Ay, what's the most fantastical greek or roman literature about badass gods fighting and shit?
>>9704235
>tfw you will never read the Titanomachia
The Odyssey actually mentions the Gods a lot and things that go on between them.
Ares cucked Hephistos by fucking Aphrodite for instance and all the other male Gods had some banter about Ares when Heph trapped him
>>9704292
Ares was by far the shittiest God in the whole of all mythology ever.
>Be Ares
>Fuck the dude who makes your weapons's wife
>who's also a cripple
>get caught in a net by him
>Go fight some noobs in the Iliad
>get punked by some dude with the help of Athena
He just fails at everything.
We want to think that ancient mythologies are about badass gods fighting and shit but in reality mythology is 90% about untangling a shitty mess of different gods about farming that are vaguely confused together by several cultures with no real authority on the subject and the last 10% is weird shit like gods turning into female animals and having sex with trees to give birth to abstract concepts.
>>9704336
looks like someone was assigned Hesiod in school.
>>9704306
doesn't Ares get caught in a web by Hephaestus while he's fucking his wife?
Also, anyone know anything of the Fengshen Yanyi?
>>9704306
>Be Ares, God of War
>One day two giants declare war against the Gods
>Their master plan, I shit you not, consists of piling up three mountains and stepping on them to reach the Gods
>isthisforreal.jpg
>Ares faces them
>The literally retarded giants just giggle, grab him, shove him in a bronze urn and sit on it
>Ares is trapped for THIRTEEN MONTHS
>Finally Artemis comes by, turns into a deer, runs between the giants, the dumbasses throw their spears and teamkill each other
>IT_WAS_THAT_EASY.png
>Ares is freed, but his dignity will remain trapped in that shitty urn for all eternity
>>9704386
rekt.
where is this recorded?
>>9704534
The side story of Ares being stuck in a jar by giants is briefly mentioned in book 5 of the Iliad.
>line 385
>So suffered Ares, when Otus and mighty Ephialtes, the sons of Aloeus, bound him in cruel bonds, and in a brazen jar he lay bound for thirteen months; and then would Ares, insatiate of war, have perished, had not the stepmother of the sons of Aloeus, the beauteous EĆ«riboea, brought tidings unto Hermes; and he stole forth Ares, that was now sore distressed, for his grievous bonds were overpowering him
The part about Artemis tricking the giants into killing themselves is mentioned in both of Ares and Artemis's wikipedia page but unfortunately I cannot find a direct source to an ancient text.
>>9704235
Pursy Jackman