>"You're under arrest! Get on the fucking ground,

>>25432889
SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED

GET A WARRANT YOU CUTE FUCK

>>25432889
>you open the door
>this pony tells you to get on the floor

wat do?

>>25432904
Do the dinosaur, of course

>>25432904
I know where you want this to go.

>open the door
>hear her shouting to get on the floor
>tell her to chill and cut back on the cursing
>ask what the deal is
>ask to see a warrant
>if nothing is provided, close door
>resume day

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>>25432889
He's mine you horse fuck

>>25432933
They need a warrant to enter your demesne if you are just under suspicion of something, they don't need a warrant if they're actively in the process of arresting you

>>25432904
EVERYBODY WALK THE DINOSAUR

>>25432948
How do you know? Equestrian laws might be different. Either way, ask to see Celestia if it comes down to it.

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Oh I'm sorry I thought this was America. Is this America?

>>25432889

>You are Anonymous.
>You are the only human in Equestria.
>You have just been told you are under arrest.
>You glance down at the tiny blue horse yelling and cursing at you.
"Oh my gosh you are just PRECIOUS. What am I under arrest for, officer? Serial booping? If so, guilty as charged!"
>You boop her on the nose.
>She FUCKING BITES YOUR HAND, HOLY FUCK.
>She then body checks your legs out from under you.
>You groan as she shoves you backwards onto the ground.
>Your head spins as she slams her hoof into the side of your head.
>She then kicks you a few times in the ribs.
>Wow
>What a woman.
"Mr. Anonymous, you have the right to remain silent. You are to be escorted to the royal dungeon immediately to await trial before Her Royal Highness, Princess Celestia."
>As she speaks, she takes your arms behind your back and snaps a pair of handcuffs around your wrists.
>You catch your breath and try to question her.
"Wha... Wait, What'd I do? What am I being tried wi-"
>She slams your face into the ground, hard.
"Shut it, dirtbag! If I wasn't a cop you wouldn't even be able to speak right now. Scum like you just make me sick."
>Satisfied your cuffs are secure, she pulls you up by the wrists and props you on your knees, letting you get up to your shaky feet.

Should I do more?

>>25432889
I want to give this horse non-consensual cuddles and go to pony jail.

>>25432889
ALLAHU AKBAR

>>25434466
Do it faget.

>>25434466
Wow polices are so racist

>>25434466
It'd be better if the pone cop was too weak to restrain Anon, but he goes along with it since she's "precious."

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>>25434466
>writing a story where this fucking mini horse is able to over power anon

>>25432889
>uses grappling hook to evade.
>becomes wanted

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>>25432889
>"The fuck're you supposed to be, unarmed faggot response?"
>'D-down on the ground, scumbag!'

>>25432889
Am I being detained?!

>>25432889
I DO NOT CONSENT TO ANY SEARCHES

>>25434466
I would like it more if anon keeps talking about how cute she is regardless the pain

>>25432889
I dont mind the little blue horse "exercising her authority" on me if it leads to lots and lots of tsundere cuddles and belly rubs

>>25434571

>Biting
>Tripping
>Kicking in the head

Seems reasonable to me.

>>25434466

>You wobble woozily on your way.
>The police pony encourages you to walk faster
>She does this by headbutting you in the ass, making you stumble forward.
"Hurry up, you degenerate. You just have to sit in a cozy cell, I'm the one who has to file out a report."
>Ok, this is ridiculous.
>You stop.
>The police pony butts you again, but you don't move.
"What's the big idea here?"
>You look down at the tiny blue equine.
"I want your name and badge number."
>She looks aghast.
>She scrunches her face up adorably.
"My name is Blue Fuzz, not that it's any of your business, perp."
>You raise an eyebrow.
"And your badge number?"
>She shuffles her feet.
"I... Uh... We don't have those in Canterlot!"
>You raise your eyebrow further.
"Canterlot? But this is Ponyville. Aren't you a bit outside your jurisdiction?"
>She grits her teeth.
"You have the right to remain silent! Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law!"
>You smirk down at her.
"I choose to waive that right. And this right."
>You wave your right hand.
>She looks flabbergasted.
"H-How did you get those cuffs off?! Nopony can break out of those!"
>You wiggle your fingers.
"As you can see, I'm clearly no pony. And I'm not going to the dungeon either. See you around, Fuzzball."
>You slip your hands in your pockets and turn around to walk away.

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>>25434777

>>25434861
>Blue Fuzz turns out to just be a normal civillian mare hoping you would roleplay with her

>>25432889
no u

>>25434861

"Freeze, dirtbag!"
>Blue Fuzz slams into the back of your legs.
>You stumble a bit but stay standing.
>You turn around.
>She glowers up at you.
"You have one chance to surrender before I add 'resisting arrest' to your warrant, Anonymous!"
>You bend down to look her in the eye.
>You reach out, your hands brushing across her sides.
>You stand, picking her up and holding her beneath her forelegs at arm's length.
>She flails around, trying to squirm out of your grasp.
"Unhand me at once, criminal scum! I am an officer of the law!"
>You start bouncing her up and down and side to side, making her body dance to some unheard rhythm.
"Gah! This is an affront to justice! This is an embarrassment to law and order!"
>You flip her upside down, her hat falling off and her legs instinctively curling, as if trying to run on the air.
"Gah, My hat! I need that! It's part of my official uniform!"
>She looks genuinely upset all of a sudden.
>Lip curling, arm flailing towards the ground upset.
>You flip her back upright and stow her under one arm, kneeling down to retrieve her hat.
>You set her on the ground gently and plop the hat back onto her head, mussing up her mane.
>She quickly adjusts the hat and scrunches her face up at you.
"Don't think giving me my hat back gets you off the hook, dirtbag. Resisting arrest, assaulting an officer, seems like your rap sheet is growing longer by the minute!"
"Oh really? And just what was the original charge upon which you insisted I had to go to the royal dungeon?"
"It was... uh... It was... a very serious accusation!"
>You cock an eyebrow.
"I'm sure it was."
>She looks back and forth, seeming to panic.
"It was! It was... Uh... A top secret... Royal... Declaration. You were to be taken in for secret crimes against the crown!"
>You tilt your head.
"Secret royal crimes?"
>She nods, enthusiastically.
>You turn and start to walk away.

Who's the equivalent of blacks in equestria. Wonder if the equestrian police shoot them alot.

>>25435126
Zebras
ANd they dont because guns dont exist, not everypony has access to offensivemagic, and Zebras keep to themselves.

I'm going to have to bounce for the evening, but if you keep this thread alive I'll be back tomorrow morning with more story that probably won't involve skeletons.[/spoiler

>>25435148
ok, thanks writefag
this is cute

>>25435144
>guns don't exist
>what is the Party Cannon

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>"Anon is no laughing matters my fellow citizens. He is capable of horrible things."

>>25432889
I'm not guilty by reason of insanity!

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Alright officer, just let me put on my coooool face.

boop

>>25432889
HOW IS SHE WEARING THAT BADGE
SHE'S NOT WEARING CLOTHES
WHERE DOES IT PIN IN

that hurts to think about

>>25435092
this is cute

AM I BEING DETAINED?

AM I FREE TO GO?

>>25436150
It's just a sticker.

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>>25436377
That's... Still painful, think about the fur.

>>25432889
AM I BEING DETAINED???

>>25437359
no

>>25438222
Trips don't lie

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>>25432889
I DINDU NUFFIN

>>25432889
you can't prove anything

>>25432889
You kiss your mother with that mouth, sweetheart?

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>>25438465
damn this is gif!
>1:30am completely lose my shit
>tip macbook off bed
>wake house mate
>continue to laugh whilst facing angry housemate

>>25432889
Sure thing officer :)

>>25439297
>using Apple

Literally? What's with all the police threads? I see it on /b/ and now on /mlp/. Is there something I'm not getting?

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SHOW HANDS MOTHERFUCKER

>>25439332
Well...what other brand would best background pony use?

>>25439332
well he did post applejack

>>25435092
I think she's just lonely.

>>25432948
>arrest warrant
>Warrant for arrest
>The term "Fleeing under warrant

lrn2law

>>25439504
>implying Burgerland

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>>25439567

>>25432889
*sigh* It's about the peanut butter again, isn't it?

>>25439655
Anon you got it everywhere. I am still finding it inside my mattress.

>>25439567
our legal system is one of the best out there really, along with our constitution

sure nothing gets done in a timely manner, but people model themselves after amerigoy

>>25432889
what is this qt's name?

Need more green!

>>25435218
>what is the Party Cannon
Ponk's, and therefore exempt from the norm.

>>25439567

Doesn't burger-dystopia have arrest warrants and an entire police culture that excuses any sort of resistance from an accused person? Even if the accused ends up dead for no good reason?

>>25440573

What about Rainbow Dash referencing a bullet in her Find a Pet song?

>>25432904
Open the floor and jump into the abyss.

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>>25432889
SANS
LINGUA
FRANCA
You can't stop the meme magic, little pony. WWIII will happen.

>>25440603
Ammunition for slings are called "bullets", and are the origin of the term. Half-pound lead projectiles can fuck shit up.

>>25439700
>>25439700
>>25439700

>>25439700
I vote for "Fucking Pig", "Oink-oink", or "Law Dog", personally.

>>25439700
She doesn't have one.
How about "Cherry Top" or something like that? that's slang for police if you don't know

>>25442109
Slang for police CARS, ackshyually, but that's still a good name, considering the asstat.

>>25442047
I like the sound of Law Dog, personally. We should go with that.

>>25442109
I second this.

>>25442126
Every one of those suggestions was a joke. Every single one.

>>25442171
>implying one cannot adopt what would normally be an insulting name, i.e. horsefucker

>>25442191
Meh. I really don't feel it. I'd expect something with a name like "Law Dog" to be a Diamond Dog or something.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LDFk3FHURY

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>>25442199
agreed

I like Cherry Top as a name.
Sounds cute.

>>25442223
Especially because it sounds like a pony name already, even moreso with earth ponies tending to have agricultural names. But it's not about fruit, it's about STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM.

Cherry top would have been what I named her if she was red. Could be her partner. I figure a red+ blue cop duo would make sense. MLP buddy cop movie, make it happen Hasbro.

~3 hours until I get home and continue this travesty of literature.

>>25442773
great
thanks man

>>25435092
Go on

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>>25435092
Why does it feel like Anon's dealing with a small blue fluffy and completely adorable Judge Dredd?

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>>25435092

http://strawpoll.me/6013227

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Sorry for the delay folks, had a weird, long phone conversation with my mom after I played a game of league, just one i swear, plz forgive me bby. D:

>>25435218

Cannons, party or otherwise, predate guns. Their existence don't prove guns existing. Ponk's family will probably have some descendant named Salt Peter who develops rocks that explode and refines the party cannon's design for war in the grimdark world of future Equestria.

>>25435092

"H-Hold it!"
>Blue Fuzz trots in front of you and looks up.
"You are going to come with me to the local law enforcement station, and return to Canterlot to serve time in the dungeon. Got it, buster?"
>She scrunches her face at you menacingly.
>You smile in spite of the very serious officer and terrible legal trouble you face.
>You ponder for a moment.
>You don't have anything else to do today, really.
>You sigh dramatically, slumping your shoulders in defeat.
"Alright Copper, you win. My jig is up. I guess I'll be going up the river now."
>Her face lights up light a Christmas tree.
>She hops around excitedly.
"That's right, you criminal scum. You're going downtown, and if I have my way they'll be locking you up and throwing away the key!"
>She starts running down the path into town, practically hopping with excitement.
>She turns back towards you.
"C'mon, hurry up! The station is this way!"
>You sigh and slip your hands back into your pockets, casually following her into town.

>>25432889
I'm not guilty, officer Boo

>>25444715
You forgot the name the writefag used, faget.

>>25444780
whoop
ignore previous poll
http://strawpoll.me/6013373

>>25444737
hehe, she's really adorable
crazy, but adorable

>>25432889
You know whats actually funny?

That somehow I've entered a timeline where this is allowed to happen. Normally, to avoid arrest, I simply shift into an alternate timeline where the officer and I simply don't cross paths. Lord knows I should've been arrested a million times over for my crimes, however due to the nature of this varibility surfing that really isn't under my control, I get to leave scott free.

So which brings up You.

Out of the thousands of police officers that Fate has decided to sideswipe, why are you the single outlier? What is the purpose in meeting you tiny horse officer? Has Fate decided to run dry of its blessings or is there a higher purpose in our meeting?

I will go with you, but please do not think this your doing. For you to even speak with me is a miracle within itself, if I do not like where the destination is going, I'll just sideshift again.

So, please. Lead the way. Stranger.

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>>25444989
nigga what

>>25444737
>Inb4 the main reason he is in "trouble" because it's Anon's first year anniversary being in Equestria and Celestia throws him a suprise banquet in his honor.
>Blue Fuzz didn't get the memo.
>She is just a rookie that wants to put her name out there.

>>25444715

Her name is Robert Paulson

>>25444780

I wasn't gonna say anything, but thanks m8.

>>25444737

>You follow Blue Fuzz into town.
>You follow her through town.
>You follow her around town.
>You follow her back to the center of town.
"Do you know where you're goi-"
"OF COURSE I DO."
>She glares up and down the same streets you've just walked along and past several times.
"At least, I should. The police station should be somewhere in a reasonably central location, to maximize efficiency responding to issues. But there's nothing around here but a boutique, a restaurant and a pastry shop! Doesn't this two-bit town even HAVE a police station?"
>You smirk down at the flustered officer.
"Nope."
>She scrunches her face at you again.
"And you couldn't let me know about that earlier?"
>You grin.
"Gonna add obstruction of justice to my rap sheet, officer?"
"I might!"
>She narrows her eyes up at you.
"If there's no police station, who keeps law and order around here? Who's in charge of keepin' dirtbags like you off the street?"
>You stroke your chin in thought.
"Well, the mayor is in charge of town laws and such, but for actually stopping criminals... I suppose that would be Princess Twilight's job, if it came down to it."
>Her eyes go wide.
"Th... There's a princess? Here?"
>You smirk and nod.
"In this little two-bit town. She lives over there."
>You point at the gaudy crystal tree with a building on top of it.
"I guess you'll be taking me to see her about this 'Royal Transgression' I've committed, then?"

Sadly that's all I have time for today friends. I'll make sure to be more timely updating tomorrow morning, and I only work on weekends so I'll hammer more out during the week. I am starting to have an idea where to take this that I think you'll enjoy.

>>25445075
I look forward to moar. This is delightful stuff.

>>25444989

Writing like this is why I need to save images and quotes like pic related to keep myself from never writing again because my writing is a shit.

It is fantastic. Stranger.

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razzenfrazzen picture didn't upload, fuck my life, I'm too old and too rich for this shit.

>>25445038
I like this idea.

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this is a cute pone

>>25445216
thanks neuro
this is based

>>25445075
ponybones, i swear to god, if this one ends on some skeleton shit again i will find you.

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>>25446197
>again

>>25446213
Ponybones has a tendency of including spooky scary skeletal-themed-references in his stories, also.
>I recognize that image.
Good taste.

>>25446861
Does anyone have that Applejack green?

>>25447004
http://pastebin.com/2akQmnFs

This one?

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>>25438465
HE A GOOD BOI

>>25446213
there was a great apple story where everyone was waiting for days to keep up

the ending included skeletons

oh here it is >>25447094

>>25444737
>Ponk's family will probably have some descendant named Salt Peter who develops rocks that explode and refines the party cannon's design for war in the grimdark world of future Equestria.
Stealing this idea for future EqDivided headcanon.

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>>25447478
>EqDivided

>>25432889
AM I BEING DETAINED?

night

fug :DDDD

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>>25432889
Am I being detained?

>>25451850
no

>>25446861

>Tendency

It was one time! So far.

I've written *two* greens, and only one ended in spooks. And it was hilarious.

>>25452773
>I've written *two* greens, and only one ended in spooks.
That means 50% of all your green has ended in spooks!
50% is a big percentage, that's as much as five tens! and that's a lot.

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>>25452773
your rara story also had references to anons skeleton leaving him. your name even has bones in it. i'm onto you, you spooky fucker

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Good news everyone! I finally screwed up the guts to ask out the girl I've been crushing on! And she said no!!

That means I can keep writing this garbage all week! Yaaaaay! :3

>>25453566

Pic related. Nyeh heh heh!

>>25445075

>You smirk down at the tiny police horse.
>She gulps and then scrunches up her face with determination.
"You bet I am, buster. Let's go, get a move on!"
>She starts butting her head against the back of your legs.
"Woah, easy there on the police brutality, officer. I'm going."
>The two of you walk up to the castle.
>She knocks on the large golden doors.
>No answer.
>She knocks again.
>Still nothing.
>She starts pounding on the door rapidly.
>You grin.
"May I?"
>She huffs, ceasing her assault on the entryway.
"Go ahead."
>You smile and raise a fist to knock on the door.
>Instead, you bring your fist to cup your mouth.
"PRINCESS SPARKLEBUTT, I SUMMON THEE!"
>Twilight Sparkle appears in a brilliant flash of purple light.
"Anonymous! I told you to stop calling me that!"
>You grin down at Blue Fuzz
>She looks aghast.
>Twilight looks annoyed.
>You look like a skeleton wearing a human suit, nyeh heh heh!

>>25455042
>The End.

>>25455042
>"PRINCESS SPARKLEBUTT, I SUMMON THEE!"
kek

>>25455077

Tempting. So very tempting. But no. :3

>>25455042

"Sorry Twilight, but we needed to get your attention quickly. It's a matter of national security! Isn't that right, officer?"
>You smirk down at the cop pony.
>She glares up at you before glancing at Twilight and snapping to attention.
"Ma'am, er, your highness, uh, ma'am. I have apprehended this dangerous criminal and have been informed that Ponyville falls under your jurisdiction. I wish to return with him to Canterlot for proper processing at the local police headquarters."
>Twilight blinks and raises an eyebrow, looking back and forth between the two of you.
"Dangerous criminal? Where?"
>Blue Fuzz looks at you and points.
>Twilight bursts out laughing.
"Hahaha, Seriously? Anonymous? A dangerous criminal? He might be a pretty big guy but he wouldn't hurt anypony."
>Blue Fuzz falters before scrunching her face up and stamping a hoof.
"With all due respect, Princess Twilight, I have been ordered to bring this rogue element back to Canterlot to await trial by Princess Celestia herself!"
>Twilight stops laughing and tilts her head.
"That's funny. You don't look like one of the royal guard."
>Blue Fuzz flinches, as if Twilight had struck her.
>She has that same look as when her hat fell off, like she could burst into tears.
"Uh, the Royal Guard has no authority in this matter. It's official police business!"
>Twilight and Blue Fuzz look up at you.
>You shrug and grin super awkwardly.
"Or so I'd assume. Twily, would you mind giving us a zap to Canterlot?"
>Twilight blinks.
"You WANT to go to the royal dungeon?"
"Who DOESN'T?"
>You wiggle your eyebrows.
>Twilight rolls her eyes.
"Alright Anonymous. You're going to have to find your own way home, though."
>Your vision fills with purple light.

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>>25455042
>nyeh heh heh

get outta here papyrus

>>25455316
this gonna be gud

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>>25455042

>>25432889
those are my kneecaps, my eyes are up here

Moar! Odin demands it!

I made a pastebin for this because I like it enough: http://pastebin.com/5GX5LEwG

I'm gonna go do sad solo skeleton things like >>25455758 and sleep. Sorry for not writing more but my head is full of mucus. It's terrible.

>>25456322
thanks man
rest easy

>>25456322
Drink lots of water. And take vitamin c.

bumpin

>>25457945
*Milk *Calcium and Vitamin D

>>25441497
Shut up nigga, your ass got killed by Huey of all people

>>25432889
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuIgk7T6aD0#t=3m53s

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Bumping for more green

>>25461067
>>25461073
>>25461089
kill yourself my man

>>25461067
>>25461073
>>25461089
>>25461104
>>25461117
Aw, c'mon, I like the green

>>25461135
Just let him tire himself out you goddamn newfag.

>>25461162
Looks like someone's gettin' worked up

>>25461181
Nah just friendly advice to how things usually work.

Fuck the police

>>25461185
WHILE gettin' worked up

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Outta nowhere

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FUCK THE POLICE COMIN STRAIGHT FROM THE UNDER GROUND

Are we /b/eing raided again?????????

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https://youtu.be/kxPpaDt9teI

>>25432889
KFAM
F
A
M

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My dick pays rent and my dick oays quick

MATCHES!

>>25461212
nice double digit dubs.

>>25445075
Where, might I ask, do you work that you only have to work on the weekends?

>>25461388
Is that why women only want something to do with it when its convinient for them?

>>25461578

Graveyard shift at a gas station. Friday-Saturday-Sunday. It's pretty sweet when management isn't leaving me passive aggressive notes intended for the weekday guy.

Boop

>>25463973

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>9 hour workday
>come home
>no updated

y u do dis, bones?
if i read your earlier posts correctly, you got rejected recently? sorry man

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>>25461472

>>25464917

Sorry about that, I had/have a head cold and live in Nova Scotia. Between disease, backshift hours, rejection and miserable weather I was in no state to be writing greens. Had a warm bath and some apple cider, got on top of my YouTube upload schedule and killed the fuck out of some kids as Heimerdinger, so I'mma get started on that story update now. :3

>>25455316

>You blink, stumbling a little as the ground shifts beneath your feet.
>You're in Canterlot.
>If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.
>You glance down at Blue Fuzz
>She looks a little green.
"First time teleporting? It can be pretty rough on some ponies. Here."
>You bend down and pet her back.
>She flinches away, stumbling a bit on her legs.
"Knock it off, perp! Ooh..."
>She lowers her head, looking ill.
"I... I'm fine. You should be worrying about yourself! It's a pretty hard crowd on the inside. They'll tear a nice guy like you apart."
>You smirk and kneel down, gently rubbing her neck and side.
>She seems to relent, her eyes closing as she absently nuzzles against your arm.
"You could always let me go."
>Her eyes pop open and she snaps away from your touch and back to attention.
"Not on your life, perp! I have a solemn duty to protect the people of Equestria from degenerates like you! Now get a move on! All that running around Ponyville means you're going to have to spend the night in a holding cell before I take you in to the dungeon proper."
>You snap to attention and salute.
"Sir, yes sir!"
>She narrows her eyes at you and turns sharply, leading you through Canterlot's streets.
>You approach a small, kind of run down building.
>Completely unassuming from the outside, Blue Fuzz stops at the entrance.
"Welcome to your home for the evening. The Canterlot Police Station. Let's get you inside and into a holding cell."

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Ugh, I meant to write more but my head has resumed its attempt at murdering me. I'm gonna go lie down and probably not die, but who knows.

>>25466052
just try to relax man
we'll wait

>>25465980
is Anon going to get raped?

>>25432904
Tell her that I have absolutely no drugs on me
Especially not in my ass

>>25440583
Maybe if you believe the black lives matter retards

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>"..You wanna run that by me one more time, ese'? I had something funny in my ear, coulda swore you just told me to get on the fucking ground."

>>25439369
>Stay off the dance floor Chains...

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>>25432889
Not a chance

>>25455042
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cU2JEZSrY3Q

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>>25469049
oh god, i'm dying

>>25469267
the guy who made this unfortunately only has two of these, including that one

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>>25469049
>undertale

>>25469510
>Wah wah a popular thing!

>>25469510
then why aren't you complaining about the writefags reference?

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bump

>>25469616
because people who hate or haven't played it won't get references?

>>25469616
It's only annoying when it's blatant, bobby.

>>25469049
Toriel, that semen demon. I would do unspeakable things to that ass.

>>25470480
Details of the unspeakable pretty please.

>>25471206
Crazy wild sex in many positions.

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>>25471335

>>25434571
Reminder that Applejack deapples trees in one kick.

And then does it a few hundred times

>>25470480
>>25471335
>Not Dr. Alphys
pleb

Boop

>>25465980

>You and Blue Fuzz enter the station.
>The place is a disaster.
>Papers carelessly strewn about the reception desk.
>Half-full coffee cups littered haphazardly across every available surface.
>Only one holding cell, empty, and it looks like the door doesn't even close properly.
>A small red pony wearing a police hat is sleeping with her head on her desk.
>Blue Fuzz looks unamused.
"Cherry Top! You were supposed to have this place cleaned up before I got back to Canterlot with the suspect!"
>The red pony jumps up, flailing her hooves around, scattering papers everywhere.
"Uh, Oh, jeez, sorry Blue. I just, I didn't expect you to actually bring in- uh, I mean, I didn't expect you back so soon! And with all the hours I've been working, what with the stake out and the paperwork, I haven't been sleeping too well recently, and-"
>Blue Fuzz puts a hoof to her face and sighs.
"It's fine, Cherry. Just, go home and get some rest."
>Cherry Top tilts her head.
"Are you sure, Fuzz? Normally when we bring in a perp you can't wait to do the good cop-bad cop routine!"
"Yes, Cherry, I'm sure. Just... Just go home. I'll clean this place up."
>Cherry hops up and practically bounces out the door.
"Thanks Fuzz, you're the best partner a lawpony could ask for!"
>Fuzz lowers her head and goes about scooping papers up into a pile.
"I'm the only partner you could ask for... lousy Royal Guards."
>You look around awkwardly.
"Uh... D'you... want some help cleaning up the place?"
>She snaps her head back towards you, as if remembering you're there.
>Her eyes flit between you and the ruinous station.
"Uh. Well..."
>She sighs.
"Sure. Nothing else has gone by the book this arrest, why start now?"
>She looks around.
"If you could throw those cups in the sink out back, that'd be awesome. I'll deal with these papers."
>You spend the next half hour or so cleaning up the police station.
>Seems like the place hasn't been cleaned up properly in a while, and it shows signs of serious disrepair.

>inb4 blue fuzz only arrested anon because she hasn't made an arrest in years and is in danger of her police branch shutting down

>>25473616
Or >>25445038

>>25473565
by the end of this, anon probably becames a cop

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>>25474156
anon gonna drop some justice of the emperor on the unworthy

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>>25474156
>Anon ended up in horseland with a full set of Starsky & Hutch DVDs and a Ford Torino
>It turns into a 70s cop show
Do it.

>>25474243
Bump it.

>>25473565

>You and Blue finally get the place looking somewhat presentable.
>You clap your hands together and rest them on your hips.
"Alright. What's next on the agenda, Officer?"
>Blue Fuzz looks up at you.
>You smile down at her.
>She scowls.
"Just get in your cell."
>You raise an eyebrow and shrug.
>You walk over to the tiny holding cell.
>You step inside and sit on the small cot.
>It's surprisingly plush.
"Alright. You're gonna stay there for the rest of the night, and tomorrow we'll head to the castle to serve you to Princess Celestia for trial."
"Right. Trial. For my secret crime."
>She scrunches her face up.
"That's right. You've been pretty cooperative so far, so as long as you don't try any funny business tonight, I'll put in a good word for you with the princess."
>You lie back on the cot.
"Uh huh. So what, you're going to lock me in here and head home?"
>She falters.
"Uh... well... The cell door doesn't actually lock properly. So I have to stay here and make sure you don't escape."
>You sit up.
"You're going to stay awake all night?"
>She trots over and slides the cell door closed.
>It sticks at the end, not even closing completely.
"You got it, buster. Wouldn't be the first time I've had to pull an all-nighter in the name of keeping the peace."
>You frown.
"Couldn't you ask one of the royal guard to watch me so you can get some sleep?"
>She glowers.
"Bah! No way! This is Canterlot Police business. Besides, Even if I did get one of those arrogant, know-it-all guards to watch you, you're sleeping in my be-"
>She raises a hoof to cover her mouth.
>You raise an eyebrow.
"What was tha-"
"Never you mind, perp! Now lights out!"
>She flicks the lights of the station off, leaving you in darkness.

>>25475406
Please dont stop. It's increasingly adorable.

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>>25475406
This tiny cop pony is just the cutest thing, please continue.

>>25432889
AM I BEING DETAINED!?

>>25432889
AM I BEING DETAINED???!?!?!??!!?

>>25468644

Or video evidence. Or about a century's worth of cases where the police shit on whoever they were dealing with, nignog or white, because of their own ego.

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I'm enjoying this

Should the bump army report in now or later?
I really want to see how this green is going to end.

>>25475406
I want to snuggle this tiny horse

>>25432889
AM I BEING DETAINED???

The constant "AM I BEING DETAINED?"s stopped being funny, and then eventually started being funny again.

>>25475406
some good shit man

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>>25474243
Pls, someone do this

>>25480214
Would do. But I have zero writing skills. Guess we can only hope.

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>>25474243
Either this.
Or out of nowhere he gets struck by lightning and gets bitten by a cobra

>>25480268
do it anyway
just make bad writing your thing
it will be great

Get some bump

Bamp

>>25475406
oh isnt she just precious

Late night bump

>>25481135
Because forced dialogue and half assed LA Noire/Driver plotlines are a good idea.

I could drawfag something after work though.

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Bump the jam.
Fun fact: Police are required to purchase new Kevlar vests every 3-5 years. According the the companies that make them, this is because the vests "expire" after a certain amount of time. The Police know this is bullshit, but because of back door deals and bribes to politicians from DuPont, it was signed into law that these new vests must be purchased after the old ones "expire". Your tax money at work.

>>25481821
What happens to the old ones?

>>25481821
wow
that's new
the only thing i knew about kevlars was when i was searching a college, and one of those was choosed by one of the companies to test the resistance.
they get really mad when you make a hole

>>25481899
Good question. It really depends on the department, they're usually either thrown out or they use them for target practice. The department I work with (No, not providing proof for obvious reasons) usually just throws them out. They can't really be giving out vests to civilians.

>>25482027
How much does a single basic vest cost? Is it legal for a civilian to own one?

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>>25432889
Oh officer, you scared me! Don't burst through my door like that! You could give me cardiac arrest!

>>25475406

This is beautiful Please go on.

>>25475406

>You lie on the cot in the dark.
>You roll over onto your side.
>You roll back over onto the other side.
>You sigh and sit up.
"Officer Blue Fuzz?"
>You hear a reply from the darkness outside your cell.
"What is it, perp?"
"May I have a glass of water?"
>You hear grumbling and see the flick of a flashlight turning on.
>Blue Fuzz's face is illuminated, holding the flashlight between her teeth.
>She wanders off into the back, returning after a moment with a cup full of water in her mouth, the flashlight now behind her ear.
>She enters your cell and hands you the mug.
>You accept it and drink graciously.
"Thank you."
>She takes the cup and leaves your cell.
>The flashlight turns off.
>A few minutes pass.
"Officer Blue Fuzz?"
"Yeah?"
"It's cold in this cell. Can I request a blanket?"
>She grumbles and flicks the flashlight back on.
>She disappears again before returning with a folded up black and white blanket draped over her back.
>She enters your cell and bucks the blanket onto your legs.
"Satisfactory?"
>You unfurl the blanket over yourself.
"I think so. Thanks."
"Whatever. Is there anything else you're going to request before I settle down to guard you for the night?"
>You place a hand on your chin in thought.
"Well... There is one other thing that would help me fall asleep."
>She tilts her head, the flashlight behind her ear illuminating both of your faces.
"And what's that?"
>You smirk and lean forward, your arms quickly slipping beneath her forelegs.
>You pick up the tiny lawpony.
"H-Hey! What's the big idea!"
>She squirms helplessly as you hold her in the air.
>You bring her in close to your chest, holding her still.

>>25482189
Top cute

>>25482189
Bump for updates.

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>>25482189
C U T E

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>>25482096
It's completely legal for a civilian to own any vest they want. Each police Kevlar vest costs approximately $800.

Here's another fun fact:
New York Mounted Police have 60 horses and 79 officers.

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>>25482189
>You smirk and lean forward, your arms quickly slipping beneath her forelegs.
>You pick up the tiny lawpony.
"H-Hey! What's the big idea!"
>She squirms helplessly as you hold her in the air.
>You bring her in close to your chest, holding her still.

Dats fuckin cute m8

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>>25482237
>>25482268
>>25482323

If you think that's cute, just wait until her skeleton pops out, nyeh heh heh!

>>25482189

"Wh-what are you doing, criminal scum?!"
>You lie back onto the cot, still holding Blue Fuzz against your chest.
"There. Now you don't have to stay up all night watching my cell. If I try to escape, you'll be the first to know about it."
>She scrunches her face up.
"And what am I supposed to do to stop you from escaping with you holding me like this?"
>You smirk up at her.
"What were you going to do if I had tried to escape at any point today?"
>She opens her mouth as if to speak, but her jaw just hangs as no words come out.
"That's what I thought."
>You grin and reach a hand up to boop her on the nose as you loosen your grip around her.
>She scrunches extra hard and narrows her eyes at you furiously, but the light of the flashlight betrays that she's blushing.
>You reach up behind her ear and press the button on her flashlight, hiding you both in darkness.
"Goodnight, officer."
>You lie back down, resting your head on the pillow of your cot.
>After a few minutes you feel Blue Fuzz's head rest against your chest.
>You reach up and slip your hand beneath her police hat.
>You gently scritch behind her ears and trail your fingertips down her neck.
>She nuzzles her head into your chest, relaxing her body against yours.
>The two of you gradually drift off to sleep.

>>25482368
pls put trigger warning on sp00ks

>>25482368
Nais nais veri kute, kiip koink pliis!

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>>25482368
>That spoiler
Pls ponybones no spoops

>>25482476
All the spoops!

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>>25482368
This shit just keeps getting cuter and cuter.

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>>25482368
>You'll never snuggle with a pone from equestria

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>>25482809
Why do you hurt me so?

>>25482857
>stalhelm
>Britbong in background
wat

>>25435144
>"Anon, my friend, please eat this muffin. And always remember that I dindu nuffin."

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>>25482975

>>25482975
God I want her to make a comment asking where the white stallions are in the cartoon.

>>25481821
fun fact, companies who make armor, never make "Bullet proof" vests, only bullet resistant
if they made bullet proof vests, they would be very heavy
bullet resistant is made to be light weight, but still enough armor to protect you
it's all about light weight

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>>25482368
>wake up in the middle of the night
>slip a finger under her tail
>start rubbing both her tiny ponut and tight sexy place

>>25483198
She isn't for sexual, Anon.

>>25483341
How about snuggles?

>>25483402
Snuggles are approved.

>>25483341
>Pone
>Not for sexual
>Costanza.jpg

>>25483341
what the fuck

>>25483595
Most pone is for sexual, but not her. She is for becoming spoopy with.

>>25483677
this post is pure bullshit

>>25483677
>slip a finger into police pone's butthole
>wiggle wiggle until she wakes up

>>25483719
How can you say that when there is a skeleton inside her?

Bump soldier, bump!

Bumping for justice

>>25484358

>>25483198
that's how you get charged with rape

>>25485351
Victory goes to the bold

>>25485429
No, luck favors the bold. You can still get arrested for rape and put in a cell with Bubba

>>25482950

>tfw you jumped in the wrong trench in the wrong war

>>25485593
Qui audet adipiscitur, motherfucker.

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>>25485597
>tfw get out alive to tell the tale

Bump for adorable pony police.

So the writefag gave up for today and is going to post tomorrow?

>>25486678
We can only hope that the great writefag will return.

>>25486702
And the great writefag will display his great work...
But we for now wait.
Should we write rhymes to match it and pass the time?

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Some more police facts to keep the thread bumped: All emergency services, police included, usually have an "Opticon" system that they use to change traffic lights from red to green in an emergency. Their car sends a signal to a sensor on the light (Pic related, it's on almost every traffic light ever), and it changes from red to green in about 5 seconds or so. Usssssually a lot of officers just use this whenever they want. If the light suddenly changes from red to green, and pic related starts blinking, someone's used an Opticon system to change it.

>>25486945

More police facts. Sometimes cops are assholes that will write you a ticket for going only 6 mph over, while niggers in clunkers are going way faster all around. Seriously, fuck you Officer Davidson.

>>25486945
I assume those aren't legal to have, but you can get them anyways?

>>25486945
If im right, an "hacker" used an device that also helped him to change the lights from red to green.
Did the police took the idea or he simply just took advantage over it?

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>>25487015
Technically they are legal to /have/ but they're very illegal to use. I have no idea where you can find one, but I'm pretty sure it's legal to buy them.
>>25487055
Not that I'm aware of. The sensors were made specifically for the system, so it's not like they were there to "Hack" before they started using Opticon.
>>25486997
Another fun fact for y'all, Native Americans are apparently really bad at driving.

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bump

more skeletons plox

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Bump 4 writefag

>>25488238
I would plant my bomb in their site, if you know what I'm saying.

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>>25489240
I don't really get what you're saying. Don't think they'd really appreciate that.

Personally, I'd fuck them.

>>25487281
>Native Americans are apparently really bad at driving
Of course they are. A good amount of them are constantly shitface drunk.

>>25489303
Well, you try living on the rez. It's boring as shit. There's nothing to do but drink and shoot guns, hopefully not at the same time

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>>25488238
how do they pull the triggers?

why bother wearing a mask if your obnoxiously-colored mane is sticking out?

why are they in such a shitty game?


why is rainbow such a cunt?

>>25489501
the even more important question is ho does the mask stay on? look between the eyes there is no connection there. the lower pat would just flip down, especially on rainbow

>>25489501
>>25490050
>what is form-fitted kevlar
Face shield, you dump trucks.

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>>25490057
you still haven't explained

tell me about the cunt,
why does she wear the mask?

>>25490079
2 b a big mare 4 u

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>>25490100 (checked)
top heh

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this green is too adorable

Blamp

horse

>>25482368

>You wake up lying on your side on a jail cell cot.
>In your arms is an adorable blue pony.
>Her face is nuzzled into your chest, her body curled up against yours, her police hat skewed almost entirely off her head.
>You lightly scritch behind her ears.
>She smiles and stirs in her sleep a little.
>Adorable.
>You could lie here for hours.
>Suddenly the door to the station swings open and Cherry Top walks in.
"Hey Blue, I brought you some coffee since I know you were up all ni-"
>She stares into the cell.
>She looks from you to Blue Fuzz to you again.
"Uh... mind telling me what's going on here?"
>Blue starts to stir from her slumber.
"Huh... whuh..."
"Officer Blue Fuzz! Why are you in the prisoner's holding cell? Are you being held against your will?"
>Blue snaps out of her morning fog.
"Oh. Uh. I, uh. No. I was just... um..."
>She untangles herself from your arms and adjusts her hat on her head as she hops down from the cot.
"I was just ensuring the prisoner is ready to be transferred to Canterlot castle, that's all."
>Cherry Top raises an eyebrow.
"By canoodling with him in the holding cell?"
>Blue Fuzz tenses up and glares.
"We were NOT canoodling!"
>Cherry Top stifles a giggle.
"Sure, sure. Whatever you say, Blue."
>Blue scrunches her face up.
"As if I'd be caught dead doing something like that with a degenerate criminal element like him. Hurry up, dirtbag. We're going to the castle."
>With that she storms out of the station.
>You glance awkwardly toward Cherry Top and follow after her.

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>you will never canoodle with a qt pone wearing a police hat

>>25491186
stahp it

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>>25491186

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More fun popo fcts: Police officers actually don't /need/ a warrant to enter your home. If there is suspicion that "Domestic Abuse" is occurring, they can enter wherever they like. And believe me, this is abused waaaaay too much. And almost every time they get away with it.

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>>25491186
It hurts, Anon. It hurts so much.

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>>25490057
bullshit, that's not a kevlar mask.
it goes down their necks and around their ears.

don't act all operator with me

Bumping for moar cute police pony.

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>>25491079
>canoodling
L-lewd

bump
this gonna be good

>>25481910
It's new to you because he's full of shit.

>>25492276
http://www.kevlarbulletproofvest.com/kevlar-bulletproof-vests-expire/

http://forums.officer.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-156813.html

http://nypost.com/2015/01/19/cops-spending-own-money-to-replace-expired-bulletproof-vests/

http://nypost.com/2015/01/12/thousands-of-cops-wearing-obsolete-bulletproof-vests/

http://m.policemag.com/article/1397/30-things-you-need-to-know-about-body-armor

http://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/criminal-defense/criminal-offense/when-its-illegal-to-own-a-bullet-proof-vest

http://www.bodyarmornews.com/utah-law-enforcement-must-wear-expired-bulletproof-vest-protection/

kk

>>25492370
all these links say kevlar vests do decay. calling bullshit on your 'back door deals and bribes' nonsense

>>25492721
I never said they don't expire, I said that 3-5 years is bullshit, just like how canned food can last years beyond its expiration date. It's just to sell more vests.

>>25492778
>>25492721

Actually, reading that again, I did make it very much sound like that's what I'm saying. Whoops.

Page seven bump?

boop

Booping for justice!

>>25491079
this pone is too adorable

File: batpolice2.png (1MB, 5000x5321px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 5000x5321px

this is the only pony-police picture I have

>>25495385
"She seems really excited."
>"She's uh... new."

File: Lamp gif.gif (619KB, 686x800px) Image search: [Google]

619KB, 686x800px

>>25495385

Would this do as a police Lamp pony?

>>25495445
no
you have a moth pony general for this
shoo
shoo