>"Anon, why are you masturbating to pictures of

>>25946374
I'm colorblind, I thought it was you.

>>25946374
Because you eat too few grilled cheese
Too lean

>>25946374
"Sex with you has become dry. I crave the moon."
>Celly cocks an eyebrow
>"We've never had sex, Anonymous."
>You cup her cheek with a free hand and yank your doodle with the other
"The moooooooo-oo-oo-UUGHH-n"

>>25946374
Why aren't you masturbating to pictures of my sister?

>>25946374
Because the ass was fat.

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Oil up that cunt bitch, I want the real thing.

>>25946374
"Because she's sexy."
>"... GUARDS!"
"Whoa-HEY! What hell, Celestia?!"
>"This man is clearly insane. He needs medical attention!"
"What, for finding Luna's ass hot?!"
>[Various gasping horse noises]
>"Hurry! Take him to the royal asylum!"
"... Really?"

>>25946374
I think the better question here is why the hell you just barged into my room.

I put a sock on the doorknob and everything...

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Don't talk to me, loser.

>>25946374

"Couldn't find a good picture of you."
Finish all over portrait of Luna.

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>>25946374
"Because she's the best princess. She actually gets shit done."
"Also, her tiny butt excites me so. Wanna fight about it?"
>"GUARDS!"
>There are now several spears staring Anon in the face.
"Oh, that's real big of you. Wuss out by calling your legion of cucks to do your dirty work for you."
"You know what you are, Celestia? You're a giant WUSS!"
>Anon begins the make infernal clucking noises in Sunbutt's general direction, and steam shoots out of Celly's ears.
>"You know what? Cancel the guards, I'll deal with you myself."
>The spears back off as she shoots a glowing solar magic laser of death straight at Anon.
>Anon then promptly jumps over it to right beside Celestia.
>Then he pushes her onto her side almost effortlessly.
>Anon point and laughs endlessly at another of Celestia's pathetic defeats.
>Even some of the guards are chuckling.
>Sunbutt just pouts on the floor.

>>25946374
>"Well you can't expect me to spank one out over a photo of you. I have standards, Celly."
>Continue jerking

>>25946374
>Since she invaded your personal space for this, you keep up what you're doing, and keep your focus on the picture.
"You tell me. I got this painting from your room. Her pose, and the details on... certain areas, seems a little suspect."
>With an obviously forced neutral expression, Celestia never took her eyes off the painting.
>"Would you believe she had commissioned it, herself, for a potential suitor?"
"Considering how she snaps at anyone showing interest? Doubtful."
>"Well... that's what I was told, and why should I explain myself to you? You DID steal from me."
>At her pause, you noticed her biting her lip, out the corner of your eye.
"Stole porn, something they don't even make in all of Equestria, of your sist-"
>You're interrupted by a faint, wet sound from behind Celestia, as you finally look to see one of her hooves missing, and an embarrassed look on her face.
>She's still focused on the painting.
>"Ugh, fine. Look, it's been a long day, and I need to get my mind off it before I turn to a nightmare, myself. Can we just finish up, and agree never to speak of this, again?"
>After this, your brain shuts down, and muttering an acknowledgement is all you can muster.
>Despite your agreement, the two of you develop a nightly pattern: You steal the picture, Celey catches you, you both pleasure yourselves to it, and she takes it back.
>A friendship oddly blooms from these meetings.
>A friendship centered around masturbating to a picture of Celestia's sister.
>Magic hoers land is strange, and so are you, Anon.