>"Hey anon, I finally finish your biography!" >"Isn't

>>25460066
No.

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>>25460066
Both pages?

>>25460066
This is the story about the grand life of Anon Y. Mous.

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>>25460066
>>25460094
I realized that my biography to this point wouldn't be longer than literal two A5 pages. Maybe two A4 if you'd try to describe everytime I got depressed.

>>25460066
Did you hit your head Twilight?

>>25460066
"okay"
>you grab the pages
"ready twi?"
>"she grabs her covers
>"ready"
"alright. ejem..... there's was a boy named anon"
>she smiles
"he was ugly as fuck"
>she stops smiling"
"he was a loser without trying. he lived alone on a daily basis of porn and junk food"
>"i don't like the story"
"fuck you, let me finish. one day he woke up, and realize he did nothing with his life. decide to do an hero by going to postal, and die while leaving a lot of suffering behind"
>she was scare
"now his husk of a soul ends up in ponyland, and the day he resurrects, he will be more wished dead than hitler, stalin, and mao together. good night"
>"anon, can you-"
"isaidgoodnight!
>and you leave the room

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>>25460159
>"C'mon anon, respect the double dubs"

>>25460066
Fine fine.......
>You then grab the book from Twilight.
>She then snuggles herself in her bed.
>You then begin to read.
>It seems about accurate.
>Only one or two flaws here and there.
>Seems interesting.....
>Til you get to the end.
>You begin to read the ending.
Anon was busy with his internet studies until his friend Twilight decided to tell him that his biography was finished.
After reading it intensely in his sexy voice Twilight decided to "play" with herself.
She enjoyed herself while listening to your wonderful voice.
She couldn't take it anymore.
Only clopping to Anon when she could do the real thing.
It was then she-
>It was then threw you onto her bed.
>She then threw herself on top of you.
>She then leaned close to your ear.
>She whispers.
>"Fuck me anon."

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>>25460174
>Lyra peeks from the bush outside
>"That was amazing!"

>>25460066
No thanks, Engrish Sparkle.

>>25460223
Don't stop.

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>your autobiography is 2 pages of binder paper with FAGGOT scribbled everywhere and stuck together with cum and spaghetti sauce

>>25460266
Sorry sir but that is where I'm stopping.
If someone want to continue it, be my guest.

>>25460066
Bumping for potential.

>>25460066

>ok here goes,
"Once upon a time in the magical land of Equestria, a green alien arrived, he tried to do many things, but he didnt failed in everything, he spent the last of his years in a computer until he became one with equestrian manure"
>the end

>>25460399

>but he failed in everything

fug

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>>25460066
>"I listed all your accomplishments both on your home world and in Equestria."
"It's just a blank piece of paper."
>"So what's your point?"

>>25460453
"I prepared my personal list of reasons to live, Sparkle."
>"It's another blank piece of paper."
"Exactly."

>>25460223
I hope someone does continue this.

>>25460411
EVERYTHING!

>>25460223
>>25460266
>>25460533

This inspired me just a bit. I might rewrite it from the begging if the original author doesn't mind.

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>>25460066
"Sure lets see it."
>You open the pages and its literally just 800 pages of screaming.
"Seems about right."

>>25460579
Don't mind at all.

>>25460579
Bumping.
I want to see the shit that comes from this guy.

Might be better than the other guy.

>>25460246
It's not really Twilight. A changeling has written your biography in disjointed, pseudo-English.

>>25460579
Are you typing it?

>>25460066
Can you repeat that again, but in English this time?

>>25460094
you did enough to make 2 pages? I wouldn't go past the first page.

>>25460977
In that case, acceptable.

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>>25460066
>god damn
>she really did write a full bio on you, and what you could tell her of your world
>shit was hefty
>she expects you to read all this to her?
>she wrote the fucking thing for god's sake
"...Kay."
>better idea
>open book
"Once upon a time there was an ugly monkey. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end."
>...
>*sniff* "That wasn't what I wrote at all..."
>well fuck, you made her sad now
>dammit, Anon, stop being such a jerk. she really does care for you
>and like it or not, you really do care for her
>you sigh, before crawling into bed beside her, holding her close
>she gives a small smile, hugging you back and nuzzling into your chest
>you're both quickly drifting off in warmth and cuddles
>"Love you, Anon." she says, sleepily closing her eyes
"...Love you too, Twi."


I ain't even trying.

>>25461075
Shit, I got piss drunk a few minutes after typing this. If it's still alive after I wake up, I'll start.

Bum pan

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>>25460066
>She really did it
"Uh...s-sure...give me the papers..."
>You start reading it to set the tone right (but also to prepare yourself)
>After a bit you raise your head
"Uh...Twi?"
>"Yes?"
"This here...it states I saved you from drowning"
>"I know!"
"And that I helped you discover a new spell!"
>"Ah, that's my favorite part!"
"Not to mention the fact you 'painted' me like some kind of classy, well mannered gentleman..."
>"Oh, I tried to be very faithful to the facts."
"But that's the point! I'm not like that! I... never saved you from drowning, I just held you once, at the pond! I've never helped you discover a new spell, I just made a mess with your books, which casually helped you! And I'm certainly not a-a classy gentleman! I'm lazy, fat, kinda dirty, I ogle at your plot every t-"
>All of a sudden she places her hoof on your mouth
>"Shhhh"
"..."
>"It's ok, anon."
"B-but..."
>"It doesn't matter what you think you did. For me, that's what happened...and that's what really matters, in my eyes."
"..."
>"...now, be a dear and read me this story, will you?"

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>>25465884

>>25465884
do you think im a fool?...
>twilight looks at you with a saddened expression
>"what are you talking about anonymous?"
"you said i saved you, helped you complete work, and you say im a handsome gentleman? only one pony would come up with a cheesy romance like that!"
>"A-anon dear what!"
>anon grabs twilight's face ripping it clean off
>she screams a girly scream and covers her face
>"why dont you believe me anon?"
>you stand next to the bed holding the face of your waifu.
"because you're a slut rarity. now get out of my house."
>"ugh, i wold have gotten away with it if you werent such a smart monkey. or just a dumb kid!"

>scooby doo theme starts playing

>>25466107
aw man, I was hyped

>>25466153
I'm sincerely offended you're mistaking me for some anon with such terrible grammar.

Anyway, it was a self-contained green

>>25466221
^:)

>>25466221
I'm clueless almost all the time

>>25460066
Well get ready for the nightmares!

>>25463401
I'm no longer unconscious.

>It's a peaceful night in Ponyville.
>Summer is is full force, and the temperature is at just the right mark.
>Nights like this are always nice; just you and your thoughts as you browse through the massive library of the local castle.
>A castle you just so happen to live at.
>It doesn't fit the atmosphere of the town as much as Twilight's library did, but it has some benefits.
>Like this massive room full of books.
>The size also makes it pretty easy for you and the guys to get drunk off your asses without being noticed by the purple princess who owns it.
>However, not a day goes by where you aren't thankful that Twilight lets you live here.
>Especially since a custom made home for someone of your size costs a fortune.
>After nearly two years here though, you're close to having that money saved up.
>Through the doorway, you begin to notice the faint sounds of rapid hoofsteps.
>They begin to get louder, and you realize that they're coming towards you.
>The doors to the room swing open with a loud thud, sending a heavy breeze against you.
>Recovering from the sudden disturbance, you see Twilight herself standing in the doorway, panting with the biggest grin on her face.
>Curious, you speak.
"What's got you so excited, purple?"
>The mare excitedly skips in place.
>"I did it! It's finished!"
>You arch an eyebrow.
"Finished what, exactly?"
>With a bright flash, a book pops into existence, held afloat by Twilight's magic.
>"I finished your biography!"
>Oh, right. You completely forgot that she's been working on that.
>It began sometime about a year and a half ago.
>Ever since you had gotten here, almost every other day was spent telling the purple pony about yourself and your life.
>The routine continued for a few months on end, until one day.
>Twilight had come to you with a question. She wanted your permission to write a book about your life.

>>25466917

I'll continue in a bit if anyone wants. This is just a down payment for later.

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>>25465884
Thanks anon

>>25466917

>Many thing ran through your mind when she had asked that.
>You thought it was a waste of time, but apparently she didn't.
>Normally, you would have just said no and left it at that; but there was just something about her enthusiasm.
>It was cute in a way. Admitting something like that to yourself back then was pretty hard to do, too.
>You've grown to live with thoughts like that now, though. This place has made you soft, in a way.
>Needless to say, you let her do it.
>From that day forward you were her source of information for the book, as well as her proofreader.
>Surprisingly, she didn't even exaggerate anything you told her about.
>Yet somehow she managed to make you sound like the most interesting man in the world.
>Admittedly, you liked the chapter where you managed to get her and the girls out of a trap set up by some equality cult by pretending to be some drunk who didn't know what was going on.
>And you were drunk almost all the time, so they had a hard time telling if you actually were.
>You shake your head back to the present.
"Well, that's great! Did you want me to read through it for you?"
>The alicorn nodded, still wearing a huge grin.
>"I'd love it if you did, Anon!"
>You grab the book out of the air, and set it down on a nearby table.
"Alright, I'll get to it in about an hour once I'm done here."
>Your friend's face drops a bit.
>"An hour? I was kind of hoping you could read it sooner..."
"What's up? It's not like you have a publishing date or anything."
>The mare fidgets for a moment or two before responding.
>"I'm just so excited that it's finally done! I really want to see what you think of it."
>You can't help but notice an almost literal twinkle in her eyes as she looks at you, smile quickly returning.
>Yet again, you give in and relent.
"OKay, okay, I'll do it now."
>Twilight lets out a small squeel of excitement and claps her hooves together while you pick the book back up.

>>25469352
>Sitting down, you crack the book open to the place you left off at about a month or two ago.
>Silently, you start to read.
>It isn't long before the sound of Twilight's voice interrupts your flow.
>"Anon?"
>You raise your gaze from the book.
"Hm?"
>She stammers a bit before speaking again.
>"I was wondering if you could... well... read it to me?"
>You really don't like reading out loud. That's one of the many things you wondered how mothers and schoolteachers could stand to do.
>This isn't how the proof reading process usually goes, either.
>Oh well, it's not too big big a deal. The chapter doesn't look like it will take too long to go through.
>For the second time, you read.
"Anonymous walked down the large halls of-"
>"Hold on a second, can we relocate?"
>Relocate?
"Where did you have in mind?"
>The pony spoke nervously.
>"I was thinking we could go to my room?"
>Good enough for you.
"Alright, let's-"
>"And you could read it to me while I'm in bed?"
>...
>"...'Kay."

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>>25465884
I think I felt my heart melt it was so sweet and nice.

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>>25460066

>You take a skim through the first few pages as well as the last.
>It was in fact, your entire life, including what you've done in Equestria up until this very point.
"Hold on."
>You reach into your wallet and pull out a folded piece of paper.
>You hand it too her, and she unfolds it with her magic, pausing to understand what's on it.
>"Anon, who's this?"
>You look up to the ceiling.
"He was the kind of guy who would have everyone around him be happy, yeah sure he may have been a little rude or loud but he made everyone happy."
>"Like Pinkie?"
>Heh.
"Yeah, a lot like Pinkie, but he was more like me."
>"Why is that, Anon?"
"Because he would be the only one not truly smiling every-time he told a joke.

>tfw your biography wouldn't be more than a page.

>>25469752
You're a good man anon