ITT: We post a single sentence from a work in progress and rate

>>9516293
Leaving her chocolate behind, Emily bounded after her friend. They didn’t stop running until they reached Scott’s house several blocks away.

It's a YA book I'm working on. No h8 pls.

>>9516293
nigga think you could use different words for colors? It would help the contrast of the black and white memory with the vividness of the colors.

just my thoughts. overall 7/10 not shit

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I grabbed her shorts and ripped them off her, revealing her pink panties.
I unzipped my pants and my boner was pulsating, swinging around as i pulled down my boxers.
She gasped for my hefty cock, and by the effect of some wired primal force in her, she leapt to her knees and wrapped her lips around my dick, sucking it emphatically, looking up into my eyes with an utter submission, slightly fluttering her eyelashes.

>>9516461
some of the best writing on /lit/

keep going.

>>9516461

She kept on for some time while i moaned like some kind of a confused, virgin silverback gorilla getting his dick wet in some tight ape pussy for the first time, although this was of course not my first time.
I decided enough of sucking – time to see how that wet pussy of her looks like.
I caressed her hair for a moment before i grabbed it, not too aggressively, just signaling i was ready to go cave exploring.
She turned around with her lower lip swollen, with my fluids dripping from it, jaw dropped, breathing heavily, as if ready to receive my fat cock.
I looked around again – no one in sight it seems.
She was on her knees and palms, her ass directed towards me, with her legs together.
I felt her ass and thighs for a moment, gently stroking between her cheeks with my left thumb as i held her left cheek.
I could see a single wet dot where her pussy lips were and i began rubbing, denying myself the sight of her pussy for some time more, while my cock pulsated.
Finally, i spanked her once and she reacted with a single girly moan, then i slowly pulled her panties down – her ass was now moving uncontrollably back and forth, she was hungry for my cock.

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>>9516293
A brick of a truck wove through the streets, careening toward a toothy skyscraper.

>>9516461
brilliant stuffs

>>9516362
this is a literature board not one for YA

>>9516573
don't do two cute metaphors in one sentence. Either keep the truck or the toothy.

I hate the sounds of footsteps in the house, there seem to be too many; I know the distance from the end of the hall to the door to my room and it is not so far and I feel there are moments similarly in my childhood that i have missed, that have slipped past my notice and are now divorced from myself and thought.

And I unzip my trousers and almost immediately with only a few strokes I come and white stickiness seeps down the top of the feet and pools in the gaps between the toes.

>>9516584
YA is literature. Fight me faggot.

After he left I sat on my own for a while and looked at the trees. That all I can give you; "trees". I have no idea what kind of trees they were. Pretty, green ones. When and where do other people learn which trees have what names? My attendance at school was exemplary so I wasn't ill on tree day or whatever. The whole thing's weird. Anyway some dark clouds moved in so I left too.

>>9516293
I am a coward; I recoil from love, happiness, truth, and vulnerability. In filth I rest, rotting under diseased flesh of hatred, self-loathing, suspicion, and pain. The heat of these decaying hulks above keeps my parasitic body warm.

>>9516698
my diary desu

>>9516461
good except change boner to erection and keep cock

Creation is impossible without desire. The artist creates his works because he desires beauty, because he is without it, or it is his belief that it is absent in himself.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

>>9516461
>Hefty.

Kek.

>>9516674
Kek

I was glad as a result of telling myself I'd be glad, but not because I told myself I'd be glad, but because I found gladness in knowing that even without feeling glad or believing in feeling glad after telling myself I was glad, I could feel glad by telling myself that telling myself I was glad would make me glad; it was my super power.