WHO WERE YOU KIDDING?!
>'CAUSE IT HURT SO GOOD THAT'S WHY!
"Alright. That's enough, Princess. You can get off me now."
>Cadence looked back over her shoulder at you, the tiny movement making you go cross-eyed
>"Are you sur--"
"Please get off me," you squeaked
>And just like that Cadence hopped out of your lap, freeing your cock from its heavenly, hellish confines
>>
File: politics.jpg (97KB, 550x327px) Image search: [Google]
politics.jpg
97KB, 550x327px
>>27158617
Now I'm imagining this entire clusterfuck in form of a political cartoon
>There's like this goblin sticking his fingers in a giant man's ears
>The fingers in his ears have the words "shitposter" on them
>There's a small group of people under the heel of the man's shoe; the people have megaphones that have the word "internet" on it; the people have prison-style balls on chains that are labeled ">implying"; they have tags around their necks that read "writefags", and the shoe-heel is labelled "loyalty and approval"
>The man has words on his shirt: "You"
>The man is trying to divide his attention between multiple old CRT television screens
>The TVs are labelled "opinions" and the man looks distressed

Genius.
>>
>>27158628
You're either a retard or you're a shitposter trying to stir up trouble by being purposefully wrong.
>>
>>27158698
>You slumped into your chair with an explosive sigh, gripping on both armrest so tightly that your fingers had sunk into the wood
>Deep breaths Anon...
>Deep breaths...
>It's all over...
>You opened an eye to look down at your poor, neglected crotch
>There was Anon Jr., looking like he was about ready to pop the zipper, but you could also see that Princess Mi Amore Cadenza had made a bit of a mess on your brand new dress pants
>Your gaze lazily traveled up to the pink princess herself, who's face was bright cherry red as she stared back at you
>Neither of you say a word to each other for a long moment
>One of your hands slowly detached itself from an armrest
>You raised that hand into the air and slowly gave the pink princess a thumbs up
"You have a very lucky husband, Cadence," you croaked. "When you get back to him remind him that."
>A smile came to the princesses face
>"It's me that's the lucky one," she said with a giggle. "But thank you for the compliment, Anon."
>Chrysalis made a face at Cadence
>Though Cadence didn't see it one of her wings unfurled and she presented the changeling queen her longest primary feather, which, as you were later told, was pretty much the bird horse version of the middle finger
>Taking a few more deep breaths, you sat back in your chair and pulled out a handkerchief
"Alright," you say, dabbing your sweat-drenched face. "Princess Cadence is done. Does anyone want to go next?"
>Chrysalis' chest puffed out, and she raised a hoof, but to the surprise of everyone present Twilight stepped out of the line
>"I'll go next," she said, red-faced but determined
>Chrysalis growled
>"I will not have you PRINCESSES going first be--"
>"There's four of us and two of you," Twilight said matter-of-factly, calmly staring back at the glaring queen. "Anon's going to have to judge two princesses in a row no matter how you look at it so I figured that we'd get it out of the way and over with."
>>
>>27158698
SWEET PONY JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL
>>
>>27158734
>sweet marvin father of jane
>>
File: fdd.jpg (61KB, 680x476px) Image search: [Google]
fdd.jpg
61KB, 680x476px
>>27158711
>You're either a retard or you're a shitposter trying to stir up trouble by being purposefully wrong.
>>
>>27158732
>Chrysalis' eyes narrowed as she stared at Equestria's newest and purplest princess
>You could tell that she wanted to argue, out of spite if nothing else, but from the look on her face you could tell that she knew that Twilight's reasoning was iron clad
>"...Fine," she said with a grunt. "It will let the stallion get the poorer flanks out of the way anyway."
>Twilight's feathers ruffled at the comment but she didn't take the bait
>Instead she turned back to you, a small smile coming to her face
>"Do you want to judge me now or do you need a few minutes to calm down?" she kindly asked
>"No, no, I'm fine, I'm fine," you reassured her, stuffing your handkerchief into your coat pocket. "Come on over here and let me take a look at you
>That was when whatever confidence that Twilight had managed to work up left her little horse body
>And you know it did because you watched the smile on her face become very, very nervous
>"A-Are you sure?" she asked, fidgeting with her hooves. "B-Because I'd be m-more than happy to--eep!"
>Rolling her eyes, Nightmare Moon swatted the Princess of Friendship on the flank with a burst of magic
>"The stallion is not going to bite you, filly," she said. "Get over there before I lose my patience."
>Twilight stumbled forward, forcing you to grab her by her shoulders so she wouldn't accidentally impel you with her horn
>"S-Sorry, sorry!" she said frantically before wincing in pain
>You smiled at the littlest princess
"Easy there, purple, there's no reason to be all nervous like this," you reassured. "It's not like you don't see me every single day anyways."
>Twilight stared up at you with her big purple eyes
>"B-But you're not touching my BUTT then," she whisper-shouted
>You leaned forward so that your noses were nearly touching
>Twilight tried to move away but you held her firmly in place
"Everything's going to be FINE, Twiggles. Now go ahead and do those breathing exercises that you like to do."
>"But what if you--"
>>
File: 747436.jpg (698KB, 2000x1386px) Image search: [Google]
747436.jpg
698KB, 2000x1386px
>>27158732
>>27158773
MOLEST IT
MOLEST THE PURPLE PRINCESS BUTT
>>
>>27158773
We will fuck her into a coma.
>>
>>27158773
"Go on. After you're done with that I can get on with the inspection."
>Twilight looked back at Celestia, who nodded encouragingly
>Looking back at you, partly because you wouldn't let her look at the ground, Twilight started her breathing exercises
>In....
>And out...
>In...
>And out...
>Finally, she looked a good deal calmer than she had a minute ago, looking up at you with a big ol' smile
>"T-Thanks, Anon," she said with only the slightly shimmer
>You nodded, giving her shoulders a squeeze
>"Alright, now how about you turn around so I can see what I'm working with?"
>With a little nod Twilight shyly turned around and showed you what her momma gave her
>You knew what this little horse's problem was
>She felt inadequate around all of these godly flanks
>And, while you understood where she was coming from, as you took a gander at her flank you could honestly say that she really didn't have that much to worry about
>You knew that ol' Twilot here liked her sweets and junk food
>So also knew that after being called Twiggy piggy more than a few times that she had gone to Rainbow Dash so that she could get fit
>While her stomach looked slimmer than it had been a few months ago it looked like her flank hadn't lost ANY of its mass
>And you meant that in the best way possible
>The flabby, oddly flat flank had been turned into a proper muscly ass
>Sure, there was still a bit of chub around the back of the legs and above the rump, but this was an ass that you could get behind
>And, since Twilight here was about was single, you could change the PG-13 Christian values rating to an R
>So you COULD get behind it
>Your dick twitched at the thought as you rubbed your hands together
>Twilight was wearing a pair of red, conservatively cut panties
>They were nice if a little plain; they'd look a lot better down near her hooves than on her but you stopped yourself from doing so
>>
>>27158773
Purple smart embarrassed is cute.
>>
>>27158828
>Instead you placed your hand over the place where Nightmare Moon had lashed her and began to gently rub
>Twilight hissed, dancing in place in pain as you did your best to rub the pain away
"There, there, it'll feel better in a minute," you cooed, savoring the feeling of your fingers digging into her rump. "You're doing good, you're doing good."
>Eventually Twilight stopped her fussing and relaxed under your touch
>You could hear her sigh, before her wings violently twitched
>"H-Hehehe, Anon? I appreciate what you're doing but could we please get to the inspecting?" she asked, her breathing a little ragged
>You ignored the princess, instead letting your hands wander where they pleased
>Twilight was doing her best to stay composed but every once in a while she'd let, moaning or gasping, all the while she wiggled back and forth in place like a mare possessed
>Your mouth twitched and you saw a wet spot begin to form on those red panties of her's
"Are you sure? That mean ol' queen over there hit you pretty hard. I can keep doing this until you feel a hundred percent," you "innocently" offered
>Twilight's wings twitched again and she let out a surprised gasp as you gave her flank a rougher than usual squeeze
>"Hah~! I-If fine now. B-But thank you for asking," she said a little too quickly as she pushed against your hands. "N-Now could you PLEASE pull my p-panties down?"
>Not one to disobey royalty, you did as she asked, reaching up and hooking your thumbs through her panties
>Twilight's breath hitched as your fingers grazed her flank
>Her backside clenched and unclenched, her tail wildly flicking back and forth as you began to slowly pull her panties down
>"Ohmygosh, ohmygosh! AnonpleasepleasePLEASEtakeiteasy!"
>Twilight's backside wiggled as you pulled her panties down inch by inch, revealing more and more of her expansive purple flank
>Stopping for a moment, you leaned in and gave her partically revealed left cheek a kiss
>>
>>27158875
>Twilight let out a muffled squeal, stomping her back leg hard
>...
>Alright
>Enough teasing...
>You pulled Twilight's underwear down without much of a fuss, letting them drop to the ground and you leaned back see what you were working with
>Twilight, meanwhile, was doing her very best to lower her flagging tail and her stiff wings, almost dancing in place as she mumbled nonsense to herself
>"Aw, it looks like it's her first time," Nightmare Moon said, leaning toward her fellow queen
>Chrysalis nodded as she quietly awed
>"Isn't she precious?" she asked, her baby talk turned up to eleven
>Twilight flinched at the mocking, shrinking into herself just a hair, her ears pinned against her head
>Frowning, you placed your hands on her bare rump
"You know, Twilight, I was expecting your rump to be a little different from the other alicorns, what with you being a unicorn and all."
>Twilight looked back at you as you grabbed two bit handfuls of her ass, squeezing and tugging on the mounds
>"I, I, I'M SURE--Hah~! I'm sure that I'm a LITTLE--ooh~! Different, Anon," Twilight managed to say, her body beginning to shake slightly
>You hummed, leaning forward and kissing Twilight's cutiemark on her right butt cheek
>The princess winked at you (not with her eyes), her back arching
>You began rubbing your face against the mare's rump, almost instantly enveloped by a blackberry, grape-y, purple-y scent
>Twilight's wings flapped and the ground below her instantly became soaked
>She let out a mixture between a moan and a squeak and her back legs gave out
>You, of course, made sure to hold her in place, continuing to rub your face against her right cutiemark, then her left, before beginning to gently bite at her rump
>Though you half expected Twilight's front half to give out the little princess was a trooper, keeping her hooves even as she rode out her orgasm, cute squeaks and moans escaping her lips
>You stopped your nuzzling the second that she managed to catch her breath
>>
File: medium.jpg (64KB, 800x320px) Image search: [Google]
medium.jpg
64KB, 800x320px
>>27158912
>>27158875
YES
YES
NOW...
Pull her tail
and call her your silly-filly.
>>
>>27158912
>"Hah~! Anon what are-- Hah~! What are you--"
>Sitting back into your chair, you carefully picked Twilight up and placed her in your lap
>Because she was still a little pony she was a perfect fit, the top of her head just under your chin
>You could feel your pants being soaked through but you paid it no mind, wrapping your arms around the little alicorn and pulling her against your chest
>Twilight made a startled noise, wiggling her rump in such a way that your wiener once again found itself between two warm, soft, succulent cheeks
>You gritted your teeth, grunting softly but mostly managing to keep yourself under control
"You know what what though? I think that you fit right in with these other princess in terms of butt."
>Though her chest was heaving, Twilight looked up at you, her horn gently poking your chest as she did so
>"Y-You really think so?" she asked, her voice small
>Ignoring the fact that you could feel her winking through your pants, you held her a little tighter
"Of course, Twiggles. No matter what you or anyone else thinks you're a very, very pretty pony."
>Twilight's eyes widened
>"R-Really?" she asked, almost as if she didn't believe you
>Your cock twitched again, and not for the first time you silently cursed the eternal cock tease that were pants
"If I'm lying I'm dying."
>Chrysalis began to gag as the other princesses smiled
>To your surprise even Nightmare's mouth had risen to a half smile at the scene
>Twilight stared at you for a moment before her eyes just lit up
>Spinning around in your lejrbwljdbvlsc blsircb flrfb!
>"ThankyouAnon!IalwaysthoughtthatIwasuglycomparedtotheotherprincesses--"
>You could feel your body beginning to tense as Twilight bounced in your lap like a fucking stripper as she pulled you in a hug, TAKING YOU BY FUCKING SURPRISE!
>"--ImeanjustafewmonthsagoIwasachubbylittleunicornthatstallionswouldn'tgivethetimeofday--"
>>
>>27158959
>In her excitement, Twilight leaned up and kissed you on the cheek, not stopping her wiggling for a moment
>You poor, throbbing cock was pushed to and fro, being rubbed and teased in all of the right ways by Twilight's big, clapping, cushy flank
"Twilight."
>"--Itriedmyhardesttoliveuptothetitleofprincess."
"Twilight."
>"--ButIneverthoughtI'dbeasprettyastheotherprincesses--"
"T-Twilight."
>"--ButtohearsomeponyactuallysayI'mprettyisreallynice!--"
"Twi... Taw..."
>--Don'tgetmewrongI'mamarebutstill--"
"..."
>Twilight let out a squeak as you wrapped your arms around her, holding her against you, and started to roughly thrusted against her
>As worked up at you were you only managed two or three thrust before the dam burst
>Twilight let out another squeak as you bit down on her shoulder hard
>Her marehood, as if it knew even through your layers of clothing, began peppering your covered member with kisses as you felt yourself cumming
>Dfvsudbfvslflfbvslfvnbslfdb!
>You closed your eyes as tight as you could, taking in Twilight's musk and the feeling of her fur tickling your face
>Your tongue lapped at her shoulder and you tasted sweat and blueberries
>A whimper escaped your throat as, with one last half-thrust you let go of Twilight and sunk back into your chair, sweaty and satisfied-yet-not, panting like a race horse
>"Anon? Anon?! What's wrong?!Twilight asked as you just kind of sat there in a haze. "Are you alright? Do you--"
>Her nostrils flared
>She then immediately blushed and began shimmering
"You are... a very pretty... pony, Twilight," you said, cracking open an eye
>Your hands found themselves on the Princess of Friendship's hips and they slowly made their way up to her shoulders
>Leaning the red-faced mare forward you kissed her nose
>You then pulled her into a hug
>"A very, very... pretty pony if my... now ruined pants are... any indication."
>...
>Rararara was going to be SO mad...
>...
>Worth it though...
>>
File: 5c7.jpg (12KB, 324x291px) Image search: [Google]
5c7.jpg
12KB, 324x291px
>>27158959
All is well in the world.
>>
>>27158990
Alright, I'm done with the first part of the alicorn-off.

You kids be good now
>>
>>27159008
See ya next time pops
>>
>>27159008
You've given me the most feelsy boner, LaP. I'm not sure how I feel about it coming from who is now apperently the "dad" of this thread.
>>
>>27158514
why do his lines keep alternating between black and green
>>
>>
>>27159119
Sloppy proofreading.
>>
>>27159008
>The_booty_had_me_like.jpg

I love when you write Twilight. I wish you did it more often.
>>
>>27159008
W-Whatever dad it's not like i care about your stories f-fogey!

I-I love you D-Dad.
>>
File: 1435700285229.jpg (119KB, 1191x670px) Image search: [Google]
1435700285229.jpg
119KB, 1191x670px
>>27158990
>>27159008
Ah, saving the best for last are you?
>>
bumo
>>
Not related to the thread, but then again nobody's posting. Canadafag here. I'm real sorry for the new PM. It's embarrassing enough that I feel like I need to say something.

I'm fully aware of the irony that I'm apologising for something that somebody else did; which is apologising for what somebody else did 102 years ago.
>>
>>27159883
Americafag here.

.....what the hell are you talking about?
>>
>>27160010
DUDEWEED
>>
>>27159883
>I'm fully aware of the irony that I'm apologising for something that somebody else did; which is apologising for what somebody else did 102 years ago.

Bruh, then affirmative action is ironic as fuck. Also, we're holding off on saying anything until we see who our next president is. If it's Bernie then we'll have to apologize to you.
>>
>>27160026
>implying the DNC would let Bernie win
>>
>>27160010
http://shoebat.com/2016/04/13/canadian-pm-justin-trudeau-makes-a-fool-out-of-himself-dressing-up-like-a-sikh-and-making-groveling-apology-for-canadian-racist-incident-that-happened-over-102-years-ago/

>>27160026
>Bernie
I pray for you, Americafags. With any luck, Trump will make your country (and indirectly, MY country) great again.
>>
>>27160058
I thought your country had bigger issues than this.
>>
>>27160026
>fight communism for decades
>go through a cold war against it
>proceed to attempt to vote in a self admitted communist
fucking universities
>>
>>27160058
They do, this guy has no brain though.
>>
File: octaviamaid.png (981KB, 951x1024px) Image search: [Google]
octaviamaid.png
981KB, 951x1024px
>>27160145
Do we have any good Octavia RGRE fics?
>>
>>27160174
Can't think of any. She would probably look down on stallions at first.
>>
>>27160216
>Successful orchestra member
>Lives in small house in a backwater town and needs a roommate to afford the bills
>Looks down on stallions
Somebody got fucked by the divorce courts.
>>
>>27160268
ayy
>>
File: 1454694540888.gif (233KB, 300x400px) Image search: [Google]
1454694540888.gif
233KB, 300x400px
>>27158912
I uploaded this just for this story!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyd5t4tAW_M&feature=youtu.be
>>
Better to die for the Butt then to live for oneself

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3w3XeHpsis&index=1&list=LLm98IPFV42qDSXcBuK0pmJQ
>>
>>27160268
Ouch. I wanna RGRE green about that but at the same time I don't want it to be a tearjerker where deus-ex-Anon arrives to save the day
>>
>>27160461

Maybe something about Octavia slowly getting back on her hooves by herself after the divorce? She seems driven enough to not let this ruin her life.
>>
>>27160216
or she would be a nervous wreck.

"Hi there, whats your name?"
>"I PLAY THE CELLO!"
"....okay"
>>
>>27160145
must. plow. cello horse.
>>
Is RGRE just fetishizing music recently?
>>
>>27160540
Have you seen the ass on the music pones?
>>
>>27160514
You can have both. She serious and thinks most stallions are just giggling, pop listening plebs but hasn't actually talked to many outside her orchestra group.
>>
>>27160174
There was this several threads back, most recent Octavia story I remember.

https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26808539/#26835820
>>
>>27160514

"I asked you your name."
>"I AM BLACK AND GREY!"
"no no, your name."
>she takes a deep breath and holds it for a moment.
>"my name is Octavia 'Philharmonica' melody...and it's nice to meet you."
"....U want sum fuk?"
>"Vinyl is going to like you."
>>
>>27160569
Oh shit that's nice.
>>
>>27160510
>>27160514
Oh christ, I'm somewhere between "Octavia thinks stallions are shit" and "Octavia microanalyses things b/c she's lost faith in judging a stallion's character" because of the divorce.

>You are Octavia, and a stallion is trying to talk to you
>What more do they want?
>Haven't they bled you DRY already?!
>"-so hey, I didn't catch your name."
>Buck you; that's my name.

or

>Oh, Celestia, not another one.
>Is this one going to stab you in the back and go off sucking Minuette's clit like that LAST slut did?
>Is he going to think you're another washed-up musician who thought she wear some old glasses, buy an acoustic guitar, and try to make it in the big city?
>No.
>He has to know that you're a high-class mare.
>If he's SHIT like your last colt, then this'll scare him off.
>If he isn't, then this puts him into a pool of potential mates.
>"-so hey, I didn't catch your name."
>SHIT
>QUICK IMPRESS HIM
"I PLAY THE CELLO!"
>YES
>BUCKING NAILED IT
>YOU'LL BE UNDER HIM IN NO-TIME FLAT
>"...okay"
>He looks nervous and awkward.
>He's intimated by your presence.
>>
>>27160607
plug noticed me
>>
File: hooligocti.jpg (95KB, 600x347px) Image search: [Google]
hooligocti.jpg
95KB, 600x347px
>>27160607
>>Buck you; that's my name.
This. And she is also a hooligan.
Plays orchestra for money, plays ska punk for the soul.
Holds radical worldviews
>>
>>27160607

Who else wants some more of this?

Raise your hands.
>>
>>27160645
Nah
>>
>>27160670
Er?
>>
File: raw.no.gif (89KB, 220x162px) Image search: [Google]
raw.no.gif
89KB, 220x162px
>>27160653
>>
>>27160664
dem thighs tho
>>
File: PinkieGivingYouTheMiddleFinger.png (637KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]
PinkieGivingYouTheMiddleFinger.png
637KB, 1280x720px
>>27160664
All hands raised !
>>
File: sware on me mum.png (156KB, 689x900px) Image search: [Google]
sware on me mum.png
156KB, 689x900px
>>27160697
dafuq u say u little bitch ill cut you
>>
File: 884.png (62KB, 377x391px) Image search: [Google]
884.png
62KB, 377x391px
>>27160626
Does this mean I get to be your sempai? I've always wanted to be silently pined after.

>>27160653
Octavia is actually Vinyl's driving force and source of inspiration. Octavia's passion is brought on by her anger and frustration, and the two of them work together to produce the chaotic, intense sounds of electronic music. Some days it's too intense for Vinyl.

>Ponies always DID think it was weird that she lived with a mare like Vinyl.
>They sometimes thought that Octavia wasn't really happy there, and rumours of a poor financial situation brought on by her divorce spread around town.
>But Octavia wasn't trapped in that house with Vinyl.
>Vinyl was trapped in there with Octavia.

>>27160664
See pic.
>>
File: 1408596877234.png (47KB, 852x544px) Image search: [Google]
1408596877234.png
47KB, 852x544px
>>27160782
Foal bearing hips.
>>
>>27160653
>Banksy Octavia
Hm
>>
So, this is what I've got so far. I've been busy putting a few dozen hours into Space Engineers, meaning that this is a preview until I get something else written down. I'm going to go spend some more time building my space station now.

>DONG DING
"Who where?"
>You are Rarity, the half-asleep and drowsy.
>Your usual afternoon nap didn't happen because you were too busy masturbating in an attempt to stave off your cooter-heat.
>If things are going the way you'd HOPE they're going, then you know EXACTLY who's at your door.
>That's right.
>That hot piece of flank, Anonymous.
>It's a shame he lost all that weight since he got here; you had a thing for a plot that had a bit of bounce to it.
>With a sleepy yawn, you open your door.
>Anonymous stands before you, his clothes dirty and torn, and the most delicious smell coming off of him.
>You can SEE the sweat dripping off of him.
>WOW
"Hot a what baabhabhiat!"
>What did you just say?
>Why would you DO that?!
>Anonymous looks as confused as you feel.
>Confused and a little bit nervous, like he regrets coming here.

-----------------

>You are Anon.
>The fuck is wrong with this pony?
>Is she having a stroke?
>>
>>27160874
fuck the stars with your overcompensating space ship cock.
>>
>>27160899
It will spit warheads out of the tip.
>>
>>27160874
are we going to glaze over the fact that the door bell went DONG DING instead of DING DONG?
>>
>>27159119
>>27159128
Are you both stupid? That's how properly written green is supposed to work. Anon's lines, or lines of the character POV the story is being told from, should be black. Descriptive lines are green with no quotations, other characters are green with quotations.
>>
>>27160955
Reverse Doorbell Tolls Equestria
>>
File: check it out.jpg (953KB, 1024x1504px) Image search: [Google]
check it out.jpg
953KB, 1024x1504px
>>27160782
>and the two of them work together to produce the chaotic, intense sounds of electronic music

My rump is plump, my rump is very plump
My rump is plump, my rump is very plump
>I touch her rump, it's plump, it very-very plump
>I smoosh her rump, it's plump, it very-very plump
>Check it out!

My rump so plump it can't be tamed
I check it as a luggage on the train
My rump so plump that all I want
Is bump the world (is bump the world)

My rump so plump it fills the sky
Every day a princess makes it rise
My rump so plump it's under you
it swallows you (it swallows you)
>>
File: dong ding.jpg (62KB, 492x693px) Image search: [Google]
dong ding.jpg
62KB, 492x693px
>>27160955
>>
File: 46tfgs3.png (517KB, 1043x1024px) Image search: [Google]
46tfgs3.png
517KB, 1043x1024px
>>27160782
>>Ponies always DID think it was weird that she lived with a mare like Vinyl.
>>They sometimes thought that Octavia wasn't really happy there, and rumours of a poor financial situation brought on by her divorce spread around town.
>>But Octavia wasn't trapped in that house with Vinyl.
>>Vinyl was trapped in there with Octavia.

non-consensual filly-fooling.
>>
>>27161331
It isn't non-consensual if the filly likes it but she just doesn't know it yet.
>>
Do you think mares in RGRE watch stallion on stallion porn like guys watch lesbian porn?
>>
I liked that one prompt where jockey Anon gets to Equestria with his horse, who is now a pony
>"He did WHAT?!"
>>"Yeah! Master used to ride me for miles!"
>"Daaamn, mare. You are so lucky to have a colt who lasts that long."
"I'm standing RIGHT HERE."
>>
>>27161379
Yes, but poneland porn just involves belly rubs and snuggles. If you want the real nasty stuff, go to the back of the store where they sell tapes showing raspberries on tummies
>>
>>27161379
There is a very successful comic series involving the palace guard and their teambuilding exercises.
>>
>>27160982
no sir
i think you are the stupid one

read it again
>>
>>27161494
What do you expect from anon

>>27161048
fell off http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i63cgUeSsY0
>>
>>27160982
>properly written green
Oh fuck off. There are no hard rules to green writing except what looks good. Hint: Not what that newfag writer did.
Come back when you've lurked enough to understand competent greentexting.
>>
>>27161048
>it swallows you (it swallows you)
Vore thread was baleeted. Don't start.
>>
>>27160874
>playing CLANG engineers
>>
>>27161384
Now that's interesting. Someone should get on that.
>>
>>27161384
That's a whole story, somewhere. I don't know where, but it exists. Anyone got a link?
>>
>>27161509
>Little Big - Big Dick
Well that's enough internet for me today.
>>
>>27161494
Yeah, I'm going to have to agree with this guy. You guys can't type for shit.
>>
>>27161515
Which newfag writer?
>>
>>27161384
That sounds cute.

Reminds me of that fimfiction story that never really went anywhere and his horse was still a horse.
>>
>>27161555
>"Old man Anon? Tell us a story!"
"Back in my day, a man was a man, and a horse was still a horse."
>"That's racist, Anon."
>>
>>27161515
Holy shit, you are even more retarded than the guy you chewed out.

>>27161521
I forgot about vore. This does sound bad...

>>27161531
>Ponies recognize the telltale signs of Stockholm syndrome on the poor mare
>Save her from her life of slavery
>Anon gets a slaver's death because ponies are not fucking teletubbies.
>>
>>27161641
>Anon gets a slaver's death because ponies are not fucking teletubbies.
No, you silly goose.
>Ponies recognize the telltale signs of henpeckedness on the poor mare
>Do nothing because Anon is just a crazy colt
>Everyone has a good laugh while Anon beats her to death
>>
File: inigo1.jpg (55KB, 500x432px) Image search: [Google]
inigo1.jpg
55KB, 500x432px
>>27161641
>"Hello. My name is Horsewaifu. You killed my master. Prepare to die."
>>
File: image.jpg (52KB, 755x542px) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
52KB, 755x542px
>>27161641
>Not teletubbies
>Y7 rating
Ok
>>
>>27161709
>"I can give you anything you want and more!"
"I want my master back, you daughter of a bastard."
>>
>>27161700
>>Do nothing because Anon is just a crazy colt
Looks pretty close to a DDog, and they don't get privileges.

>>27161709
>>"Hello. My name is Horsewaifu
>Her actual name is "My Wife Knows Everything"
>>
>27161710
Everybody be on their best behavior, we've got target audiences over here.
>>
>>27160626
I know you wanted an anal senpai, but instead you get ME. IT WAS ME ALL ALONG, ANON.

>Be Octavia
>Frowning
>....fucking sakes, couldn't this town just... put these cafes a little closer to the playground?
>You squint - maybe, maybe he's the-
>*paf*
>Your ear flicks, but you pay no attention
>Th-THERE. There! Th...
>You sigh
>He's put on a little weight, but he's growing very well. At least that FUCKING HOMEWRECKER is actually taking care of him
>Aww... he's got his mane back in a little scrunchy
>*paf*
"Vi, I'm trying to see my son."
>"Yeah, I get that sis, but if he catches you lookin' at him with that scowl he'll fuck off-"
>You sigh and adopt a neutral look, watching your colt dive into the sandbox with a couple of his friends
"Thanks..."
>"No sweat."
>It's been 8 months since the finalization
>That FUCKING WHORE TIME TURNER took YOUR SON and FUCKED OFF TO THE COUNTRY
>"Manehatten is no place for a growing colt!"
>"He'll be taken when I turn my head!"
>"You only hang out with other mares! My boy needs better!"
>The jackass
>....no racism
>*paf*
"Ugh."
>"You're makin' that face again, Octy." Vinyl smirks, wadding up another napkin to toss at your head. "Stop living so hard in the past-"
"Vinyl... I just. I don't mind the alimony, we both make enough-"
>"Shit, I still do, you ain't got-"
"We BOTH make enough, but... he took my son, Vinyl. He took little Treble just as he was getting big-"
>You hear a sigh, and th-
"FUCK"
>You have a small seizure as a wadded up napkin is SHOVED DOWN YOUR EAR
"You ASS-"
>Vinyl laughs, and you turn your attention to the table
>You can't be mad
>She's... she's your sis
>If you were gonna herd with anyone, it'd be her
>Best friends since music school, she just dropped everything and moved out here with you
>....for what?
>What are you hoping to do, Octavia? Seriously.
>You travel 20 weeks out of the year, you practice with the other 32....
>Maybe that judge was right
>Maybe you aren't fit to be a mothe-
>>
>>27161813
M V P
V P
P
>>
>>27161813
>"Oi. That's enough of that. You get upped visitation due to us moving to flankfuck, equestria, right?"
>You nod
>"So then it's not all bad. Take what you can get, we'll fight for more later - alternating weekends is better than 2 weeks a year. But let him... yanno. Breathe."
"...I hate you for making sense. They made him testify, Vi. They fucking brought 'im up-"
>"Hey. Heeeey. Stop. Seriously, something's gotten into you recently. Is spring hitting you that hard?"
>Your lip twitches, and Vi grins
>"Oh, oh wow, I heard it's so much worse once you pop your first one out-"
"You are absolutely disgusting, Vinyl-"
>"Like, did you just squat and grunt and he just tumbled ou-"
>Growling, you pick up the napkins and launch them all back at your friend, causing her absolutely horrid comments to stop in laughter
>The cunt
>The absolutely lovable cunt
>You sigh, and the waiter slides by, dropping off your salads
>Aah. Rose. Light, yet filling.
>You start to dig in, noticing Vinyl hasn't moved
>Huh... wait
>You smile in your bowl and wait
>5....
>4...
>3.
>2-damnit
>The human, Anonymous, walks by the square, arms filled with some paperwork or some such
>Seems your internal timing was a bit early
>Swallowing, you clean your muzzle with a napkin
>Yanno. Using it for it's actual purpose
"Vinyl... you know, if he catches you lookin' at him like that he'll fuck off-"
>You grin and Vinyl snaps her gaze to you, frowning. "Shutup. He's just..."
"Awkward? Tall? Surprisingly lewd? Probably a serial killer-"
>"He's fucking perfect!" Vinyl cries out, raising her hooves up
"Shenanigans. You just like that all his eye candy is at eye level-"
>"Ok, NOW who's being the lewd one here?" Vinyl quips, quirking an eyebrow
"Fine, fine. I'm just-"
>"I know. You're burned out on colts - but I'm not... and hell, one of us has to bring in a boy if we're gonna make this work."
>You nod softly before her words catch up to you, a deep blush spreading across your face
>>
>>27161920
"V-VINYL. Are you i-insinuating th-"
>Vinyl's chuckle interrupts your whispershouting. "Shit, mare. Why the hell do you think I left everything to join you? You put up with my quirks, like hell I'm going to try to join a herd I can't be myself in."
>You blink, that blush not going away
"D-does...does this mean th-"
>"Nooooooo. I'm not gonna be a rebound. You just... get set right, and then we'll figure it out. Just like I'd like to figure out that colts' pants-"
>You turn to see that Anon's lost some papers and he's-
>Celestia help you he's bending at the waist
>Just
>You angrily devour your salad
>Great
>Hormones, Hunger, Hatred and Hope
>This is gonna be a GREAT fucking day.

>BE ANON
>Horses don't believe in binder clips
>You will bring in your superior office supplies one of these days and RULE THEM
>YOU WILL RULE THEM WITH BINDER AND PAPER CLIPS
>Sighing, you squat, chasing after the last few papers
>Or... you would, if there wasn't a light red glow around a few of them
"Uh...?"
>"I-it's mY-"
>You turn to your squeaking paper savior, a white unicorn with piercing red eyes
>"MY p-pleasure, Anon."
>She ends with a winning(tm) smile, which on her face looks more like a rictus grin
"Thhhhhanks."
>You smile softly and take the papers from her magical grip
>....why did your fingers glow red for a moment
>Ignoring the gentle caress that you're now CERTAIN just happened, you restack your papers
>"S-so, uh, I was wondering if you wanted to go to Club 5 ton-"
"I'm really happy you helped me out, but clubs aren't really my scene-"
>"O-oh! W-well we don't have to go! I mean, I just, uh-"
>The unicorn mumbles something, kicking her hooves against the ground
>You sigh internally
>Alright. Just save her pride and move on
"I'm sorry. What was that?"
>"I-I just..." she looks up at you, eyes slightly wet. "I'm just... not good at this, but you're one of the most handsome colts I've ever seen. I was just hoping to spend a little more time with you, that's all."
>>
>>27161920
Keep going we don't have any octavia stories, much less a good one.
>>
>>27162027
>Confidence decreases as distance to crush decreases
Yes.
>>
>>27162027
>You can tell your mouth is hanging open because it's suddenly dry
>You swallow, blinking a couple times
>That was surprisingly honest.... and touching
"I uh...w-well..."
>shit why are you blushing
"I get off work a-at uh, at 6... Mayor's office. Would you like to get coffee?"
>She seems as taken back as you that her flirting worked, and her eyes grow wide
>Her beautiful, ruby-red eyes
>"Uhh, uhh.... uhhh......"
>You look around
>FUCK WHY ARE YOU BOTH SUDDENLY AWKWARD
"Th-there. That cafe over there-"
>You nod your head to where you assume a good joint is
>Hell, there's just this one earth pony sitting alone outside
>OH SHIT IT'S A SHIT JOINT WHY DID-
>"Y-yeeee. Ye."
"Y-you too."
>FUCK
>Holding the straightest face you've ever had, you spin on your heels and powerwalk away
>The spaghetti is too strong
>But you've got a date??
>At 6????
>....FUCK YOU DIDN'T SPECIFY WHAT DAY FUCK
"I MEAN TONIGHT, OK?"
>WHY ARE YOU YELLING
>DON'T LOOK KEEP GOING
>"AAAHKAAAY." she replies

>You are Octavia Dulcet Philharmonica
>Holy shit that worked?!

>You are Vinyl Scratch
>HOLY SHIT THAT WORKED
>THE MARES ON 4CLOVER WERE WRONG
>You just... TALK to colts
>And they respond!
>Your mind is fucking blown
>Wait, did he just blow you?
>....shit wait does that mean you have to blow him now too?
>H-how does this work?!
>You were the beep boop music nerd
>Computers are your thing, not colts!
>Why is your vision blurri-OH LUNA YOU'RE HAVING A SEIZURE

>You are Octavia again
>You're shaking Vi because she's been standing in the middle of the road, mouth open, drooling for about 5 minutes
"Would you fucking Get. With. It-"
>"OCTY!"
"Gah!"
>You jump back as Vinyl swings around to you
>"I-I, I have a date! I have a date with HIM!"
>You smile and shake your head
"I saw that. What the actual fuck-"
>"Does this mean I have to deepthroat him?"
"What the actual FUCK?"
>>
>>27161813
BNWF noticed me.
>>
>>27162110
Keep going BNW. You always deliver and leave me sitting here with a big smile. And the occasional boner.
>>
>>27162110
Does Octavia's name get more complex with each writefag?
>You are Octavia Philharmonica Trumpet Violin Helicopter Tuba Melody, and yes
>>
>>27162110
>"I mean, he blew my mind, so I ju-"
>You're about to lay into your friend about how NOT to get arrested on your first date when a soft, warm voice pipes up
>"M-mommy?"
>Vinyl shuts her damn mouth and moves to the side, and you smile warmly
>Covered in sand, scrunchy hanging limply at the back of his mane is Treble Clef
"H-hey there, sport."
>You crouch down, giving him a light nuzzle.
"How're you doin' today?"
>Eyes shining, he starts babbling at you the only way a 5 year old can
>You nod and add in the "ah" and "uh-huhs" and encouragement that you can
>It's just... a few precious moments stolen away, and you're cherishing him - it. It.
>. . . your heart hurts so much
>"an' then a potato was on the counter but cheeriee says its a special one know why?"
"Hmm?"
>"cause it'll GROW! An so we get to garden an' Bimmac gonna help digs and-"
>"Treble, honey! Come back away from those mares."
>You smile becomes forced as your Ex makes a very unwanted appearance
"T-Time Turner. Hello. I was having lunch-"
>"I can tell - it's still on your face. I just don't care. You don't get Treble until next Sunday, so, leave." Time Turner curtly responds, narrowing his eyes at you.
>You would kill this colt
>No, you will. His body can fit in your cello case, you travel the world - just over the side of a ship, nopony would kno-
>a hoof on your shoulder snaps you out of your thoughts, and you look down at little Treble, who's looking up at you with a questioning look
>he's studying your face
>. . .
>You smile once again
"Treble, it's ok. It was nice hearing your story about the potato, but listen to your father-"
>"As you SHOULD."
>...breathe, mare
"a-and go back and play. We'll hang out later, ok?"
>Treble nods, cantering back to the playground
>Apparently he's old enough to read the atmosphere, because he doesn't stop until he's far and away from the three of you
"....was that actually necessary, Turner? It was just a fe-"
>"I don't care."
>>
>>27162216
Goddamnit BNW, again with the bitchy stallions
>>
>>27162216
ignore the above comment BNW.

continue.
>>
>>27162216
"I don't c- Turner, the colt is barely 5, he doesn't need to be dragged through thi-"
>"No, I don't care what your excuse is, or reason. You don't see him for another week; if you're too stupid to follow court orders I can always get a restraining order from the ponice. Now I don't want you or your broke degenerate friend-"
"Degenerate?! You ungrateful limp-dicked swine-"
>"Oi oi oi. Vinyl, he's not worth it-"
>"Honey, I'm worth more than you can afford-"
>Vinyl turns as she starts nudging you away. "Last I checked, two items off the dollar menu at Burger Queen was well within my pay grade, Turner."
>"Y-you loose cun-"
>"Aaaand we're off."
>Vinyl's turned you fully away from your HORRIBLE BLOOD-SUCKING TRAMP OF AN EX, and you make your way back to the cafe
>...you're going to kill him
>You're just going to
>"Hey... hey. Enough. Ignore him, help me."
>You look at Vinyl, hard, before sighing
"....don't blow him on the first date, Vinyl."
>"O-ok... ok... but like, do I present so he knows what I've got, or-"
****
>'You are Time Turner
>And you're a smarmy cunt
>You know everypony hates you, but you just don't care
>And you have a tiny dick and can only last 5 pumps and-'
>A white hoof gently rests ontop of yours, pushing the pencil down. "It's time to stop writing, Octy."
>You growl at your journal, sliding it down the apartment's kitchen counter
>It bangs against the wall, flopping open
"It helps me just... get it out. My therapist-"
>"Wait, you have just ONE?"
"Ass. She says to write everything out to stop bottling it up-"
>"Or, or, or. You can do what I do, and doxx your ex."
>You sigh
"Maybe. But my son's living with him-"
>"Aaah, yeah. And internet mares are... weird."
"Mmm. So. It's almost 5:30... want to go down the checklist again?"
>"O-ok. I showered, twice."
"Excessive, but ok."
>"I have 50 bits on me, plus 20 for emergencies."
"Alright. Coffee is 2 bits at most, but, you never know-"
>"T-ten condoms and pepper spray-"
"Wh-no. No. Drop them both."
>>
>>27161494
I did. It is formatted like all the rest of LaP's stories and most of the stories I have read on this site. If anything the ones where every line is green look worse to me.
>>
>>27162337
What the fuck are you doing, drop the condoms and keep the spray. Murderapes are no joke.
>>
>>27161784
>improper post linking
Everybody be on your worst behavior, we've got a redditor over here.
>>
>>27162356
There are lines where Anon is speaking in green, even though there was no clarification such as using "you" afterwards.
>>
>>27162110
BNW, I will pay you real life money** to continue this. This is the best.

**will not actually pay real-life money
>>
>>27162280
Just the one; I want to show they didn't have a clean breakup.
>>27162288
Dubs demands, I obey.

>>27162337
>"B-but, what if he springs a leak?!"
"Dicks don't work like that-"
>"O-or what if we're mugged?!"
"It's afternoon, firstly, and secondly it's literally in the middle of town-"
>Vinyl looks at you intensely. "Groundhogs."
>You sigh
"Vinyl Scratch. You don't need either of those things-"
>"But-"
"Ok, say you do take them. What's more likely? Leaky-dicked Groundhogs mugging you in the middle of town, or Anon thinking you're going to mace him then rape him?"
>Vinyl blinks, then sheepishly puts the offending satchel on the counter
"Good. Now, let him order whatever he wants, you'll pay. Don't try to impress him by dropping bits; that just leads down a bad road."
>You lick your hoof and start fussing with Vi's hair
"Make small talk, mostly about him. Find out what he does, what he likes to do. If he wants to go to dinner, offer to go somewhere where you can get a value, but not cheap-"
>"So no dollar menu items-"
"Vinyl I will buck your head in if you take him to Taco Bell."
>"R-right. But chalupa-"
>You give her a look, and she grins. "Fiiine."
"And, try to break it off at 9 or so. Offer to take him to HIS house, don't push it. Be a gentlemare, but at the end ask for another date."
>"R-right. Ok. Break it off at 9 - if it feels right, right?"
>You muse
"Yeah... you don't want to keep him out forever. Since it's just coffee, don't... don't push it, alright?"
>She nods
>Both of you look at the clock
>5:45
"You should go. Be early."
>"R-right! Ok! OK. Date, with a cute colt. Right. Ok. ok."
>You smile, patting her on the shoulder
"Hey. You got this."
>"Y-yeah. Ok. Ok. Ok."
>Puffing her chest out, she trots to the door, swinging it open - striding triumphantly down the street
>You smile, then look at the table
>....you open the satchel
>....
"You forgot THE MONEY-"
>you hear a distant "RIGHT, FUCK" before the sound of galloping gets closer
>>
>>27162216
I demand blood-shed. Make Anon teach him a lesson.
>>
>>27162439
Samefag. Legit congrats to you, BNW. You've made me feel actual anger towards a fictional character. And I almost NEVER get angry. Fuck him up.
>>
>>27162432
>You are Anon
>Knees weak arms are heavy
>You're early but there's spaghetti already
>Mom's spaghetti
>.....
>OK FUCK
>You shake your head, the soft smile on your face feeling like a permanent fixture
>The office was curious as to what happened when you got back, but... don't start no gossip
>It's just coffee, after all
>But she just seemed so honest... it was refreshing!
>No more accidental dick-boops with muzzles
>Or catcalls
>Just an actual, honest pickup
>You sigh, rolling your shoulders
>The afternoon came and went, and now it's about 6:15 - you're lateish, but not too late
>Is it ok to be fashionably late?
>What IS horse dating etiquette?!
>You make your way to the main square, past the park - aah
>The cafe comes into view
>And right out front is a white unicorn, turning around in circles
>....oh shit you're so late
"H-hey! Hey!"
>You wave, and she turns to face you - the smile that spreads across her muzzle brightening up her whole countenance
>That's....so cute
>"H-hai! Eer, Hey!"
>She trots over to you, her smile wide and genuine.
>"Damn, colt - I thought you stood me up!"
>Your smile falters
>Oh shit you're a jackass

>You are Vinyl
>His smile and optimism: gone
>WHY DID YOU SAY THAT WHY DID YOU SAY THAT WHY DID-

"I-I, uh, I'm sorry. The Mayor kept me a little late, and-"
>"N-no, I just. I'm sorry. That was... that was weak of me to do that, bro-"
"Bro?"
>She winces. "E-er, not bro! Not bro, uh. Dude?"
>She runs her hoof through her mane, swallowing hard
"Anon is fine. I never did get your name, though-"
>"V-vinly. Vinly Skretch."
>You stare at her, and she coughs. "Aah, sorry. Had something, uh, in my throat."
>Sure you did
>"Vinyl Scratch. I'm a traveling DJ and Electronic Music Artist."
"Aaah. Well, I just shuffle paper about in the Mayor's office, but your stuff sounds much more interesting-"
>"R-really?!"
>You smile and nod, walking towards the coffee joint
"Yeah. Is that why you wanted to take me to that club?"
>"M-maybe?"
>>
>>27162548
Aww yee, we havin a spaghetti fest up in this bitch.
>>
>>27162548
>Anon goes to club with Vinyl
>Time Turner is there and recognises Vinyl
>Comes to the conclusion that they've formed a herd with Anon
>Begins to badmouth both mares, possibly by engaging in "colt talk"
>Anon's nobody's bitch and socks him in the mouth
>Time Turner retreats with four fewer teeth
>>
>>27162548
"Heh. Showing off so soon?"
>She blushes, pouting. "Why you gotta bust my bean like that?"
>Both of you are grinning at each other, though
>Yeah. Tonight's gonna be a great night
* * *
>*tick*
>inhale
>*tock*
>exhale
>*tick*
>You place the bow and drag out a slow, deep note
>Deeper than your sorrow
>Deeper than the abyss
>Slowly, you work it up
>A shaft of light in the darkness, dust motes playing innocently in oblivion
>The black turns to grey, like rainclouds
>A few more strings are brought to life, and a melody is formed
>The rain is present, but it's necessary.... it washes away everything
>From sorrow and blackness, the hope of spring and new growth
>The promise of green and life
>Of the future
>Your melody gets more complex as you pour your heart and soul into your cello, the one companion who always got you, who never left
>You smirk as a dirty thought crosses your mind
>The only hard wood that didn't have a headache-
>*BANG*
>You jump, the bow flying from your hooves
>What the fu-DID SOMEPONY KICK IN YOUR DOOR?!
>In a flash you grab your iron metronome, ready to launch it at the skull of a mare who's so stu-
>"AAAAOOOOIIIIII OK.TY."
"Oh fuck you're drunk."
>You leave your study, grumbling
"Vinyl Scratch you were supposed to get coffee, not get wasted! What would Anon think if he saw you like this after your... first..."
>The complaint dies in your throat
>Anonymous closes the door, turning to face you
>Vinyl's back hoof stretching out the fabric of his shirt
>The shirt that she's currently snuggled under?!
"Wh. Wh?"
>"Ah, sorry. She kicked before I could stop her..."
>"AHM THE BEST AT COFFEE." Vinyl crows, tilting her head back
>Anon tilts his head to the side, dodging her horn
"I-I'm so terribly, terribly sorry about this sir. Just put her down and don't call the ponice; I'll make sure she doesn't walk again-"
>He laughs, and you frown
>You were serious, damnit
>"How about this? Let's just drop her off in her bedroom, and we'll go from there."
>>
File: 1453307481245.jpg (61KB, 800x568px) Image search: [Google]
1453307481245.jpg
61KB, 800x568px
>>27162634
>"WHAT?!"
"YEAAH!"
BNW you da best.
>>
>>27162634
>You pour him a cup of coffee
>He takes his like you do; black, straight.
"So, first, I want to thank you for being an overall wonderful... uh-"
>"Human being."
"Yes, that. How exactly did my herdmate come to shame us so completely?"
>Anon laughs a deep laugh, sipping his coffee. "It's... it's interesting."
"Well. If you've got the time-"
>"I really should be going back-"
"Sir, it's nearly midnight. Please, we have a guest room, it's alright."
>Anon the human shrugs. "Alright. So, you want the story?"
>You nod
>You need to have this written down for the murder-suicide
>"Well. Basically, your little friend and I hit it off quite well. She's very nice once she opens up."
>He smiles... well that's a good thing
>"And apparently we hit it off so well, she wanted to have a few drinks."
"Oh... dear."
>"Mmm. I don't know if she needed the liquid courage or what - there were no condoms, so I think Vinyl wasn't doing anything underhanded-"
>Thank Celestia you caught that
>"But she ordered me a couple drinks, and apparently it turned into a drinking contest?"
>You blink slowly, and he shrugs
"....I don't really have words."
>"She's a cute drunk." he smiles, sipping his cup once more.
"Yes, but I hardly believe that's enough to warrant a second date!"
>"Mmmm, maybe, maybe not. I'm more curious to see what she'll do tomorrow morning. The awkwardness will be incredible."
>You smirk
"Indeed. If I wasn't so embarrassed myself, I'd relish it more..."
>"Well. Don't worry. I still had fun, she was a perfect gentlemare, and save for the vandalism-"
>Waitwhat
>"-everything is fine. But I do need to get up at 5, so-"
"Aah, right, this way. The guest bedroom is down that hall, 2nd door to your right. Bathroom's right across from it."
>He gets up, and you stand up as well
>Might as well have SOME courtesy in his night
>"Thank you very much, Miss Octavia. I hope you have a good night."
>You smile, giving him a little bow.
"You as well, Anonymous."
>>
>>27162432

>....you open the satchel
>....
"You forgot THE MONEY-"
>you hear a distant "RIGHT, FUCK" before the sound of galloping gets closer

>tfw you've done this before.

Fuckin that tickled my funny bone there BNW...
>>
>>27162718
>You are Anon
>and that little gray horse is full of shit
>You peek out from the "guest" room, able to quite clearly see her form sleeping on the couch
>Marely pride
>....
>sighing, you close the door and sit on her bed
>It's obvious it's a lived-in room
>The pictures are a dead giveaway
>dead giveaway
>You pick one up, noticing a somewhat-familiar colt
>Yeah you've seen this dude like everyday
>But, it's not with Octavia
>It's with 'single father' Time Turner, who escaped from an 'abusive relationship in the city'.
>One of your special cases, the little bastard asked for every single assistance that your office provides
>Housing, Food, inserted into schooling between seasons...
>You frown slightly
>All of these pictures in here are of Octavia and this colt...
>Hm.
>You place the photo down and lay on her bed
>Your knees hanging down, of course
>fucking tiny horse beds
>What... an interesting night you've had.
>Damnit.
>You sigh
"....why are you suddenly so interested?"
>No sleep tonight, it seems
---------------------------
>>27161813
>>27161920
>>27162027
>>27162110
>>27162216
>>27162337
>>27162432
>>27162548
>>27162634
>>27162718

WHY CAN'T I WRITE A ONE OR TWO POST ONE SHOT. WHY.

Alright. Anyway, this is GOING to be a short story, because I'm about halfway done with the damn thing now. I'm just stopping because...because I need to reevaluate my life choices.

Saving the text, will put it into paste once it's done. Story name suggestions are welcome.
>>
>>27162819
because you are the best BNW.

Name it "Just talk to him."
>>
>>27162819
>writes an amazing premise
>short story
Why do the gods hate us?
>>
>>27162819
GOod job, friendo. I'm a big fan of what you're doing with this prompt.

Suggestion: have his child taken away from him. Make him feel the same pain that he inflicted upon his mare. If he's a decent father and legitimately loves his son, then this will hurt more than anything else Anon could do to him.
>>
>>27162863
Short as in, like, 30 posts. Fuck you, I have 2 other epics going on.

>>27162836
I luv u 2, bby

>>27162668
u 3

>>27162422
u 4, cause of dubs.

>>27162359
das racist, yo.

>>27162172
>Octavia's name grows each time she's addressed
>Eventually her name takes longer to say than the universe will exist
>Tfw the heat-death of the universe happens before you know why that colt wanted to talk to you


>>27162439
>>27162478
>>27162599
There will be no blood. That's a brutish and simple revenge, temporary at best, with repercussions at worst. You've got to think better.
>>
>>27162944
>>Octavia's name grows each time she's addressed
Much like pi, Octavia's name in infinite and theoretically contains every single combination of letters possible. In her name is the code that brought the universe into being
>>
>>27162944
So, smoke and mirrors style of intrigue to bring to light that Time Turner only wants to twist the metaphorical knife in his ex's back and cares nothing about his colt? Social ostracization once the whole town finds out? Banned from spas and beauty salons due to the aforementioned info getting around?
>>
>>27162977
Nah we just gon beat the shit out of him
>>
Fuck work. I finally feel like writing and I'm gonna.

>"So, then, like. My friend, the one with the curly mane? Told me that HIS friend told him that he was at the restaurant, y'know?"
"Uh huh."
>"Yeah, you get me, colt. Now, his friend was, like, ordering a salad. Right? And the waitress there-wait, wait, this is the really bucked up part. The waitress there? She had the GUTS to ask him if he wants his salad with dressing or not. SALAD! Any mare should know that a colt on diet would never have dressing!
"Suuure."
>Be Anon
>This is fucking torture
>You could've just lived in the castle with the princesses, but noooo, you had to show that you're independent and get a job
>With no working experience here
>And now, you are stuck working at poneland's equivalent of Forever 21, listening to your co-worker all day
>"So that's that, right? Anyways, I-"
>His regular rantings are cut off by a beep
>"Ah, Celestia-damnit. Nonny, can you do me a solid? I have a date with a REAALLLY cute mare in, like, 20 minutes. Can you just cover my shift for me? I know it's going to be, like, super boring cause it's the time where nopony comes, but can you just do it for a bro?"
"Sure. Oh wait what the fuck-"
>"EEEEE thanks colt! You're the best!"
>He gives you a quick hug and leaves in a blur
>FUCK
>Your shift was ending soon, and now you have to stay for 2 more hours
>AT THE OFF-PEAK TIMES, NO LESS!
>There was a new episode of that new animoo airing today!
>That bastard is gonna pay when you next see him
>>
>>27163183
aww yeah
even more greens
>>
>>27163183

>You sigh and return to the register
>No use crying over split milk
>As the time went by, less and less colts frequented the store
>You counted, and Back in Black has now looped in your head for the 50th time now
>God, how did cousin Incognito stand working in retail?!
>Oh, look, no stallion came by to interrupt your thoughts this time
>Must've started already, what the employees refer to as "The Dead Silent Hours"
>Pretty self-explanatory, actually, but you didn't expect ponies to be good at naming shit to begin with
>You walk away from the register ,take a seat near the dressing rooms, and wait
>Some of the workers here have a escape from the boredom, called "ditching work", but you're not gonna do that
>You are a man who follows his duties, no matter how filled with bullshit it is!
>You hear a ding from the doors
>What the heckles
>Who the hell could be coming in at this time?
>You look over
>Huh
>It's a mare, very rare to see here
>Did you just rhyme in your head?
>The song magics must be getting to you
>Whatever, she's just probably lost, and you can go back to sitting around when she's out of here
"Hello, miss. Welcome to Et Cetera, Et Cetera. How may I help you today?"
>>
>>27163314

>The mare adjusts her wide-framed glasses
>"Y-You too, m'sir."
"Excuse me?"
>"I MEAN. Hi, I'm looking, for. Umm, clothes for a friend! Yeah! Clothes for a friend."
>Just, don't question it, Anon. Crazies are a thing, and sometimes you have to deal with them
"Alright, then. The section for mares is over there."
>You point to the pink sign where all the dresses are
>"Actually, ehh. How do I say this."
>She tugs on her turtleneck
>"My friend is a...colt, and I'm going to get colt clothes for him."
>What
>Then why doesn't he just...fuck it
"OK? Well, follow me, miss. I'll show you what we have here for colts."
>You walk over to the selection of suits, and you hear small "woah" and "wow"s coming out of her every once in a while as she follows you, looking around like a kid in a candy store
>You stop at a rack of dress shirts
"Do you see anything you need?"
>"Are there any that fit my size?"
>>
>>27163397
Eugh, retail. I remember my own stint there.

>"Are there any that fit my size?"
ABORT, ABORT.
Get out while you can, Anon!
>>
File: 1422742030357.png (1MB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]
1422742030357.png
1MB, 1920x1080px
>>27162110
Your Vinyl is too fucking fun. I like her, she's cute.
>>
>>27163397

>OK, we're heading into danger territory here
>You raise an eyebrow
>"Uhh, my friend is very skinny! He's very tiny for a colt, and my measurements just happen to match his!"
>She's sweating bullets
>Yup, she's buying colt clothing for herself, nothing to hide there
>But it would be fun to mess with her
"Yes we do, actually. Lets seee. Ah! here."
>You pick out a collection of XS attires
"These should fit you, oh sorry, your FRIEND well."
>She cringes at the bit where you said "friend"
>"T-Thanks."
"Would you like to try them on?"
>"HUH?! N-No! I'm sure these are good! I'll just bring it home-I mean to him and it'll be all good!"
"Are you sure? I mean, what if it's the wrong size? You said you share measurements with him. Why not just try it on?"
>You're pretty sure her face can't be any more red than they can be right now
"There's not gonna be anyone other than you coming in here, so it's fine, right? I wont judge, because I know it's for, your, FRIEND."
>She just stands there in silence
>"I guess it's fine to wear them," she whispers
>>
>>27162337
>>"Honey, I'm worth more than you can afford-"
>>Vinyl turns as she starts nudging you away. "Last I checked, two items off the dollar menu at Burger Queen was well within my pay grade, Turner."
#rekt
>>
>>27163535

>Hook, line and sinker
>You clap your hands together
"Great! Dressing rooms are over there. Just holler if you need anything."
>"O-OK."
>You watch her slowly enter the room
>Dis goin be gud
>A few minutes pass, you hear her call out
>"I-I think I'm good here."
"Is everything fitting?"
>"...Yes."
"Can you please come out and show me?"
>"..."
>Damn, she's not complying
>Use the skills you've learned from retail, Anon!
"A male knows how to dress proper, and I think you should show me whether everything will be good for your FRIEND or not."
>Again, silence
>The door creaks open, and she steps out, dressed in a tiny business suit
>D'aww, she's all embarassed
>>
>>27163589

"Hmm, everything seems fine here."
>"Really?"
"Yeah! For a second there, I almost mistook you for a stallion!"
>A little glimmer appears in her purple gaze
>"Yes! I mean, let's just...check out."
"Alright. I think everything's in order, too. Just take those off and I'll see you at the register."
>She hurries back into the dressing room and rushes back out in mere seconds
>She's REALLY excited about this
>It's actually kind of funny, seeing her getting this happy over clothing
>You run everything over and remove the magic alarm tags
"Do you need a bag for this?"
>"YES."
"Okey Dokey, that will be 82 bits," you reply as you begin to pack up everything
>She hands over a few coins and nearly bolts out of the store after RIPPING the bag out of your hands
>"Okthankyouseeyou!"
>You have a feeling that she'll be visiting here very soon

And that's it for now. I dunno what , but I just thought writing about crossdressing Moonie would be interesting.
>>
File: forrgrecadancelovers.png (1MB, 1280x650px) Image search: [Google]
forrgrecadancelovers.png
1MB, 1280x650px
>>27157904
Daily reminder, candy butt is a shit
>>
>>27162977
>>27163131
whynotboth.png
>>
>>27163869
wut?
>>
>>27163183
>friendcolt finds out that somepony peed on/in his horseshoes
>they cost him 300 bits and now they're RUINED
>What will he accessorize with now?
>>
>>27163700
Drag princess sounds adorable.
>>
>>27163904
If I had to guess, teen mom keeps dead fetus, preserves it, and treats it like a beloved daughter.
The voices start later, and as well as the blood offerings.
>>
>>27163700
That was adorable. Crossdressing mares are something I haven't read about before. Good work, Louis CK
>>
>>27159128
Newfag detected
>>
>>27163535
>"There's not gonna be anyone other than you coming in here, so it's fine, right? I wont judge, because I know it's for, your, FRIEND."
laying it on pretty thick kek
>>
>>27160919
>doing anything with warheads
>ever
CLANG
>>
>>27164387
>"No, hey, come on. Why not? It's just you and me here, and it'll be your chance to see if anything's too baggy or too tight."
>>
>>27163700
I'm glad BNW took a break. I needed this sweet before the feels.
>>
WHEN
https://derpibooru.org/images/1137610
>>
File: 98741532.png (1MB, 600x1800px) Image search: [Google]
98741532.png
1MB, 600x1800px
>>27164761
>>
>>27164986
>Holding hands while making love
3lewd5me
>>
File: 1418049605537.jpg (40KB, 385x352px) Image search: [Google]
1418049605537.jpg
40KB, 385x352px
>>27164761
See>>27152196
>>
File: 14604577090810.jpg (45KB, 574x459px) Image search: [Google]
14604577090810.jpg
45KB, 574x459px
>>27164761
Never.
>>
File: 1461346970453.png (1MB, 1187x1495px) Image search: [Google]
1461346970453.png
1MB, 1187x1495px
>>27165078
>>27165114
W
H
E
N
https://derpibooru.org/1134043?scope=scpeda3fb1252096b2df522bb56ed14402394a69ed5c
>>
File: bN37NFs.gif (109KB, 205x260px) Image search: [Google]
bN37NFs.gif
109KB, 205x260px
>>27165136
Anon pls, I can't take much more.
>>
What's with all the dragon hate here? Honest question. I haven't seen any other dragon waifu that's had such a terrible response to it.
>>
>>27165142
We seem to have one to two guitars who hate scallies for some reason and they are very vocal about it. When the first ember threads came up he was already complaining and saying mlp was no place for scalies
>>
>>27161576
>"That's racist, Grandpa."
FTFY
He gets confused sometimes.
>>
>>27165188
so an autist

this board attracts a lot of those it seems
>>
>>27165142
What hate?
Only replies I've seen here are 'PORN WHEN?' and 'WRITE IT FAGGOT'.
>>
>>27165142
Because nobody wants to write her, no matter how much you spam her porn.
>>
File: 1460835695926.jpg (60KB, 619x745px) Image search: [Google]
1460835695926.jpg
60KB, 619x745px
>>27165256
why so butthurt friend

were you bit by a lizard when you were little
>>
>>27165256
This. There's nothing inherently interesting about her character; she's just teen tsundere #32952 wearing dragon cos.

It doesn't matter how many links to porn of her he puts up, she's just boring.
>>
File: 1368714516732.jpg (287KB, 988x1500px) Image search: [Google]
1368714516732.jpg
287KB, 988x1500px
>>27165359
>he says, as a story about two background ponies was just posted
It's time to stop posting.
>>
File: lGiX9Fr.png (17KB, 626x624px) Image search: [Google]
lGiX9Fr.png
17KB, 626x624px
>>
>>27165142
I usually just ignore the dragon spammers. I figure they're just trying to start shit.

To your question, though, I find MLP dragons to be kinda bland. They don't fit with the cutsie character design of the show art, and the writing and lore around their in show depictions doesn't grab me. I prefer more classic depictions of dragons, where they're big, smart, scary forces of nature.
>>
>>27165386
There's nothing inherently interesting about most background ponies either, outside of some good choices for character art and design. Even with that caveat, you're still partially right.

I read green to see what the writers do with those designs. So spamming links to art isn't going to get me interested in writing about her.

Her in show depiction is solid enough that I know what her character is like, and it bored me. Sure, I or someone else could rewrite her, but I don't find anything about her engaging.

Having said all that, I think sleepy's dragon green was pretty fun and if she showed up in that I'd be okay with it.

Other than that, though? I have to agree with >>27165402. MLP dragons are pretty meh.
>>
>>27165386
>>27165268
Write the story then if she is so great.
No amount of porn will make people want to write about a character.
So be the change you want to see, write a story starring Ember and make sure it is RGRE enough and we will fucking read that story.
>>
File: Especially this one.jpg (121KB, 677x801px) Image search: [Google]
Especially this one.jpg
121KB, 677x801px
>>27162973
Don't be silly, it just contains every single combination of musical related terms possible.
>>
>>27161384
Link? Pretty please?
>>
>>27164761
>>27165136
I'm halfway inclined to write about ember, but I need more than just "And Anon fugged her like a bug in a rug". Give me an interesting prompt that uses reversed gender roles.
Also, I've seen both of the gifs before, so linking them again does nothing for me.
>>
>>27166018
Well how about this, along the way to the dragon lands, Anon accompanies Spike as a bros before hoes type thing. This of course causes the two unicorns to neigh about it being dangerous, but Anon turns it around saying that Spike HAS to go and bros always cover each others backs.

Upon arrival there Dragon Lord spots Anon and asks what a minotaur is there, some quick thinking on Anons' part lets the Dragon Lord think that he is Spike's property as a part of his hoard. This gets Spike some cred as a dragon as slave taking is a classical dragon past time for their horde, how else you gonna shine dat gold. Moving on, since your hoard is a part of you Spike can use Anon as help to attempt the challenge. Cue Scene on the island and instead of it being a series of covering each other Anon just bulks up and wrestles with Garble until he submits.

This in turn flusters Ember and makes Spike go Awww yeah whose got the best bro around and high fives are exchanged.

At that point Spike and Ember go do their thing since Anon has no wings.

Rest of the episode continues and near the end after making Ember dragon lord she asks Spike if he's willing to part with Anon so he can be a part of her hoard. He's very...valuable.

Inb4 cucking spike, again. But he's just a baby/kid dragon who knows, I just gave prompt if its good?
>>
>>27165677
>>27134155
>>
>>27166040
meh
>>
>>27166018
The newest dragonlord comes to Equestria for a diplomatic visit, and runs into Anonymous while there. After witnessing a few instances of ponies trying to force the "standard" gender roles on Anonymous (which he all but ignores in favor of doing things his way,) Ember decides to ask him what the heck is going on, because pony culture is weird and new to her, and he isn't acting like the other males around the place.

She and Anon bond over shared gender role apathy (with dragons, only strength and capability matters, gender is irrelevant) and then they fuck. And they make a mess of Twilight's/Celestia's/Luna's/Cadence's guest bedroom, because one's an alien omnivore and the other's a fire-breathing lizard.
>>
>>27166040
Needs some work. There's next to no rgre elements, just an elaborate way to get Anon into ember's metaphorical pants.

Some things need to be addressed in a good ember prompt:
1) Why is Anon, a single male, in dragon territory? What pressures from the dragon lands or from pony society are making him travel there? As an aside, it's probably easier to get Anon there if Ember is already Dragonlord, and is using some treaty or something.
2) In what ways are the dragons a matriarchal society? Especially since they had a male Dragonlord before, and there were quite a few males as well as females in the gauntlet of fire. Is Dragonlord a figurehead position with a council of females actually governing? This is one of my main difficulties with writing rgre for a character from the episode. The dragons are canonically pretty gender equivalent.
3) What does Anon do in the dragonlands? Is he a slave, a craftsman, an ambassador, a spy?
>>
>>27166085
That's just the same "an then they fug" prompt that >>27166018 was complaining about.
>>
>>27166107
Maybe the dragons are an equal society and that is why Anon goes there in the first place? Anon being fed up with weird horse rules and fucking off to a country where things work differently is pretty tried and true here. And since the ponies are acquainted with the new dragonlord, there would be plenty of excuse for them to come to the dragon lands to try and convince anon to come back/ figure out why he left.
>>
>>27166085
This has some potential. So, what does Anon do, that he would show up as part of the reception for the diplomatic party?
>>
>>27166107
I did throw it together while stomach was trying to kill me, so I can see your point.

PLus I don't really have much to run off of for dragons aside from lots of headcannon things that probably be rejected at the get go.

I do like the list of points you gave out though, the first point on Ember being in ponylands might be the equivalent of being a diplomatic visit to check in on a friend or something. Could the dragonlord vs council type thing work like the way native americans used to do it? You had the guy in charge of physical things and things of dominant things; hunting, fishing, defending the tribe etc. Then you have the great mother/shamen whose usually a women most the time and acts as the caretaker of the tribe in all matters spiritual and in helping govern over the people...

I don't know it's hard to think and brain is dead.

>>27166085
Are the curtains at least spared? I think Rarity would be fine with everything else, but her limited edition royal purple drapes with crystals would make her shed a tear of marely sorrow.
>>
>>27166120
The problem here is, the ponies would have to be the main rgre element, of which Anon would simply ignore because he likes it better in dragonlands. There would be little reason for Ember to show up, as well.
>>
>>27166124
Hmmm. I suppose it might depend on where it takes place. In Canterlot Castle, perhaps Anon is just along due to being friends with Twilight and Co., or he could have been "given" a token ambassadorial role as the sole member of his species and expected to be a "good little stallion" who does essentially nothing, driving the "hard-working mares" nuts as he keeps trying to do "marely things" all the time.

If it's set in Ponyville, I'd expect he simply lives there - it'd certainly offer more variety of "dangerous" and "un-stallionly" activities for him to keep doing.
>>
What if Dragons had similar gender roles as Earth, but for different reasons?
Like, males were expected to go out for loot and food because they're more lithe, while female dragons maintain the hoard and lair because they're stronger and thus can kick the ass of anyone who wants to steal from it as well as being the best suited to protect eggs.
After all, the amount of shinies any given venture will add to a hoard likely pales in comparison to the value of the hoard itself. So you want the most powerful one to guard that.

Meaning that they'd see stallions as the stronger of the two because they stay and maintain the home and hearth. So rather than just making it different for Anon alone, make it different for everyone. It could also explain why they talk down to ponies so much, considering most of the ones they encounter outside of a castle are females and thus must be too weak to guard a hoard.

Anon could be the only one who rolls with it and isn't freaked out.
>>
>>27166207
>What if Dragons had similar gender roles as Earth
Then I'd suggest you post in AiE or make a dragon general.
>>
If there are so many of you that are so dragon happy, why don't you make a general? You're always asking for dragon related content, so wouldn't it make more sense to have that all in one place?

These prompts you're throwing out don't have much to anything to do with RGRE, you're just tacking on those elements so you can stay in thread. The point, obviously, is muh dragons. So why not go make a thread where you can do all things dragon, free of the need to discuss reverse gender roles?
>>
File: 1455858079172.gif (446KB, 300x186px) Image search: [Google]
1455858079172.gif
446KB, 300x186px
>>27166248
>>
>>27166248
This, or at least go beg AiE for stories, this dragon shit isn't RGR enough.
>>
My best prompt idea wouls only work for Sleepys story as a non canon offshoot, maybe.

Ember, now older(since she was a teen when Spike was a kid) returns to visit her old School and teacher. She's surprised when she finds Spike there, and he invites her over so they can catch up. She meets Anon, and starts realizing how manly Spike is now. Connecting the dots, she decides to stick around for a few days to learn how Anon has influenced Spike to be so manly, and the dragons after Anon's dick get jelly, thinking she's going to swipe him from under them. Cue a series of more bold seduction attempts from the girls/them challenging Ember to draconic contests of womanlyness.

Ember may or may not take Anon for a ride, no commitment required.
>>
>>27166428
Shiet, guys I'm not feeling this story I was doing, how do I get my muse back? I left it somewhat in the middle of things for the catbird and fluttershy story, but I dont know what to do with it.

I did have some idea sorta planned out for the bbq thing they were planning to do but afterwards I'm at a lost on how to conclude it.

Any thoughts on what can get the old juices flowing again?

I somewhat want to write a bit for the martial arts thread because no one has written a story using the other prompt and I like fighting only no one to fight with.

At the same time I don't want to leave my sister's from other misters hanging you know what I'm sayin?
>>
>>27166496
Watch/read whatever genre you're writing about. Don't literally copy scenes or follow troupes, but get a grip on how it should play out.
>>
>>27165224
>Epona
Where's the part where Anon shoves carrots up her ass to make her run faster?
>>
>>27163914
>He assumes his roommate's dog did it
>Takes the dog to the vet and has it put down
>Doesn't tell the roommate
>>
>>27165638
Oh what the fuck? How'd you know that >>27162973 was me? Are you a wizard, Anon?
>>
File: moondancer_.png (193KB, 800x832px) Image search: [Google]
moondancer_.png
193KB, 800x832px
>>27166496
So, how much do you have figured out?
>>
Has anyone been updating the Google doc? I tried finding that scootaloo sun celebration story and couldn't find it.
>>
>>27166888
Trips wasted.
JK just look up Frosty's pastebin.
>>
>>27166834
I have the bbq and some of the fallout from that as well as the reactions more or less planned. What happens after that I don't really know I was just going off a random idea cuz I liked the idea of catbird getting some love, but I don't know how to romance when the Anon is kinda of the opinion of 'Lady I am twice your size, you have a literal pussy on your pussy and you tend to scratch everything in my house.'

Though that was from the original prompt as well of the Anon not wanting to be settled with Gilda to start.

ho-hum, what to do...

Could write more about different story ideas...I remember there being one idea for a ScoutAnon that wanted to teach colts how to really scout.But I did get a plot line set up for that martial arts thread too, but jeez it's huge idea and I don't want to start on something that I'm going to flake out on later...

>tfw out of ideas on what to write.
>>
>>27166899
Thanks man
>>
>>27166798
Pluggo, it's easy to recognize your style now we know that you lurk.
>>
>>27166993
shit
SHIT
Now everyone'll recognize me when I show my power level.
>>
>>27167263
This is why you do what I do and go dark for large periods of time so people go literally who!
Yeah, that's totally the reason why I do what I do...

>It’s early morning now.
>You wake up and stretch out of bed.
>Gotta love the weekends, you actually get to enjoy yourself for once.
>Might as well get the grill started up.
>Unlike back home where you have a thing designed to cook the meats, you have to build one yourself from scratch.
>The few bits of meat you get from Stoick in the town are pretty meager.
>Nothing worth grilling that’s for sure.
>Collecting a pile of firewood you pile it up next to your cooking area.
>It’s really just a spot where you’re going to dig the pit.
>Grabbing a shovel you start to dig into the ground with a satisfying crunch of dirt.
>You mind goes blank for a bit, enjoying the burn as you continue to work on making the pit.
>It’ll probably not be all that pretty, but it’ll do the job, hopefully.
>Oh who are you kidding you’re going by the seat of your pants here really…
>”Anon?”
>Tossing more dirt up on the steadily growing pile of dirt you ponder on Gilda’s reaction last night.
>That was pretty weird with the finger licking…
>”Sugarcube what are you doing?”
>Thunk.
>Come to think of it the things she could do with that tongue of hers..
>Down junior not the time to play.
>”...it colt will you listen?!”
“What?”
>Looking up from the shallow hole you look to see Applejack with a scrunched face.
>Daw
>>
>>27167399
“Oh, hey Applejack. What brings you round here?”
>Applejack huffs before taking a seat on the edge of your hole, “Fluttershy came round the farm talkin’ bout you startin’ a cook out thing. I figured it be fine to come over and help.”
“Well that be great actually. Wait what about the farm don’t you need to finish up the chores and all that?”
>Shaking her head Applejack scratches at her mane before answering, “Naw Big Mac said he’d handle it though he was tearin’ at the bit when I mentioned the cookout said he had plently of recipes he wanted ta share with ya.”
“Oh god, please no.”
>”What I thought that you colts loved to share recipes?”
“When I get the chance sure, but Big Mac, that pony takes things to the extreme when he cooks, if he wasn’t an apple I’d have thought he got a cookin butt mark.”
>”Anon, their called cutie marks.”
>You shrug before shoveling another load of dirt out.
“Potato, tomato.”
>>
>>27167408
>Applejack watches as you shovel a few more times before she clears her throat.
>Ignoring her you continue to shovel, until Applejack clears her throat with vigor this time.
“Cough drops are in the bathroom if you need them.”
>Applejack starts and frowns with her muzzle in a scrunch, “That ain’t what I was askin’ Sugarcube, was going to say you don’t need ta do that.”
>Stopping you plant the shovel in the ground and lean on it regarding the mare with a cocked eyebrow.
“Alright I’ll bite, why?”
>The little pony thrusts her chest out showing off the rather puffed up fur there, “Well I don’t know bout you, but I’ve dug my fair share of holes afore, figured I could do it for ya and all that.”
>You look at the overly proud pony then back over at the hole you’ve mostly completed, you could probably make it a bit deeper though.
>Memories of Smokey the Bear come to mind, “Remember Anon, only /you/ can prevent forest fires!”
>Thanks Smokey.
“Sure, go ahead and make it a bit deeper by a couple inches and round it out a bit.”
>Handing off the shovel you go to hunt down some thing to work as the grill for the bbq.

>Since you don’t have any spare metal racks lying about you decide to go full caveman.
>Collecting a few large rocks that are mostly flat you start to lay them around the fire.
>Applejack watches as you start to lay the rocks in place giving a few of them a good slaps to settle them in place, “I thought the pit was to keep the fire from burnin’ things?”
“It is, I’m just using the rocks as a grill really.”
>”Grill, like carrot dogs?”
>You double take at the mare’s innocent question.
“That’s a thing?”
>”Course it is! How do ya expect to do a cookout with carrot dogs?!”
>Still kneeling on the ground you just shake your head.
“Applejack, I’m cooking meat for this grill.”
>You watch as her ears briefly tilt back and you see her eyes widen, “Ah..uh…”
>>
>>27167415
“Didn’t Fluttershy mention that when she told you?”
>”W-well yeah of course, but I was rather busy bringing in yesterday’s harvest…”
>Reaching over you pause as Applejack stutter steps back only to catch herself to stop.
>Withdrawing your hand you hold down the bitterness inside as you force a smile out.
“Ah well, don’t worry I made other things that you guys can eat, pasta salad, potato salad all that good stuff.”
>Applejack can see right through your smile as she takes a step forward, her eyes unreadable to you, ”Anon, I…”


“So I guess we should go ahead and get the fire started it’s already getting close to noon after all!”
>Getting up from your spot you start to gather the kindling and busy yourself with the matches.
>Applejack stays in place for a moment before you can hear her sigh and start to help you set the fire up.
>Striking the match you had brought along you toss it amongst the loose grass and twigs watching it catch fire.
>Focused on the minutiae of tending the fire you remember why you live by yourself with only a few ponies coming over to visit sometimes.
>Ponies are scared of you.
>At first you thought it was just you being an alien amongst all these ponies.
>Instead you appear just enough of a predator to them that it sets their instincts on edge on a good day.
>They don’t really mean to fear you, it’s just in their nature.
>Still doesn’t stop it from hurting though.
>>
>>27167421
>”I think the others are going to get out here soon Anon, you want some help with setting the table?”
“Huh?”
>Turning you look to see Applejack standing next to you her eyes showing concern.
>Question is, for you or for her?
>Keeping your thoughts to yourself you nod.
“Yeah, you can get the plates I’ll get the food set up.”
>Reaching into the icebox you start to rummage around for the food stuff you had made last night, if you know anything your deviled eggs are going to knock their socks off.
>Well if ponies had socks that is.
>You’ve seen them in Rarity’s store but she always got flustered when you asked for a pair…
>Shaking the thoughts of dress horse from mind you set the food on the picnic table and start to help Applejack set the plates out.
>It’s when you are finishing setting the drinks up that you hear a squeaky bouncing noise.
>You recognize that noise!
>Turning you spread your arms out wide and catch a pink bundle of joy in your hooves!

>”Hi Nonners!”
“Pinkie you crazy loon, how’ve you been?”
>Pinkie giggle snorts in that way she does, “Super fantastical! Now,” The mare leans in real close to you and whisper shouts, “What’s this I hear about you hosting a party without a license?! You can get in trouble for that you know!”
>Shaking your head you just ruffle the pink one’s mane.
>Pinkie was always one who could make friends with anyone, that much you knew for sure.
“Think if I plead insanity that I’ll get let off?”
>”Maybe if you re~~~~eally good friends with the judge I bet you could!” Pinkie says wiggling her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.
>”Pinkie Pie! You leave the poor colt alone! He don’t need your putitng them thoughts in his head!”
>Daw cowboy pony feels scared for you.
“It’s cool Applejack, I won’t use my manly wiles to /whimsy/ my way free from the law, don’t you worry.”
>>
>>27167428
>Applejack flushes and her eyes dart left to right, “Ah, Ah wasn’t implin’ nothin’!”
>Pinkie bursts in conversation, “But I was!~~”
“Jeez Pinkie you’re just hyper today, what’s so special?”
>Pinkie leaps out of your arms and lands on her hind hooves, “Well it’s because /you/ of all ponies started up your own party so that makes it a special day and I’m so excited I just can’t!” Before she can finish confetti explodes out from around her.
>Blowing of a stray bit of confetti from your hair you simply smirk at Pinkie.
“Party cannons in the bushes?”
>”How’d you know?!”
“You’re tail pulled the string silly!”
>Applejack blinked before looking behind at Pinkie, “Well I’ll be, that’s how you did it!”
>”Aww...Anon you ruined the surprise for one of my best jokes!”
>Laughing you wave your hands.
“Easy there Ponko, I bet you’ve got thirty more hidden in that crazy hair of yours.”
>As if on cue a long list spills out of Pinkie’s mane, “That’s not the point silly billy!”
>Like a lickatongue the list is slurped back up into the elder being that is Pinkie’s mane.
>>
>>27167436
“So when are the others getting here anyway?”
>”Soon I hope I’m starving!” Pinkie says as she takes a seat next to the fire, “Oh! Toasty! Do you have any marshmallows?”
>”Yeah, but Anon do you have any carrot dogs to go with the meat too?” Applejack asks coming to a seat next to Pinkie as she adds a few more logs to the flame.
>”We’re having meat?”
“Christ Shy, I thought she was going to mention that!”
>Pinkie slowly sinks in her seat, “W-well I didn’t really hear her that well, I was testing out a new version of my party cannon...sorry Anon!”
>Rolling your eyes you simply rub at your face.
“Yeah it’s fine, I’ll go and see if I can’t scrounge up some of the grill foods you ponies use I guess since it’s going to be a thing here…”
>”Aw shucks Anon, you don’t need to do that Pinkie and I can do that!”
>”We can?”
>A elbow to Pinkie’s side changes her tune as she perks up, “Oh yeah! Totally we got this Anon!”
“Well, someone does need to tend the fire. Alright here, this should cover the cost.”
>Tossing them the bit bag you had hanging off your belt you soon have to catch it back as Applejack throws it back.
>”Now come on Anon, ya’ll can’t expect me to just use your money like that! I can buy it myself after all.”
“You and your gender stereotypes are going to get you in trouble, but fine spend your bits if you want.”
>”Okie dokie lokie! Make sure to keep my spot warm Anon!” Pinkie says as she starts to bounce after Applejack as they head into town.
“It’s a fire, it’s all warm!” You should back shaking your head at the silly antics of the pink one.


And that's what I got, more to come soon, i hope...How's the flow of it? Is it alright for green?
>>
>>27167415
>Anon
>Letting Appul dig his hole
You didn't learn anything from LaP, did you?
>>
>>27167486
I figured I try the opposite because that lead to the route of silliness.
>>
>>27166107
>The dragons are canonically pretty gender equivalent.

So are the ponies. There are no gender roles in canon Equestria, and quite frankly it's pretty clear that it isn't even remotely matriarchal or patriarchal, it's gender-egalitarian. Ponies have pretty perfect gender equality in the show, both de-jure and de-facto, if you know what those phrases mean.

That's not the point as I understand it, though. This general is an alternate universe Equestria that is extremely different from the show-canon one, so why not the dragonlands too? It's fanfiction, and it already contradicts a huge amount of stuff in the show, so it's only natural the same would be true for the dragonlands. The dragons did seem to be pretty egalitarian with gender, like the ponies, but this general isn't representing a canon-compatible universe, the point is to come up with writing prompts that are a what-if more than anything, and hopefully get some green from those prompts.
>>
>>27167573
I liked what you did.
>>
>>27167573
Also, Anon pointing out ~whimsy~. That was good for a chuckle.
>>
>>27167421
>>Reaching over you pause as Applejack stutter steps back only to catch herself to stop.
>>Withdrawing your hand you hold down the bitterness inside as you force a smile out.
>“Ah well, don’t worry I made other things that you guys can eat, pasta salad, potato salad all that good stuff.”
>>Applejack can see right through your smile as she takes a step forward, her eyes unreadable to you, ”Anon, I…”
what a baby
who cares if the little horse is freaked out by what you eat honestly

acting like the colts do
>>
>>27167573
What's your pastebin link/username?
>>
HAAAAAAHAHAHAHA
WE DID IT, BOYS
https://youtu.be/87EdsBqHVSE?t=2m18s
>>
>>27168414
>exploring 4chan #1
>being this mad
Should we tell him to visit /trash/ for the second episode? Just to have a good laugh.
>>
>>27168414
Stop promoting that shitty video, it's not funny.
>>
>>27167573
>“Applejack, I’m cooking meat for this grill.”

>“It’s cool Applejack, I won’t use my manly wiles to /whimsy/ my way free from the law, don’t you worry.”

ESL?
>>
>>27168145
Oh shizzle, here sorry, http://pastebin.com/TCcd1EUz
>>
>>27167657
/thread
/fun
>>
>>
File: 1457352893481.png (59KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]
1457352893481.png
59KB, 250x250px
>>27160528
yes
>>
>>27168962
I love that.
>>
>>27168978
Whenever I see that picture it always makes me think they're on the ceiling.
>>
>>27163700
More cross dressing mare when?
>>
File: 1428457751671.png (185KB, 1000x1042px) Image search: [Google]
1428457751671.png
185KB, 1000x1042px
>>27168962
YES
>>
>>27162819
>Inhaling deeply, you smell
>....eegh, you smell
>You try to open your eyes, but the gunk is keeping them solidly shut
>Fuuuuuckkkkkkkk
>You rub that shit off, and then cringe as your eyes burn, the sudden air stinging the inside corner of your eyelids
"Gggnnnnhhh-"
>You feel like shit
>Your mouth tastes like shit
>Did you do ketamine last night? Ugh, no
>Never again
>It was... oh, right. That date - Anon
>Mmmmm you don't give a shit right now
>Somewhere in your brain you know you should be pleased, but, you're not cuddling him right now and your ass doesn't hurt, so, it couldn't have gone THAT well
>But it was a good night, right?
>Rolling over, you flop out of bed, your legs crumpling under you
>Warm tummy meet cold floor. Cold floor, tumtum.
"Fuuuuuuuck-"
>Groggily, you stand to your hooves, your white fur matted in sweat and.... no, just sweat. Drunksweat.
>You feel a pain in your abdomen, and you know what this means
>whiskeyshits
>You open the door to your room, eyes bleary, and make your way to the bathroom
>Apparently you drank enough to give you the shits, but not enough to stop you from getting home??
>....fuck why can't you remember big blocks of last night?
>You sit upon the throne and ponder
>....no he was definitely over you, but, it wasn't sexual?
>....what the heeeNNNGGGOOHHLUNAFUCK-

>You are Anon now, because ain't nobody want to read that other shit
>After a somewhat restful night, you phoned into work, letting them know you'd be late
>Although chivalry is dead
>It's been replaced with...horsery?
>Whatever
>You're gonna cook these little pones some breakfast
>Octavia, because she really didn't have to do that, and Vinyl, because... well, you're already cooking for two.
>So at 5 you woke up as you usually do, damn work hours, and gently roused Octavia with the scent of coffee
>And the two of you have passed the time with the light conversation that only comes from early morning risers
>>
File: 1222844667833.jpg (55KB, 640x439px) Image search: [Google]
1222844667833.jpg
55KB, 640x439px
>>27169234
>>
>>27169234
>That is, until the moaning started about 5 minutes ago
>The two of you smiled at each other with a knowing look
>"Drinking contest, eh?"
>You shrug
"Hell, she rallied herself to challenge herself to a fight with herself to see who would win. I think she lost, though."
>Octavia chuckles, sipping at her coffee. "Mmm, it seems so. Hopefully she's just going to be sick and done with it this morning, I don't want to-"
>And it's at this point that your comfy little morning is ruined forever
>For, even through 2 walls and a length of hallway, Vinyl's voice rings out
>And it's very obvious she forgot you came home with her
>"FUCK'S SAKE. OCTY, I'VE SHAT OUT MY HEART."
>You bite your knuckle, trying to stifle your laughter as Octavia's forehead meets the kitchen table
"I-heh-is she always lik-"
>"NO REALLY. CALL THE PRINCESS, I'M GONNA DIE-"
>Octavia rolls her head on the table, signifying 'no' + 'please, Celestia, kill me now.'
>"P-please, Anon. I swear, we are adult mares in this household."
>Smiling, you nod
"Oh, I'm certain of it. At least, I'm certain you are.... tell me, when did it happen?"
>Octavia looks up at you, furrowing her eyebrows
"I mean, of course, the accident. Did Vinyl hit her head hard one day, or-"
>She grins, rolling her eyes. "No, sadly, she's been like this since I met her."
>"PLEEEEEASE. PLEASE END ME-"
"So, she was dropped as a foal?"
>"Multiple times, I think."
>You hum softly as a devious idea floats through your brain
>"....I know that smile. What's on your mind?"
"Would you like a little revenge?"
>"You really are perfect. Yes."
>You lean down and whisper your plan to your new friend and she joins you in a manic smile. "Oh... oh no, Anon, that's just way too cruel!"
"So you're not going to?"
>"Oh fuck yes I am, especially since I have a witness with me."
>Octavia hops down from her chair and trots over to the hallway entrance, making sure to be as loud as possible
>"Vi?! VI."
>"DOC OC! PLEASE, KILL ME. THE BLEACH IS IN THE KITCHEN-"
>>
>>27169345
>>"FUCK'S SAKE. OCTY, I'VE SHAT OUT MY HEART."
I laughed so hard that I farted.
I farted so hard I woke up the dog.
She's now crying.
This is all your fault, based new writefag
>>
>>27169345
>DOC OC
>Ponies keep unintentionally dropping human pop culture references through sheer coincidence
>Anon keeps losing his shit each time
>>
>>27169345
Damn it BNW, write faster! Things are getting good and I want to see how Octy and Anon make fun of Vinyl's shitting.
>>
>>27169345
>Octavia stamps her hoof. "Vinyl Scratch, stop bitching for five minutes. I'm getting ready for the day, and I wanted to know what to make you. Do you need oats? Or can you handle toast and eggs?"
>"I WANT THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH, OCTY. THERE ARE FARMS HERE; TAKE ME TO ONE AND LET ME FREE-"
>"So, oats?"
>"....AH, YEAH. SURE?!-"
>Octavia, grinning madly, turns her head to you and yells as loud as she can, "ANONYMOUS! VINYL SCRATCH WOULD LIKE SOME WARM OATS, PLEASE."
>You grin as you inhale deeply, belting out your response in a rich, smooth baritone
"SURE THING, OCTY. DOES SHE NEED ANY SPECIAL HELP FOR HER TUMMY TUM?"
>There is utter silence for about five seconds
>Then this piercing wail just.... starts
>It's soft at first, but raises in pitch and loudness
>You're drawing blood from your knuckle, biting it so hard to stay silent, but your whole body is convulsing with the bottled-in laughter
>Octavia is just.... doing a mixture of a waltz and an LSD-trip dance, having as close to a full-body orgasm as she possibly can
>So this is the sound of one mare dying by embarrassment
>Finally the fine white whine starts to form words
>"OOCCCCTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYY~ WHYYYYYYYYYYYY~"
>"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........ooooh...." Breathless, Octavia stops dancing, her eyes fluttering open to look at you. "Oh.... oh Anon...."
>Woah, her purple eyes are.... impressive
>Man, if you didn't know any better, you'd say she was lusting after you
>Time to be cheeky
"Was it good for you too?"
>She grins. "Oh, colt, you don't know what you've done for me~"
>"I'LLL NEVERR BEEE ALLLPPHAAAAA~"
* * *

>You are Vinyl Scratch
>And you're dead
>just
>You're dead. Your heart is beating, you're in the shower, you're feeling sensations, but you're dead
>That... tile infront of you has been your world for about an hour now
>Anon came and went, apparently
>And your executioner wiped her blade and tried to get you to come out of your porcelain coffin
>Wanted to make sure you were dead, prolly
>>
What are the tenses of shitting? Shit, shat, shit?
>>
>>27169479
So... making fun of Vi is her kink? That's interesting, to say the least
>>
>>27169535
Seems more like friends saying outlandish things to each other just to get a reaction. Kind of like how friends banter back and forth and the one who gets flustered "loses" that verbal bout. At least, that's my perception.
>>
>>27168995
FUCK
>>
>>27169479
>"Vi... Vi~"
". . ."
>"Vinyyylllll. Come ooonnnnn, it's been an hour. It's damn near 8AM-"
"Time has no meaning for the dead."
>"Vinyl Scratch, please."
"No you please! You're grinning right now, aren't you?!"
>".....mayb-"
"Octy you are tearing me apart~"
>"Oh come off it, Vi! He's interested in a second date!"
>You blink, raising your head
"He....what?!"
>You can feel the smug coming out from the other side of the door. "I said, he's interested in a second date. Apparently you're a cute drunk, which is the only thing saving you right now."
"I... I'm still not happy!"
>"He made you breakfast, you know."
"...."
>"Oats with fruit and a sprinkle of brown sugar."
".....ok for the record, he's a keeper and you're a cunt."
>"Love you too, Vi. I'm going to go practice at the amphitheater; see you for lunch?"
"fmbgmbfine."
>You hear your traitorous herdmate leave the apartment
>And....now you're alone
>But you're smiling for some reason
>....a second date?! Eeeeeee-
* * *
"Huuhhnnh~"
>"Woah, Anon hon, you alright? Are you sittin' under a vent again?"
>You finish your sudden and violent shivering, looking around
"I uh... I don't think so?"
>Triplicate smiles at you, the wrinkles around her eyes forming into little smiles. "Well, I know how you sweet things are. If you need a blanket, or want a desk in the sun, let me know."
>You sigh internally, but smile
"Will do."
>You can't be mad at her - she's like, as old as Granny Smith
>....pretty sure she's dead but her body doesn't know it
>regardless, if you're called 'sweet thing' by any other pony, they'd get a backhand
>Triplicate just gets a headpat on her little mane-bun
>And maybe a boop when nopony's watching
>"So, are these all the resettlement forms you wanted, dear?"
"Mmm, yeah. I just wanted to check on a few things, that's all."
>"Oh? Well, what can this old mare help you with? I know you colts are good at paperwork and stenography, but are you sure you can navigate this?"
>Awwww
>>
File: 1412889246494.gif (4MB, 360x203px) Image search: [Google]
1412889246494.gif
4MB, 360x203px
>>27165142
The guy shitposted his shit in every single thread, but no one cares, since Ember a shit. That's it.
>>
>>27169699
>She's actually genuinely concerned about your wellbeing, not 'concerned' to want to 'help you' and show off
>She's definitely getting a boop
"Yeah, I'm fine. We've only had, what, 5 resettlements this year so far?"
>She hums softly, trying to remember
>"I...that sounds about right, I think. Nothing like that wave of farmers back in '37. Now THAT was a flood of new ponies. Did I ever tell you that's how the Carrots actually settled he-"
>You begin to nod automatically as you pour over the records
>Hmm. Let's see... Caramel, stallion, from Applanta.
>Discord from *^&%$#@*!~!#
>The pronunciation key under it reads "Chicago" but, eh.
>Genderfluid-
>No, there's actually some gender fluid on this paper
>You set it aside to be burned and make a note to ask him to refill it out
>Ah. Here we are.
>One Time Turner, stallion, with colt Treble Clef - Manehatten
>A month later, Octavia Philharmonic from Manehatten and followed by just a few days-
>A sigh escapes your lips
>Vinyl Scratch from 'call me, cutie'.
>Of course her sex is marked 'frequently'.
>. . .
>You set the three aside
>Let's see. So Octavia's obviously related to Treble - name's a dead giveaway, but... divorce?
>Probably. TT's single.
"Oh."
>Her ears perking up, Triplicate smiles. "Why yes! That is how the mirror pool was capped! Although thousands of mares lost their lives-"
>You furrow your brow
>'Time Turner Claimed Assets: None. Claimed Income: None. Claimed other Income: None.'
>....that doesn't seem right. He should at least be getting state-mandated alimony...
>And you know Octavia has a job
>....and she's not the type of mare to skip out on it. Why else would she move from Manehatten to here, especially-
>You check again
>-yeah... to follow her old family.
"Whelp."
>"And-th...oh? What is it, sweetpea?"
>You lean back
"I think I just found some fraud."
>>
>>27169234
>>27169345
>>27169479
>>27169699
>>27169791

Done for right now. Dinner and shenanigans for the night, then I'm back on to keep the story going.

>>27169535
No, >>27169590 is more right. Vinyl has basically embarrassed Octy for a day straight. This sweet revenge + harassment material for future use is just.... wonderful.
>>
File: 1451853854123.png (350KB, 335x444px) Image search: [Google]
1451853854123.png
350KB, 335x444px
>>27169808
This anon awaits more eagerly.
>>
>>27169791
OHHHH SHIT! I am a bit confused by the wording but Turner got caught right?
>>
>>27169821
Aparently so.
>>
>>27169821
>>"Vinyl... I just. I don't mind the alimony, we both make enough-"
>>'Time Turner Claimed Assets: None. Claimed Income: None. Claimed other Income: None.'

I guess so
>>
>>27169839
fuck yeah
>>
File: 1450789982001.png (5KB, 405x372px) Image search: [Google]
1450789982001.png
5KB, 405x372px
>>27169808
ur gud
>>
>>27169821
Don't fuck with a bureaucrat, man. They can fuck your life over in so many ways it ain't funny.
>>
>>27169894
A bureaucrat is the worst enemy, they live in a Malthusian hell hole with no time, a place that often cares not for any involved in it. The eldritch horrors that trawl, the records for the slightest miss-step, for the slightest flaw. So that they can instantly bring an endless series of court dates and fines down on their enemies.

Time turner shall not die, no that requires form 23-B, signed in triplicate by death, the dying and a witness but they have none left in stock and as such he shall have to request a time-slot on the central printer. Sadly there is a 355 month waiting list and all documents are recycled after 24 months.
>>
File: 1453066635452.jpg (36KB, 624x489px) Image search: [Google]
1453066635452.jpg
36KB, 624x489px
>>27169808
BNW I'm lovin' it!
>>
>>27169791
Octi showing her harder side when
>>
File: 1333546988975.png (771KB, 958x949px) Image search: [Google]
1333546988975.png
771KB, 958x949px
>>27169791
>>A sigh escapes your lips
>>Vinyl Scratch from 'call me, cutie'.
>>Of course her sex is marked 'frequently'.
lmao
>>
r we ded?
>>
>>27170765
No you're dead
>>
>>27170765
Oh god, it has been two whole hours since the last update of green, we must be dead.

Sometimes anons just don't think before they post.
>>
>>27169791
>"I think I just found some fraud."
get im anon!
>>
>>27170793
>>27170811
I was joking jeez
Sometimes anons think too much about what other anons post
>>
>>27171354
I was joking to man
>>
>>27171354
>>27171388
JUST A PRANK, BRO
>>
>>27171388
oh
>>
>>27171415
I am literally autistic so it can be hard to discern meaning from words sometimes
>>
>>27166625
>Carrots
>>
File: rgre pill inside.jpg (113KB, 350x350px) Image search: [Google]
rgre pill inside.jpg
113KB, 350x350px
>>27171433
shh bby is ok
here drink this
>>
>>27169808
Oh, right, earlier in the story, Vinyl insulted Turner for being worth nothing, mentioning a dollar menu.
Marshmallow horses don't use dollars.
>>
File: Keyhole_sand_dollar_01.jpg (144KB, 2040x1752px) Image search: [Google]
Keyhole_sand_dollar_01.jpg
144KB, 2040x1752px
>>27172121
Sure they do. Sand dollars are an accepted foreign currency in Equestria from Aqualand.
>>
>>27171433
Suicide.
noun
1.
the intentional taking of one's own life.
2.
destruction of one's own interests or prospects:
Buying that house was financial suicide.
3.
a person who intentionally takes his or her own life.
verb (used without object), suicided, suiciding.
4.
to commit suicide.
verb (used with object), suicided, suiciding.
5.
to kill (oneself).
>>
>>27172121
So I mean, you're right, but. That's what you focus on? That?

Honestly, I thought I'd be busted on my frequent use of "hell" instead of "tartarus", but... ok.

>>27169894
You... you get me.

>>27170145
You get me more. You have named in full the future of Time Turner; endless plastic chairs in understaffed waiting rooms, bathrooms with taped-down chamber lids, disconnected water fountains and dull golf pencils.
>>
>>27169479
>Octavia is just.... doing a mixture of a waltz and an LSD-trip dance
And I'm laughing my ass off and trying to get this image out of my head
>>
File: image.jpg (53KB, 625x833px) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
53KB, 625x833px
Bamp
>>
>>27170145
I read this in the Darkest Dungeon Narrator's voice and it was both epic and hilarious.
>>
>Anon has sex with mare.
>Human VS horse stamina ensues.
>Mare can't get off Anon (who is letting her be on top to not hurt her tiny sexist horse feelings and body) as much as she tries.
>After five minutes Anon just grabs the little horse and starts using her like an onahole.
>Mare cannot walk straight for the next week, but what hurts the most is her pride.
>Does she sucks at pleasing stallions?
>Was she that ugly that she couldn't get him off on her own?
>Was her fat, princess, purple butt that big and disgusting?
FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF DRAGONBALL Z
>All of this and more
>>
File: 1442439662639.png (348KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]
1442439662639.png
348KB, 1024x768px
>>27173531
>literally no communication before, during or after sex happened
>>
>>27173569
>Anon is deaf
>Unnamed purple princess pone is also deaf
>Neither wants to suddenly spring it on the other, so they both just fake it for the time being
>Neither one realizes what's going on, and both think they're the one at fault
>>
>>27173569
Tiny sexist horse fell into a three-days coma from the over-stimulation, during which Anon won a chance of asking Princess Celestia for a single thing by winning the kingdom-wide derby, mostly because everyone else participating were tiny three-year-old horses.
>>
File: 1460263539833.png (152KB, 344x404px) Image search: [Google]
1460263539833.png
152KB, 344x404px
>>27165136
Go back to the scaily hell from witch you came
>>
File: 365767.gif (93KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]
365767.gif
93KB, 300x300px
>>27173694
>from whence you came
FTFY
>>
>>27163869
Ayylmao
>>
>Anon tutors pones for a living
>Gets hired to aid a young mare with math
>Pone is too distracted by Anon to learn anything

"Whew, it's a bit hot in here. You wont mind if I take off my shirt, do you?"
>"S-Sure!"
>You remove the sweat-soaked fabric, the cloth sticking to your skin as you attempt to pull it off
"Ahh, much better. Now, back to the function."
>"...Sweet Celestia help me."
>>
>>27173757
I could get behind an oblivious Anon getting work in Ponyville's Schoolhouse and becoming the schools' sexy teacher to the precocious fillies learning from him.
>>
File: 1459846933163.png (1MB, 900x2700px) Image search: [Google]
1459846933163.png
1MB, 900x2700px
>>27168414
This fucking kid made me cringe hard being that mad
>>
>>27173827
I'm impressed with how fucking slow his image loading is
>>
File: saul.jpg (73KB, 820x420px) Image search: [Google]
saul.jpg
73KB, 820x420px
>>27169791
Victim of a fraud? Better call Saul!
>>
File: 1459392145736.gif (2MB, 686x632px) Image search: [Google]
1459392145736.gif
2MB, 686x632px
>>27174523
Ya true but thats what happens when you're that deep in the closet you're wifi gets slow
>>
File: sbelle.png (341KB, 500x683px) Image search: [Google]
sbelle.png
341KB, 500x683px
>>
File: 1455876232016.gif (473KB, 500x330px) Image search: [Google]
1455876232016.gif
473KB, 500x330px
>>27175666
hamana hamana bonner!
>>
really shit idea
>Anon goes on pony equivalent of 4chan
>shitposts on /mlh/, posting timestamped pics of human body parts (Hands, arms, etc.)
>taunts ponies that they will never get to touch these
>ponies on /mlh/ go wild for a human on their Chineighse cartoon image board
>general /mlh/ shenanigans
>>
>>27173373
>"You remember our offices, organized and up to health and safety standards"
>>
>>27173786
>Christ, why is it so HOT in Equestria?
>What the hell is Celestia's problem, anyway?
>Oh Jesus, your shirt is actually sticking to you. You can't move properly because you're now wearing a soaking-wet straight-jacket.
>Fuck this.
"Ah! Much better. Sorry 'bout that, everyone. Now, who can tell me who sailed the ocean blue and discovered Amareica?"
>You turn your attention back to the class and... wow, a lot of these ponies sure are looking red in the face.
>Is the heat getting to them too?!
>Oh god can horses get heat stroke?
>You'll get the doctor!
>God DAMN you, Celestia!
>>
>>27176261
I cant unhear that now.
>>
Faggot, here. Still playing Space Engineers. I'll have a few updates for the next thread, swear on me mum.
>>
>>27176302
cool cool, I am in fingerbang currently having my heart ripped out from Sunset finding what is left of Sci Twilight's corpse, from zombies eating her. shits brutal, oh but Flash is dead so silver linings.
>>
>>27173531

>Be Anon, sighing as you comfort your sad marefriend with ear scratches.
"Twilight, it's alright. I enjoyed it."
>"But you came only once while I got off dozens of times." she pouts, her pride shattered.
"That may be true, but at least I still came. I hear from the guys at work that they sometimes have to fake it."
>You smirk.
"Obviously I didn't do that with you."
>Twilight blushes at the reminder of how you ended the night before with a pearl necklace.
>"O-Okay, yes but I'm the mare! I should be the one getting you off tons of times! You only came after you stopped letting me ride you and just used me like a fucktoy!"
>She sighs, "Tell me honestly, Anon. A-Am I bad at sex?"
>Your favorite alicorn looks up at you with those big eyes of hers.
>Oh geez.
"Are you sure?"
>"Yes Anon. I'm a big filly, I can take it!"
>You scratch the back of your head.
"Well uh, by pony standards you're probably average. But I don't really have anything to compare to since you're the only mare I've been with."
>You've seen pony porn though. It was WAY too short for your liking.
"But by human standards? You were...."
>You trailed off, trying to find the right word to say.
>"I knew it! I was terrible wasn't I?!" she looks like she's almost about to cry.
"No! That's not what I was going to say!"
>But Twilight didn't listen, jumping to her hooves and her eyes filled with determination.
>"Don't worry, Anon! I swear on my pride as a mare that I WILL get better at sex!"
>She teleports off before you can get another word in, probably going to ask her friends for advice or read books about sex.
>You sigh.
>>
>>27176451
>>"Don't worry, Anon! I swear on my pride as a mare that I WILL get better at sex!"
This sounds like NTR
>>
>>27176463

That was unintentional
>>
>>27176463
I think I've read that hentai
No pony in it though
>>
>>27176451
Ok this sounds like it has promise, Twilight going around asking for advice as we try to catch up with her and only just miss her. Then a sex scene where Twilight just brings her friends in to help. I am getting turned on just thinking about it
>>
>>27176451
>>27176463
>As Princess she orchestrates a festival.
>Where one hundred Stallions are in a line, ploughing her one after another so she can practice on them, with the similar amount of time it takes Anon to cum.
>>
>>27176451
My god, just imagine having a human lasting about an hour or two, how many mares would it take.

It could be a special monthly event where mares gather and try to please anon. Word gets to other cities about this

at least 6 mares just to get past cuddle session

anon just find it cute, and kind of arousing
>>
>>27176479

>You ripped up the papers for that stupid idea.
"Twilight, no."
>"But-!"
"If you're really going to do this why not just ask your friends for help?"
>>
File: large.jpg (201KB, 1230x1024px) Image search: [Google]
large.jpg
201KB, 1230x1024px
>>27176258
>Anon gets a gf down the line.
>She gets on /mlh/ and taunts the tuftbeards on there about how she has the only human.
>Bonus points if she's the pony equvilant to a Chad.
>You can hear the "RRREEEEEEEE"s all across Equestria
>>
>>27176479
Jesus christ Anon, could you be any more of a cuck?
>>
>>27176736
>Anon is a frequent user on /mlh/
>Has become the equivalent of a community celebrity
>gets a marefriend
>/mlh/ stickies a thread about Anon getting a marefriend
>/mlh/ complains about getting cuckqueaned
>general /mlh/ shenanigans
>>
>>27176752
Probably not. Twifags are, by and large, maximum tier cucks.
>>
>>27176752
this guy is better>>27176494
>>
>>27176479
Why.
>>
>>27176451
>>"Don't worry, Anon! I swear on my pride as a mare that I WILL get better at sex!"
>not "I will gather my friends and we will sex you together"
shame
>>
>>27176833
Well, dubs. That may be the conclusion she comes to.
>>
>>27176494
>"B-but there was this one Japonys mango where a pink-maned fairy taught a loser mare with a really nice apartment how to play candy crush until he was good at the sexy, Anon. Is... is that now how it works, or...?"
>Anon sometimes forgets that Twilight straight-up has autism.
>>
>>27176888
>them digits
At least she's not sitting in front of one of those shitty cameras that take all day to develop and getting pony aids while looking like a cheap knockoff.
>>
File: 1409805616033.png (20KB, 390x470px) Image search: [Google]
1409805616033.png
20KB, 390x470px
Fresh bread when?
>>27176888
>>"B-but there was this one Japonys mango where a pink-maned fairy taught a loser mare with a really nice apartment how to play candy crush until he was good at the sexy
Took me a while to get that reference.
>>
>>27176980
which image
>>
>>27176736
>Anon just gets tired off all the "m'lords" and the faggots who thought he was a pure, innocent colt-nextdoor
>Hooks up with the first mare who doesn't pussy foot around him and treats him like a mare
>Goes on /mlh/
>waifu has made a post
>"Hey Filly-foolers,
My name is Ponywaifu, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any cock?"
>>
>>27169845>>27169791

>>'Time Turner Claimed Assets: None. Claimed Income: None. Claimed other Income: None.'
i dont understand this

how IS this fraud?
>>
File: 1453184763199.gif (130KB, 344x472px) Image search: [Google]
1453184763199.gif
130KB, 344x472px
>>27176989
If you're talking about the reference it was a joke about the plot of the game Huniepop.
>>27176994
Holy shit anon you got me good.
>>
>>27176989
ofc, use Dong ring
>>
>>27177024
He is claiming to have no income to double-dip. This way he gets alimony and state support.

>>27177026
image for bread
>>
File: 1417927363954.png (835KB, 937x895px) Image search: [Google]
1417927363954.png
835KB, 937x895px
>>27176989
>>27177031
>>27177040
oh wait shit, OP image. ANYTHING BUT dong ring. believe my dubs.
>>
>>27177040
Get a pic of that fairy from Huniepop and slap Anonymous' face on it.

>>27177059
>not dubs
We're getting the dong ring. Fuck.
>>
>>27177059 >>27177031

>ANYTHING BUT Dong ring
> Dong ring

oh lol
>>
>>27177024
He's not "earning" anything so he's not paying taxes, and is still getting welfare bits while collecting alimony and spousal suport.
>>
>>27177059
Trust me mang, we're not getting the ding rong
>>
I don't believe in dubs.

>>27177093
>>27177093
>>27177093
>>
>>27176261
perfect
>>
>>27177024
You must pay taxes from income but he claims none.
>>
>>27175666
That's not her cutie mark...
Thread posts: 518
Thread images: 128


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]

I'm aware that Imgur.com will stop allowing adult images since 15th of May. I'm taking actions to backup as much data as possible.
Read more on this topic here - https://archived.moe/talk/thread/1694/


If you need a post removed click on it's [Report] button and follow the instruction.
DMCA Content Takedown via dmca.com
All images are hosted on imgur.com.
If you like this website please support us by donating with Bitcoins at 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties.
Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site.
This means that RandomArchive shows their content, archived.
If you need information for a Poster - contact them.