Anybody plan on reading this? 25-year-old female author, Sa

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>>9542648

I don't care about her shitty prose, OP. I am far more interested in her Woolf shnoz.

Check the bloody size of the thing.

That "self-consciously" is a turd in the salad.

This is a novel? Reads like a facebook post.

>>9542668
Can you please leave? Misogyny not welcome here.

>>9542671

Yeah, I looked her up and saw her twitter too. Typical low IQ pop-socialist churned out by British academies.

It reads like someone whose primarily engagement with words is on the internet or in writing groups. So there's the formality of proof-reading but the informality of casual chat, except it doesn't feel like natural speech to me. It's like there are too many trees and not enough forest. Too 'self-conscious' maybe, but hey that is not necessarily a negative. I don't know if publishers are that advanced though.

>>9542648
No good debut novel has ever had its rights sold for anything more than negative one blowjobs.

>>9542659
Definitely qualifies as a shnoz.

>>9542680
>British

Are you being serious? She's Irish.

>>9542693
>TCD
>bastion of west-britishness

>>9542693

Ireland is British, deal with it.

>Bobbi and I first met Melissa at a poetry night where we were performing together. Melissa took our photograph outside, with Bobbi smoking and me holding my wrist in my right hand. Melissa used a big professional camera and kept lots of different lenses in a special camera pouch. She chatted and smoked while taking pictures. She talked about our performance and we talked about her work, which we’d come across on the internet. Around midnight the bar closed. It was starting to rain then and Melissa invited us back to her house for a drink.

>We all got into the back of a taxi and started fixing up our seat belts. Bobbi sat in the middle, facing Melissa, so I could see the back of her neck and her little spoon-like ear. Melissa gave the driver an address in Monkstown. I turned to look out the window. A voice came on the radio: eighties . . . pop . . . classics. Then a jingle played. I felt excited, ready for the challenge of visiting a stranger’s home, already preparing compliments and certain facial expressions to make myself seem charming.

>>9542671
yeah totally, we respect bookish girls by stalking and them on youtube.

these /pol/ tards need to learn how to RESPECT women like only /lit/ knows how: by worshipping them in creepy autistic fandoms

>>9542740
im not autistic enough to participate in the harassment of female booktubers but the caps sure are funny.

>>9542740

>we
stop this shit.

and you were responding to obvious sarcasm you clueless twat.

>>9542648
That is almost unforgivably bad. Seems just like the kind of garbage that modern publishers would pay good money for, though.

>>9542763
sarcasm or no, this board is full of autistic effeminate crybabies who deserve to be bullied liek you

>>9542648
>as if I was afraid the wrist was going to get away from me

'no'

>>9542787

>going this hard on the defense because you feel stupid over a misreading of a post

you are insecure as fuck lmao

>>9542793
ok bud nice last word bud come git it

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>>9542796

>if i misread sarcasm i get insanely angry and take it personal
>it shouldn't matter but i am a fuckin loser so it does matter okay it matters a whole lot

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>>9542648
>Bobbi and I first met Melissa at a poetry night in town

Stopped reading there

>Bobbi
Fucking fuck

>>9542802
What's wrong with that?

>>9542659

how much blood is pumped into there each beat? A gallon, you think? more? Ugh it just gets me going you know?

>>9542792
is she trying to convey that she's fidgety or anxious about having her picture taken? like is she holding her wrist to keep her arm from flailing around?

if something so unclear and awkward was buried in the middle of a book that would be forgivable but to have it right there in the opening paragraph is really off-putting and makes me think there's much worse awkward language in the middle of the book. not to mention that what we're looking at is the edited version so what she submitted had to have been a mess.

>>9542659
qt ears desu

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>>9542806
Well for one I live in Dublin and literally personally know this girl Melissa.
She's a talentless turbokike and ruined any hope of a quality Literary society in our Uni by centering around propping her shitty slam poetry career.

Also the dude literally spells his name Bobbi and that makes me furious

>>9542800
ok

>>9542813
>dude

Bobbi is a girl, retard. They're lesbos, dummy. Get with it.

>>9542648
Christ I despise these overpoliticized shitheels and the clumsy garbage they shit out.

>>9542814

>fuck play it play it cool

you should've never gotten to this level in the first place you autist. why do you take this shit so personal? you rage flared because you misread some dumb sarcasm in a post? who even cares you sperg.

>>9542822
that was someone else

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>>9542818
Like I said I stopped reading there. Bobbi is still a dumb name for a girl.

Anyway Dykes or not they're preachers of mediocrity and seriously bring down the discourse of anywhere they stand

>>9542829

lmao okay bro okay.

clearly you're in a state.

>>9542833
no really it was. i just said 'ok' because i thought it would be funny

>>9542835

>so insecure over some innocuous misread of his that he wants to devolve this into (you) farming until he gets the last word

you have actual autism. go ahead and win now.

>>9542648
I actually find this reassuring, because if this crap can get published then I have more than a fair shot at the same.

>>9542841
no seriously the 'ok' was my first post to you but i guess you'll never know for sure

>>9542842
You have it the wrong way around, having quality work is a liability these days.

>>9542818
how dare you presume on it's preferred gender pronoun, you normative fuck.

>>9542842
the question is, are you willing to take the D, man?

>>9542680
>Typical low IQ pop-socialist

Ah, so this board is where the enlightenment genius now resides.

>>9542740
>yeah totally, we respect bookish girls by stalking and them on youtube.
>these /pol/ tards need to learn how to RESPECT women like only /lit/ knows how: by worshipping them in creepy autistic fandoms

Good god. Not only did you not realize the sarcasm but you have wrapped up your identity with divisions of an imageboard.

>>9542868
Sure why not, where else?

>>9542868
>Ah, so this board is where the enlightenment genius now resides.
people here at least have enough sense to post their little retarded thoughts to /lit/ instead of blasting it on fb or twitter where all your cringiest thoughts will be forever archived and attributable to you

>>9542648
Are they in Chapters?

>>9542894
>people here at least have enough sense to post their little retarded thoughts to /lit/ instead of blasting it on Faber & Faber where all your cringiest thoughts will be forever archived and attributable to you

Fixed.

>>9542903
>tfw forced to receive validation for little retarded thoughts through YOUs

>>9542848
Even better, I can just write crappy pulp sci-fi, like I wanted to when I was young.

>>9542854
Don't think anybody would want to try, honestly. I ain't even prison-pretty.

>>9542810
She's saying that she secretly holds socially unacceptable views which, if written, would ruin her life.

>>9542668
>modern women
>good at anything
Every paper I've ever read by a female college student reads like it's straight from facebook/twitter.

So, is this the new money laundering scheme, like modern "art"?

>>9543159
Yeah but in her circle saying Trannies aren't indistinguishable from real women is lynch worthy

>Womemes at it again

>>9542702
up the rah

>>9543377
I wouldn't be surprised. This girl is getting a ton of money for a book that belongs on wattpad.

IRELAND, THE COUNTRY OF POETS
REDUCED TO THIS

>>9543669
Joyce is rolling in his grave

>>9542659
Ew

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>>9542648

It could be good if the story structure is well done. I doubt it though. The big payout suggests there's probably some sort of drama at the center of the plot that'll make the novel really marketable and adaptable.

There's a whole modern school of writing like this, descending from Ann Beattie, which is deceptively casual and plain but actually really really good.

If you want to read something great like this try Amie Barrodale.

>>9543846
I just had to check my browser tabs to make sure that I didn't somehow end up on r/books. What the fuck man.

>>9543853

What, you too much of a pleb for Ann Beattie?

>>9543878
>literally who
Sorry, I don't browse reddit anon.

It kind of has the feel of a young adult novel. Is it YA or is it meant for adults?

>>9543905
Its for "adults" who will never leave young adulthood

>>9542648

I've seen that guy around trinity when I was a student there. He was part of the trinners for winners snoozefest that literally gave me a fetish for scummy hunzos because they were everything he isn't.

That prose isn't promising. I dunno man, seems irish publishing is brimming with shite at the moment.

Are you a dublinfag yourself?

Reminder that all the best Irish writers got the fuck out of Ireland as fast as they possibly could.

>>9544071
Not op, but I went to secondary school with the guy in the picture. He was a bit pretentious but I never got the impression that he was a bad guy.

>I dunno man, seems irish publishing is brimming with shite at the moment.
yeah, it's been a while since I've read any modern Irish fiction that wasn't garbage. "City of Bohane" was good, and I'm reliably informed that "Solar Bones" is a decent read. But there's a lot more of navel-gazing shite, like in the op, than anything else.

>>9544108
Ah yeah, I'm certain they're all lovely, the society types in trinity, I mean. But sure, everyone is lovely in person. It's only in the broad-strokes that we can bear witness to the larger evils they represent. Jumped-up yuppies.

I toyed with the idea of purchasing Solar Bones last I saw it. To be honest I essentially gave up reading contemporary irish fiction years ago, so I'll take your recommendation on the Kevin Barry book. But I only read out of a desperate sense that I need to know the lay of the land in order to understand how to get published myself. Desperate incentive.

>>9542842
If you're a womeme then you're in the money
If you're a man you're fucked though

>>9544071
>>9544108
you lads not a fan of young skins by colin barett?

>>9544269
Dunno. I guess you're saying it's worth giving a shot.

I haven't kept up with irish lit for a number of years so I appreciate the recommendation. Any other suggestions? I'd like to make a list. Maybe this summer I can get up to date.

>>9544269
Haven't read it. it's somewhere down my long list of things to read. You'd recommend it, so?

>>9544309
spinning hearts meant to be good, can't remember the author's name

and spill simmer falter wither is a good one by sarah baume

>>9544312
yeah, very nicely written stuff

>>9544095
This, as soon as I get a programming job in America I'm fucking gone with the wind

>>9544095
I'm sure you're correct, but, examples?

>Always fucking myself about how bad is my shit and how I should really git gud before attempting any kind of publishing.
>Read this

It's kind of uplifting to be honest. I'm stupid, but not at those levels

>>9544368
Joyce, Becket, Wilde, Shaw even Yeats left as a young man.

>>9544390
Ah okay, this I know. I thought we were talking about contemporary irish writers.

>>9542763
He was sarcastic too
>>9542787
I hope..

>>9544396
Like who?
Closest thing to a world class contemporary Irish writer is Lenny Abrahamson. Not sure where he lives

>>9542841
Stop it. I don't have autism. That's an overuse of "autism" and "autist" on 4chan

>>9542726
This. The prose needs to be cleaned up a bit but I'm quite interested for some reason.

>>9544421
I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

>Abrahamson
>closest thing to a world class contemporary Irish writer

How?

>>9542648
>Melissa used a big professional camera and kept lots of different lenses in a special camera pouch.

I get it, inner monologue. It's still fucking awful.

>>9542648
>well I'm gay
>and Frances is a communist
>pay-gap feminism
>Church badddddd!

How is this a real thing? This is just smut disguised thinly as a story.

>>9542648
Fuck this im writing a book now its too easy when the closest the nu-authors have gotten to the greeks is flirting with some beta for his cheat sheet.

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>>9543905
Kidults are the zeitgeist now. We have to adhere to their wants and needs! Fuck reading or writing anything remotely difficult! Make it simple with enough suburban ennui and throw in some magick and not so subtle sexual liberation before going to adult daycare and you've got yourself a best seller!

>>9542648
No discernible talent desu.

>>9544484
>How?

Because his work actually receives global viewing and recognition.
I couldn't name three Irish novelists or playwrights alive today otherwise.

>>9544698

Oh. Fair enough desu.

>>9544661

Dont forget

>"Adult" coloring books on every best seller list

Holyshit this is painful to read. Its like the cunt just scribbled down whatever she could remember happened and didn't give a slightest thought about purpose or editing to any of the lines.
Its like one long mediocre blog post.

>>9542693
She's a west brit

>>9544745

So TIRED of you exists. She is TALENTED okay.

>>9544761

Bedtime Sally

>>9544758
I'll have you know she's from Southern Ireland.

>>9544797
West Brit doesn't mean Norrie. West Brits are Irish people that specifically sound and act like English upper-middle class.

Shane Ross, for instance. Pure West Brit.

>>9542668
i think the internet as a whole has kind of changed what people expect from books and generally anything that's written since language has gotten increasingly less formal

but no you're not wrong at all this is really clunky and awkward to read. zero flow.

>>9542648
Are all women this vapid? Is this actually what they think inside their heads?

>>9544827
I didn't know that, so thanks.

>>9544853
No. And youre a fool for thinking this way. There are vapid people throughout society, both men and women

>>9544920
Name 3 (three) women that aren't vapid

>>9544954

name three women you speak to regularly face to face

>>9544741
I just had an idea...what if we made YA books have coloring pages every other page so these adults can draw the scene they just read and relieve stress. Wouldn't want these adults to have to read too much at one time without a fun distraction.

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>>9542648
>and me self-consciously holding my left wrist in my right hand

>>9544966
Hahah jokes on you, I don't speak to anyone face to face regularly

>>9544390
>>9544368

George Moore,
John McGahern,

It;'s a rite of passage in Irish lit at this stage.

Joyce called the old sod "the farow that eats her young"

Trust me, PhD theses have been written on Irish writers and emigration.

Ryanair only speeds the process along.

>>9544966
Sally, Bobbi, and Melissa

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>>9542659
>>9542648
I would love to slip my penis inside her and gently fuck her in the missionary position but I probably will not read her book and instead opt to read something long, obtuse, and needlessly esoteric by a dead white man.

>>9545205
perfect

my thoughts exactly

>>9545205
Me? I'd stick her big toe up my ass and make her wiggle it while I read Infinite Jest

>>9542648
I don't know why /lit/ gets so upset about these kinds of books. It's perfectly fine, and if it doesn't interest you that's fine too.

From a historical perspective, it's incredibly useful to have dozens upon dozens of first hand, if fictionalized, accounts of a time period. It gives us insight into the era, and how the era perceived itself.

So from a purely utilitarian perspective, every book like this has value to some future anthropologist trying to understand the early 21st century.

>>9545244
I don't really care about books like this existing. I don't read them so I don't really care whether or not they exist. I do think it's a problem that all of these horrible YA writers are being paid obscene amounts of money for what is essentially a blog post, though. It just encourages more of this degenerate writing to be produced.

>>9545244
>From a historical perspective, it's incredibly useful to have dozens upon dozens of first hand, if fictionalized, accounts of a time period. It gives us insight into the era, and how the era perceived itself.

lol nigga we're in the internet age, absolutely nobody will be using her book as a historical reference

>>9545346
This, they're more likely to read this thread than her book. Certainly delving into convoluted internet cultures of the past is more beneficial than a bad rendition of a skewed reality.

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someone post a free version and I will read it.

>>9544966
OWNED

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>>9545721
>women attempting banter

>>9545586
Its in the link in the OP, they preview like five chapters

>>9545524
Not if archives keep dropping like flies. Warosu is pretty much the only one that has been constant over the years and it still was pretty unstable during the /jp/-janny/moot drama and death of tripfag culture circa '12.

>>9545586
you could just browse her twatter/FB, much of a fuckin muchness, anon

>>9544071
OP here. I'm not, Belfast here myself. Go there quite often though.

>>9544698
Check out Marina Carr. I really enjoyed By the Bog of Cats

>>9542648
It is "worse" than even Tao Lin. Go to bed, Sally Rooney.

Sage and hide.

>>9542648
>try to write post-taolinesque quirky super-self-conscious post-post-postmodern (((novel))) titled like a fkin friends episode
>do a terrible job
>succeed anyway cause a woman in XXI century

Irish "people" will be dealt with

>>9544232
I doubt that, honestly. I get that more women are getting published, these days, but if my work is good then surely I can find a publisher with time and patience.

>>9546480
haha.

>Egalitard detected.

dream on, manlet.

sauce: former publishing hack

jesus christ at least mediocre white men are better than this, restore us to our rightful place desu

sage

No.

Irish here, I remember reading an interview of this a few months ago. She says herself she doesn't even read Irish lit, only American and her study was in American lit. Just another vacuous cosmopolite Dub who wishes she was murakami or someother amburger author

I don't know about you, anons, I'd love to go down on the sally gardens.

>>9543673
Only because he will never sniff her farts in st. Stephens

>>9545988
Folked up author is being charged with pedophilia kek

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Who here /desmondfennell/?

I really really hate the film toibin meme, he literally has no discernible talent, he just coasts on popular themes

>>9546551
what?

>>9546635
Colin toibin, sorry autocorrect

>>9546885>>9546570

would you rather ride Colm or Sally, lads?

>>9542686
Toplel

>>9544441
That's because you're horny.

>>9542763

you were responding to obvious sarcasm you clueless twat.

>>9542648
Who's the qt on the right?

>>9543372
>modern
You
MEAN
COMTEMPORARY

>>9545586
I wouldn't read it for free. I wouldn't even read it if that were my job.

>>9546958
Bobbi