>"Captain Anonymous! Your ex-marefriend is attempting

>>25355531
God help us

God help us all...

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>>25355531
ACTIVATE THE NUKES

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>>25355531
Well as long as it's not all three of them we can still use a special plan...

Ruuuuuuuun!

Send her to the human dimension.

>>25355531
Bring me everyone

>>25355531
This is terrible. I cannot allow the castle to come to harm because of my past and her actions.

Open the gates. I will just have to accept her booty call. Prepare my chambers; I have a horse pussy to fuck.

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>>25355780
Ah yes, the Starswirl strategy

>>25355531
Give me 30 down because you're being unprofessional by calling her my ex-marefriend.

Also, detain her, what else?

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>>25355531
>"unleash the hounds"

>>25355531
Okay, we'll cut off my face and cut off your face and swap them, then you and your new marefriend will go live a long miserable life somewhere over in Appleoosa.

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>>25355841

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>>25355531
"She's lying, I am unable to attract any male or female. Treat her as regular intruder."

>>25355531
Kill her on sight

>>25355531
Can't you just go close the door or something?

>>25355531
"We must overreact immediately"!!!

>>25355531
Activate "it".

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>>25355531
>ex-marefriend

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>>25356047

>>25355531
Which one?
If it's Rainbow again just ignore her.

>>25356029
>"She has an axe, sir."

>>25355531
capture her, cut her pussy out, stick it in her mouth, and fuck her. You will fuck her pussy and get a blowjob at the same time.

>>25357038
Alright, let me get my gun.

>>25355531
RAISE SHIELDS, ALL HANDS TO BATTLE STATIONS!

>>25357100
TAKE EVASIVE ACTION

>>25356016
>"She says you used to go shopping at the same supermarket, and one time you handed her a box of miniwheats from the top shelf, and that this makes you as good as engaged."
>"She's also high as a pony that has smoked her weight in methamphetamines and angel dust, because that's what she is."
>"Captain, it may be too late to run now, she's eaten the front gates and the guards can't take her down!"

>>25357128
OUR FORCES ARE GETTING HAMMERED! WE CAN'T TAKE IT MUCH LONGER! SIR, WE HAVE TO RETREAT!

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>>25355531
Get me the KRU, they can remove her.

>>25357182
Wait, hammered as in getting drunk or hammered as in getting their asses kicked?

>>25357206
...Yes.

>>25357206
I don't know what he meant, but just in case HAND ALCOHOL TO ALL OUR FORCES

>>25355531
SHUT
IT
DOWN
SHUT IT ALL DOWN

>>25357180
... what?

>>25355531
"Have you tried telling her I'm not here?"
>"She didn't believe us Sir."
"Well, fuck."

>>25357222
wait, don't you mean "Activate it," Anon?

>>25355531
Oh shit! Tell her I'm in another castle!!

>>25357429
>SIR, SHE'S BLOCKING THE EMERGENCY EXIT.
This could not get any worse.
>SIR, SHE'S BROKE DOWN THE FRONT GATE AND BARRICADED HERSELF INSIDE OF THE CASTLE.
Oh dear God.
>SIR, SHE'S RIDING YOUR SEGWAY THROUGH THE HALLS WHILE SPREADING AROUND CONFETTI AND GLITTER.
Dammit, now we'll never get these floors cleaned properly for another month
>SIR, SHE'S TOSSING ALL OF OUR GUARDS OUT OF THE WINDOWS!
Okay, how many of them are there now?
>Um... about six.
>There's also a dragon walking down the halls with a bloodied knife while whispering to himself how it could've been just you and him.
...What do you think are our chances.
>Good news is that we'll probably die.
>The bad news is that we'll probably live to suffer through it.
...Get my revolver.
>Sir?
We only have five bullets.
There are seven of us in this room.
I will load the gun and we will spin the chamber.
Then we will put the gun on our heads and we'll the trigger.
First five to die wins.
>Those are unfair odds, sir.
They're only unfair towards the last three to live.
>"WHERE ARE YOU, ANON!? I'VE SPENT FIVE YEARS MAKING THIS DRESS TO WEAR FOR YOU!"
I call first.

>>25357579
Fuck it, shoot all the bullets at your head. You'll manage to pull the trigger max twice anyway.

>>25357603
{The gun is loaded and placed on anon's head}
Well... here goes nothing.
*click*
...no. No. NO! NOOO!
>Give me that!
{guard points gun to his head using his magic}
>LONG LIVE EQUESTRI─
*POW*
Shit... one down.

>>25357702
You got it all wrong. Keep the gun, shoot until you get killed, because fuck other guys.

>>25357727
{After a short fight, three others have quickly put an end to their lives}
{Now it is just anon and two of his guards}
*click*
>Shit...
>"My turn."
*POW*
...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
>Lucky bastard...
{A loud banging could be heard just outside of the door.}
>Captain... it's over.
>Give me the gun.
...I can't believe I lost.
...No... I didn't lose yet.
>Captain, it's over.
>There's no time.
>Just give me the gun so we can just stop fighting and face whatever may destroy us.
>We're strong.
>We can take on a few mares, right?
{Anon reaches into his pockets frantically, finding that they were empty.}
...Where is it?
>Sir?
Where is it?
I had an extra bullet! Where the fuck is it!?
>Sir, it's over, you used them all.
>Now just give me the gun...
...You took it, didn't you?
>Give me the gun, Anon.

>>25357833
Choke on tongue.
What in the fuck I'm doing.

>>25357886
Give me the bullet.
I paid 75 cent for that bullet.
I want my investment.
>And leave me here to face them?
>Oh Anon, you know not of the horrors those six are capable of producing.
Oh I know what they're capable of.
I fucked all six of them.
I have had many nights where I have grown sore and empty from their greed.
Night in and night out, they have been persistent in taking me to do this and that.
For weeks, they have reveled in their painful and unsightly kinks.
One of them even threatened to shove a blow pop up my ass and force me to lick it.
>Give me the gun, this could be so much easier for the both of us if you would─
IT WAS BROWN WHEN THEY STARTED...
And even now... the contents that were removed from within me have dried upon it.
They could be carrying it even as we speak...

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>>25355531
i got this
*gets out of Chair an walks over to the see Ex-Marefriend*
>Does gif Related

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>>25355531
only one thing to do at a time like this