Hey guys, I never posted on here, I found some shit I wrote back

>>9692522
Just do it here or in the critique thread if one is up right now. I live for cringe, so please entertain me

>>9692528
You got it, man.
Here goes nothing, some excerpts of what I feel is the best I've got:

The ideas are already formulated and long ready to ship out before it even comes out of my mouth, or written down on paper. What was it again? 4 styles of communication? Written, spoken, and two others. Reading.
Oh, and listening. I really need to stress how sorry I am right now. I’m never so apologetic, because I feel it makes me less of a man. I can’t help it at this exact moment because in reality, I’m a mess. That may be true partially to the fact I just got half my skull blown open by a Mossberg 500 pump action shotgun during a really sweet stakeout. You wouldn’t believe the action going on, it’s just like in the movies. I can’t think straight with half my hemisphere hanging out the perfect V-shaped fissure the bullets so neatly crafted into my skull though. Picture a bunch of dudes waltzing in so elegantly in slow motion into a bank, since I work in one, and you’re scared shitless but it looks pretty cool when everything goes slow since your heart is pounding and you know this could be the end for you, which in this case I was the first to go.

>>9692587
That being said, I’m dead.


I am now sitting in what seems to be a circle of iron-rusted chairs that would’ve been branded Mayor’s Choice if I hadn’t known better, with the overtones of what could be alcoholics anonymous. Would make sense, since I’ve had enough 750ml of whisky bottles enough to club an entire mafia branch. They were positioned in horizontal, vertical, diagonal positions. Stonehenge of green hue bottles, with the last bit of alcohol evaporated yet leaving a nice little sticky residue at the bottom enough to give the corner of the room a melancholic smell of a distant abusive relative at a New Year’s Eve party who asked you about what you would like to be once you grow up, when in fact you were already grown up? Explain that.

>>9692593

“Housewarmer?” I mumbled, in my mind, of course, I don’t need to piss off head honcho on my first day here, which by the way is void of all trauma done to my brain thanks to the neurotransmitters going haywire in World 1, unseen by the general populace still within constant beating of hearts. I admit, I chuckled audibly, and I was met with this response.
“Your smile is so innocent you look like a newborn baby.” Oh wow, thanks you stupid fuck.
“You understood what happened right?” Nope, tell me more, would really need to know actually.
“You died and went to heaven.” Sure doesn’t look like heaven to me. Your walls got chipped grey paint that resembles the crust off an elderly woman nether regions trying to get all hot and bothered for her husband who sadly, is closer to perishing based on the sole and simple fact that men pass away before women do.

>>9692593
“Did we all actually go to heaven?”
“Not really, I said that to calm you down and ease you into the situation. This isn’t even some kind of purgatory. It feels like one, yeah, but what it really is, is just a prison.”
I’m going to need him to shed some of God’s light on this subject, because I am as confused as you are right now.
“Can you please elaborate? I don’t know if you’re messing with us right now.”
I was going to say ‘fucking with’, but I just met the dude, and didn’t want to leave a bad first impression, after all when I was alive, I was careful with the things I would say to make sure I didn’t offend anyone.
“I am, it’s my way of lessening the gravity of the situation, truth is, we didn’t die the way we were supposed to. There’s a specific way for us to die. For any living thing for that matter.”

>>9692610
That's what I got for now, I got a couple of pages left.


Story is basically about this guy who dies and he's in some sort of purgatory joint, and he meets a girl. And like they gonna get all separated and shit, him going to hell and her to heaven or whatever. It's some romance with skateboard riding and all. Keep in mind it's kinda old so go EASY ON ME. Or don't.

CRICKETS.