Reversed Gender roles Equestria, mares rolling to seduce edition

I'd be a big mare's little spoon.

So uh, butts
Some of a stallion's muscles are kept in the hindquarters. Because of this, mares tend to check out stallion butts. Stallions find this offensive and objectifying. so they get offended by it. Enter Anon, who is flattered by it.
Discuss.

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So... would it be unacceptable for me to carry my mare around?

>>25684852
No. There are probably plenty of mares who love the idea of big, dominant stallions carrying them. Probably beta mares who wouldn't normally have much of a chance. ;_;

>>25684887
Well, if we're flipping gender roles here then that's not necessarily true. Lots of powerful people are sexual submissives. The necessity to be in control all the time makes the release of sexual submission that much more enjoyable. So it's entirely possible that particularly powerful mares would find anon attractive, as he'd provide the opportunity to not be in control for once.

Now, whether or not there would be a social stigma attatched to that type of desire and induldgence would be a matter of debate.

>>25684822

Might work well in a story about Anon and his interactions with his stallion friends.

I don't think it would work too well on its own, mind you.

>>25669340

tiny baby update

>You are Anon.
>You've been wide awake during your trip to the Crystal Empire, despite the time.
>You've heard the rumours flying around Ponyville; that Princess Luna uses her powers of the night to sooth colt's and fillies' dreams and chase nightmares away.
>And once word gets out that you've escaped Ponyville, Celestia's star student is bound to contact Luna and ruin your plans.
>Or, with your luck, tonight will be the night that Luna decides to visit your dreams on a whim.
>You sigh and continue to pace the halls of your carriage.
>Twilight probably won't be awake for another few hours, but you're working on the assumption that she decided to wake up 5 hours early and already knows that you're gone.
>You're basically operating on the assumption that she knows EVERYTHING about your plans and is actively working against you right now.
>Prepare for the worst, hope for th-BEEEP
"AAAHH!"
>thud
>"We are now approaching the Crystal Empire. The time is 4:37 AM. Thank you for riding with us."
>You stand up and gingerly make your way towards the door, limping and cradling your right knee.
>Fucking train conductor.
>Fucking solid-wood frame.
>Fucking THAT WAS YOUR BAD KNEE

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>>25684933
>lovingly dominating Celestia

>>25685020
>You step outside and take in the view.
>The sky is dark, the street lamps haven't been lit, and the air smells faintly of rain.
>Also Princess Cadence is waiting for you.
>"Hello, Anonymous!"
>Despite the early hour, Cadence doesn't look even a tiny bit drowsy.
"Hello, Princess."
>You give her a short bow out of respect.
"Thank you SO MUCH for granting me asylum in the Crystal Empire."
>Cadence begins to walk towards the castle, and you follow a few paces behind her.
>"Anonymous, these past few months ruling the Crystal Empire have opened my eyes."
>The roads are empty, luckily. But would it even matter, since you're in a different kingdom?
>"I've seen how my ponies act, and I've seen how Celestia and Luna's ponies behave."
>"And obviously, I've seen how Shining reacts when it's just the two of us."
>She glances at you with a warm smile and a twinkle in her eye.
>"Between you and me, most of the population thinks Shiny is gay."
>You bark out a laugh and you can feel your anxiety melting away.

end tiny babby update

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>>25684380
>What you /could/ do, though, is since mares have significant control of their vags, is assigning prowess to a mare based off of how quickly she can get a stallion to cum. That would basically make having sex with anon an emasculating, amaresuclating?, exercise as no pone could get him off quickly.
Bringing back this idea from the end of the last thread. It has some real potential, I think.

>>25684380
>but rather comparative biology
hence
>the mechanics of it don't work well
we're def on the same page. i was thinking along the same lines. i just don't know that it is an idea you can really base much of a story off of. maybe a little piece of worldbuilding, but otherwise meh.
what it comes down to for me is... the challenge of what characteristics to reverse and which not is, well, very challenging, but interesting.

Previously: http://pastebin.com/mCv2av4M

> Admittedly, you really enjoy this – the whole cooking for others thing.
> Certainly more satisfying than finding new and exciting ways to do ramen or canned soup.
> Prepared for… well, you…
> With a sigh, you glance over. Amethyst seems quite happy with your work. Turning back, you grin - guess all that time watching cooking programs paid off.
> You are Anonymous, and you need a second hobby. Seriously.
> Grabbing the handle and giving a quick pull, you open your magically-cooled refrigerator. But for right now, what you need is maple syrup.
> With a glass bottle of the sweet amber liquid in hand, you casually shut the door behind you and take a seat across from Amethyst.
> Looking over, you notice that she’s a few bites in already.
> You know, come to think of it, it’s been at least a month or so since she moved in, and it still impresses you – she doesn’t eat like a princess, but at the very least she isn’t a slob.
> Yeah, you suppose it could be worse.
> And so, you turn your thoughts back to breakfast, pouring a measure of the syrup across your toast.
> Looking up, Amethyst seems to have taken an interest in what you’ve done to your French toast. Her horn lights up, wrapping the syrup bottle in a raspberry-colored aura, clearly intent on following suit.
> The two of you eat in a companionable silence, seeing as the both of you tend to need time and coffee before considering yourselves ‘awake’ in any sense of the word.

--
I'll be honest, I'm still not entirely happy with this scene. Probably because I'm not happy with the following scene. And I've rewritten the following one like five fucking times now.

I can probably make it work, but I'm gonna have to wait a bit on that. Mostly since its finals week.

>>25685463
I... I forget what your story was about.

>>25685477

Some cheesy romance featuring Amethyst Star as a roommate to Anon.

To be fair, I'm not surprised.

>>25685021
> pear-shaped celestial
unf

>>25685477
That's why I've got the next chapter for my long-belated story starting off with a summary of the plot, and a link to my pastebin at the beginning of it.
A different thread's story, but it has it's niche there, I think.

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>>25685959
Mmm
thats right

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HOT

DOE

CUNT

>>25685040
>"Between you and me, most of the population thinks Shiny is gay."
Plot twist: Shining IS gay, and the whole 'reversed gender roles' thing is just an elaborate ploy for him to tap dat hot monkey ass.

>>25688140
more like get dat hot monkey dick

>>25688124
/k/ pls go

>>25688124
Only if Anon's use of phrases such as "skinning them like a deer." gets them hot and bothered.

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>>25688181
>>25688224
errytiem

>>25688267
Who would do such a thing?

Just walk into the woods and... and violate does?

>>25688281
/k/ apparently.

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>>25688281
/k/

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>>25688267
Gettin that doe action.

>>25684528
bump

>>25688224
>using phrases such as "skinning them like a deer." gets them hot and bothered

Like a fearboner, but on a doe?

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>>25688878
Dem prey instincts, man.

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>>25688903
Roseluck seems prone to this, according to fimfiction.

>>25688972
God I miss that writer. I go back every now and then to reread that Rose story.

>>25688995
Which one are you thinking of?
The one I read was "Wild Rose".
There's also "The scent of prey" which I haven't read yet.

>>25685040
Keep going.
>>25685463
YOU'RE BACK!
>>25684852
Yes, it is her job to carry you.
The pony wears the saddle.

>>25689037
Wild Rose. But I need to find that other one now.

>>25689191

Would've preferred to have been back with more, but I was just trying to push an update before finals week.

>>25689191
>saddle
kinky

>>25685040
dis is gud

moar

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bump

>>25690304
I'd give her a great and powerful bumping, ifyaknowwhatimean.

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>>25689648

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>>25685040
Poor Cadence. She's getting NO dick at all.

>>25685040
>You are Anon, and you've been enjoying your new home for nearly a month, now.
>Thing is, you're supposed to avoid Shining Armor.
>Or, as he apparently insists on being called, Prince Mi Amore Shining.
>Cunt.
>Best part is, the palace is big enough that you don't really even have to TRY to avoid him.
>Your only advice from Cadence was "Don't enter the hall where my and Shining's bedchambers are, and also avoid the gym between 1 PM and 4 PM."
>Cadence has been a total bro to you.
>She hasn't tried coddling you, or try and talk you out of "dangerous" activities, and you've yet to see that superior "I know better than you do" smirk that most mares in Ponyville wear around you.
>Apparently males and females treated each other very differently about a thousand years ago, which was right around the time of the Crystal Empire fiasco.
>Which means that the men are men, and the women are somewhat less manly men.
>Shit's pretty cash.

>As it is, you're having a late-night drink with your old best friend, Harvest Solstice.
>He and a group of his friends met up with you at The Green Horsefucker for a reunion drink.
>You couldn't be happier.
>The men.
>THE FUCKING MEN
>You have NO idea how good it is to be around men who aren't flamboyantly gay while still aching for the V.
>On top of that, the women don't try to awkwardly hit on you and buy you drinks.
>Your wallet is taking a bit of a hit, which makes you sad.
>But hey, take the good with the bad, you guess.

>>25690587
>Harvest Solstice is talking animatedly with a dark-red mare when you walk in.
>"An-and then, no joke, this lil' purple unicorn BURSTS IN through the door an' starts doting on Anonymous like a mother hen. Picks him up in her magic and is all flippin' him around, looking for injuries or some shit."
>The mare roars in laughter and downs the rest of her drink. Harvest notices you and waves you over, cheering.
>"Speak of the devil and he shall appear! Anonymous, c'mere! Meet my friends!"
>The dark-red mare's name is Lightning Bouquet.
>The bright-blue stallion's called "Apricot Honeycomb".
>And the sickly-green stallion's named "Windy Comet".
>The five of you shoot the shit for a few hours, mostly making fun of the ponies in Ponyville, and catching up on how the times have changed in the last however-many centuries.
>You stumble home rather drunk, and decide that it would be a good idea to get a snack.
>You're hungry for pizza (as you usually are when you drink), but no such thing exists in ponyland.
>So, you settle for the next best thing: A BLT minus the B.
>The vegetables are so FRESH compared to what you had back on Earth, which means your sandwich doesn't suffer from the lack of pigflesh.
>You're about half-way done your sandwich when you hear clopping coming from the kitchen door.
>Is hope to god that's Cadence.
>"Oh.... I know I should watch my figure, but these double-chocolate brownies are just SINFUL."
>Well, fuck.
>Shining Armor is about ten feet away from you, poking though some cupboards and pony-fridges.
>"Oh misses brooowwniieeee, where aaaaarrreeee yoooouu?"
>You dislike him already; he sounds like an asshole.
>Before you can enact any escape plans of yours, brewed in your picked brain, Shining Armor spins on his heel (hoof?) and immediately spots you.
>"Oh! .....Hello."
>Well, you had a good run.

>>25690587
whoops quoted myself there at the top

>>25690615
Oh, wait, this is the same continuity from the earlier stories where Twilight is doting on Anon?

I thought it was some new continuity where Twilight was straight up "Misery" and planned on cutting Anon's legs off to keep him inside or something.

>>25690682
Naw, son, it's absolutely from that one story you're talking about. That one-shot's in my pastebin, called "The Green Horsefucker".

>>25690615
Anon/Cadence when? :)

>>25690943
That's what I'm sensing.

>>25690615
Yeah. Yeah you write that green, AA. You write the shit out of it.

>>25690907
Huh?
So the fact that this story directly refers to the characters, settings, and events from that story is ... just a joke or something?
Are you messing with me?

>>25690943
Anon accidentally earns the Empire more browny and rep points internationally by being a total bro/normal male.

Like beating the Gryffin's in a drinking contest, and threatening to just kick the ever-loving evil shit out of Chrysalis' (which impresses her, much to Cadence's disgust'), etcetera.

Oh, and we need a drunk-Luna or Celestia scene.

>>25690998
Poor wording on my part. Yes, it's continuation of the one-shot in my pastebin.

>>25690957
Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I'll caress the hard, plastic nubs on my keyboard and you had better believe that I'll write that green. Write it so good.

>>25690943
*Looks through notes*
"anon accidentally destroys a marriage"
FUCK

>>25691622
It never said which marriage.

>>25691622
Shhhh. No tears now. Only horsepussy.

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>>25691934
>Only horsepussy

>>25691622
>*Looks through notes*

Does it say "teat-twisting" anywhere?

>>25692063
it-fucking-better say teat twisting

>>25691663
True. There's still time for Anon to tear the Cakes apart.

>>25692934
It's the reason I wake up in the morning.

>>25692063
It doesn't, but that's only because unless it's stated otherwise, teat-twisting occurs.

>>25692095
>tear the cakes apart
i do hope you mean thier anuses
what was the deleted post?

>>25692095
I was gonna say Twilight's parents, but that works too.

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>>25692095
>It doesn't, but that's only because unless it's stated otherwise, teat-twisting occurs.

Good

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>>25692000
Dem digits don't lie.

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>>25689575

>>25676059
This.

>>25692137
I have that image saved on my harddrive, twice. Smiles were had, let me tell you.

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>>25691085
>threatening to just kick the ever-loving evil shit out of Chrysalis' (which impresses her, much to Cadence's disgust'
They'll learn to get along.

>>25692131
Hey hey, papa-'nonny didn' raise no queer-fag, 'hear? The only way he's is going to tear apart Mr. Cake's anus is when Anon shoves his foot up his ass.

The deleted post was a misspell because I'm fucking noob. It was supposed to be >>25692934
If I fuck that up again, I'm going to kill myself.

>>25692745
welp, it was nice writing for you.
tell the other writefags that I love them, and I'm sorry.

>>25692766
F

L-love you too ApA... Full homo

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>>25692744
>Stain-glassed painting of Gordon.
>mfw

>>25690615
>which means your sandwich doesn't suffer from the lack of pigflesh.
thats fucking heresy and you know it

>>25692827
>Full homo
Like it's supposed to be.

Oh, I'ts good to see sisters embracing each other... Don't forget to take some dick once in a while tho

>>25692900
>When your horsebando leaves you for a bigger herd

>>25692745
Wait, what?
Post >>25692934 was made, and I was the anon who made it.

I guess I'm not kill any more?

>>25693270
Wut?

>>25691622
Anal! Gimme a prompt to write upon when i get off from work you smelly piece of plastic!

>>25693270
Stop fucking with my head. Are you gonna write it though?

Sugar-momma Celestia tries to woo an unimpressed Anonymous.

Anon would rather hang with returned Bacon Pony, as her experiences in Canterlot High, EQG, have changed her gender-role opinions.

>>25695870
This.

>>25695870
>unimpressed by sugar-momma Celestia
What is this I don't even

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>>25695870
WOT

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>Anon discovers how exploited stallions are in Equestria's porn industry
>Forms a union to promote better working conditions
>No more forced insertions, no more contractually obligated gay scenes
>Due to his activism, stallions receive the same pay and benefits as their female counterparts
>Masculists call him a gender traitor and get his union shut down
>Male actors go back to being expoited
>Anon overdoses on sugar
And the best part is, it's all true.

>>25695870
I like the Sugar-momma Celestia part. Not so much the hanging with Sunshit part.

>>25695967
Male actors earn about $150 for a straight porn scene, were women earn $1000, on average.

Gay porn pays about $500. Lesbian porn for some reason only pays $800.

I'm not sure how being paid more is exploited?
The only porn actresses that's exploited are the ones who do deal with shady businesses, which is their own fault.

>>25695967
See: >>25696218

Your facts about the porn industry are a bit skewed, so the reversal is as well.

>>25692851
It was a part of the original Souce engine demo, before HL2 was released.

>>25690615
Is Shining going to be some flamboyant gay stereotype that hates Anon for some stupid or pathetic reason so he feels justified when he fucks his wife ?

>>25696218
>women earn $1000, on average.
maybe things have changed, but years ago that wasn't anywhere near true. tho average!=typical, so maybe the curve is just very skewed.

>>25693668
>fucks up post number twice
>post does not exist yet
>an hour later, post DOES exist
>by pure coincidence it's one that I made after I fucked up the numbers
When I write it down, it sounds pretty retarded to bring attention to it.

>>25694151
UH
It's considered a rite of passage to seduce a stallion. The CMC take it upon themselves to seduce Equestria's most exotic stallion: Anon. Maybe their siblings/mentors give them tips.

>>25694750
You know what? Best ignore I posted anything from >>25692766 onward. Shit's gotten out of control.

>>25696681
The number are given by Mark Spiegler, a porn talent agent. Some make more, some make less, but $1000 is the norm for a vanilla male on female scene. Anal usually adds $200

>>25697177
My numbers come from the 80's-90's, so maybe it's different now. I just remember a lot of women expecting oral and getting anal. The screams in Miami Beach Bar 2 are entirely real.

>>25692134
Anon's going to fuck everyone's parents.
>>25692131
Of course!
>>25691663
It's Anon's marriage he never knew he was in.
FOREIGN CUSTOMS ERRYWHERE!
>>25691085
Chryssy just wants a good father figure for her kids.
What mother wouldn't want their vulnerable sons to learn how to defend themselves?
>>25692745
>Not wanting to fuck Mr. Cake
Are you gay or something?
>>25695870
>Not fucking both of them while Luna watches eating popcorn
>>25696496
Shining just always makes things weird.

>>25697527
Source?

>>25697763
Experience as a cameraman and sometimes actor.

>>25697856
Jeez grandpa, get off the internet, someone needs to use the phone.

>>25697101
>"Sweetie Bell! What in Equestria are you doing?!"
>Uhoh
>With a twist you look back at your older sister Rarity as she gets that huffy look to her face.
>You know it's worse if you try to hide your misdeed so you put on your best smile underneath all the lipstick and mascara.
>You think you used enough, Rarity uses about the same.
"I'm trying to woo a stallion Rarity! To show how grown up I am, I already got my cutiemark. It's only fair that I show everypony else that I'm big enough."
>Rarity had been stomping her way towards you during your explanation, yet when you finished her eyes softened just a touch.
>"Oh Sweetie Bell, what ever am I going to do with you..."
"Huh?"
>Rarity magics up a handkerchief dabbing away at some of your hard work.
"Hey stop that it took me forever to get this on!"
>"And you did it wrong."
>That hurts sis, this is why your worse sis.
>"So let me teach you."
>Nevermind you are now best sis!
>Humming a few bars to herself Rarity starts to do a small song number.
>"When you've got your eye on a stallion~"
>Make up products levitate in her magic as she spins you round on her stool.
>"There are certain steps you have to take~"
>Mascara on tiny filaments are applied to your freshly washed face.
>"For a mare has to be bold, courageous, and willing to satisfy her colt!~"
>Rarity puckers your lips as a small glossy lipstick is applied.
>"After all you have to show you're the best and show that you're up to the test!~"
>One eye then the other is lightly dusted with eye shadow in a light lilac.
>"Don't you worry little sister, with my advice you sure to show up the rest!~"
>Left in a whirl you look to see yourself in the mirror and let out a whistle.
>The make up looks as if done by a professional and makes you look so mature!
>"You look positively adoring Darling."
>Rarity leans over your shoulder to give you a light peck on the cheek.
>"Now you ready to show your little colt friend that you're the best?"
>You simply answer with a hug

>>25698002
>"Now off you go, make sure to let the other girls go first so you can truly dazzle your little friend."
"Wait how'd you know?"
>Rolling her eyes Rarity simply answers, "Darling you and those two girls have gotten into everything together, what makes you think that you wouldn't want to herd with the same colt?"
"Oh...Okay then."
>Stopping at the door you turn and correct your sister.
"Oh and it's Anon we're trying to woo, not a colt! Bye Sis!"
>Rarity nods as she folds away her make up, "Quite nice Dar- what?!"
>You've already headed out the door when she yelled, you can't wait to meet up with the others!

>"Say what now Sugarcube?"
"Teach me how ya'll seduced yer first colt!"
>Seeing Applejack raise her eyebrow in doubt you quickly explain.
"Since we've gotten our cutiemarks me and the girls were ready to show we're all grown up. I help out plently on the farm so I'm responsible. I help Big Mac with his numbers on the farm's books, so I'm good with money. So how do I seduce my first colt?"
>Applejack gets a secretive little grin on her face then before she waves you over.
>Eager you lean in ready to learn the arcane secrets of seduction.
>"Be yerself silly filly."
"Wha-?!"
>"It's simple Sugarcube, you just darn and gone listed off just a few reasons why you're a good mare! Any stallion with a good brain will recognize you're the best pick no matter what other ponies might try to offer."
"Is it really that easy?"
>Adjusting her hat Applejack gives a nod before a blush covers her freckles, "Well it also helped that I had a bit of cider in me too..."
"Oh so I need to drink a bunch of cider then?"
>"What? No, no! That was for my benefit, not yers, what I did was a bit foalish on my part and was inappropiate for me to do to a colt. You just go up to 'em and be honest like I shoulda down when I did mine."
"Are you SURE that'll work?"
>Nodding her head your sis winks at you, "Sure as sugar, sugarcube, now ya'll git, take the day off to woo your stallion."

>>25698002
>>25698178
This is getting good

>>25698178
"I guess it could work... Thanks sis!"
>Applejack leans down and nuzzles you, "Heh, I remember my first time, fuzzily, but trust me you're gonna wanna be clear headed thats for sure."
"Alright! Bye!"
>Waving you sister off you soon pass by Rarity who looked panicked for some reason.
>Oh well probably another friendship problem..."

>Biting into your slice of pizza you look up to your idol.
"Say Rainbow Dash?"
>"What's up Squirt?"
>You watch as she cracks open a can of sasprilla and take a deep pull
"What was your first time seducing a stallion like?"
>Carbonated fluids fly through the air painting a faint shimmery rainbow before the real Rainbow looks at you in shock.
>"Bwhu, uh, y-yeah first time with a stallion huh? Uh..."
>Flicking her hoof clean of the fluids Rainbow Dash seems rather nervous for some reason...
>"Why'd you wanna know anyway?"
"Cuz I heard you gotta seduce one to prove your a mare now and if you don't your just a neet that lives in her parent's house living off nothing but cider and hay burgers."
>For some reason Rainbow Dash flinched with each item you ticked off like an arrow flew through her body.
"Are you okay?"
>"Fine! Totally fine, I'm awesome in fact. Tell ya what Squirt let me clue you in on a little secret."
>A secret this you gotta know!
>Leaning in with stars in your eyes you listen close as Rainbow tells you the secret.
"No way! You seduced TWO stallions? And a griffon!? How?!"
>"Heh, trade secret kid, but I want you to try something awesome to impress 'em. If you do that you're bound to get a colt to notice, you still got your scooter right?"
>Nodding you point over to the bench where you parked it.
"Never leave home without it!"
>"Well why don't you try some sick tricks with it, like a triple back flip?"
"Pssh that's foal stuff, I'll break out my best move to show off!"
>A blue hoof rubs your mane in a mess you don't fix it cuz that's just how you roll.
"That's the spirit squirt now go show 'em whose awesome!"

>>25698233
You want more? I always fuck up when I try to write Anon for some reason...

>>25698446
this is cute

Interesting new green.

On an unrelated note, there needs to be more writefags. I legitimately can't write worth a damn, but I'm sure plenty of you have interesting ideas!

>>25698456
yes, and every anon is different. So long as you keep the personality consistent, you'll do it fine. He can be a NEET, wageslave, hobbyist painter, or legitimate schitzo, so long as he doesn't switch between these things you'll do fine. I think. What do I look like, a fucking doctor?

The important part is write more. It's the only way to get better, and this is pretty good already.

>>25684528
bump

>>25698446
more

>>25698446
>Ah nothing like a nice ice cream cone on a brisk morning like today.
>Licking the frozen treat some more you hear a muffled unf in the background.
>Looking around you fail to see anything or anyone that would cause the sound.
>Shrugging you go back to ea-
>"HI ANON!"
"Christ on a stick!"
>Ducking low you nearly loose your head anyway as Scootaloo passes over with a sick jump of her scooter.
"Scootaloo, what's the big idea you trying to kill me or something?"
>Buzzing back into place after making new skid marks on the pavement Scootaloo shakes her head.
>"Psh, heck no I was just showing you how amazing I can be when it comes to finesse and control~"
>Wut.
>The way the little filly lowers her eyes at you while saying that...
>No way she's just a kid, even if she does have her butt tattoo.
"Whatever, just be more ca- oh hell buckets."
>"What's wrong?"
"You knocked my ice cream cone over you little flying menace!"
>The filly lowers her ears at that and looks to your fallen treat.
>"O-oh, um I can fix that."
>"Not a problem Scootaloo!"
>Turning you see Applebloom holding up an ice cream cone to you.
>"Here ya go Anon to replace the one ya lost."
"Thanks? I could have just gotten it myself."
>The apple filly puffs up her chest looking all proud, "It's no problem Anon, I've got bits to spare from my chores."
"Aw, you didn't have to Applebloom, here you have it, it's your money that bought it, I have my own."
>"No, it's f- how about we share it?"
>Seeing the normally yellow filly turn red as her name sake was interesting.
"Uh, how?"
>"W-w-well I-I could l-lick one s-side and you do th-the other?"
>Scootaloo jumps in then grinning at you, "Hey, uh Anon if you could excuse us I need a chat with my sis here."
"I thought Rainbow was your s-"
>With the speed of chickens the orange filly is gone leaving behind a pink bow.
>Grabbing the hair ornament you pocket it with a shrug, she'll probably want it back sooner or later.

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>>25697101
>>fucks up post number twice
>>post does not exist yet
>>an hour later, post DOES exist
>>by pure coincidence it's one that I made after I fucked up the numbers
>When I write it down, it sounds pretty retarded to bring attention to it.
What the heck were you doing / trying to do, and why were you doing it?

It sounds like you were trying to write a link to a post, then gamble that one of your future posts would just so happen to fall on that exact number.

>>25699010
>"Oh Anon~"
>That sounded like Sweetie Bell.
>The thing trotting to you with a swagger in her step does not look like Sweetie Bell.
>At all.
>Granted there's still the same filly as before, but there's so much make up on her, it's cute, but...euch...
>Batting her eyes at you Sweetie Bell levitates up a trio of flowers to you.
>"I picked these just for you Anon! Do you like them?"
"Uh, yeah their rather pretty."
>Seeing the filly giggle with glee brings a slight smile to your face.
>The flowers float up to you and you grab hold of the orange, yellow, and white flowers.
>"Do you think that I could maybe get a little reward for these fine flowers?"
"Uh, sure? Like what?"
>Fur flushed bright pink you'd mistake her for Cadence you hear her mumble.
"Sorry what? Hang on..."
>Kneeling down you get closer to the filly as she tries to talk.
>Looking over the filly you sigh before drawing her close.
"Ah jeez Sweetie Bell, you've got all this ugly stuff on you."
>"U-ugly?!"
"Mhmm, hold still..."
>With a rag you keep in your pocket you wipe away the make up showing the cute filly from before underneath it all whose teary eyes confuse you.
"There, now you're pretty again."
>The formarly teary eyes dry in a snap at that and a squeaky "Really?!" comes from the filly.
"Mhmm, not what in the world did you want anyway?"
>"C-Could I g-get a k-kiss f-from M'lord?"
"...Only if you never say that word again."
>"Deal!"
>The filly closes her eyes and puckers her lips.
>You hear the sound of thundering hooves, but ignore it as you lean down...
>And give the filly a kiss on the cheek.
>Sweetie Bell opens her eyes in shock just in time for two other little fillies to tackle her out of your arms.
>Confused you watch the trio turn into a cartoonish dust cloud of fighting as they soon move out of sight.
>Sitting down on the bench you ponder at the oddity of this town and shrug.
"Ponies man, strange little creatures."

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>>25690615
>You are future-Anon, from the distant year of one hour from now.
>You, Cadence, and Prince Mi Amore Shining are sitting in your quarters.
>Tea has been served, declined, and replaced with coffee (love that Rise and Grind blend), and the three of you are having a very frank discussion.
>C: "Now Shiny, you know that I love you very, very much, right?"
>SA: "Of course I do, silly filly. I love you just as much."
>You feel your coffee coming back on you, but you swallow it back down.
>These fucking ponies.
>Cadence takes it all in stride, if that indulgent smile means anything.
>C: "Then I need you to promise me that you won't tell your sister that Anonymous is here."
>Shining looks genuinely shocked about this.
>SA: "B-but whatever for? She and Anon are such close friends. Are they having some sort of disagreement?"
>Cadence looks a bit uncomfortable.
>"Obsessive behaviour bordering on unhealthy" is not something you say about one's sibling and expect good things to happen.
>C: "You.... could say that. Right now, Anonymous needs to be here in the Crystal Empire, and it would be for the best if Twilight had a bit of a chance to cool down before they meet again."
>SA: "Well, if it's as important as you say it is, honey, then I'll keep quiet."
>Shining downs the rest of his tea and glares at his horsewife.
>SA: "I expect a proper explanation later, Cadence. Especially if you expect to share a bed with me."
>Cadence is sweating now.
>She knows who wears the horsepants in this relationship.
>Cadence clears her throat nervously before waving a hoof at you.
>C: "Shining, love, why don't you take Anonymous out for a night on the town? I'm sure he's feeling very lonely after a month of being locked up in this old castle."
>That's bullshit and you know it, Cadence.

>>25699118
I was a retard who tried to type out the post number instead of clicking it. It didn't exist yet. THen by sheer coincidence, later on in the day I post that post. god dammit let's just forget about it and let me pretend I'm not a huge autist retard.

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>>25699162
>You've been drinking with your awesome new friends at the pub!
>Shining Armor just happily claps his hooves together and shoos his wife out of the room.
>SA: "Great idea, Cadence! It'll give me a chance to learn more about the colt my sister has been writing to me about!"
>He turns to face you, and you swear you can see Death in his eyes.
>His eyes, which are so much like Twilight's.
>No.
>Not again.
>He holds that empty smile on his face until he hears the doors close behind his wife.
>When he drops it, you almost wish he hadn't.
>The look of deadly-seriousness doesn't look natural on him.
>This isn't Prince Mi Amore Shining.
>This is Shining Armor, Captain of the Guards.
>SA: "Anonymous? Before we go anywhere, I need you to answer me honestly."
>Oh jesus you are about to be deported like a dirty Russian.
>SA: "The way that my Candy-Vag laid it out, it sounded like you and my sister had some kind of... disagreement, correct?"
"Yeah. Twilight saw the world one way; I saw the other."
>He tilts his head, but his gaze never leaves yours.
>SA: "All this espionage just to escape to the Crystal Empire.... It can't have been for nothing."
>SA: "The first time you visited here, and Twily came all the way over here just to bring you back.... this really paints her in a different light."
>His expression doesn't falter for a moment as he stares into your soul.
>Despite his flamboyant personality, the gears in his well-honed mind are turning.
>But hey, fuck me, right?
>Shining smiles at you and tugs you up after him out the door.
>SA: "It's time that you and me had some fun, Nonny!"

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>>25698002
>>25698178
>>25698446
>>25699010
>>25699121
My n-word! I like it! It's paced out REAL nice, friend.

>>25699121
i like these very much

>>25699210
aw shit, I smell a traitor. bump

>>25699162
>>You are future-Anon, from the distant year of one hour from now.
For some reason, I imagined and heard Cadence and Shining as robots for the rest of this post.

>>25699121
Cute, I like it.
The format is good, the pacing is great.
Wouldn't mind some more.. Please?

>>25699121
Hope for more in the future

>which mare watches anon shower?
>which one steals his unwashed underwear?
>and which one is always trying to cop a feel?

>>25699755
Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity in that order.

>>25697856

You're full of shit.

>>25699839
Not for long, I wasn't. Co-star of Water Power, 1977, enema fetish.

>>25699755
Rainbow Dash (she's not subtle enough to deal with her raw attraction other than to gaze upon Anon's naked body)
Twilight Sparkle (Research purposes. Who knows what kind of pheromones Anon gives off? This also allows for a semen, urine, and stool sample all at once. Anon's a real treasure)
Rarity (She wants the D; she'll GET the D)

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>>25699121
My heart

>>25684528
bump

>>25695870
Write it, my fellow African-American.

>>25695951
Image sauce plz. Search function a shit.

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>()”So, how many did you get?”
>Luna whispers to you while you lead the group to the theater.
”5.”
>()”Who’d you miss?”
“Yellow quite. Don’t ask about it.”
>Luna giggles.
>You notice Celestia speed up and overtake you.
>()”You know, she just put herself in your reach.”
>The princess says teasingly.
“Not in front of everyone. I have standards.”
>()”Hehe. Don’t let her hear that.”
>{}”Quite down back there! We have a serious task ahead of us!”
>()”Gee sister, nay fun allow’d.”
>{}”We can have fun AFTER this is all fixed!”
>The two of you chuckle, but do quiet down. Save for the few mumbles and whispers.
>The group moves together towards the Ponyville Theater.
>The theater was built after Twilight’s castle to make the city more ‘inviting to the princess’.
>Unfortunately, due to budget constraints, the theater is very small and not very impressive.
>But the princesses never actually visit it, so it’s OK.
>The minute your group is inside the theater, an angry voice calls to you.
>>>>>>>”Finally! Hello princess.”
>{}”You were expecting us?”
>>>>>>>”Well yea, you’re here to take away discord right? Damn colt has been teleporting in bands all week. he’s stopped since this afternoon, though. Not that I’m complaining.”
>”Fluttershy said he was looking for some music for a friend.”
>>>>>>>”I dunno, he’s been bringing in musicians from all over! It’s been going on for a week; we can’t keep up business like this.”
>”Alright, we’ll try to talk to him.”
>>>>>>>”That Colt and his bands, I don’t care, just get them out of here.”
>You finish up with the stressed theater manager, and enter inside the performance area.

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>>25700603

>Discord sits in the first row in the center, surrounded by musical instruments and scared looking ponies, griffons, Minotaur, and many other creatures.
>Some Pegasus band plays on stage, while their lead stallion sings a love song.
>Discord looks bored with his head leaned on his claw hand.
>>>>>”Discord! What are you doing?”
>Fluttershy quickly approaches discord like a mother.
>!”Oh my dear friend Fluttershy! I’ve been toiling away in the name of friendship!”
>”Discord, what are you talking about?”
>!”Humph. One would think the princess of friendship would understand the struggles one must go through to foster a friendship.”
>”NO! I totally understand. J-just tell us the problem?”
>!”I will not speak of such matters with you.”
>The Draconequus turns his nose up into and air.
>”You don’t have to! We understand.”
>{}”Actually, Discord –If I may-. We were just wondering if you could help us.”
>!”And WHY would I take my limited time to help?”
>{}”W-well, we just need to test this CRAAZY theory that Anonymous has-.”
>!”Anonymous!? Hah! Now there’s a fellow you can always rely on. Where is he?”
>You never knew Discord liked you this much.
“Over here.”
>!”Ahh! Anonymous! Take. And work on your high note son!”
>Discord speaks to the band on stage; the singer gives a dirty look before walking offstage.
>”How have you been honored friend?!”
“Pretty good. What’s this you’ve set up here?”
>!”Oh, it’s for a friend. I’m not sure you would understand.”
“Try me.”
>!”I have this friend. She’s fallen on a bit of a rough spot, and I –as a shining example of a friend- wish to make her feel better.”
“Define rough spot.”
>!”W-well when it’s all said and done, I suppose it was my fault. I said I would give her the best music to grace her ears on her birthday. The song I presented was –well- below expectation.”

Forgot name.

>>25700620
Keep going...

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>>25700620
>Forgot name
>Proceeds to put on wrong name

”So now you’re listening to every song possible to find the best?”
>!”She said she would not speak to me until I had presented her the greatest song ever sung.”
“Alright? Good luck with that.”
>!”Yes, thank you for listening. It has been a frustrating task, particularly with this blight on my magic.”
>”Blight on your magic!? Yes go on about that!”
>While she’s not subtle, you want to thank twilight for getting him to shut up.
>!”Oh! Since you mares will never shut up about it.”
>Discord snaps a few times.
>!”As you can see, some sort of terrible curse has fallen upon my magic. It just won’t work.”
>{}”I’m sure there is a reasonable explanation for this!”
>()”Sister, you mustn’t stall interrogation.”
>Celestia grrs and walks a bit further away.
“So you can’t do anything? Do you feel alright?”
>!”Well, mostly no. I cannot do anything. However, sometimes, if I use a lot of energy something can happen. However the something isn’t controllable.”
“Like?”
>!”Well I accidentally turned a colts hair into cotton candy, getting popcorn. It was for the better really, that do was so, tacky.”
>Discord grimaces.
>!”Fella hasn’t stopped screaming since.”
>()”doeth you feel tired, aft'r performing magic?”
>!”Now that I think about it, yes. Strange, I never feel tired after using magic.”
>”How do you obtain energy to use magic anyway?”
>!”From you of course.”
>”Me?”
>!”All ponies. Do not fret, I only take spent magic, and unlike changeling I can feed on all forms of magic and emotions.”
>Guess that explains the chaos.
>!”Oh I understand now. Pony magic has died down as well, am I right?”
>”Yes, that’s what we’re investigating.”
>>>”It seems that some sort of disturbance has caused magic black outs of sorts.”
>!”Anonymous. How do you feel?”
“Perfectly fine.”
>!”Yes I can see that.”
>Well he did say he feeds on emotions.

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>>25700645

“Alright I guess. So?”
>!”I believe I can help you Anonymous. I once created a device that can be used to measure magic and magical anomalies.”
>”The discordian meter?”
>>”But doesn’t that thing only measure chaos?”
>!”My mouth is dry, Anonymous explain.”
“I have only an outsider perspective into magic, but if I think Discord is saying magic is chaos?”
>!”Close my friend. Magic and chaos are just two sides of the same coin.”
>Like mass and energy?
>!”A creature using magic is simply using controlled chaos. And a creature creating chaos is through magic.”
>”But what about non-magical creatures? And those of the Everfree?”
>!”Any creature that makes their home outside the Everfree has some magic in them. Maybe not intellectual, but they have instinctual understanding of magic.”
>Discord looks away and thinks.
>He surprised you. You thought he would pull some pranks crack some bad jokes and leave more confusion or be useless.
>!”As for the Everfree. We have an expert on the subject. Anonymous, tell us how non magical environments operate.”
“Well, simply natural laws. They just follow the laws of biology.”
>”Can’t you be more specific?”
>!”We lack a common reference. Tell me Anonymous; are there flying creatures on your world?”
“Sure, birds, bats, insects.”
>!”And how do they fly?”
“If I remember right from physics class, aerodynamic effects. Particles of air striking the leading edge of a wing and deflecting down and up create high and low pressure areas above or below the wing. The angle of attack decides the location of the low pressure area, and it’s relative strength to the high pressure.”
>”How does this help us discord?”
>!”Birds come from the Everfree forest. Even those living outside of it and capable of understanding magic use what the Everfree taught their ancestors.”
>”And that’s why we don’t know how bird flight work.”

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>>25700659

>{}”This discussion is interesting and all, but it doesn’t help us get to the problem. Discord, can you help us or not?”
>!”We will continue our discussion, for now. We should discuss getting my device.”
>{}”What do you mean, ‘getting your device’?”
>!”Well, after the incident with my friend, I had tried to make it up to her and gave her my device.”
“And we have to get it back from her?”
>!”I would do it myself, but as it stands I cannot reliably use my magic.”
><>”If I may ask, Who, is your friend?”
>!”Uraltdra.”
>()”The dragon?!”
>The ponies look alarmed.
“Is she important?”
>”She’s the one thing all dragons fear.”
>()”She is ancient, wise and respected.”
>>”No one ever told you of the stories? No one messes with her.”
><>”Legend says if you go to the entrance of her lair and play to her, and she likes it. She will grant you a wish.”
>!”She always did have a sweet spot for music. No one ever takes up her offer and plays anything for her.”
“You think we can get the device if we play something?”
>!”Perhaps. Though she likes to play games too. It would better to perhaps steal the device while she listens to the music.”
“Alright, then let’s do it.”
>!”’let’s go?’ ‘Let’s go?!’ I’ve been here all week looking for the perfect song, and found nothing! NOTHING!”
“Yea, but I haven’t’ had a shot yet.”
>Discord gives you a blank stare.
>Then he looks away and thinks for a second.
>!”Fine. I have to save the 27th band I sent to her anyway.”
>You all turn to the exit and begin walking.
>>>>>>>”Oh thank you all so much!”
>()”Thou art most welcome!”
>Luna walks next to you again.
“Next time you tell me to do anything in my dreams, I’m not doing it.”
>()”What do you mean?”
“Nothing.”

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>>25700669

>Walking for a couple of hours, the group approaches a mountain range.
>{}”She’s just here? It’s pretty close to ponyville.”
>!”She is merely visiting. She’s normally back home in the dragon lands.”
>In single file, they walk up ancient eroded steps.
>Just under the summit, is a cave that looks like it was carved out some immeasurable time ago.
>[]”What are these?”
>Some artistic carving long eroded by savage mountain winds. A picture of what seems to be a story.
>A small humanoid creature, traveling hard paths. Faded forests, damaged lakes, and cracked tunnels.
>At some point the hero looks up to a giant dragon.
>Everything before the beginning and this point is too faded to understand.
>It looks like the story isn’t over, but there is no sign of any more carvings.
>{}”We can look at ancient art later. Right now, we have a angry dragoness to speak with.”
>They continue into the cave.
>$”You better keep practicing! You’re not leaving until hear something sweet!”
>!”That would be her. Prepare to introduce yourselves.”
>They enter a giant decorated chamber in the cave.
>Unlike most dragons that pile their treasure and lay on it, the treasure in this cave is spread as decoration.
>There is a plinth in the center of the room where a large dragon sits.
>$”Discord! This band better be bringing me some music! Or I’ll make a flute out o-. This isn’t a band is it?”
>!”Uraltdra! My friend! These are my friends: Twilight Sparkle, the princess of magic. Rainbow Dash, Rarity. My best friend Fluttershy! Apple Jack, pri-“
>$”I know who the princesses are you fool.”
>{}”It’s been a very long time.”
>$”One and a half millennia, to be exact. You really let music go in your time. Where have you been sister?”
>{}”Busy, so what’s this about?”
>$”Discord didn’t tell you?”
>()”He claim’d, of a birthday gift gone wrong.”
>The dragon eyes discord, who smiles back.

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>>25700689

>$”A couple months ago, Discord was on a losing streak in a game of stones. So he bet his possessions. Anyway, he wants them back so I told him to bring me the greatest song ever and he may have his stuff back. At this rate his stuff may become a permanent addition to my bedroom.”
>!”Well, I left our irrelevant details.”
>$”So you brought friends to try to convince me? Not going to work discord.”
>!”NO! I wouldn’t dream of cheating you! I brought someone who may have the perfect song.”
>Anonymous steps in front of the princesses.
>[]”Hey. I’m Anon Y Mous. Call me Anon.”
>The dragon looks seriously at the human, bringing her head to his height, and moving close him.
>She sniffs him, and looks curiously at him.
>$”You’re not from here? Sir Anonymous.”
>[]”Just Anon is cool. And yea, I’m from earth. Don’t ask me how I ended up here. I have no idea.”
>$”I see. Will you be playing for me? We would love to hear what you have to sing, Sir Anonymous.”
>[]”Yea, I’ll try to impress you.”
>$”You’re kind doesn’t need to. The other band is in that room. We look forward to listening to your people sounds.”
>{}”I will stay here and catch up if you don’t mind.”
>()”Take your time sister. We shall be fine.”
>$”Why don’t you stay as well, discord?”
>!”W-well. Ok.”
>The group heads down a short hallway, towards a room where some music is playing.

File: Luna. NMM Sicker than your average sun praiser. Spit magic sun fucking shit, sun worshipping players. Tripple letter hooligans, like moon mare.jpg (109KB, 600x400px) Image search: [Google]

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>>25700693

>[]”Luna.”
>()”Yes?”
>[]”How do we know she’s going to hand over discords thing if she likes the song? Her beef’s with discord, I don’t know how you gods like to do things.”
>()”I suppose there is no way for us to know, but what other choice do we have?”
>[]”Steal it.”
>()”And how do you suggest we do that?”
>[]”They’ll probably turn the lights off during the performance, so while the music plays, you guys work by candle light, and while the dragon is distracted go to her room and take it.”
>()”That is crazy, dangerous, and probably a long shot. Sounds good to me.”
>[]”Do you know what we’re looking for?”
>()”The meter? Yes, everypony knows what it looks like, or at least a general concept of it.”
>[]”Alright then. Good luck moon butt. And don’t tell the girls it was my idea.”
>()”I’ll form a plan with the others. You go speak to that band. Good luck ‘Sir Anonymous’.”
>The princess stops the other ponies and begins planning with them. Anon walks further down the hall to the band.
>[]”Alright, we have a crazy dragoness to please. Follow me if you want to live.”

Alright then. Good bye.

I'll update the pastebin.

http://pastebin.com/Jm9G3sTP

I don't understand why men are supposed to hate shopping. Who doesn't love getting new stuff?

>>25700728
Moar? bump

>>25700929
I don't know why but shopping leaves me rather tired.
I would gladly hike through the forest for hours but a few hours shopping leaves me tired as fuck.
I suppose that the stereotype is in shopping with women as in your more bound to wait and go from place to place, where I myself just pop in and out.

>>25701034
I just hatted large groups of people

>>25701034
you mean how they go in alot of stores for awhile, just looking and not buying anything?

>>25684528
bump

>>25700728
What the fuck is you with spamming all these random brackets everywhere? It's incredibly off putting and makes the story (at least for me) incredibly annoying to read.

>>25701317
That is why I cant stand to read it. There are far better ways to differentiate speakers than put random shit in front of what they say (at least I think that is the point?).

>>25700929
>I don't understand why men are supposed to hate shopping. Who doesn't love getting new stuff?

you apparently never went shopping with a female that LIKES TO STOP AT EVERY SHOE RACK WHILE SHE HAS 30 PAIRS ALREADY!

>>25701494
Tfw you know a guy with a foot (shoe?) Fetish, who has more womens shoes than his wife.

>>25701494
>>25701539
Or better yet when the girl goes through the entire store, looks at the items, picks out maybe two or three items after manhandling the fucking entire inventory to see what is good or not. Then puts it all back after selecting those two or three items they actually want.

>>25700603
>()
>{}

WTF is this? You forgot their names?

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>PreWings Twilight x Anonymous.
>Twilight is a cringey autist.
>Anon doesn't care, loves her anyway.
>Stallions make fun of Anon because of Twilight.
>Anon is annoyed, but Twi feels like shit because of it. She keeps telling him she'll get better for him.
>More heartfelt stuff.
>Fastforward to wings.
>Twilight now less autistic and royal alicorn.
>Combo of wings+horn triggers ungodly amount of attraction in tiny horses.
>Twi goes from nerdy beta to an 11/10 overnight.
>All the stallions from before are puffed up with jealousy for weeks.
>Anon gets the last laugh.

>>25701614
>>All the stallions from before are puffed up with jealousy for weeks

>weeks

try forever

>>25701614
It'd be like that thing in high schooler films, where the fugly nerd girl gets a makeover and suddenly all the guys are falling over her. But, you know, different because of the RGRE thing.

>>25684528
bump

>>25701494
and likes to look at ALL THE FUCKING CLOTHES IN EVERY FUCKING STORE

>>25701826
Now you know how mares feel.

>>25701258
Things like that yeah.

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>>25699850
Eww...

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>>25701059
Gaben?

short one-posts greentexts in the gdocs lost it's link. halp

>>25700728
not even gonna read this. If you have to identify the characters speaking, then use characters (eg their initials) that the reader doesn't need to write down a fucking legend just to figure out who's talking.

Your green's probably really good, but fuck me if its unreadable

>>25702898
this

>>25684528
Was there a story actually written off of this pic?

>>25703181
there's been several about mares using chest fluff to impress males but I don't think any of them focused on it all that much

I had a thought:

Unlike Celestia's Day Guard, Luna and her Night Guard take in all types, regardless of gender and species (courtesy of Luna being from a time where the gender roles were more 'human'-like).

She takes in the dispossessed, the hopeless, the unfairly spat-on, the outcasts, and reforms them, Marine Corps-style, into an elite, unconventional fighting unit, giving them purpose.

As of such, they're kinda outcasts amongst Equestrian society -- but, that's okay: they have Luna, their princess.

Even when Luna is ridiculed for having a male and an extraequestrian, Anonymous the human, as the Captain of her guard.

Anon, when he first arrived, was treated as a monster, and even when that mess was cleared up he was still looked on with fear and suspicion, male or not.

Luna took him in and gave him purpose, and thus he has a great deal of loyalty and emotional attachment to her.

They stopped laughing when he single-handedly beats a team of assassins to death.

Unfortunately, he's now seen as being 'hot shit', and all the mares who scorned him before are now trying to flirt with him, as he does his duties -- including, much to Luna's and his own irritation, Celestia.

So, waiting things to cool down/blow over (both with the mares and Celestia, who's determined to bag herself a capable husband out of the deal), Luna dispatches Anonymous to protect Ponyville and, by extension, the newest Princess, Twilight Sparkle.

The ponies try to get him to 'relax', treating him as a stereotypical colt. Unfortunately, Anon's idea of relaxing is punishing PT, camping, hunting, and training.

The Ponyvillians just can't understand him.

>>25703589
Good story, Anon. Thanks for writing it.

>>25703606
Not a problem.

>>25703589
Is it bad that I want more of these? It's like an injection of a story in one post. For some reason it gets my artfag bones tingling.

>>25703589
I'm a fan of this.

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>>25703589

>>25704775
no
fuck you

>>25703589
If I had the time, I'd love to do something with this. Reminds me of the Personal Guard Anon short I did, and also a little of the Ponevengers idea I had in mind as another avenue of the "Ponies think Anon is a female" theme.

>>25703589
Yes, hello, I would like to read this story.

>>25684528
bump

>>25705374
>the Ponevengers idea I had in mind

As in Avengers the comics, or Avengers the 60's spy show?
In any case, I'd love to see it.
In fact, I'd love to see just about anything.

>>25705669
>be anon
>chilling at the bar
>a mug of cider is put infron of you
>"hey hot stuff, what's your name"
My name is anonymous, and you?
>"My name is just about anything"

>>25705726
They're a changeling. Give it the love.

>>25693270
I think you're legally obligated to write that now.

>>25705750
you little shit love you
N-no homo

>>25684528
bump

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>>25699210
>And so, you and your new best friend/warden are wandering the streets of the Crystal Empire.
>You're a big enough faggot to admit that maybe Cadence was right about getting out.
>The castle WAS a bit stuffy.
>It's nice to do the thing where you can see the sun.
>You like that part.
>"...And that's when I bucked her in the crotch!"
>Oh, right, conversation. This is happening.
>"Oh goodness, I'm just droning on and on about myself."
>Shining chuckles to himself and slows down his pace to settle down beside you.
>"Tell me about yourself, Nonny! Twily's letters made you out to be some lost and confused colt that she rescued, but my little sister's got a hero complex from here to Canterlot."
>You manage to get a chuckle out of that.
"Here to the griffon lands, more like."
>Shining laughs and nudges your thigh. Maybe this guy isn't so bad after all.
"Well, there isn't much to say about me. I arrived here a good couple of kilometres above the ground and landed on (or is it in?) Rarity's boutique."
>Shining stops in his tracks.
>"Wait, what?"
>That's pretty much the reaction you get from everyone here when you tell them this.
>Lucky for you, whatever magic that brought you here kept you from splattering all over Rarity's nice, hardwood floors when you hit them going at terminal velocity.
"Yup. Whatever magic zapped me here didn't really have any vertical data or SOMETHING."
>You stop and unconsciously rub your arm, which still bears some scarring.
"Didn't keep me from getting injured, though. A few weeks in Ponyville hospital, and I was good to go."
>With Shining distracted by your violent introduction to Equestria, you put your hand on his withers and gently guide him towards your favourite pub.
>Manly-man bear-men await you.

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>>25706384
"Anyway, after that I tried to do some odd-jobs around town."
>You wriggle your hoof-spiders at him. The very hoof-spiders that you've been told give a bunch of tiny girl-horses some serious wet dreams.
>You disgust yourself sometimes.
"You know, general repair; heavy lifting; sometimes massages..."
>It took you a really, REALLY long time to learn that a unicorn's horn is one of her no-no places.
>Being the unassuming man you are, you didn't instantly assume that you had Magic Mike fingers.
>Mistake number one.
>"And they just let you do that?"
"I know. Ponyville can be kind of... overbearing, in that regard, but most of them left me to my work once they saw that I wasn't killing myself with it."
>Twilight and her friends excluded, of course.
>They mean well, and you love them very much, but they are the most obnoxious assholes you know.
>By this point you've reached the pub, but Shining Armor tugs you back with his magic.
>Once you've reached a safe difference, the white unicorn pulls you aside and hisses into your ear.
>"Anon! Buddy, friend! We're going for a late-night walk, remember? We can get some drinks later; I know a WONDERFUL pub just an hour away that has a Colt's Night."
>He keeps a magical hoof on your shoulder and guides you away from the pub.
>"C'mere, I wanna show you this beautiful lake I found. There's nothing more relaxing than sitting next to it and staring into the water."
>He sounds excited, but you can hear how forced it is.
>"Sometimes there are geese there!"
>My god.
>He's going to drown you.

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>>25705794
I think you might be right.

>>25706425
>You're knocked out of your dark musings by Shining magically lifting you up and placing you on a bench, and then taking a seat beside you.
>"Anon, I didn't want to talk to you about this in the palace; not something this important."
>He won't meet your eye.
>"I wasn't born yesterday, Anonymous. I can see the signs when they're there."
>"Twilight coming aallll the way over here just to collect you..."
>"Sneaking out of Ponyville in the dead of night to escape my sister..."
>"My Caddy being as nervous as she was about keeping your presence here a secret..."
>He huffs a little bit.
>"Not even trusting her own husband, just because the mare you're hiding from is my sister..."
>The hard look in his eyes is back again. He is once again Shining Armor, Captain of the Guard.
>"I know how my sister is, Anonymous. Possessive, OBsessive, and she tends to get a little... crazy when she tries and fails to right a perceived wrong."
>He scoots up to you and rests his head on your shoulder.
>P-probably homo.
>"I won't say a word to my sister, Anon. I like gossip as much as any other colt, but I know when something is off-limits."
>Maybe Prince Mi Amore Shining isn't all that bad.
>You throw an arm over his shoulder, which kind of startles him.
>Hoof-spiders, son.

>>25706446
loving this

>>25703589
This needs to exist. Bump

>>25706446
I thought for a while that Shining thought Anon was having an affair with Cadence. Keep writing.

>>25684528
bump

>>25706446
bump

>>25707352

Working on the final update of Barbarian Sunbutt and healbot human 9000.
After this, I'll probably finish tabletops, and then... eh.

>>25706425
bump

>>25707922
dubs confirm, next story is about struggling with ennui in RGRE.

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Magical Boy Anon when?

>>25707994
It's more, I'm planning on taking a break from writing stories for a while.
I may still throw up tread bumpers, and I'll still be around, but I won't be making big stories.

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>>25708043
Holy shit. I didn't think I'd see one of you guys outside of our usual bit.

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>>25708092
I don't actually spend much time on the Fallout Equestria threads. I've visited them less than half a dozen times in the last year.

I just really, really like Murky Number Seven.
Pic related is my cell phone wallpaper.

>>25708136
I don't go there any more, either. One day I decided that there wasn't much good left in it to go to. It's a shame.

>>25708043
>Celly: "Anoon"
"What is it Celly?"
>Celly: "Become poneguca!"
>Careamell: "no Anoon"
>Big Whopper: "I become poneguca for Appulejuck"
>Thunerlon: "Won't let you"
>Appulejuck: "Why"
>Timespinner: "I become poneguca?"
>Celly: "No"
"what I wish for?"
>Shyning amore: "please"
>Careamell: "no Anoon no"
>Big Whopper: "don't listen to Careamell"
>Timespinner: "We your friends Anoon!"
"What i do?"
>Big Whopper: "I protect Anoon and Appulejuck"
>Appulejuck: "thank you Big Whopper"
"But"
>Big Whopper: "It okay"
"Shyning why"

>>25708185
wut?

>>25708202
Betting it's Durnk

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>>25706446

>Meanwhile, in Canterlot Castle
>The above-ground portion of the castle is the crown-jewel of Canterlot.
>It is tall, majestic, and proudly boasts a powerful set of spellwork that allows it to exist clamped onto the sheer-face of a mountain.
>It was designed highlight everything that was good and proper with Equestria, beautiful and housing the centuries-old goddess-princess: the benevolent Princess Celestia.
>The underground, however, is a much different story.
>While the overground castle has spires and towers and courtyards placed wherever it felt right to place them, the belowground was designed with functionality in mind.
>A single shaft connects the castle to the dungeons, meaning that anything escaping would have only one path to take.
>The entire dungeon is symmetrical and vaguely pinecone-shaped. Everything is connected to one centre room, which has the thickest walls, heaviest doors, and most deeply-etched magical defensive runes.
>The War Room.
>Despite the lack of war in Equestria's recent history, this room was (even to this day) a site of military plans and wargames.
>Security and scrying spells all trace back to the War Room; whoever has control over the War Room, has control over Castle Canterlot.

>A heavy, mahogany table dominates the centre of the Room. Maps are pinned to every available surface, enemy and ally positions updated hourly.
>Studying this table were the Princesses, Celestia and Luna. With them were the Elements from Ponyville, each with an expression of varying levels of worry on their faces.
>TS: "Have you managed to find Anonymous yet, Princess? That's why you called us here...."
>She stops her pacing and glances at Celestia, her ears drooping and her eyes filled with hope.
>TS: "....Right?"
>You are Celestia, and you honestly don't care very much for the heavy atmosphere that Twilight Sparkle insists on bringing with her.

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>>25708253
>You love your most special student with all your heart, but by the Old Ones, if it isn't one thing, it's another.
>All of your citizens, even your most recent and strange, have the right to live where they wish. And Element of Magic or not, Twilight doesn't get to just change that.
>But, if you can just tell her what KINGDOM he's in, maybe she can send him a letter or something, and come to terms with the entire situation.
"No, Twilight Sparkle, I haven't found any positive indication that he is outside our kingdom."
>You shoot a glance at your sister, who is reading a "Playmare" magazine with an expression of boredom.
"Have you found anything, Sister?"
>L: "Hmm?"
>Luna looks up at you, floating a bookmark between the glossy pages of her book.
>L: "Oh, yes; that. Neigh, Sister dearest. Our voyages into the dreams of our foreign allies did not reveal any increased frequencies of dreams of a hairless biped."
>She goes back to her magazine, licks a hoof, and uses it to turn the page.
>L: "Fair Anonymous hast not been to the Griffon lands, the Minotaur lands, nor any settlements near rumoured Changeling hives."
>That settles that.
"As you can see, Twilight, Anonymous hasn't been taken against his will to any foreign kingdoms."
>Applejack, who had been quiet and contemplative this entire meeting, chooses now to speak up.
>AJ: "Ah don' know 'bout that, Princess. With all due 'spect, all y'all've proven is still among ponies."
>How dare she.
>If you're about to be outsmarted by a farmer, you'll kill yourself.
>You put a smile on your face regardless.
"Oh? Do tell, Applejack. Anything you can contribute would help immensely."
>Applejack puts a dirt-covered hoof to her chin.
>Eternal Sleeper you can smell her from here.

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>>25708285
>AJ: "Well, if'fin he ain't with the dirty catbirds, the minotaurs, or even the bug-ponies, then all that leaves is pony-controlled land."
>She walks up to the map and points to the only other pony-dominated lands left:
>The Crystal Empire.
>AJ: "Tha' jus' leaves Princess Cadence's kingdom, dunnit? If our colt hastuh be anywhere, it'll be here."
>FatherFUCKER.
>Oh well, you had a good run.
>Can you even kill yourself? You honestly don't know if you can die that way.
>TS: "Applejack! That's brilliant!"
>FUCK
>How did Twilight get right in front of you?
>You need to put a bell on that mare or something.
>Twilight turns to you and for the first time in nearly a month, she looks happy.
>TS: "Princess! Now we can go get Anon back!"
>Rainbow Dash chooses this moment to float over to your student, lazily lounging on her back mid-air.
>RD: "Twilight, I still don't see why you're getting your teats into such a twist over this. Anon's a big colt, and if he wants to live somewhere else, he can."
>AJ: "Rainbow Dash, that ain't what we're havin' an issue with here. Yer right, none'uh us can stop Anawn if he decides ter move outta Ponyville. Thang is, colt left in the dead of night an' didn't even leave a note. We're just worried tha' he left 'gainst his will, sugarcube."
>RD: "Is that why we're in a secret, awesome room hidden a billion feet below the Castle? For a colt?"
>She flips onto her stomach and inches her way over to Applejack.
>RD: "If it had been a mare, we never would have sent a letter to the Princesses."

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>>25708307
>Rarity decided to throw her two bits into the conversation.
>R: "Rainbow Dash has a point, dear. Anonymous' room was very clean, and everything was in order. It didn't look like there was any kind of struggle."
>Applejack ignores the fashion horse and rolls her eyes.
>AJ: "Dashie, Ah ain't 'bout to have this argument with you again. Mares are taught how to take care of themselves, and stallions ain't. Fact of the matter is, Anawn's not safe out there without a mare with him."
>Ugh.
>Honestly.
>Twilight is more concerned with having Anonymous back in her house and living with her than she is for Anonymous's personal decisions.
>Applejack doesn't really care WHERE Anonymous decides to live, but she won't let go of the idea that Anonymous is incapable of "mare's work" and needs some sort of protector/minder.
>While Rainbow Dash puts up a macho-marely front (for her reputation), she's one of the only Elements who sees Anonymous as a pony first and a male second.
>Quick as you can, you usher the motley crew (and your sister) out of the War Room and teleport them to the train station. This has nothing to do with your empire, and you doubt that Twilight and her friends will do anything to spark an international incident.
>Either way, it's out of your hands now.
>.......You just realized that you could have asked your sister to visit the human's dream to find out where he was.
>You're such a dork sometimes.

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>>25708321
>You are Anon, and you're sitting in a familiar room.
>It's your bedroom, all the way back from Earth.
>Your bed is right where you left it; unmade and smelly.
>Your clothes carpet your hardwood floors, and food wrappers litter the ground surrounding your trash bin.
>God you've missed this place.
"Any updates, Luna?"
>Princess Luna steps out from your closet, wearing one of your sweaters.
>But because this is a dream, it's been modified to fit her large, equine frame.
>"Indeed, sir Anonymous."
>She sits herself down on spinny computer chair, and entertains herself by spinning around in rapid circles.
>"Through process of elimination, my Sister and her Elements hast found thy location. My sister canst do anything herself due to legal reasons, the Elements can act as an independent party."
>She stops spinning to look at you, but instead she falls off of your chair and rolls around onto her back.
>"Expect visitors soon, Anonymous."
>The dream fades, and you can feel your body waking up.

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>>25708202
>>25708223
You uncultured swine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrgxHDoe8gA

>>25708353
Love the story Analplug.

Just one little thing >>25708321:
>>Either way, it's out of your hands now.
Unless you're implying something about Celly and Anon.

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>>25708353
>You are Anon, and this isn't your bed.
>And why on earth are Cadence and Shining snuggling up to......Oh.
>Oh, right. You remember now.
>The cuddling.
>It's been a few weeks since your "moment" with Shining, and since then you've all just hung out and spent time together.
>They're pretty chill. Cadence has an amazing sense of humour and can get him out of a funk lickity-split.
>Shining knows how to be a friend, and has gone so far as to lie to his sister when she sent him a letter to find out where you were.
>Suck it, Harvest Something from The Green Horsefucker! You've been replaced by your NEW best friends!

>Last night, when Cadence and her husband called you up to their bedroom, you were worried that they had caught wind of your mad hand skills.
>You really, REALLY hoped that Shining didn't want a taste of your horn-stroking.
>You know...
>Down there.
>Nope, all they wanted was a cuddling.
>Said it was a "test run" or something.
>Is cuddling like sex around here?
>You don't really know how ponies work.
>You had access to Twilight's library, but she doesn't organize her books at all.
>You had "Pony Anatomy" right next to "How to Blow a Perfect Spit-Bubble".
>You still had enough pride that you weren't about to ask Twilight how baby ponies were made.
>Just then, Cadence does this adorable little yawn and burrows into your side.
>D'aww.

That's all I got for tonight. Hope y'all enjoy it.

>>25708372
No, sir. I'm not implying anything about them.

>>Love the story Analplug.
Thank you friend, it's always nice to hear people say that.

>>25708404
Cadence and Shiny horsemarry Anon so he doesn't have to leave.
Twilight gets clam jammed by her own brother and sister-in-law.
It's all because Shiny and Lovebutt have a bigger Crystal Castle Playset.™

>>25708430
I was more pointing out the use of the phrase "out of ones hands" and that Celly was saying it. Was joking about the Celestia and Anon thing, I know there's nothing there.

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>>25708404
>Just then, Cadence does this adorable little yawn and burrows into your side.

>>25708404
Yes... Yessss.... It begins!

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>>25703589
In Equestria

>>25708456
Yeah, I caught the hand/hoof mixup too. My bad.

>>25701494
I feel like I can't say much when I have six guns on display and thinking of getting more.

>>25684528
bump

>>25701494
In the same boat as this guy >>25708764. Also do the same when I'm at a fine liquor store staring at the whiskies or in a hardware store.

>>25684528
bump

>>25684528
bump

>>25706425
That image makes it look like Luna is pissing like a dog.

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>>25708185
Being poneguca is suffering

>>25710783
What Luna does in the privacy of her own night is her own business.

>>25708043
I think a few of us did stuff like that months ago.
We need more.

>Be Anon
>In Equestria
>At fluttershy's place because she owes you money.
>Her little rabbit thing is there
>"Hello Anon"
"Since when can you speak?"
>"Since the author decided I was the closest fit for a crossover thing."
"What's the crossover this time?"
>"You don't want to know."
>Fuck, that's ominous
>"So anyway, I heard Fluttershy owes you some money."
"A large amount of money."
>"She's a bit strapped for cash right now, if I give you magical powers will you call it even?"
"These had better be some good magic powers."
>"Trust me, they are. Just make a contract with me."
>What harm can a contract do?
>You sign it.
>"Good choice Anon, enjoy being a magical boy"
>You point your hand out and lightning launches out from that space just under your fingernail.
>It hits a tree which explodes leaving a small crater
"Sweet. Consider the debt paid."
>You go off to play with your new powers

>>25708223
Don't you bring me into this.
Script format fics a shit.

>>25708404
More!

>>25701317
>>25702898

Changed it in the pastebin, that's the best i can do.

http://pastebin.com/Jm9G3sTP

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>>25708285
Celestia and Luna are wonderful in this.

>>25708434
i am ok with this

>>25711186
bump

>>25711186
Thank you. Let's hope I don't fuck them up.

>>25711186
Agreed.

>>25684528
bump

>>25707922
What about that deadbeat mom Cadence thing?

>>25684528
bump

Pastebin Link: http://pastebin.com/kTspNkHC

>You are Anonymous, and you are currently shaving before your best friend and 'bro' Twilight comes over for that all you can eat apology night of hers
>Despite what she may make others think, she is a total slob when it comes to food sometimes, you chuckle as you remember some of the times you've had to wipe her mouth with a napkin
>Just as you finish up and inspect your lovely face to see if you somehow cut anything, you hear loud knocking coming from your front door
>Shit, you were too caught up in admiring your fresh and beardless face that you lost track of time
"I-In a minute! Just let me get finished up here first!"
>Calling out and hoping she heard, you dash into your room, discarding the towel along the way before chucking on your most basic outfit
>Have to go commando though, after the stunt that Fluttershy pulled last night, you are currently without any form of underwear
>It took you about a minute or two but you finally open the front door
>And your face immediately drops as you spy who it is on the other side
>"Well howdy to ya too Anon, don't look too sullen that we're here!"
>"Yeah! I noticed that Twilight was buying like, a whole flank load of food, so I had to come and scope it out."
>Standing on both sides of a very apologetic Twilight, are Pinkie Pie and Applejack
>Now, while they were alright ponies to deal with, sometimes their mannerisms and habits can be a bit much
>Pinkie's off switch just doesn't seem to exist, it's like she's constantly hooked up 100 cups of coffee
>Meanwhile Applejack means well, she really does but she has that 'old granny' like racism and sexism about her, and she ain't afraid to speak her mind
>"I'm so, so sorry Anon, they both just stalked me in the markets before they surprised me and just followed me here."

>>25711948

>You were going to ask why she didn't teleport, but remembering that Pinkie Pie was involved you heave out a defeated sigh
"I must say though, for a mare who loves parties, you seem to have no problem with inviting yourself to someone else's party."
>Staring down at Pinkie Pie, you sincerely hope that somewhere in that crazy funhouse of a mind of hers, that she will see some sense in this and leave
>"OOOOOH, A PARTY!?~"
>Nope, nevermind, you're utterly doomed
>"It isn't a party Pinkie, Anon and I were just going to enjoy a night where we watch movies and just relax."
>"Uh huh, yeah sure Twilight, I believe ya about this whole 'relaxin' business. A mare and a stallion, totally alone in a dark room and there ain't no hanky panky going on."
>"Now that is mighty sneaky of you Anon, getting the princess to buy some comfort snacks for you, but while I know you two are best friends and all. Having that much to yourselves is just going to ruin both of you, especially someone who still needs to find a herd."
>You see the look that the orange apple pony is giving you, it speaks as though she is heavily implying that statement at you
>Before you could call her out though Twilight immediately decides it is time to cut into the conversation
>"Okay then! Now how about we just stop talking about herds and just get everypony inside okay? Okay! That seems like a good idea Twilight."
>Not wasting any time, she teleports the bags of various food, fast food, herself and her friends into your home
>"Wowee Twily, I forgot how weird it was to go all boom and zap to someplace else!"
>Pinkie giggles loudly before she turns on the spot and begins rummaging in the bags
>"Now, I know that I slid some yummy chocolates into your cart while you weren't looking!~"
>Almost singing the name of each and every item that she comes across in those bags, she begins swinging her tush from side to side

>>25711952
>You have to admit that she does have a very round looking rear, guess all of those sweets she has really fills her out
>Not even five seconds go by before you hear a firm cough coming from Applejack
>"Uh Pinkie? I'm pretty sure that myself, Twilight and Anon can very clearly see your sideways smile, so why don't you go ahead and hide that with your tail please?"
>"Huh? Oh! Oppsy doodle, sorry about that Nonny, normally when it's just us mares I don't really care to cover myself up but I forgot that you're here, funny how I could forget you were here considering that this is your house!"
>And with that Pinkie dives into the bag, no literally
>She jumps up into the air, does a flip and falls into the bag where she should have hit the ground but just outright disappeared before popping up behind your kitchen counter with a can of whipped cream
>"YES! Hehehehe!~ I cannot wait to put this on all of my foodstuffs tonight, this is going to be the greatest 'all you can eat and movies at Anon's party' party ever!"
>Her excitement and joy is slightly contagious as you find youself smiling at her antics, even clapping softly for the stunt she pulled off
>"Thank you, thank you! I'll be here until my stomach explodes, or at least until you kick me out!"
>Bowing several times, the two of you share a laugh as you join her in the kitchen to begin sorting through the food
>Hearing a supposedly quiet and hushed tone of a certain orange pony though, you make sure to look as though you couldn't hear them
>"Hey psst, Twilight? Should Pinkie and I actually leave? I just thought I would do the polite marely friend thing to do and ask before you and Anon get down and dirty."
>Hearing the groan emanating from your best friend brings a smile to your face
>"Anon and I aren't a thing Applejack, is it really that hard to believe that we are literally just friends? Why don't you just look at him as Anon and not another colt?"

>>25711724
Good question. That one would fit here really well...
Maybe.

>>25711957
>Twilight's already whipping out the big logic guns, a sneaky glance up offers you the sight of Applejack looking rather perplexed by Twilight's question
>"But he is a colt, did you not see how stunned and shocked he was when Pinkie flashed him? Poor boy was speechess."
>"I don't understand what you are talking about sometimes Applejack, first you imply Anon and I performing coitous with each other and then you go on to think he was scared of Pinkie's netherlips?"
>Unable to hold it in anymore you end up softly chuckling at their conversation
>Both mares locking up and looking a bit pink in the face at being found out
>Even Pinkie joins in laughing with you, sitting on you shoulder until you both stop laughing a minute later
>"So, what were we even laughing about Nonny?"

And that is all I have for now. I do apologize for the small update but I've been busy with life stuff still. Had to deal with bank being a bit weird and now have to go deal with Paypal being a dick. Anyway, I will be putting more into this eventually, I hope you enjoy Pinkie Pie, since I had fun writing her lines.

>>25711963
don't apologize just keep it going

>>25711963
Bump

The oblivious anon story was really cute. Is it finished or still ongoing?

>>25711005
>Be Anon a few days later
>Be in castle
>You used your powers to make bits somehow.
>Used your bits for a night at the bar.
>Mare hits on you and drugs you.
>Brought you to alleyway where she attempted to rape you.
>Turns out lightning comes out of any of your extended body parts.
>Your dick fried the mare into a coma but apparently it was seen as self defense.
>Now Twilight and her friends are trying to console you and be a shoulder to lean on
>"How are you feeling there Anon?"
>Oh shit they are still talking.
"Fine. Everythings good."
>The girls give worried looks to each other.
>Everything actually is fine.
>You are just distracted as you ponder how you will live your new life as the super hero Tazer Dick
>Do you go pantless or have a hole in the crotch of your pants?

>>25712311
>Remember that the contract stated your a magical boy now not a super hero.
>You can't be called Tazer Dick
>......
>Tazer Dick-chan!
>Problem solved
>Solid new name

Prompt: anon finds nyx in the everfree, but doesn't know modern gender roles

>>25712397
Why would a greek goddess of night be in Equestria?

>>25712427
dunno, but when she arrives she is a alicorn filly with black fur & a purple mane

>>25712450
So... an oc?

>>25712452
exactly :^)

>>25712482
Why not just use the seperated spirit on nightmare moon, condensed into a physical form. But, after being weakened by the elements, all that comes out is a filly. Or Luna stumbles into an old curse on the castle, and is transformed into a mostly powerless filly, and Anon finds her.
There are plenty of Canon things you can do without resorting to an OC.

>>25711963
Brolight is preddy cool.
>>25712427
Got lost and came out the wrong exit in Tartarus?
>>25712450
A REALLY REALLY PISSED OFF alicorn filly.
>"WHO TURNED ME INTO A FUCKING HORSE?"
>Angry godhorse proceeds to curse the shit out of things
>>25712504
Fuck your gay terribly thought out OC.
WE OLD GODS NAO

>Thor innaquestria
>Throws lightning and thunder around
>Horses keep flying around and stealing it before it hits
>TFW can't smite anything

>Zeus innaquestria
>Original horsefucker

>Ra innaquestria
>Second sun now in the sky
>Celestia and Ra fight over who has the better sun

>Emprah innaquestria
>Distrusts nonhumans
>Only human is Anon
>Is HUGE

>>25684528
bump

>>25712545
>Be Thor
>Be throwing thunder and inspiring heroes for eons to come!
>What's this?
>Small forms seem to catch your lightining and send it back into the clouds
>Flying down with your godly self you ask what the hel are they doing.
>Little Equines flee in terror, wonder if they are Loki's grandchildren for a moment before persuing.
>After a merry chase through many a cloud you cra- ahem burst through intentionally the solid mass of clouds which reveal a city scape filled with more of these equines.
>Oh look they have warriors as well.
>HA HA!
>They wish to join in glorious combat!
>Hammer whistling at your side you grin as it glows the blue of lightning and thunder.
>The ponies stop and we both wait
>The tension is high.
>Mjlionr is ready.
>Suddenly the ponies move!
>You throw your hammer
>It misses and you get ready to take the blow with godly endurance.
>Only instead of a blow you are soon covered with clouds?
>Moving your arms through the downy softness you marvel at the thickness of it, around you pegasi streak through the air.
>You pull the clouds off one after the other yet the ponies are many and you are only one god.
>Your face is soon covered in the cool relaxing clouds and you half tempted to rest right there.
>By your father this feels divine...
>A whistling however catches your ear.

>Be Spits of Fire, and damn that weird alien colt thingy took alot of cloud cover to subdue.
>You weren't sure what he had planned, but considering he rammed through the goodwill store he couldn't be up to any good.
>Wait.
>There's some kind of whi-
>"Hit the deck!"
>Sticking to basic, you eat cloud as something HEAVY flies over head.
>A smack echoes in the sky as you look up to see those hoof spiders grasping the handle of the hammer he threw.
>Uhoh
>Thunder booms and the clouds are ripped away as lightning crackles off his form.
>"Haha! Tis a good battle Equines let us join once more in valor!"
Thoughts?

>>25712714
Amazing this is gonna be good

>>25712714
yuss

>>25712714
>Shooting forward you attempt one of your favorite tricks.
>This gets all the colts hard.

>Be Thor watching as a yellow and orange pony rush at you with full speed.
>Finally a challenger!
>Sprinting forward you use both hands on your hilt
>You swing and whiff it.
>Hard.
>Grinding your teeth you see the equine come around and suddenly there are flames, everywhere!
>Holding your breath against the embers you burst free.
>Smelling burnt godly hair you narrow your eyes at the equine.
"Hark are you dragon or equine?"
>"I'm a pegasis you silly colt! Now are you going to calm down or is Mama gonna have to take you to bed?"
"Ha! Thou jest if thy think I shall be put to bed as a coddled infant!"
>Nodding to your other bolts you quickly shout, "Now!"
>You all dog pile upon the colt chest tufts at full fluff and wings puffed up.
>[Muffled Godly Struggles]

>You had thought they meant to tackle you down and steal your hammer, so many monsters tend to do that for one reason or another....
>However they seem to just be snuggling up to your armor and the weight of each one upon your body dulls your mind.
>You can't swing without hitting yourself.
>Slowly your battle rage subsets and in its wake is exhaustion with a need for sleep...
>Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to rest...
>They are rather comfortable.
>By Odin, if father ever found out about this...

>Meanwhile in Asgard.
>"Odin dearest, why did you send Thor off to that realm of Equinus?"
"Simple my dear, that little shit needs to learn to respect his brother, so what better way than living amongst his brothers grand children?"
>"I still can't beileve that Loki went and had Slephnirr like that, what ever was he thinking?"
"Ah he's a fey lad it's true, but at least he is not like our cousin in the south lands. That bastard tries to fornicate with anything that has a pulse."
>"Odin please."
"Hey I'm just saying it's in the family."

>>25712842
HA! Must have more.

>>25711724
>deadbeat mom Cadence

Wasn't that written by someone else?

Shining has a gambling problem: he uses a shocked Cadence as collateral when Anon somehow wins.

...And he loses.

The thing is? Anon thought he was joking.

So now he has a rather disgruntled Princess as a wife.

...He just wants to crawl back to his shack in Ponyville with a bottle of AJDaniels.

Unfortunately, Cadence is beginning to warm up to him.

Welp.

>>25712842
>You awaken with a start.
>Bringing a hand to your head you prepare for the post morning hang over...
>What's this?
>Your not hung over?
>So strange.
>You stand and find that your armor has been divested!
>Fiends!
>Calling to Mjlonr you hear a shout of surprise.
>Walls crumble inwards and with an audible smack your hammer is back in hand.
"Ah glad to be whole once more."
>"Stop!"
>Turning towards the whole you find that you had been in a rather nice and opulent room, until you called Mjlonr that is.
>Oh its another one of the equines again.
>This one is dark blue with wings and a horn.
"Pray tell why should I stop? When thy compatriots accosted me?"
>"Thou speaketh in the old tongue?"
"Verily young maiden, where am I?"
>"Thou art in our castle of Canterlot, capital of Equestria."
>You hold your composure, it is not kind to laugh at a host...
>You still snicker though.
>"Thou divines something humorous ?"
"Tis the realm of Equinus is it not? Home of the spawn of Slephnirr?"
>"How dost thou know that name?"
>You spread your arms out with a grin.
"I know because thous art my grand niece! Come to thy grand uncle!"
>"Wut?"
>Before the blue one can respond you already have her in a bear hug.
>Rapid tapping upon your back draws your attention to see your grand niece turning a lovely shade of purple.
>Releasing her you let out a hearty laugh.
"Hah, now tell me grand niece how fairs your lands? By chance dost thou know of the mare of yellow and orange, she lead the band of warriors against me upon my arrival. I would commend her for her valor and...unorthodox tactics."
>Looking down at the mare you find her cheeks puffed out and looking a mite upset.
>"Wait a moment, w-who art thou first? We wish to know our grand uncle more if that is what thou claims."
"Why I am Thor, bringing of thunder, lighting and god of valor in battle! Wielder of the mighty Mjlonr! And you my grand niece what art thou called?"

>>25712842
>Ponies are the descendants of Sleipnir.
New headcanon accepted.

>>25713014
>Be the night!
>This colt claims to be your grand uncle!
>That's just silly, he doesn't even look like a normal colt.
>Of course your father was an eight legged stallion...
>And he did mention the true name of the realm...
>None the less you had best make a good impression!
>Don't buck this up girl, can't have your family seeing your alfalfa!
>You clear your throat and step back throwing your wings out with your chest puffed up tall.
"We are the Princess of Equestria, Luna, ruler of the Night Court and co-ruler with our Sister Celestia of the Day Court. Together we have ruled over our lands for millennial safe guarding it against those who would bring ruin to it. We greet you Grand Uncle Thor, tell us why have you entered the realm and cause such distress upon our subjects?"
>"Oh."
>Oh? That's all he had to say about the countless reconstruction costs you're going to need to slog through!?
"Pray tell that thou did not merely think that this level of destruction is acceptable Grand Uncle?!"
>"Hark young Luna, tis not our fault, I was simply doing my duty as God of thunder bringing the storm to the sky for warriors to test their courage against."
"Grand Uncle, please, our pegasi are more than capable of handling storms be they big or small."
>"What folly is this now? You would give mortals the power of the storm? Surely that is unwise."
>You scrunch your muzzle in distaste.
>Thiscolt.tapestry
"Now see here Grand Uncle, our ponies have been blessed with their abilities, they have done this for countless years now and there has been no trouble."
>"None? Then what of raiders? Me- ahem, ponies with no scruples that they would wish to pillage and raid upon others?"
"That has been a long time ago when that occurred Grand Uncle."
>"Then how does a man show his valor in battle?!"
"Man? You mean a stallion? Grand Uncle we don't allow our stallions into battle twould be the greatest folly to ever undertake!"
>Was that a rumble of thunder?

>>25713087
Kek

>>25713087
>In a low rumble of his voice grand uncle asks, "Then who are your warriors, the ones to defend your homesteads when the wolves come howling to the doors?"
"Mares of course, who else Grand Uncle?"
>Thunder claps again in the distance.
"Grand Uncle?"
>"So then the warrior who led the band against me, pray tell would he have been a she instead?"
>The one wh- oh!
>Nodding you watch your grand uncle hoping he's not ready to have one of his 'stallion' fits that Celestia had always warned you about.
>Times sure have changed in the past thousand years...
>How you miss the olden days...
"Verily Grand Uncle, Wonderbolt Spitfire is one of our best."
>The darkened mood suddenly evaporates then as Grand Uncle throws his head back and bellows out in laughter.
>"Then we shall hold a feast! Proper to celebrate the valor of young Spitfire then for besting me! I would drink with her and her companions, come grand niece let us make merry!"
"Bwha?"
>Where's the tears?
>Where is the demands for ice cream sundeas?
>...Oh buck if Celestia lied to you about the culture change, again, there will be Tarterous to pay.
"Very well Grand Uncle, come let us make for the grand hall, hopefully through the door ways this time hm?"
>Turning to regard the god you see him beam at you.
>"If your buildings were built like in Asgard they would not be so fragile Grand Niece you should come to visit sometime, twould be grand I believe."
>You guess some things about stallions is still true, no sense of property damage then or now.
"Right this way then Grand Uncle."

This took off way longer than I had thought, what new wonders will Thor bring to Equestria, will Luna be keked by culture standards? Will Spitfire get a taste of the thunder from down under?Well Anon ever finish a story instead of fucking off when he gets bored?

>>25713144
I pry the yes to all the good things