Hey /lit/, i just wrote a short story and my brother told me

>>9911288
Oops wrong link here you go
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BTlNYdAz-v3DH35i14wpPk0zIcGAOrd-cdr6IIENZQs/edit?usp=sharing

>>9911288
This is just some code of conduct for the staff of a bar in Milwaukee

i stopped reading at the typo in the second sentence

>>9911297
amazing

>>9911370
nice dynamic IP

So what do you guys think?

I know it's supposed to be ironically terrible but your writing style is trash.
Are you an underaged esl? This is the kind of shit I wrote in early high school.

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>short sleeved pants
>Her clothing looked that of a conquistador but more complex and further in the future

maybe the pants had sleeves too

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143KB, 500x375px

>>9911297
What the fuck is wrong with you.

>>9911297
>It was music day :)

The next stylistic revolution will be to include emoji in our prose.

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The plot is so stupid it hurts and the descriptions make me want to stab someone. It's something a seven year old would write, so it's ok if you are around that age.