ITT: >favorite author >their weird sexual fetish/behaviors

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ITT:
>favorite author
>their weird sexual fetish/behaviors
>your weird sexual fetish/behaviors
>how you feel about your similarities or differences

>Proust
>His letters talk about himself being obsessed with masturbation. Many times a day he'd go at it. Like way more than you're average teenager, and it continued well into adulthood. (Plus if you include his homosexuality)
>Same as Proust, chronic addictive masturbator. But not homosexual. Way more than your average 4chan browser, like I'll do it in the bathroom at work. I did it on an airplane once just to see if it was different, but it wasn't.
>Learning about Proust's chronic masturbation was a breath of fresh air for me, not only did it make me feel like there were other people like me, but brilliant people. Sometimes after a clammy fap I'll shut my eyes and drift into half sleep, before I even clean myself up, and fantasize about being in heaven after I die and find a white marble castle. At the top of the highest tower, looking down his nose at God Himself, is Marcel Proust, turning and facing me, seeing my chafed palm and asymmetrically toned forearms, he'll shout "Lower the draw bridge, he's one of us!" And I will step forward, as if in going forward I had been gently displacing the liquid stream of happiness, and at the same time with a strange feeling of absolute power, and entering into my rightful place in eternity.
I am rock hard