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>go to Barnes & Noble
>look for a copy of Lolita
>find it
>nervously bring it to the checkout section and hand the book to the cashier
>"Oh, Lolita? Hmmm...can I see some ID please?"
>"Huh? Wh-why?"
>"Oh no big deal, there's just an uh, age restriction on this book."
>"Oh, okay, I mean...I'm 27..."
>take out my ID and show it to her
>she uses some thing to scan it briefly
>another employee walks up to her
>the cashier whispers "I'm gonna add him to the list" (I don't think she realized I heard her)
>finally she gives me back my ID and rings up the book
>"Okay, that will be $26.99"
>pay for the book, take it and leave
>on the way home I swear there was a black car tailing me until a certain street
>mfw
>>
skitzophrenia is no joke anon.
>>
>go on Amazon
>look for a copy of Lolita
>find it
>nervously one-click purchase it
>swear the screen went black for half a second
>fast forward two months
>receive invitation to an Amazon board members birthday party
>decide to check it out
>have a fantastic time
>>
>>9874511
>>"Okay, that will be $26.99"
I hope you tipped.
>>
>find Lolita at public library
>check it out
>go home
>start reading it
>fall asleep
>wake up paralyzed
>see men in suits and shadows for faces standing up above me whispering to each other about how they're going to dissect me alive
>pass out
>wake up in a UFO being probed by reptilians
>>
>>9874594
How much should you tip in a second-hand bookstore by the way? This has always confused me. I don't just want to pay sale price because obviously they undercut themselves, but I don't know what an appropriate % for a book salesman/saleswoman is.
>>
>find copy of Lolita on ground
>go to reach for it
>suddenly surrounded by an unnatural glow
>begin levitating upwards
>aliens use me for a weird sex game
>>
>>9874638
>they undercut themselves
No they don't, someone who owns a used bookstore not suddenly any less awful than the average business owner. The only they care about is money, take off the rise tinted glasses.
>>
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>chad stride into a hip local coffee shop
>see a cute (8/10) girl reading Lolita
>say "I love that book. I haven't read it yet, though. Can I borrow your copy?"
>she gives it to me
>starts trying to give me her snapchat
>ignore her and go ballin' out of control mode on the book
>walk out already reading it
>get halfway down the block when a hot (9/10) girl starts talking to me
>say it's my favorite book and ask if she wants to go back to my place and discuss Nab-oh-kahv's work
>she says yes
>throw that shit out in the corner trash can
>pound that bitch so hard it kills her mother and makes me her new dad
>>
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>>9874713
B-but what if it's a hardcover a-anon?
W-what then?
>>
>>9874744
>not printing the pirated .pdf
I bet you also rent DVDs.
>>
>>9874511
New to /lit/. Is that a meme here?
>>
>>9874533
LOL
>>
>>9874511
>>go to Barnes & Noble
that was your first mistake
>>
>>9874867
Lolita is a meme, yes. The OP has used this template to craft a stunning tale about its power on normies.
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