ITT: 1) Go to https://ineedaprompt.com 2) No matter what, wr

>>9586954
>A trial lawyer who is noisily delivering pizza to a blushing Elvis impersonator.
I'm not in the mood of writing a gay porn short story.

>A sick carpenter who is feebly uppercutting a gorgeous and smug hobbit in the Penthouse Suite of a Waldorf Astoria Hotel.
I guess this is a metaphor for how fantasy (escapism in general, not just Tolkeinesque) has taken centre stage, in beauty and in richness over the sick and ailing Abrahamic religions. Nah this is dull.

>A green-tinged and beautiful cross-dresser who is tiredly Netflix-and-chilling with a history professor.

Actually believable

>>9586954
>A conniving sailor who is Netflix-and-chilling with a lively carpenter.

"Ayy jesus wanna watch some 'me with a hot stoker"
"no"
"your loss"
the stoker said, turning on some 'me. Jesus wondered why it was that the stoker had a tv in the room, and why he would be watching anime on an 1840's german steamboat, but it was probably just some magic shit. This prompt is really stupid - Jesus added. And this story reeks of Reddit. The writer felt ashamed of the garbage he was spewing, and accidentally spilled coffee on his sheets. His grandma would be mad.

>>9586954
>An ancient Star Trek enthusiast who is ferociously ordering 10 pounds of General Tso's Chicken for a beautiful monk at the top of the Washington monument.

Jay got let out of the convention center right at four. It felt like he’d been in there forever with all the introductions. He was antsy. When the other orthodontists went to the hotel bar, he wanted to see some of Washington. Their hotel was right on Pennsylvania in the old Post Office building.

He wondered how his daughter’s field hockey game went. He hoped Stacy’s dad hadn’t been at the game. Maybe it had been so crowded his wife and Mr. Greene hadn’t had space to sit together. His cock twitched. There was the monument.

A Canadian family asked Jay to take a photo and he took a few just in case they didn't like one of them. Then he bought an “FBI” t-shirt for his son Sam. He wished he could get Sam into Star Trek. It smelled like low tide on the elevator up, but the view was worth it. Some brave private equity manager, Jay knew, had generously endowed the moment after it had been split. That’s what Stacy’s dad did - Jay wondered how rich Mr. Greene was.

The sun set over the national capital and Jay thought to himself, wow, here I am in the capital of the greatest empire on earth. What a time to be alive! When something started to make his leg itched, he looked down. A bald man in a red robe with a yellow face was trying to say something from behind his buck toothed squint.

What do you want, chink? Jay didn’t say that out loud, did he? Where was his cell phone?

There it was, over by the elevator. He must have dropped it. TEXT “YES” to 33945 if that charge of $357 from Big City China Lights was correct. Fuck, he thought, as the monk bowed, his wife and Mr. Greene had really done it this time.

>>9587001
If you were just going to complain why even do it in the first place?

>>9586954 (OP)

"Like they say, it takes two you know," the customer whispered, leaning in on Luna’s ear close enough to breathe some warmth into her head (that always kept cool while balancing the trays of very expensive drinks), but far away enough to stir her irritated interest. The world drowning in bass was put out of focus by a tattooed finger approaching the hem of Luna’s ironed trousers, and she noticed now in dread that it was the finger with the Muppet tattoo. Everyone knew what Kermit Man did to young professional waitresses, so Luna tried to back away from the situation by offering to bring him the drinks he just ordered (which he did not).
”Right now, mister, you told me to get you extras,” she said but was gripped by her wrist and yanked down towards the seat. His breath smelled like pineapples as he spoke, ”What would your boss say if you dropped all this glass on my face? Come sit down by my side. Keep me company.”
They both sat silent while his hot hand traveler further up her thigh. Then, it was almost at her crotch and she hated her desperate juices. Kermit Man would smell it any moment now.
”Do you love to dance?” he asked.
”I don’t do dancing,” Luna said.
”No? Are you sure? I’ve always loved the Tango if you ask me.”

Soon Luna was dancing faster and faster, her hips embracing the entirety of Kermit the frog. Accelerating music surrounded their act and the bodies of other people lost in the rhytm grew in size like jungle trunks around them, powerful and moist.

>>9586954
>A sick Comedian in a Pizza Hut
"Wanna hear a pizza joke?"
"..."
"I said, wanna hear a pizza joke?"
"NO!"
"Never mind it's kinda cheesy!"
"..."
"What a wonderful audience."
Fuckng great job here, working fucking Pizza Hut, don't even have a fucking stage, nope, just the ground next to the goddamn juke box. Bullshit, book me same night as the fucking clown, fucking only makes like 3 different balloon animal, cunt fucking rainbow hair bitch with her slutty lips, fucking ahhh.
"What did the angry pizza say to the man?"
"..."
"Ayy, you wanna pizza me?!"
"..."
"Thank you, I'll see you all, next Tuesday!"
If I don't drive my car into a play ground first, fucking kids starring at me with their open mouth, damn buck teeth stare, punt their fucking heads off.
"Hey big boy, wanna come back to my place." Says the clown, twisting a balloon into a penis shape."
"Yeah."
And then the comedian whipped out his dick, and had copious amounts of sex with the clown. Little did the clown know, that the comedian had full blown AIDS, they both died soon after. They were buried under a Pizza Hut, no priests attended.

>An unethical and disgusting nun and a conniving stormtrooper.

Now her intestines whine softly, and she feels shit begin to slide down and out. He kneels with his arms up holding the rich cape. A dark turd appears out the crevice, out of the absolute darkness between her white buttocks. He spreads his knees, awkwardly, until he can feel the leather of her boots. He leans forward to surround the hot turd with his lips, sucking on it tenderly, licking along its lower side… he is thinking, he's sorry, he can't help it, thinking of a Negro's penis, yes he knows it abrogates part of the conditions set, but it will not be denied, the image of a brute African who will make him behave… The stink of shit floods his nose, gathering him, surrounding. It is the smell of Passchendaele, of the Salient. Mixed with the mud, and the putrefaction of corpses, it was the sovereign smell of their first meeting, and her emblem. The turd slides into his mouth, down to his gullet. He gags, but bravely clamps his teeth shut. Bread that would only have floated in porcelain waters somewhere, unseen, untasted-risen now and baked in the bitter intestinal Oven to bread we know, bread that's light as domestic comfort, secret as death in bed… Spasms in his throat continue. The pain is terrible. With his tongue he mashes shit against the roof of his mouth and begins to chew, thickly now, the only sound in the room is the lotion passing between the hand and frenulum of Darth Vader as he pleasures himself.

>>9587985
Nigga fuck you for plagiarising my man Pynchon

>A depressed and likable software engineer who is throwing stones.

"Webdev" he says, "I'm doing Webdev." Again the silence follows. Again a stone is thrown and hits the pavement. Clack. "What does that involve, like, do you code, uh, websites?" Trying to be nice, I, a young woman who has already, to my and his regret, declared the software engineer to be uninteresting, un-sexy, un-desirable. It's not that I don't like him. I imagine he has heard that plenty of times. I imagine it would hurt to tell him that. He seems sad. Clack
"It's not that interesting, wouldn't be to you I mean. Not that you wouldn't understand, it's just not that great. I don't like it that much either, to be totally honest with you." He turns his hanging head towards me, a pained smile flashes over his face, then he quickly jerks it back. Clack.
"Oh, I see. Why don't you do something else then?"
"I don't know."
Clack.