Anyone else here /literarygenius/? This is not ironic, or a

I'd expect a self-proclaimed literary genius to know that pretention isn't a word.

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>>9802355

>>9802363
i laughed at this one.

8,5/10

>>9802371
True geniuses invent words.

>>9802355
tryhard pasta. delete your account, virgin.

>>9802371
But I declare it one, and so it is.

http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Pretention

I, too, am a literary genius. I am fluent in 7 languages, all of yours plus Arabic. I discerned your identity already based on the details you provided and, I'm sad to inform you, have already surpassed your rather infantile œuvre. Your attractive female professor informed me that, after reading through my work, she was mistaken in her judgment of you; she said my genius eclipsed yours by far, and rather than simply having sex with her I in fact had a four-hour tantric lovemaking session with both her and her subtly more attractive twin sister, an astrophysics professor. I met Bloom (though he insisted I call him simply Harold) scarcely fifteen minutes after you had departed him, and after an even more detailed conversation about Faulkner, he told me he was overjoyed to finally speak with the first person he truly felt was not a "pseud fag" (his own harsh words, not mine) and could finally die with peace in his heart.
I would post my work here, but each piece I've created is a sublime melding of all the highest media, impossible to translate to a format as crude as a Senegalais woodcarving forum. I have already published my work and will soon take up simultaneous study at both Oxford and the École Normale Supérieure, though I will occasionally take prolonged breaks to explore more patrician former soviet republics than somewhere like Russia of which you are doubtlessly unfamiliar.
I have long since given up hope of finding anyone like me on this website or elsewhere, as a man such as myself could not conceivably occur more than once in generations; I would attempt to engage you in conversation about literature and philosophy, but I'm afraid my condescension would be noticeable enough to offend.

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>>9802355
>>9802407

>>9802407
>tfw he doesnt speak Javanese
>tfw hes so desperate for attention he writes this shitpost so he can rp with /lit/
>tfw we are busy shitting on one another and he "spares us" his opinion

>>9802407
Alas, my literary genius surpasses even yours. I am fluent in 8 languages, all yours plus french (how can someone claim to be well read without reading the true french masters in their original pen?). I turned down that same female professor, deeming her unworthy of my time, but i heard her whisper to her beautiful astrophysicist sister that I was far more attractive than both of you combined. But I continued to walk past them, indifferent to their petty gossip.
I too met Bloom, and brought him to tears with my groundbreaking insight on Faulkner. He confessed that the stature of my literary genius made him reconsider the entire Western Canon.
I won't even pretend this Catalan Jenkum forum is a viable place for me to display my works of unparalleled genius. It would likely be so far beyond even your comprehension that it would come off as nonsense, when in reality it is densely packed with obscure references (many french) that a couldn't expect the two of you to grasp.
I am already humbling myself to an incomprehensible degree by acknowledging your existence, but I'm afraid any hope you have for further comment will be in vain.
My penis is 9 inches and thick as a coke can.

>>9802387
Possimpible
Linkativity

>>9802418
Only baristas speak Javanese

>Anon, your intelligence scares me

>>9802455
>>9802407
>>9802355

Bing bong, Ding dong. Woop dee doop dee doop. Deepity doo... doo. Deepity doo... doo. Deepity dong. Wabba dubba dubba da. Deep deep bing bing.

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>>9802355
>>9802407
>>9802455
>tfw to intelligent too waste this much time on a shitpost

I know that we're just shitposting here, but it brought be great sadness to realize that there isn't an uberpatrician about to publish a work of art so powerful that it destroys our society's degeneracy with the spoken word

thanks faggots

>>9802413
amazing, true thinker

>>9802387
true autists invent words and expect other people to use them.

op: i once got into a diploma writing course by knowing the administrator was into Jane Austen, so i submitted a chapter of "Persuasion" written in a cyberpunk mode.

that doesn't make me a literary genius. it makes me a whore.

>>9802407
This would be 10/10 if you left out the overused "basket weaving forum" meme

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Posting in a patrish thread

>>9803382
this

>>9803643
t. alberto barbossa

>>9802455
Would it be considered a gaffe or faux pas on /lit/ to note that reading the punchline to this last night made me laugh very hard?

The further thought occurred, after chuckling for twenty seconds or more, how will the other anons top this?

Seems like no one has even tried, displaying a wise deference to the alpha.

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>>9802355
Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch

>>9802455
>a couldn't expect the two of you

>>9802355
Please, this time be a good fella and do put me on the screencap. I wish it ever so.

>>9802363
The only valid answer to shitposting

Well I beat Spiderman 2 for the Playstation in one sitting.

>>9802455
kek

I hate to say it OP but this is a sub-par imitation of the Good Will Hunting-esque shitposter who used to post on /lit/ all the time.

>>9802407 >>9802407 >>9802355

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>9802355
>king of manlets

ruined the pasta

always remember /lit/ pride is a sin

>>9802413
that guy is spot on

>>9802355
For some reason, it makes me unbearably sad that this is all a lie.

>>9803858
ok now stop talking because you're spitting and regarding your bitch, you are full of diseases

>>9802413
SAVAGE AF
A
V
A
G
E

A
F

>>9802363
Fucking appropriate. Good job

>>9802413
Kek. Flawed logic aside, he's not wrong.

>>9802407
9.5/10. Holy shit i blew air out of my nose like i haven't done in years.

wow you really are smart people in here i find myself quite stupid in comparison it's hardly explainable. Ive lost my wallet today or was it 3 days ago? Who knows that anymore but my grandfather is senile and my grandgrandmother died yesterday but i wasn't told why was that? I am also clever i once said but is that true? Sometimes my soul flies into a new location where then my fate would be decided by some unearthly object. But when i read Nietzsche it makes more sense. You see? More people can read Nietzsche but woud they really do it? I don't care but your posts, if they are true i think i could still rivel your intelligence. I don't believe in IQ tests for they are shitty operationalizations of intelligence but i can say that one time while i was travelling down the rota sepia inwards and indoors towards a new home i was evading flying blooming flowers who were hard as stone and THICK as the superintelligent guys cock and there were souls flying to new lcations and i pointed at them and asked God: What arey they doing here, why are they moving to new locations but god was dead and my isolation absolufinitude. I am afraid that my intellignence will alienate me from the discoursive judgement being empassed on my subjective metaxtextual semiotic techniques but if you understood not me but yourself you wouldn't even ask yourself the question as to how you are intelligent or not or whether it makes sense to be living or not. OKAY LISTEN HERE YOU FUCKING IDIOT: Technology is existential.

Ok god said and send the souls to another location, i remember but the souls were moving in whirlwinds across the furnace and a man walked out of the souls and closed the doors quietly as to not disturb the semen dwelling in the souls but the semen looked out of the window and pointed his tumb up at the guy and there ware many thumb ups by more semens so it was all a-okay and i wiped off the sweat of my brows because i awas stressed but now relieved and i waved at the man and he said: I'm Harold Bloom and i drew circles into sand and then threw red colour on them and told him to choose one circle and he choose the one in the middle of the left side and there i wrote a numnber beneath it which was the number seven but the number seven signified terrible things, like you can live 4x7 years of life and not lose your wallet once but then you lose it and in truth it's not even the true reason of defeat you figure, you figure there ismore with the number seven and postmodernism. For it was always more than jst a pure numbers game. It's intuitive. If you wish to understand whats going on read The Art of War, if you don't do it then atleast save your BEST FRIEND from falling into madness while retreating into the dark forests filled with dangerous pokemons. If you don't save him there he may kill himself for he would lose all hope. But if you save him he will return into your fierce and motivated rival, trying to surpass you, endrosing the "agon" and got many styles.

>>9802455
Kindred spirits these hommes <9 de parloir. Yet futile transgression compared to my vehement radical use of 10 languages like yours illuminated by the legendary danish language. Everyday we walk through ourselves; on special days i spiritually climaxed through the tender calves of the delightful astrophysicist littlesister. I deemed however her soul's modality equipped with tormented sorrows which with the ruggedness of a mastodon i explored in my second year of life. Faulkner and Bloom are merely psychological aftereffects of chaos magic underneath a quantum custode thus worlds and the worlds of the worlds matches the symbolic order of non-transposing übgrantlichkeit to quant-tub-n'wawa. Subsidizing this Timor-lestian leekforum by my angelic presence must hereby forego whence the call of Siberia reaches closure.

>>9802355
Are you me? I am in the exact same position, Bloom, the female English professor, everything.

La Vida oca - that is how i owuld usmarize my life if i were to compare to the three or four superintellignetn fellows in this thread. What does La Vida Loca comprise? You don't know this? HAHAHAHAHAHHA. You must be really stupid then. Vivo la vida loca, that's my motto and it has lead to me reaching absurdly high iq levels of over 9000. Rickrolling for a lifesylte that's how i ROLL. The most important part os sex in a mythological context, though such context must be artifical to it's core as to emphasize the impotence of male desire, and then you engage in doggystyle sex with imported prostitutes from islamic countries, imported by HUSSEIN who is not my npresident as to humiliate his islamian ancestors. La Vida Loa, la vvida chiquita it means to undermine expectations wheever you can and to unleash the dionysian element. When there is CAUSE then uprott it, put two spoons of salt on it, then hold it over fire as to roast it. When it's bristeling with fat then you eat it but chew well as to not fart too much and don't give it to refugees because if you give it once they will return for more and also not for russians for they opresed my homecountriy for many years. and if you are careful and your open your ears and close your eyelids and you witness something of much greater perfection, like a booming voice, singing in a forgotten tongue of mysteries lost. Oh yes, mysteries of whom men once was aware and now have been lost in the deep ruble of perverted civilization. I can feel the wind, i can feel it crawling up my buttcheeks and also cleaning my butt while doing so and massaging my hips and lifting up my loincloth and giving my nub a little tug and then playing with my belly button and the drums beat wildly in the wide foreign forests with blue piercing eyes. The animals scream in agony, they scream they do not sing. My mother, where are you. Mama. Mama come back, i am all alone in this field and the thndrstorms and the booming voice, is it singing of a god? Is god not dead? What has been there, what was there. I can feel a roaring within the earth, a pulasting flow of lava - the destroyer and creator of all live and a voice oh a voice now lighter, higher and it singing in the same lost tongue. The voice is driven mad by desire but the madness remains in form, though ever aalmost bursting out, creating a tension close to implosion as if the great mistery of all life was carried within it, the excess of all existance desiring to find itself expressed but the great carriers of such mystery must hold it back, for the truth, oh the truth, the expression, the reality as spoken word carries with it a violence to destroy what we know to be the individuality, to destroy all nderstand, all recognizing, all categorizing. Nietzsche once defined it as the dionysian, as the commution with the primordial one, a liberation which can only be expressed through the clear apollonian vision of the dream, but no, ohn no! Noliberation, n expression! Wagner taught him

I am glad to finally have met fellows as intelligent as me. I'm a teacher's teacher at Harvard which means that the boys who teach regular guys at harvards re actually being teched by me in such eqcuisite subjects as alge bra, english, deutsch, spanish, maths and geography. I once asked a man where Argentina was and he said it was next to greece and ii gave him an F he failed the course and then walked down to the memorial of David Foster Wallace and Thomas Pyncheon was also there and he made jokes about the guy and how lw his iq must be as to not tbe informed of the fact that argentina is matter of factly a nation in south american and is situation BELOW the Equator and ot above it. But thomas pnycheon slipped on a fake banana made of plastic andh e only pretend to be slipping and did an excessive flip forward while doing a cartooney noise but nobody watched and feeling resentment for the underappreciative non-existant audience he grumbled and mumbled and decided to write a new book out of spite thbecause otherwise his genius was unrelated to the daily l lifes of others but he stumbled upon a japanese version of Tenshi no Tamago by Yukio Mishima in which a character once said: But my friend hahaha, Art is but a shadow... and Pyncheon went like: Damn my dog, he said to his little dog rowdy, he said: Rowdy this is true. Art is but a shadow. Art is nothing but a shadow. A shadow of what? A shadow o9f man, of true man. And I've been in the shadows for far too long,. I#ve been living in seclusion while doing orgiastic rituals but only in my novels and not in real life and as such all that i had ever done was create art which relished in the joy of being human, as instead of doing it myself and thus transform myself intot he ultimate piece of art. Rowdy barked and ran after a ball that rolled down the stars into the basement where the ball would then lay and rowdy would try to catch it but whenever he'd jump forward, ready to kill, he would chicked out and whimper and run away for 1 meter and then prepare for a new offensive but the ball was a master of the defensive arts, he was well versed in the studies of philosophy and had learned the importance of kindness and as such let Rowdy live but only this time and so Rowdy saved himself from a devastating counterattack and instead sfolowed some smell he had never smelled before and walked up 3000 stairs until he reched the highest tower of the pyncheon mansion where pyncheon would watch eople living private lifes with a superintense magnifying glass that actually spanned the whole of north america and he knew everything about you, he oiterally watched you whenver you masturbated or when you, in acontrolled and contained way, unnersed yourself in your most ful desires and started very complicated google searchs as to just hit that perfect spot of your intensely indiviiduated sxeual fetish that expressed way too much of your psychological conflicts and which made Pyncheon basically have you by the balls an

it's cute that you guys are pretending to be any smart. I'm a woman and i live in the future, at this very moment i look at the time square in rain and it's quite futuristiv i must say. It's very neon-light heavy and there are very slick and cinematic advertisements running there, working with subtly and well-arranged imagery and acrtresses operated to erfection though as Nicholas Windin Refn Mumbled 77 years ago: beauty isn't everything it's the only thing, so who am i to judge? Esppecially asi am not only extremely smart but also superbly sexually interesting and have magnifique looks which earned me the nr. 2 spot in the award for most succesful video games poster girl, even though the jury for this contest was just me and my roommate, a dead singaporean whore won, she died by my hands when she beat me at my own competition but second place is still significant, it's quite god. I barely have any worms living insde my brain anymore, they got removed by futurustic laser equipment that in your time wasn't even inveted. But this is not at all. Sometimes the Times square floats, it floats across waves of water creaed by the rain. All your science fiction moives were right, they were based on some instinctual futuristic hindsight that industrialization would lead to a shit ton of rain which would be natures revenge from mans destruction of earth, the angels singing as the world was flooded are just the cherry on the top of the bomb.

Now youi are saying, i can see it, but nonetheless: Why is Reloxa Donnatella so god damn intelligent and can she even prove it? Hello, i say laughing ironically and moving my hands in origimai-ways , hellooOOooo i shout at their face and display my intircante knowledge on the deep and significant lore of Twin Peeks. Now some damn nice cup of coofee i said and smiled like bad coop would smile if he would ever smile but i wouold smile if i were bad coop because if ia m evil which i am, due to sirit osession, would i then not be happy just as i am right now? My evaluators being totally mindblown by this post-wittgensteinian display of rhetorical techniques would play NBA Live for 7 hours afterwards in China bt i don't know why or how. Being so depressed by justafter i had triumphed over my parents intelligence commttee i walked to my therapist and said down in front of his door and shoock the door and screaemd LET ME IN. LET ME IN LET ME IN. and it was actually the door of my gynocologist with a big sharky grin on his face, and there was a man standing right next to him which looked like a bear and which looked like a man who would have sex very egocentrically and not taking care of his shape and then fall asleep with his dick still oozing semenal liquids and i roared at him and cralwe u the walls into the vents and there climbed down the vents until i reached the underworld, the city beneath the city, where lone poor man would seek child prostitues who themself were seeking money as to save their families and i would fol

>>9802355
>You pathetic posers
I stopped reading right there.

also,
>>9802363
lol'd. This is actually the kind of material OP deserves as a reply.

>>9802355

Is it possible? No, it can't be.
Are you perhaps the personification of all literature, philosophy and IQ questions ever asked on Quora in the 6 years of its existence?!

>>9805443
That meme has been around since before you even knew what literature was, my boy.

i'm 12 whats this

>>9802355
> I once made my attractive female English professor break down into tears with my genius. It was like the scene in Good Will Hunting where the math professor breaks down after Will easily solves the math problems he was given

If you have to use such a direct analogy to demonstrate your """genius,""" then you have none.

>>9802413
But what about ballcrush fetishists?

>>9805825
this

>tfw intellectual
fuck off bich

>>9802355
Are you the guy who is writing the 600000+ word autobiography?

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Bicycle Playing Cards is a brand of playing cards. Since 1885, the Bicycle brand has been manufactured by the United States Printing Company, which, in 1894, became the United States Playing Card Company (USPCC) of Cincinnati. "Bicycle" is a trademark of that company. The name originates from the first back design which featured penny-farthings.Bicycle is a standard 52-card deck of red and black colored cards. Also known as the French deck, each card may have one of the four suits: spades, clubs, diamonds, and hearts. The numbers on the cards range from 2 to 10, then proceed onward to "Jack", then "Queen", "King", and "Ace". The "Ace" has also been known to be the first card in a typical deck. The Bicycle trademark is usually printed on the Ace of spades. The deck comes with the hand ranks of poker, an information card, and two jokers.

Bicycle playing cards are sold in a variety of designs. There are a series of Vintage backs, bridge, pinochle, Pastel color cards (which are colors light blue, lime green, and pink) and Lo Vision cards that are designed for the visually impaired. These Lo Vision cards contain large numbers on the face in a light blue color. Other types of cards with varying backs and colors are produced for magic. During World War II cards were produced that, when submerged in water, could be peeled apart and both halves had a map on the inside. When all the cards were put together it made a large map. These were supplied to POWs so if they escaped they would have a map. One deck is located in the International Spy Museum in Washington, DC and there may be one other in a private collection. Modern reproductions have been sold in limited editions. The company provided crates of Ace of Spades cards for U.S. soldiers in the Vietnam War. It was erroneously believed that the Viet Cong believed the Ace of Spades to be a symbol of death and would flee at the sight of the card. In actuality, the Ace initially meant nothing to the Viet Cong, however it may have achieved some psychological impact through its use in propaganda and as a Death Card being placed upon dead bodies. The belief that the enemy was afraid of the cards improved the U.S. soldiers' morale. The origin of the cards is attributed to a letter written by a Lt. Charles W. Brown in early 1966 to Allison F. Stanley, the President of the United States Playing Card Company.

>>9805825
Rub tummy and go to sleep

Nice quality thread, /lit/.

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>>9802363

>>9802355
Welcome to /lit/

Many literary geniuses like you frequent this board so you'll fit right in. Be sure to download a few images of carrots if you're going to make any new threads.

Looking forward to interacting with you in the future!

Cool story bro

Sup Ancaps.

My IQ is 166. For those of you unfamiliar with IQ, this means I have "genius-level" intelligence. Unlike most of the millenials, I'm a Republican and a proud Trump supporter.

I also have synaesthesia, and absolute pitch. Things as diverse as math, music, and art come naturally to me and I get straight A's without studying much at all. I also am able to understand music at a deeper level than most people.

While most people my age spend their free time listening to mainstream music, I spend my free time listening to works such as Jerry Garcia's Cats Under the Stars, Frank Turner's Sleep Is for the Week.

All this and I'm an 19 year old.

>>9805353
Right listen here you swine, I'm a INTP 180+ IQ and I am ABOVE you, ok? Do you get it? I am spiritually and intellectually ABOVE you, you are nothing to me but another sub human pig that I can pick apart piece by fucking piece in any kind of debate you foolishly engage me in. You think you can go around disrespecting superior Japanese culture, being rude to maidens online and even thinking about believing in any kind of deity? You better think again kiddo. I will destroy you, I will show no mercy if you even so much as think about being an ignorant swine around me or any other intellectual superior again, mark my words swine, you will be torn apart before you can even pray to that pathetic fairytale you call a "God".

You've been warned.