Oh no, /mlp/! It's your favorite's pony birthday today,

Last thing I bought was raw chicken.
I think nothing would be more appropriate

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>>25422971
>Ponka Poe
>1-liter packet of apple juice
I think she would be okay with that.

>>25422984
...Scootaloo?

>>25422971
>a funko mini of her
Great. I actually think she'd like it.

>>25423011
Tell us the ponies, anon!

>>25422971
Bugqueen

Pack of cigarretes.

She won't be happy. Probably thinking i want to smoke her out.

Luna gets Fallout 4.

no, just no.

>>25423047
Why not?

>>25423072

Gamer Luna

>Lottery tickets
I dont know. Rarara probably won't be happy

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>>25422971
>Rarara
>Andrew Jackson Jihad and Pet Symmetry LPs

Yeah... I don't think she'll go for it.

>>25423085
Only if you win.

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I bought fucking chips and mayo..for my favorite pone birthday. Great.

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>Sunbutt
>Marlboro 100's
>"Uh..I know since you're like immortal and stuff..so..I figured, why not?"
>'Oh thaaaank you, Anonymous! I've been jonesin for some of these for about a few million years!'

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>>25422971
>Trying to remember what I last bought.
>Sunset Shimmer brushable figurine
>Yes, I'm that much of a faggot.
>Give it to Trixie.
>"What is... THIS, Anon!?"
>She doesn't seem pleased.
>Shit, gotta think of something.
"Uh.. It's Sunset Shimmer? Y'know, the one who stole Princess Twilight's crown?"
>She pauses.
>"You, wait.. huh? SHE stole her crown? And you're just giving me this? I thought you liked her!"
>Shrug.
"You're more important than her. She can be your brushable pony now."
>Trixie mumbles to herself and walks back into little stage coach.. thing.
"You're welcome!"
>"IT STILL NEEDS TO BE TRIXIE-IFIED!"
>She probably didn't like it.

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>>25422971
>"A Milkshake? Isn't that kind of, childish?"
"It's made with alcohol."
>"..."
"And brownies."
>"You're a good guy, you know that?"

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last thing i bought...
>gasoline
i dont think she would even know what to do with it.

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>a reprint of The Gunsmith's Manual
Well, at least she'd pretend to be touched.

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>a pound of tri-tip
Shit, I was kinda hoping I'd let her know I'm a carnivore in a better way.

Hey Fluttershy, you know how I say I love animals and I could just eat them all up?
>Anon, I'm not mad you eat meat.
>I'm just concerned why you feel you need this much chicken and steak on a daily basis?
I told you Fluttershy I'm bulking, I need as much protein as possible.

>>25422971
>tfw you can't decide who your waifu is

Either applejack twilight sweetie belle or derpy, and the last thing I bought was probably the only copy of the world ends with you in my state

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>>25422971
the fuck i know how she's reacting this is literlly the last shit i bought

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>>25422971
>You hand Rainbow Dash the box, sweat pooling on your forehead
"Happy Birthday Dash...I uh... hope you like it?"
>She shakes the box, and inside you hear the dense thud you've come to be familiar with
>"Anon, you shouldn't have!"
>Dash is right, you shouldn't have
>But alas, it's too late for damage control
>With the eagerness of a filly, she tears off the rapping paper, leaving an innocuous cardboard box
>A single drop of sweat falls to the floor as you prepare for your power level to hit the ceiling
>Then she opens the box, dumping it's contents on the table
>For a moment, she just looks at it, confused
>"What is it? Why is it the same color as me?"
"It's...um...computer parts?"
>"I don't know, it looks more like a..."
>Her face turns to outraged horror as she realizes what it is
"FUCK!"
>You run for the door
>"GET BACK HERE YOU SICK FAGGOT!"

>>25422989
I just realized she uses her hair as a bottle opener

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>>25422971
A digital Karambit?
Paid 700$ for that motherfucker

>You hand the pony a small white box
>She hastily opens it
>A knife falls out of it
>It's a karambit painted in blue-ish purple spacey theme
>You scratch the back of your head
"T-twilight? Do you like it?"
>She looks confused
>"Anon?"

>"Are you fucking retarded spending money on this stuff?"

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>>25424892
>"Are you fucking retarded spending money on this stuff?"

Sounds about right, seeing as how you could buy a pile of ACTUAL karambits for that much money

>>25424773
Why do you have commie nuts, anon?

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>>25422971
> Meatball sub on pretzel bread, with pepperoni, bacon, black olives, grilled onions, and parm
> "......................."
> "......................."
> "......................."
> "...........happy birthday?

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>>25424907
I made like thrice as much money on that stuff.
A $1200 gun

>>25424922
I'll never understand how TF hats and this stuff works.

>>25424926
>you get an expensive gun through trading/betting/investing
>sell that shit to a rich guy for real munis
>trade/bet a little more and trade for an even more expensive gun/knife
Risky stuff, but it pays off. Made ~$30 000 out of it


There's nothing more expensive than a Dragon Lore, which can sell for up to $15 000

>>25424950
I mean, those who sell I understand. But those rich guys who buy it.

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>>25424892
>>25424922
Ok, to be clear, are you spending ACTUAL money on these things? Like, real physical money?

>>25422971
>Bioshock Complete Pack
>Twalot
Hum... This will be interesting. If steams exists there, i want to see her react to it

>>25422971
>Applejack
>Beer
Well. It's a bit rude ,but she is a southern afterall.

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>>25425032
No, I MAKE money on retards who spend REAL money on this shit.
>pic related

>>25425021
It looks cool, and if they have so much money that they can afford it, who cares?
still retards though

>>25425054
Which beer? It's important.

>>25425069
Meh. Just a simple Gösser. It's a very meh tier beer. It's neither good or bad just meh. I like dark beer more personally. But I was with my friend when I bought it in a bar.

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>>25425057
HA! Well shit, keep on keepin on, friend.

>>25424682
>TWEWY
You have great taste, Anon.

Ponies need more presents.

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Calculator
>"uhh, thanks, anon. It's uh.... nice?

>>25425580
>"What do those buttons do?"

>>25425592
Remember that thing in school you always failed, math?
It does that.

>>25422971
tomatos.

>>25422971
meme

>a 2gram weed baggy
"'Cuz that kinda plants don't grow in Sweet Apple Acre."

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>>25422971
Last item I bought was Undertale.
Unless you don't count digital purchases, then I bought a Red Pikmin Plush.
I don't think Discord would care either way.

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>>25425645
Well, I'm sure he would enjoy Undertale's mascots.

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>>25424821
>computer parts

>mfw this fucking excuse.

I've used this excuse when my onahole came in the mail, and other anons have used this excuse as well. What the fuck.

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>>25422971
>Astroglide
>Twily starts to stammer and heavily blush

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>>25424821
Turn around and tell her that the internet made you do it and that if girls can have vibrators and dildos then you can have this

>>25426035
Fucking same, tried to smuggle in fleshlights before and and for one or two of them they saw the blank cardboard box, had to say it was computer parts

Why are computer parts the instinctual fall back for anons trying to smuggle shit anyways?
Whats the tie that binds us on an instinctual level?

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>>25422971
>DVDs of Outlaw Star and Big Trouble in Little China
My ass is covered, shame-wise.
Twilight would be disappointed that they're not books.

>>25426129
That's pretty fuckin' neato. Nothing to watch them on though.

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>>25422971
>Sonichu medallion
I don't think Maud will like it.

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Trixie gets the underworld twisted fate skin in league. I can see this actually going well.

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>>25426185
W-w-what. Why?

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>pic related is literally the last thing I bought
>favorite pone is Dash
>"Uh... thanks Anon... kinky... I guess?"

>>25426199
Its a piece of internet history. Its going to be my cursed treasure.
I'll only handle it with gloves to put it in an air tight container when it arrives.
Hopefully I'll avoid any indirect contact, though I'm kind of nervous about keeping it inside.
Maybe I'll bury it in the yard.

>>25426227
Why did you buy a saddle, Anon?

>>25426279
Because I ride horses? Why else?

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>Cross Fountain Pen Cartridge Ink Refills, Black Ink Cartridges, 6 per card (8921)
Not as bad as I though.

>>25426332
What do you need with 8,921 ink cartridges?

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>>25422971
>a cookie
getting laid tonite

>>25422971
>6 brand new carbon target arrows
>950$ olympic style recurve bow complete with stabilizers and Hoyt lumbs
>Favorite pony: Rainbow Pegasus Horse
"Anon. Why the fuck did you buy me this. I dont have hands."

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>>25426338
its one of these
that is just how its named on amazon

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I bought some story circles and ghostly prisons. umm, maybe apple jack will like pillowfort. I know fluttershy will for sure.

>3 liters of soda Coca Cola

>>25426378
Neither do the archery olympics or the guys from Daring Do. Use your mouth you whore.

>Bought Mewtwo amiibo
>Because OP is a faggot I find myself wanting to give it to Rarity as a birthday gift

I...hope she likes vidya?

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>Demons, The Idiot, Crime and Punishment, and The Brothers Karamazov

Who doesn't like Dostoevsky? Lyra would love them.

>>25426705
>The best of human culture for the human loving horse.

Literally perfect, anon. You scored.

>>25422971
I dunno how Limestone would react to Shopkins.

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>just bought a three liter box of Cabernet Sauvignon

I wonder how well and how much pinkie can handle her alcohol
maybe I should call berry punch to help

>>25426745
Remember that she took all of the cider?

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Pack of smokes
>"No wonder you cough like a cancer patient, Anon!"

>>25425580
What calculator?

Night Bump.

>>25426745


Horses are naturally adept at alcohol. You'd run out of money before you got one drunk on wine.

>>25426262
>burying an obviously cursed item in the backyard
Shit, this is going to end like an autistic version of Poltergeist

>>25428057
Oh, so it's going to be a Paranormal Acivity sequel? Great.