If all philosophers were put inside a gladiator arena and had

All of them would get crushed ala hillsborough

>>9997349
Nihilistis would be the first ones to die

>>9997359
they would go like mainländer

I would love to see Sade going hardcore on Beauvoir

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*deconstructs the arena*

>>9997349
We've been over this.
Socrates wins every time

Depends on how broad your definition of philosopher is.

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>>9997349
robert brandom

Socrates or Sun Tzu.

>>9997544
And maybe Marcus Aurelius.

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How loose of a definition of "philosopher" are we going on?

Socrates would win imo
Wasn't he in stupedously good shape?

>>9997440
>>9997567
Those guys who if we held up a picture of their face and asked what they did, a valid answer could be plausibly given as 'philosopher'

>no socrates was jacked post yet
disappointing

Diogenes

>>9997602
Read the threat faggot.
You know to read?

>>9997349
Plato cuz he was a great wrestler and was jacked

>>9997544
>Sun Tzu.

Oh yeah a fucking four foot chink is going to beat people

>>9997635
You don't even know what I'm referring to
Please never respond to my posts ever again

The greeks would rock the everloving shit out of every other narrow shouldered beta male in the ring, and then there would be some jeers and intimidation between the big three and the pre-socratics before they would all decide to end it peacefully as a tie.

Stirner and Plato would be the last two standing

De Sade would rape everyone on the arena to death.

>>9997437
>>9997574
>>9997637
>>9997676
>>9997691

Now would you like to answer the question?

>Who would be killed first?

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>>9997664
Yeah i do faggot.
Read a book kid, this board is about literature

>>9997707
Kant or Schopenhauer

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>>9997727
I'd punch Kant

>>9997727
>>9997743
Nah it'd be Sartre, everyone would want to kill that pedo five foot degenerate

>>9997727
>Schopenhauer
Didn't he once send tumbling down the stairs one of his maids or something?

>>9997759
>RRRREEEEEEEEE I TOLD YOU TO GET MY TENDIES

He was the original /r9k/ sperg. He was a frail, autistic little virgin who laid down the philosophical foundation for all khv's. He'd probably twist his ankle and knock himself out before anyone could get their hands on him.

>>9997718
Why are you such a nigger

nietzsche would pull out his hammer and crush everybody

>>9997707
Nick Land would OD on amphetamines before anyone even got to him.

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>>9997349
Bruce Lee would wipe them all out simultaneously with Jeet Kune Do.

>>9997349
I would desu

Witty would knock everyone else out while they're still children.

>>9997640
>what is kung-fu

>>9997349
Stirner, marx