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>be me
>first day of classes, first class is writing
>an engineering major but still have to take this course anyway
>students are anxious to talk so the professor groups us in pairs
>professor tells us to get to know each other and then introduce the person we're paired up with and the last book they've read to the class
>get paired with a low functioning autist
>autist confesses that he doesn't read and asks me think up a book for him to the class
>suddenly, I see all of /lit/'s memes flashing through my mind's eye and decide I should meme
>I tell him I should say that he has read Harry Potter and he agrees without questioning
>I tell the autist to tell the class that the last book I've read was Moby-Dick
>he refuses since it contains the word 'dick' in it and doesn't want to embarrass himself in front of the cuties
>I innly laugh at the pleb and tell him to say Ulysses instead, but I insist that he say "by James Joyce"
>he agrees after struggling to pronounce ‘Ulysses’ for a while
Cont.
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>>9948955
>sit through the boring introductions of other students and why they recommend their shitty YA novels
>finally, it's our turn to introduce each other now
>I craftily tell him that I'll introduce him first just so that I get to have the spotlight at the end
>I introduce him and chuckle mockingly when I got to say that the last book he read was Harry Potter
>I sit confidently on the chair now and wait for him to introduce me and say “Ulysses by James Joyce” and get a reaction out of the professor
>he says it
>professor is visibly shaken and takes off his glasses
>”I-I've never had a student who has read Ulysses before. Has anyone read Ulysses?”
>lowly plebeians remain silent because they've never even heard of it, not even the cute English major girl sitting at the back
>I smile smugly, proud of my intellect
>professor asks me what I thought of it
>”I thought it was great. It was full of lewd gags and jokes and a lot of reference to the Greeks and references to Joyce's own life”
>professor asks if I would recommend it to the class
>”No, I would not. I would recommend that they start with the Greeks first in order to fully grasp Joyce's masterpiece”
>professor is clearly impressed and stands up and starts a lecture about Ulysses and how he spent quite some time studying it
>all the while I sit smiling like a creep with this girl right in front of me blinking at my weird smile
>and all the while knowing that I'm just a pseud who's never made it past the first page of Ulysses and just know a handful of memes from /lit/
Thank you, /lit/. I'm glad that I'm part of your community.
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same
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Telemachus and Nestor are not difficult at all. Proteus is where the fun starts. You should give them a try instead of being an actual pseud.
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this post physically pains me
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>>9948955
next time you make up a story, make it funny or interesting.
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>>9948958
You should've added something about the professor demanding a round of applause from the class for your literary achievement.
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in my history class we did the same thing. except the professor was a giant pleb too so the entire class spent 30 minutes circle jerking about Game of Thrones, Harry Potter, and Star Wars, while I sat there seething.
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