>You are Assassanon >Discord has brought you from earth

>>25685782
Of course not. Be rich on Earth and have to kill an great pony, or get to stay in Equestria forever? Is that even a real question?

>>25685782
>You are Assassanon
How come I've got two asses?

id do it for free

>>25685887
This

>kill a lovely Stoneypony who dindu nuttin
>dont stay in equestria
Or...
>don't kill Stonerponer
>stay in the only place i can be truly happy

Jeez OP real tough decision.

>>25685990
I bet you are a fucking druggie too.

>>25686037
That's not fair, Anon. I'm stoned right now and I'd still shoot that bitch.
Druggie does not equal hippie.

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>>25685782
>Tell Discord to fuck off for a sec
>Snitch on his ass to Granny Celesto
>Discord turned into a Greek statue, complete with his weird dragon cloaca boipussy
>Get hailed a hero
>Mfw living in Equestria
And I did it all for free

>>25685811
/thread

>>25686037
>implying I'm a stoner
I don't even drink man.

>>25685990
I believe the OP meant the payment is a choice between earth and fortune, or stay in equestria. Staying in equestria is not an option without pulling the trigger.

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>>25686413
Underage and b&

>>25685990
>the only place i can be truly happy
Another fucking sad beta found on /mlp/

>>25686625
>le "where do u tink we r" maymay

>>25685798
>>25685990
Not the brightest stars in the sky are you?

>>25685782
Pull the trigger, ask instead for a fair amount of bits, stay in Equestria.

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>>25686619
Fuck you.
I am 29 and don't drink, smoke or do drugs.
Just because there is people out there that are better than you in that aspect doesn't mean they are all 10 year olds.

>>25686619
>destroying your liver like that
Just end it now.

I just don't enjoy drinking.

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Query: Call an assassin, meatbag?

[in truthfulness I'd just try to earn an honest living]

>>25685782
No. Shoot the chaos faggot than get laid by tree, and start a weed farm with her. Retire happy.

>>25685782
Can I kill her with cuddles?

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>>25685782
>You are Assassnanon
>Discord has brought you from earth and hired you to take out TreeHugger
>He's agreed to pay you a fortune in any earth currency
>He never specified as to how you should take out TreeHugger or which part
>Letting yourself come up with a plan
>You aren't an improviser, however
>But you Assassanon, The Assassin of Ass
>Leaving you with one plan that has never failed you before
>To assassinate that fat ass
>She turns her luscious ass away from you
>Deciding that now is not the time to strike
>You lower your trusty gun that has been by your side ever since you donned the tittle Assassanon, Assinator
>Some /K/iddies call it a nugget, but your Assitron is much more well-modified
>You scurry back into the shadows hoping for an ass to present its fine self once again
>Such opportunity did present itself to much of your dong's dismay as nightfall shrouds you
>You pack up your gear and head home
>You arrive back home
"Maybe tomorrow will be the day I tap that." You say to yourself
>You crawl into your bed, close your eyes, and drift off to sleep

>>25688479
MOAR THIS WILL BE GOOD! bump

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>>25686037
>2015
>being Republican

>>25685782
>You hesitate.
"Hey... Discord?"
>"Something wrong? Just pull the trigger!"

"I have a proposition for you... If I can manage to 360 noscope treehugger, you let me stay here AND give me a fortune in bits. Double or nothing."
>"Well, I don't see much benefit on my part... What if you miss?"

"I don't fucking miss, Dickcord. GET THE AIRHORNS READY!"

>You leap from the bushes, and sprint to the pony.
>You jump again, and thrust your body into a mach-10 spin.
>Fuck 360, You're gonna do a 720!
>Your sights line up just as she turns to see you.
>Using your Dew-fueled sugar high reaction timing, you pull the trigger.

>She ragdolls as the blood shoots out the side of her head.
>Fluttershy screams
>Sirens blare.
>"OOOOOOOOOOH! NICE SHOT ANON DAYUM!"
>She gives you a high-hoof while you teabag Treehugger's corpse.

>Live the rest of your life in Equestria as a wealthy Baron.
>FaZe clan felt the wave of badassery through time and space, and sent you an offer to join them.
>Life is good.

>>25685782
>Or you can stay in equestria and earn an honest living
You don't actually think Discord would let us get away with that, do you?

>>25688896
>2015
>being a member of any political group
FTFY

>>25688902
GG NO RE

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>>25688902
MLG Anon

>>25685990
this
h
i
s

>>25688902
>joke's on anon though, the deal was to 360, not 720, so he is sent back without the money

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>>25685782

>>25685782
>pull trigger
>kill stoner pony
>tell Discord to give you your payment
>he hands you a large stack of monopoly money

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I could totally, it's my job. I'm a hitmare. I'm also finding that ironical that I meet Mr. Discord on a world that isn't mine, but I wonder exactly why he wants me to assassinate such a pointless target.

>Discord's facial expression intrigues me
>Why couldn't he get rid of that pony so easily
"is there anything I don't know about the target that could put me or someone else at risk?"
>Discord:"I know for certain you usually observe and analyze your targets. You'll find out, I suppose. Also, one more thing..."
>He's chewing a lighter and lits it up with a cigar
>Discord:"I want you to look over Fluttershy. Nothing must happen to her. I want her to be safe, that's also why I'm not hiring anyone else. You understand, right?"
"Absolutely."
>Discord:"There might be more ponies to eliminate, it will just be your task. Your budget is unlimited of course, for you and eventually your team"
"I work alone. I always work alone."