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I start reading a smart guy's philosophy book. Instantly,

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I start reading a smart guy's philosophy book.
Instantly, I want to no longer be alive.
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Does anyone wish to take part in my thread?
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okay
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It was when a celebrated historian and art critic, a man of European fame, had announced a lecture in the university hall. I had succeeded in persuading the Steppenwolf to attend it, though at first he had little desire to do so. We went together and sat next to each other. When the lecturer ascended the platform and began his address, many of his listeners, who had expected a prophet, were disappointed by his rather spruce and conceited air. And when he proceeded, by way of introduction, to say a few flattering things to the audience, thanking them for their attendance in such numbers, the Steppenwolf threw me a quick look, a look which criticized both the words and entire personality of the speaker -- an unforgettable and frightful look which spoke volumes! It was a look that did not simply criticize the lecturer, annihilating the celebrated man with its crushing yet delicate irony. That was the least of it. It was more sad than ironical; it was indeed utterly and hopelessly sad; it conveyed a quiet despair, born partly of conviction, partly of a mode of thought which had become habitual with him. This despair of his not only unmasked the conceited lecturer and dismissed with its irony the matter at hand, the expectant attitude of the public, the somewhat presumptuous title under which the lecturer announced -- no, the Steppenwolf's look pierced our whole epoch, its whole overwrought activity, the whole surge and strife, the whole vanity, the whole shallow play of opinionated intellectuality. And alas! The look went still deeper, went far below the faults, defects and hopelessness of our time, our intellect, our culture alone. It went right to the heart of humanity, it bespoke eloquently in a single second the whole despair of a thinker, of one who perhaps knew the full worth and meaning of man's life. It said:
"See what man sloths we are! Look, such is man!"
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I warned you, Anonymous. Philosophy is the gateway literature to suicide.
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>>9613869
Now, I am alone. But I'm nothing now, yesterday I left a place and now I'm nothing I'm nobody. I can't even think for myself.
What good can I do killing myself?
What good can I do writhing in my sheets and clawing at the air to enter a plain of being more meaningful than my own? An improver of society would come along, and he'd see everything I've been, and everything I'd done. It would all be put quite frankly, and I'd sit in the coffin like a stupid little kid. Who couldn't see how simple and frank it all was, unlike everyone else now does.
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I'm not reading this >>9613866. Which philosopher?
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>>9613895
Frankly, all of them.
It's not my misunderstanding or lack of ability to understand. But, when I see someone with merits higher than my own, with academic esteem, who attempts to describe all of reality or at least humans, I cannot help but feel like I'm grinding my head against concrete. It feels like I'm reading battery acid. I can't take it, that everyone wants to create a formula for everything, or a formula against or for a formula for everything or a....
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>>9613903
why not read poetry then? And hopefully you're not reading analytic stuff or continental stuff past husserl
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>>9613912
Well, I really enjoy short stories. By Kafka, Gogol, Dostoevsky...

But I don't think I was right, it's not the existence of the "acidic" philosophies that hurts me, it's that for most people on here they're not acidic at all. I'm always behind in everything. Right now I feel like I write from the point of view of a 13 year old kid, and I'm really classified as an adult.
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>>9613924
I really don't know what you're worrying about. It sounds like you're taking philosophy too seriously, which you shouldn't, because there's been quite a few philosophers who have basically admitted that the whole deal is a fiction. Anyway listen to this, maybe it'll help assuage your anxieties

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chsATJpu2UY&t=1477s
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>>9613669
>>9613847
>>9613865
>>9613866
>>9613903
hey are these illustrations from a children's book? they remind me of where the wild things are except wilder
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>>9613946
it's from a children's book from the future called man after man
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>>9613946
Do you know where I can access it? This and Expedition and two books I've always wanted to get my hands on.
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Opie you should read some Borges
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