Thread replies: 6
Thread images: 1
Thread images: 1
File: Joseph_Mallord_William_Turner_-_Raby_Castle,_the_Seat_of_the_Earl_of_Darlington_-_Walters_3741.jpg (2MB, 1800x1200px) Image search:
[Google]
2MB, 1800x1200px
It's almost halfway until may I have nothing to say I am only using this medium to feel like I'm actually doing something with my life. As if all of a sudden I’m gonna become a fucking “writer” because I like the delusion better than the reality. I have no real discernable talents, everything I’m interested in is extremely shallow to impress people? It’s this charade I've been putting up ever since my social inadequacy and laziness started affecting me. I'm not smart, If I’m smart I weep for this world. I’m no artist, no scientist, no “freeman”, no philosopher, I exist and question my justification for it everyday. I will live and disappear. I am nothing. Why am I still fucking doing this. I think about suicide but then I think I'm just trying to be a little edgy shit. Im even thinking this shitty ass work I'm writing is genius, my ego won’t leave me alone. I can't ever spell right. I can't face being a failure even though that's all I ever done with everything my entire life. Either failed and ‘passed’. I’m almost 20 and remembering the last time I’ve made advances at a women in 6th grade. Giving a note to a friend to give to a girl. She chose Patrick. The chubby little fuck. I am only attracted to women and want to fuck women but looking at a vagina directly disgusts me. Maybe it’s because of my virginity. I tried looking at gayporn but that disgusted me the same.
Now I'm worried if this post is discovered in the future and will discredit me but I realize nobody would care
>>
I have had some similar thoughts. Continue to persevere.
>>
>>9492099
thanks anon. I needed to hear it somewhere outside my head. I feel a little better now
>>
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems-and-poets/poems/detail/54320
Ezra Pound cn relate! You're young, don't compare yourself, find "of the green world what can be thy place/In scaled invention or true artistry."
>>
You are not even twenty. You haven't lived enough life to have anything with perspective to say. You have claimed to the first base camp at Everest. You are still on the lowest wrung of life. Nothing you have to say will matter to anyone (most people) higher up the mountain. You need to keep climbing and writing. But until you hot at least 30 you are still lacking in experience and understanding. Until you are 40 you wont have a decent or worthy thought in your head. Then you can write that. If you are like most people you wont have a true revelation your entire life. You may as well write jibbberish with ink made of your own feces and seal it up bottles and toss it into volcanoes. You immature little shit. Fuck off with your indulgent introspection. Go out and kill some one. Go fuck someone. Not gentle sex with your 4/10 girlfriend. I mean anal destruction. Go out and ruin a life or two. Or get those things done to you. Otherwise you have nothing. Nothing to write about. Fuck you.
>>
>>9492121
I know what you are saying is true, and I try to go and live my life but I don't know what to do. It's what kept me from interacting with women. I don't know what to do with my life other than smoking weed and barely passing my cc classes. I had a couple pages left in a paper and was so fucking lazy I decided to stop and not turn it in. For two pages.
It seems so deep, I can't climb out. All I think about is past predictions on what I would be doing with my life at this point.
Thread posts: 6
Thread images: 1
Thread images: 1