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>Suddenly you're in Equestria with no memory of how you

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>Suddenly you're in Equestria with no memory of how you got there
>This is the first thing you see

What do?
Decide that LSD isn't good for you and quit
Sit up very suddenly and scream OOGA BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA.
Because I can't imagine a time when scaring horse children would ever be not hilarious.
>you killed it.
Pretend to be ghost.
Demand favors in exchange not haunting/possessing.
Wonder how the fuck I got there, then hang out with Mane 6.

Probably end up babysitting the CMC and being a big brother to them.
Note to self, stop taking DMT.
Nigga, if I saw ponies on lsd i would be using it way more often.
Get up and start running around with my AK yelling ALLAHU AKBAR.
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>I think you killed it
Get up and start moaning brains, laugh my ass of when they run screaming with their adorable voices.

Humans are very bad at predicting how they will react to a certain situation. Taking into account I do not even remember what the fuck happened.

The honest question is, I have no fucking idea what do.
I'd probably do a retarded backwards spider walk (imagine that one scene in Blade 2) out of sudden startling realisation and end up hitting my head on a tree.
Freak the fuck out like any sensible human being.

That or pretend to be a zombie only to be normal when everypony comes
So I went to sleep and then woke up on the ground being poked by fillies? Or do I feel disoriented when I wake up? Probably just blankly stare at them wondering if I'm actually hearing a talking horse. The freaking out would happen once I stood up and looked around not recognizing my surroundings.
I summon thee writefag
Why? It's a retarded trolling post.

You're retarded for wanting more.
Tough talk coming from a bipedal bitch.

>realize im a female deer with a broken leg
Wow, that's actually a really creative idea.

Brought into Equestria but you're neither a pony or human.
So what. You may think my post was retarded, but that`s your opinion, which I didn`t ask for.
You're right, anon. Everyone on 4chan should respect your faggotry and not say anything mean about you on this anonymous image-board. This is the perfect place for someone with such thin skin like you. Really. Bullies like that other anon you replied to are the ones who don't belong here. Hug?
And thus this thread was ruined by faggotry.

>there sharp splinters of bark in your butthole

Apple bloom what the hell
I think I posted it in a thread onoce, but I uhhhh... don't remember?
You`d go full autist and lash out too if you nearly had the support beam of a barn fall on you.
you wish.
But to be honest I would like to use it way more often even without the pony visuals.
>Splinters in your ass
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time to scream for help
"I'M ALIVE! Stop this thing, also who are you? where am I? "
>"i'm Scootaloo"
>"hmm hm hmppllbhmm"
"talking.. horses?"
>"I'm Sweetiebelle, and hey it's you who talked first!"
>try to get up and run away.

"fuck, fuck everything about this."
... go on
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good idea!
"HGNNH what's wrong wth me I can't feel my legs, or my hands... Holy shit. you!"
>scootaloo's coming in, she's the orange horsething
"can you bring me an ambulance?"
Scootaloo: "er.. an ambulance? I don't think I could do this they're too heavy! I.. I'm a filly"
>the unicorn asked
Sweetiebelle: "Are you going to die?"
Applebloom: "He's a drunk pony, that's why, let's leave him like this"
"I'm not a pony, My name is.. I... What was it again.. I can't remember... I'm really.."
Scootaloo: "You're not wounded, what about... you get up on your four hooves to begin with?"
>try to roll and get up
>look down
>my hands! What are those things? Holy shit I'm a horse!
Applebloom: "you said that out loud, how rude, and you're a pony colt not a horse!"
>try to get up anyways
>barely manage to stand on four legs like some animal
"...Holy shit this is a nightmare... You three, stay away from me! This will be over, soon!"
>Applebloom: "Are you sure you can go home? Do you remember where you live now?"
"I was in my apartment in Glasgow. Scotland, now thanks guys, I remember now, My name's Stephen... What's this place called?"
>Applebloom: "Ponyville"
>Sweetiebelle: "You're the guy"
>Scootaloo: "Actually this is the suburbs of Ponyville, I don't know where's Scotland."
>Applebloom: "we thought you were dead. And you don't have a cutie mark either?"
>look aroud
>countryside, mountains everywhere
>definitively not the same place, how i got in there...
>try to walk anyways holy shit it's hard.
>look at Applebloom next
"Slower please I'm learning to walk like you"
>Applebloom: "Ah you like, amen... anmesthesistic and forgot this too?"
>Scootaloo: "Maybe he needs a brain doctor"
"Certainly but I prefer an human professional psychiatrist after this, not some kind of cat or dog kind or whatever thing i'm gonna find. There, looks like an house over there."
>walk in direction of the village
"Is there like, a farmer or some redneck caring for us usually up there?"
>Scootaloo: "Er, Celestia does! She's the princess of Equestria!"
"Oh she's got a name, perfect! Aren't we supposed to ... gallop and make races all that shit?"
>the three little ponies doesn't seem to get it
>okay they are horses, that doesn't make any sense.
>they're following me regardless.

>reach the house. poke at the door with my nose.
>expect some guy to come out and try to communicate
>okay. another horse just opened this door... a quite taller horse, pink. with blonde hairs. certainly female
>CherryBerry: (actually written in english on her mailbox) "Hm. What do you want?"
"I'm looking for... Celestia, do you know where she is? I'm a bit lost, and I need to talk to this person...Wait, what are you doing in a house?"
>she's looking at me, frowning, stays silent.
>CherryBerry: "Leave. Seriously, you leave. "
>she slammed the door of something that looks like an old house.

"that's ... nonsensical"
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>continue into a street
>only ponies of various colors walking around
>Scootaloo: "you know, if you aim to talk to Celestia she lives in Canterlot"
"Camelot? Oh you're a fan of the Pythons right?"
Sweetiebelle: "Canterlot, and we don't like snakes around here"
"ah nevermind... how far is Canterlot from here?"
>"about ... sixty kilometers I think"
"is there something like a bus or a train, something? Maybe you ponies are used to travel in such lengths everyday but I barely can stand up now."
>"trains cost about one bit per ticket; do you have money?"
"Sorry I forgot to pick up some cash and my bank card."
>"Hey you could check with Twilight, she's Princess Celestia's personal student!"
"where does she lives?"
>"You see the big crystal tree over there on the hill?"
"it looks awful, what kind of ...postmodern art freak made this?"
>Applebloom: "Right now I think Twilight's still sitting in her old tree like she does about once a day. follow me."
>I have no idea why I'm doing but I follow this small creature
"is everyone else a pony in there?"
>"No, I have a dog"
"oh sweet! I have one too, a German Sheperd"
>"Winona's a Border Collie, Twilight's got an owl, and PinkiePie's got a crocodile"
"the logic."
>we're closing in. reaching something that looks like an old tree that caught fire, with a purple pony in the middle. actually an unicorn, reading a book
>Scootaloo:"she's a bit depressed since the day Tirek turned her library into ashes, so avoid talking about it"
"duly noted."
>Twilight: "Heya girls! Sorry I didn't notice you were around... er, oh you've got a new friend? what's your name?"
"Actually I'd like to"
>Sweetie:"his name is Stephen from Scotchland!"
"I... Yes, that's me. as you can see I'm not from this place and I think I'm lost here."
Twilight: "Where are your parents?"
"Hm. they're in Ashford, Kent. I don't think that's... Look , usually I work in Glasgow, I got an apartment there since 2012 and this is Monday i guess."
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>talk with the scary purple creature with a horn, and wings.
>Twilight: "Well I think you should go back to them, or if you're lost, you can stay here we'll take care of you!"
"that's really nice of you...but..."
>At this point I'm giving up counting the inaccuracies.
"Have you seen any human?"
>Twilight:"My colleague's an anthropologist, you might want to ask her about these, if you want my advice"
>she's murmurring at my ear
>Twilight: "stay away from the woods, the humans could trap you and eat you alive"
"heh. as in lasagna? bullshit, i'm a human, i don't eat horses. we're civilized !"
>she's laughing
"it's true, I can barely walk, like this! Applebloom told me you're magic, so wake me up with your unicorn magic, or take me to check Celestia, she's a human, no?"
>"Celestia's an alicorn, like me, she's the princess of Equestria, co-ruler with her sister, Luna..."
>Twilight's explaining me in a few things what every kid should know
>"by the way I never heard of the places you've been talking about"
"ah nevermind then. thanks for trying"
>she's waving
>"see you later!"
"yeah! ... i need a beer."

>Scootaloo: "a what?"
"is there like, a bar, a place where I can drink something? or get some hooker?"
>scootaloo's not getting it
"Hey Scootaloo, where do you live? ... Are you alone or do you have a boyfriend?"
>she's looking at me, really making a sad face, looking down.
>she's silent. Applebloom and Sweetiebelle are looking at me, pissed off.
"what did I said..."
>Applebloom: "Scootaloo's alone, that's not ..."
>oh shit
>Scootaloo:"it's okay, you don't know me... indeed I am ....alone.."
"Scootaloo, sorry I just wanted to be friends and know you better, i'm really sorry. Say, Applebloom, do you have got any family here in ponyville?"
>applebloom's forcing to smile, a tear's running on her cheek
>"my... parents... are.."
"oh sh.. ow poor little things i'm sorry. you three come over here!"
>snuggle them

>what kind of atrocious world is this?
Ask for a cup of coffee. Then start losing my shit.
>just had some hay sandwich offered by Applejack, the sister of Applebloom.
>that's disgusting.
>the non-flying chickenmorphic Scootaloo, approximatively the only pony with a non-common name in this city decided to show me her place, where to spend the night"
"So you live here? not bad at all. I love the view and the deco"
>"T..Thanks, and during winters, I usually sleep in Applejack's barn, over there."
"'s better than nothing"
>hell she's cute...
>as I'm looking at myself in a mirror, the thing i yelled in horror at one hour ago is becoming more and more familiar.
>dark blue mane, green eyes with white fur all over the body,
>I'm examining my new anatomy. devoid of hands but a rather satisfying large cock.
>make the addition. me-male, she-female.
>i just can't do it like this. she's a sentient being.
"Scootaloo... say... have you ever..."
>"flown? nope, just gliding. My wings aren't good enough for this"
"How come? They're beautiful!"
>"Thank you very much, ...everyone else say I'm crippled..."
"fuck them, you're cute! Horses are not supposed to fly"
lucy in the sky with diamonds
>Slowly rise to my feet, making a big show and spectacle of the whole thing.
>Internally smirk as they stare in awe at my height, as any normal human is bound to tower above a pony, let alone a filly.
Well...that's about it really. I guess I'd just try to engage in conversation after that.
I insist on being a yak god dammit
By the powers of your triples you are now ... Yak, the only coder/developer FurAffinity ever had.
Recently in "stolen by Equestria Daily" shitposts.
I feel like developing this story anyways. crits are welcomed.

>Scootaloo's laying in her "bed", a mattress with a few layers just on the floor.
>I'm following her, cuddling, carressing her, not really sexy with those hooves.
>i'm exploring the little equine's anatomy, and begin to find sensuality
>we're looking into eachother...
>kiss her
>feel her heartbeat's going faster
>frot my sheath against her belly, exposing my cock
>her legs are twitching, i'm moving lower, down her chest
>"W..Wait, what are you doing?"
"Relax. You're going to enjoy it"
>kiss her lips, her clit's erected
>i'm licking it
>Scootaloo's moaning, breathing heavily
>keep sucking her, as she's squirting.
>my cock has reached its peak hard on
>get in position, poking her vulva with it, finding the best position
>"Y... You're going to... "
"If you don't mind of course~"
>she's looking at me
>".. okay"
>i'm getting inside her, slowly
>her teeth are clenched
"you alright?"
>"unf.....keep... going!"
>i never banged a girl so deep with such an adequate dick
>now i have no regrets about my previous species
>holy shit her vagina's so deep
>her clit's now under my sheath, it's a bit like she's also inside me
>that's even more hot than I could ever imagine...
>lay over her, kiss her neck again
>weird, i don't feel like thrusting back and forth much
>guess this body comes with a plethora of instincts.
>we're cuddling again, she's also with me, rolling on the bedsheets, on the floor...
>can feel her marecum flowing all over me as she gets on top
>she's spreading her wings, the light of the full moon's making the whole thing so intense
>everything's clear now. I've died and now..
>i'm fucking with an angel
>get up
>scream something along the lines of "WOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLO"
>run to Everfree forest
>live off the fat of the land
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>Complain loudly about how much my dick hurts
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Keep going...
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>I'm feeling her cervix poking my pony genitals inside of her
>she seem to like it, i'm going a bit faster as I feel she's in with me
>it's like if our movements are instinctively synchronized, however i must keep on her rhythm and not release my load too fast, so she's got the time to reach orgasm
>holy shit she wants more
>okay i must keep in mind i've got the body of a horse, i can make it harder.
>she's shaking and thrusting over me, her wings are all deployed and beating to enhance her penetration
>oh yes she wants more
>i'm about to release my payload in a few seconds now.
>i feel her pussy's contractions meaning she's at her peak now.
>i feel her cum flowing all over me
>plow her as far as I can
>insert my cock fully inside her and drop my load inside Scootaloo's body
>I know she can feel it inside her, and falls over me, panting and snuggling with me
>she's panting and sweating... I think it might be the same for me.
>"It's .. so awesome...I never felt anything like this!"
"Me too. Honestly, it's like, the first time as a pony and I regret nothing!"
>i'm just almost done cumming inside her, and we're staying like this for a minute or two., time to take back our breath, snuggling, caressing eachother.
>I'm considering pulling out my cock
>"wait. take your time before pulling out your penis."
>"...Thank you for this instant. Mind if I sleep over you like this?"
>i wonder how they manage to manipulate so many things with hooves, she's putting back her blanket on us
"no problem Scoots! come over here!"
>she's shaking her butt, with my penis still inside of her. She's looking at it
>i'm poking her clit out of my sheath, masturbating her softly, and feel the feedback of her vagina around my cock
>Scootaloo's slowly pulling herself out, slowly,
>under the warm light of a few candles the whole length of my member is being revealed
>a mix of vaginal secretions and cum is flowing out of her.
>the same goo's flowing also out of my urethra
Date a horse they said...
It'll be a stable relationship, they said...

No seriously UNF, muh dick.
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>she's playing with it, grinning, poking it with her clit, almost attempting a penetration, but unsuccessfully.
>she's fapping it a little, like reanimating a warrior that's agonizing on the battlefield
"gotta take some time to reload y'know."
>"You're funny!"
>i'm observing it too, that's got a weird shape, compared to what I'm used to handle watching some porn.
>"...i want to pee, you come with me?"
"if that's your thing..."
>we're trotting outside of the small house in the trees to some kind of balcony.
>she's sitting there, watching the moonlight
"the view... it's amazing."
>she's smiling at me
>"there's a thing we do with girls sometimes. i wonder how far you could go with yours"
>she's holding my arm with her horseleg as we're sitting in front of the night sky
>she's spreading her legs, and she's peeing like this. every tear of urine looks like a bunch of stars going with the wind, or small diamonds reflecting the moonlight.
>she's poking my sheath with the tip of her hoof
"hm, you know i'm not much into watersports... but challenge accepted"
>i'm pulling it out
>"hey watch out i don't want you to fall either!"
>take a deep breathe
>"you should spread your legs, your hips are compressing your peehole"
>slight improvement, it's like i'm peeing into the fucking cosmos
>"not bad, with enough training"
"you know, us guys we can't pee with having a boner."
>"i didn't knew this! we've been studying stallion anatomy with Miss Cheerilee"
"it's like that..."
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oh, Carlos...

Next time, ... soon, you will be next!

"so basically that means we're underage?
>"Royal Guards does not ever lurk in this area, and if we get caught, and find out you're also a blank flank i dont think they can do anything"
"oh if you're a stallion or a grown up doing it without my consent, they put... your balls"
>she's poking them
>"into a huge machine called a drophammer, and they explode."
"thanks for this kind of very important information. holy fuck"
>we're squirting a trail of piss into the sky one more time, after we're done. before going back inside, rushing in the bed, snuggling into eachother.
>we're chatting about what we're going to do tomorrow. meeting her friends at school, and all that
>i'm explaining her my job and what i do in the human world
>she's recounting me her story, about rainbowdash, and the ponies, she'd love to fly and all that

"so couldn't Twilight help you fixing them with magic?"
"I'm certain there is a way. We'll find it don't worry."
>the scent of her fur, the softness... i realize i'll probably never have another girl like her in my life. it's really something else.
>what is this world... what... happened to me to wake up there.
>my memories are still scrambled.
>next morning
>first sunrays
>into the bed with scootaloo
>cock's yelling out on a farm nearby
>the avian animal, mine's barely waking up right now, just poking between Scootaloo's hips
>the early sun rays filtering through the leaves illuminating her face, so close...
>i even feel bad for penetrating such a beautiful, sacred creature.
>*you got me closer to God*

>stretch and get up, pull back the blanket over her naked body
>okay it's true, all ponies are wandering naked anyways,
>i need a coffee.
>lurk into Scootaloo's place. More like a squat of sorts...
>wonderbolts posters, drawings, stuff about Rainbowdash

>stuffs stored in boxes, comics... hell how do they manage to draw stuff like this, surely nothing to prepare a breakfast.
>Scootaloo's finally getting up
>i'm coming to her
>give her a kiss
"g'mornin' beauty!"
>she's stretching, her body fully exposed
>keep on kissing her on the cheek, on the neck,... on the chest, on her belly, on her vulva, her inner hips
"what do you want for breakfast?"
>"i don't have any... "
"let's go and pick one at some bar, a café or something"
>she's smiling
>look at myself in the mirror...
"hmpfh, i should also shave myself, and"
>shake my head
"find a better haircut. "

>we're climbing down using these improved stairs
"what would you think if i got a job in this town, we could rent an appart together, so you can study and have a better life"
>"rent a what?"
"is there anything like, ..apartments to rent or even sale?"
>"oh you and your slang, do you mean making ourselves a house? we could ask the mayor"
"yeah that's exactly my job, i'm a technical consultant in urban planning, we could discuss if there's a house that's being abandoned, or i could do the paperwork to get the viability of a parcel, and check with all the administrative and juridical aspect. then check with an accountant if they can advance the money, and make a plan. at first sight, the housing here is rather... elevated"
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>scootaloo's like not getting one word of what I said
>"we'll meet Mayor Mare of ponyville after class if you want, if you like administrative stuff there's a filly in the class you gotta meet, her dad's an accountant and investment banker. these people are boring."
"who's this?"
>"DiamondTiara, she's a bitch and a 'know it all' moralist and inane troll. well, we used to be friends but she's random"
"a sociopath, i guess, but if you say her father's into business that might be intresting"
>we're entering into some kind of café, all painted of pink, shaped like a muffin or some amorphous french pastry
>a pink horse is greeting Scootaloo and myself
>"Helloooo Scootaloooo! Oh you've brought ...a friend!"
"Name's Stephen Thredstone. I'm visiting the region this week, charming place, really. "
>she's grinning
>"Twilight told me about you, welcome to Ponyville! What do you want?"
"I'm just gonna pick some breakfast, a mug of coffee and some croissants... What do you want Scootaloo?"
>"er... Maybe a few muffins... and a bowl of milk"
"Ah, important thing, i don't have my Mastercard with me, i think it's left in my apartment in Glasgow. I can't pay you right now"
>the pink pony looked at me a weird way
>"Eh, oki dokie, it's not a problem for me it's offered for you two!"
"thanks! very kind of you"
>for the first time i'm observing how a horse is making coffee.
>dexterity, control.. all that without hands. that espresso machine looks older than my ancestors
>By observation, I suspect her to abuse of caffeine.
>"I don't like coffee anyways so it's great to find someone who finally puts it into a good use!"

>pick my cup and go join Scootaloo on a table,
>sit on there. in front of us, on the corner, some purple pony reading the newspapers
>ignore her, even though i kind of have my idea on who could it be
"so, how's studies like here in that school?"
>"oh well, we're learning oh i've got a pegasus friend, teaching me how to use my wings"
Please dont stop I will love your forever.
I would whip out my lasgun and PURGE THE XENO FILTH!!!!!
okay. i'm on it. what could anon and the ponies could do today...
]initialize world
]loading ponies
]processing incremental random event generator
]starting magic engine 1.00.43
]resuming previous greentext

>i'm chatting with Scootaloo
>discussing about my world, spending nights at the pub with friends, musical tastes and everything
>cling at Scootaloo, silently pointing that there's an obvious spy right behind us
>she's nodding

>look at my arm, like the habit i had to peek at my swatch
>turn back to the stranger behind us reading the newspaper with the photo of some unicorn pony i know with some tall horses behind her
"excuse me.. sorry to disturb you, do you know what time it is?"
>Twilight's dropping the newspaper on the table
"Oh, Miss Sparkle! What a coincidence!"
>"Stephen! Scootaloo! I... I didn't knew you were here! "
"classic in small towns, you know where i live, we all meet in this kind of place too."
>a bucket of spaghettis falling on the floor
>"i was just into a fascinating article about the introduction of new varieties of beets in the farms of the region... let me check.. "
>she's looking at a church through the window imprinted Sugarcube Corner
>"it's 8:19"
"thanks, I haven't noticed... We might be late for school, t'was a pleasure, but we gotta go, have a nice day!"
>"Likewise Stephen!"
>we're rushing out, and I'm having a hard time following Scootaloo
>she's fast. I'm still barely trying to figure out how to coordinate my legs
>trying to imitate my dog... nope.
>"I usually go there with my scooter, but I broke a wheel, I gotta fix it!"
>look behind
"At least she's not following us"
>"Twilight? She might be searching for a friendship problem to fix or know more about strangers, if she wanted she's got a magic spell, she could be teletransportaged at the school instantly like, zap!"
"Teleportation... Like, beam me up Scotty? Whoa that's crazy, and a bit creepy."
Must not sleep must keep reading
Well of course they would run away, you're speaking nonsense.
what is the last thing I do remember?

also, I'm still a human, right?
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>Scootaloo didn't got it
>"what's that? a spell you know?"
"You obviously never heard of Star Wars"
>we're stopping in front of the school's closed doors
>how many times i knew this but i also know how to deal with annoying boss.
>we're entering
>a purple mare is behind a desk, and a whole classroom of about 15 ponies working. Her name's Cheerilee
>she's staring at us
>Cheerilee:"Oh, a newcomer, and you're a half hour late! What a good start!"
>Scootaloo: "Sorry miss Cheerilee"
"Don't be, actually t'was my fault. I asked her to wait for me and be my guide. Where's my desk?"
>Cheerilee:"On the right corner, there, next to SilverSpoon"
"that's perfect."
>the purple mare's looking at me a strange way, as i sit on my desk
>the pony on my left's murmuring something like "another blank flank"
"tell me about it, the tattoo guy had no idea when I brought him my diplomas in administration and management. what are we working on?"
>Silverspoon: "Science, it's about space and planets."
"okay thanks!"
>Cheerilee's giving me a copy and a pencil for me to complete a quizz about orbits and stuff.
>Cheerilee: "What's your name?"
"Thredstone. Stephen Thredstone"
>Cheerilee: "Alright I'm gonna test your knowledge with this one, just answer the questions and if you don't, just skip."
>complete the things
>name the planets
>what force makes the planets spinning around the sun, etc.
>is recalled of some shows about Stephen Hawkings about blackholes and stuff. Einstein's stuff on general relativity. I feel like I'm gonna kick some ass but the biggest challenge is to write with a pencil in the mouth. ... R...T...H. six to go.
>Silverspoon's looking at me, she's writing like... holy shit i don't even want to see this.
>notice some duct tape roll on the desk of Cheerilee.
"excuse me miss, can i borrow you something?"
>scotch the pencil on my hoof
>writing like a boss
"much better"
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same here (frenchfag) nothing on TV hence, i write.

>completed the quizz like a boss, finally. i just need to get the habit to write with... a hoof
>Miss Cheerilee's looking at me. we're waiting for a few more moments,
>she's picking our papers and then we're going outside, breathing some air
>kind of feeling nostalgic from school, except ...it's full of horses.
>even a bigger question, why did it had to be horses? that's beyond me. there might be... a reason or something
>go outside
>meet Scootaloo, Applebloom and Sweetiebelle again
"'sup girls, how was the test?"
>fillies: "f..fine, fine! we completed half of the thing i just got messed up on who orbits who."
>some pony: "we all know it's Celestia who's raising the sun"
"hmmm. not quite sure it works like this."

>Some pegasus kid's discussing with Scootaloo, and a pink smug pony is stalking him
>Scootaloo: "Here's Rumble, he's the kid i told you about, teaching me how to fly"
"Hey Rumble, just, if you don't mind, could you offer us a demo, like this, show us all how you flyin'?"
>Rumble: "well uh..."
"Come on, i see a lot of flying things where I live but rarely horses, and I'm just.. Just do your stuff"
>Rumble: "...okay"
>he's indeed taking off, and rises up in the sky, does some looping, and maneuvers, and then he's landing, raising a wave of dust from the ground
>i'm speechless
>Rumble: "I'm still a beginner"
"Rumble... let me explain one thing, listen carefully."
>everyone is paying attention
"I said to John Cunningham, a friend and coworker he could retrieve my Suzuki Heron the day I find a fucking flying horse. That's the same model Barry Sheene was riding when he won several championships. You probably don't know what I'm talking about"
>Rumble: "...oh, well, i..."
>Scootaloo: "Let's just pretend it never happened"
>>21655651 (back)
"damn i'd usually pick a cig' but i imagine there's nothing like this here. What are you doing after school?"
>Applebloom: "ah g'back home an' dinner with Applejack n' big mac n' scoots yanno she's like a bit mah sistah so if ya wanna come with us we've always got stuff for ya"
>try not to laugh at her accent. she's an orphan. do not laugh at her
"okay... 's cool, i was wonderin if you guys had some work for me in the stable"
>Applebloom:"we still makin some room for guests n' scoots n you maybee, why not since it's got destroyed last time"
>Scootaloo: "their barn is usually the target of bad things happening in Ponyville and the region, they always have to rebuild it"
"Ah... your insurance company must be happy... ..oh you don't have this either. okay, just if you need someone to help you fix things in there, i'm your man, i came in here without a farthing. what kind of job i could make here?"
>Silverspoon: "you're looking for a job?"
>Scootaloo: "oh go away you"
"I think it's something worth of concern, but since you look so enlightened about this please share your wise advices with us"
>Silver: "ohwell... there's some diamond mining in the plains a few kilometers from here, they pay well"
>"diamonds? we're talking about diamonds?"
>perfect, i'm rich
>Silver: "just like Diamond Tiara. she's got a tiara made out of diamond, it's very solid"
"DIAMONDTIARA! Come over here please! Gotta talk five minutes! Heel! please. "
>she's trotting nonchalantly in my direction, all grinning
>Scootaloo and the other ponies are kind of frowning
"excuse me one minute"
>i'm coming to meet her
>Diams: "Hello... so. you're new here? What do you think about this town? Isn't it bigger than Glasscow? Moo~ You don't look like a cowboy..."
"say, ...if you took off your crown five minutes, will it be extremely painful... for me? I just want to look at this thing, out of curiosity.."
>Diamond Tiara's taking it off
>Diams: "You want one like this? Stephen? ello?"
>i'm examining it.
>so far it looks like the real thing
>try to break it into some rock on the floor
>Diams: "it's unbreakable, but don't get it dirt!"
>options [run away with a tiara worth a couple million pounds, or more] [torture/cook these critters to know where I can find more of these]
>give her tiara back, i'm gonna track here and find where she lives.
"hehe. Diamond Tiara wearing a tiara made out of pure diamond. I think we're gonna be friends, you and I."
>she's smiling at me as soon i said this.
>Diams: "well threre's not only jewelry that are made of diamonds, lots of things in construction, packaging, optics for a while."
"optics? Packaging... and ...oh yeah, construction"
>Diams: "every pony knows this, there's a factory near Ponyville, once compressed into some huge hammer, super tough to compress diamonds, it comes out like flocks, that were for a while used into beds, or packaging to protect fragile things, or thermal insulation, my dad's actually worki..."
>she's sincere. or she's fucking trolling me. i know how to recognize people who are liars. she's not lying. holy fuck these horses are tarded.
"you're fucking with me, right"
>Scootaloo's rushing in here with her friends
>scoots: "hey leave him alone! you better not piss off my friend!"
"don't worry scoots, we're discussing politely some ...pony logic and i want to confirm some stuffs this mong just said."
>diamond tiara looks terrified.
"you're telling me your people is mining diamonds like this; and makes packaging flocks out of it?"
>Sweetiebelle: "for her creations, my sister's using diamonds too. it's shiny and can used into a lot"
>Applebloom: "we can also mine Apples, y'can make a lot of things with apples,we makin' lot of money with apples"
>diams: "i.. do not really care much about diamonds you know, these just are, like, minerals,.. Stephen... don't look at me like this, you scare me...
>calm down you need a plan
"Diamond... We never had this discussion ever, you hear me?"
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>applebloom: "so you wanna help us selling apples?"
"i never been a huge fan of anything with an apple on it to begin with. i think mining diamonds is more intresting."
>Sweetiebelle: "you really want to work in... a rock farm? that's boring."
"in my world, diamonds are very rare and precious. I could buy two big houses with that thing on her head!"
>scootaloo is staring at me, trying not to laugh
>Sweetie: "Jewery is hard with it, it breaks your tools, quartz and silicon crystal reflects like rainbows, diamonds are just... er, crystalized... coal! it's shiny but not worth like sapphire, or other precious rocks."
>she makes a point.
"i gotta go. i'll be right back"
>kiss Scootaloo on the cheek
>find the fucking rock farm the fillies told me about
>i know someone is following me
>that fucking unicorn
>finally i learned to gallop, more or less
>it really looks like a farm. with holes on the ground. it's silent and ca-
>Twilight: "Steph.."
>Twilight: "AAAAA!"
"holy fuck you scared the shit out of me! you crazy sneaking behind people like that?"
>"Sorry... I was wondering where you're going... and, I'd like to talk with you if you have a moment."
"fine, let's discuss. If you really are this magic I might require your assistance"
>Twilight: "I, and other unicorns have been observing you since you appeared, out of nowhere, where do you come from?"
"fuck, here we go... "
>another, green unicorn is coming in
>Twilight: "Her name's Lyra Heartstrings, she's a doctor and she's kind of ... interested about you."
"okay... okay i see, you may think i'm completely crazy, right? i'm different, my accent's different, my behavior, but i'm not dangerous, i'm completely sane, i just needed to get some air and think about... stuffs in life. do you know what it means, having some rest, some privacy?"
>Lyra: "Stephen, you know, we're not here to harm you or anything"
>another flying horse. Blue with a rainbow colored tail is flying around

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>the three mares are circling the young colt
>it's like these unicorns probably could read in his mind with their fancy magic stuff
>he's alone, way too far from the village and trapped
>Steph is slowly walking backwards, swallowing his pride facing three female creatures hems ignoring the intentions.
>there. a cunning plan came to his mind.

"okay you won. i'm gona admit i don't come from a distant city in your pony land but really from another world, and i need something very precious that can still be found here, the ..clean, energetic future potential of our civilization depends on these crystals"
>Twilight:"...what are you talking about?"
"hmmm.. . metastable allotrope of carbon, or what you call diamonds; those shiny little rocks have atoms necessary to fuel our nuclear reactors and provide our energy, and keep our civilization running with actually zero carbon dioxide or dangerous nuclear power that could cause fallouts. I've been sent there to...retrieve this kind of mineral, that's all. without energy, there's chaos, and after chaos, there's wars since each country wants to pillage each other's resources."
>the three mares were obviously listening carefully
>i can't believe this seems to be working
>they either think I am completely insane, or they trust me.
>Lyra: "Actually I hoped to just examine you since you kept telling ponies about being, hm, a human. i do study humans and anthropology, along with more mythological creatures. Princess Twilight here is a sociologist and general"
>Twi: "Alright... now we know you're on a mission this changes everything and explains your presence here...Right?"
"i really am, three little ponies have found me on some field yesterday morning i think and I think the travel almost erased my memory, i normally have another appearance."
>twilight nods at the blue pony
>she's bringing out something from the blue pegasus's backpack
>my swatch!
>my blackberry!
"these are my stuff! where did you.."
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>Twi: "some robber has been arrested with these, a pony, and for some reason this device is generating an intense electromagnetic field interfering with every unicorns's senses. we found it"
>Rainbow:"Why did you carry something like that with you? we had to dismantle it to stop it from turning ponies insane"
"it's a phone, a ...mobile, wireless phone... it's basically a radio emitter, i communicate with my friends with it.. it's"
>Twi: "That's what I thought, we know what a radio is, here's the battery that goes with it. You won't find any diamond here, it's empty since over a decade, and it will be turned into a beet field soon... If you're looking for diamonds, I know someone who will get you what you want."

"Let's make a deal, I'm offering you my phone and my watch in exchange of a crate with diamonds! you could disassemble it and use its technology!"
>Lyra: "we already have radio, our radios and phones just doesn't interfere with our magic."
>gasp. what do they want of me
"what do you actually want in return? from me?"
>Twilight: "just examine you as we said, maybe at worse... one blood sample. We just need to make sure you're not dangerous for us, we have heard about humans being very unstable creatures. the fact you mentioned the potential of war in your place for resources confirmed our version.."
>she's closing in, teleporting next to me
>twi: "and as a scientist, i am really interested in you. the quizz you answered this morning denotes a remarkable knowledge and intelligence for your age, and i'd like to know how you use diamonds into nuclear reaction. C-N-O cycle, like in the sun I suppose?"
"i don't know, i just know i need to retrieve these. and go back home, that's all. you won't obtain any further info from me, i haven't got any, and even my brain's still scrambled."
>shit, if i had my hands right now, i'd put the battery back in my phone and run away from these bitches, but with the flying smurf thing behind...
"i'm following you"
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>pick my phone, attach my wristwatch on my tail, the only part of my body it could hang into
>Twi insisted that I'm following them and avoid talking too much
"...you know i like this place, it's a cute town and everything. i even made some friends, of course nothing between us"
>twilight's grinning

>the words of Scootaloo about the sentence for pedos and rapists in Equestria resonated again... "they put your balls into a huge machine called a drophammer, and they explode."
>i'm marching on that small paved road in the countryside, and we're back into ponyville.
>they don't believe one word or anything. they're not dumb, i know they know what i have in mind, what i know and what i don't know.
"...am i being detained?"
>Twi: "no you're not, why?"
"...just wondering, i don't know if you're in the police"
>Lyra: "absolutely not, we're mares of science..."
>Twi's whispering "and we've been watching you having some good time in Scootaloo's home..."

"LET ME GO! she never told me her age! HELP ! I AM INNOCENT! I WANT A LAWYER!"
>she's summoning some kind of spell that's forcing me to levitate in the air
>Lyra: "nope, ...you're not goin' anywhere."
>some pony's trotting in there, stopping by
>pony: "Twilight Sparkle? what are you two doing with this kid?"
>Twi: "My nephew, auntie's on travel and he's being silly... His name's ClampyGrumpy. He's a bit special.... You know"
>the pony's looking at me a weird way, then keeps walking
"She's a liar! This is a kidnapping call the fucking cops bro! Do something!"
>they're taking me into some house, after looking left and right, checking if they're not observed.
>Twi: "he's cute. I kind of envy Scootaloo"
>Lyra: "Excellent observation. it won't last long. we're just going to discover more about you..."
>Twi: "if what you say is the truth of course... You owe us that, if we give you what you want"
>Lyra: "you might want to give us some little services in return, right?"
>i'm genuinely scared now
This engrish is killing my brain. Please no more write.
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