Reversed Gender roles Equestria

>>26774466
>triple dubs on the OP
This will be a great thread, I can already tell.

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>>>26772448
>>>26772962

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>>26774466

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>mares trying to steal you from your waifu

>>26774831
Now i want some Drunk Ponk molesting anon greens.

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>Twilight's latest plan to not die alone involves seducing colts with her marely bod
>A few muscle growth spells later, she presents herself to Anon
>He runs off screaming
>pic related

>>26775417
Muscle fetish 4/10 fetish.
Extremely situational but if done very well and subdued ok.

>>26775417
>tumor muscles
Bottom of the barrel fetish, friend. It's not the worst, but it shares a zip code.

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>>26775417
Meh, I think it could work if it was like Bulk Biceps levels of swole, maybe she also gets dumber as her muscles grow and can't reverse the spell.
>tfw Anon only wants a natty4life gf

>>26775590
Oh yeah. Then she's idolized as the ultimate marely mare, even though she can barely form complete sentences.

>>26775590
>>26775690
I like the idea of a still-brilliant but fitness-obsessed Twi.
"Studies have shown that the ratio of muscle to fat can be optimized through SS+GOMAD 9 times a day, anon!"

So is this muscle fetish general now? Someone make a new thread without this shit.

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>>26775701
>GOMAD 9 times a day

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Picture of Venus made by BadGrammarFag.
She is the best pink princess.

Hey Snippet, when's Bugwife? We need another princess in here.
Take all the time you need. No need to rush an update and make it subpar.

>You are sitting alone on a couch in one of the upstairs rooms of sugarcube corner
>The music was pretty loud and you think there was something in your drink so you came upstairs to clear your head for a while
>Fucking pony drugs are so weak, you’ll probably be fine in another half hour
>Damn if the room isn’t spinning right now though
>Suddenly the room is filled with light as the door slams open
>An obviously intoxicated Pinkie Pie is swaying in the door frame eyeing up the bed in the corner while mumbling to herself
>This obviously must be her room
>Before she makes her way to the bed she closes the door, basking the room in moonlight once again
>”Fucking tease colts… always stuck in the friend zone… “Oh you’re such a good friend Pinkie” blegh.”
>She stops in the middle of the room, her face a storm of emotions
>”F-f-fucking colts. Maybe I’m just too nice. Maybe that’s why they don’t notice me.”
>Oh boy that’s really not a good line of thought, time to put a stop to this
>You try to stand up but find that you can’t
>The room spins intensely the moment you try moving and you end up leaning back into your chair and letting out a gasp
>Fuuuck whatever cunt mare drugged your drink wasn’t fucking around
>Probably got whatever this was specifically for you
>You’ll have to keep an eye out next time you go out, this was actually pretty dangerous
>Pinkie finally notices you on the couch
>She blinks and scrunches her muzzle adorably in confusion before her eyes widen
>A wide almost predatory smirk finds its way across her face and she starts drunkenly strutting towards you
>Oh boy, this won’t be good
>”Hey there hot stuff, what are you doing up here all by your lonesome.”
>Before you can gather your thoughts and reply pinkie is already somehow leaning up on the couch with her hoof against your lips
>”Shhhh shhh shh… Shhhh.” She giggles, “I know what you’re here for Nonnypoo. You want a piece of the Pinkster don’t ya?”

>>26775701
>GOMAD 9 times a day
Next she'll be advocating the use of Skub.

>>26776162
i cant believe snippet is fucking dead

>>26776354
Maybe he's on break

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Fairly new to writefagging, no idea how to link posts from prior. Fuck it. Slept more then 6 hours.

>"Mr. Anon," the mare with the magnifying glass cutie mark begins
>"I'm gumshoe trace, I've been called in to consult and try and help with the investigation. Anything you can tell me would be helpful. "
>spot on, a dick
>must be a good one if they've got her in to try and track down the boss
>your desire to know more grows, but you need to stay the course
>no suspicious behavior
>"n-now I know this isn't easy, but anything you can tell us will help. Anything at all,"
>the slight stutter and hesitation tells you all you need to know
>they don't know, or even suspect
>queue some water works and a little stuttering
>your description of "the boss" pours out
>the boss is a tan mare with a red mane and blue eyes
>cutie mark is an old jar of moonshine
>smelled faintly of booze and sweat and that airy salty smell of the sea
>the ponice will spend the next month ripping apart docks and shipyards
>all to track down how everything gets shipped
>track the shipment, catch the boss
>except the boss never ships things via water
>you had made that rule from the start
>instead small parcels would be just shipped in the mail, thanks equestrian mailmares
>larger bulk orders for the speakeasys would be shipped in random carts hired through secondaries at random
>worse that happens if caught is a fine for the shipping company and a loss of goods

>>26776324
>She slowly climbs up onto your lap, and over her shoulder you can see her tail starting to sway left and right pretty strongly
>Your heart starts to race and all that’s going through your mind is “ohshitohshitohshit”
>As she sits herself down she presses herself against you, almost rubbing herself on you
>You realise she’s sniffing your chest as she slowly brings her face up your body towards yours
>Shaking your head you realise you should put a stop to this now
>You try to stand up once again but between the state you’re in and Pinkies weight all you do is squirm
>Suddenly Pinkies great big sapphire blue eyes are staring deeply into yours
>You just stare back, your mind going blank
>She slowly leans up, her soft coat hairs brushing against your cheek, and whispers sultrily in your ear
>Her hot, alcohol thick breath washing against your face as she does
>”Shh, silly Nonny, you don’t need to do a thing. Just sit back and let Pinkie take care of everything.”
>She begins grinding her hips lightly while a hoof slowly slips down your chest towards your crotch
>Your heart is trying to pump its way out of your chest
>Your breathing is coming fast and ragged
>Pinkie brings her face back to yours, your lips brushing against each other as she passes before settling a few inches in front of you
>Her hoof finally bumps against your belt buckle
>She looks down at her hoof before looking back into your eyes
>She deliberately moves her hoof from your belt and instead grabs a hooffull of your bulge
>”Oops.” She giggles, but makes no effort to move her hoof and instead seems to be copping a feel even more
>“Lemme get those pesky pants off you now cutey. Oooh Mammas gonna take her time with you…”

>>26776384
>Her hoof finally stops groping you and moves to your belt when suddenly the door to pinkies room shoots open, blinding you with light
>”Waaah! Ooof!”
>Pinkie fell off your lap and now is crumpled on the floor
>Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash walk in through the door looking around the room
>”Hey Pinkie, have you seen Anonymous anywhere? We heard some mares downstairs say something pretty suspicious and we wanted to check if he was okay?”
>Rainbow Dash spots you and flies above your head
>”Here he is Twi. How’re ya doin’ big guy?”
>Your mouth is suddenly really dry
“H-hey. Can, err… I have some water.”
>”Yeah sure, I’ll get ya that in a second. Hey Twi the big guy isn’t looking too good…”
>Twilight sighs before walking over to you, lifting your head up with magic and looking at your eyes
>”They must have managed to get whatever it was into his drink. We should have gotten their cutie marks…”
>”It’s not that big a town yet Twilight, I’m sure we’ll find them.”
>”Yeah Rainbow, you’re probably right. We should get him to the hospital for the night to make sure he’s okay. Thanks for taking care of him Pinkie. I’ll go downstairs to get applejack to help carry him.”
>”I’ll help. You take care of him Pinks, ‘kay?”
>Pinkie had been silent the whole time, her eyes going wider and wider the more they talked
>She startles once she realises Rainbow Dash was talking to her.
>”R-right. I’ll look after Nonny”
>Rainbow dash barely acknowledges her before shooting out of the room after Twilight
>Pinkie looks after Dash for a few seconds before turning her big watery blue eyes up at you
>”Anon… I am SOOO sorry… I- I just didn’t realise… I thought…I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I…” Pinkie breaks off and she looks like she’s about to cry

>>26776407
>You finally manage to gain enough control of your body to lean forward, resting your head on your hands
“Pinkiiee…”
>Goddamn even you know how fucked up you sound
>Twilight might be right about that hospital idea
“’Ssokay pinkeh. Is okay.”
>You start to wobble a bit and pinkie quickly rushes in to push you back into the chair
>Damn this chair is comfy right now
>Pinkie looks stunned at you, before a smile spreads across her face
>She leaps up onto the couch and hugs you tightly, burying her face in your shoulder
>”Thank you Nonnykins… You’re a really super great friend.”
>As you slowly start to pass out from the super comfyness of the chair you manage out a couple words.
“…No frienshone…”

Alrighty, I've only writefagged a couple times, but hopefully some of you enjoyed that. Feedback Encouraged! PLS RESPOND.
I probably puttered out a bit in quality nearing the end, I've got some shit to do. Sorry 'bout that guys.

>>26776426
I really enjoyed it. I hope there is more

>>26776461
I could probably write some more later. Not too sure on how to go from here. Depends on what people liked/want more of.

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>>26776544
I liked it. Ponka lamenting in the friendzone and Anon just tries to honestly be her friend with no ulterior motives.

They could totes fall in love or not.

>>26776844
>Anon is dtf
>Pinkie just mopes and Anon can't get through her thick skull
>Resorts to grabbing her hoof and placing it on his crotch
>"....Oh. Oh!"

>>26776426
>letting himself get drugged
what a faggot
although pinkie was really cute and sweet once she knew

>>26776426
Sequel where Anon and Pinkie engage in Magic with Benefits

>>26776097
Isn't she suppose to have canines?
Or am I interpreting something wrong.

>>26778170
I mean, even human canines aren't pronounced enough that they stand out when drawn, so this pony abomination checks out.

>>26777360
>Pony is legitimately upset and regretful at the idea that they nearly committed rape against Anon, the male protagonist
This is why I love RGRE threads.

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>>26778223
I know right? Relationships are actually healthy, it's amazing.

>>26778255
It's so much easier to write green when gags don't rely on shitting all over Anon.

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>>26775417
Too much, man. Way too much.

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>>26778223
>>26778255
>>26778264
It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.
Have some more ponko.

>>26778288
Pinkie confirmed for best pone.

>>26778268
I'm down for mares having a tight ass (not to say a nice round ass isn't good too) but I'm not about to fuck John Cena.

>>26776376
on a post. where it says no.57548439 or whatever. just click the number.

or copy paste number and put >> before it
> green text
>> link to a post
>>> Link to another boards postt

>>26776844
>Ponka lamenting in the friendzone
I'm not sure how long I could do that to best/Pink horse for.
>>26778223
>>>Pony is legitimately upset and regretful at the idea that they nearly committed rape against Anon, the male protagonist
Yeah I was aiming for actually reversed gender roles, and real guys who aren't starring in nutjob brand feminist propaganda would be fucking killing themselves if they found out they almost accidentally raped someone.
>>26778535
Jane Cemare! Doot doot doot dooooot! Captcha is cactuseseses. I'll go fuck myself with them while writing more best/pink horse stories for you guys because that pun was terrible.

Also post as I go or wait 'til I'm done with a scene? I'll be posting in smaller chunks anyway since I write outside of the post window and go back and change things often. But I want you're preferences anyway.

>>26778505
was there ever any doubt?

>Be Anon
>You are currently sitting in a hospital bed after staying the night for overnight observation
>The little nurse ponies took your blood and went off to get it tested to see what you were drugged with last night
>You aren't sure how long it will take for the results to get back
>You are alone in a room by yourself, they had to give you the "VIP room" with a large bed since you didn't fit in the regular ones
>The curtains are drawn back with elaborate ropes letting the sun shine in, it's a very pretty looking room
>You feel uncomfortable being in such a nice room while in a hospital
>Fucking horse hospital having special large VIP bed, it's ridiculous, why would they need a VIP bed about twice the size of a regular-
>It's at this time Princess Celestia walks in with Twilight and Pinkie Pie and you realise you're retarded
>"Hello Anonymous, no, no there's no need to bow, you should still be resting."
>You sit back into one of the plushest pillows you've ever rested on in your life
>Goddamn the room is swank
>"I was just in Ponyville to visit Twilight and Spike and thought I'd come give you a visit and see how you were doing. I heard what happened. I assure you we are tracking down the mares that did this an will be bringing them to justice. I am ashamed and embarrassed that some of my little ponies would have done this!"
>Damn, Celestia seems to be taking this pretty hard
"Hey, in the end I'm alright and that's what counts. Nothing really bad actually happened to me, and I'm not even hungover!"
>Twilight looks shocked and offended. Oh boy here we go.
>"How can you be so flippant Anon! This is really serious. What if some mare found you in that state and forced herself on you?"
>"Oh hey is it hot in here, I'm feeling kinda hot I'm gonna just open up this window hehehe..."
>Pinkie, sweating bullets, zips over to the window and cracks it open while avoiding eye contact
"Thanks Pinks, it was getting a bit stuffy in here."
>"Y-you're welcome."

>>26778734
>"I'm serious Anon, you've gotta be more careful. And have you considered taking a self defence class in case something like this happens again?"
"Twilight, I'm twice a ponies size. If some mare just gets a bit hoovsie I can just suplex her."
>You flex your biceps to illustrate the point
>Pinkie and Twilight both start blushing, while Celestia just smirks
>"You aren't twice my size Anonymous."
>U fuckin wot m8
"You wanna go? I'll wrestle you right here right now... Princess."
>Shit, that just slipped out of you
>Maybe challenging Demi-Goddesses to wrestling matches isn't such a good idea
>Luckily Celestia just starts laughing
>"Well he seems to have a warriors spirit twilight, I think he shall be fine. However in future Anonymous please be careful not to leave your drinks unattended, or accept drinks from strangers. I'm afraid this world isn't as safe as I would like it to be, and we all must take precautions sometimes."
>Damn that's right, you weren't careful at all
"I'll keep that in mind Princess. Thanks, for worrying about me. I'll be more careful in the future."
>"That's all I ask. Now I'm sorry to cut our visit short, however I'm afraid there's some time sensitive business Twilight and I must attend to."
>"I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer Anon."
"That you guys came at all really means a lot. Thanks."
>Pinkie Pie bounces over to twilight and wraps her in a hug
>"Aaww, don't feel too bad Twilight, I'll still be here to keep Nonny company!"
>"That's right, you said in the lobby you really needed to talk to him about something. What was it you needed to talk to him about Pinkie? You made it sound important, maybe we can help?"
>Sweating Pink intensifies
>"Well... you see, I, err... we..."
>You cant just leave her hanging so you say the first thing that comes to your head
"We're working on a surprise party."

>>26778742
This great, more

>>26778926
Yeah, sorry for the wait bro, just had food. I warned you bro. I told you about slow writefags.
>>26778742
>Twilight seems to accept this with a nod
>Pinkie lets out a sigh of relief
>"A surprise party? For who?"
>Shit
>Pinkie locks up for a moment before just patting twilight on the head with a blank poker stare
>"Well that's a surprise twilight. Duh."
>Twilight looks confused for a moment before just shaking her head and walking out the room muttering
>Celestia follows after her, waving goodbye with a wing as she goes.
>Pinkie waves enthusiastically back while they leave, but lets out a sigh of relief when they're gone
"Heh, you alright Pinkie?"
>Pinkie looks down at the floor, avoiding your eyes
>"I... I don't think so."
>Oh, this isn't good at all
>Pinkie is for sunshine and rainbows
>Being a sad pone is the job of those cunts that drugged you
>You don't think The Princesses are going to go easy on those poor fools
>And you don't blame them either, that shit could'a killed you
"Hey, what's got you so down Pinkie."
>Pinkie suddenly looks straight at you
>"Do you remember... what happened last night."
>Oh yeah, you remember
>It was awkward and embarrassing and way more boner inducing than you'd like to admit
>You'd never seen Pinkie like that, she was always just so bubbly and friendly, she reminded you of some girls from back home
>You honestly forgot that she was more... Masculine, like the rest of the mares in this world
>And that she'd have guy troubles...
>And that she could come on so strongly like that
"Yeah, Pinkie, I remember."
>"Yeah, but like do you really remember all that happened, when you went up to my room and I came in and you were on the couch and I... And I..."
"Yeah Pinkie, I remember it all. And, it's uhh, cool, we're cool. I'm not mad or anything."

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>>26770676
Reminder that Hearth's Warming Eve is Thanksgiving, not Christmas.

>>26778985
>"But WHY!? What I did was so awful! You were drugged and helpless and I just came in and starting touching you and rubbing you and, and, and," Pinkie, having shot that all out without breathing takes a big gasp of breath "Aaand I'm a horrible raaaapiiiist!"
>Pinkie has burst into tears and is now crying on the floor of your hospital room
"Woah, woah Pinkie you are not a rapist!"
>"I am, I am! The only thing that stopped me was Twilight and Rainbow Dash coming in when they did. I was THIS close to doing something so awful. NO, what I'd already done was already awful! Good mares aren't supposed to touch colts like that without their permission. Good mares don't take advantage of stallions when they cant fight back. Good mares don't almost rape one of their best friends. I almost did it and I didn't even know because I was so awful and too busy t-touching you."
>God damn it now you're tearing up a bit too
>You hate seeing Pinkie like this, she's tearing herself up over this really bad
"Pinkie please. You're a great mare. You're lovely and kind, and I KNOW you'd never do anything like this on purpose. You'd never hurt anybody on purpose. This was just an accident Pinkie."
>"It being an accident wouldn't unrape you." Pinkie sulks
>you fail to suppress a snort at that
"Pinkie accidents happen. And if it's anyone's fault it's my own. I should have been more careful, I should have gone to you or any of our friends once I realised my drink was spiked. I definitely shouldn't have gone off alone."
>"No, no! Don't blame yourself! You can't blame yourself, you were drugged, you weren't in the right state of mind-"
"And were you? Pinkie you were hammered! Even high out of my mind I could see how drunk you were. I could see you staggering, I could smell the alcohol on your breath."
>"That's no excuse for what I did!"
"Then why is it an excuse for me?"
>Pinkie stops at that
>"I... Because it's just different..."
"No Pinkie. It's not."
>"I... I..."

>>26778991
That's dumb. Your dumb. Stop being dumb. Just because you guys like to ignore select bits of show canon for the sake of this thread's prompt, which is fine, doesn't mean you should actively ignore/contradict every last bit of show canon.

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>>26770843
So?
Almonds, nutmeg, peppers, and a bunch of other shit is super deadly to humans. And we eat them anyway.

Hell, the reason we even enjoy alcohol is because it literally impairs us. The reason that hangovers feel like you've been poisoned is because YOU HAVE BEEN POISONED. Same goes for drugs and whatnot.

Point being, just because something is poisonous and potentially fatal doesn't mean it isn't delicious/fun/going to be ingested.

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>>26779063
You're*
At least insult me in proper English. If you're going to insist on being wrong, you should at least do it correctly.

What are you talking about? Hearth's Warming Eve isn't analogous to Christmas at all.

There's no gift giving, no trees, nothing resembling Christmas.

It's a celebration about overcoming a food shortage through friendship and working together.

Sounds a lot more like Thanksgiving to me.

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>>26779099
Obvious bait

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>>26779099
>no trees, nothing resembling Christmas

>>26779099
It's origins may be somewhat parallel to thanksgiving, but the way it's shown to be celebrated is much like we celebrate christmas as shown >>26779104 and >>26779112. Btw thanks fellas.
Also, I'll misuse your/you're if I want. You ain't the boss of me.

>>26779048
>Pinkie starts crying again
>You get out of bed and walk over to her
>She looks up at you, those beautiful blue eyes red and puffy from crying
>Not on your watch
>You bend down and scoop her up into your arms
>She lets out a "Meep!" that would have made fluttershy proud as you pick her up and take her back to the bed
>Sitting down on the side of the mattress you rest her on your lap and start running your hand through her mane
>Her crying slows and stops over the next few minutes, as she closes her eyes and rests her head against your chest
>You really don't care what the Princesses do to those mares now
>It was their fault that Pinkie was crying right now
>Fuck those ponies
>Pinkie eventually opens her eyes and looks up at you
"What's up Ponks?"
>She giggles at the silly name you called her before answering
>There we go, that's the real Pinkie back
>"Am I really a good mare Anon?"
"Of course you are Pinkie. I know you. You are always looking to make people smile. To make people laugh. You're a wonderful mare."
>Pinkie beams up at you and it's like the whole room lit up
>For a moment Pinkie looks away, as if deciding something, before she looks back into your eyes and puts her hoof on your chest
>"Anon... You're a wonderful stallion. You always make me smile. You always make me laugh. I... I've been meaning to say this for a while..."
>Oh
>Oh god
>Is she about to
>"Anon would you..."
>Your mouth goes dry
>Your heart is beating like crazy
>And suddenly you realise that you're gonna need an answer when she asks
>And just as quickly, you know what that answer is
>You look Pinkie right in the face as she asks her question
>"... Would you help me hide a dead body?"

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>>26778985
>Not putting Pinkie in the FUCKzone as a payment for your silence
>Not fucking her whenever you wish, even when she is at work. She can take a break, can't she?
>Not using all her holes
>Not making her pretend nothing is happening between the two of you even as she is holding in your cum in her butt.

>>26779135
>spoilered text
That's the test of the truest of friends.

>>26779135
>You stare
>She stares back
>The staring continues
>You will not be the first one to break
>You can see it now, the first signs of your victory
>Slight twitching at the sides of her mouth
>Not even Pinkie can contain a Pinkie Pie smile
>Just a while longer
>And you'll taste that sweet sweet victory
>"Pfffthahahaha!"
"HA! Hahahaha holy shit!"
>The two of you laugh for a good while
>You try and ignore that she's bouncing on your dick through this flimsy paper gown
>Fucking hospitals
"Damnit Pinkie, I needed those sides."
>She grins at you
>"Eh, you're in hospital already. You'll be fine."
>You both laugh again
>This was good
>Things were getting way too serious for a while
>That's not how you do things with Pinkie
>Pinkie jumps off your lap (thankfully missing your family jewels) and onto the bed with you
>"Hey Anon!"
"Yes Pinkie?"
>"Will you be my super specialest somepony in the whole wide world!?"
>You pretend to think about it for a moment
"But Pinkie... I'm not a pony."
>She hits you with your pillow
>"You know what I mean silly!"
>You cant leave her hanging for long
>So you scoop her up in a big hug again
"Yes Pinkie. I'll be your super specialest somepony."
>She squirms and wriggles in your arms in excitement
>"Really!"
"I'll be the superest and specialest."
>"EEEEEEEEE!"
>Pinkie somehow manages to bowl you over even while already in your arms and being half your size
>As your back hits the bed suddenly you feel Pinkie's lips on yours, kissing you deeply
>However just as you start to get into it she suddenly stops and pops up with a gasp
>"Oh no, oh sorry, I just realised I was being too- EEP!"
>You grabbing to firm handfulls of Pinkies rear stops her from squirming back any further
>Damn Pinkie has a great ass on her
"Pinkie."
>"Y-yes Anon?"
"Honestly I like you being forward."
>"O-oh. Okay!"
>And suddenly your whole world is pink again as Pinkie is kissing you, even harder than before
>Life in Horseland is great

>>26779209
Aaand I think that's it done for me. I had fun with this. I ended up a bit rollercoastery with the tone I noticed. Started hot and heavy with pinkie, then got pretty serious in the middle and ended sappily. I guess that'd be fixed by having an outline to begin with while writing instead of just winging it. Again, I'd really enjoy any Criticism or feedback from you guys. And remember I love you guys.
>>26779140
Damn that's hot. Great Idea but I felt like writing a sappier story with pinkie today. Maybe I'll write porn later.
>>26779150
This man speaks the truth.

>>26779242
That was really fun, cute, and __ RGRE enough.
Thank you for your great green, please write more someday.

>>26779242
Pretty good story. I'd like to see what happens to the drug mares to be honest but all in all a very well written story. 10 out of 10.

>>26779253
Pinkie was the drug mares, just in disguise. This was all a long con to get into Anon's waifu zone

>>26779084
If you want to have ponies use a toxic plant for something, the tomato is a safer bet. Tomatine is relatively more benign than solanine, main effect in most animals is elevated heart rate. They could harvest it for medical reasons.

>>26779242
We're going to need a name, sis. Ur good.
>Damn that's hot. Great Idea but I felt like writing a sappier story with pinkie today. Maybe I'll write porn later.
It was more of a joke. Fuck porn, write serious. There is always porn on pornhub.

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>>26779209
I love it when we get cute ponies being cute, and everyone walking away happy.

I'm a sucker for true happy endings.

>>26779250
Thanks Anon, I'll try and write something again pretty soon.
>>26779253
>I'd like to see what happens to the drug mares
If I was going to continue I'd probably close of that loose thread but the story was really just about Anon and Pinkie.
>>26779275
>This was all a long con to get into Anon's waifu zone
kek.
>>26779466
Giving your heart an erection was my plan all along Anon.
>>26779418
Hmm, as for a name I was leaning towards "Level1Writefag", but I already have an alt email I've been using for years for porn sites and shit I don't want linked to IRL me with a pastebin account named "Profmemology". So that'd be easier. It's up to you guys though, I've found the name of the old email slightly cringy as years have passed.
As for porn it's always fun to dabble. And nothing says Porn can't be good too.

>>26779209
>You grabbing to firm handfulls of Pinkies rear stops her from squirming back any further
>Damn Pinkie has a great ass on her

More of Pinkie's booty when?

>>26779497
I agree.The world needs more juicy Pinkie booty

>>26779483
I dub thee Roofie because your green.

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>>26779209
Nice.

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>>26779483
Roffie, or Roofs for short.
>>26779506
we picrelated nao?

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>>26779796
Healthy/10.

>>26779796

Plump Butts Edition is go

>>26776426
Any time I have to respond to a thread I have to get out of chrome copy paste the link in firefox just so the thing doesn't tell me I'm retarded and not allowed to post. So I rarely review.

1. This was really good, the ended made it go from an average 5-7/10
To a 10/10

Really good turn around. I'd say you deserve a name just for that, and honestly I'm looking forward to what else you can put out. Anyone know what happened to Memenon? He wrote one story and fucked off.

But yeah its good man it was really refreshing seeing this cool honest side to them.

>>26780011
son of a fuck. this is what I get for not reading a full thread. Good green. bye.

>>26779084
Actually alcohol is fairly unique in its method of action. Most other drugs don't function as a poison.
I've done a lot of drugs. The worst comedowns I've experienced have been hangovers. Not even speed is as painful to come off of.

>>26779513
>>26779796
>>26780011
Thanks a bunch guys. I guess I'll post with this name when writing stories here. It's really late here in Australia so I'll probably have some more green tomorrow for you. For now Imma sleep.
>>26780073
Lol, now I see what you meant by turnaround end. Thanks, man for going through the effort to give feedback. Hope you enjoyed the continuation.

Why is the thread is not showing up in a catalog?

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>>26780193
This is a dream.
You must escape the cycles, my beloved...
The cycles of guilt.
Don't break the seal.

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>>26780272
nigga wut?

>>26779084
Remember that green that stopped when a griffin snuck a tomato into Anon's food in an attempt to poison him?

I do.

>>26779242
Love it, friend. Good job.

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>Anonymous is the nameless agent from TC's The Division.
>Gets zapped to Equestria.
>Gets a waifu.
>She learns Anon was a secret agent.
>Waifu enjoys supreme "Badass husbando" bragging rights.

>>26779466
>Cardiac Arrection

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>>26780283
That strange dream again, Deja Vu!
It is true that I killed my mentor, and yet, I am not his murderer.

I like the idea of Anon being a prostitute only instead of having sex, he goes back to mare's houses and plays board games with them.


>>26779831
>You are Anon, and today you have seen into infinity.

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>>26780337
>It's Bonbon.
>They secretly make secret love in secret public places like only secret agents can.

>>26779967
>not "plump rump"
plebs

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>>26780337
>crossover

>>26780337
>Waifu knows he is a secret agent, but it doesn't sink in because colts can't into real action
>Anon and Waifu are walking home one night and are accosted by a group of marely mares
>Waifu tries to fight them off while keeping Anon behind her, but Anon rushes forward and beats the shit out of the attackers
>it's like a movie
>shit's so cash
>something something teat twisting

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>>26780365
Shit sis, how could I have fucked that up
>>26780364
Bonbon deserves better than a straight up "zapped to Equestria" crossover.

>>26780366
I like the idea that Harry is so docile because he's just really really fat and lazy. Like, his instincts are telling him to maul you for rubbing his belly, but then he's had to roll over and get up, and in all honesty that belly rub DOES feel pretty good, so he lets you go at it and goes back to sleep.

>>26780381
Good edit. Pinkie is best RGRE waifu.

>>26780379
>Anon secretly modified Waifu to have hidden swords under screw-off teats
>>26779209
This is good.
>>26780305
Someone snuck a tomato into the writefag's food.
RIP

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>>26780381
>>Bonbon deserves better than a straight up "zapped to Equestria" crossover

>Anon is all kinds of fucked up by the things he saw and did in New York.
>Bonbon is mostly healed from the emotional scars her service to Equestria gave her.
>She can see all the signs in Anon.
>Wants to help him because she knows what he's going thorough.
>But why would a colt have such signs?
>Bonbon gets tons of shocks from Anon's tales of the brutal human world and his own personal stories.
>Tension because agent training from both of them demands apathy and detachment.
>Cutesy emotional healing and bonding between the two.
>Silly Lyra/Mane 6 subplot.

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>>26780441
Drop the video game and we have a deal, sis.

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>>26776426

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>>26780461
If you could just read the whole thread you would have noticed that she continued the story here >>26778734, a whole 19! posts later.

>>26780478
>Reading

>>26779135
What? is cupcakes a fucking thing here?

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>tfw NordAnon will never return

>>26780517
Pinkie works in a bakery, so I wouldnt be surprised if she bakes cupcakes.

>>26780441
Silly Lyra, turning dumbass at just the wrong time.

>>26780543
you know what I meant smart ass, never mind I saw the rest.

>>26780478
https://derpiboo.ru/988838

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>>26778170
Fug... I knew, forgot something.

>>26776426
>>26779209
>>26779242
Your writing skillz are superb.
I need to see moar of it. MOAR!

>>26780712
Horn is hidden behind mane or is it forgotten?
Cute either way.

>>26780909
It fell off after she caught Horn Rot.

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>>26780909
Fuuuuuuugggg... Pls forgive me, I'm drunk as fuck right now...

>Be Celestia
>Also be happier than you have been in a long, long time
>You were happy because your assumption had been correct
>Even though your husband had been skeptical about your ability to conceive children with him you had known better
>You could carry his child
>You could have a family with you
>You KNEW this in your heart of hearts
> And a few months after your heat you had gotten undenible proof that you were right
>After feeling a little under the weather on a whim you had taken a pregancy test
>To your absolute surprise and utter joy it had been positive
>You had run out of your bathroom like your tail was on fire so that you could find your husband to tell him the news
>Anon had carried you back to your bedroom and had all but forced you take about half a dozen other tests
>When those had all been postive your sunshine had somehow gotten his hands on the royal physician and had all but forced her to check you over
>During that examination both you and Anonymous had been bouncing around the room like a couple of antsy children
>You both hoped with all of your hearts that the tests you had taken weren't faulty
>You so desperately wanted them to be right
>And they were
>After an hour of checking you over the doctor had announced that you were with child
>To say that the two of us were excited was the understand of the century
>You suspected that the whole of Canterlot could heard your husband's wonderfully silly laugh as he picked you up, tears streaming down his face, and spun you around, exclaiming loudly to the whole world that he was going to be daddy
>You weren't too proud to admit that you had cried like a little colt yourself, wrapping both your hooves and wings around your husband's neck and holding onto him as hard as you could
>You were going to be a momma!
>He was going to be a daddy!
>You were going to have a child!
>News got out quick that Princess Celestia Solare, the Princess of the Sun, was with child

>>26780305
I remember that green too, friendo.

>>26780970
>From what you had been told every major city in Equestria had celebrated
>For WEEKS you and Anonymous had gotten letters of encouragement and congratulations from foal and adult alike
>It truly warmed your heart that you little ponies had taken the news to well
>Just like when you had managed to work up the courage to ask Anonymous for his hoof in married you had been worried that your subjects would have been outraged that you were going to have a child that might be... different
>But you had been never so wrong
>Not only did they wholehearted welcome your sunshine into the royal family it looked like they were going to give the welcome of the century to your little filly or foal
>You had a husband that you loved more than the sun itself, your people loved and supported your and you were with child
>You and Anon were having a baby
>One that had come from your loins
>A child that was YOURS
>But you were still a Princess of Equestria!
>Even though you had a baby growing in your belly didn't mean you could just slack off!
>No!
>There was still too much work to be done!
>You had laws to pass and diplomats to see and duties to get done!
>But, most importantly, you needed to make sure that your child came into the safest, most stable world imaginable!
>They needed a safe city where they could play safely!
>They needed the best schooling that bits could buy!
>There needed to be more toy stores and soda shops so you could take them to places after preschool so you could bond as a family!
>Your husband, the brains of your relationship, had said that your desire to turn Canterlot into the most perfect child-rearing enviroment ever imagined was a noble idea
>...But in the same sentence he had said that you were a curd head that needed to take it easy
>You had another "passenger on board" as he said it
>Which meant that you needed to take care of yourself a bit better
>That meant eating better
>That meant getting more sleep

>>26781034
>That meant taking a load off and taking it easy
>So you had, under your husband's insistence, given the majority of your duties to your sister and your student Twilight
>No more stressful work for you!
>Nope!
>You had the next twelve months to yourself so that you could re-lax
>Something which you hadn't been able to do since...
>...
>...
>...
>...Forever?
>You honestly couldn't remember the last time that you re-laxed...
>You barely knew the word really...
>Even saying it felt... wrong
>So yeah
>Forever
>But you wanted your child to be healthy when it was born so you had bucked down and gave it a try
>You spent some time with your husband
>You read a few books
>You cleaned up your room a little bit
>And you could honestly say, after experiencing all that re-laxing had to offer, you found that you really didn't care all that much for it
>You didn't care for it at all
>You were used to working from sun up to sunset
>Meeting with ponies, signing and revising documents, getting things done like the marely mare that you were!
>You were a workaholic!
>And you needed you fix DARN IT!
>And all of this waiting around and doing nothing was KILLING YOU!
>And that feeling of bordom/anxiety wasn't helped in any way when your hormones had started running wild during the second and third month of your pregnancy
>You might not have gotten any morning sickness (thank the gods) but that didn't mean you didn't have some problems
>More than once you had gone down to the kitchen and eaten an entire tub of crunchy peanut butter mixed with ketchup and Worcester sauce
>Once or twice you had woken up in the middle of the night with the sudden but all-consuming urge to hold your husband down and rut him until his pelvis broke
>And you weren't even going to get into all of your trips to the bathroom
>...Your child was barely formed and they were already using your bladder as a punching bag...

>>26776097
Oh sweet jesus beat my again my heart!

>>26781075
>But even through all of that horse apples you had carried yourself through your pregnancy with dignity and grace
>Even when your stomach started to swell up and your body started aching in all of the wrong places
>Even when you started going to the bathroom more than twenty times a day
>And even when you had accidently eaten your husband's shirt in your sleep because you had been dreaming of ice cream and carrots
>Because you were going to be a mommy
>A mother
>A mum
>A mama
>After month six you had even managed to convince your husband let you to take on a few of your old duties!
>Though you had waddle around to get to places and the toilet bowl was starting to become your new royal throne you could still see to the diplomats!
>And most of the time that was a heck of a lot more enjoyable than it was stressful!
>Which was what you were doing today
>Queen Amira and King Haakim had come all the way from Saddle Arabia to come see you
>They had insisted that it was to revise some trade agreement but you knew better
>The Rulers of the Red Desert had come all this way to see your swollen belly and tease you about it
>Not that you minded; you had done the same with Amira with her first foal
>So there the three of you were, sitting in your private study with a cup of tea in front of you and a bowl full of hay, sauerkraut and mayonnaise, chatting about the topic of children
>"So how has your husband been taking all of this, Celestia?" Haakim asked, mischief in his eyes. "Has he been tearing through the shops grabbing every diaper and bottle that he can get?"
>You quietly groaned as you shoveled another spoonful of your... food into your mouth
>Hmmm...
>Sauerkraut-y
"Actually, Anon's been oddly calm about this," you said. "He's been--"
>Your eyes widened and you quickly put your spoon down
"I need to use the restroom. Excuse me."
>Both Haakim and Amira giggled knowingly as you stood up and made your way toward the bathroom

>>26781119
>Whoooooo
>Momma needs to go baaaaaaaad!

>Be Prince Anonymous
>Also be pretty annoyed at the moment
>You were walking through the castle with a big glass full of some weird drink that your wife had to drink
>You didn't know WHY she had to drink it, something about it being filled with a whole bunch of essential vitamins and minerals, but what you did know was that she had to drink at least ONE of these glasses a day
>And while Celestia had been eating some weird shit since she had gotten pregnant this drink was a no-go for her
>She HATED the taste and did her best to stay as far away from this drink as possible
>So, being the wonderful husband that you were, you had decided to take it upon yourself to make sure that you wife drank her mystery beverage every single day
>Even if she didn't want to
>Usually it'd be a pain in the ass to track her down but today she was entertaining guests in her private study
>So all you'd have to do was go in there and make her guzzle down her drink and all would be well
>Everyone could continue about their day and you could get your work done
>...Hopefully
>As you arrived at the little room you could see two little horse guards standing there doing what their name suggested
>Seeing you they saluted, stepping away from the door and even opening it for you
>Your wife had tried to be silly and use her guard to keep you away from her when you were coming for drink time but the guard knew better
>They knew who wore the pants about this castle
>Even though you were going to come into the room anyway you decided to be nice and knock
"Celly? You in there? I got your drink."
>"Is that you Anonymous? Please, please, come in!"
>Hmmm...
>Was that Amira and her medium-sized horse husband?
>It sure sounded like them...
>Stepping into the room you see that it was indeed the Saddle Arabians, both of which were smiling warmly at you
>Closing the door behind you you couldn't help but smile back

>>26778734
kek
poor ponk

>Out of all of the rulers that Celestia had introduced you too these two were the one's that you liked the most
>Even if they got a little... weird every once in a while...
>"Good afternoon, my lord," Amira said with an inclination of the head. "It is wonderful to see you again."
>"We were wondering if we were even going to see you in this trip," Haakim added as you walked over and sat down. "What with you being so terribly busy all hours of the day."
>You looked over toward the bathroom
"Is my wife getting some business done?"
>The royal couple nodded as you sat the glass down onto the table
>"Yes, the poor thing ran to the bathroom like her tail was on fire," Haakim said, a look of pity on his face
>Even Amira's nose scrunched up
>"It was the same when I was with my first child," she told you. "Running to the bathroom every five minutes... If was not an enjoyable experience to say the least..."
>She nudged her head toward the bowl of...
>...
>What the hell was your wife even eating?
>"That and all of the odd food cravings..."
>Haakim let out a giggle
>"I swear to the stars that she asked our chefs for meat in the seventh month of her pregnancy," he said, leaning against his wife and nuzzling her cheek
>You rested your elbows on the table, your smile widening
"Oh really?"
>Amira must not have liked the tone of your voice because the smile left her face
>Meanwhile, the grin on Haakim's smile grew
>This little horse knew what you were getting at
>You see, you liked to play a game with the rulers of other countries
>A game that only their husbands or significant others really liked to play
>It was "lets tell embarrassing stories about our wives and see how flustered they get because of it"
>You were VERY good at this game
>And as luck could have it so was Haakim
>"Oh it wasn't all bad," the stallion said, trying to act as casual as possible. "You should have seen the way that my little desert rose started to curl into a ball while she slept."
"Sounds cute."

>>26781113
You might want to avoid these posts then.
>>26780958
>>26780712

>>26781214
>"It warmed my heart every time she did it, especially when she started to rub her stomach and whisper things to our unborn child when she thought that I was asleep."
>Both your and Haakim's smiles grew as Amira started to loudly sweat
> It was time to twist some teats
>IT was time to twist some teats real, REAL hard...

>Be Celestia
>Oh sweet baby Luna that was a close one!
>You almost didn't make it to the bathroom in time!
>And when it was all said and done you were pretty sure that you broke a sweat!
>...Yep, you broke a sweat!
>Fanning yourself with a wing you quickly rinsed off your hooves
>You could hear laughter coming from the other side of the door
>Huh...
>It sounded like somepony else was out there with the royal couple...
>Who were Amira and Haakim talking to?
>A small, curious frown came to your face as you walked over toward the door and began to open it, curious as to who else would be in the room with them
>It probably wouldn't be Luna since the lazy-bum was still sleeping
>It wouldn't have been Discord because only he'd be laughing
>Twilight was probably in the middle of court right now to it wasn't her
>So who could it be?...
>Opening the door you saw Amira had draped herself around your husband, her, Haakim, and Anon laughing their heads off
>...
>Now
>You knew that Saddle Arabian culture was a good deal different from Equestrian culture
>Their ideas of personal space were a lot different from your little ponies
>What Amira was doing was in no way sexual or questionable to your husband
>She was just being friendly because her and him were friends
>In your head you knew that
>You KNEW it
>But, as you stood there watching a mare touching YOUR stallion, you couldn't help but let out an angry, horsey snort
>An anger started to well inside of you
>An ancient, primal anger
>Anger one only feels when they see a rival attempting to steal their mate

>>26781270
>This anger came on so quickly and with such ferocity that you commonsense was washed away in a tide of rage
>Anon was YOUR's!
>YOOOOUUUUUURRRRRR'SSSSSSS!
>Nopony else could have him!
>NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT!
>Your eyes narrowed and your horn sparked to life
>Both Anon and that HUSSY let out yelp as you picked Anon up and placed him in your chair
>Not anypony else's chair
>YOUR'S
>That was YOUR bucking chair!
>Puffing your chest out and spreading your wings you stomped toward the table
>YEAAAAHHHH!
>GET A LOOK AT THIS PLUMAGE HERE FILLY!
>THERE'S MORE THAN ENOUGH HERE TO BEAT YOU WITH!
>MORETHANENOUGH!!!
>"Oh, there you are, Celestia," your husband said as you walked over toward to him. "We were just-"
>You quickly neighed at the stallion of your dreams, shushing him up
>Mommy didn't have time to talk, honey pie!
>Right now she had a stallion stealer to deal with!
>Amira opened her mouth to say something but you whinnied, puffing your cheeks out and standing on your tippy hooves
>YEAH!
>LOOK AT HOW TALL I AM!
>I'M THE BIGGEST THAT THERE EVER WAS!
>BE THREATENED YOU BUCKING PONYLET!
>Your nostrils flared
>YOUR SCENT WASN'T ON ANONYMOUS!
>HOW THE HAY WERE YOU SUPPOSED TO KEEP OTHER MARES OFF YOUR STALLION IF HE DIDN'T HAVE YOUR STINK?!
>YOU'D FIX THAT RIGHT UP BUTTERCUP!
>AND AFTER THAT YOU'D BEAT THE HORSE APPLES OUT OF THIS HUSSY AND HER HUSBAND!
>WHY?!
>BECAUSE YOU WERE BUCKING PRINCESS CELESTIA!
>AND NOPONY TRIES TO STEAL YOUR MAN AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!
>[Angry horse noises intensifies]

TIME FOR L&P

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>>26781299
>Be Stalwart Shield
>Ya yeah!
>Your shift was over!
>Time to get some grub and hit the hay!
>You hummed a little tune to yourself as you walked down the hallway
>It had been another easy, boring day
>Which, oddly enough, you were days you were starting to really enjoy
>You guess that Gungho was right...
>You SHOULD just sit back and smell the--
>"GET THE BUCK BACK HERE!!!"
BOOM!
>The castle suddendly and unexpectedly began to shake, the sounds of explosions and things breaking coming from not far from where you were
>With a yelp you lost your footing and hit the ground with a painful thud
>What in the name of Celestia was THAT?!
>As you looked down the hall, your eyes wide, you got to watch as Prince Anonymous, wearing nothing but some horribly torn underwear, sprinted down the hallway as fast as his feet could take him
>In either arm were the King and Queen of Saddle Arabia, both whom looked as ragged as he did, screaming in their native language
>Though you didn't know any desert talk you were pretty sure that they were screaming "GO FASTER!"
>...
>...
>...
>What the buck was going--
BOOM!
>You kissed the ground as another explosion rocked the castle
>Not a second later Princess Celestia, her mane and tail ablaze, flew around the corner
>"ANONYMOUS! YOU PUT THAT HUSSY DOWN RIGHT NOW SO SHE CAN FIGHT ME MARE-TO-MARE!!!"
>"Get your ass moving, Private," the prince roared. "My wife's letting her hormones get the better of her!"
>"I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I'M COMPLETELY CALM THANK YOU VERY MUCH! NOW PUT HER DOWN SO I CAN BREAK HER!"
>"STOP GETTING YOURSELF SO WORKED UP! YOU'RE GOING TO HURT THE BABY!"
>"COME HERE AND LET ME RUB MYSELF ON YOOOUUUU!!!!"
>You are Stalwart Shield
>You are now running through the hallways of Castle Canterlot like your tail was on fire
>And right now you're staring to think that you should have taken your dad's advice and been a dentist
>...You would have been a GOOD dentist...

>>26781331
I kinda didn't like how this one came out but whatever. I hope you guys like it. I'm done

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>>26781331
Yuss.

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>>26781340

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>>26781331
I love it!

just imagine Celestia chasing Anon down that hallway making T rex noises.

>>26781331
Hey there will be more of this right?

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>>26781340
I give it Bueno/Bueno

>>26781299
God damn it L&P I was in the middle of class when I broke down laughing

>>26781034
>Just like when you had managed to work up the courage to ask Anonymous for his hoof in married
>for his hoof in married
marriage

>>26781331
>>Be Stalwart Shield
I want to believe there are guards like this. who sign up for honor and duty and shit and who end up spending their whole lives shaking their heads internally at all the weird shit that goes down in Canterlot Castle.

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>>26781331
Poor little guards. They have it so hard.

>>26774466
bump

Does anyone have that NOF changeling oneshot? Shit was AMAZING.

>>26781331
kek
I love your Celestia, LaP.

>>26782496
I want thing.

>>26782496
>NOF
Is he kill?

>>26782603
Trying to get a job is taking up his time iirc.

>>26782496
https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26482536/#q26492276

>Mares wearing a suit is the equivalent of crossdressing
>Anon goes to Rarity's boutique for some repairs only to see her in an outfit similar to Filthy Rich's

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>>26782913
I like suits. And uniforms.

>>26782929
You degenerate. Just keep your window closed. What is foals saw?

>>26776426
More please, also namefag.

>>26776426
Pinkie Pie is the broliest bro that ever broed

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Hey
Hey sisters
Look

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>>26783257

>>26783257
Nice work lad

>>26783257
Look's nice.

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>>26783341 >>26783314 >>26783282
Thumb version for actual RGRE thread posting
Should look fine-ish on catalog page
Shukaka will never notice it anyway ^:'(

>>26783257
Erect shield, keep those changelings out, and make Queen Chrysalis pay for it.
Stop griffon immigration until we can insure that their violent behavior can be fixed.

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>>26783282 >>26783314 >>26783341 >>26783257 >>26783414
Non-meta wallpaper just in case anyone needs this shit.
Also, what should I spoof next?

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>>26783426
Something about maternity?

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>>26783449

>>26783479
>You will never use your baby to play keep-away with your wife.

>>26783479
Wait, Can someone else confirm that that babies penis is visible in that image? Please tell me I'm imagining things.

>>26783530
It is. What about it?

>>26783380
I read every post that's posted.

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>>26783479

>>26783530
It used to represent innocence and youth in most cultures, before people went nuts with pedophile hysteria sometime in the 80s/90s. It's not like there's anything new sexually arousing about a young boy's penis, right?

>>26783633
BLARG, grammar.

*Its not like there's anything sexually arousing about a young boy's penis, right?

>>26783510

But they already have something like that in real life. It's called a custody battle.

>>26783449
>>26783479
IMPREGNATE

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>>26783688

page 9 page 9 warning warning

Here's a question to stir up some posts.
It is a mild spoiler.
Where would Luna take out a colt for a date?
What would a mare bring as gifts for a colt on a date?
Where would Cadence take Shining on a date?
Will Luna put out on her first date?

>>26784489
Yes to all.

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>>26783688

>>26783902

>Anon and horsewaifu have a messy divorce
>They both want sole custody over the kids

How would it go?

>>26784523
pls dont bring the horror that is divorce courts into my pony

>>26784489
moonlit walk down a ye olden beach
a cock sock
pony hooters
>sex before marriage

>>26784537

We've had marriage RGRE, so why not talk about the opposite?

>>26784489
Ren fair
a delicious bouquet of flowers
Local equivalent of make-out point
Of Course

>>26784489
LUNA would feel the need to take Anon someplace where she could COURT him. Most Canterlot ponies, with their obsession with status in these modern times, would usually suggest a place where they can see and be seen. A fancy place. Not LUNA. She's technically a kind of outsider. Everything she knows about courting is out of date, and she's relying on what others tell her on how to proceed, probably her sister or an assistant. Either way, she hoping to score the D after the first date.

Where would Cadence take Shiny? Well, depends on how the dynamic with her relationship with him is. If she's an alpha mare Canterlot style, she'd want to want to go swanky to impress him, or maybe something more low key if they're already established as having dated for a good bit. It's the difference between where you take a girl on a first date as opposed to a first date.

>>26784563
>>26784577
Well, both of you have question 4 wrong.

>>26784551
1 and 4 are good, the other two... eh...

>>26784489
Luna would take a colt to a restaurant where she makes loud demands to the serving staff in a display of dominance and social-superiority. Now her date knows that she is a high-standing mare who commands respect and can provide for him.

A mare from Luna's day would give a colt a cock-sheath sleeve. It comes from an ancient custom where stallions were expected to cover themselves up so that they would remain pure and unseen for marriage. Luna sees that Anon is wearing stuff to cover his groin already and assumes that he's wearing an impromptu covering. She gifts him a cock-sheath sleeve woven out of gold to impress him. A normal mare would probably give her stallion a box of pedals from his favourite flower; a feed-bag full of oats and raisins; or some small trinket that would be worn on the ear or in the mane.

Cadence is young and inexperienced (with a proper date, I mean. Slut.) so she wouldn't be very subtle when it comes to showing off the fact that she's royalty. I'd say she'd take her date to a very fancy place to eat where the items on the menu are in another language and there are 14 spoons and forks that the poor colt has to deal with. Colt doesn't know what the fuck he's supposed to eat with or why he has TWO salad forks and yet three salads to eat.

Absolutely. Back in Luna's day, you dated with the intent of finding a mate to father your children. Considering how violent competition could be for a mate (1000 years ago), Luna makes a judgement call right at the end of the first date.

I think 4chan ate my post.

>>26784489
Luna would take a colt to a restaurant where she makes loud demands to the serving staff in a display of dominance and social-superiority. Now her date knows that she is a high-standing mare who commands respect and can provide for him.

A mare from Luna's day would give a colt a cock-sheath sleeve. It comes from an ancient custom where stallions were expected to cover themselves up so that they would remain pure and unseen for marriage. Luna sees that Anon is wearing stuff to cover his groin already and assumes that he's wearing an impromptu covering. She gifts him a cock-sheath sleeve woven out of gold to impress him. A normal mare would probably give her stallion a box of pedals from his favourite flower; a feed-bag full of oats and raisins; or some small trinket that would be worn on the ear or in the mane.

Cadence is young and inexperienced (with a proper date, I mean. Slut.) so she wouldn't be very subtle when it comes to showing off the fact that she's royalty. I'd say she'd take her date to a very fancy place to eat where the items on the menu are in another language and there are 14 spoons and forks that the poor colt has to deal with. Colt doesn't know what the fuck he's supposed to eat with or why he has TWO salad forks and yet three salads to eat.

Absolutely. Back in Luna's day, you dated with the intent of finding a mate to father your children. Considering how violent competition could be for a mate (1000 years ago), Luna makes a judgement call right at the end of the first date.

>>26784622
nvm

>>26784489
>Where would Luna take out a colt for a date?
A fancy restaurant, because that's what a mare's supposed to do right? Both of them hate the place and end up cutting it short in favor of a walk down one of those festive piers a la Coney Island where they can relax and play silly games. Luna wins a plush for Venus
>What would a mare bring as gifts for a colt on a date?
Luna would probably go a little overboard and get a bouquet of flowers. Anon gets a kick out of it, takes out a rose and breaks the stem so he can use it to decorate his lapel
>Where would Cadence take Shining on a date?
Someplace extremely low key where she could bail if the date even shows a hint of going sour. I'm thinking a place like one of those bowling alley/arcade entertainment style places. I like this idea because it would make an interesting reflection of my suggestion in the spoiler: Cadence and anon would end up in somewhat similar places for vastly different reasons
>Will Luna put out on her first date?
Absolutely not. Mama didn't raise no playmare

New thread when?

>>26784701
what are you talking about?

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>>26784489
>Where would Luna take out a colt for a date?
To some of the most beautiful places she remembers from before her banishment. Most are ruins or gone so she keeps having to apologize. Anon is touched that she is showing him things from her past and enjoys the exotic landscapes.
>What would a mare bring as gifts for a colt on a date?
A mare or Luna herself? Luna would bring Anons a fine bottle of wine after celestia switched it out for the sword of an old defeated enemy that Luna was going to bring.
>Where would Cadence take Shining on a date?
Somewhere classically romantic like a beach at sunset or something like that. However she would probably not take him to a place that would be special for him due to her being a little self centered in this story
>Will Luna put out on her first date?
This question should be "Will Anon put out on the first date?". I think Lunaif she really liked a stallion would go for it if he was interested.

>>26784826
Dammit Celestia, her initial present would be way better than a bottle of wine.

>>26784606
>>26784826
it's like you never read the story. Luna has already stated her position on #4.

how would ponies react is they herd Anon sing this at a bar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkkzNa2nlZI

>>26774466
This pic made me think of this.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/230582/why-ancient-rituals-dont-always-work

Anon stages an RGRE version of Macbeth, starring Cadence as Marebeth, Twilight as Manequo, and Princess Celestia as Queen Duncan.
It goes awry when Anon fails to inform his actors about the 'Macbeth' curse... And Cadence ends up with a real dagger instead of a prop one...

>>26784967
I didn't know it would be on the test. Shit, how much was this worth? 15% of my final grade?

>>26785894
10 more pages of green by monday!

>>26785941
Yes.

>>26785594
Anon stages an RGRE version of A Midsummer Night's Dream starring Rarity as Puck, Moondancer as Demetrius, and Shining Armour as Oberon. Rarity wears blackface when her character gets turned into a donkey.

>>26785941
Y-yes, sir. Do you want it done in MLA format this time?

>>26785995
MLA? What does this look like? A humanities course?

>>26786067
I took a philosophy class once, and they wanted the essays in that format. It was a pretty cool class. I still have the assigned textbooks and I read them from time to time.

>>26786090
I prefer the ASCE format for work as it looks more afficial

>>26786067
MLA is the format for english and humanities courses, yeah. APA is used for the scientifically inclined. having done both I'd say APA is more annoying personally

>>26786105
Ouch.

>>26786166
That wasn't a slam to you in any way, shape or form Apa. You crack me up.

>>26786217
COME ON AND SLAM
AND WELCOME TO JAPAN

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>>26784489

1. She would probably ask her sister for advice.
Celestia's more up to date with modern day courting.
Also, Celly have spent a lot of time with Anon, so she knows that he's more marely than any other stallion out there.
He dosen't give a fug about girly/stalliony stuff like flowers, fancy food, or romantic mood.
She tells Luna that she should take him on a date to amusement park to ride a big ass rollercoaster with him, or something similar.

2.If you go with the amusement park idea, Luna could win a prize for Anon in one of the game booths.
It would be 'marely' and could be funny at the same time, because we all know that those games are rigged as fuck and Luna have a short temper.

3.In this story Cadence is a very self-centered character, so somewhere fun for her, but not so fun for Shiny.
Maybe wonderbolts race/show, hoofball game, cider drinking competition (she would shitfaced herself there for greater effect), or any other marely entertainment.

4.It depends on how much Anon will want to get a piece of that delicious moon pie.
What kind of arguments/moves/saucy words he'll use to make Luna hot and bothered.

>>26786217
That's the joke, you silly.

>>26786628
>Saucy words
"A dozen foals"

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>>26786946
I like the way you think

>>26784826
>>Where would Luna take out a colt for a date?
>To some of the most beautiful places she remembers from before her banishment. Most are ruins or gone so she keeps having to apologize. Anon is touched that she is showing him things from her past and enjoys the exotic landscapes.
>What would a mare bring as gifts for a colt on a date?
A mare or Luna herself? Luna would bring Anons a fine bottle of wine after celestia switched it out for the sword of an old defeated enemy that Luna was going to bring.

>A mare or Luna herself? Luna would bring Anons a fine bottle of wine

this could be a story in its self

>luna takes anon to a place she remembers 1000 years before
>its in ruins but they both explore anyway
>fine an undisturbed wine cellar
>*insert what happens here next*

>>26787391
>Find 1000 year old wine
>It's turned into vinegar
>"Buck."

>>26787495
you know it could be magic wine

cuz magic dun need to explain shit

>>26787495
>Find 1000 year old wine
>Shit tastes like battery acid
>Reminds you of home
"Shiiiiiiieet"

>>26783623
Фy, кaк oмepзитeльнo.
>>26783510 >>26783530 >>26783753
Foals - the herd's pride. Foals - the people's future.

>>26777360
if i had to say anything, in a world with ponies, and unless stated otherwise, its assumed all alcohol is weak as shit and drugs are barely effective, if i was in that anons shoes, id just take the getting drugged as a bit of a bonus...

and i say this as a guy who is on and off of drugs that can fuck them up but the doses are so low the amount of fucked up is mild at best, if i just randomly felt really good or just got drowsy, i wouldn't mind much... this is at least as the story sounds the first time he was legitly out of it.

>>26778674
yes, there was.
in show pinkie is annoying,
comic pinkie is pretty cool,
fannon pinkie is the best pinkie can possibly be.
i will never forget the story that made me like her as a character, even if the story was never binned
"hes a pony to me"

>>26778126
pinkie visiting anon to make sure hes ok, not brining shit up, and trying to judge if anon was serious or if it was just high talk talking.

>>26787876
You were 2 posts off from being 787878 and 15 seconds from posting at 00:00:00 this triggers my autism

>>26780458
Better yet, fuck new york, bring it from harran.

crosspostan
>>26786659
>Be Rararara, squiggle horse In Equestria
>It's three AM in the morning, AM
>This is the perfect time to seduce your waifu Anon
>Such a marely mare, always dressing in style
>Your hoof reaches backwards
>ALWAYS DRESSING IN STYLE
>No rarara, not now. You're on a mission.
>You leave your shoprosel and briskly trot over to Anon's house
>The doors are locked, but that isn't going to stop a unicorn of your calibre
>You charge your magic and teleport into the house
>You charge your magic and teleport out of the wall
>You're sure it's easy enough to fix a pony-sized hole in a wall
>So which room is Anonymous's bedroom?
>You carefully sneak through the house, opening doors as quietly as you can
>After a few false starts, you come across your target, sleeping on that princess-sized bed
>Her clothes litter the floor, oh so many clothes.
>You can't help yourself, and spend a minute rolling around in them.
>Once you manage to overcome your lapse of decorum, you approach HER
>As gently as you can, you climb up onto the bed
>She looks so peaceful as you stand over her
>OOF!
>Anon's grabbed you in her sleep!
>What's that down there on your flank?
"EEP!"
>IN YOUR FLANK!
>Is that a penis?!
>YOUR WAIFU HAS A PENIS!
>Your waifu has a penis and it's in you!
>You're having sex with your waifu!
>It may not be what you expected, but you'll take it.

>>26781340
It was good.

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>>26788090
>Harran
>Picrelated
I don't see why you would want to write an Anon from here
>>26788067
oh noes I almost got a get.
jk I'm not new enough to care.
>>26783606
I know I'm useless, Shuks, it's ok bby

>>26788137
Durnk, ur a p[retty ok mare
And here Rarity thought she was breaking into the house of her good old girl pal

>>26788138
I was making a play at dying light over division as a backstory.

>>26779150
in all seriousness, i have 3 friends who if they called me i would say yes, and one friend who may say yes if i made the call.

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>>26788165
>Video game backstory
And their interactions are from some yet another existing thang?

>>26780305
anyone got a link to it?

>>26779084
alcohol gives you a hangover due to dehydration, not exactly because of poison.

>>26788250
To be honest it is kind of lame, but why not run with it?

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>>26788273
To be fair, even if you think of it yourself - it's probably already been done.
Everything is lame.
...

>>26784489
luna is so out of touch that she would consult other people, so the better question is who would she ask for help?

what would a man get a woman, then ponify it.

shining seems kind of like anon in a world of "marely mares" so the question is does she understand that aspect of him or not?

and mares in rgre seem to be men, if they find out they can get the dick they will, the question again becomes would anon offer up the dick on a first date, and how much he likes her.

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>>26786946
The restaurant was flooded.

>>26780393
that sounds real fuckin' NATO.

>>26788708
Anon what does rubbing a bear's tummy have to do with the North Atlantic Treaty Organization?

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>>26788730

>>26788738
oh you motherfucker you nearly rused me.

Femanon here,
I have a confession to make. I need to share with someone even though It's really embarrassing .I don't know why I'm telling
/mlp/. I guess It's cause I feel like minded. Maybe you guys would help me.
I don't remember how old I was when I had sex for the first time because my dad has been fucking me since I can remember.
I still don't enjoy sex with him to this day. (Sometimes I do cum, It's not intentional.)
I am 19 and still let him fuck me because I don't think it's his fault.
He just looks at it as gratifying and isn't very in touch with reality.
Since he is my dad I never thought about turning him in because I love him
(in a platonic way) and don't want to see him in prison.
A while back though... My mom walked in on us. It was so embarrassing. She left the room and you could hear
her groaning and getting sick as we frantically got dressed.
My dad looked pale white and walked in to console her only to find she couldn't be reasoned with.
You see, it turns out my mother was a bear and we didn't know and she attacked and ate my dad's face.
We haven't seen her since. But every now and again we see that our trash has been picked through.
We always wonder if it's her.

>>26788753
Now femanon, I want to try and help you through this trying time, but tradition does dictate you show your tits before we proceed so we can confirm your story and existence.

>>26788753
Kek, I remember this copypasta.
No paste this one about sexualy identifyingoneself with an attack helicopter.

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>>26788778
>implying there are colts on the ponynet
sheath or gtfo
>>26788753
mmm, stale copypasta. how fucking delicious.

>>26788753
>Human dude Anon ends up in Equestria
>Ponies think he's a bear
>Anon tries to convince them otherwise
>Ponies play along because they don't want to deal with an angry bear
>Applejack and Pinkie both see through this bullshit
>Applejack is dismissed as "A silly pony"
>Pinkie is assumed to just be being kind to her new bear friend

>>26788852
people still copy pasta? Is this 2002?

>>26788857
"Morning Pinkie, can I get a double chocolate muffin please?"
>"Double Choc-muff for Anon please!
>"That'll be three bits please, Nonny-McGonny"
"Thanks, Panko"
>>"Here you go dearie, a nice fresh salmon! All for you! pleasedon'teatmeandmychildren,takemypinkieinstead"
"I wanted a muffin. I paid for a muffin. Why you gotta do this?"
>>"Stop growling, there's a nice monster... Just eat your nummy fishy"
"Oh FUCK OFF"
>>"EEP!"
>"I can make funny noises too! WBLBLBLBLBBLBLPFT"

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>>26788880
I sexually identify as a single, Pringle, ready to mingle. Ever since I was a potato I dreamed of being thin sliced, covered in disgusting oil then heated in a medium oven until reaching climax at the micro second of golden-browness. People bully me, and say things like “what the fuck, you aren’t a Pringle”, but I know deep down they are just jealous of my inner beauty. I have already started hiding in cylinders all day, and now im improving my crunchiness by regularly burning my sides on the stove. I want you guys to respect my natural ability to instantly satisfy low salt carb cravings, and if you don’t you are oppressing me, and you should check your diabetes type. Thank you for being so understanding.

>>26788920
10/10 would kek agian

>>26780356
Awww yeah! Mah nigga! I loved playing E.Y.E Divine Cybermancy. A pony crossover would likely end with ponies trying to hack Anon get that sweet D all the time

>>26789235
>This stupid crossover seems to be just another video game insert, and thus pointless for our operations. Our scientists are very skeptical concerning this crossover, and even think it's a hoax.

>>26789257
Our expertise provides the power to cancel crossovers, and preventing them to happen. The thread regenerates at an incredible speed thanks to our integrated writefags.
it most definitely would be a stupid crossover, especially considering how niche of a game it was

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>>26789327
It was great.

>>26788915
>Anon is mistaken for different animals all over Equestria

>>26789402
>Anon is mistaken for a female all over Equestria
Frosty, come back..

New story from me.

>You are Fluttershy, and today you are going to prove to your friends that you are a real mare!
>You are going to march right up to Anon and you are going to ask him out on a date
>You don't care how embarrassing this is going to be
>You don't care that other mares will start making zoophile jokes behind your back again
>You don't think they ever really stopped, even after Rainbow Dash beat up that group of mares for doing it, they just were quieter about it now
>You owe it to your friends to finally mare up and grow a spine
>You've been whining to your friends about tfw no coltfriend for months now
>Rarity took all your Neighponese comic books and burned them since they were just making you sad
>Pinkie Pie tried to set you up on some blind dates but you panicked and chickened out
>Meeting random stallions would be too scary
>But Rainbow Dash has been a real sis these past few months
>She really listened to you when you bared your heart to her
>Every time she came around the cottage she would talk to you about stallions and your feelings and stuff
>And you know she hates talking about feelings and stuff
>She's really been there for you
>She's the reason you're going to ask out Anon
>You bet Rainbow thinks she was being real subtle too
>All the time when you were talking she'd randomly bring up Anon occasionally
>How he's been doing
>What he was doing that day
>The latest hijinks he's been in with pinkie
>She really made Anon out to be a great guy
>Not that you didn't know already
>He was always really sweet to you, no matter how awkward you were
>Rainbow obviously wants you to ask him out
>And the more you think about him the more it seems like a good idea
>He really seems to understand what it's like to be a mare
>You and Rainbow even talked about how he would react to a mare asking him out
>He admittedly reacted pretty badly the first few weeks he was here when mares were hitting on him
>But those mares were being pretty rude and very grabby

>>26789424
uh oh love triangle imminent

>>26789424
>Most mares have left him alone since then
>He did make it quite clear what he thought about ponies not taking him seriously
>But you both agreed that if somepony really bared their heart out to Anon he would be kind
>He wouldn't be like other stallions, gossiping behind ponies backs
>He would let a mare down softly...
>...Or maybe not let them down at all
>So you are walking through the streets of ponyville towards the park where Anon will be
>He's been busking lately on weekends for extra cash, gathering quite a crowd sometimes with his guitar
>You hope there isn't much of a crowd today
>You'll be worried enough without a crowd to make you even more nervous
>As you reach Ponyville's Park your heart is pounding
>You feel your knees shaking and your wings quivering against you
>But you push on anyway, knowing that no matter what happens today you'll feel better than yesterday
>Even if you get rejected it's still Anon, he'll let you down softly, and you'll still be friends afterwards
>But you're really hoping he'll say yes
>You even went out and bought a really nice bouquet of flowers to give to Anon
>They're tucked beneath your wing as you walk through the park
>You hope you aren't crushing them
>Or sweating on them
>Are you sweating?
>You hope you aren't sweating
>As you crest a hill you spot him
>You breath a sigh of relief as you see he doesn't have too large of a crowd
>Okay Fluttershy, show time
>You take a few deep breaths to prepare yourself
>However as you gather yourself you spot something colourful out of the corner of your eye
>Oh hey, Rainbow Dash is here
>She must be here to see how you're going
>Wait, you never mentioned to Rainbow Dash that you planned to do this...
>What's that she's holding under her wings?
>Flowers
>She's holding flowers and she's heading straight for Anon

>>26789469
>No
>Your breaths start coming in quick shaky bursts
>She walks right up to Anon
>You start shaking your head
>You can tell even at this distance that she's nervous
>But you can see her plant herself with determination as she looks up from the ground and speaks to Anon
>'Say no' one part of you immediately wishes, while another part tears you up inside for being such an awful pony
>She presents him the flowers
>'PLEASE SAY NO' a part of you begs, while the other little pony in your head twists the knife deeper
>You don't even deserve Anon
>You're an awful friend, you'd be an even worse marefriend
>Anon picks Rainbow Dash up from the ground, surprising her
>They kiss
>The crowd cheers and laughs
>You begin to cry
>Why are you crying?
>You didn't lose anything
>Hell, Rainbow Dash just saved you a lot of embarrassment
>Now you don't have to be in front of all those ponies
>You don't want to be in front of anypony right now
>You should be happy for her
>Your best friend has a coltfriend now
>She's going to be real happy
>Why aren't you happy for her, she got there first, it's in the sis code...
>You're a real mare right?
>You're a good sis for your friend right?
>You turn around and start to make your way home
>You're glad you decided to buy flowers
>You'd like something to snack on while you cry yourself to sleep tonight

That's it from me for today. Sorry for being late, I had a mix of writers block and extreme frustration trying to get cryengine to actually fucking work. I'm beginning to see why they changed to a free model if this is the quality I should be expecting just from trying to make an account.
Feedback and Criticism encouraged, I'm always happy to find ways to improve.

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>>26789509
Flut+Rbd+Anon herd when

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>>26789525
Ground them both.

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>>26789509
Well, if you want something, seize it before someone else does.

Interested to see where this goes.

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>>26783688

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>>26789509
Inb4 it's all an elaborate plan by Rainbow that backfires.

>>26789540
A good, healthy herd.
Or, as pegasi call them, flock.

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>>26789509
> I'm beginning to see why they changed to a free model if this is the quality I should be expecting just from trying to make an account.
What are you, a dev or something? Or is it hobby stuff?

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>>26789424
>>Rainbow obviously wants you to ask him out

>Friend who is trash at sorting out emotions, known for taking initiative, and verbally blunt won't stop talking about how great this guy is.
>Guy also happens to be supremely relatable to friend in ways other guys aren't plus an assumed history of friendship between them.
>Conclusion: Friend wants you to ask guy out.

I'm sensing some social retardation here.

Keep going.

>>26789525
>>26789533
>>26789540
>>26789546
>>26789548
I haven't actually decided where I'm going to go with this story and would like some ideas and suggestions. People seem to be liking herds at the moment so I might see if I can think of a way for that to work. But if anyone else has suggestions I'll be reading.

>>26789558
Basically just hobby right now. My plan's always been to go into indie game devving but I want some money to commission artists and musicians before I make something I'd sell. I'm not really talented artistically or musically, and just because other successful indies get away with shitty programmer art doesn't mean I'm content with that. Can't get a fucking job for the life of me at the moment though, job market a shit even for casual work and there's no IT jobs here where I live so I can leverage my degree. That's enough blogging though.

>>26789586
>I'm sensing some social retardation here.
I may have felt like making Fluttershy a bit more of a spagghettimancer than usual in this story.

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>>26789601
>I haven't actually decided where I'm going to go with this story and would like some ideas and suggestions. People seem to be liking herds at the moment so I might see if I can think of a way for that to work. But if anyone else has suggestions I'll be reading.
You're in RGRE. RGRE = herds + electrification of the whole country rule of the marely mares.
There might be problems with rbd though. How is a monosexual going to fit in a herd??

>Basically just hobby right now.... Can't get a fucking job for the life of me at the moment though, job market a shit even for casual work and there's no IT jobs here where I live so I can leverage my degree.
Stay strong sis, you will make it.

>I may have felt like making Fluttershy a bit more of a spagghettimancer than usual in this story.
A lot. But love makes you really stupid sometimes, you could spin it like that?

>>26789509
Fluttershy needs hugs badly.

These were not the feels I wanted to feel.

>>26784523

>Eventually they agree on shared custody because they realize how much this is affecting the kids.
>The judge gives Anon sole custody anyway because obviously if a stallion was willing to divorce this mare then she can't be a good parent.

>>26789850
Mares' Rights Association will protest.

>>26789868

>They blame Anon for this even though he's actually on his ex-wife's side.

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>>26789509
RAINBOW DASH!

>>26789424
kek
socially retarded fluttershy

>>26789509
aww

>>26788730
Because it rustles NATO when anon fucks a bear

>>26788857
>they then set him up with a qt fembear
>anon annoyed at first, but then experiences bear snuggles
>instantly okay with it

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>>26789509
GIVE IN TO THE RAGE FLUTTERSHY, BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

>>26789601
>I may have felt like making Fluttershy a bit more of a spagghettimancer than usual in this story.

its not really out of character for her actual in-show personality. people like to portray her as being this relationship expert, but her whole thing is that she's ridiculously shy. she'd be a good person to talk to about your relationship woes, because she'd always be there to patiently listen and empathize, but when it came to actually dealing with romance in her own life, she'd be totally unprepared.

this is sweet, btw. I like this fluttershy. please give everybody a happy ending.

>>26790117
>Be Fluttersad, because Rainbow stole your husbando.
>At the spa with Rarity.
>They have a helper colt there.
>After your treatment, he brings you an egg roll.
>He calls it the happy ending.
>It's a really good eggroll.
>Good enough to call a happy ending.
>Happy end.

>>26790117
>people like to portray her as being this relationship expert
Also, inexperienced people like to play relationship expert fwiw

Warning, the following spoiler contains non-canon ideas that may trigger some readers. Reader digression is advised.
Luna does not go on a date with Anon, instead goes out with random BG pony. Anon ends up going out with a pony from work or something. Luna falls in love and ends up marrying BG colt. Anon's date goes okay, but they agree they're not for eachother. Luna spends less and less time sitting Venus, stopping altogether before she weds BG pone.
Cadence laughs maniacly at the relationship she ruined between Anon and Luna, and how Luna now loves a 300lb stallynist.
Anon ends up cock socking Venus, for lack of a good other alicorn to wed.
Celestia is forever Auntzoned.