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“When a boy discovers that he is more given into introspection

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“When a boy discovers that he is more given into introspection and consciousness of self than other boys his age, he easily falls into the error of believing it is because he is more mature than they. This was certainly a mistake in my case. Rather, it was because the other boys had no such need of understanding themselves as I had: they could be their natural selves, whereas I was to play a part, a fact that would require considerable understanding and study. So it was not my maturity but my sense of uneasiness, my uncertainty that was forcing me to gain control over my consciousness. Because such consciousness was simply a steppingstone to aberration and my present thinking was nothing but uncertain and haphazard guesswork.”

This is a bit too close to home.
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why would that be a bad thing though, to be like that? would you really prefer it the other way?
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>>9775021
That's like asking someone who has perfected walking on one leg if they would prefer to have both. Of fucking course. Mishima breaks my heart a lot. More than dazai who was just stuck in self pity.
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>>9775015
Is he talking about being a closeted homosexual?
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>>9775021
What you're asking is like asking 'why would you ever want to breathe on auto-pilot instead of manual breathing?'
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>>9775034
>>9775060
that's his argument restated but it's not really convincing because much more comes from introspection than just anxiety
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>>9775015
me too anon... Is there any way to break out of this? I've felt in this way for as long as I could remember. I just want to interact with people without my brain moving at a thousand miles an hour. I've been thinking of just going on a 'stop giving a fuck' binge where I actively embarrass myself so much that I learn to stop caring
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>>9775122
Just be. I stopped caring and decided that life was better for gaining experiences than introspection
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>>9775144
Introspection is useful with regards to developing critical thinking, and having a decent rapport with oneself but too much can lead to doubt or paranoia. Especially when faced with social pressure about fitting in and thoughts about existence.
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>>9775198
Oh shit I thought I was crazy this whole time
Is there anything to do to stop thinking so much?
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>>9775236
Get a submissive gf who needs your ego to fill in for hers. Fuck her raw every night.
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I think that those kind of "automatically themsevels" people are less conscious than others. There are people which are more similar to animals tha humans. They have a narrow capacity of thoughts, consciousness
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>>9775265
Yeah, I'm not a fan of my self doubt and anxiety but I don't really prefer the alternative either. But maybe if I had the alternative I wouldn't care.
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>>9775015

Another victim of heteronormative capitalism
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>>9775015
is this from sun and steel?
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>>9775304
i think so, just like from the first few pages
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https://docs.google.com/file/d/0BwGbhGWPReybN1dGcDFRYTA5dms/edit

thread theme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjgCQTulrA0
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>>9775304
Nah, it's confessions of a mask.
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>>9775122
>I actively embarrass myself so much that I learn to stop caring
This is literally the only way out. The only way to get over your fears is to confront them, you may think it sounds cliche as fuck but theres a reason why its cliche as fuck.
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>>9775244
>get a gf

Haha yeah I can't believe I never realized how easy it was this whole time haha just get a gf
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mindfulness and meditation helped me a lot with this
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>>9775122
I have no shame at this point. I mean like Sam Hyde levels and I can say it doesn't accomplish anything except maybe alienate you more. Having no shame and making a spectacle of yourself is no substitute for having a good personality and genuine confidence.
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>>9775382
>the cure to excessive introspection is excessive introspection
what did he mean by this?
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>>9775384
Agreed. A spectacle i think only furthers your depravity.. you think in your mind you're going to be alright in making a fool of yourself because you won't be showing your true colors in a sense, so you aren't really gambling truly. I suggest putting yourself out there for real, as you are.
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>>9775401
But I am a spectacle. I am really just shit. Superfluous man desu
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>>9775409
then make yourself better. be a better person, try. fail and try again. work out, read, be nice. be polite.
take a lesson from Wittgenstein, renounce your wealth and all that you have and work in service of others.
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>>9775060
It depends on what you're striving for. If happiness is your end goal, which at the very least it is for many depressives and literary writers, then an unconscious life would be preferable compared to what they have at present.

If you're looking for something more, try to define what that might be. For most of the rest, it usually looks like "I want happiness, but I want to be happier than all those assholes whose happiness has tortured me my entire life."

Either way, unconscious life seems preferable.
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>>9775304
>sun and steel
why is every copy of this book like usually $30 or more?
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>>9775430
>B urself
>myself sucks see
>No I mean really B entirely urself

Thank you Chad. There is really no authentic personality though. Just some philosophical ideas and a megaphone
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>>9775015
But not introspecting is a risky thing to do. It's all fun and games if you're a natural chad who will get a 10/10 gf and a 6 figure starting salary. But if you're a natural loser it's better to introspect and realize that than to act naturally. An example of a natural chad who ruined himself with introspection is Menuhin. He was a genius as a kid and later in his life he became worse and worse.
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>>9775015
The Japanese are a people possessed of such deep cultural pathos as to make their suffering incomprehensible to the outside observer.
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>>9775481
stop weltering in your own mess, and stop feeling so sorry for yourself.
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>>9775521
I always have a hard time buying into the belief that there exists cultural gaps that transcend common human experience.
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Introspection of gender is not a bad thing. He only thought it was a bad thing because of his upbringing. Mishima was obviously queer, a fact he was uncomfortable with, and overcompensated. He was playing a part that he clearly didn't fit in.
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people say that Mishima was a sexually insecure beta because of confessions of a mask, but isn't it merely an archetypal character he wanted to condemn and critique
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>>9775603
When all you have is a gender theory hammer, everything looks like a gender theory nail.
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>>9775575
I didn't say I feel sorry for myself. More accurately I feel sorry for everyone. But lets not forget you started in on this whole nietzshean self-improvement crap. I was just saying social dynamics are pretty subtle and getting over social anxiety isn't half the battle to social competency
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>>9775705
This is a horrible metaphor, and I doubt you really know what you are talking about.
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>>9775779
'If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail'

Note how you chose to shoehorn the word Gender into your post. Its an awfully one-dimensional analysis

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_the_instrument
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>>9775603
>introspection of gender
gender is social, and thereby public, and therefore inaccessible via introspection
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>>9775595
Because you're a disgusting humanist.
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>>9775866

Yeah caring about people. What a monster
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>>9775871
Humanism is everything but 'caring'. Humanism reduces humanity to something simple, systematic, and easy to worship. Ancient cultural pathea are reduced to mere platitudes.

Humanism hates humanity.
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>>9775878
You're the one reducing it to "You can't understand what he's saying because you're not Japanese"
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>>9775878
>ancient cultural pathea

Sounds like some petersonian bullshit
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>>9775401
I am a fool, though.
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Why do japs act like mishima never existed and never reference him or talk about him at all? Is it because they're embarrassed by him? Is it like how they never talk about anything negative like the fact that they hang people etc? The movie about his life was made by americans
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>>9775928
That's not reduction, that's expansion.
>>9775934
Peterson is a humanist and an absolute hack.
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>>9775965
He was a self in a hegemonical culture. They don't really venerate any writers in Japan. Just people who make commercially successful products and become brands. Well, apart from historical figures
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>>9775244
That's merely a cheat. You're hiding your anxiety behind dependency, the mutual exchange of control - and lack of control.

>>9775265
>>9775278
I don't know if normality and a narrow consciousness coincide.
Since we're discussing Mishima, consider The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea; Noboru, Fusako, and Ryuji often fail to communicate their inner lives to each other. Ryuji especially, in his first dinner date with Fusako. He can't intimate to her the visions of destiny he believes to be reserved for himself. To Fusako, he comes off as a goof. But it doesn't really dampen their relationship. Their understanding of each other, their physical and emotional coincidence, is increasingly natural as they become more intimate.
It's cliche, but people aren't automatic, they aren't different in a fundamental way. The difference is a gap.
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>>9775390
“There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth: not going all the way, and not starting.”

In other words, the flame must burn itself off.
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>>9775390
Meditation is not the kind of self-indulgent introspection that you'd call excessive.
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>natural
>self
And why is it that the Japanese just can't seem to get over the spook of society? Was Ishinomori really the only one that saw through the bullshit? There's always this underlying violence in how they go about things, like they're certain they'll be given the death penalty for not wearing a tie to work.
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>>9776038
>Was Ishinomori really the only one that saw through their bullshit?
How so?
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>>9776082
Ishinomori's protagonists are staunchly individualistic. Kamen Rider and Cyborg 009 get to Pynchon levels of paranoia and Kikaider establishes personal sin/guilt as necessary for a complete human being. His villains tend to be collectives or organizations trying to suppress the monsters they created, in comparison to the more typical individual Japanese supervillains against superheroes who win because they have friends.
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>>9776114
thanks for the explanation, makes sense
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>>9775015
>>9775442
No joke, these two posts have made me faintly suicidal.
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>>9775390
Meditation isn't introspection
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>>9776416
Read Plato's Republic
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>>9775713
>I feel sorry for everyone
As soon as you learn that every single person on this planet has a lesson to impart that will make you better for having learned it, you'll start being more enjoyable to be around.
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>>9775039
That, and being unable to be comfortable in his own skin on general.
From what I understand, he may not have been a flamboyant faggot, but he did not go to extremes to hide his homosexuality later on, when he was a man.
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>>9776730
>>9775039
He's not talking about that at all, you fucking pleb cunts.

He's referring to a moment in his youth in which he likely looked around at his peers and realised, "I'll never have that, I'll never have the life they will all likely lead". Though young, he astutely tuned in to the fact that some people live as drones, and they always will. No amount of "teaching" can change them, there is no lesson to give them; they will live on auto-pilot, and that is all they can ever do or be.
He was living on the other side now, he had left them behind. His auto-pilot was disengaged, he saw the world through simultaneously fresh, but tired eyes for the first time, and became an observer, as opposed to just a participant... and he would remain this way until he died.

This is babby's first "redpill" and occurs in all intelligent folks at a young age.

His peers would be happier, and he knew it, but he would be more free.
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>>9776451
Thanks anon, but how is that supposed to help?
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>>9776871
There is no helping you
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>>9776781
It's hilarious how poorly you misunderstood the quote in the OP. His point is literally that the so-called redpill is in fact a red herring (no pun intended), that rather than being an astute observer he is a defective human that cannot experience life in a healthy manner. It's not a matter of being "freer" than happier people, but a sad pantomime act that masks a fundamental mental weakness.
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>>9776781
Nah, mate.
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>>9775021
Yes I would. I wholeheartedly would.
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>>9776882
No, I fully understood what OP meant, and I meant what I said. You simply misunderstood me.
He may have considered it "bad" to be an observer, but it isn't, in my opinion. It really is like the baldy in the Matrix who wishes to go back and taste fake steak, whatever. Plato's Cave allegory, etc. That's all. It's not too difficult to understand.

He was wrong anyway.

>>9776895
Alright
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Mishima has got it backwards. Feeling alienated doesn't happen because one can't be their "natural self", but because one is incapable of taking such self for granted. The alienated person is not different but instead is incapable of differentiating themself "properly" like others would--they're the ones that can't play the part (because they can perceive the shortcomings or contradictions), not the others.
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>>9776781

>he astutely tuned in to the fact that some people live as drones, and they always will.

lol at your insecure egotistical reading of that quote.

literally the opposite of what he was saying btw: he wasn't dismissive of them, he was envious of their ease at being.
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>>9776898

>No, I fully understood what OP meant, and I meant what I said. You simply misunderstood me.

You're a triggered super pseud who wants to editorialize on his behalf.
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>>9775015

Actually just finished reading Confessions of a Mask the other day. Another passage that really hit me, to the point where I made a mental note of the page:

"When I arrived at the house in the suburbs that night I seriously contemplated suicide for the first time in my life. But as I thought about it, the idea became exceedingly tiresome, and I finally decided it would be a ludicrous business. I had an inherent dislike of admitting defeat. Moreover, I told myself, there's no need for me to take such decisive action myself, not when I'm surrounded by such a bountiful harvest of so many types of death . . . surely my name has already been entered in the list for one of these: a criminal who has been sentenced to death does not commit suicide. No- no matter how I considered it, the season was not auspicious for suicide. Instead I was waiting for something to do me the favor of killing me. And this, in the final analysis, is the same as to say that I was waiting for something to do the favor of keeping me alive."
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>>9776660
>7.6 billion lessons

Slow down there Tony Robbins
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>>9776898
Cypher was right tho, the truth sucks ass
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>>9776434
what is it then?
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>>9775965
Japan's execution policy is one of the few positive things about its government. It's eugenics. They spot antisocial individuals and then fucking kill them.

It is only in the increasingly retarded West that allowing or encouraging genetically inferior people to breed has become chic.
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>>9777801
Non-judgmental awareness. Notice your breath, notice your thoughts, notice sounds around you, notice temperature changes on your skin, notice the darkness when you close your eyes etc.

But you try as hard as you can not to cling to them; just be aware of them.
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>>9777723
When I used to think about suicide, my chief thoughts turned to how I could kill myself without anyone ever finding the body.

I had a plan. I would leave clues that I have fled the country. Run away to Africa to become a mercenary or to South America with some girl. Then I would go up to the mountains, dig a pit, and set up a sort of collapse to bury my body. Then I'll simply set off a bomb under my chin. Kill myself, hide the body, everyone thinks I went off to become Indiana Jones. Stories would be written about me, I'd be like DB Cooper. I actually got to the point where I was planning on taking out huge loans from loansharks, buying shittons of drugs, buying guns, then disposing of them secretly to make it look like I had sold them, all to make it look like I was planning some huge heist so that people would remember me as some Keyser Soze type, vanishing into the shadows with a fortune made off of cocaine and arms dealing.

Then I realized the sheer absurdity of what I was doing. I was putting more thought and ambition into fucking suicide than I had put into my own life in the last six years. I had put more effort into trying to FAKE having a master plan than I had into trying to actually have a master plan.

It was around then that I started writing.
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>>9777854
what do you write about anon?
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>>9776781
You misinterpreted Mishima's words so egregiously that you ignored him directly calling this arrogance a mistake. Good work.

>When a boy discovers that he is more given into introspection and consciousness of self than other boys his age, he easily falls into the error of believing it is because he is more mature than they.
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>>9778166
A lot of things. I've written for vidya before, which was painful. Programmers tend to either think nothing at all about writers, or to think that we are demigods who have some sort of god's eye view of the project. The reality is that as a video game writer you will basically wait for someone to tell you to write something and then write it, unless you're cross-discipline and also a programmer or directing the project. I had a graphics guy asking me about enemies he should be making. I had no idea. It was a clusterfuck.
I've also written for tabletop games. If you're /tg/ at all, you have read my work. A company I signed up with recently got a pretty big kickstarter 500% funded, so I'm not going to be out of work for a while.

My real passion is fantasy. I want to write fantasy novels, but the market is bullshit. You have to predict what the next big trend is going to be before you start. Right now everyone's trying to emulate Martin because muh Game of Thrones, but my prediction is that the next big thing is going to be Nationalism. The public psyche seems to revolve presently around existential cultural threats. Tapping into that is the key. Never write what is popular now, write what will be popular tomorrow.
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>>9776781
you are correct
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>>9777549
>HEE Leeee XD Insecure dudeeee hurrrrrr

I never claimed he was dismissive of them, I never claimed he wasn't envious... everything I said sitll stands, you sub 90 IQ having retard

>>9777559
>Le pseud
Not argument

>>9777785
Yeah, if "happiness" is your goal, then he was 100% correct.
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>>9778248
Yeah... I didn't misinterpret anything, you low IQ retard.
Run along and go be stupid elsewhere
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