>"You're really bad at sex. You should consider

y-you too

>>25790443
Joke's on you.
Masturbation isn't sex ;_;

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>>25790443

"You're really bad at small talk. You should consider never talking again."

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>>25790443
I was bad on purpose. You just prank'd bitch.

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>>25790443
It was an accident, i swear!
>tfw just sitting on the toilet,
>things happen
>Ever phobic about public restrooms from that day forward due to people criticizing your surprise-sex skills

>>25790499
>got
I fucked up. I have brought shame to myself.

I want to have sex with Octavia
Reply to this post if you agree with me

>>25790443
Fuck you.

>>25790514
I agree that you want to have sex with Octavia.

>>25790443

Then why is this our second time?

>>25790443
I like it when you talk dirty.

>>25790443
How the fuck am I supposed to improve then?

>>25790443
this is the reason why you have to pay to someone even touch your vag
thanks for the $

>>25790443
After last night, that was already the plan.

>>25792074
*$200
damn, i fuck it

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Yet here you are every Wednesday

>>25790443
>>25790491
Well, of course it's going to be disappointing to you.
I've seen the 16 inch black dildo attached to the reciprocating saw you keep 'hidden' in your closet.
I'm never going to match up to THAT.
By the way, you should wash your toy once in a while.
It's starting to stink up your bedroom.

>>25790443
>"W-what'd he mean by that?" She said through sobs locked in her bedroom

>>25790443
It was rape, you aren't supposed to enjoy it.

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>>25792567
If she still has sass at the end of >rape, clearly it wasn't good.

>>25790514
I agree that you want to have sex with Octavia.

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>>25792567
>"That was rape? All you did was grope at my breasts through my shirt and grind your little chode against the front of my panties. The only thing I felt it was is a mild inconvenience. Both your penis and your efforts to appear threatening were so weak and flaccid that I'm not even going to report this to the authorities. But I am going to be sending you a bill from my dry cleaners. When you finished a few piddly little droplets of semen dripped out of your Vienna sausage and stained my favorite skirt."

>>25790514
I disagree

>>25790443

"You're really bad at having a personality beyond 'brutally honest bitch'. You should consider never talking again."

>>25790443
In my defense, your mom didn't pay me very much.

>>25790514
I have reasonable doubt that you want to have sex with Octavia. Because you're a faggot.

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>>25790499
>Anon is terrible at sex
>hoe is bitching him out
>he stands up and reveals his cock is actually huge
>"ITS JUST A PRANK BRO THERES A CAMERA AND EVERYTHING"
>stallions walk out with cameras
>they all go OOOOOOOOOOOH like in that stupid show about the blue bird and raccoon that i actually liked even though it was furshit
>OOOOH continues as they laugh so hard they get erect
>OOOOOOOOOH intensifies while they start sucking each other off
>all anyone can hear during the ensuing gay orgy is OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
>that hoe cums from second-hand pleasure without touching herself
>gets a billion upboats on reddit, tumblr, and ebaumsworld
>OP finally did something useful with his literal faggotry

And that's how F-Zero finally got a new game.

>>25790514
>implying you want to have sex with Octavia

Fuck off you lying faggot. I'm gonna get doubles and you're checking them right now.
Reply to this post if you agree with me

>>25796909
While getting sucked off your bro proceeds to OOOOOOOOOH with your dick in his mouth this is what made you finish contrary to him believing his good at it

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>>25796909

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>>25790443
how can you judge me when you're not even real

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>>25796909

>>25790443
>she says that after you finish with the test dummy
"Well this is sex ed class and I don't see you doin' it with anyone."
>you start sanitizing the test dummy
"Men are gross, penises are gross. I wouldn't waste me time with them. I'm only here because the teacher said we needed a partner to supervise. All the boys in class are disgusting."
>you raise an eyebrow
"Then why not try it with me?"
>she jumps back
"W-why would I?! she yells while leaning back on a table, "I said you're gross!"
>you start to get closer to her
"Well then why did you choose me as your partner?"
>you trap her between yourself and the table
"You know, they say experience is better than what you read in a book."
>she furrows her brow
"I-I'm notninterested!"
>you put you hands on her face
"If that's the case, why aren't you running away?"
>your face gets closer as her face gets red

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>>25793095

>>25796972
Then Anon fucks the feminazism out of her which is just another tactic to cover up one's own inferiority complexes

>>25790443
Say what you want
I still had sex with you
And you can't unhave sex with me
So there, nyah

>>25790443
>throwing a bockwurst down a hall way

>>25790443
Well that's fine, but I have aids so it's not like I would fuck you twice.

>>25790443
"Really? With all those cute noises you made last night?
>Grabs ass
>"Mmm~"

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>>25797017
How scandalous

>>25790443
Jokes on you I'm already ahead of your plan.

;_;