Let's say you get to Equestria. Do you have a shot in hell

After over 1000 years of trying out different dicks, I bet Celestia would at least let me try and fuck her, just for something different.

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Plan B: Rape

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>>25607705
Very doubtful. I don't think I'd even be able to speak directly to Princess Luna at any point in time.

My only chance is if she's still acting autistic and is accepting of contact from anypony at all. She's definitively the kind of mare who likes weird shit, so hopefully I'd be weird enough to get her attention. Also, I'm nocturnal, so that puts me in a good position. I'd be fucked if I wasn't even up at the same time as her.

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yes
maybe
yes
yes

> Getting date with your waifu?
Doubt it.
> Would she want someone like you?
No, everyone is better off without me.
> a human?
Even if I was a pony I'd be fucked
> Would she ask you ot change and ycould you do it

She would ask me to change, I am certain of that. I am not sure if I would be capable of it.


I alreadly was in 2 failed relationships, I sank too many boats and broke hearths, I don't want to do it the second time. Sorry, Maud.

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>>25607705
Yes, Im confident. and confidence is what im going to need if i want to catch the eye of a pony like rainbow dash

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>>25607737
>>25607773
The princesses have been around for over a thousand years. We don't know much about their lovelives, but I'm willing to bet that since they aren't married by now, they avoid getting involved in long-term romantic relationships except between themselves probably because they will outlive their partner. You might get to sleep with her if you make a name for yourself since you're the ambassador of Earth.
I'm in the opposite situation. She's not the absolute ruler of Equestria so getting a date would be far easier, and the chance of us falling in love is there.

>>25607865

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>>25607705
God no. I am a jaded, hateful fuck who wants to be left alone in a very quiet place that no one could ever find. I just love Ponko because she is everything I cannot be.

>>25608343
Pinkie would do everything she could to be your friend.

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>>25607705
We're all equa- GET IN THE FUCKING TIMELINE

>>25608374
I know she would, which just makes me so much sadder.

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>>25607705
>a human?
No idea if she'd consider a human. I doubt cross species is a problem in Equestria, and being all about making new friends I think think she would be opposed. All hear say though, so for the rest let's assume she's fine with not monkey dick.

>Getting date with your waifu?
Yeah I think I could get a date. I'm decently /fit/, I have a good social life, have always done well with girls, I'm not an sperglord in public (well I can be, but only in situations where it's acceptable. Certain friend groups, etc...), and our personalities I think would mesh well (cont. below). My issues are not broadcast, keeping them to myself I've never really allowed them to mess with a friendship or relationship or especially meeting someone for the first time.

>Would she want someone like you?
I'd imagine. I'm well read in fiction and non-fiction, almost done with my major while taking some extra classes cause I genuinely enjoy it. I think we would have a lot to talk about.

>Would she ask you to change and could you do it?
Depends, not really sure how she might ask. I could be a little more forgiving or sympathetic. Think a little before I speak. If it's something I could actually work on, yeah. If it's more my personality, no. We might just be friends.
After some crying.

>>25608343
Same.
I love her since she is all I'm not.
...
...
I will probably end up rape by celestia then toyed around by luna

>>25608591
>Actually writing an essay on if he would be considered by fantasy ponies

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>>25607705
>Do you have a shot in hell of getting a date with your waifu (Fluttershy)?
I believe I would have a very good chance. My normal demeanor is pretty kind and open so I think she would be very accepting of that.
>Would she even want someone like you?
I think she would definitely want someone like me. Someone who is kind but prefers to be away from most people but can still function in society.
>A human?
If the chemistry truly is there , my species wouldn't matter to her.
>Would she ask you to change, and could you do it?
I doubt she would. I bet that what differences we have would be what makes each other interesting. But if she would ask me to change, I would try my best within reason.

Gimme dem cuddlies Flutters. :3

From what I saw it doesn't appear that Applejack is interested in any romantic relationships so I'm probably fucked no matter how helpful on the farm I am or how /fit/ I am.

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>>25609341
Appropriate, considering who his waifu is.

ITT: autism

>>25608343
Dam nigga, are you me?

>>25609789
Every thread on /mlp/ is autism.

>>25609777
Checked

>>25609777
What is this, a reaction image for Breezies?

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My narcissism is both unmatched and entirely justified. I'm pretty fucking fantastic.

I'm the type of person that social rejects gravitate to because they know I won't hurt them. Getting passed her apprehension and other emotional obstacles will be effortless.

My hands can make a woman purr just as easily as a cat.

Really, no fucking challenge.

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>>25607705
Possibly. I can play several instruments that are hard or impossible to play with hooves, (trumpet, french horn, trombone, piano, and steel drum) so I might have my foot in the door at least.

>>25610824
>happy face
>butt
>socks
>the correct fucking eye color

10/10 you justified my arrival at /mlp/ today.

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>>25607705
No. I'll just get enough money to buy a descreet pegasi pony prostitute and pretend that it's her every Friday.

I'm not delusional like you chucklefucks.

>>25610889
We're not all undatable weirdos. I can restrain my autism and initiate social interactions if need be.

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Considering Toilet fell in crush with a human, I don't think the species gap really matters all that much.

That said, there's still the matter of personality. Considering I'm a lot like Maud in the sense that I don't emote goodly, I'd say THAT's not an issue either.

I don't know if she'd want me to change. I probably wouldn't, but who knows?

>>25607705
I don't think any of them would be in a rush to fuck a weird alien.

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>>25610915
>I can restrain my autism and initiate social interactions if need be.
Some anons can. That's not the point. I doubt any pony would want to bed a biped.

Ponies distrusted Zecora at one point and some still harbor resentment towards Discord.

You don't see ponies with minotaurs. So it's obviously taboo. If you truly loved your waifu, you'd avoid any possiblity of drama.

What chance does an ayy lmao have? If they give me special status because I'm an alien, asking for a concierge will be awkward at best and infamy would make a discreet visit harder.

So, I would prefer to increase my chances by using the ultimate motivator. Money.

>>25611098
But if you're rich enough, then you wouldn't even need a prostitute. Mares would be lining up for you.

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>>25607705

Rarity: No chance.
Cup Cake: Happily married. No chance.
Mayor Mare: Not married and not dating. Might appreciate the attention even if it is from another species. Better than average chance.

Bingo. Got a waifu.

If all the greentext stories I've read have taught me anything, it's that even if I screw up, everything will work out in the end, due to being exotic, fingers, stamina, salty sweat, and hot monkey dick.