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> be visiting Dublin and taking a tour bus
>the Irish bus driver providing commentary asks over the PA if anybody on board has read Ulysses
>I raise my hand
>"Uh-oh! Best watch out everybody, because PROFESSOR YANK here has read Ulysses"
>"All hail the might intellect of PROFESSOR YANK, who has sat down, and yes, read every dense and allegorical page of James Joyce's modernist masterpiece, Ulysses"
>everybody on the bus is now staring at me
>whenever he stops the bus to point out a literary landmark he runs it by me, "the professor"
>"say professor, do recognize that building over there?"
>I don't know and shrug
>"Sorry folks, I guess PROFESSOR YANK hasn't done his homework! That building to our right is of course the iconic hotel where Nora Barnacle, James Joyce's muse, worked as a chambermaid for a number of years. Not to worry, I'm sure PROFESSOR YANK will get the next one"
>this continues for an hour and half
>the Dutch girls in the back of the bus are laughing at me and making fun of the flat cap I bought on Grafton street
>when I finally get off at Kilmainham Gaol the entire bus cheers
>as he's closing the doors, the driver says over the intercom "See you next term, PROFESSOR YANK"
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you got what you deserved
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>>9819074
Then everyone stood up and clapped
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>>9819074
good pasta but seen it too many times to care
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>>9819104
it's like the Pynchon one, it never ceases to be amusing
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how have i never seen this pasta im not even new
this is great
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>>9819318
Could you please post the Pynchon one for the newfag here?
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>>9819348
Pynchons my fav writer for sure because my fav thing in books is goofs, gags, jokes and rambunctious behavior, and his books are full to the brim of it. Every novel is like one of those novelty snake cans, you open the book & POP you get a face fulla snakes and you fall back cackling. The mad mind, the crack genius, to do it! and then you think hmmm whats he gonna do next, this trickster, and you pick the book back up and BZZZZZZZZZZ you get a shock and Hahahahahah you've been pranked again by the old pynchmeister, that card. "Did that Pynch?" he says, laughing yukyukyukyuk. Watch him as he shoves a pair of plastic buck teeth right up into his mouth and displays em for you- left, right, center- "you like dese? Do i look handsome???" Pulls out a mirror. "Ah!" Hand to naughty mouth. And you're on your ass again laughing as he snaps his suspenders, exits stage right, and appears again hauling a huge golden gong.
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>>9819074
Someone please make an associated wojak cartoon.
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Good post.
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>>9819776
You might want to lay off the carrots there Buggsy.
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Penguin editions are total garbage.
>weeks before birthday
>give my mother hints that I'd like to read Dubliners
>say it's my birthday so she can afford to buy me a good edition and not a cheap paperback
>spend the nest few weeks talking about how magnificent an author Joyce is
>Birthday
>mother shows me a present in the shape of a nice hardcover book
>feel good about this, proud of my mother for the first time in my life
>as soon as she hands me the book, all that goes away
>feel under the wrappings a shitty floopy paperback
>open it and see it's a fucking Penguin edition
>sternly tell mother that Everyman editions are the books that are aesthetically beautiful and long lasting
>she keeps telling me that my present is a centennial edition and that the artwork looks pretty, as if that makes it better
>tell her this Penguin piece of shit will fall apart after only a few rereadings
>demonstrate my point by opening and closing the poorly made Penguin edition just a few times
>it rips apart really easily and turns into a pathetic pile of paper on the floor
>tfw she won't buy me the Everyman version because I've been acting bad
She told me I could have just made an exchange if I didn't "destroy" the book I had, but I don't want another poor reader to suffer.
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>>9819419
Fuck. I'm heartbroken, but this post always makes me feel better. Thanks.
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>>9819785
this one just isnt funny
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>>9819419
i-i-i-i-say i sure do w-w-w-wonder what he's gonna do with that g-g-g-g-gong
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>>9819776
You better lay off those carrots bugs old boy
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i've been away what is this bugs stuff
Thread posts: 17
Thread images: 3
Thread images: 3